ignore-this!-d:

She’s a sweetheart! She said, “Let’s do it!” And I’m like, “I’m ready!” First of all, I always wanted to see her show. I was in Miami, and she opened the door, and I said, “Of course, let’s have fun.” She goes, “Rick, I’ve always wanted to sing ‘Livin’ La Vida Loca.’ Can we do it?” I’m like, “Okay, we’ll do whatever you want.” And she looked so beautiful and sexy. She was so cool. It was a very special night. I was flattered to be part of the team.
—  Ricky Martin on performing with Taylor Swift on her 1989 tour stop in Miami and what’s it like being in the squad (People.com, November 2015)
10

Whoops, my hand slipped

(Previous redraws for those who’re interested)
1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5

3

Season 4 anyone? :P

dating jeon jungkook.

- laziness

- lots of laziness packaged into one relationship

- “jungkook, can you pass me the cereal please?”

- “um,,,, do you not see,,,,, it’s five feet away from me? ur fresh outta luck”

- y’all don’t do SHIT sometimes

- the boys will call up like we’re coming over okay! we love you be ready!

- and they walk into the house and jungkook is in just sweats and there are old chip bags everywhere and you have some popcorn and a book and a blanket and the tv is running but the remote is like on the floor twenty feet away

- “oh hey guys”

- they’re used to it honestly

- and all the SHENANIGANS

- the first time namjoon EVER used the word hooligans

- you and jungkook pranked him and put salt in his milk (lmao so hardcore)

- and he just :) 

- “get out”

- “this is our apartment-”

- “OUT you hooligans”

- y’all get noise complaints called on you ALL The damn time

- jungkook finds it funny to fucking scream if he loses mario kart

- no joke he always chooses daisy and he’s surprised when he loses

- and before you know it you got three letters taped to your door telling you to shut the fuck up and just let the kid damn win next time

- but ur last strike was because of sex rip

- speaking of

- EVERYONE TRYNA SAY JUNGKOOK DADDY DADDY DOM DOM!

- HAVE YOU SEEN THE BOY

- the boy RUNS from women 

- if u a guy u in luck jungkook prob daddy dom then but on the other end

- he may look like a sex god but he awkwardly huddles in the corner of an elevator when a woman walks in so

- SO THAT BEING SAID THE BOY IS ACTUALLY PROBABLY A SWITCH LOL

- definitely more submissive tho this boy is DTF and he will literally melt at your fingertips

- not too vocal but really likes to let you know how much he’s truly enjoying it because this boy gets INTO SEX LIKE WOW

- sweaty forehead, heavy breathing, half moan-groans

- isn’t big on praise early in the relationship but he geTS INTO IT 

- calls u prince(ss) when he decides on a rare occasion to dom

- will make sure ur treated WAY before himself

- brings home random stray puppies and you just

- “jungkook,,,,,,,,, no”

- “jungkook,,,,,,,,,,,,,, yes”

- likes gfriend more than he’ll admit

- seokjin treats you two like fuckin 2 year olds

- callin you every day like “don’t forget to brush ur teeth!”

- and jungkook is so :) 

- he ignored one of jin’s calls once

- and before you know it there’s angry knocking at your door at jungkook opens the door and jin is 

- :D did you :D ignore my call?

- and jungkook goes from :) to     :    )    real quick

- likes to flex after working out and act all macho

- and then u tickle him and he’s begging for mercy

- movie marathons end in popcorn fights and lazy makeout sessions complete with falling asleep under a half-assed pillow fort

- sweetie who is a little shy to hold your hand in public but at home he’ll be so far up your ass in  a non-sexual way that has it so that people can’t differentiate the two

- gets emotional sometimes bc of how much he loves you honestly

- really sweet boyfriend overall just put up with his shit and he’ll love you forever (as will the boys)

anonymous asked:

So there's this post going around st*ny circles that basically says as a "burn", oh everyone's comparing Steve Trevor to Steve Rogers but "at least Trevor was a real captain" and lmfao what the fuck, do these morons not realize Cap is an actual fucking captain as well. It's not a fucking ~title~ or stage name, it's his goddamn rank, he's O-3 and he earned it because THAT IS HOW WARTIME PROMOTIONS WENT jfc. Ugh. Sorry for the impromptu rant in your inbox, I'm just fed up with this ignorant shit.

