ill mannered

i work as an actor at a haunted house and this little girl who was dressed as a cat came through she saw me and was like “no thank you please dont get closer i am already scared” and i was like alright i appreciate the good manners ill back off. so her dad picks her up and starts going down the rest of my dark hall and i just hear her yell “everybody wait! i dropped my ears” so i find them and give them to her dad and she goes “thank you but i hope i never see you again goodbye” and waved over her dads shoulder. i waved back and she gave me a thumbs up. honestly this kid has a lot of guts and props for being so polite when shes terrified i hope she gets a lot of candy this year

Am I undeveloped or developed?

Those who are “undeveloped” will naturally express the negative qualities of their particular sign whereas those who are “developed” will express the positive. It’s important to note that everybody has room for improvement and it’s likely that you’ll relate to a combination of both the undeveloped and developed characteristics of your sign. 

Be sure to check your Sun, Moon, Venus, Saturn, Pluto and Lilith.

UNDEVELOPED ARIES: childish, becomes profoundly angry over insignificant issues, aggressively competitive, confrontational, erratic mood swings, doesn’t want their ego to be hurt, impatient, compares themselves to others, jealous, often feels offended, only desires physical affection,  antagonistic, too competitive, forgets that other people can assume responsibility and leadership roles, domineering, tendency to start a project and then lose interest in it if progress is too slow or things have become too complicated.
DEVELOPED ARIES: energetic and dynamic, sociable, extroverted, wants to have fun, openly affectionate, adventurous, motivated, inspirational, enthusiastic, independent, studious, open to new opportunities, talks about their feelings, loves to go out, shows you off, goal-orientated, hardworking, capable of great accomplishments if they learn how to constructively use their abundant energies, naturally enthusiastic and always ready for activity and competition, inspiring to others, ideas and creative projects seem to flow from them in a never-ending stream, full of energy and never lack courage, straight-forward, doesn’t hold grudges.

possessive, clinging, overly jealous, refuses to open up and speak about their emotions, apprehensive about falling in love and becoming vulnerable, headstrong, intense need to possess, resistant to change, shy and reserved, immense fear of being rejected, lazy, insensitive, holds grudges, better at sustaining what others have started rather than starting things themselves, critical, has to be right all the time, treats people as objects or possessions thus leading to difficulty in relationships, can be lead but never pushed, slow to change their opinions.
DEVELOPED TAURUS: strong, deliberate, practical, exacting, determined, persistent, persevering, compassionate, loves harmony and beauty and can be extremely affectionate and romantic, loyal, extremely productive, amorous, passionate and tender-hearted, extremely romantic, only wants the best for those they care about, thoughtful, unashamedly affectionate, supportive, emotionally stable, good with money, able to bargain and compromise, always finish whatever projects they start, reliable, trustworthy, careful, steadfast, people tend to feel secure around Taureans, patient, cool and collected, they have the patience and ability to devise practical solutions to problem.

UNDEVELOPED GEMINI: judgemental and disapproving, frivolous, control-freak, disingenuous, scheming, has ill intent, contradictory, restless, impatient, emotionally closed off, poor listeners, superficial, deceitful, insincere, untrustworthy, plays mind games, usually emotionally detached, self-centered, obnoxious, con artist, trickster, they gather in all types of information but seldom getting to the depth of any subject; broad and not deep, people may have difficulty in keeping up with their rapid change of conversation topics, often finish other people’s sentences, indecisive, emotionally detached, difficulty in projecting themselves into the emotional reactions of other people, lack of concentration, undependability, wishful thinking, dreaminess.
DEVELOPED GEMINI: friendly, clever, talkative, versatile, curious, perceptive, intuitive, logical, interesting and entertaining dialogue, realistic, gives sound advice, carefree and relaxed, great communicators, very intelligent and talkative, outgoing and a socialite but doesn’t rely on the company of people for happiness, persistent, gaining knowledge and disseminating comes naturally, quick thinkers, ability to use the right words in any situation, possess tremendous wit and a good sense of humour, they use their minds rather than their hearts to find their way through life, logic and reason are their guidelines, ability to understand what makes other people behave as they do.

UNDEVELOPED CANCER: domineering and arrogant, emotionally manipulative, feelings are easily excited and displayed, codependent, melodramatic, jealous and possessive, clingy, emotionally volatile, unsteady, manipulative and conniving, bad-tempered, moody, overprotective, controlling, anxious, argumentative, sensitive, martyr-like, responds to life through their emotions rather than through their minds, tend to absorb the emotional vibrations of wherever they are which can be exhausting, unconsciously seeks sympathy, attention, and affection from others, tendency to keep all their problems to themselves.
DEVELOPED CANCER: kind-hearted, affectionate, selfless, benevolent, supportive and nurturing, counselor, takes the time to empathise and understand other perspectives, openly affectionate, respectful and considerate, tenacious, sympathetic, industrious, thrifty, protective, caring, eager to help, accommodating, charitable, likable, amiable, bashful, excellent memory, home-bodies, fond of family life and domestic tranquility, enjoyers of travel and adventure, quietly tenacious and hard working.

UNDEVELOPED LEO: has an attitude of superiority, vain, desires recognition, thrives off of compliments, doesn’t care about the needs of others, insecure, egotistic, autocratic and tyrannical, insolent and ill-mannered, conceited, head-splittingly loud, obnoxious, demanding, intolerant, overly pessimistic, domineering, lazy, close-minded, gossips, unable to accept criticism without being offended, narcissistic, feelings are easily hurt, money seems to slip through their fingers.
DEVELOPED LEO: supportive and encouraging, proud of their friend’s achievements, considerate, attentive, thoughtful, compassionate, extremely romantic, cheerful, hopeful, dignified, playful, treats those they love like royalty, optimistic, expressive and communicative about their feelings, emanates a powerfully positive aura, adventurous, confident, socially conscious, friendly, mean and cruel acts are beneath them, they always have the belief that whatever they do it for the other person’s benefit, affectionate, they can be counted on to bring the snshine to other people’s lives, exceptionally generous, seldom depressed, resilient.

UNDEVELOPED VIRGO: victim mentality, likes the idea of being seen as cold-hearted and emotionless, seldom opens up, unreasonably high standards, overly pessimistic and negative, too critical of themselves, can’t accept compliments or praise, incapable of taking responsibility for their own actions, hypercritical, skeptical, dull and bland, undemonstrative, pedantic, desire to be unapproachable and mysterious, jeopardises mental health to maintain an image of perfection, discriminating, aloof, skeptical, picky, sarcastic, whiny, self-centered, always seeking perfection in whatever they attempt and thus easily disappointed, tendency to worry, difficulty expressing themselves as passionately as they desire.
DEVELOPED VIRGO: a high achiever, productive, laid-back, sweet and affectionate, thoughtful, caring, fast learner, achieves their goals through determination and hard work, can work well autonomously and in groups, selfless, intelligent, more than willing to help others, adaptable, perfect organisers, handles mental health well, punctual, reliable, great deal of common sense, practical, friendly, logical and able to main an objective perspective on issues, detail-oriented, keeps a clean work and home environment, curious and inquiring minds with keen analysis and a great memory, enjoys analysing people, situations, and problems, always looking for new ways to take care of themselves.

UNDEVELOPED LIBRA: dependant on the advice and opinions of others, hopeless romantic, unable to take into consideration the feelings of others, believes the world revolves around them, missing sense of identity, indecisive, extraordinarily superficial, places immense value on appearances, unsure about who they really are, neurotic and paranoid, manipulative, uses people for their own benefit, charms their way out of dilemmas, compulsive liar, enormous inability to take responsibility for their own actions, impulsive spender, passive-aggressive, adverse to confrontation, can be idealistic, dependent, insencere and lazy, has a difficult time being alone, in love with the idea of love and thus rushes into relationships without forethought.
DEVELOPED LIBRA: sweet and affectionate, nostalgic, hard workers, shows their partner off, proud, caring, protective, a good friend and advisor, happy-go-lucky and optimistic, opens up about their feelings, loves to talk, strives to maintain balance within their relationships, romantic and sentimental, diplomatic, peaceful, fair, cooperative, sociable, finds the most peaceful solution to benefit everyone, able to listen and make compromises, mediator, helpful, happiest when in a relationship or in situations where they can work with other people, able to provide sound and practical advice.

