illegal grows

A DEA officer stopped at our farm yesterday, he said “I need to inspect your farm for illegal growing drugs.”

I said “Okay, but don’t go in that field over there.”

The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, “Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me!” Reaching into his rear pants pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and shoved it in my face. “See this badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish…. On any land !! No questions asked or answers given!! Have I made myself clear?…. do you understand?!!”

I nodded politely, apologized, and went about my chores. A short time later, I heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by my big old mean bull…. With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he’d sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified.

I threw down my tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of my lungs
“Your badge, show him your BADGE!!”

Unpopular opinion: James’ becoming an animagus is nothing to rave about. You might say that it’s because he did something illegal to keep his friend happy. Buddy, there are people out there who grow illegal pot to give to their mates for free or for a discounted price. They’re breaking the law and risking jail time to make their friends happy. Do I praise them? Do I give them hero status? See they get the benefit of being high with their buddies. So I am unimpressed. And James’ got the benefit of breaking school rules after curfew and being a freaking animagus. So again I am unimpressed.

Wrong case. Newt x Female reader Soulmate AU

Notes: This is a fic from my own mind, the reader is a herbologist who is growing illegal plants secretly to keep them from going extinct, she, much like Newt, carries a case with an extension charm that allows her to have her own green house, she travels to New York to find a rare species of flower when her and Newt bump into each other and accidentally switch cases. I won’t explain everything you’ll just have to read it to find out! Hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of the characters or anything from the Harry Potter universe, all credit goes to J.K Rowling of course! This is merely a fan fiction.

Wrong Case: Chapter one: The Greatest Herbologist

When it came to the dark arts, dark wizards and witches more often than not, used curses, jinxes, spells and hexes. However when it came to long term protection of something valuable, and long term damage many dark sorcerers found there were a great many potions that may be brewed easily. These potions inflicted pain, torment, hysteria, forced one to tell their secrets, the truths, and even death. Thus when the  governing forces that brought order to the magical civilizations formed and progressed many potions became forbidden to brew. Certain potions were unable to be made without ingredients from magical plants and thus to ensure the safety and well being of all life, magical and non-magical the governments of the areas with-which the magical plants grew declared a massive wipe-out of the species. From fire spells to slicing incantations the targeted species were removed and declared by herbologists as “extinct”, or so they thought.

Y/N was a young woman in her early twenties, she has Y/H/L, Y/H/C, hair and Y/E/C eyes, she attended Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft And Wizardry and had an affinity for the care and conservation of magical plants. While at Hogwarts Y/N spent the majority of her time in the herbology classroom, she was top of her class in herbology and often joked at for being a “teacher’s pet.” Y/N of course didn’t mind what the others thought of her, when she was surrounded by her plants she was content. Early in her first year at Hogwarts Y/N had an interesting conversation with the newest herbology professor, a young man by the name of Herbert Beery.

“And so by the decree of the Confederation Of Wizards many many rare species where wiped out, never to be seen again.”

“Why did they have to kill all those plants Professor?”

“It is said they did it to protect all life.”

“But they’re just innocent plants, they couldn’t do any harm. It was all the bad witches and wizards that used them.”

“I know Y/N, and I agree with you, it was foolish to destroy so many rare and phenomenal species, we should have studied them instead.”

“I wish I could study those rare plants, I’d take good care of them and never use them for evil!”

“I am sure you would Y/N”

Professor Beery paused for a moment before standing and crossing over to his bookshelf, his eyes scanned the old spines in search of something Y/N wasn’t quite sure of. “Ahh” He pulled out a large, leather covered book, thick with dust. Beery placed the book in front of Y/N and began to flip through the ancient pages.

“It is said that an unknown herbologist tracked down each targeted species of plant, recorded their location and collected a sample, to preserve them, here, look.” He stopped on a yellowed page with a crude image, drawn by hand of the map of the world, in various locations across the globe were dots, each dot had scribbles of an unknown plant name beside it.

Y/N gasped, her eyes widened as she traced her hand across the pages.

“Is the story true?”

“It’s only a legend Y/N, but, I believe that somewhere out there, these species still exist in secrecy.”

Y/N looked up at her professor her young eyes gleaming with inspiration. “I’ll find them professor! I’ll become the greatest herbologist the wizarding world has ever known!”

Beery chuckled and handed Y/N the book. “You may keep this then, it appears you’re going to need it.”

