Sometimes, when you’re chronically ill, you have to do things that seem “selfish.” You can’t do favors for anyone else because you don’t have the energy. You have to take that last seat on the subway instead of leaving it for someone else. You might have to apply for public assistance because you can’t work anymore. You’ll definitely have to ask the people around you for a lot more help than you used to need.
That’s all OK. You shouldn’t feel guilty about any of it. You’re not selfish, you’re sick.
Like full offence but wtf did we do to deserve anything and everything that Rick Riordan ever wrote???
Not only does it encourage kids to learn about mythologies and shit and other cultures (which children in specifically America definitely need more of) The amount of representation in his books is crazy and amazing. I mean he’s got gays, mental illness, disabilities, gender fluid characters, and a whole host of healthy platonic and romantic relationships that as a kid reading fantasy books I didn’t see a lot of.
I mean every romance mainsub-plot that was in a fantasy YA novel was like “girl meets boy, girl hates boy, boy is hot, boy doesn’t respect girls boundaries, then girl falls for boy” it was creepy and was waaay too normal. Then Rick comes in with healthy relationships and a variety of not only romantic but also platonic ones. it’s amazing.
That’s not even me starting on the character diversity. IT’S FANTASTIC. Oh my gods I could go on and on about it, but the whole deal with Nico and his coming out and the inner turmoil he faced, it was so real and I related with it way too much and it helped me get through shit in my life.
TD;LR Rick Riordan is amazing and anything and everything he’s written should be read and loved because it’s amazing. Thanks for coming to my TEDtalk
One thing about chronic illnesses that people really don’t seem to understand is that rest doesn’t make it better, at best it can slow down how bad you feel at that time or help it feel a bit more bearable but it’ll get worse if it wants to whether you’re resting or not
Sometimes you’ll be forced to rest because you can’t do anything else, but that doesn’t mean resting makes it better. When you’re chronically ill, you don’t get better, and rest definitely doesn’t leave you feeling refreshed and full of energy
If your whole body hurts and it’s painful to move then you have to rest but it’s horrible doing that the whole time, I know you’re supposed to rest when you’re sick but actually a lot of spoonies I’ve talked to hate it and would love to be able to be more active but we can’t - the last thing we want to do is spend more time at home in bed on our own
Resting doesn’t make anything better for me, it just helps to stop it being worse - everything can still hurt if I don’t do anything and I’d be happier if I could go out, even if that would hurt much more
~ planets in the houses show what energies you emit in those areas of your life eg: venus in 6th can make someone seem very harmonious, diplomatic, and especially beautiful in their work environment and might pursue careers that involve creative and/or aesthetic expression
~ draconic charts are what you develop into after reaching your north node’s lessons, it’s how your north node effects you and how you react and change yourself through it’s lessons!
~ vedic (sidereel) is more accurate for predictions! tropical is more accurate at how the energies around you at birth have helped you grow to become who you are! and draconic is next which I already explained above!
~ uranus is erratic, it shows the sudden ups and downs you might experience, especially in progressed charts eg: uranus in the 8th may indicate sudden wealth/inheritance or sudden loss of wealth (probably due to bad money management so be careful)
~ everything in your natal chart CAN BE CHANGED. there are no exceptions to this, your natal chart is what you’ve been given at birth to work with and help you grow, you can utilise this how you want, which is why you should not relate your 6th house to health issues (rather how you approach health) or the 8th to death and money (rather how you deal with it) or the 12th house as mental illness (rather your coping mechanisms!)
~ neptune is your procrastination! usually you idealise what you want with neptune, but you’re too lazy to do it, this is typically the area you’ll hear someone complaining that they don’t have ___ but aren’t making the effort to get it (unless you’re greatly developed then congrats!!)
~ your suns house! definitely influences! your ascendant! aries ascendant with sun in 4th is going to make you a homebody! cancer rising with sun in 5th is going to make you more social and super adorable!
~ uranus is f r e e d o m. in the 6th/10th you’re going to want freedom in jobs and daily activities! in 2nd/4th you’re going to want freedom from comfort and your house!
~ your 7th house and mars is probably the reason you’re attracting so many people with their venus/mars signs in that damn sign!
~ capricorns? serious? you can’t succeed without some level of charm and sociability come on people
Like let me be clear I am 100% sympathetic to the fact that insecurity, mental illness, past trauma etc etc can lead to the urge to do things like go through someone’s phone but as someone who has been a victim of that finding out that it was because of my partner’s insecurity actually did nothing to make me feel less violated or frightened by it. The solution to trust issues is definitely not creating more
Rhodey: Okay fine, but we’re turning it into a Hummer. Corvette’s are completely show-off-y, uselss, mid-life crisis cars. Tony: I’m just going to pretend I didn’t hear that, Honey Bear.