UNDEVELOPED SCORPIO: paranoid, distrustful, refuses to open up, emotionally volatile, mood swings, emotional outbursts, possessive, overly jealous, incapable of handling rejection, resentful, focuses solely on their partner and forgets about themselves, often too passionate about the wrong things, grudge-bearing, stops at nothing to exact their revenge, stubborn, overly sarcastic, vindictive, pseudo-intellectual, victim mentality, immature and childish, bad-tempered, surly, social recluse, misanthrope and a cynic, controlling and power hungry, makes unconscious agreements with themselves that they must fulfill which leaves the people in their life confused and puzzled, all or nothing mentality, self-destructive, fixated on finding true love and finds themselves stuck in toxic relationships, insolent.
DEVELOPED SCORPIO: productive, studious, hardworking, works well in teams, provides security and stability to those closest to them, ambitious, efficient, courageous, resourceful, incredibly intuitive, charismatic, enjoys and tackles challenges, friendly, loyal to the end, make friends easily and give unwaveringly to them, capable of extreme self-sacrifice for those they love, friendly, empathetic and caring, magnetic personality, self-sufficient and independent, demonstrative, happiest and most fulfilled with one partner with whom they can combine emotional and sexual love, persuasive, passionate, energetic and zealous, artistic, generous, values justice, loves to look after and take care of people who are close to them, sensitive and loving in nature.

UNDEVELOPED SAGITTARIUS: finds it difficult to express their feelings properly, believes they’re always right, easily offended, disrespectful, tactless, brutally honest, hasty and impulsive, overactive mind, careless, obnoxious, critical of themselves and others, incredibly irresponsible, boastful, self-righteous, arrogant, quarrelsome, dogmatic and dictatorial, outspoken to the point of bluntness, “truth hurts” mentality, easily distracted, tendency to over-indulge in food and drinks, restless, reluctant to commit to people and careers, overlooks small details.
DEVELOPED SAGITTARIUS: dependable, generally always optimistic regardless of the difficulties that may be besetting them, open-minded, friendly, honest, versatile, adventurous, enjoys the outdoors and sports, aspires to travel the world, philosophical, desire to understand the deeper issues and abstractions of life, both physically and mentally healthy, friendly, helpful and humorous, excellent conversationalists, gift for making friends, humanitarian, will help anyone who is need, loyal and honest, straightforward and sincere, there is nothing devious or manipulative in their nature.

UNDEVELOPED CAPRICORN: bossy, worried, pessimistic, retaliatory, suspicious, stubborn, intolerant, hard to please, does not have a lot of self-confidence and doubts themselves constantly, cold and comes off as heartless, only interested in their work, makes up no time for their partner, flinty, cold-hearted, seems like they don’t have emotions, too hard on themselves, fears failure, inferiority complex, seeks retribution for wrongs done to them, tendency to isolate themselves from people due to their reserve and fear of being hurt, self-doubting, lacks confidence, prone to overworking themselves, difficult for them to relax, lacks personal magnetism, feels inhibited in expressing their emotions.
DEVELOPED CAPRICORN: have goals that they aspire to reach, supportive, persuasive power, can inspire others, desire to climb whatever mountains are necessary and to stand on their own two feet, organised, methodical, responsible, honest, efficient, patent, practical, goal-oriented, dependable, only expresses hostility as a defence when attacked, very loyal to close friends and people they care about, respect and recognition are important to them, strong self-discipline, nothing turns them from their course if their mind is made up, will give up many pleasures in order to reach their goals, hard work invigorates them, thifty, abhor waste; this includes wasting a lot of talk in idle chatter, creative, work becomes therapeutic.

UNDEVELOPED AQUARIUS: social recluse, impersonal, unpredictable, hard for them to show affection and love openly, radical, doesn’t know what love feels like, avoids relationships, cynic, tactless, harsh, hard for them to open up to someone, stubborn, lost in their own world, rigid, uninterested in romance, rebellious, can’t find their place in the world, acts cold, uninterested, bored, hard to reach, delusive, idealistic, low energy levels, can be absentminded at times, will rebel just for the pleasure of it, do things to deliberately shock people, not prone to excessive displays of affection.
DEVELOPED AQUARIUS: friendly, original, unique, intuitive, broadminded, non-conforming, different, independent, freedom-loving, scientific, unusual, helpful, super practical and great worker, seeks to share knowledge with others in order to bring about a better life for all, group activity is their customary mode of operation, helps others so they can help themelves, concerned with humanity as a whole rather than any one particular individual, philosophical, visionaries, determinated, persistent, analytical and scientific minds, ability to think things through to an accurate conclusion, they do not like arguments unless they feel there is a need to defend a person, an ideal or a principle, loyal and faithful, desires independence.

UNDEVELOPED PISCES: impressionable, indecisive, self-pitying, hypersensitive, changeable, unassuming, idealistic, moody, manipulating, expects too much from others and then feels hurt if the other person doesn’t come through for them, strong tendency to place their loved one on a pedestal which can lead to disillusionment when they discover their loved ones has faults, insecure, easily carried away, generally do not possess strong willpower nor do they have a dynamic approach to life, can appear to be determined on the outside but underneath inner doubts are brewing, insecurity causes them to seeek reassurance from others, difficult time saying no, will stay in bad situations thinking that they can somehow change the other person, some love to play martyr while others need to play the saviour, tend to think with their heart rather than their head, easily used by others, falls for any kind of sob story.
DEVELOPED PISCES: sympathetic, compassionate, helpful and caring, very sensual and sensitive, loyal and honest, creative, extremely active minds, strong imagination, sentimental and romantic in love, very generous with their time in helping other people, always feel their best when they are serving others in some capacity, will become less moody and introverted by using their compassion outwardly for others, reluctant to hurt others, makes friends easily and are quite loyal to them, many forms of art, dance and music appeal to them, instinctively seem to know their own capabilities and limitations.

Inktober 2017, 6/31: The Mischievous Dog
A DOG used to run up quietly to the heels of everyone he met, and to bite them without notice. His master suspended a bell about his neck so that the Dog might give notice of his presence wherever he went. Thinking it a mark of distinction, the Dog grew proud of his bell and went tinkling it all over the marketplace. One day an old hound said to him: “Why do you make such an exhibition of yourself? That bell that you carry is not, believe me, any order of merit, but on the contrary a mark of disgrace, a public notice to all men to avoid you as an ill mannered dog.”
Notoriety is often mistaken for fame.

– Aesop’s Fables, translated by George Fyler Townsend

Harry Potter and His Complete Lack of Shower Etiquette.

Harry tossed his uniform over the back of the sofa as he flicked open the top few buttons of his shirt and entered the kitchen to get himself a long drink of water. He was hungry; Draco had already ordered Chinese. The take-out containers sat on the table, neatly arranged in the centre under a Stasis, with two plates, forks and the paper-wrapped chopsticks laid out ready. 

But it was a sudden craving for something cold and sweet that hit him and after pointlessly digging around in the freezer for a few seconds, he gave up and went looking for his boyfriend. He could hear the shower running now, as he walked further into the flat and the muffled humming that seemed strangely magnified as it echoed off the wet tiles. 

The bathroom door was ajar and Harry elbowed his way in. Draco was a long, blurred form in the tub behind the curtain, his hands in his hair as he lathered. He hummed the chorus of the song for a fifth time - he was pants at memorising the rest of the lyrics.