From that moment on Y/N dedicated her life to the study and keeping of magical plants, but studying could only get her so far. Much to the dismay of her parents Y/N left Hogwarts half-way through her sixth year in order to travel the globe. From the deserts of western North America to the mountain of Asia Y/N would see it all, with only her wand, an old map and a briefcase enchanted with an extension charm Y/N began her quest to recover the supposedly long-lost species, to educate her fellow wizards and witches on why the preservation of these species is important and to become “The greatest herbologist the wizarding world has ever known.” As the years passed Y/N’s collection of rare and mythological plants grew, but just as her collection grew so did the impending threat of war between muggles and wizard-kind. “I must continue my research.” Y/N thought to herself as she gazed out at the blanket of fog that covered the New York bay. The sudden movement of her fellow passengers shook Y/N out of her trance, she quickly stood, grabbed her case and stepped out onto the docks of New York. “Formatogoria, here I come.” Y/N muttered under her breath.


The enemy of your enemy, right?

When The Sun Goes Down [4-Final Part] (Dean/Reader, vampire!reader, soulmate!au)

When the Sun Goes Down (iv)

Dean/(female) Reader

Summary: In which you are hunted, but Dean can’t kill you because the universe couldn’t care less about your feelings. Features vampire!reader, hunter!Dean and Sam (as in canon). Also, Gordon Walker.

a/n: Last part. I am very tired, and also very happy.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Originally posted by deangifsdaily

You are reminded too soon that they are hunters, and you are a vampire.

Months have passed and as soon as you’re back on your feet, you work and you work and you work, because that’s all you can do. You are a good person.

You just wish that you didn’t have to keep proving it.

Keep reading

Wrong Use Newt X Female Reader. Soulmate AU

Wrong Case Newt X Female Reader. Soulmate AU

Chapter One:

Chater Two:

Chapter Three:

Notes: This is a fic from my own mind, the reader is a herbologist who is growing illegal plants secretly to keep them from going extinct, she, much like Newt, carries a case with an extension charm that allows her to have her own green house, she travels to New York to find a rare species of flower when her and Newt bump into each other and accidentally switch cases. I won’t explain everything you’ll just have to read it to find out! Hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of the characters or anything from the Harry Potter universe, all credit goes to J.K Rowling of course! This is merely a fan fiction.

Chapter Four: Wrong Case

Newt’s POV

Newt’s first day in America had been anything but normal, not that he knew what to expect exactly as this was his first trip to the United States. But to swap cases with a muggle, nearly be arrested and lose who knows how many creatures in the city was not on his agenda. Tina had taken Newt and the Muggle known as Jacob back to her apartment where she lived with her sister, Queenie. 

Jacob fell for Queenie almost instantly and Newt thought it was almost astounding how quickly they had gotten along, he had been taught about soulmates when he was a young boy. When two people who were soulmates met they’d feel a strong bond they couldn’t explain, and when they actually fell in love that bond would grow, it was said that soulmate’s hearts beat in sync and occasionally if their bond was strong, it is reported that two soulmates could actually “dream jump.” Dream jumping was a rare phenomenon in which two soulmates dream together, they could be sleeping inches apart or separated by an ocean if their bond was strong they could both meet in the garden of dreams. This, of course, was very rare and some believed to be a myth. Newt had always known about soulmates but believed that he didn’t have one. After his account with Leta in Hogwarts Newt had decided to give up on the prospect of soulmates and focus strictly on his research. Still, he could tell that these emotions Jacob was having for Queenie were stronger than your average crush. He couldn’ t help but feel bad for the two as he knew very well that Jacob would have to be obliviated at some point. He decided to stay quiet on the matter however, his only objective now was to get out of here and find all his lost creatures.

 After supper with Tina and Queenie, Newt and Jacob had retreated to their room the sisters had set up for them for the night, the two had climbed into the small beds, Newt lay on his side wrapped in his blanket as Jacob read by the desk light. Eventually, Tina entered the room in her pajamas holding two steaming mugs. “I thought you might like a hot drink?” Newt didn’t reply as Tina placed the mug on the table next to him. “Hey Mr.Scamander, look Cocoa!” Jacob said from across the room. “The toilets down the hall to the right..” Tina exited the room, “Thanks…” Jacob began as he peered through the door, catching a quick glimpse of Queenie, “Very much.” The door shut and Newt hopped out of his bed almost immediately. Grabbing his case he placed it on the floor and quickly unlatched it, pulling open the lid Newt climbed down into the case, pausing halfway down the ladder and calling to Jacob to follow him. Sitting up in sheer surprise Jacob reluctantly followed Newt down into the case, getting stuck and eventually tumbling down the ladder as the case snapped shut. Jacob got to his feet and looked around to find Newt staring ahead in complete shock.

