ignore my roommate

This not-so-short-anymore story is dedicated to @charminglyantiquated and her magnificent @elsewhereuniversity comic which has exploded all over my brain.

Read chapter two here!

Nobody ever parks in Lot C after dark.

It’s not because of the Beast. It’s because Lot C is in the very back of campus, way too far from Everything of Importance. You’d have to walk a quarter mile before you reached anywhere that sells coffee, almost a mile to the library. The nearest structure is a low sprawl of administrative buildings, but even they don’t park in Lot C after dark. They come to work early, and leave before sunset.

It was a bitch to get my meal card replaced when I’d lost it. They kept shutting down that stretch of slumped old admin offices before I’d finished with my afternoon Physics Lab. My lab partner would laugh at me.

“You’ll have to eat out of the trash again. Poor Moonie. Soon enough you’ll turn into a raccoon,” she would coo at me, an unattractive smirk wrinkling her nose.

I didn’t like the way she said it. I didn’t like a lot of things she said. Sometimes I felt like she wished bad things to happen to me, just so she could snicker at my misfortune. I think it was her smile that did it. Whenever she smiled, I got the feeling she knew something that I didn’t. She liked it that way.

I didn’t mind it too much. The one thing she didn’t know was Physics.

Keep reading

hey.

have a damn cat picture. i know what you fuckers like.

  • “you are not my new roommate”
  • “roommmate from hell”
  • “ignore my roommate. she’s a sociopath”
  • “jerkface rommate”
  • “my awful roommate”
  • “my sleeps all day, chocolate pinching replacement roommate”
  • “she’s the worst roommate ever”
  • “my immoral, jerkface, possible kidnapper roommate”
  • “my quite possible not evil as they are [dean and co] roommate”
  • “you are literally the worst roommate ever”
  • “sociopathic vampire roommate”
Drunk confession

It was 4 am when I heard my roommate open the front door. He’d been out all night, and I was pretty sure he came back drunk out of his mind as always. I was watching Family Guy in the living room and tried to ignore the sound of my roommate trying to take his shoes off. I could tell that he was struggling to keep his balance due to him stomping on the floor very loudly from almost falling over every few seconds. When he was done I heard him making his way over to the couch.
Okay, I’ll admit that I don’t dislike him as much as I’m making it seem. He is pretty attractive and quite nice. We’d become pretty good friends over the years and knew a lot about eachother. A few personal things as well. One of those things being that I am a feeder. I’m very attracted to bigger people, always have been. He found out when he caught me looking at pictures of overweight men, staring at their bulging bellies. Now, my roommate wasn’t exactly the skinniest dude either. He’d grown quite a bit of a belly over the past year due to an injury to his leg which prevented him from running like he usually did. This of course was the perfect opportunity for him to tease me with his little beginners gut. And tease me he did. After every big meal, which is all of them, he’d rub his belly and stare at me a little bit too long and hard just to see if he could get my attention. Or he’d walk around without a shirt, or he dramatically complained when he was hungry, or he showed me the part of his wardrobe that didn’t fit anymore… I mean, I can’t complain. I got to see some belly and I also got to see his own little game catching up to him. All the teasing, and making sure his tummy was bloated so he could tease me with it made him put on quite a bit of weight. If I had to guess I’d say it’s around 15 pounds. So yeah, I’m not complaining!
As expected, he let himself fall on the couch right next to me, which made bounce off the couch and into the air about an inch, and sighed deeply. I felt him staring at me after a while I asked how his night was. Instead of answering my question he slowly took my hand and placed it on his very very bloated belly. “Feel” he said in a drunk but calm voice. What I felt was a sloshy, rumbling, protruding and very bloated belly. My eyes sprung open with surprise and I turned to face him to then look down at his belly. “How the hell did that happen?” I asked, clearly shocked. A wide grin appeared on his face along with a drunk chuckle that coming out of his mouth as he leaned in closer. “For you” he whispered, and softly kissed my cheek. “Please touch it. I drank so much.. It hurts”. A drunk, horny, handsome fat guy longing for me to touch his aching, painfully full and sloshing belly was just a little too much for me to resist. So i decided to give in and gave his belly an approving squeeze. He replied by moaning deeply, and leaned back against the couch. I could tell that he was enjoying his bellyrub and that he had been wanting this for a long time. As time went on we both got more and more into it. I looked over at him and saw a look on his face that I can only describe as “horny af”. His lips were slightly parted, breathing deeply in and out through them, letting out a moan every once in a while. His eyes were fixated on his own bulging gut, and my hands caressing it, squeezing it, and jiggling it. When our eyes met I slowly leaned in closer to his face and softly placed my lips onto his. He kissed back and was looking to deepen the kiss very quickly. His tongue dartled out of his mouth and brushed against my bottom lip. I enjoyed this sensation and gave him permission to deepen the kiss by flicking my tongue against his.
Before I knew it I was straddling him and made out with him intensely while rubbing and squeezing his very full and large belly. His arousal was undeniable and so was mine. He probably didn’t know what the hell was happening to him. Poor fatty, haha. I started riding against his hard manhood and heard him moan and breathe deeply. I moved faster and faster, making sure to brush up against his belly, which in turn started sloshing loudly. We could both hear all the liquid he had consumed that night move around in his giant gut, which seemed to be a great turn on for him. After both hearing this and acknowledging the sound, things moved quickly. In to time our clothes were on the floor, and we were having great, fat, drunk sex. If this is how he feels while drunk, fat and bloated, I’ll send him out to drink with his friends a lot more often.

