ill words

me: i should do some work tonight so i don’t die tomorrow when I have to get it all finished

*hours pass and nothing gets done*

me: 

She was both an old soul and a free spirit. It was hard to understand her, but oh lord did you want to try.
—  Excerpt of a book I’ll never write #166

Un-Follow Me Now, This Is Gonna Be the Only Thing I Tweet About For The Next Week. Ive Wanted This For Years Fuck. What The Fuck.

that’s how you survive -
getting up and
showing up,
and
beating fear at its own damn game.
—  charleigh aleyna.

Dear Heart,

I apologize for all those nights I stayed soaking up tears into my pillow case for a boy who couldn’t have cared less. For all the times I put you in positions you should not have been put in, which ended up draining every last bit of you. There were choices I solely put you in charge of that you should have had no say in, I realize now how badly that hurt you. Finally, I’m sorry I broke away pieces of you and handed them to friends and lovers who shattered you until you decided to shut completely off. I never wanted you to build those walls, I never meant it. I should have put you first, I should have listened to your every pulse. I realize now that of all the faces I will ever meet, you’ll be the only one I know will be there unconditionally. So, for the first time in my life, it’s time I put you first.

—  A promise to my heart

Mental health awareness month.
Let’s be rid of the stigma.
#dailythought

To put this in more perspective: love and hate sit on opposite ends of the same spectrum.
So yes, love and hate are the same thing. Passion
Reminders for myself:

I am allowed to occupy space. If someone has a problem with me merely existing, that is their problem not mine. That person is the one who needs to work out their emotions. I do not have to make myself small for the comfort of someone else.

I am allowed to recover. Anyone who tears me down for recovering is not someone I want around me. The people I want around me will celebrate my recovery with me.

I am allowed to be comfortable. I do not have to put someone else’s comfort before mine, especially when it comes to my health. I do not have to stay silent when someone makes me feel uncomfortable.

I am allowed to put myself first.