Up All Night
Summary: Dan can’t sleep. Normally, this only ever happens when he’s having another one of his infamous existential crisis’ or he’s had one too many biscuits before bed. Tonight, however, that is not the case.
Word Count: 2.5k
Genre: Fluff (+ a bit of angst if you squint)
Note: i started writing this before dan rebranded and i’m too much of a lazy ass to go and change it, so his username is still ‘danisnotonfire’ in this story.——————–
Dan can’t sleep. Normally, this only ever happens when he’s having another one of his infamous existential crisis’ or he’s had one too many biscuits before bed. Tonight, however, that is not the case.
Earlier while Dan was scrolling through the “danisnotonfire” tag on tumblr, he came across a lot of posts about phan. This isn’t unusual, of course. Hell, pretty much everyone and their grandmother ships it. Typically, he would just ignore all of these posts, but for some reason today he decided it would be a good idea to take look at all of these ridiculous discussions and edits.
It wasn’t a good idea.
At first, he thought it really was funny to see what people had to say about Dan and Phil’s supposed relationship. People analyzing their tweets, speculating when they’re getting married, and all of the theories about 2009 were quite amusing, to say the least.
The more Dan scrolled though, the more he second guessed himself. Almost all of the theories were far stretched and absolutely unbelieveable, but some of them left him thinking. The more “heart eyes howell” posts he saw, the more he started to notice that sometimes he wasn’t just making friendly eye contact. He won’t deny that he may or may not have maybe fancied Phil a bit back when he was 18, but that was a very long time ago and it was more of a fanboy obsession than a crush. Right?
And that brings us to now. Dan has been pacing the length of his room for what must be hours now. He tried to get to sleep, really he did, but it looks like that isn’t happening anytime soon. His brain just won’t shut up about Phil’s stupid gorgeous ocean eyes, man you could go swimming in them. No, he can’t think like that. Phil is Dan’s best friend, and you can’t just think about your platonic best friend like that. Even if that platonic best friend has perfect silky smooth raven hair and the most gorgeous smile in the entire univ-
Dan’s thoughts are interrupted by the soft creak of his bedroom door followed by the voice of a tired Phil. Dan has always loved Phil’s sleepy voice. Even when he only heard it through a shitty laptop microphone during late night Skype calls back in 2009, he could still pick up on the little bit of northern-ness that slips through. He finds it truly endearing.
“Hey,” Dan replies almost completely inaudibly, although now that Phil’s awake, there’s really no one else to wake up unless their neighbors have super hearing.
“Why’re you still awake?” Phil asks standing in the doorway to Dan’s bedroom. “It’s nearly 4am, you really shouldn’t be up this late,”
“Wouldn’t it be ‘up this early?’” Dan remarks with a sardonic tone.
Dan can’t really make out Phil too well in the dark, but he can tell that he rolls his eyes.
“That’s not the point,”
“I’m just thinking,” Dan half lies to Phil, hoping he takes it as another one of Dan’s existential crisis’ and just goes back to bed.
“Okay..” Phil says sounding extremely unconvinced. That’s one of the worst things about spending basically every second of his life with Phil, Dan thought. He can always tell when he’s lying.
Phil doesn’t turn around and go back to his room like Dan hoped he would. Instead, he strides out of the doorway and further into the room. When he gets about an arm’s length away from where Dan had stopped pacing, he holds out his hand.
First, Dan is just confused and ends up staring at Phil’s pale hand for a good 5 seconds before looking up to meet his expecting eyes. Then, Dan hesitantly grabs onto the extended hand not knowing where this situation is leading.
Suddenly, he’s being practically dragged out of his room and out into the hallway of their flat. Phil turns their bodies toward his room and Dan chooses to ignore the frenzy of butterflies that erupt in his stomach.
“You guys are just friends,” Dan thinks quietly to himself “I’m sure whatever reason I’m being pulling into Phil’s room is completely reasonable and platonic. Get your mind out of the gutter.”
Phil opens the door, brings them both into his room, and shuts it behind them, never breaking the hold that he has on Dan’s hand. Then, walks over to his bed and sits down on the edge of his mattress with a quiet squeak. After what seems like an eternity, he finally lets go and rolls over so that he’s laying on his side.
Now what is he supposed to do? His best friend just walked into his room in the middle of the night and brought him into his room, only to jump onto his bed and lay down like no one else is there. After about 30 seconds of awkward silence, Phil turns around to face Dan, reaching out his arms and making grabby hands.