 The case was nothing at all like how Jacob would have expected, it was quite bigger on the inside, in fact, there were several rooms each with clear walls. Tables filled the empty spaces creating narrow halls, each table covered in pots and jars filled with various plants. Ivy looking plants climbed the walls and above was a seemingly endless space that extended nearly fifty feet. Overhead were floating islands each with a tree rooted on top. Jacob looked around in amazement, he studied the plants on the nearest table and watched as they moved in sentience. Some even made tiny noises. Down on the ground, a herd of leaping toadstools made their way around their feet followed by tiny walking grass-like plants. The plants climbed up a table and burrowed safely into a pot labeled “Momwraths.” A grin traced Jacob’s face from ear to ear but that grin fell as his eyes landed on Newt who had been frozen for minutes. The man stood facing the inside of the case, his head turned slightly and his jaw hung agape. “Hey uh, where are all of your creatures?” Jacob asked as he approached Newt. 

“This isn’t my case.” Newt mumbled, still frozen.                                                “What?” Jacob asked.  Newt turned to face Jacob his eye wide in surprise. “This isn’t my case, this is the wrong case.” “Whoa-ho hey what do you mean this is the wrong case? How many wizards go around carrying magical creatures in brief cases?” “I-I’m not sure how this happened.” Suddenly Jacob’s knees buckled. Newt caught him and had him sit down, inspecting his neck he nodded, “Yep that’s definitely the Murtlap, you must be particularly susceptible.” Newt began to scan the room, “Ah.” He walked over to a table with herbs he recognized and began to pick some leaves, “See you’re a muggle so our physiologies are subtly different.” He grabbed a mortar and pestle and crushed the herbs together, rolling them in his palm he poured a Jacob a cup of water from a watering can. He turned and approached Jacob, “Stay still.” He ordered as he rubbed the substance on the bite wound on his neck. He turned back to the table and pulled two pills out of his pocket, he handed the medicine and water to Jacob, “That should stop the sweating and one of those should sort the twitch.” Jacob looked at the pills with uncertainty. “Take that.” Newt repeated, Jacob shrugged and swallowed the medicine, grimacing at the taste of the water. “So, “ Jacob began. “If this isn’t your case then, where is your case and, whose case is this?” Jacob gestured around him. Newt furrowed his brows in thought, trying to recall the events of the day, suddenly it hit him. “It must have been that girl.” Newt turned towards Jacob, “You wouldn’t remember because you were on the verge of passing out but whilst Miss.Goldstein and I were walking you out of your apartment there was this girl, I recognized her from earlier today when we were- uh, never mind, but she was nearly run over by a car and I pulled her out of the way, Y/N her name was.” Jacob looked at Newt in surprise, “You saved her life?” “Well, I um, I suppose so. However she had a case identical to my own, I suspect they were switched in the encounter.” “Well great! We just need to find this lady and switch them back.” “Yes but that’s the problem, I don’t really know who she is, where she is, or how I’d find her.” “Would you recognize her if we saw her?” Jacob asked. “I believe so,” Newt trailed off, “It’s strange really, I recognized her from earlier that day, in fact I believe I had seen her several times, it’s not just her face that seems familiar, it’s almost as if I know her, as if I’ve always known her, I feel this, this warmth around her.” Newt could feel his face blush as he looked up to see Jacob grinning at him. “So what you’re saying is… she’s your soulmate?” Newt blushed furiously as he let out a nervous laugh, “What? No, that’s not possible.” “I don’t know pal, you seem to be pretty smitten with this mystery girl. I mean come on, she’s in New York, she happens to have a case just like yours only, with plants? She must be a witch, and a- what, a botanist?” “A herbologist, actually, in the wizarding world they’re called herbologists, but that’s beside the point, soulmate or not   it’ s imperative that I get my case back, I just hope she hasn’t opened it yet.”

