It is no secret that I have been suffering from a case of the blahs where my training is concerned.  Finally, I had a breakthrough and I am already feeling realigned with my goals.  I spoke to a mentor of mine this morning seeking guidance in a moment of pure frustration at work.  She said “Ignore the noise.  Keep your eye on the prize.  Take things one action at a time.”  Now, while we were not talking about my training, I realized right away that I have been allowing negative self talk to dominate the conversation, rather than allowing those thoughts to pass through.  I have reacted to the negative thoughts with more negative thoughts. The not good enough thoughts, the not fast enough thoughts, blah blah blah.  It is all just noise.  None of it is true and should not dictate my actions.   Here is to ignoring the noise!  I had to stop myself from doing a hard workout tonight to make up for a missed workout earlier this week.  I am running 22 miles in the morning.  It is time to kick up my feet and rest.  Ignore the noise!

One of my mantras is “You cannot change people, you can only change your reaction to them”.  We do not control others, we only control our reactions to them.  My other mantra is “You cannot argue the truth”.  The truth is what it is.  If someone disagrees with you about facts, it is useless to argue with them over the facts. The truth emerges without arguing.  These mantras have helped guide me through some pretty difficult situations.  I will add “Ignore the noise” to the list.

22 miles in the morning.  23 days to the LA marathon! 

Sugakookie Meet Pt 1.

For @the-orgasmic-cypher    ((Actually, I’ve always loved the prompt “no one ever tells me we have company and when I came downstairs in batman boxers and a shirt saying “say hey if you’re gay,” you were in my kitchen and said hey” or something like that (jungkook in iron man boxers tho hahahahah))

Jeongguk groaned as he pried his eyes open. The sun had just started peeking through the curtains, a slice of blinding light landing directly across his face. He shifted in the bed in an attempt to avoid the loss of vision for life and tried to fall back asleep, all the while ignoring the loud dragon noises coming from his stomach and the raging morning wood that demanded to relieve his bladder.

Twenty minutes later, his bladder won the fight. With another exasperated grunt, he kicked off the blankets and shuffled off to the bathroom. No one should have to up this damn early on a Sunday. It’s the day of rest, God damn it!

Once his bladder was happy, it was time to feed the beasts that were blatantly brawling in his stomach. He paused at the mirror to ruffle through the deep red locks he was still getting used to. He still can’t remember how he allowed Taehyung to tackle him with a bowl of color. But it wasn’t so bad.

He stumbled down the stairs as quietly as he could, waking up his roommates this early meant certain death. Namjoon did NOT like being woken up at the ass crack of dawn. He was such a night owl and spent most nights working until dawn anyways. And Taehyung was just so LOUD, even in the morning. Jeongguk did not want to deal with that just yet.

The stairs lead straight into the kitchen, but at the bottom of the stairs, Jeongguk stopped short, one foot hovering above the wood flooring. Someone was in the kitchen and it was not one of his roommates. Confused, he remained standing on the last step for a few moments longer. No one had mentioned anyone coming over. Why didn’t anyone ever tell him when company was coming over?!

A small blond guy in sweatpants and a t shirt that were a few sized too big, was fiddling with their coffee pot.

Jeongguk spared a quick look down at his own appearance. He was still in the clothes he slept in, his favorite Iron Man boxers worn so thin they were nearly see through, and an old stretched tank top. The tank had been a gag gift from Taehyung their freshman year. It was black with large, bold white letters stating “Say Hey If You’re Gay.” Taehyung had given him some outrageous eyebrow wiggles to go along with the gift and mentioned something about it helping Kookie find a boyfriend. After two years, he was still love free and doing just fine, thank you very much. It probably was not the best statement when meeting someone for the first time, but he was just too hungry to go back upstairs.

In the few moments that Jeongguk had been contemplating coming back later, the small man in his kitchen was still messing with the coffee pot. He seemed to be trying to figure out which button turned it on, grumbling to himself as he peered at the appliance. Jeongguk finally decided to help and walked up to press the brew button.

The sudden appearance of a hand in front of his face startled the tiny blond and he jerked back, glaring at the taller boy hovering over him.

“Uh, sorry,” Jeongguk stammered, shrinking back from the slicing gaze of the stranger. Up close, Jeongguk was slightly dazed by the flawless beauty of this unexpected guest. “Um, I’m Jeongguk.” He offered awkwardly, cheeks warm and stomach in uncomfortable knots.

