Mum update.

It’s that time again…

Mumma is back in hospital. Her blood oxygen levels were low when she saw her doctor this morning and so they wanted her to go back into hospital for more checks and tests.

She still has pneumonia, she feels alright, she wants to be back home but she feels okay - tired and a bit fed up with it all but okay. Will know more tomorrow! They did think it was a blood clot in her lung but x-rays and CT scans have proven that that is not the case.

Nan and gramps are going to see her tomorrow (she’s banned me from the hospital, she’s insisting Chris and I go look for moving out stuff considering that she’s doing a lot better than on her previous two visits). 

Hopefully she wont have to stay too long and hopefully this will be the last time she has to be admitted due to this infection. 

  • Person On Tumblr:Nobody ever fakes illnesses and also self-diagnosis is perfectly safe and fine always and never hurts anyone uwu
  • My Mom:I get several patients a week who self diagnosed with shit they don't have and then fake symptoms and then get pissy when I say that they are healthy and don't need treatment. And then they find one shmuck who appeases them and then they sue because one doctor out of twenty agreed with their bullshit. And it's so bad that I have considered quitting. Many of the other doctors at our hospital /have/ quit. This is one of the absolute worst things you can do to a doctor as well as being pretentious and obnoxious as shit.
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On next: all the things I should be better at doing by now but am not! 

Got Symptoms? Diagnose Your Bad Body Here!

Hello, you sick person. Welcome to the Symptom Checker, the best and last online destination for your bad body!

Having symptoms is rough stuff, but that’s just how it goes! Whether they’re dogging only you or even your entire family, the symptoms are for everyone and can definitely be fatal. So, read hard and heavy in this web system, because your whole life whirlpools around this one very special DIY internet moment!

My man and lady, are you ready to start the disaster?

Imagine Person A gathering the courage to ask Person B out on a date.  When A arrives at B’s house to pop the question, B is feeling too sick to hang out, backfiring A’s plan.  A decides to spend the day with their beloved, and ends up creating a fort made out of comfy blankets and pillows and making hot chocolate.

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The skull and skeleton of Joseph Merrick, better known as ‘The Elephant Man’. The cause of the excessive growths throughout Merrick’s skeleton has been a topic of debate, and the current theory is that Merrick may have suffered from a combination of disorders, namely neurofibromatosis type 1 and proteus syndrome, although DNA tests have been inconclusive. Merrick’s skeleton is currently kept in a small museum of the medical school of the Royal London Hospital, the same place where he spent his later years and eventually passed away aged only 27. 

serious illness/cancer starters

“Do you know how long you’ve got?”
“What are the chances of getting through this?”
“I need to tell you something…”
“I guess we should start trying to cross things off your bucket list…”
“Are you scared?”
“But surely there’s something they can do, right? I mean, they have to be able to!”
“This is a joke, isn’t it? Cut it out now, it’s not funny.”
“I can’t see you die, so you better get through this, alright?”
“Whatever you need, I can help you. I’ll drive you to your appointments, I’ll do everything.”
“You can fight this, I know you can.”
“I’ll be with you every step of the way, no matter what happens.”
“I knew you weren’t well, but I’d never thought it could be this serious.”
“I don’t want you to die.”
“What can the doctors do? Were you on time?”
“Are you going to die?”
“They say that I probably won’t make it.”
“I don’t want to die. I’m so scared…”
“What can I do to help you? I don’t want you to have to go through this alone.”
“How can this be happening? You’re still so young…”
“According to the doctors I won’t make it past Christmas.”
“I’m not going to make a big deal about it. Everyone dies. This is my time. I’ll make the most of it, if I can.”
“You just keep getting worse and worse… I can’t bear to lose you.”
“I was never supposed to die so soon. I’m not ready yet!”
“You have no idea what it’s like to be running out of time like this! I almost feel the clock ticking, telling me how little time I still have!”
“I love you, you know that, yes? No matter what happens, I’ll always love you.”
“You have to help me get through this, I can’t do this on my own.”
“Someone once told me that you only start living when you know you’re dying. It’s fucking bullshit.”
“I feel so sick… I just want all of this to end.”
“What do you mean, you’re not going to have treatment?”

Person A of your OTP is baking chocolate chip cookies for Person B, who is sick. Person B can smell some of the batch that’s in the oven and gathers the strength to walk over to Person A in the kitchen. Person B wraps their arms around Person A’s torso and leans forward to look at the cookies that Person A is putting chocolate chips on, but as soon as they do, Person B sneezes. BONUS: Person C starts freaking out about the myriads of germs that are possibly on the cookies and insist that the cookies be put in the oven longer/baked at a higher temperature. What happens after that is up to you.