I’d be pissed along with you (normally I am whenever I encounter Steve hate) but I’m too amused at their ignorance. Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face! LOL! When you try so hard to be a hater, but end up looking like an idiot because you got your facts so incredibly wrong.

In other words, you are 100% correct, Anon, and the people who made and are reblogging that post are 100% wrong. Steve was a legit Captain.

Rank insignia for army officers, including the rank of Captain…

Steve Rogers in full army dress uniform circa Captain America: First Avenger

It’s called a field promotion or battlefield promotion. And when you skip a rank it’s called a jump-step promotion. Very common during WW1 and WW2, in fact, very common right up to the Vietnam War when such commissions were replaced by a centralized promotion system. 

According to the army website: “Battlefield promotions are predicated on extraordinary performance of duties while serving in combat or under combat conditions.”

Which is how Steve was awarded the promotion.

More on the practice of battlefield commissions: “A battlefield commission is awarded to enlisted soldiers who are promoted to the rank of commissioned officer for outstanding leadership on the field of battle. The granting of a battlefield commission has its historical predecessor in the medieval practice of the knighting or ennoblement of a plebeian combatant on the battleground for demonstration of heroic qualities in an exceptional degree.”

You know what the irony of this situation is? Years ago, circa 2009, a movie came out featuring a young soon-to-be Captain who was promoted in a very similar fashion to the way Steve Rogers was promoted by the end of the movie, i.e. skipping rank to be granted the commission of Captain after leading a courageous mission against a serious threat. That character was James T. Kirk, who, incidentally, was played by Chris Pine. And I once defended Kirk’s promotion in a similar way to the way I’m defending Steve’s rank now, as Kirk, like Rogers, is one of my all-time favorite characters.

I think I must be destined to a life of defending young Captains played by actors named Chris from imbeciles who don’t bother to check their facts before making ridiculous posts. :D

still perkin’ (full)

A/N: this is based on a filthy request for morning sex and dirty talk, so i hope y’all pervs enjoy it xoxo


He’s hard. You feel it against your ass as you start to wake up. The morning sun spills through the cracked curtains and stirs you from your sleep. But you’re definitely not the only thing stirring, you think stupidly to yourself as you feel Shawn’s harden length nuzzled against you. His arm flexes, tightening around you as he snuffles in his sleep.

Biting your lip, you turn your head carefully to look over your shoulder at him. He’s absurdly adorable lying there with his cheeks flushed slightly, his chest rising and falling with the steady rhythm of his breath. You want to wake him up.

You turn your head away from him again and bury your face in your pillow once more. Normally you’d ignore either ignore this or grip Shawn’s shoulder to wake him up as you wrapped a hand around him. That’s not how you wanna do things this morning, though.

Instead, you wiggle your hips slowly before pushing back against him and pressing your ass tightly to his cock. You want to moan a bit, but instead you bite your pillow and focus on rolling your hips in a steady motion. You press back then forward, back then forward, over and over as you grind into him to tease his cock.

You hear Shawn’s low grunts behind you, groans into the back of your neck as both of his strong arms hold you to him so he can start rocking his own hips, fucking his cock against the soft globe of your ass.

You can’t stop yourself from moaning when, on a particularly delicious grind of your own hips back, his cock slips between the full cheeks of your ass. He rocks forward and his balls press up against your cunt.

That’s when you can’t help it. You moan, loudly, as your hands find his forearms and you grip them tightly, nails digging into his skin.

With that, you feel Shawn freeze behind you. You know he’s awake now, blinking open his bleary eyes and looking down at you.

You let out a shaky breath and push your ass back, tilting your hips forward enough so your slick pussy presses against his cock. “Shawn,” you murmur, voice scratchy from sleep, “Please.”

“Shit, babe,” he growls as drops his head forward, nuzzling into your neck as his grip  on you tightens.

He kisses his way up to your ear before he chuckles, “Swore this was a dream,” then kisses the back of your neck and slides the head of his cock along the length of your slit, stopping to grind against your clit.

You moan and let your head fall back a bit, giving him access to your collarbone from over your shoulder. His lips are all over you as he teases your clit, forcing soft moans from your lips as you ache for more.

“Please, c’mon,” you urge, again, now that he’s absolutely awake.

He laughs again but only because he’s in awe of you. He lets you know, says, “Can’t believe you’re as eager for me as I am for you, sweetheart,” then starts sucking at your jaw as his cock slips back from your clit, teasing your entrance.