Dan’s eyes widen and he starts to feel some heat rising to his cheeks, which he hopes Phil isn’t able to notice in the dim light of the room. He and Phil had shared a bed before, why is this time any different then all the other times they’ve done it? Maybe it’s because he still can’t get Phil’s sharp cheekbones and kissable lips off of his mind.
Dan has imagined what it’d be like to kiss Phil before. He imagines his kiss would be as kind and gentle as his personality. He’s even fantasized what it would taste like. Sweet strawberries and happiness. Of course, this was back before he had even started talking to Phil. When he was just a naive teenager watching through a cheap laptop screen. He would never think about Phil like that now. No way.
Dan tries to push these thoughts to the very back of his head as he begins to climb up next to Phil on the bed, careful not to lie too close.
Despite Dan’s effort to leave a large amount of space between the two of them, Phil scoots closer and looks straight into Dan’s mocha colored eyes. It takes all of Dan’s strength not to just lean in and kiss him right then and there. There’s still a decent distance between their bodies, but Dan can still feel the body heat radiating off of Phil.
They stare for less than a minute, but to Dan it feels like hours. Phil’s bright eyes clashing against Dan’s much darker ones. Dan wonders how someone’s eyes can contain so many different shades at once. Though his eyes were mostly a deep abyss of sky blue, Dan could see many swirls of green and even tiny specks of yellow scattered across Phil’s iris.
“Alright,” Phil says in a low voice, breaking Dan out of his trance. “Are you planning on telling me what’s actually keeping up and pacing around at 4 in the morning?”
Phil is never really one to pry, he usually just lets things like this go. Sometimes though, he just can’t help himself. Especially when he can tell that something is really bothering Dan.
“Uhm,” Dan replies, feeling his cheeks grow redder as he remembers what had been keeping him awake. He hopes his blush is still hidden within the darkness, despite how close him and Phil are lying to each other.
He contemplates whether he should just tell Phil what was happening. They told each other everything, after all. The worst Phil could do was tell Dan he was a freak, kick him out of the apartment forever, and say he never wanted to see his face ever again.
Yeah, no. He’s not telling Phil.
“I already told you,” Dan speaks up. “I was just thinking. You know how I get sometimes. It’s just another dumb existential crisis, it’ll be gone by tomorrow.”
“Dan,” Phil says in a stern voice, not buying his half-assed excuse.
“Fine,” Dan quietly sighs. He shuts his eyes for a moment, trying to calm himself down
“This is so dumb,” He thinks. “Phil would never kick me out for something as ridiculous as this, I’m making a big deal out of nothing. Get it together, Dan.”
Once he opens up his eyes again, Phil arches an eyebrow, waiting for an explanation. Dan takes a deep breath.
“I was looking through the ‘danisnotonfire’ tag on Tumblr, and I saw -”
“Bear,” Phil interrupts him with a soft voice. “Is this is about some sort of hate post? We’ve already been over this, none of it is true. You have so many supporters, including me. Don’t let a couple of trolls silly comments get to you.”
“N-no that’s not what this is about.” Dan replies, blushing. Phil has always cared so much about reminding Dan not to let negativity get to him.
“Actually, erm, it’s about u-us.” He stutters out.
“Yeah,” Dan says, suddenly regretting starting this conversation and wishing Phil would’ve stopped being such a caring asshole and just left him alone to pace until the sun rises.
“So, uhm, I was scrolling through the tag and I saw some posts about-“
“Am I actually going to say it?” He thinks. “I could just lie and say that it was just some stupid hate comments and this would all be over. No, I can’t lie to Phil. He’ll understand.”
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” He thinks. “I fucking said it. No going back now.”
“Oh,” Phil replies, his eyes growing wider and his eyebrows raising.
They both know about phan. They both know about all of the edits and fanfiction, but they never acknowledge it, especially Dan. Not after 2012, at least. That’s why Phil finds it so odd of him to even say the ship name.
“I-I tried to ignore it, but it was just everywhere and I ended up giving in. There were so many theories, and fanfictions, and edits, and the more I looked at them,” Dan takes a deep breath before finishing. “the more I realized that they might be right?”
Dan waits for Phil to scream at him to get out of his bed and kick him out of the house, but instead he just stares blankly at him with an unreadable expression. They stay silent for a couple more seconds before Dan speaks up again.