Snorting softly, Harry curled his fingers around a fistful of the damp curtain and pushed it aside with a careless, “Hey, are we out of–”

But his question was drowned out at Draco’s vague humming morphed into a severely high-pitched shriek as he turned around to face Harry, both hands flying down between his legs to cover his bits. Sweet smelling suds of shampoo ran down the sides of his face and his hair was sticking up in wet bunches. The shower was still running, pouring onto his shoulder and back, the steam rising around him like a cloud. His eyes were huge and round with shock and his mouth was open in a scream that went on and on. 

He was frankly completely adorable.

“Stop screaming.” Harry rolled his eyes. “For fuck’s sake, Draco, it’s just me. Are we out of ice cream? I saw a tub in there last week–”

“GET OUT!” Draco shrieked, lifting one hand to violently point a soapy finger towards the door, spattering Harry with streaks of apple scented water. “YOU ILL-MANNERED WRETCH! GET OUT!”

“Oh my god, I fucked you in here only this morning!” Harry reminded him incredulously. “I’ve seen you naked literally every single fucking day for over three yea–”

“HARRY, I WILL STAB YOU IN THE FUCKING EYE!” Draco bellowed, eyes bulging manically, hands curled into fists. “I HATE YOU! GET OUT! GET OUT!–”

“Fine!” Harry was already backing away. “Jesus Christ,” he muttered under his breath as he exited the bathroom, shutting the door firmly behind himself so that the continued screams of have you no sense of propriety whatsoever and how is it that I’ve ended up with a shamelessly indecent, completely uncouth piece of shit like you faded away to muffled screaming coupled with the steady gush of the shower.

Harry laughed for a whole ten minutes.


13 Reasons Why

Thoughts on 13 Reasons Why characters and a rating of how much I dislike them from 1 being “my baby!!!!” to 10 being “FUCK THEM THEY CAN ROT” 

Hannah Baker: Didn’t deserve everything she went through especially rape. She pushed some people away though and sometimes she was kind of idk how to word it but I didn’t like stuff about her at times. Either way she deserved so much better than what she got. Deserved to be happy with Clay. 2/10.

Clay Jensen: Will fight anyone for Hannah. He was so shy around her and didn’t know what to do whenever he was with her, he’s so precious. Sometimes there were some things he did that didn’t sit right with me but he definitely deserved a happy ending with Hannah Baker; they deserved to be happy and in love and ugh. Also… took like 4823707592 years to listen to the tapes? 2/10.

Tony Padilla: Gay POC which I love because we need more of them. I love him he was so patient with Clay and all he ever did was try and protect Hannah’s wishes. Glad he shared the tapes with Hannah’s parents because they deserved to know why she killed herself instead of being left in the dust wondering why. I was always so happy when he came on screen. CLAY LISTEN TO THE GODDAMN TAPES. 1/10.

Jeff Atkins: My pure cinnamon roll, didn’t deserve to die because of a stupid girl who couldn’t own up to her mistakes. I hate how nobody including his parents and except Clay never knew he wasn’t drunk that night he died. Just wanted Clay and Hannah together. Your fave is problematic: uses “unique” 7 times in an essay. -5435973495797/10. I love him forever, hes so great. Never did anything bad.

Justin Foley: Didn’t deserve the home life he had BUT i really hated him for what he did to Hannah and the fact that he’s a rape enabler and a rape apologist like he literally let his best friend rape his unconscious girlfriend, covered up for him, and lied to her about it and then when she found out, he STILL was justifying what he and Bryce did by telling her that he didn’t tell anyone because Bryce does all this shit for him. KNEW that whatever happened at that party was fucking Jessica up but didn’t come forward until the very end. Claims he cared for her but you don’t do that shit to someone you claim you care about. Fuck him for that. 8/10.

Jessica Davis: She was so cool and nice in the beginning but then I hated how she got mad at Hannah and slapped her for the list instead of Alex, like really??? You think she asked to be on that list?? PLEASE. But after all that, she was still nice towards her and was never ill-mannered when it came to Hannah. Also, can we talk about how she didn’t deserve to be raped??? Justin Foley DEFINITELY didn’t deserve her. YOU GO GIRL. TELL HIM YOU NEVER WANT TO SEE HIM AGAIN. 5/10.

Alex Standall: He made some poor decisions making that list for a stupid reason and then letting Hannah pay the price. I somewhat like him though. I think he was a redeemable character and had a conscience (although it was too late, rip Hannah Baker) and felt that he needed to own up to it and tell the truth, was ready for whatever penalty he was gonna get. Was the only one (for a while) who thought what the others were trying to do was stupid. He definitely deserved better too, he didn’t deserve to shoot himself (or in other theories, didn’t deserve to be shot by Tyler). Please be okay…please be alive, baby. 4/10. 

Courtney Crimsen: GIRL, BYE. I hate and will always hate her character so much. Her and Bryce should just rot. She was a rape apologist and only cared about herself. Like girl I get that coming out is hard, I haven’t even done it, but to fuck up Hannah’s life like that? Are you serious? Justified Bryce’s actions to hide her truth. And she fucked up Jessica’s life too, in my opinion. She tried so hard to convince herself (and others) that Hannah was lying, Bryce isn’t a rapist, and that Jessica was never raped just so she can stay in the fucking closet. Like there’s nothing wrong with being gay. And she has two gay dads for fucks sake. 10/10 would always hate her again. 

Zach Dempsey: I think he genuinely liked Hannah but after all the shit Hannah had been through and the fact that his friends were his friends, I definitely see Hannah’s side of why she shot him down. I think he, himself, was lonely too but in different way; just because someone’s popular doesn’t mean they’re not lonely. Didn’t get compliments so he stole Hanah’s when she needed it most (I hate how he did that ugh like WHY…did you really need it?). Redeemable character, though. Also…HE KEPT HANNAH’S NOTE IN HIS WALLET!!! 5/10.

Tyler Down: Fuck him. A fucking creep. Like, he stalked people and took pictures of them when they were unaware (especially Hannah) and when she confronted him, HE FUCKING SENT THE PICTURE TO EVERYONE. Claims he “loved” Hannah but really?? FUCK HIM. Why did he even have so much guns? I’m pretty sure he’s planning a school shooting…fucking psychopath…”I can take care of myself” BOY BYE. And if he did shoot Alex, FUCK HIM EVEN MORE. 9/10.

Ryan Shaver: Didn’t respect Hannah’s wishes. Only cared about himself and poetry. Didn’t even care that Hannah didn’t want her shit to get out. I only liked him whenever he said Bryce is a rapist and that Courtney should just shut the fuck up and stop justifying Bryce’s actions. 8/10.

Marcus Cole: He cared more about himself and his reputation more than anyone. Thought he was the shit. Sexually assaulted Hannah then called her easy for refusing. 9/10.

Sheri: I liked her and she was genuinely nice but she crashed the stop sign and left a drunken Hannah at the scene and fled. Caused Jeff to die and I hate her for it. Though she reported it because she knew it was the right thing to do, it was already waaay too late. 6/10 because of Jeff.

Bryce: Rapist. Douchebag. Scum of the earth. He didn’t even think what he did was wrong. He raped two fucking girls and didn’t even feel remorse. He just thought every girl wanted him and that was that. I hate him so much, he can die. 102804802020x100000/10.

Mr. Porter: Could have tried better to stop Hannah from killing herself. She was set on suicide until she had doubts and needed just one person to help her and the one person she came to didn’t care enough to chase after her when she left his room that day. Worst. Guidance Counselor. Ever. 8/10.

I’m sure this has been posted elsewhere, but I feel it bears repeating.

Extremism is not a function of mental illness.

Someone who is mentally ill in any manner is not more likely to be an extremist. They’re not more likely to be a dangerous extremist. They’re not more vulnerable to the ideologies; they’re not in any way special.

Someone being mentally ill and an extremist, are two completely unrelated facts.

Their mental illness may interact with the extremism, in the same way mental illness interacts with every facet of someone’s life.

Most extremists are average people in a socially vulnerable position that extremist ideologues can exploit.