The other man eyed him for a moment, glancing up and down before greeting Jeongguk with a smirk and two simple words. “Yoongi. Hey.”

Be still, Sassenach; I’ll take care of ye.”
There was a definite note of amusement in the voice, which irritated me enough to open my eyes again. I caught a brief glimpse of Jamie’s face, intent on mine, before vision vanished once again in the folds of an immense white handkerchief.
He wiped my face thoroughly, ignoring my strangled noises of protest and impending suffocation, then held the cloth to my nose.
“Blow,” he said.
—  I love little moments like these when Jamie and Claire simple care for each other when the other is weak or vulnerable. This moment in voyager comes after Jamie saved Claire from drowning and hung onto her until they reached land. Voyager is such an amazing journey for them, and they finally can take care of each other once more after years of loneliness. Jamie simply reaches out and loves Claire when she is struggling, even if it’s only from a stuffy nose, it is symbolic of so much more in their relationship. 

“I swear I don´t even know why family weekend was invented. Bunch of parents come at you angrily because their kids think you are too mean… Guess what? The bloody world can be too mean and if you are not prepared for it. Well there´s not much of a chance, am I right?… Besides constructive critisism is not bullying. I build professional dancers not whinney brats that will fail” She said while talking on her phone while she walked around the dance studio, stretching a little every now and then. “it’s a tad ridiculous, don´t you think? I mean what is this kindergarden or an Uni with young adults?” She said, her british accent seemed to come off stronger when she was frustrated about something. “I have to go I need to work. Okay. bye bye” She said and plugged her phone to the speakers and took a small breath as the song started. Alessandra closed her eyes for a second as the song started, and started moving along the melody and the idea that she created in her mind. Her movements being soft and strong at the same times, giving the emotioned needed as she kept swaying around like she walked on thin air.

Do you ever just sit in complete silence?

Well you think it’s silent until you notice tiny little back ground noises like the wind outside or your radiators bubbling?
Then you put your fingers in your ears.
It seems silent.
But then you hear the white noise or high pitched humming in your head.
So you don’t concentrate on that, you still try to find the silence.
You focus.
Only to find other noises like the creaking of the joints in your fingers that you hear even at the slightest of movements.
You squeeze your eyes shut and ignore the noises you’ve become familiar with.
Then you notice a rushing sound, as if you’re hearing a flooded river in your head, waves lapping.
It’s your blood.
It’s your blood running through your veins.
And you can’t begin to imagine how fast it must be pumping through your body, how much of it you have and how much your little heart is working, non-stop, 24/7, just so you can see the light of day?

Do you ever just sit… And try to find the silence?
Well, it’s not really there, never is, never will be.
But one day, we will sit in silence, we will find it, without any high pitched humming in our head, joints creaking or blood flowing.
For one day we won’t have a head to hum, joints to creak or blood to flow.
And that will be the day we are engulfed by the silence, we will see the silence, feel the silence… become the silence.

VERSE : The Park is Closed - TheAlphaRaptor

Months had  p a s s e d  since Jurassic World had closed its massive wooden gates. Already, nature was beginning to reclaim what man had tried so foolishly to control. Vegitation was growing over the buildings of Main Street, and fences were failing and collapsing. In nature’s wake, a new world had opened itself up for  E c h o  and her sister.
It wasn’t easy, scavenging in a predator’s world, but the raptor duo was staying alive against all odds, picking off carcasses left behind by the larger predators or taking out smaller prey. Alpha had taught them well. Blue was arguably fairing better than  E c h o,  but the battle-scarred Omega wasn’t about to give up on life so easily. Dispite the infected wounds on her back, she was getting around alright.
It was a freak storm that had  s e p e r a t e d  the siblings nearly a fortnight ago, the epic battle between thunder and lightning deafening and blinding them both, and in turn, they’d lost one another in the confusionE c h o  found herself back at their paddock, somewhere familiar at last. Even after all the time that had passed, the smell was the same: welcoming, comforting,  h o m e. She collapsed at the gate, a heavy grunt and tired  s i g h  leaving her body.
She hadn’t remembered dozing off, but when she woke, it was to the  d i s t a n t  sound of a rumbling engine in the distance. She shot to her feet, eyes locked on the general direction of the noise. She  s n i f f e d,  but couldn’t pick up on anything but the smell of rubber on gravel and  g a s o l i n e.  She found herself  b a c k i n g  into the long grass nearby,  g a z i n g  down the path to watch what would approach.