Thank you guys for the prompts and so sorry for the wait! This definitely got a little more intense than my original plan… :P But no regrets! Here is the Sciencelings’ attempt at an (ill-advised) birthday present. They tried
heyy sweetie. can i ask for something cute with connor(detroit: become human), please?:3 maybe a cozy evening or smthn like this.. sorry for my bad english, but i hope u get it babe!!
A/N: Huhuhu I can do fluffy and snug!
“I’m going to s-smack Hank in his f-face when I see him n-next!” You somehow managed to curse the man through your chattering teeth. Whether Connor understood what you had said or not didn’t really matter to you.
Being stuck in the cold wasn’t really Hank’s fault. He was probably stuck in traffic on the way to pick you and Connor up and you weren’t really dressed appropriately. You had forgotten your gloves and beanie and the sleeves of your jacket were too short for you to be able to try and hide them inside. The two of you were also waiting in an area without any stores or buildings you could enter to escape the cold since it was where you were investigating your latest case, so that didn’t help at all.
“I hate this so much!” You whined. “Aren’t you c-cold, Connor?”
He was dressed in his casual wear, but even so he must have been feeling some cold. The android glanced at you and gave you his signature polite smile. “I didn’t like feeling cold so I disabled my sensors.” Connor answered simply. “I’m fine.” You were positive there was a little bit of a smug lilt in his tone.
“Mental health checks for gun ownership” is an amazingly ill thought out concept and liberals need to think about the repercussions of this.
Not only is it demonizing mentally ill people by saying they’re a danger to society, but it’s letting the government pick and choose who gets to have the upper hand when it comes to violence.
They could spread this definition to disarm trans people by saying they are too “unstable” to own a gun, and many LGBT people in general are poor and are more likely to be in situations that lead to a more prevalent amount of mental illness (such as depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc).
They can spread the definition of being “mentally fit enough” to education level if they wanted. This would disarm a lot of poor people, and by extension, a lot of people of color - especially Black people who are so often subject to absolutely police brutality. This would disarm immigrants who fear deportation. If they were in danger, do you really expect them to trust the police to come to their defense?
If you don’t trust this administration with human rights, why would you trust them with gun control? Why would you trust that they wouldn’t just be empowering the people who already perpetrate gun violence? Reconsider your stance on this and who this really ends up affecting.
So. Sansa. I hear some people think she’s not very clever. This is a view shared by several characters in the books.
But there’s no reason the readership should share those views. Sansa is a very clever individual who makes increasingly good use of several skills she started the series with, and develops greatly as an observer and an actor over the course of the story.
Putting everything under a cut, for reasons of four books of brainpower.
Some rarely-mentioned signs that parents are abusive
I see a lot of lists of things that abusive parents do. But some things I have never seen in a list so far and I would like to add them, because according to the other lists, I’ve never experienced abuse from my parents. But just because it doesn’t appear on a standard list doesn’t mean it’s not abuse, so here is an addendum.
I think most of these points are specific for kids who are disabled, mentally ill or neurodivergent, and that this is the reason why they never appear on other lists. But these kids are especially vulnerable to (emotional) abuse, so I made this.
1. Shaming you for your disabilities, mental illness or neurodivergency. This includes undiagnosed conditions. If a parent sees that their child is having problems, they should try to help or, if they can’t, get external help.
It is not okay for parents to shame you for self-harming.
It is not okay for parents to shame you for having meltdowns.
It is not okay for parents to shame or punish you for things you cannot help, no matter how hard it is for them.
Yes, if parents do honestly have no clue what is happening, they might misinterpret your (re)actions. But no later than when they talk with you about it, they should eventually realize that you’re not doing it on purpose. Parents can and should get help from others and/or professionals if it’s too much for them.
2. Shaming you for mistakes. People make mistakes. Inexperienced people make more mistakes. Young people are by definition inexperienced. Especially those of us who are mentally ill, neurodivergent or intellectually disabled, (but really literally everyone) is bound to make mistakes while growing up.
You might not know that there is a difference between cleaning agents and shower gel. You might not know that lotion isn’t good for a potted plant. You might now know that there is a reason why the cat is in that cage. You might think that something is a good and harmless trick but it actually has really bad consequences.
You might not know these things even if everyone else your age does. It’s not your fault.
It’s okay for parents to be angry, disappointed or shocked. It’s not okay for parents to let it out on you. It’s their job to teach you and if they didn’t do it correctly, it’s not your fault.
(For example, I didn’t know that cleaning agents and shower gel are different things until I was 18. As a little child, I was told to stay away from cleaning agents and not to touch them and I was never told otherwise, so I just accepted that until I was taught otherwise by someone else.)
3. Breaking promises. This sounds vague, I know. And I know that sometimes promises can’t be held. Sometimes they are forgotten. Sometimes even parents don’t have the energy to keep up their end of the bargain. It happens.
