ijust have a lot of feelings

anonymous asked:

i think i might be the loneliest 18 year old in the world.i haven't been to a party in years, ihardly hang out with people, ijust went travelling for a few months but now i am back with my family &will be leaving to go home soon but i don't really know anyone in this new place i am going to live and i have felt very very lonely for five years through out high school and thought i would feel it less now. i think i've lost a lot of people over the years&wow it hurts sometimes. how do i deal :(

little one, i am so sorry, being lonely is a vicious feeling to hold, my darling just, please keep trying, go to new places and smile at everyone, say hello to shopkeepers, try very hard to say yes to invites if you get them(if its safe for you). if you have anyone you care for, call them (im terrified of phonecalls bc of my anxiety but if i speak with my close friends i always feel safer and smile so much). keep them close and if you can, touch them, hug them, gently touch their arm from time to time, to feel a warm person (or animal) is so good for you, it helps so much!!!! but so does a warm cup of tea (or hot chocolate or coffee or milk) in your hands. 

but also little one, go to places that can be your own, if youre in the position to, visit galleries, look through your favorite kinds of shops, read chapters of books but dont buy them unless they feel warm, go to the cinema, wear your cutest clothes, walk through parks, see if you can find one of those stupid visiting farms that are really expensive, you can find them in cities and towns and the country (at least you can in england) and you can pet animals and sometimes feed them and talk quietly to them if there is no one around, and just spend all day there because animals are so so good and they will warm you. it might sound silly but keeping plants makes me feel less lonely? looking after them and helping them to grow, giving them the right amount of light and water and washing their leaves makes me feel so proud of them and so warm and i love them dearly like i would an animal. (if you can, which i know isnt possible for a lot of people, get a pet! holding my cat and having him love me HELPS SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!! whenever i cry he comes to me and nudges me. you could get a tiny one like a snail or fish to just keep safe and watch, or you could get a little hamster to stroke and feel the warmth of and hold close and help to feel happy. you could get a kind rabbit to cuddle! or ofc a cat or dog. pets are a huge responsibility, you have to be mentally well enough to feed and water and sometimes walk them so ofc dont get one on a whim, think think think but i would highly recommend getting a little friend) (OR making friends with a human who has a pet who you can visit!!!!!!!) (i know making friends is hard though!!!!!!!!!)

dance and dance and dance when you feel your worst. (this helps me so much, it wears down my anxious energy)

if youre in a built up area remember to visit parks, when i lived in the city i became awfully restless before i began walking to the park, id buy reduced berries and ride my bike to the park and find a quiet patch with trees and if you have a blanket take it, id sit against a tree and watch all of the dogs and birds and children and id draw if i wanted to or eat my berries and squish them all up until i stained my hand and sucked the drips off and ate them off my finger tips and sometimes photographed it, just for myself, because its calming to document things purely for yourself. perhaps start a journal, smear the berry juice on the pages and draw really crap drawings even if youre good at drawing. after bad days paper clip those pages closed so that you can look through and only see the good days. its good to think and process and grow, but not to linger on the sad 

my dear if you need help with all of this then, if in education they probably have some counseling program, use it.  Go to organisations like mind.org.uk (dont overlook how serious loneliness can be), ive used their services and theyre soooooo helpful, they have classes and therapy sessions and resources for miles and even cbt if you need it!!!!!!! and then if you do need it, talk to your doctor, they can help so much, theyre slow but they can help. and if you dont like your doctor, change them! and if youre female know that you can ask for a female doctor, no one will question you or look at you twice!

http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/loneliness/#.VoZh_baLRdg

baby, remember to eat well, and drink water, and wash yourself and get dressed everyday. these are things that when youre sad can be left but they are very important things, please try to do them. go outside every day for even five minutes, maybe get vitamin D supplements whilst its winter (i get horribly sad in the winter) 

little one, you are precious, so so so important i promise you. i care so much, so much, please if you would like to, you can talk with me, im not the best sometimes but i will try and ALWAYS care!

be safe baby, i hope youre feeling sweet and that you grow and grow and grow

I’m sorry but I cannot deal with all these people complaining that they’re not a big name. EVERYONE starts somewhere. I started with nothing and no one just like literally everyone.
You will not be popular overnight or even a month or probably even half a year. It takes time, actually interacting with people, and being yourself. Like….so what if you’re not a big name? You can still have tons of fun and enjoy yourself.
Why do you crave popularity and recognition soooo much. Why. Just have fun with your friends like everyone else. I just don’t get why this is such a continual issue. You’re supposed to be having fun and a good time, not worrying about not being noticed by a million people. I just…ugh. I get wanting friends but the constant buzz of “I feel under appreciated and no one likes me” seems a whole lot more like you just want recognition, not friends. No one owes you anything.