Y/N sat on the dusty floor of the abandoned apartment building, the light of the moon illuminating the otherwise empty room. Beside her was a brief case she had latched shut and placed a heavy brick on top of. Y/N pulled her knees to her chest and sat in silence, trying to recall what happened earlier. Her mind trailed back to the strange man she had followed, how he had saved her from nearly being run over, how she managed to get lost in his deep green eyes. The moment they touched she could feel her heart pound in her chest, it began to slow and beat steadily as if keeping time, in fact, it hadn’t stopped yet. Y/N suddenly remembered, she had dropped her case next to his, she was so flustered by what had happened she grabbed the closest case and assumed it was her own. Putting her head in her hands Y/N let out a sigh, “Merlin’s beard.” She stood up and brushed the dirt off her skirt, pacing back and forth the sound of her footsteps echoed in the empty building, Y/N walked over to the window and stared out at the city. “My plants are out there somewhere.” She thought to herself, “I don’t know who that man is but if he opened my case.” She shuddered at the thought. “I am the only one who knows how to properly care for those plants if he goes exploring he’s as good as dead.” Y/N mind pictured the man wandering her case, she imaged her fanged geranium, her venomous tentacula, her devils snare, the spiky prickly plants shooting their spikes and her snarfgaluff, the flesh eating tree. She knew that any random witch or wizard could mishandle one of those plants and end up losing a finger, or worse. Y/N shook the thoughts from her head, “I guess my only hope is to find him.” Y/N thought. Looking out at the city it seemed almost impossible to track down one person amongst thousands. Still, Y/N was hopeful, for reasons she couldn’t explain she felt drawn to this man as if they were connected somehow, she felt a warmth around him like she’s known him her whole life. Y/N, of course, know what this meant but refused to even consider the possibility of a soulmate, she decided long ago that love was not going to be a part of her life, if she really was to be the world’s greatest herbologist, she couldn’t afford to have her heart broken, not again. Knowing it would be best to get some rest and begin her search in the morning, Y/N felt a tug in her chest that caused her to, against better judgment, pick up the case and leave the abandoned building. 

Walking the streets of New York on a cold winter’s night was not on Y/N’s schedule, still, she followed that tug in her side, a tug which lead her straight to Central Park. A gentle snow began to cover the frosted grass in a blanket of white, admiring the beauty around her Y/N closed her eyes and allowed herself to spin gently on the ice beneath her feet. The gentle scraping sound of her heels on the frozen lake was calming, suddenly the tug in her chest grew stronger, causing her to turned around completely. Y/N opened her eyes and gasped as she saw across the pond, standing by a tree were two men, one she recognized as a muggle from earlier and the other, was the strange man who had saved her life, she recalled his name to be Newt. Y/N’s lips parted slightly as her heart pounded in her ears, the beat growing stronger now as Newt slowly approached her, she began to walk towards him, her heartbeat echoing with each step she took. The beat was so powerful she could feel it shake the ice below, almost as if it was his heart beating with hers. They were now feet apart, meeting in the very center of the frozen lake Y/N was inches away from the man, she looked up into his emerald eyes and felt a warm calm overwhelm her. Neither of them spoke, what seemed like hours passed as the two stared into each other’s eyes before Y/N opened her mouth to say…

Ahhhh cliff hanger!! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I hope I’ll have time to post another one soon!! I am really enjoying this story so far! ALSO!!! This is an imagine blog, this blog runs on requests so check out my rules and fandom lists and send in requests! I do story requests, imagines, head cannons, who do you ship me with stuff, it’s all explained in the rules box, so feel free to request stuff! 

Tag list: @Fandom-planet-lover
Trading In the Silence

A/N: This was requested by an anon. It is the first part in my Spencer x Reader Trading In the Silence series. I hope you like it! :)

Here is the (second part), (third part), (fourth part), and (fifth part)

You probably should not have opened the door. You knew that the FBI were in town and the correlation between two strangers and their appearance were probably closely related. Maybe that was exactly why you did open up the door, because of that unconscious acknowledgement that they were the FBI. The FBI could probably get you out of this hell hole. Away from your mother and the misery and pain that she caused in your life.

Your mother was holed up in the living room, taking a nap on the couch and snoring loudly, when the door bell of your dark house rang loudly. The shrill ring made you jump. You are always on alert, ready for somebody to suddenly snap. You checked on mother, sneaking into the living room to make sure that she was asleep before answering the door.

You swung it open to reveal two men, holding their badges out to you. One of the men was older and dressed in a nice, italian, work suit. The other man was taller than the first. He was much younger, too. He couldn’t be any older than in his late twenties. I also could not help but notice that he was good looking, really good looking, with his floppy golden locks of hair falling around his face and his cute sweater, and dazzling, polite smile.

The two men introduced themselves to you. The older man was SSA David Rossi and the younger man was Dr. Spencer Reid of the Behavioral Analysis Unit. A doctor, huh? He looked much too young to be a doctor. If he was a doctor at his age, then he was definitely smart and able. Maybe he really could get you out of this shambles of a place that I am forced to call home.

“I am y/n y/l/n. Is there anything I can do to help you?” you said politely

You could feel them taking in your unconventional appearance. Your long y/h/c, flowing down your shoulders and hiding the top of your too big, baggy black sweatshirt that you always wore. It covered the bruises. The knees of you pants were worn down so much that they had been patched at least a dozen times. Your socks were both riddled with holes. You pulled your sweatshirt close to you, hugging yourself tightly, and crossing your arms.

