Jumpers - Squealing Santa 2k16

Author’s Note: Hi Dylan! Merry Christmas, Fren! You do know me on Tumblr, I do have a blog, but I figured it would be fun to remain anonymous for a while! I’ll reveal myself closer to Christmas! I hope you like it! From your Squealing Santa <3


“Hey, Cassandra! What’s shakin’?”

   The quiet flutter of wings and candy-scented breeze was enough to make Castiel roll his eyes pre-emptively. His fears were confirmed when he glanced up from the library table to see the blonde Archangel, who’s features were glinting with their usual impish spark.

“What do you want, Gabriel?”

“Yikes, a little cold, don’t you think? No ‘I’m pleased to you’s’?! Not even a hi?!”

“Why are you here?”

“Why have you got your feathers in a bunch? Don’t you know what day it is?”

   An irritated head-tilt seemed to be the only reply Cas was capable of giving.

“Alright, I’m feeling nice today, Ebenezer, so I’ll help ya out. It’s December 1st!”

   As soon as Scrooge’s first name was uttered, the younger angel turned and shut his lore book, a sigh huffing from his lips as he faced his brother with an exasperated death glare.

“Aw, come on! It’s the first day of advent, at least be a little festive.”

 And with his signature grin, Gabriel snapped his fingers. Castiel flinched at the noise, and glanced around warily – his arms folded when his eyes fell upon the golden tinsel that had been strewn haphazardly over the bookshelves. But when he noticed a garish blue jumper laying in Gabriel’s hands, Castiel had just about had enough. He stood from his position at the table.

“I am not participating in premature seasonal festivities. Especially considering Dean-“

“Don’t worry, I got your little human something too.” Gabriel revealed an ivy green jumper with intricate snowflake patterns incorporated all over, brandishing it with glee in front of his brother.

“Neither Dean nor myself will endure your…degrading wardrobe. Please, go and antagonise somebody else.”

“You don’t like the sweaters? Oh, Cassie, you’ve wounded me. You see, I conjured these up especially for you. It’d break my heart if you didn’t wear this. Besides, I figured the blue would really bring out your eyes, no?” The short angel cocked an eyebrow, eyes practically fizzing with mischief as he held up the cobalt-hued knitwear once more. Castiel tilted his head in disapproval, squinting at the chipper expression of the woollen snowman on the front.

“Gabriel, I-I don’t want to- I’m not wearing it.”

“Are you sure about that? Because I’m pretty sure I can convince you otherwise,”

“It’s the first of December, Gabriel.”

“Exactly, it’s practically Christmas already. Now, put on the jumper.” As a last-ditch attempt, Gabriel tossed the vibrant attire in his brother’s general direction. The trench-coated angel stepped out of its path, and barely glanced at the jumper as it landed on the floor.


“Oh, you are going to regret that. Whether you like it or not, you are wearing that sweater.”

   Suddenly Gabriel’s voice wasn’t coming from the opposite end of the table, but rather from right behind Castiel - he turned his head in fear as he felt a hand clamp onto his shoulder, however suddenly found himself rushing to greet the floor as the archangel leaped onto his back. He fell forwards fast, crashing to the floor and landing sprawled on his front, Gabriel seated on the lower part of his back.


“I’ve been curious about something, Cassie.”

“Let me go,” It came out sounding more of a plea than a command. Castiel could feel the grin radiating from the prankster above him as he attempted to remove himself from the floor to no avail. His heartbeat jumped when he realised that his arms had suddenly been fixed above his head.

“Only if you agree to wear my magnificent sweaters.”

“That’s not going to happen.”

“Are you quite sure? Because the question I have for you may very well persuade you otherwise.”

   A long pause followed as Castiel contemplated his options, heart racing. What was Gabriel planning? He wasn’t sure he wanted to find out.

“Not playing ball? Very well, then. I’ve been wanting to ask – are you still ticklish?”


   A million memories of his time in heaven flashed before Castiel. The angel was not willing to relive any of them.

“No, please-“But time was up. The sensation of a single finger zipping down his spine had Cas twitching into the floor with a yelp.

“Brilliant, you are. So, here’s the deal: I’ll stop tickling if you agree to wear that jumper.”

“G-Gabriel, I strongly advise-“

“Advising me? In this position? You’re just begging for it right now,” Suddenly Castiel felt the beginnings of a few sparks darting over his sides. He bit his lip, determined not to give in to the Archangel’s mojo,

“Sss-stop…” His breath hitched despite his best efforts. The invisible swirls of tickling Grace felt simultaneously like soft feather strokes and electrifying tingles that vibrated deep into his skin - it took everything in his power to keep from squeaking as the tendrils picked up their speed. His vessel’s nerves screamed under the ticklish assault, the sensation only amplifying when Gabriel decided to add a teasing remark.

