illusation

kittlesandbugs  asked:

YOU DID NOT ASK FOR THIS SO FEEL FREE TO IGNORE IT BUT I AM CURIOUS SO what did Athi's tombstone say in Here Lies the Abyss and how did she react to it?

Oh you! Unprompted asks are the wind beneath my wings, so thank you.

So I’ve partially answered this twice, once hidden in a group chat, and the other day for @bearly-tolerable​​‘s OC question extravaganza. Thought I’d bring the pieces together and make something new!

She’s really starting to hate this place.

In particular, this part of this place. This part, with its graves-that-aren’t-graves and its rough-hewn markers that carve away their faces and leave them all naked to one another.

To themselves.

The Nothing. Madness. Dying Alone.

Athi tries not to let her eyes linger on their stones. Those broken places are theirs, and she has no right. Perhaps they’ll even afford her the same kindness.

She tucks one leg beneath her in the dust-that-isn’t-dust and stares at the stone that screams her name for everyone to see. Look here! it says. You’ve all been fooled! See how your leader hides in her own shadow.

Solas is kneeling beside her, fidgeting listlessly with the fingers she curled into his a few minutes ago, and staring up at the sky-that-isn’t-sky. They fell into the fade and his eyes lit up, but then they went dark because of this place, and she hates it. She hates that he’s scared of dying alone, wants to take his face in her palms, dirty and shaking as they are, and tell him he doesn’t have to be afraid anymore. Tell him she’ll go with him. Hopefully not here, or anytime soon, but still maybe he’ll see she means it and his dark eyes will go bright again.

Inadequacy. She traces the deep grooves of each letter with a bare fingertip. More likely, he’ll give her that sad smile and kiss her for trying and then his fear will just wait until she’s looked away to swallow him back up.

She wonders if he’s thinking about her fear while she thinks about his, or if he’s thinking about his own. And if he is thinking about her fear, what he thinks. If he thinks that maybe she’s right to be afraid of being less than enough. If maybe she is less than enough.

Is it really a fear if it’s the truth?

A flash of iridescent green interrupts her musings. From what sounds like far away, Sera curses.

“We should not linger,” Solas says.

True, but hardly enlightening.

Before they leave, she spits on her grave. “Fuck you,” she whispers to the stone, not sure if she’s cursing her fear or herself, but it feels good either way.

They’re working their way back through the pools of water-that-isn’t-water when the nightmare laughs–a soulless, evil rumbling in the air-that-isn’t-air.

“Why do you seek the way out, little elf? There is nothing but emptiness in your future.”

This is not the first time the demon has ferreted out a new weakness. Athi steels herself against the cutting words she knows are coming. Her mind races, desperate for something good to hold onto. She squeezes her eyes shut and hollows out a space made of memories.

The steam weaves in and out of the space above her cup as she shields her eyes against the glare of sunlight glimmering across cool sand. Buffeted by the relentless wind, the tent fabric swishes and hums in noisy complaint. Varric tells that story again–the one with the mabari and the cake–and Bull points out all its holes. Sera’s hair is sticking up in so many places, even Solas laughs. He laughs into her hair–his laugh, the one like spring, the one that bursts in her chest and curls up in her heart and–

It’s no use. The voice is everywhere, shoving its way through the hissing wind and tangling against her scalp, blinding and deafening and right there.

“These friends of yours will see you for what you are: reckless, foolish, and doomed to failure. They will leave you to your fate and save themselves from the destruction in your wake, alhasha’lan.”

Her oasis isn’t strong enough to keep it out. She is not strong enough.

Is it really a fear if it’s the truth?

“Look around you, ‘Inquisitor.’ You are already alone.”

Her heart siezes. “No,” she tells herself, a small defiance. “No.” The mantra courses through her mind, picking up speed with the beat in her chest, even as her meager faith crumbles underneath her. “No, they’re right here. They wouldn’t leave me. No, you’re lying! You don’t have that power, you can’t!”

She forces her eyes to open, determined to see her companions right where she left them, and slowly turns, sure they’re already gone.

There’s nothing but shifting, shapeless wisps and cruel dark edges.


[alhasha’lan - “wild one”]

dalashas  asked:

I love the third wheel but i have no idea what they look like and I feel like everyone else does. Where can you find pic as of them cos so far I'm just imagining jacksons twitter dp and markus and ashe

tbh? i have no idea what they look like either. when Jackson appeared in my dream he was just…. a guy in a gregor cosplay. it was very Surreal 

I think people would be happier if they admitted things more often. In a sense we are all prisoners of some memory, or fear, or disappointment—we are all defined by something we can’t change.
—  Simon Van Booy, The Illusion of Separateness

illusions-are-torn  asked:

What do you think the other Avengers think of Peter's trans status? I imagine Thor would be pretty impressed that humans can transition like that haha

*rubs hands* Oh man I’m so glad you asked about this!

  • So first of all, Thor is Asgardian. It’s been mentioned in some of the newer comics (namely, Loki: Agent of Asgard and The Young Avengers) that Asgardian’s don’t have the same societal perception of sexuality or gender that most human cultures do. Male, female, gay, straight, etc. are all just meaningless labels to most of them. Because of this, I doubt Thor would care that Peter is trans. If anything, Thor would be surprised that Peter’s transition is so difficult. Thor knows Loki, who is canonically genderfluid and can change his appearance from ‘male’ to ‘female’ at will. Upon finding out that Peter is trans, Thor would probably react like, “So, Man of Spiders, when will you perform the Trans Magic?”
  • Obviously, Tony “Daddy Warbucks” Stark would be supportive of Peter. I also headcanon Tony as trans so?? i might write about that in a separate post. Tony probably found out Peter was trans before he met the kid, while he was still researching ‘Spider-Man’. Tony knows, and he’s been on Peter’s side from day one. I’m a big fan of the theory that Tony designed a special binder in the Spider-Man suit, but also: Tony takes Peter shopping to buy him a ‘male’ wardrobe. As a philanthropist, he donates to charities that help trans kid, and as an adopt-a-dad, he does his best to finance Peter’s transition in any way he can.
  • Steve is also such a good ally about the whole deal. Sometimes, he’ll dress up in ‘civilian disguise’ and spend the day with Peter. Steve accompanies him into locker rooms, bathrooms, and all other “men only” spaces to make sure Peter feels safe (and honestly, who’s gonna fuck with you when there’s a 6′0″ beefcake at your side?). Steve also talks to Peter’s bullies like a total dad. When he found out Flash was calling Peter “Penis Parker” he showed up at the Thompson’s house and had a polite discussion with their son about the importance of respecting others.
  • Natasha has a different approach to bullies. She always tells Peter, “If you ever need a transphobe ‘taken care of’, just call me.” She says it with a smile, but Peter still can’t tell if she’s joking or not. She’s tried to teach him self-defense that doesn’t involve web shooters. They spar together after Peter finishes school on Tuesdays. Natasha taught him the ever-useful ‘leg scissor’ move, from one spider to another.
  • Bruce didn’t know much about the whole trans thing before Peter came along. Sure, he had heard stories on the news from time to time, but he had a very surface-level understanding of the matter. When Bruce found out Peter was trans, he took the opportunity to research as much about the subject as possible. He wants to respect Peter’s privacy, but he’s also very curious by nature. Tony eventually designates Bruce as Peter’s personal doctor (which excites the both of them). At some point, Bruce designs a form of testosterone that can keep up with Peter’s heightened immune system. Bruce also does most of Peter’s T injections, because Peter is squeamish about needles.
  • Clint is cool with it. He taught Peter how to skateboard.