But if it’s a constant pattern, if you are coerced into doing things you don’t like by promises that will never be held, it’s not okay any more.
4. Threats. It’s one thing to explain to a child or teen the consequences of their actions. It’s okay to explain that you need to study or else you will fail your tests and it’s okay to explain what happens then.
It’s not okay to threaten you with grave consequences for minor failures. It’s not okay to remind you of these consequences every time you do something wrong. It’s not okay to keep threatening you when you are unable to do whatever it is they want you to do.
5. Threatening you with things that should not be threats. It’s not okay to threaten a child or teen with doctor’s appointments, hospitals, psychotherapy or psychiatry. These things are supposed to help. You should not grow up to be afraid of needing a doctor or a therapist.
Seriously, instead of a parent threatening their child with psychiatry, they should just go there and try to get help for the whole family because it’s probably desperately needed.
6. Sudden and unjustified punishments. It’s not okay to suddenly punish you for something that has previously been okay.
If parents are fed up with their children’s behaviour, they should establish rules and explain and justify punishments, and give their children a chance to actually comply (while also considering their children’s abilities).
(For example, as a teen I never helped with housework. I didn’t have the executive functioning and I never got taught how to do it. But suddenly I was punished for not helping with housework.)
7. Unpredictability. It’s not okay to suddenly change the rules without warning.
It’s not okay if it’s “You should go out more often” one day and “No you are not allowed to go out” the next.
Some parents have trouble offering a constant reliability due to their own illness/disability/neurodivergence. It happens.
But the moment it makes you as their child afraid of their reactions, afraid that they might have a sudden change of heart, it’s not okay any more.
8. Assuming bad intentions where there are none. As I already said, people make mistakes. People even make stupid mistakes. People misjudge, miscalculate, people lose their temper. This happens to parents as well as to their children and everyone else.
What is not okay is for parents to see you doing something wrong and immediately assuming you’re doing it to harm them.
(For example, I always stayed up late. My parent had trouble sleeping. When I made too much noise, they assumed it was intentional in order to deny them their sleep.)
9. “I want you to do the thing but I also want you to want to do the thing.” This is a tricky one, but I have heard this from so many people that I’m including it as an extra point. I think it’s actually some sort of double bind, because you can only do it wrong or do it wrong in a different way.
It’s okay for parents to demand their children do things they do not like, for example doing chores, doing homework and similar things. (However, it’s not okay to demand more than you can actually do.)
It’s okay for parents to ask their children to do them a favour, for example sometimes do a little more housework, helping them with other stuff, going to the store and so on.
It’s okay for you to not want to do something. It’s okay to do something even if you don’t want to. Actually, most favours work that way, you rarely ever like them but you do them anyway because you want to do something for someone else. Most chores work that way. Almost nobody likes doing the dishes.
However, it’s not okay to make you feel bad for doing something anyway. If you don’t like doing something, you don’t like it, and nobody has the right to demand you to feel differently about it.
10. Making you feel bad for opening up to them. If you tell a parent about your experiences, your feelings, your problems and your secrets, they should be accepting and loving.
Punishing you for things they would have never known if you hadn’t told them is wrong. Shaming you for things they would have never known if you hadn’t told them is wrong. It’s a parent’s job to offer their child emotional support. It’s wrong for them to show you that you can’t trust them.
Sometimes depression can make it really hard to get anything done. Sometimes it’s hard to get out of bed. Sometimes it’s hard to do anything but binge watch your favorite shows and eat junk food. But if you’re enrolled in classes, sometimes there are just things you have to get done. I have clinical depression and anxiety (I’ve been hospitalized for both a few times and I’ve been to therapists on and off for three years). Something a lot of people don’t know is that procrastination and “laziness” are symptoms of being depressed and anxious (I didn’t know until I was discussing with a friend). Here are some tips that I’ve found helpful in studying.
1. Make to-do lists. It doesn’t have to be a bullet journal, it could just be a notebook. But I’ve found that laying everything that needs to get done out in a visual way helps me a lot.
2. Do as much work as you can when you’re feeling motivated/good. We can never tell when an episode is going to occur. I never know when I’m going to become lazy and stay in bed. No matter how many plans we make, it doesn’t work. So I’ve found that by making the lists and distributing things when they need to get done, I can work ahead if I have extra time when I’m feeling super energized and focused.
3. Have a study buddy. Pair up with someone who will hold you accountable. Me and my high school best friend are starting 100 days of productivity together tomorrow. She doesn’t even go to school anymore, but just having someone who will hold me accountable for doing things will help me in the long run.
4. Discuss things with your professors. At my old school when I was really having problems, I emailed all my professors and met with them to let them know about my situation. They let me come to office hours instead of talking in class for participation points. It was really helpful and they were very understanding. Of course, only do this if you’re comfortable disclosing your diagnosis and with your professors.