“We were wondering if we could have a talk with you about an investigation. May we come in?” Agent Rossi asked

I hesitated. Oh, how I wanted to let them in. Mother would be furious and they would see and they would maybe even take me away. But I could not do that. What if they could not get me away? “I’m sorry, agents. I do not think that I can let you in at this time. My mother is asleep and I would rather not wake her.”

The two agents shared a glance with each other. I tried to ignore it but I knew that it was going to lead to something. “If that is all, agents, I really need to get back inside. I have things to do.” I started to shut the door, almost disappointed that nothing more could have happened. It was a long shot, the FBI agents able to save me. Nobody was able to save me. But then Dr. Reid stopped the door from closing shut. He put his foot in front of the door. You opened the door back up and masked your sudden surge of hope with an annoyed glare in their direction.

The young doctor turned to his fellow agent and sniffed the air theatrically, almost mockingly. “Do I smell what I think I smell, Rossi?” he said. Rossi shrugged. “I think I smell Marijuana. You know that plant over there could very possibly be a hemp plant. Y/n, I think we are going to have to take you in.”

You were shocked that they had played that card. It was technically illegal for them to do. They needed a reason to apprehend you and if they pretended that you actually had possession of pot, they could do just that. To the average, under-educated citizen, this would seem like a perfectly legal move. The feds think that you are growing illegal pot? Why of course they can arrest you. But, you are no average, under-educated citizen. You had always been advanced and exceedingly intelligent. Growing up, you did not have many friends, your parents made you stay indoors, and you never had electronics or games to keep you entertained. Therefore, you studied a lot. You studied anything and everything and when you finished, you were reread it. So, yeah, you knew that what the handsome doctor and his partner were doing was illegal, but they did not know that you knew.

You put on a shocked face, feigning dismay. “That isn’t pot! That is just a normal plant!” you spoke loudly to the two men, exaggerating your words.

“M'am, we have to take you to the station. I am sorry. Protocol.” Agent Rossi said with a shrug. “Do you need to be cuffed or will you come willingly?”

You yanked away from them and started toward their car parked in the street. “No need to restrain me. I won’t fight back.” You climbed into the back seat of the black SUV as the two men got into the two front seats. They drove back to the station in silence.

When you arrived at the police station, you were lead into an interrogation room and you were left to sit alone for nearly an hour until Spencer walked into the room. You had not said a single word since  you arrived. You  had a long hour to think about what you were going to do. You knew that these guys were experts on behavior, hence the name Behavioral Analysis Unit, so you decided not to give them any intimation to anything that you knew that they did not already know.

Spencer sat down in the chair across from you. You did not move a muscle. You did not flit your eyes to his when he began to speak. You stared straight ahead, unblinking. Consequently, when you stared straight ahead your view was entirely of Spencer’s chest. Still, you did not stir. Then, Spencer began to talk.

“So, y/n, I hear from your neighbors that you are something of a black sheep.” he glanced down at the file on the table “You know, one of  your neighbors even described you as the Devil’s Child. I am going to assume that they were not talking about your mother on that account.” he stopped and looked down at his file again.

He was dead wrong about her mother. He may have been right about the neighbor not call Mother the Devil but, that does not mean that you think she does not hold a close resemblance, with her tyrannical ways of punishment to cure her “insubordination” problems. Mother was definitely not a very far throw from the Devil.

You continued looking straight ahead, refusing to speak and disrupt your marathon of silence. “Y/n, did you know that every single neighbor that we asked about suspected citizens in the area mentioned you. Now, a couple of people being suspicious of somebody, I get, but every single person that we interviewed mentioned you. I don’t think that is a coincidence.”

Yeah, well it was. Those naive little pinheads knew nothing. They were all morons. None of them were intelligent enough to realize that she was not the real threat to their precious little community, Mother was.

Spencer waited for you to respond but you did nothing. You stared ahead at nothing. You closed yourself off from all noises, it was nothing but you and your mind. There would be no reaction from you at all. You had trained yourself how to do this over years of mistreatment from Mother. She would yell and scream at you and expect you to not react in any way shape or form. If you so much as clenched your jaw at her obnoxious screeching, she would slap you, again and again until you could not even feel your jaw anymore. Now you knew precisely how to not react. You knew how to hide your thoughts and your feelings. Your behavior would not give you away.

Spencer decided to move onto his next tactic. He pulled out several crime scene photos. There was half a dozen of them. By know, he understood that if he were to place them on the table in front of you, you would not so much a glance at them. So he held them up, directly in front of your face, almost so close that you flinched. But you did not flinch for you knew better.