“Too ticklish? Oh well. Now, if I recall, you had a bunch of really bad spots. Oh! Now I remember – you have loads of tickle buttons…yep, there’s the first one.” The Grace made a decisive swoop down both of Castiel’s sides before swirling over the spots just above his hips. Castiel was just on the verge of bursting into giggles when the electric tickles became more concentrated – it was as if the golden streaks of mojo were nuzzling into the two sweet spots, sending pulsating waves of ticklishness throughout his vessel.

And he was gone.

“G-Gahahabrihihiel! N-nohohoho!”

   Laughter began flowing from his smiling lips as he flailed helplessly, pinned between his brother and the concrete.

“Was that a ‘ho ho ho’? You’re finally getting into the spirit of things, I’m impressed! Now, please put the jumper on.”

“I-ihihi rehefuhuhuse!”

“Very well, then. Where was your second tickle button? Right above your bellybutton, I think…yup, that’s it.” The Trickster’s face lit up with a bright smile as his sibling’s laughter jumped up an octave.

   The feelings had abruptly migrated to Cas’ second weak spot, which left him wanting to curl into the floor. Tiny swirls of bubbling mojo stroked softly above his navel, sending him into a giggle fit he was worried he might not recover from. As much as he flailed, he couldn’t dim the sensations in the slightest.

“No-Ahahahahahaha! Stahahahahap!”

“No can do, Cassanova. You gotta agree to that sweater.”

 “P-Plehehea-“ A sudden flare in the intensity of the tickles caught Castiel off-guard, and his breath caught in his chest, producing a snort. This prompted a cackle from Gabriel, and the spark of mojo burrowed deeper into Castiel’s nerves, as if it wished to produce another snort from him.

And surprisingly enough, it did.

“AH! Gahahaha-“Snort. “Stop! Ahahaha-“ Snort. “Please! Nahahaha-“ Snort.

   This alone was enough to send Gabriel into a laughing fit of his own.

“Oh, little bro, this is too sweet! But I’m pretty sure this isn’t the spot, is it?”

Castiel’s eyes widened at the premise of Gabriel’s unstoppable Grace fluttering over his worst spot. He shuddered into the cool stone, face burning in embarrassment as more and more laughter poured from his lips.

“Dohohohon’t! Gahahahbrihihiel, I’ll doho anythihihihing!”

“Now we’re getting somewhere! So, say you’ll wear the jumper.”

“Ihihihi-GABRIEL!!” Just as he was halfway through his surrender, the golden tingles hopped to his worst spot. A shrill shriek echoed through the library as Castiel lost himself in his own laughter, tears pricking his eyes. The mojo was inescapable – zipping and darting and tasering and fluttering all over his shoulder blades and wings. Words escaped the angel’s grasp as the feelings consumed his vessel, blocking out coherent thought.

“IHIHIHIHIHIHI CAHAHAHAHAN’T! STAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” A couple of Enochian pleas slipped through into Castiel’s frantic laughter after a few seconds, and Gabriel reluctantly withdrew the teasing strokes of energy. The archangel smiled down at his giggling brother.

“So, you ready to wear my sweater?”

“Y-Yehehes, n-no mohore…”

  With a snap of his fingers, the garment materialised in place of Castiel’s trench coat. The younger seraph barely had energy to seem miffed, and merely lay limp against the floor. Gabriel teleported back to the table, sitting with his legs sprawled on the desk as he waited for his sibling to recover.

   Castiel stood shakily, arms clutching his torso protectively as he looked up to face his brother with a blush on his face. He glanced down at the Christmas jumper with distaste, however kept any further protests to himself.

“Ya know, I don’t think Dean-o will be too eager to put his jumper on. Care to assist me?” Gabriel smirked at the breathless man before him – a mess of blush and festive attire. He manifested a lollipop, the transparent wrapper drifting to the floor as he spoke.

“I-uh-I suppose that would be amusing, yes.”

“Great! Then let’s go.” With that, the two holy beings disappeared from sight, off to spread early Christmas cheer, whether their friends liked it or not.

   Needless to say, everyone in The Bunker sported a jubilant sweater by the end of the week.

I can’t even go shopping without a gun stuffed in my purse. I guess we’re famous now, people are starting to hunt us down. But we’re much too good for any other gang to take us down, right?