ILIUM was a city located in modern day Turkey, better known as Troy. The city was brought to its knees and razed to the ground after a ten year long battle with the Greeks that is immortalised in Homer’s Iliad.
“Sing, goddess, the rage of Achilleus Pelides”. Here was a fun one. First line of the Iliad. If anyone’s wondering, I started with a Lattimore translation and adapted it, keeping Pelides and changing “anger” to “rage” because I think it sounds cooler.
Sing, O Muse, of the rage of Achilles, of Peleus’ son, murderous, man-killer, fated to die, sing of the rage that cost the Achaeans so many good men and sent so many vital, hearty souls down to the dreary House of Death. And while you’re at it, O Muse, sing of the rage of the gods themselves, so petulant and so powerful here on their new Olympos, and of the rage of the post-humans, dead and gone though they might be, and of the rage of those few true humans left, self-absorbed and useless though they may have become. While you are singing, O Muse, sing also of the rage of those thoughtful, sentient, serious but not so-close-to-human beings out there dreaming under the ice of Europa, dying in the sulfur-ash of Io, and being born in the cold folds of Ganymede.
Oh, and sing of me, O Muse, poor born-again-against-his-will Hockenberry—poor dead Thomas Hockenberry, Ph.D., Hockenbush to his friends, to friends long since turned to dust on a world long since left behind. Sing of my rage, yes, of myrage, O Muse, small and insignificant though that rage may be when measured against the anger of the immortal gods, or when compared to the wrath of the god-killer, Achilles.
On second thought, O Muse, sing of nothing to me. I know you. I have been bound and servant to you. O, Muse, you incomparable bitch. And I do not trust you, O Muse. Not one little bit.