illuminatethisnight

#nationalsiblingday
This is my sister, Vicky. She would be 14 now, she only saw 5 years of life before my Dad took her and himself.
I didn’t know it, but she was my best friend, I wish I could see her now, I wish she could have grown up with me. I know she’s watching over me, probably laughing at how soppy I sound right now :’) she was the most beautiful little girl ever, she was so patient and gentle and kind.
I hope I’ve made you proud V :) ill keep fighting for you diddy, I’m gonna beat depression, no matter how long it takes, I’m gonna become a paramedic and I’m gonna live life to the full, for both of us :)
I love you, my honeybunny:’) <3 I hope Daddy is looking after you <3 sweet dreams <3

I think the saddest thing is I know if he was here my dad would be at comp in a week, he’d be cheering me on, he’d drive up early with the whole family and he’d be supportive like he used to be every Saturday at dance.
But he’s not here, mum doesn’t fancy going all the way to Liverpool by herself and Ben has exams. There’s no way any of the grandparents would want to/are well enough to come.
And I’m flying everything, I might not be on the team next year and I just really fucking miss my dad.

During my time at Soul Survivor, each day, i felt god slowly healing me of depression, each day i felt myself getting slightly better… On the final night of soul survivor, I was prayed for, for healing of depression. I felt a huge pressure on my head and then pulling up on my head, I collapsed and couldn’t stop laughing. It felt like depression had been lifted, like after all this time the weight of the world had been taken off my shoulders.
I ran to find Ben to tell him what had happened and his wonderful youth leader got this picture of me telling him. He laughed solidly for about 2 hours after, we were so full of joy! (Either that or he drunk too much communion wine;-)) Lets just hope this feeling stays and depression doesn’t return!
Praise God!
#soulsurvivor13 #MOM13