The pictures that the agent showed you were eerily familiar. The knees of the pants that the victims wore were worn down. Their socks were torn nearly to shreds. The worst part was their faces, caked in their own blood that had once oozed from deep wounds and scratches in the skin from being slapped and beaten over and over again. You knew how that felt. Still, you sat unflinching.

Spencer sat directly across from you, mirroring your silence. He scrutinized you for an inkling of behavior but you gave him nothing. You stayed resolute. He rose from his seat and left the room. The genius called the team’s technical analyst, Penelope Garcia, who quickly printed a copy of your rap sheet. He thanked the woman and grabbed the papers that he needed for your interrogation. He read through your record as he walked back into the interrogation room that you resided in.

Spencer threw the file onto the table and plopped down into the chair adjacent to yours. “Did you know that you have a criminal record, y/n?” he said matter-of-factly, not expecting you to respond to his mock question and to continue with the silence you had been using for the entire night.

But you answered him, “Yes, I knew that. I was in for shoplifting twice and trespassing once.” then you resumed your silent streak.

“Tell me, y/n. Why did you answer that question but not the others?” he asked. He was met with silence from you. You answered his first question because he had obviously known the answer. He had not already known the answer to any other question he had asked, and some things that he asked were not even technically questions.

Being the genius that he is, he quickly deduced the difference between the question that you actually answered and the ones that were met with silence. You were detained for two more days, three days in total. Spencer and you had developed a sort of dance. He was the only human being that you had any contact with for all three of the days. They kept you isolated because you were the lead suspect in a federal crime. Spencer always tried to get you to trip and speak more than you wanted to or even do something as simple as clear your throat, to do something that would reveal more about your behavior. But you were unyielding.

Finally, on the last day, Spencer waltzed into the interrogation room and said, “In exactly 35 minutes, we are obligated by law to let you go. If there is anything you want to say, I recommend saying it now.”

You almost did not say anything. Afterall, it did not follow your silence rule. But then you panicked by the idea of hope. It surged through you like a rocket, just as it had the day that the two mysterious strangers had shown up at your door step. You contemplated what  you were going to do, tell everything you knew, which was a lot, or stay silent and protect Mother. Spencer sighed, growing impatient, and finally gave up. He turned to leave the room and you shouted his name after him.

“Wait! Agent Reid!” you had shouted at the man

And then you told him everything.  You told him how you had been beaten mercilessly by your mother ever since you were barely able to walk. You told him, in detail, of all the awful things that she had ever done to you. You told him that you believed she was behind the heinous murders because the pain that had been inflicted upon those victims had frequently been exacted on to you as well. It was your mother’s preferred method of torture.

By the time, you finished basically retelling your life story to Reid, it was hours past your three days. You were proven innocent and your mother was proven guilty. You somehow felt both elated and pitiful. You had just turned in the woman who had drilled thoughts of misery into your mind for more than twenty years.

You went with Agents Reid and Rossi back to your home. It was where you had lived for your entire life and you were exultant that you would finally be able to move far, far away from the torturous memories.

The three of you climbed out of the car together and you walked up to your front door, Reid and Rossi taking the lead as you stood behind the two of them. They rang the door bell. You heard the familiar repugnant voice of Mother shout sharply from within. You stood straight as a statue where you stood, unwavering. She soon came to the door.

“What do you want?” she barked, her unsavory voice stabbing you from the inside out, anger rising from within. But you were well trained, you stood still despite the burning anger for the woman. You focused on your victory, twenty years late but here nonetheless.

“Ms. y/l/n, you are under arrest.” Reid said, swiftly standing behind your Mother and cuffing her before she could refuse. He read the woman her rights. She shouted out pleas of help. She begged you to get her out of the mess that she got herself in. You stood stone still and looked her straight in the eye.

Reid handed your mother off to Rossi, who lead the woman, shouting disreputable slurs as she walked. Rossi squeezed her cuffs on extra tight as she restrained against them. He managed to get her into the SUV. Then he drove away, leaving you alone with Spencer. You turned to him and the two of you stood for a long moment, remembering the long hours of silence.

Finally, you reached your hand out to his. He stared at it for a moment, before reaching out and shaking your hand enthusiastically.

“Thank you, Agent.” You said. You really were grateful. This man had given you a life. He had given you a chance. Now you were going to trade in the fearful silence, for the life that you had always only dreamt about.

He smiled and you were reminded again of how good looking he actually was, lanky and awkward in a graceful and beautiful way. “Anytime, y/n.” he said “Anytime.”

scurvywords  asked:

Write about a world where it's illegal to grow plants

The call came at 3:42 AM. I was wide awake, tending to my crop. I always got potential buyers this time of day. It all depended on the strain they wanted. 