People who feel disenfranchised (legitimately or not.) People who are socially isolated. People who are scared, or angry, or feel cheated.

This isn’t mental illness: this is a social problem.

This is exactly what happens every time social change comes to a head.

It becomes violent when someone feeling threatened by the changes decides it’s time to put the social change back the way it “should be.” It becomes violent because these people are told by their extremist social group that the world is getting out of line because they haven’t stopped it.

And the way they’re told to stop it is violence, and that violence is their right.

This isn’t a broken chemical signal in the brain. There isn’t some miraculous stop-catch we have as a species against violence. We are all capable of violence if we can justify it, and justifying it is a function of social norms.

What’s lacking in violent extremists is the social norms against violence have been thrown out, and blamed for the loss of everything they’re told they deserve by their extremist social group.

This is not mental illness, and blaming it on mental illness is blaming a social minority for a problem that has nothing to do with them and it needs to fucking stop.

Assorted Miscellaneous Memorable Quotes

Context: This is mostly just a collection of one-liners I remember from various sessions. Party includes Ulfgar (LN male dwarf cleric), Renariel (LG male aasimar paladin), Velle (LN female half-elf monk), Roderick (CG male gnome bard), Sashi (CN female human ninja), and Gark (N male half-orc ranger).

“Hey, what’s the penalty for dual-wielding these motherfuckers?” — Gark, holding two kobolds by their tails

“Hey, can we…?” — Sashi, usually to the Ulfgar, frequently with that look in her eye
”No.” — Ulfgar, flatly
“But I didn’t even…!” — Sashi
“I know. No.” — Ulfgar, firmly, being far too familiar with Sashi’s ideas

“I don’t remember, he either said yes or no…” — Roderick, while ICly distracted by tinkering with some gadget or another

“One more pun like that and I’m going to punt all of you.” — DM, more than once, though that hasn’t ever stopped us (or him, for that matter) from even worse puns

“Surrender your weapons and armor and approach the throne!” — NPC royal guard
“That, uh, that’s sort of… problematic…” — Velle, eyeing her fists dubiously

“I implore thee, repent and cease thine ill-mannered hooliganism, lest down upon thee I am forced to throw the smack!” — Renariel to a marauding pack of bandits, accompanied by an Intimidation check of 33 or so

“I’m Lawful Neutral.  I am not Lawful Suicidal.” — Ulfgar, explaining why he advised against a party of six attacking a group of thirty smugglers in their hideout when they needed information from them

“…I’m having a thought.” — Sashi’s player, and distressingly frequently
“Oh shit…” — Everyone else, including the DM, equally frequently

“Just die already! …Geez, you’d think I was trying to kill him or something…” — Gark, fighting a gladiatorial deathmatch against a minotaur, consistently getting high attack rolls and minimal damage rolls

“Um. I’m going to advise against that course of action.” Renariel’s player, most often to Sashi’s player, usually whenever the DM starts giggling, and usually prompting Sashi to do it anyway so as to not metagame

“You… don’t want to do that. Trust me.” — DM, in an oddly forgiving mood despite almost spraying coffee all over his DM screen, when Sashi wants to roll to flirt with a barmaid who’s actually a disguised succubus, and convincing Sashi’s player to go ahead and metagame just this once

“Clear me a path. I’m going to punch his face’s face upside the face with his face.” — Velle, highly annoyed with the sorcerer and underlings the party was fighting

WHO’S FUCKING NEXT!?” — Gark, at 3 HP, after one-shotting a red dragon who had KO’d half the party in the surprise round, to the four lizardfolk accompanying said dragon, with an accompanying Intimidate check of 41 that convinces the remaining upright PCs to slowly back away, and the DM’s dogs both immediately opting to find a different room to nap in

“I think it’s trapped.” — Ulfgar, after the human ninja nearly gets electrocuted on a door handle
“You don’t say.” — Sashi, coughing out a puff of smoke

“Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!” — Roderick, in a completely non-Lovecraftian setting, anytime he rolls for Use Magic Device
“Gesundheit.” — Someone, usually Velle, anytime he fails said roll

“Will somebody please roll higher than a goddamn twelve!” — DM, frustrated that three rounds of combat against a band of gnolls had resulted in zero damage done by either side, shortly before Roderick convinced everyone to stop fighting with a string of ridiculous Diplomacy rolls

“Should we split up to find…” — Sashi’s player, OOC, while looking up a rule on his phone
NO!” — Everyone else in the party, inspiring him try to hide under said phone and the DM to choke on his coffee


“Hey 😊 Could you do a reader x Klaus where the reader lets Kol drink some of her blood to help him heal after being seriously hurt and Klaus gets super jealous? Thank you!!” 

This morning you woke up alone in the bed you share with your boyfriend, Klaus Mikaelson. Your head was pounding and you were especially dehydrated from the drunken night out you had yesterday with your girls. You definitely regret getting so wasted.

The first thing you did was throw on your pajama pants, because who wears pajama pants to bed? Especially when you share a bed with the hottest Mikaelson brother, well, in your opinion that is. 

The walk to the kitchen was definitely a pain. Your feet were dragging to the floor and your faced looked as if everything was too bright.

“What puts you in such a mood?” Kol notices while he’s in the kitchen drinking a glass of water. You were surprised it wasn’t a glass of blood this time.

“I’m so damn hungover. Please don’t mess with me right now, Kol.” You weakly grabbed a cup from the top cupboard.

“Perhaps I can cure you of that.” He suggested.


“My blood. Have at it before I change my mind.” Kol bites into his inner wrist, then puts the dripping blood into your empty glass that you held.

You hesitated, looking back and forth at the blood-filled glass and Kol’s face. You never thought about trying vampire blood to cure a hangover. If it really works, then you’re going to go out drinking more often.

“Would you prefer wasting your day being hungover?” Kol added, turning his grin to a not-so-amused face.

“Okay okay.” You put your hands up in defense, then proceeded with drinking until the glass was empty and bam! Just like that, you were all cured as if all those shots you took last night never happened. “Wow.” You said in disbelief.

“And you probably wondered why Nik wakes up peachy the morning after he drinks.”

You were singing your favorite song in the kitchen as you were washing the last of your dish from the yummy leftover spaghetti you just ate. Kol was sitting on the island on his iPhone. Here to ruin the fun, Klaus walks in with a puzzled look on his face.

“And how is it that you’re all better? You appeared nearly dead before I left.” Klaus questioned, furrowing his brows.

“Uh, Kol gave me his blood.“ You said, wiping your hands dry with a towel.

“It’s not like you were at your bloody death bed, love. Those extra minutes of waiting for your significant other will not kill you.” Klaus shot you a glare. What’s gotten into him?

You and Kol glanced at each other because the two of you were caught off guard at how jealous Klaus was being. “Okay? Got it boss.” You replied, then walked off to your bedroom. You weren’t in the mood to get into an argument with the big, bad original hybrid.

You were curious why it was such a big deal. Klaus has a habit of getting slightly jealous when it comes to men hitting on you, but vampire blood? From his own brother? Even Kol knows how much you are in love with Niklaus, so you don’t see why your boyfriend was being such a grump about it.

“Well, that was quite uncomfortable.” Kol hopped off of the counter to head to the living room but Klaus stopped him before he had a chance to take another step.

“Please enlighten me Kol as to who gave you permission to do so.” Klaus implied, looking as if he wanted to rip Kol in half.

“Pardon? I wasn’t aware that it was a crime to cure a hangover.”

“I find it quite obscene as my sweetheart wasn’t dying now, was she? I won’t hesistate this time to make that dagger your best friend as I’ve also noticed you have been overly friendly to Y/N for my taste.” Klaus scolded.

“Nik, Nik, Nik, you’re always for the dramatics.” Kol chuckled. “Would you rather me be ill-mannered with Y/N?”

“I’d rather you keep your distance.” Klaus growled, then dramatically walked off.