You don’t hesitate to roll your hips back and sink down onto his cock. Moaning, you dig your nails into his arms as you take what you need from him.

“Fucking…” you feel him breathe against your throat as you keep pressing back against him. Your cunt clutches his cock, taking him deeper and deeper and until he bottoms out, your ass flush against his hips.

He pulls his head away from you as you grinding steadily against him, fucking yourself on his cock with your head pressed back against his shoulder. He looks down, watches you, lets you take whatever you need from him. His cock twitches as your pussy grips him, your velvety walls stroking his hard shaft perfectly.

He tells you so.

“Jesus– baby, look at you. Fuck. Your pussy is so good– you feel so fucking perfect on my cock.”

His hands are moving as he speaks, one gliding across your skin to grip your hip, guiding your tight little rocking motions, while the other pushes up your stomach to cup one of your breasts. He brings his forefinger and thumb to your taut nipple, pinching it teasingly as he starts to move his own hips.

“Let me help, sweetheart,” he starts again, his head tilting back down so he can press his lips to your ear, “let me help you come all over my cock. Wanna make you come so good, please?” He kisses the back of your neck, starts to fuck his hips a little faster, “You know I can make you come baby. I can make your pussy feel so good.”

You moan at that, nodding before begging, “Please fuck me, Shawn, please,” and arching your back, your hips stilling with your ass pressed firmly against him, cock buried to the hilt in your cunt.

Shawn growls, always loving when you beg him for something he’s already begging you for. Then his hands are moving again as he pushes you however he wants you like he always does when you let him fuck you like this.

This time he gets his hand on your ass and pushes you forward onto your stomach. The hand on your breast instead finds the back of your shoulder as he presses you down into the mattress. He slides his cock out of you as he rolls over, pressing his chest to your back as he lets his hard length slip between the soft globes of your ass. You moan before biting down on the pillow, pushing your hips off the bed to press your ass against him as you try desperately to get his cock back inside of you.

He starts talking again.

“God, baby, you want my cock so bad, don’t you?” He shifts on top of you, his dick slipping down to your pussy, pressing against your entrance. “I know you love being full of me, love when your cunt stretches around my cock. You take me so fuckin’ well baby,” and then he’s rolling his hips forward, sinking himself into your wet heat as your bodies finally press together.

You moan, loud and wanton into the pillow as you grip the bed sheets beside you. Shawn’s breathing heavily atop you, clutching your hip as he starts grinding his cock in and out of you, keeping a slow, rolling rhythm that has your heart nearly beating out of your chest. You feel your juices soak the insides of your thighs as your pussy grips him, and that makes you moan even more, not caring Shawn might have neighbors that would absolutely hear you.

He’s not being quiet himself, murmuring, “Yeah, yeah, baby, that’s it, taking my cock so good, shit,” as he shifts his hips and finds your g-spot with each deep stroke of his dick. He’s holding you down so good, keeping your legs tight together with his own on either side, and each pass of his cock into your cunt slides against your ass and makes your toes curl.

“You wanna come down, babe, don’t you? Please, let me make you come, wanna feel you so bad,” Shawn’s practically whining into your ear, his hand slipping from your ass to the front of your hip, pulling you up against him so there’s no space between your back and his chest.

You turn your head on the pillow to look back at him over your shoulder before you keen for him, “Please,” drawing the word out on a breathy moan. Shawn growls at the sound, and with that, his fingers find your clit between your slick pussy lips and press down. His hips move faster, fucking his cock into your harder, and he stops the messy slip and slide of fingertips against your nub to work your nerves properly. He slips his index and ring fingers on either side of your swollen hood, then slips the tip of his middle finger back over your hard, arching nub, because he knows how the direct stimulation knocks the air from your lungs.

Your scream is silent as you come around his cock, jaw dropping as you bury your head in the pillow and let your hips move erratically. You can’t stop yourself from working your hips back, sinking your cunt deeper and deeper onto Shawn’s cock as you chase the wave of heat that radiates through you with your orgasm.

Shawn, on his part, can’t hold himself together anymore. He fingers keep rubbing your clit, flicking the tight bud, as his hips slap your ass. His mouth is moving, babbling about how fucking good you feel coming for him, how wet you’re getting his cock, how bad he needs to fucking come.