“Psst,” said the scared, hushed voice on the other line. “I heard ya got the good shit.”

“Depends,” I mumbled. “Whacha after?”

“I’m lookin’ for some…” he trailed off. Maybe someone had walked by. “Some reddies, if ya got them. Redlamp, you know?”

“Yeah, yeah, I know….where you at?” 

“Meet me at the telephone booth at Main and Tenn. I’ll pay in cash, I promise.”

“I don’t accept anything but.” I hung up. I stood up, taking one more cursory look over my stash. Every since the government cracked down hard on people who liked to do a bit of DIY farming, people found it hard to get what they needed. That’s where people like me, who don’t give a damn about the law, come in. I pulled a ziplock bag out of my pocket, and got fifteen of the reddies ready. 

When I went to the aforementioned phone booth, I couldn’t see the guy at all. I considered calling him back, but even that felt a little too risky. Everyone knew what happened to dealers. 

Eventually, the disheveled man came out of the shadows. “Hey,” he whispered. “You got what I wanted?” 

“Yeah, here.” I held the ziploc up. 

He almost tripped over his own feet scampering towards me. Forty bucks, a solid triple what I was going to ask for, flew towards me. I didn’t bother giving him change, and he didn’t ask for it. I wasn’t even half-way across the block when I heard him moan in ecstasy. It was a familiar sound.

It was the sound of someone who has just eaten his first  strawberry in years. 


So, I got orchids for my birthday, as in a live plant, not dead ones. So I went on a bender, looking up a bunch of info on orchids.

About: The world has an estimated twenty-five thousand kinds of orchids. Costa Rica has one thousand five hundred species. The United States has seventy. The far northern nation of Greenland has four. Some of the plants are found above the Arctic Circle. Not all orchids grow from the ground. Some are “air plants” that grow on trees. Unlike parasites, however, they do not rob the trees of nutrition. It is illegal to collect orchids growing in nature. But poachers often do so. And orchids reproduce with difficulty. They depend on birds, bees or insects to spread their pollen to another orchid flower.

How to Grow: Orchids need bright, indirect light, lots of water, gentle air movement, high humidity, fertilizer, and moderate temperatures. If you plants leaves turn yellow, it could have spidermites. Wipe it down with a cotton swab soaked in rubbing alcohol, then rinse it in clean water. Some orchids need a certain amount of darkness at night in order to complete the chemical processes which allow them to flower again.

Medicinal Uses: Used to treat upset stomachs, convulsions, and migraines apparently (I’ll have to try this one). Unfortunately, there isn’t any hard science to back this up, it’s all unproven folk medicine, mostly originating from Asia.

Magical Uses: Used for love spells of just about every kind, Removing Curses, Psychic Abilities, Wish Magic, and Fertility. Associated with Air.


Hemp for Victory during World War II,

Grown and harvested for thousands of years, hemp has numerous industrial uses which benefit mankind.  However, in the United States hemp is illegal due to it being a cannabis plant, and its legality is also in question in many other countries.  Its important to note that hemp only contains minute amounts of THC, its cannot be used as a drug like marijuana.  However due to zero tolerance laws, even trace amounts of THC make hemp illegal to grow in the US. 

The banning of hemp began in 1937 with the Marihuana Tax Act.  It is often theorized that hemp was included in the law in order to destroy the hemp industry, which threatened DuPont’s business of manufacturing artificial materials.  The prohibition of hemp was short lived, it would take a world war to bring about the resurgence of the American hemp industry.  With America’s entry into World War II, there was an exploding demand for raw materials and industrial goods.  This included hemp, which during World War II was used to produce rope, canvas, and uniforms, all necessary items for the war effort. 

Whereas once there was hemp was illegal, within the blink of an eye the US Government was issuing thousands of licenses to grow it.  Various propaganda campaigns were instituted to convince farmers to grow hemp nationwide.  Many of these former hemp farmers had been driven out of business, fined, and even imprisoned a mere handful of years ago when was initially banned.  One of the most famous pieces of propaganda from the hemp campaign was a film entitled, “Hemp for Victory”, which extoled the virtues of the hemp plant and hemp growers.  It was a complete 180 degree departure from the 1930’s when the government issued propaganda demonizing hemp and hemp growers.

During World War II 350,000 acres of hemp were cultivated.  As soon as World War II ended, the US Government made another 180 degree policy turn, once again demonizing hemp and crafting regulations which made it de facto illegal.  In 1970, it was made illegal to grow in the US with the passage of the Controlled Substances Act.  Today hemp is still illegal to grow hemp in the United States according to Federal Law, and even small countries such as Serbia produce more hemp than the US.  However, hemp is legal to import into the country, and quizzically the United States is the largest consumer of hemp in the world.