❥ ☇ insomniac *:。

word count: roughly 11,500.

genre: some (a lot of) depressing angst + major fluff + cute romance.

synopsis: wonwoo is the strangely quiet boy that sits in the back of class and would rather be reading than listening to the lessons. his appearance is also quite questionable, with dark rings under his eyes and disheveled hair. 

he’s earned the nickname, insomnia, and you’re curious to discover if the quiet boy matches what everyone seems to call him. 

There is nothing but silence, a still unsettling silence that sticks to every corner of the room as watery streaks of moonlight bathe the boards of oakwood. A clock sits on the bedside table, the black numbers being highlighted by the bright blue that lays behind them. At this time, the world is quiet, the only sound being the blood rushing through your ears or the steady heart beat thumping in your chest.

A bed is placed snuggly into the corner of the room, a thick comforter lying neatly over the old mattress that carries the stains of spilt coffee and tea. Nothing is out of place, all the clothes are folded with precision and tucked away inside the dresser, every book on the shelf has its spine turned out, each series perfectly aligned with the next. It might even look as if no one ever stayed inside the room for it was always too clean and organized, or maybe whoever slept there had too much time on their hands. 

Just as the digits on the clock struck 3am sharp, the door handle slowly swiveled and a figure emerged from the hallway, a tall glass of water curled in its fingers. After sitting down on the mattress and taking a very long sip of its beverage, the figure shifted to the centre of the bed and crossed its arms over its knees, back slouching and tufts of ash coloured hair falling carelessly over its eyes.

Noise. Why was it always so noisy?

The hallways acted like a speaker, amplifying every little clink or clank down the long corridors until it faded away. Only a few more weeks left of school, only a few more weeks left of angsty students who were constantly slamming their lockers and scuffing their shoes, only a few more weeks of fed up teachers who couldn’t even bother to yell at their class because they knew it was worthless. 

You could hardly wait to get away from it all and finally be able to isolate yourself back into silence, sweet, sweet silence. After navigating your way through the morning crowd of zombies that moved slower than molasses, you set your heap of books down and pushed in your earbuds. You liked being alone in class, before the lights were turned on and curtains were tugged open. You could just slouch at your desk and let your foot tap against the tiles while listening to something you actually wanted to hear and not the brainless conversations of the people around you.

Then the door was opening, and a streak of yellow light washed over the floor for a few seconds before disappearing. Another student was here, though he hardly looked like a student. His frame was tall and lean, prominent collar bones resting under his milky skin tone while messy ash tinted hair almost covered his eyes. 

Yes his eyes, they were dark, very dark, like someone dropped a splash of black food colouring into his irises. Discoloured circles lay under his lash line, like the result of someone who hadn’t slept in weeks while his attire consisted of a loose long sleeved white shirt and dark grey sweatpants tucked into worn out sneakers. His name was Wonwoo, but everyone called him Insomnia because that’s exactly how he looked. Like someone who couldn’t sleep.

Wonwoo stared blankly across the empty classroom as he readjusted the books swept under his arm, his hollow gaze sweeping right over you like you weren’t even there. Suddenly the bell began to ring and before you knew it, the zombies were flooding into the class, their voices still drowsy from the morning atmosphere as they plopped down lifelessly into their seats. Everyone was sitting except for Wonwoo, he just stood there with his usual blank stare, his back slightly slouched while he remained like a statue.

“Wake up Insomnia and take a seat already.” Someone called from the back of the class, but Wonwoo didn’t take a seat until Mrs. Kang the English teacher walked in, her heels clicking against the tiles while she pushed up the glasses sitting on the bridge of her nose. She patted his should while slipping past him to get to her desk and it wasn’t until then that he finally moved, his eyes flickering slightly before finding an empty desk near the back. Wonwoo was just as fascinating as he was strange, and one day you wanted to have a real conversation with him just to see what was going on inside his head.

“You’re bringing a guy over?”

Keep reading

You toss in your bed
covered in the blanket of protection
of your parents
running your filthy tongue in ungratefulness

while doing gargantuan favours
for your friends

has it ever occurred to you
that when your father comes home
his knees must hurt

or why your mother limps
for the first couple of minutes
after she wakes up?

—  Afreen Razvi, بدتمیز اولاد
Rammstein on their first impressions of each other.

I’ve posted a shortened version of this before, so I thought I’d post the full thing.

What were your first impressions of each other and did they change over the years? (Wayne Duckett, USA)

Christoph: When I met Paul about twenty years ago, I thought he was a very ill-mannered type he made fun of everyone regardless of whether he knew him or not. He immediately noticed a person’s weakness and ridiculed him. It was like a cannon shot, and I did not like it at all. Now I think he’s a good man. Paul is always ready to help.

Oliver: At first I thought that Flake was a scatter brained old grandfather this impression has not changed.

Christophe: And I thought Ollie was a dangerous type, because he was always silent, but six months later he spoke.

Paul: I also had a similar feeling about Ollie, I always tried not to say anything unnecessary so that he would not shoot me down. I still think this. When I met Schneider, I thought he was not a very good drummer, he had a desire, but there was no passion. Then I changed my mind, but I do not remember when it happened!

Christoph: About fifteen years ago, Till was a drummer in a dark punk band. I’ve never seen anyone play like him. Incredible energy. When I thought he had given everything and could not continue, he played on.

Paul: Sometimes Till put a chicken in the bass drum, and when he started drumming they started running out, squawking and wandering around the place.

Christoph: He was also known as the “Wendish Butcher”,in the village where he came from. He stole livestock, took the chicken from the villagers and put them in his drums.

My heart honestly aches for Taylor and the continuous hate she has to deal with. Taylor does nothing but live her life, remains mature, poised, and level-headed. But for some odd reason, people feel the constant need to seek out something she is dong wrong. This girl can be washing her laundry and you’d find reason to tell her she’s doing it the wrong way. I think Taylor has finally come to the sad conclusion that no matter what she does, there is always going to be some ill-mannered and callow individual who will attempt to bring her down. And because she’s always stayed silent regarding issues involving hate, and not giving you the reaction you so desperately desire, it just proves to show that your only motivation behind all of this is jealousy. You have absolutely nothing against her because she has never once given you a negative reaction. But what I have also realized, is that while you bash her for her every move and go on and endless ploy in search of her “wrong-doings” , she still continues to climb the charts, to reach maximum heights of success, and live life on her own terms. All this criticism only results in more of her number one hits, and more attention for her. And although she is a human and still feels hurt by some of what is said as expected, it still doesn’t reach or affect her like some of the world wants it to. So all in all, she’s gaining more attention, success, and you don’t hurt her. And might I ask you then: Who is the real winner here? You, a person who lives their life obsessing over someone else’s? or…. Taylor, the girl who only continues to reach higher levels of fame, success, and a has fan base that grows faster than you can ever come up with an indecent clickbait article? hmmm.

“‘Ladies,’ Elend said to the women, ‘as Lady Vin herself will be quick to tell you, I’m rather ill-mannered. That, in itself, would be a very small sin. Unfortunately, I’m also quite unconcerned about my own disregard for propriety. So, therefore, I’m going to steal my wife away from you all and selfishly monopolize her time. I’d apologize, but that’s not the sort of thing we barbarians do.’”—Pages 290-291

I love Elend when he’s at these parties because he’s so sassy.

“At that moment—as the music began—Elend reached into his pocket and pulled out a book. He raised it with one hand, and the other one her waist, and began to read.”—Page 292

He’s also an adorable little shithead.

marmolita  asked:

How about something about Gladio and Ignis or other Citadel-related people handling the fact that puberty turned Noctis from a cute kid into a really surprisingly attractive young man?

Author’s Notes: I’m… not sure if this is at all what you wanted? H-haha, sorry. orz Anyway, thank you for the prompt, and sorry this got so long and rambly. ^^




Puberty comes late to the crown prince of Lucis. At fifteen, he still looks like a child, with a certain softness to his face and a slenderness to his build.