5. Take advantage of your school’s programs. I haven’t done this yet, but I plan to this coming semester. Most schools have a counseling and psychological services, so if you’re feeling like you need to talk to someone, do it. You’re paying for these services whether you use them or not. Even if you don’t have a diagnosed mental illness, if you’re feeling overwhelmed or something happens, you can always talk to someone or go to a group meeting.
6. If you like to exercise, do it. Exercising gives you energy and it really does keep you in a better mood.
7. Spend as much time in study areas on campus as possible. I’ve found that I definitely get more work done when I’m on campus (I commute now). Even in the dorm rooms, we get caught up on our phones or with tv. When I’m out in a study environment (library, student center, lounge, etc.), I am less likely to get distracted or lay in bed with no motivation. I do as much work as I can when I’m actually on campus.
8. Drink and eat while you study. Again, you want to keep your focus and keep your energy up, so drink water and eat an energizing snack (like fruit or a granola bar).
9. Keep a planner or calendar. Depression can mess with your memory and your perception of time, so it’s important to keep a planner or calendar that keeps you up to date with assignments. I didn’t start until a few years ago, but it’s helped me a lot. I can’t even remember the number of times when a professor said something like “Okay, your papers are due next class” and I was in total shock.
10. Sleep! Sleep for a set amount of time every day. Even if you’re tired. If you have extra time during the day, take an energy nap, but try not to over sleep or under sleep. I know for me, I tend to stay up really late and then sleep all day. DO NOT DO THIS. Try to keep normal sleeping hours. Oversleeping is just as bad because it takes up all your energy and just makes you tired.
That’s all I can think of for now. I’m sure I’ll think of more and probably make a part two as this semester goes on! Add your own if you have a good one. :)
Just because it wasn’t physical or sexual doesn’t mean it isn’t abuse. Yelling at you, calling you names, consistently caring less about your well being and education, these are things parents commonly do that are not considered abuse in most societies. But it has shown to be harmful to the brain, especially when coming from a romantic partner or a family member.
Don’t justify it because what they did was legal. Legalities in many places say child abuse won’t even be tried by court of law if the child doesn’t have bruises, bleeding and scars, or visible physical wounds. That means being locked in a basement with no food is legal. The laws are often corrupt.
Don’t justify it because they were kind to you most of the time. Most child abuse survivors go through long periods in between the abuse. It’s still mentally damaging and traumatic. Most child abuse survivors suffered abuse due to punishments. Their kind words and actions are the result of them projecting their emotions onto you, similarly to how when they are angry they forget to have empathy for you, and take out their anger on you. That means they have problems with self control or empathy and don’t care enough about your safety, not that you deserve it because you did wrong. Violent punishments are not involved in proper parenting. They should’ve told you you can’t have ice cream tonight if you keep doing that, or explained why your actions were wrong, not hurt you or yelled at you or told you that you were an idiot. That doesn’t make you learn anything except to fear them, and once they leave your life you won’t have anything to motivate you into being functional, so they only do it for the purpose of making you be nice to them in particular because they are selfish.
Don’t love them because they’re your family. The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. Hitler had children, Stalin had a dad.
Don’t excuse it because they were abused or mentally ill. 30% of abusers were previously victims of child abuse, so that definitely doesn’t excuse it. Your safety is more important than their right to use you to normalize their trauma. Mental illness does not mean it doesn’t hurt you. You’re still suffering. You aren’t going to cure them by taking the blows. Their illness will still be there.
When Harry accepted to be his sister’s Maid of Honour, despite how non-traditional of a choice he was, he didn’t think writing a speech for the wedding reception would be this hard. Now, not only does he have less than two weeks left to find something moving and inspirational to say, but Gemma just confided in him that her old childhood best friend is going to be in attendance. The one who moved to LA and they haven’t seen in fifteen years because he was too busy becoming an Academy Awards winner. But hey, no pressure. It’s just Louis Fucking Tomlinson.
“Lou, I bet you are the most bravest boy in the whole town.” Louis can still hear his mama screaming for his daddy, and his arm still really hurts, but something about the way Harry says it makes everything feel a whole lot better.
When Louis is nine years old, he earns himself a cast, three whole weeks grounded from tv (especially Superman), and an addiction to impressing Harry Styles.
“He came every summer. It wasn’t even a question. Harry and his parents—one step, one real—picked up their lives, packed it into a car, and drove long enough to land at the ends of the earth.
"The cabin had been in his family for a hundred years. There was no TV, no phone, no computer, no radio. There were decks of cards and plastic deer and marbles. There were skis and leaves and a tree house.
"And then there was Louis.”
Or, Harry and Louis meet every summer at the lake.