ill delete later probably

why does tumblr always talk about “scary” mental illnesses but then waters down the symptoms? my intrusive thoughts aren’t “uwu eat cardboard”? they’re things that can ruin friendships or horrible disgusting things that, if I posted them on here would probably get my called out. my impulses aren’t to go eat dirt, I get impulses to stab my eyes out. sure people can get things like eat cardboard but that’s not what a lot of ppl have to deal with?

I can't believe i'm posting this i'm going to regret
voice meme-turn your volume all the way off for best effect
I can't believe i'm posting this i'm going to regret

7. I’ll sing verses from a song

First of all, why do you want to hear me sing this is insane????? I’m not a singer. I don’t like people to hear me sing. It’s bad.

Second, H A M I L T O N ??? This is something I can’t do. Reason number one being I dont know the song. Reason number 2 being I listened to it and there is no way in hell I’d pull it off hahahah

Okay This song is called Dirty Man by Joss Stone and yeah welp I hate myself for posting this but oh well. Time to go die of embarrassment hahah

daryl: looks at jesus

anti: yeah well all desus shippers are homphobic fetishizers and daryl is straight kirkman confirmed it and besides c@rol is destined to marry daryl when he moves to the kindgom and obviously shiva symbolizes their future child and ezekiel is only platonically attracted to c@rol and actually it’s not just desus that's immoral everyone who daryl looks at is his platonic best friend except for c@rol of course because that's confirmed romantic as referenced in the cherokee rose scene and honestly why does anyone ship anything besides that no one is allowed to have fun and jesus could be bi okay maybe he’ll hookup with maggie or sasha and did i mention fetishization these people are not even progressive they’re fake gay rights activists it’s not like any of them could actually be queer themselves and they dont even care about real gay characters like *looks at scribble on hand* adam and evan. did i mention evan obviously he’s going to die and jesus will just hook up with adam. im saying this as a concerned citizen not because i've wasted seven years waiting for two people to hook up i’m not biased at all and—

i keep seeking friendships/connections that i will never have and that probably will never exist. i don’t have many irl friends, and the ones i have are busy to put it simply. we all got our own shit, they just have more for various reasons. my whole life i’ve felt like the throwaway friend. i’ve definitely never felt like i’m anyone’s best or closest friend. so on social media i try to create a bond that i don’t have with anyone (save for maybe my mama and my kids). but it doesn’t work here either. i’m still throw away. i feel like 5 people would notice if i disappeared tomorrow. and maybe that number would go up to 7. but by the weeks end it would max out around 9 or 10. i just hate feeling like i can’t connect. or that i’m not worth the connection. oh well…