He tries to beg his way out of school picture day, because he knows well enough that, when he stands beside his classmates, he’ll be shorter than all but a handful.

Then comes sixteen, and with it all the trappings of adulthood. Per the king’s instructions, Ignis begins briefing Noct in more expansive matters of state: in boundary disputes and diplomacy; in civic planning and rules of law.

It’s as though Noct’s body rushes to catch up with the responsibility.

He grows a foot in two months; his limbs take on the gangling, awkward look of adolescent puppies. He has to be measured for an entire new wardrobe, and then another, several months after that.

Ignis notes the razor that rests by the bathroom sink now, a point of pride, though he doubts that Noct has much call to use it. He notes the frequency with which the maids have to change His Highness’ sheets, and he sighs, reminds himself of the hormone-driven days he was more than happy to leave behind, and sits Noctis down for the most embarrassing conversation that he has ever had call to engage in with another human being.

It lasts for half an hour. It focuses primarily on responsibilities, and the importance of maintaining the royal lineage. It covers the unpleasant effects of certain sexually transmitted diseases, and what measures should be taken in order to avoid scandal. 

It ends with Noctis in possession of a box of condoms. 

It ends with the knowledge that Noct can turn that peculiar shade of dahlia pink, heretofore unseen.


The damn kid has a fan club. 

Gladio’s not sure when it happened, but hell if it isn’t the funniest thing he’s ever heard.

Iris comes home from school one day, all worked up about it, and Gladio knows by now exactly which way to prod to get his sister to talk about whatever she’s excited about. She’s bad at hiding it; that’s just the kind of person she is. If she’s into something, it comes bubbling up out of her.

So he prods, and she begs off answering, and then two hours later, she comes back around while Gladio’s reading in his father’s study. She sits herself down on the couch, and she says, “I wasn’t the one who started it,” and Gladio feels his eyebrow go up.

Iris launches into a tale of intrigue and betrayal, one that ends with two of the most popular girls at their school founding the Prince Noctis Fan Club.

And what else was she going to do? She has to keep an eye on them, to make sure they’re not doing anything that’ll be bad for Noct’s good name. So she joined, too. She might not be first in line to be Shield, but she can shield the prince from some things, at least.

Gladio tells her that she did the right thing.

He agrees that it’s best she keep tabs on membership, for Noct’s sake. 

He sees her to the door, and he closes it behind her, and he sits back down with his book.

Then he laughs so hard tears roll down his cheeks, and bites his thumb to keep from being loud about it.

And when Iris’ class comes to the Citadel on their field trip, he cajoles Noct into playing tour guide.


Noct’s new apartment looks like a space that can be lived in, finally.

The cardboard boxes scattered haphazardly across the floor have long been unpacked. Their contents fill the shelves. Ignis saw to most of it, fiddling with considerations such as convenience and aesthetics, while Noct played games on his sofa.

That’s months in the past, now. On the occasions when the space is clean, it actually looks quite nice.

The young man that stands in the center of it, in his trim black suit and sloppy tie, looks at home here. It’s done Noct a world of good, getting some space for himself outside the Citadel.

The new living arrangements come with several specific unfortunate downsides, however. Among them: the time between coaxing Noctis from bed and him walking through the door to the Council’s chamber has dramatically increased.

Ignis glances him over, with a critical eye.

He looks half awake, still. His hair has been gelled, but there’s a certain sloppiness to the way it’s been teased into its peaks and valleys. His face is washed, but the concealer and eyeliner the prince sometimes takes pains to apply is conspicuously absent, abandoned in favor of a few more minutes in bed. The tie knotted at his throat, a beautiful silken blue, looks as though it’s been arranged by a five year old.

“Honestly, Noct,” says Ignis, and steps forward to straighten it up.

His fingers slide against the silk; his touches are brisk and businesslike. But he’s aware of Noct’s eyes on him, that curious shade of night-sky blue. He’s aware of long lashes that truly don’t need the help of the eyeliner. He’s aware of the way Noct’s lips curve up at the corner into a smile, fond and familiar.

Suddenly, Ignis isn’t certain when the chubby toddler he played with as a child turned into this young man before him, who looks every inch the dashing prince from the pages of a fairy tale.

“You do it better, anyway,” says Noct.

Ignis steps back and admires his handwork; the tie is crisp and even, and Noctis looks very much the young gentleman.

“There,” he says. “That will serve.”

It will more than serve. 

His Highness has a photo shoot for a popular girl’s magazine next week. Ignis makes a mental note to ensure they fit this tie into the wardrobe.

It complements the blue of Noct’s eyes quite nicely, indeed.


They’re in the middle of training when Noct loses the shirt.

Gladio doesn’t blame him; it’s hot as hell, and they’ve been going at it for damn near an hour and a half. He stripped out of his own at the start of the session, and he’s still sweating buckets.

But Noct hardly ever ditches his.

If Gladio had to guess, he’d say it probably has something to do with the mess of a scar halfway down the kid’s back. It’s pretty badass, honestly, but he there’s no telling what’ll set someone off. 

Whatever the reason, Noct keeps the shirt on, most days. He hasn’t taken it off in training for – hell, probably almost four years now.

He was a scrawny scrap of a thing, last time Gladio saw him without it, but those days, it looks like, are long in the past.

He’s filled out, that’s for sure. The shoulders are broader, and the abdomen is all lean muscle. However much Gladio gets on him to lay off the pizza, he doesn’t need to. Sure, he’s not ripped. Gladio knows for damn sure he can bench press four times what Noct can pull off, easy.

But Noct’s trained in just about every weapon in the armory, and it shows. He’s built like a gymnast, all sleek power. 

It’s a good look on him. No wonder his fan club’s having its three year anniversary next week.

When Noct glances up and catches him looking, Gladio gives an unimpressed snort.

“Gonna have to step up arm day,” he says. “Can’t have the crown prince flexing with those noodle arms.”

“Noodle arms,” says Noct. “Right.” There’s a flash of blue, and the biggest great sword in the Armiger flickers to life in his hands. It’s as long as Noct is. When they started, he could barely lift it, but now he falls into his stance, massive blade out before him, head tipped up in challenge. “That sounds to me like an invite to knock you on your ass.”

Gladio feels himself grinning. He calls up his own sword in one hand – uses the other to crook his fingers, the world’s universal come-get-some gesture. “Bring it, princess. Let’s see what you’ve got.”


The Accordan ambassador is tall and amiable, and entirely too familiar with the prince.

At dinner, he’s seated to Noct’s left, and he spends the meal leaning in closer than is proper. After, he blames the drink; Lucian wine, he claims, is far more powerful than what he’s grown accustomed to.

Ignis, who counts himself something of an expert on vintages, knows very well that the alcohol content from most Accordan wines is much higher, but for propriety’s sake, he presses his lips together and says nothing.

After the meal, King Regis and his son retire to the lounge to entertain the visiting diplomat. There are certain concessions in the upcoming trade deal that His Majesty hopes to lay the groundwork for, off the books.

Ignis won’t be needed for the remainder of the evening. He’s free to retire to his own quarters, and nothing pressing requires his attention. It could be one of those rare few early nights, if he so chooses.

Instead, he lingers in the grand hall, seating himself where the tour groups pass to and fro, during daylight hours. Now, the there are no curious eyes about to see the sights. Now, the Citadel is nearly empty.

He’s not certain what he’s waiting for.

He idles there far longer than he can excuse as fancy, tapping notes to himself neatly into his phone for tomorrow’s meetings, for want of anything better to do.

That’s where Gladiolus finds him. The man’s in a suit, hair slicked back. He had a tie at one point, but it’s been removed from its spot around his neck, crammed into a pocket haphazardly.

“What,” says Gladio, slowing to a stop before him. “You don’t have anywhere else to be?”

“Not at the moment,” says Ignis, primly, and taps in the last of his notes before looking up.

Gladio sprawls onto the bench without waiting to be invited, legs spread casually in the manner of ill-behaved thirteen-year-old boys. Ignis spares him a lingering glance. 