“Let me come, let me come,” he begs from behind you, rocking into you harder as you feel his cock twitch inside your sensitive cunt.

Catching your breath, you turn your head back against and look up at him. Nodding, you murmur, “Shawn, please,” and roll your hips back, spreading your thighs as much as you can trapped beneath him. “Come for me, baby, c’mon,”

And with that, he’s gone, biting down on your shoulder as he buries his cock inside of you and comes, spilling himself inside your pussy as you clench your muscles around him, holding him inside of you. You roll your hips, wanting to feel him like that, not wanting him to pull out until he’s completely done.

Eventually, his hips slow to a stop as he keeps himself pressed against you, panting against your neck as the aftershocks of his orgasm pass through him. The room smells like sex and your heavy breathing echoes through the room. You don’t mind the weight of him on top of your like this, you almost like being smothered. All you can smell is him. You love that.

But eventually he’s rolling off of you, getting off the bed and going to get a towel to clean you up like he always does. You’ve never had to ask. You press your ass up, wiggling your hips a little as he swipes the warm rag between your thighs. You hear him laugh, low in his throat, and you have to stop yourself from getting turned on again.

Suddenly, Shawn’s sex flushed, sweaty body is collapsing on top of you again. You feign protest, wiggling around beneath him until he yields only slightly, lets you flip around beneath him so you’re on your back and looking up at him. He pushes a hand into your hair, and his fingertips stroke your scalp like he always does after you let him come inside of you. You let out a soft, happy sigh and close your eyes.

“And a good morning to you, too,” you hear Shawn chuckle before his lips are on yours, kissing you properly like he’s promised to do every morning for as long as you’ll let him.

He’d locked himself in his room, sure. He’d ignored their summons for him, yeah.

…But he’d never expected this. Not… not by a long shot. He thought… he thought he wouldn’t be missed, that the others wouldn’t even notice his disappearance. 

But no, here they were, invading his space and… checking on him?

God, if they figured out how his room worked- he winced. No good thinking about that, no, nope, not going down that road today.

“…Anxiety? Logic called. “Anxiety, we know you’re in here somewhere.” 

He sighed. Might as well show himself. It’d be best to get it over with quicker…

He sunk up.

“Well well well. If it isn’t Alvin and the Chipmunks come to grace me with their presence. What are you doing here?”

They all looked down, with the exception of Thomas (who was uncharacteristically carefree, gazing around the room with curiosity painted upon his face).

“Um, um, Anxiety, well- we were- we just wanted to say-” Logic started in, before the unthinkable happened- Pat leaped in front of him, and- 

“HELLO DARKNESS MY OLD FRIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEND!!~”

“Mo, what-”

“WE’VE COME TO TALK WITH YOU AGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN-”

“Patton, what the absolute fuck?”


((shitpost requested by @velocifoxy, tag list: @evilmuffin, @the-sanders-sides, and @mira-jadeamethyst))

BTS Reaction - Another Member Teasing You Because You Couldn’t Walk Thinking You Had A Rough Night

CONTEXT

You grabbed your back in pain as your muscles ached all over. It felt like your body was on fire scolding you all over. You’d really gone hard on your daily workout and now you had to face the after math. Hanging out with your boyfriend and his friends it was difficult to hide the affects of your gym session…

Seokjin - Jin had been watching you struggle ever since you came over his house. He’d wonder what you’d done to make yourself feel that way and wondered whether to ask you about it when Namjoon blurted out, “Had a rough night I see?” Jin would blush bright red even though he knew the both of you hadn’t done anything of the kind last night. He’d ignore Namjoon’s comment and walk up to you to see if everything was okay. When you’d tell him it was because of your workout, he’d immediately be concerned for you. He’d make sure you’d heal as quickly as possible by buying you hot packs and giving you massages whenever you asked.

Originally posted by rapdaegu

Yoongi - When he noticed you stiffly making your way over to where he sat on the sofa, he’d raise an eyebrow at you questioningly. He helped you sit down thinking about the possible reasons why you looked the way you did. However, he wasn’t the only one who had noticed your stance as Hoseok, who was sitting the other side of you, nudged you with his elbow, “Now, I know Yoongi likes it rough,” he’d laugh. Yoongi’s eyes would go wide and he’d glance at you, knowing the both you hadn’t done anything more than kissing the night before. Once you reassured him that it was due to your workout, he’d be amused and tease you along with the other members.