Book Review: “Bloodline” by Claudia Gray

Hi there!=)

Since I’m one of the lucky ones that got to read Bloodline one week before the U.S release (in Sweden), I’ve decided to share a few things while doing a proper book review of it. But since that means spoilers, I’ve hidden the rest of the review under the cut. So if you don’t want to be spoiled – stop reading now!

Keep reading

Originally posted by photosofthegubler

Prompt: “Don’t pretend you’re not having fun.”

Character: Spencer Reid (Suggested by anon)

Warning: Don’t do illegal shit, kids. 

Growing up with Spencer Reid was one of those things where he was the overly law abiding citizen who knew better and you were the less strictly moral led friend who dragged him into things he probably shouldn’t be doing. Being in High School with Spencer Reid meant you dragged him out and about to do things he probably shouldn’t be doing…like hopping over fences into private land and trespassing to sit on the roof of an abandoned building to drink and watch the stars…because that really wasn’t legal and you guys could get caught even if you never had before…but you always managed to drag him out every time and he let you.

“I’m pretty sure this is illegal…we shouldn’t be here, Y/N” You rolled your eyes at your friend taking a swig from the cheap can of beer that you’d managed to scrounge. He always did this, complained and worried and yet you knew he was having fun or else he wouldn’t be here. Rarely could you get Spencer Reid to do anything he didn’t want to do, even if he pretended he disliked trespassing.

“Lighten up, Reid, it’s fine!”

“But-” You cut him off, clapping him on the shoulder, “Don’t pretend you’re not having fun.” Because you knew he was and he knew he was and you both knew you wouldn’t get caught because no one ever came here and no one ever would…and besides worst that would happen would be to be dragged back to your houses by a cop.

“Enjoy yourself for once.” 

Apparently it's easier to find out how to grow magic mushrooms than legal ones

I have been trying to figure out how I can grow ANY kind of mushrooms in a yard or anywhere else outside. I don’t want to eat them, just look at them, so it doesn’t matter what kind. No one seems to know how I can do that. But if someone wanted to grow illegal, hallucinogenic mushrooms that will land you in federal prison, well, they have all sorts of ways and equipment and stuff you can buy online to do that.
Why do I live in such a goofy, upside down and backward society, where it’s easier to find out how to do illegal things than legal ones?
But I am trying to discover on my own how to do legal stuff in spite of this goofy society.
And I figure if I get different kinds of mushrooms and put them in a blender with water to suspend the spores, and I add some kind of carbohydrate to feed the spores, and add a little food oil to also feed the spores, and then blend all that together, and then mix it into a mixture of wood chips and cow manure sitting in a pile on the ground, then, surely at least one of the kinds of mushrooms will like it and I will get something growing.
In theory…
But there is also the possibility the ground up mushrooms will either digest each other or be too busy competing with each other to actually be able to grow.
I guess I am hoping one kind will grow initially and use up what it needs but set the stage for the next one to grow in what’s left.
So far here are the kinds of mushrooms I have chopped up or blended and dumped in the pile: white button, brown button, shiitake, enoki, white oyster, brown beech, yellow oyster, king mushroom, seafood mushroom, grey oyster, and wood ear.
My carbohydrates have been diet coke, diet pepsi, corn syrup, sugar, soy flour, and different seeds. The food oil has been palm oil and canola oil. And composted hardwood chips and composted cow manure.
Nope, you will have to stop salivating now…
What I am hoping will happen is the button mushrooms will grow in the manure and sprout up while meanwhile digesting the wood chips a little, and the oyster mushrooms will like the wood chips and sprout out of that while doing something that will let the rest grow later and then sprout. I don’t know what the others do to manure or wood chips but maybe they will grow later.
I don’t see anything anywhere about any mushroom liking food oil. But maybe it will hold the spores in or something.

A DEA officer stopped at our farm yesterday...

“I need to inspect your farm for illegal growing of drugs.”

I said, “Okay, but don’t go into that field over there…..”

The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, “Mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!” Reaching into his rear pants pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and shoved it in my face. “See this fucking badge?! This badge means I’m allowed to go wherever I wish… On any land! No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear?! Do you understand?!”

I nodded politely, apologized and went about my chores. A short time later, I heard screaming, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life being chased by my big, old, mean bull… With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he sure enough would get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified.

I threw down my tools, ran for the fence, and yelled at the top of my lungs…

“Your badge! Show him your fucking BADGE!!”

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