illusory sculpture

Chowder: Dungeon Master

So, Chowder played Dungeons and Dragons all through high school and is as enthusiastic about it as he is with everything else. He desperately wants to play with his teammates but thinks it will be a hard sell. So, after a game where he nearly gets a shutout (their opponent only scored in the last 5 minutes) he manages to convince some people that when he does gets a shutout they will play with him. Lardo has played before because she has friends who are into improv theater, and Jack actually stayed with a family that had a son that was very into it when he was in the Q. Here are some of the characters he made for them to play:

Shitty: Human Barbarian

  • 70% Rage, 29% Sharpened Steel, 1% Clothes
  • Can fight in his underwear and still take less damage than anyone else
  • Named his great axe “The Discourse”
  • Proficient with “Herbalism” kit

Jack: Warforged Paladin of Kord (“He’s the god of sports!! :D”)

  • Actual robot
  • His god revealed Hockey to him in a vision, and now he travels the land spreading it wherever he goes.
  • Jack quotes WWII speeches when he uses the Inspiring Leader feat
  • “Ok… it says here that while you don’t have to eat to live you can still eat the pie if you want.”
  • “Sure Jack, your eyes can glow whatever color you want when you’re angry!”

Lardo: High Elf Arcane Trickster Rogue

  • Silent but deadly
  • Could easily make a living with her breathtaking illusory sculptures, but the party would die if they didn’t have someone with common sense along with them
  • Handles the party finances
  • Wishes she had a portable hole in RL.

Bitty: Halfling Warlock/Bard (“It’s not because you’re short! Halflings just really get hospitality in a way I think you would appreciate.”)

  • Sworn to serve Beyoncé, the fairy queen of the Summer Court
  • Inspires and helps his allies with music
  • Has blue jay familiar named Tweet
  • His ritual book is 90% pie recipes and 10% spells
  • Bitty tries to explain a complicated figure skating move his character does and then gives up and just shows them a video. Chowder thinks for a second, “The goblins run away in terror at this obvious display of witchcraft. Well done!”

Notable magic items that everyone has:

Puck of Chirping (“You can chirp someone so hard that they actually die!!”)

Wondrous Item - Uncommon (Requires attunement)

This enchanted hockey puck is suspended on a chain and worn around the neck. The puck has 2 charges. While wearing it, you can use a bonus action and expend a charge to cast the Vicious Mockery spell (save DC 13) from it. If the target of the spell fails the save, in addition to the normal effects they have disadvantage on the next strength or dexterity ability check they make within the next minute. The puck regains both charges at dawn or when the wearer scores a goal in a regulation hockey game.


Ancient Elven Knife Shoes

Wondrous Item - Common

As a bonus action, the wearer of these enchanted boots can click the heels together to summon or dismiss sharpened steel blades from the bottom of the shoes. While the blades are extended, the wearer does not suffer any penalties for moving across slippery ice and any unarmed strikes made with the feet do slashing damage instead of bludgeoning damage.