“I completely u-understand if you want to kick me out and never speak to me again. I-I’ll go start packing my things right now.”
But right as Dan is about to climb out of the bed, Phil grabs onto his arm and says “Wait, Dan,”
Now it was Dan’s turn to stare. What? Did Phil even hear what he just said to him??
“O-okay,” Dan replies softly, climbing back beside him.
Phil closes his eyes and is silent for so long the Dan is sure he’s fallen asleep, until finally he opens his mouth and whispers, “I’m not going to kick you out,”
Phil chuckles, “No, of course not,”
“Because you’re my best friend?”
“B-but I just said- I did- you- I-”
“Would you shut up for two seconds?”
Dan shuts his mouth quick.
“I’m not kicking you out, I don’t hate you or whatever you’re thinking,”
“Because I like you too,”
Dan’s brain short-circuits. What did he just say? Does he need to check his hearing?? No, it can’t be. But when he glanced over to see Phil’s flushed face staring at him, he knows that he hasn’t misheard.
“Oh,” He simply replies trying to play it cool, although he can feel the millions of roses bloom across his cheeks.
So now what? What does this mean for their friendship? Will they ever act the same way around each other again? Will-
“It’s kinda difficult to make out your face in the dark, especially without my contacts in. Could you, um, scooch a little closer?” Phil suggests, trying to hide a smirk.
Dan blushes even deeper, having an idea of where this was heading. He moves closer to Phil.
“Is this better?”
“Hmm, nope. Still can’t see you. Maybe just a bit more?” Phil asks innocently.
Dan obeys, scooting even closer to him. The temperature is overwhelmingly hot by now, with their shared body heat being trapped under the duvet, but Dan can’t really find it in himself to care.
“Better?” Dan asks. Phil shakes his head.
Dan moves again.
By now, their bodies are flush together. A mess of long lanky limbs twisted together. Dan rests his forehead against Phil’s.
“Now?” He whispers. Phil feels his hot breath wash over his face. All he had to do was move his head just a bit forward…
“Closer,” Phil breathes out. His voice is perfectly rough and raspy, it sends a shiver down Dan’s spine.
And with that, Dan closes the small gap between their lips. At first, it’s slow and sweet, but after a couple seconds it grows sloppy and desperate, their feelings that they had bottled up for years spilling out all at once.
Phil doesn’t taste the same as he had imagined. There was no hint of strawberries, but instead he tastes like the hot chocolate that Dan had made for both of them earlier that night, which in his opinion is even better. He also tastes of mint toothpaste and a hint of something else that Dan can only describe as Phil.
Phil swipes his tongue along Dan’s bottom lip, asking for entrance, which Dan quickly grants, opening his mouth and letting him explore every nook and cranny.
Dan is louder than Phil imagined. He let’s out little whimpers whenever Phil applies pressure in the right places, and quiet moans when he licks around inside his mouth. And honestly, he’s not complaining.
Eventually, to their disappointment, they have to pull away to breathe. They don’t separate completely, keeping their foreheads resting together.
Dan slowly opens his eyes, to find that Phil’s were already wide. He’s engulfed in the deep ocean of color, before smiling so wide that it hurts his whole face. Phil joins him, smiling just as wide. Soon they’re both giggling like japanese school girls.
“Why the hell haven’t we done that sooner?” Dan says calming down from his laughing fit.
“I have no idea,” Phil replies still smiling.
They lean in again, grinning against each other’s mouths. It’s shorter than the last kiss, but full of love and fondness rather than desperation. When they pull apart, Phil move back to peck Dan’s lips one more time.
Phil wraps his arms around the small of Dan’s back and pulls him closer, tucking his head underneath of his chin. Dan accommodates by draping his arm across his waist and snuggling his face closer into his chest.
“I love you, bear,” Phil says, his voice soft and full of warmth.
“Love you too,” Dan replies, his voice just as warm. “Now shut up, it’s late and I’m trying to sleep,”
Phil laughs and squeezes Dan tighter, “Alright, goodnight Dan,”
He waits for a reply before he hears soft snores from under his head. He smiles and closes his eyes, slowly drifting off to sleep with Dan wrapped in his arms.——————–
Note: i started writting this fic a while ago and i just decided to finish it today. It’s not the best but i like it enough to post it so here you go lmao ALSO thank you guys so much for all the positive feed back on my last fic! you guys are the best :)