im 40 years old

Can you imagine how proud Gerard must be? He was a drug addict and an alcoholic for years. He was suicidal and he thought he was never going to make it past 25. But now it’s his 40th birthday, he has an amazing wife and a cute daughter, he’s finally accomplishing his dreams as a comic book writer and he’s very happy. He made it and he inspires thousands of people every day, because if he can do it, so can we.

With that being said, let’s all wish this wonderful man a happy birthday and stop judging him for not looking like his 27 year old self.

the entire supergirl cast and crew, and all of the media: lena is a luthor so you can never know if she can be trusted, there’s always some expectation that she’ll turn evil and you never know what she’s planning so she just cant be trusted ever

me: lena luthor is good and pure. i would literally die for lena luthor. if i could choose between the goddess of truth veritas herself and lena luthor i would put my life in the hands of lena luthor. if lena luthor told me that im a 40 year old man named pepito i’d believe her bc she’s not capable of lying n that’s just tea

Me: *playing on my phone*

Friend: hahahahaha are you looking at pictures of GERARD hahaha ew

Me:

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like im sorry but if you support a 40+ year old man sleeping with girls younger than half his age, you can unfollow me. if you think news / media outlets (and for barstool, i use this term so so lightly) slut-shaming said girl is okay and cute and funny, you can unfollow me. if you don’t see the issue with that post, please unfollow me. 

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we tried to carve a porg pumpkin 😂 happy day after halloween!!!

(also omg one lady was like “star trek, nice! you look just like him!!” and i was like ‘wait who’s him’ because i didn’t actually have a character in mind but then i realized she was probably talking about sulu and i was like !! :DDD !!!)

mr. beanstalk // Corbyn (part one)

(881 words) 

a/n: kay! three things: this isn’t my usual writing style - this is going to be in text message form (don’t attack me pls, i’ve never tried this style so i’m sorry if it sUcks), two: this is a growing best friendship between Corb and y/n and he helps y/n deal with her mixed feelings about [mr. beanstalk] and three: i hope you all enjoy and please tell me if you want more! 


“Hello?”

“Yeah-huh?”

“Is this Amirah?”

“Um… nope.”

“Oh… sorry. Didn’t mean to bother you, sir,”

“Who you calling sir”

“Okay, let’s be honest, who am I calling in general?”

“My name’s (y/n). Yours?”

Oh no waaaay! My name’s (y/n) too!”

“Really?”

“If Corbyn is another way of pronouncing (y/n), then yeah.”

“You’re sooooo funny”

“I get that a lot.”

“Why did you call me?”

“I was calling Amirah, okay?”

“Who’s Amirah?”

“Personal business who?” He mocks.

“Sorry, sorry. I was curious, okay?”

“She’s a friend that repairs my instrument equipment.”

“Instrument?”

“Bass, guitar, electric guitar, speakers, microphones, et cetera.”

“Woah, that’s cool. I play ukulele but it’s not like I’m good at it.”

“I’m pretty sure you are.”

“No. Not a-”

The line’s cut off. (y/n) accidentally drops her phone when her dog attacks her with loving kisses.

8:23 pm . (310)-***-**** - oh, sorry. my dog made my phone fly outta my hand

8:23 pm . (703)-***-**** - sEND A PICTURE OF THE DOGGO

8:23 pm . (310)-***-**** - lol here

8:23 pm . (310)-***-**** - (sent a photo)

8:25 pm . (703)-***-**** - sorry i was screaming at my phone bc your dog is so cute

8:25 pm . (310)-***-**** - wow fanks, i take good care of her

8:26 pm . (703)-***-**** - name?

8:26 pm . (310)-***-**** - anastasia aka annie

8:26 pm . (703)-***-**** - oK thats adorable

8:27 pm . (310)-***-**** - wait your name was corbin, right?

8:28 pm . (703)-***-**** - nO YOU GOT IT ALL WRONG

8:28 pm . (310)-***-**** - what is it?????

8:29 pm . (703)-***-**** - …

8:29 pm . (703)-***-**** - its corbyn

8:30 pm . (310)-***-**** - bRUH


(310)-***-**** changed (703)-***-**** to CorbYn 😒


8:32 pm . (310)-***-**** - yOU HAPPy

8:32 pm . C - lol yeah

8:33 pm . C - and your name? I foRgOT hOw tO sPelL iT

8:33 pm . (310)-***-**** - (y/n)


CorbYn 😒 changed (310)-***-**** to (y/n) 🙄


8:34 pm . C - nice name, doofis

8:34 pm . Y - thanks buttface

8:34 pm . C - wow ok

8:35 pm . Y - 😉😉

8:35 pm . C - mk so im sitting like across from my friend and we’re arguing about your age. he says youre like 15 and i say youre a bit older mayb like 17 or 18

8:35 pm . Y - first, whats your friend’s name, then ill answer the question.