Originally posted by syubto

Hoseok - Would have been concerned with you from the first minute he’d laid his eyes on you. Being the loving boyfriend he is, he’d follow you around the whole time asking you if you were okay or needed help with anything. However, the other boys, not knowing you’d been working out, would take the opportunity to tease you. Yoongi would shout from where he sat, “I didn’t know you liked it rough, Y/N?” Hoseok would immediately be at your defence and grab the nearest cushion and throw it in Yoongi’s direction, telling him to mind what he says. He’d rub your back and cuddle you all night, in hopes of making you feel better.

Originally posted by hohbi

Namjoon - Namjoon had been working late in the studio working on his rap lyrics and had told you to go on without him to the get together with his other members. When he finally made it to you guys, the first thing he noticed was the boys teasing you. The laughter would die down once they saw him and Jin would be the first to speak, “Y/N’s having trouble walking, how rough did you go on her Joon?” Namjoon’s face would scrunch up, confusion evident on his face. He’d walk over to you and grab your hand before dragging you out of the room. Before he could say anything you’d cut him off, “Joon, it’s fine. I pushed myself too hard in the gym.” He’d sigh in relief and turn into ‘Protective Boyfriend Namjoon’

Originally posted by ksjknj

Jimin - Jimin would notice instantly that something wasn’t right. He’d watch you walk around tenderly, his mind racing for answers. He was just about to ask if you’d hurt yourself when Taehyung spoke up, “Jimin you really shouldn’t go so hard on her, she can hardly walk!” It would take him a minute to process what Tae had just said, and then his face would turn to stone. He’d walk over to you rashly asking the question that was on his mind, “Who is he?” Before he could go on a rant, you’d place your hands on his shoulders and explain that it was all a big misunderstanding. He’d turn bright red and sheepishly apologise for jumping to conclusions.

Originally posted by bwipsul

Taehyung - You’d be sitting on the sofa with Taehyung and Jungkook watching the both of them play Overwatch. You yawned, getting bored of the game and Tae noticed. He’d pause the game and tease you about it, playfully tickling you. You’d flinch back when he touched your sore spot and Jungkook would notice, smirking at you, “Did Tae go too rough last night?” Taehyung would be confused and stare at you for a while before saying, “But we didn’t have sex last night… Did we?” You turn bright red and reassure him that you’d just worked hard in the gym. He’d ask if he could help in anyway fussing you around for the rest of the day

Originally posted by donewithjeon

Jungkook - The both of you’d gone to the gym together that morning and Jungkook being Jungkook decided to become your personal trainer. He pushed you further than you’d gone before causing you to ache all over. When you’d met with the rest of the boys later you could hardly walk and leaned on Jungkook for support. The boys would notice immediately, whispering and giggling among themselves until Jimin finally spoke up, “I don’t think I wanna know what you two were up to last night…” Jungkook would laugh at the boys for thinking the two of you actually did something last night. He’d reassure them that it was just from the gym and gloating that if the both had done it last night, you would be even more crippled than you were now.

Originally posted by nnochu

Admin Reflection - Hope you enjoy! hopefully we’ll have another request done tomorrow! Nearly have 700 followers already, thank you so much!

Do not engage. Do not look directly at it. Do not react to it. Just keep walking through the forest. Never be alone. Your guide is knowledgeable, cheap, and trustworthy.

You made it through, the guide turns into a horrific beast. You can avoid being surprised by noticing that the guide looks to the side with a perception check.

You make it through without incident, following the guides orders.

You make a mistake and fight a frightening forest creature.

You purposefully look for the monster, the guide abandons you. When you make it out, you notice the old man is not back yet. He never comes.

A woman comes up to your group from off the path. “Excuse me, can I travel with you? I lost my group…” You notice the guide ignores her completely.

When a completely new player wants to join the party of low-level characters, let their character as many hitpoints as they would have on the average level of the party. Then skip the HP improvement until they reach this level. That way, they can start at Level 1, not having to learn a ton of features, but still won’t die so easily without the DM making it seem like the monsters are kind of ignoring them. 

New personality quiz tag yourself

a. “he’s obviously wearing a short sleeve shirt? wtf”
b. pretends to enjoy the mystery but secretly knows he’s wearing a short sleeve shirt
c. completely convinced there are no sleeves, maybe no shirt whatsoever and we’ve been lied to this whole time
d. ignoring all of this