“Never seen you not in a rush to do something or other,” says Gladio, bemused.

“There’s nothing wrong with keeping a tight schedule.” Ignis adjusts his glasses, though truth be told they don’t need it. “What of yourself? It isn’t like you to linger after hours.”

Gladio lifts one big shoulder and lets it fall. “What, can’t a guy feel like hanging around?”

It would be hypocritical for Ignis to argue the point, and so he doesn’t. He only opens up a new document for his three o'clock with the minister of finance and begins tapping in something new.

He’s written barely two words when his phone buzzes.

It’s a text from Noct, and it reads, “you still around?”

Ignis replies immediately: “I am.”

There is a moment’s pause, during which Ignis pretends to add to his notes but makes no alterations of any value. Then a new text arrives. “can you come here pls.”

He’s on his feet before he’s finished reading, turning toward the elevator that leads up to the higher-security levels of the Citadel.

Gladio says, “What’s the rush?”

And Ignis, thoughts on the Accordan ambassador blaming the wine, says, “Noct,” and his tone is a bit tighter than he intended.

Perhaps Gladio can read his inflection. Perhaps his posture, more closed off than usual, gives him away.

But Gladiolus is on his feet an instant later, falling into step beside Ignis as he makes for the elevator. “On my way,” Ignis taps into his phone, as the doors slide closed behind him.

They arrive at the king’s lounge barely five minutes later. Ignis knocks on the door, brisk and businesslike, and calls out, “Highness?” in a voice loud enough to be audible through the elaborate paneled wood.

There’s a pause, and then Noct opens the door.

He’s decidedly more disheveled than he was half an hour ago. His hair is askew, and the knot of his tie is sloppy. But more than that, his eyes are flat and guarded, in the way they get when he’s upset about something.

Ignis takes in the scene: a room empty of King Regis, empty of anyone else save the Accordan ambassador leaning casually back against the couch, a glass of half-drunk scotch in his hand. His face is redder than it was before, and he looks a touch disheveled, as well.

And Noct. Noct catches at Ignis’ cuff and stares up at him, and then toward Gladio, standing there in the hall. His grip is too tight, and his fingers are trembling.

That tells Ignis all he needs to know.

“Terribly sorry,” says Ignis. “I’m afraid the Council has announced an emergency meeting. His Highness is required elsewhere.”

Then he holds the door wide and says, “Gladiolus, if you’d be so kind as to see the ambassador out?”

He doesn’t think he imagines the way Gladio’s eyes linger on Noct. He doesn’t think he imagines the tightness in the man’s jaw. “With pleasure,” says Gladio, grimly.

“Highness,” says Ignis. “Shall we? The timeline is rather pressing, I’m afraid.”

Noct nods, and lets go of Ignis’ sleeve. He says, “Lead the way.”

He follows Ignis out into the hall, toward the Council chamber. They walk in silence until they reach the first turn in the hallway. Then Ignis changes his route, circling back around to veer toward the Citadel’s private suites.

It takes them just shy of five minutes to reach Noct’s old room. It’s maintained in his absence, for when an official function runs late and he wishes to stay over instead of returning to his apartment.

He stands there in the doorway, looking somewhat harrowed, until Ignis says, “If he tries to reschedule, I’ll shift his appointments around until his ship sails. After he’s safely off our shores, the authorities in Accordo will receive a request for a new representative.”

“Thanks,” says Noct. He swallows. “My dad had to beg off. His leg gets bad, you know? But I thought, it’s just groundwork, right? I’m okay at negotiating.”

Ignis waits for the rest. He hopes that Gladio was rather less gentle than usually warranted, in seeing the ambassador out.

When the silence stretches too long, Noct says, “He got kinda handsy. I would’ve punched him out, only I thought dad wouldn’t appreciate a diplomatic incident.”

Ignis feels a strange swell in his chest at the words. He says, “The right ties in the Accordan media make certain diplomatic incidents all but disappear, you’ll find. As it so happens, I have the right ties in the Accordan media.”

“So you’re saying I should have punched him out.”

“I’m saying,” says Ignis, tone more fierce than intended, “that it would have been no more than he deserved.”

Noct thaws a little, then. The guardedness slips from his eyes, and from his posture. He looks like he means to reply, but Ignis’ phone buzzes before he can. “Go on,” says Noct. “It’s probably Gladio.”

It is, in fact, Gladio.

“How is he?” the text reads. “Does this guy need to accidentally fall down the stairs before I cut him loose?”

Ignis stifles a smile. “Your Shield,” he says, “is considering something of a diplomatic incident of his own.”

Noct leans over to look, with a huff of something very nearly a laugh. “Call him off. And tell him I’m fine.”

Ignis taps his reply into the phone and then slides it into his pocket again. “Are you?” he says, when he looks up.

“I am,” says Noct. But the longer Ignis stares, frank and even, the less Noct seems able to meet the gaze. “I just didn’t expect it, you know?”

Ignis takes a breath in and lets it out slowly. It’s a rhetorical question, but he finds himself answering, anyway. “Nor should you have had to.”

They stand there for a moment, in silence. At last, Noct says, “Thanks, Specs.”

“I would say any time,” says Ignis, “but frankly, I’m hoping we’ve never cause for a repeat occurrence.”

Noct smiles, wry and crooked. “You and me both.” He turns from the door, toward the couch where he used to play video games at twelve years of age, and sits himself down on the indent that still indicates his favorite spot. “Hey,” he says, almost as though it’s an afterthought. “You mind giving me a ride home, when we get out of here?”

“Not at all,” says Ignis. “Although I suspect we’d best wait for Gladio. Unless I miss my guess, he’ll be along shortly.”

Gladio is along shortly, and he brings with him some choice words about the Accordan ambassador’s parentage. Ignis adds a few thoughts of his own, decidedly less crude but every bit as cutting.

By the time they see Noct from the building, through the meandering back hallways of the Citadel and into the private attached garage, that shaken, uncertain look has been chased from his face entirely.

Can’t Escape Myself [Demon!Finn; Part 2/2]

Author Note: Read Part One Here before this part. This part…has angst, fluff, and a hint of smut-ish-behavior. And it is also long.

This is originally from requested, #357 .“When is a monster not a monster?” “When you love it.” - Demon!Finn (Prompt from here.)

Special shout out to @chasingeverybreakingwave @thegenericluchadora @running-ropes @sammiielli & @heelturn-timesten for their feedback, support, and inspiration.

Gif from @actofbalor.

Tagging the usuals, anyone who asked to be, & those that seemed to enjoy the first part: @superkixbaybay @heelcharlie @ihtscuddlesbeeetchx3 @valeonmars @pjanina13 @spot-of-bother @bolieve-that @m-a-t-91 @chasingeverybreakingwave @not-that-kinda-gurl08 @heelturn-timesten @imaginingwwesuperstars @running-ropes @wrestlingnoob @daintymissdevitt @nickysmum1909 @ambrosegirlforever @mistressbalor  @balorsdomain  @cosmicswimming  @rollinsbabe @ileana0300 @purgatoryhatesme @squirrel666  @alexahood21  @bitchesgonnabemad @sammiielli @blondekel77 @fanfic-fanfic-everywhere @thedeboniardevistation @ava-lipstickytoffee @romanempire-aa @alyhull @vebner37 @magicaljrae @caguayo85  @ladylillianrose @kingslayers-angel @florenceivy @wwefinnbalorimagines @ortonaholic @xchrissymitchx @princess3733  @anerdysouthernbelle @behindthesesilvereyes   @queen-twerks-a-lot @bellytobayley @eshia16  

So trust me, trust me, darling dear.
I’m so sincere, there’s no need to tear.
Trust me, trust me
Darling, do.
Just like I trust you.

So don’t cry, crybaby,
All dressed in green.
How many kisses do you need?
One for your tummy,
One for your cheek,
One for the devil inside of me.

Marilyn Monroe once said “Fear is stupid. So are regrets”.