8:35 pm . C - why do ya wanna know ??

8:36 pm . Y - beCuZ I wanNa c iF he’S CUte!1!!1! 😍😍😍😩😩😩🤤🤤😘😘💘💓💓❤

8:36 pm . C - jack

8:36 pm . Y - yo like jack and the beanstalk

8:38 pm . C - that was his reaction to what you said (sent a photo)

8:38 pm . Y - lol tell him he’s welcome

8:38 pm . C - lady, u never answered the question

8:39 pm . Y - oh yeah lol i’m 17, 18 in a few months.

8:40 pm . C - lol i’m 18 too.

8:41 pm . Y - fun times, fun times

8:41 pm . C - you said it, not me

8:41 pm . Y - any other questions about me?

8:41 pm . C - i mean, i don’t but my two friends, including jack, want to know more about you lmao

8:42 pm . Y - fire away

8:42 pm . C - k hi this is jack (like the beanstalk)

8:42 pm . Y- heyo

8:43 pm . C (j) - so first, where are you from?

8:43 pm . Y - LA. near beverly hills

8:43 pm . C (j) - woah really

8:43 pm . Y - yes, really.

8:44 pm .C (j) - we live in LA too wow what a coincidence

8:44 pm . Y - o snap thats cool

8:45 pm . C (j) - yeee. another question?

8:45 pm . Y - hm?

8:45 pm . C (j) - what do you look like?

8:45 pm . Y - im gonna assume you arent some creepy 40 year old man who is friends with corbyn and send you a picture, ight?

8:46 pm . C (j) - fine by me (-:

8:50 pm . Y - (sent a photo)

8:51 pm . C (j) - first off, wow. second, what took you so long lol

8:51 pm . Y - first off, wow in what way? 2nd, i had to look thru my camera roll for a decent pic of myself bc im literally sitting in a pink onesie with a black pore cleansing  face mask on.

8:52 pm . C (j) - 1 oh i see and 2, wow in a good way

8:52 pm . Y - well thank you lol but i look like crap on a daily basis

8:52 pm . C (j) - not to me, though. you’re v pretty

8:52 pm . Y - oh um

8:53 pm . C - oh wow im sorry jack is very flirty (this is corbyn btw)

8:53 pm . Y - i figured it was you. I dont think anyone speaks in a third person pov, yk. and yeah i can see that.

8:53 pm . C - yep, sorry abt that.

8:53 pm . Y - just tell mr. beanstalk he can fly off into space if he wants to try and flirt with me through your number

8:54 pm . C - oh well he just asked for your number

8:55 pm . Y - he what now

New Message - (570)-***-**** : mr. beanstalk here (-:

what girls actually look for in guys

tall
tan skin
dark hair
is great at cooking
likes to talk to inanimate objects
has a hella mustache
is Bob Belcher

This weird guy keeps “flirting” (if you can call it that) with me and making me uncomfortable. Here’s how:

I caught him staring at me blank-faced (I don’t even think he blinked) for like 5 straight minutes. He saw me look over at him and tense up and get creeped out AND HE KEPT STARING.

For 3 weeks he would come up to me every few days and say “I have to talk to you after school.” I kept saying OK but blew him off and never talked to him. He then asked me a final time and I finally asked “What do you need to talk about” and he said “You’ll find out after school.” I finally talked to him and he asked me out and I told him I’m already with someone.

Yesterday during class he walked in, slammed a blow pop on my desk loud as fuck, walked away without even looking at me and said NOTHING.

He makes me SO uncomfortable! He’s done this to my friend too! NO MICHAEL I DON’T LIKE YOU I’VE NEVER SPOKEN TO YOU YOU LOOK 45 AND YOU LOOK LIKE COOKIE FROM NED’S DECLASSIFIED

Imagine being 39 and arguing with a 14 year old

Imagine being 39, arguing with a 14 year old and then posting it on the internet for likes

Imagine being 39, making up an argument with a 14 year old and posting it on the internet for likes

Imagine being 39, making up an argument with a 14 year old and posting it on the internet for likes because you need to garner support for a shitty abusive ship

Like… imagine being that pathetic

Ohhhhhhhh my god im running a tent at a town festival, and a 40 year old dude just asked me out. I had to tell him no, and that I had a boyfriend FOUR TIMES before he finally decided to accept the answer, and even then, he left basically saying “lol maybe later” cause he’s come into our store before.

My parents were at the festival, and I called them and asked them to sit at the tent with me until my boss came to take over.