illmissyou

I know I’ve posted this before. But this little boy is Gabriel. Nero was his best friend and accomplice in most “crimes” (aka feeding the rats treats without asking because he loves the rats). But yesterday Nero passed away. He is devastated and I don’t know how to console him. He’s so shaken up he has night terrors and cries about Nero being gone. Someone please help me make my little boy feel better in a healthy way please.

Sweet angel baby,

Just because I was hardly aware of you, I loved you, and I still do.
I wish I would have gotten to hear your heartbeat.
I wish I would have gotten to feel you kick.
Mommy and daddy wanted you so bad, and before we could even say hello, we had say goodbye.
I’m sorry that someone didn’t want us to meet.
Or maybe it was my fault. Maybe I did something wrong.
All I know is I will love you everyday, my sweet angel baby.
Please look over mummy, daddy, and your big brothers, and keep us safe.
Maybe I’ll see you in heaven someday.
Please wait for me.

James Gamble, was a light in the dark for me. He brightened my day no matter what. I was his last kiss, and for that I am so lucky. So lucky that I got to spend the time I spent with him, no matter how little. I told james every single day that I loved him, knowing he would never say it back but that didn’t matter to me. I knew he was hurting, and I knew I loved him and told him no matter how weird it seemed. He needed to know that people cared. So even though we couldn’t save him, we were able to make his last moments filled with love, which is something I don’t think he’ll ever forget.

I forgive you for leaving. I guess I was to selfish to let you go. You were mine and I just thought you’d always be my rock. My best friend.. My soul mate. But I promise you’ll always have a place in my heart. So, this is goodbye. I hope you go on to be the person I know you are….. incredible. I hope you do meet someone new that can share laughs and secrets with, even cry with about boys. I hope that new person cherishes you and doesn’t let you go home without saying I love you…

You were my home.. I guess people have to pack up and find a new one eventually. I just hope when that one new person meets you, he/she makes you smile the smile I never got to see but feel by your words..

Trust me.. I was scared to death to trust you in the beginning but something told me you were suppose to be in my life.. You marked me with something beautiful and I can’t even thank you enough by these words.

From here to the moon, always..

You can talk with someone for years, everyday, and still, it won’t mean as much as what you can have when you sit in front of someone, not saying a word, yet you feel that person with your heart, you feel like you have known the person for forever… connections are made with the heart, not the tongue.
—  C. JoyBell C.