Marilyn Monroe, you decided, had definitely never faced a demon before. And certainly not a demon that was half of the personality that made up the man she loved.

Half of the person? You didn’t even know anymore how to classify this whole situation. Was this a split personality deal? You were not a psychologist, but didn’t one personality not usually know about the other? … The other. How appropriate.

Once you’d seen the change in Finn’s eyes, you’d closed your own, tilting your head downward. Your hands were resting just above his belt on his lower stomach, and you were trying to keep them from trembling. His hands remained on your sides, holding you in place.

Keep reading

Save me (Loki x Reader)

Originally posted by luvn-loki

Word Count: 887

Pairing: Loki x Reader

AN: This is my first loki imagine so I hope you guys like it :) you can read part two part three and part four here

The first time Loki saw you was the day that started it all. He was walking through the city streets with his brother Thor, helping him with a mission on earth. Yes, the god of mischief was willingly helping his brother, there had to have been something in it for him. The brothers were walking in silence beside each other, not sure of what to say as their conversations were rarely civil anymore, but Loki decided to break the awkward silence.

“So brother, how is Lady Jane?”

Thor’s head immediately turned to face his brothers, cheeks bright red from the mention of the love of his life. Before he could actually respond however, a loud screeching of tires could be heard from across the street. Head jolting up, Loki’s eyes caught sight of you walking across the road completely oblivious to the car that was about to hit you. Upon hearing the tire screeching you looked up, frozen in fear ass the car was just centimeters from hitting you.

Something really strange happened that day, something that left Thor gobsmacked and questioning whether or not he truly knew his brother. Some form of heroism deep inside Loki caused him to use his magic to stop the oncoming car, the green aura of his magic floating around the vehicle as it stopped it’s movement. Your eyes widened noticing that someone, most likely a mutant had just saved your life.

Your eyes searched the crowds of people around you and stopped upon noticing a man concentrating with his hand held toward the car. The man was gorgeous to say the least with dark hair that just reached his shoulders and pale skin. He wore a dark green shirt and black jeans that clung to his long legs. You were immediately attracted to this strange boy.

You had to thank this man for saving your life, you had to know who he was. Snapping out of your intense gaze you made you way across the road towards the mysterious stranger who rescued you just moments ago. You notice a man next to him and immediately recognize him as the Avenger Thor making you a little nervous to approach the men, but you had to thank him for his actions. 

Loki, who has now released his magic on the car, notices you approaching and starts to turn around and walk in the other direction, dragging his brother behind him. Noticing him trying to escape you start to speed up your pace, calling out to the man. 

“Hey, please wait up. Please.”

Loki wasn’t sure why but he stopped running away and turned around, letting you catch up to him. You bending over and catching your breath from the short amount of exercise, this is why you didn’t run! Loki’s eyes where taking every inch of you in, noticing your long dark curly hair and the beautiful hazel colour your eyes held. He was taken away by your beauty, never had he met a woman let alone a mortal who had the ability to take his breath away but for some reason you did. 

Thor suddenly cleared his throat, standing up taller as he questioned you. “Is there something troubling you miss?”

You shook your head, becoming shy all of a sudden standing in front of two powerful beings. “That was you, wasn’t it? Who did that, who just saved me?” Your eyes were directly on Loki’s as the words left your mouth.

Clearing his throat and trying to snap himself out of this strange trance he was in, he responded. “Perhaps, what’s it to you mortal?” He came off rude, like the normal Loki but that’s what he was aiming for. He wasn’t going to let himself come off as weak just because of some pretty girl he just met.

You scrunched your eyebrows in confusion with his words. “Mortal? What-uh, never mind. What do you mean what’s it to me? You just saved my life, I came to thank you.”

The god seemed uninterested as he crossed his arms. “Whatever.”

Quickly becoming annoyed with the arrogant boy you let your thoughts be heard. “Gosh you don’t have to be rude you know. Didn’t anyone ever teach you any manners?”

Loki seemed shocked by your outburst, not expecting such harsh words to come out of a seemingly shy little girl. Before he could respond Thor stepped into the conversation. “Please excuse my brother, he is terribly ill mannered and hasn’t much experience with people on earth.”

Recognition flashed in your eyes, Thor was Asgardian so if this was his brother he must be too. That’s why he refereed to you as a mere mortal. “Oh you’re Thor right? I’ve seen you on TV with the Avengers. You guys are pretty darn cool.”

Thor seemed happy with you compliment letting out a small chuckle. “Much thanks kind lady, however we really must be off now. It was nice meeting you.”

Laughing at the strange way they talked you waved goodbye to the men. “Um, see ya. Goodbye angsty magic guy who saved my life.” You smirked as Loki scoffed at your words, turning and walking away. What you didn’t see though was the small smile that appeared on his face as he walked away from the most interesting mortal he’s ever met.


How about a scenario between a guy and a girl, and they just met while eating at a restaurant for a dinner buffet. They’re having a nice and casual convo when the guy catches the girl getting a glimpse of his belly, and he starts to blush and get all embarassed as he subtly fixes his shirt.
They continue on talking and getting to Know each other, when the girl suddenly gets up, and later comes back with a plate full of food. It was some of her favorites, and she insisted he give them a try. She kept bringing him more and more food, and he was starting to get really full, but he didnt want to seem rude. He notices that his shirt is starting to ride up, and while she’s gone, he tries his best to pull it back into place. He stifles a burp and gently rubs his belly before she comes over with yet another plate. He finishes about halfway through before he put his fork down, and politely said,
“Thank you so much for letting me try some of these.. But I’m really getting full..”

“How about some dessert then? They have the most amazing cheesecake here!” She says, almost pleading. Before he could answer, she was already on her way to the dessert bar. He leaned back in his seat slightly as he heard his stomach groan. She came back with two plates worth of different pies, cakes, ice cream, brownies, and other decadents. He gaped at a the food sat before him, and gave a faint smile, and began eating slowly.
About an hour passed of talking and chatting before he finally finished the last bite, and drank nearly a full cup of tea. By this time, he was having trouble breathing and only prayed that the girl wouldn’t look under the table.

“Well it was awesome meeting you!” She said as she got up from the table.

“It was nice-hic!- ”..

She chuckles. “Need some help?” She asks and reaches out her hand. He grabs it, as he heaves himself out of the booth, and looks at her sheepishly. She smiles, and offers to take him home. When they get there, he collapses onto the couch. She smiles and sits next to him, taking another glance at his now rather round and plump middle. She puts a hand over his engorged tummy, and he turns to face her, shock, and confusion plastered all over his blushing face. As his stomach starts to groan and churn, she slowly rubs back and forth, putting slight pressure on some areas to help sooth him. He cant help but feel relaxed as he melts into the couch from her touch. He winced as she pushed down on a tender spot, causing him to burp softly into his hand, as to not be Ill mannered. He kept blushing profusely and told her thanks for everything.
She smiled and said “no problem” as she then started using both hands and rubbed the sides and top of his belly, using her fingernails to draw little trails along the orb of flesh. Before long, she could hear him snoring softly.
She scoots closer to him and gently lays her head on his chest, her face inches away from the towering mass as it moves up and down with each breath he took. She continues on rubbing and squishing his tummy, as she pulls it close, listening to all of the cute noises it made while digesting the food within.

Title: If He Says He’s a Boy, Then He’s a Boy!

Pairing: Sidlink 

Tags: trans!link, slight transphobia

Summary: The river looked like a good, safe place to bathe but when two children show up, Link finds himself in the uncomfortable situation of having his gender brought into question

A/N: Thank you for the request! Sorry this took so long! I wasn’t really certain what to do (or if you wanted sidlink so if not, then just let me know and I’ll write you something else!) so I hope you like this! 

This has been cross posted to my ao3 so if you’d like to read it there! Comments, reblogs and kudos are very much appreciated! Thanks! 


He should have known bathing out in such an exposed place was a bad idea.

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