ill try better

anyone else kinda terrified you’ll never be able to hold a job in the future because of your mental illness

please, please, may this lantern light my way towards you, please, please small lantern…light my way towards her lost soul

There was the winter I got worse and worse
and then the spring I tried to get better.
That was the spring I opened my mouth for the first time,
made everything one step more real.
And it’s funny, because
nothing really changed after I told my secret.
The transcendent revelation,
the miraculous healing,
everything I’d imagined-
none of that ever happened.
But I had still taken that step,
I had still proved that I could.
That was the spring I decided to cut my hair,
finally change something in the rigid routine I had built up.
And it’s funny, because
nothing really changed after I chopped off my hair.
It wasn’t like I was chopping off the symptoms,
the controlling fear,
the feeling like you’re trapped.
But now my head is lighter,
I think I look nicer,
and I’ve still proven I can change things.
This is not the spring everything is better,
but it is the spring I am deciding to try.
—  trying // c.r.h.

HI this video was made within a span of an hour or two (thats LOW on what people usually do) i just wanted to make it for No reason and there are many miSTAKES by u know whatever ill try to make better stuff maybe in the future if i am motivated enough!
if u guys want, just tell me to post the pics i made for this if u want ‘em

anonymous asked:

Hey there~ I'd like to request the prompt “I know I’ve kissed you like, ten times, but just like another ten, please.” for Zen and (female) MC pretty please <33


Prompt: I know I’ve kissed you like, ten times, but just like another ten, please

Zen x (Female) MC

(Oooh, this is a cute prompt wow ;u; I’m not good at writing kisses, as we all know at this point, so this may be written not all that great, but ey, it’s always worth a shot! Can’t improve unless I practice! I hope I do this enough justice ^^ Thank you very much for the prompt!

This is shorter than most of the things I’ve posted here, sorry! I just didn’t really know what to write ;u;

Oh, also, I made like maybe one reference to MC actually being female, sorry! I know this request did specifically ask for a female MC but I just tend to not bring up gender in these so it’s not all that prominent ;u;)

Zen cuddles up to you on the sofa, pouting and leaning his head on your shoulder, blinking up at you. You laugh and shift to kiss his forehead, before turning your focus back to the movie you had both been watching.

He rests his head on your shoulder and tries to focus on the movie too, but he just isn’t able to at the moment. He is far too restless, and so he ends up getting up to work out for a bit. This, however, does nothing to adequately tire him out, and he ends up even more restless afterwards. He takes a quick shower, and ends up sitting next to you again, cuddled up close with his head on your shoulder, as if he had never left.

You’re still focused on the TV, and he starts to make this small noise in the back of his throat. It’s almost like a whimper,and it makes you turn to look at him, confused. He’s pouting again, and so you move a hand to under his chin, lifting his face to yours to kiss him quickly.

It doesn’t last long enough though, and he continues to whimper every few minutes, causing you to repeat this action over and over, until you get distracted again by whatever has come on the TV.

You only remember he is there when Zen shifts himself to a sitting position and crosses his arms, clearly huffing, and you end up giggling at him, causing him to look at you with a feigned hurt expression. How could you ever forget about your prince?

“What’s up, sweetheart?” you ask him, still trying to stifle your giggles as he frowns at you, actually looking mildly upset at this point.

“I know I’ve kissed you like, ten times, but just like another ten, please?” he begs, pouting yet again with puppy dog eyes as he looks at you.

“You absolute goofball.”

You lean over to him and immediately he wraps his arms around you, smirking. You peck him lightly on the lips, 5 times, quickly, practically only giving him time to realise you’re kissing before you stop. You wiggle in his grip, giving yourself a bit more free space, and lean your head on his shoulder now.

“Princess, this isn’t fairrr~” he whines, tightening his grip around you again, and you bury your face in his shoulder, smiling against his skin.

You feel him shift, and suddenly he has his hands cupping your face, causing you to look up at him. He leans in and kisses you, soft and slow and sweet, and when he pulls away you know you’re blushing. His triumphant smirk just confirms it.

Zen decides to join in on your little game by now turning his attention to the TV, and you bury your face in his shoulder again, mildly flustered. You slowly raise your head and kiss his cheek, neck, and then shoulder, and you hear his breath catch, signalling that you might be the one to win this.

He glances over at you, raising one eyebrow, and you just lean your head on his shoulder, looking up at him. Almost immediately his expression weakens as he leans over to kiss you again, cupping your face in one hand.

After a few seconds you pull back, already ever so slightly breathless, before leaning in and giving him a quick peck on the lips again. Two more kisses, you think, and then he’ll hit his limit of ten.

You move your own hand and place it over his, which is still cupping your face, and as you predicted he kisses you yet again, causing you to laugh in to the kiss. He’s blushing when you pull back, and you have definitely won this game. You kiss him one final time, allowing the kiss to last for a decent amount of time before you pull back and look at him through half-lidded eyes.

“That’s ten kisses, love,” you tell him, half-smiling as you watch him work out what you just said.

You barely stop yourself from laughing as you see it register and he looks so upset you almost want to kiss him again to make it better, but then he frowns and untangles himself from you to stand up.

“You’re so mean to me~” he groans, but he’s smiling again now. “You win, okay? You win. I just wanted a few kisses!”

You both start laughing, and he leans down to hug you, and you just cling to him and laugh, incredibly glad that you have someone like him in your life.