2

Gonna combine these; hope you two don’t mind! I can definitely relate a bit to this S/O. ;_; Thank you for the requests! Enjoy!


Akira:

Cramped. It was entirely too cramped in the petite Hawaiian hotel room, due to the unintended addition of Ann, Ryuji, and S/O. Akira wasn’t disconcerted in the least, and Mishima was so preoccupied with his cell phone that he completely ignored the boisterous visitors.

“My roommate bailed on me for his girlfriend who, uh, happened to be Ann’s roommate. So you’re stuck with us for now, if that’s cool.”

Akira shrugged, hands stuffed in his olive sweatpants. “I’m fine with it. How about you, Mishima?”

The admin mumbled a slur of unintelligible words, the screen dimly illuminating his concentrated scrutiny. Akira reverted his attention back to his guests, his hand dejectedly rubbing the nape of his neck.

“H-he says it’s okay. Probably,” Akira claimed, then he focused his concerned gaze on S/O. “What happened to you? Are you all right?”

They nodded contently, sinking into the mattress as they seated themself on the edge of his bed. “I’m fine, don’t worry. The atmosphere was just really… tense, to say the least.”

Ann propped a hand on her hip and shot a questioning glance at S/O. “Huh? Why is that?”

“There are constant rumors about me, so as a result no one really approaches me unless they need something done. Apparently, my parents’ money is paying for my grades, and I’ve never had to work hard for anything.”

Akira perched adjacent to them and kissed their shoulder reassuringly. “That couldn’t be further from the truth.”

Ryuji crossed his bare arms and furrowed his brows in frustration. “Yeah, I’ve seen you bustin’ your ass at the beef bowl place. They don’t got the right to be sayin’ shit about you.”

“It doesn’t bother me. I donate a lot of my projects to the school, anyway. They’re completely useless, though.”

“…Didn’t one of them shoot lasers and meow whenever it was activated?” Akira inquired, a trace of amusement in his baritone voice.

S/O snickered, their eyes glazing over with reminiscence. “Yeah, that was your favorite. Sorry that I had to get rid of it. I’ll make you a new one for Christmas, and I’ll throw in a few tools, too.”

“I appreciate it, but you don’t have to do that… a-although, a meowing laser would be pretty amazing,” Akira murmured bashfully, twisting his onyx locks between his fingers.

They smiled from his sudden endearing shyness, and they pasted a fond kiss to his pink, dimpled cheeks. “Just the laser cat, then.”

Akira returned their grin with admiration sparkling in his ebony orbs, briefly wondering what he did right to deserve someone as incredible as them.


Ryuji:

“H-how the hell’d you do that?! Ya didn’t even look at the paper!”

“I did for half a second!”

“That’s barely a glance!” Ryuji countered with bulging chocolate eyes, exasperation laden in his cadence and demeanor.

The blonde had proposed that S/O assist him with his studies, as his grades left something to be desired, and he would like to avoid attending cram school at any cost. 

However, somehow the study session resulted in Ryuji testing S/O’s abilities as opposed to his own. He was aware that they were intelligent, but he was utterly baffled by their otherworldly eidetic memory. Granted, Ryuji’s reliable recollection of people and events was something he prided himself in, but S/O was on an entirely different level.

“Maybe it’s magic,” S/O teased, sending a wink to their flustered boyfriend.

Ryuji sighed as he shook his head. “Knowing how you are, I wouldn’t be surprised.”

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?” they huffed, attempting to appear indignant. They were certainly a genius, but their acting skills were downright atrocious, even compared to Ann.

Ryuji laughed lightheartedly and lazily slung an arm around their shoulders, placing a kiss to their cheek. “It means you’re too amazin’ to be real, ya nerd.”

S/O flushed a bright pink and snuggled into him; although his compliment was merely casual, it meant a great to S/O, who was often ostracized at school due to their monetary wealth, and Ryuji was possibly the only person to look beyond that.

“I could say the same about you… Phantom Thief,” S/O added smugly, secretly eager to witness his reaction.

Ryuji blatantly avoided eye contact and rubbed the nape of neck. “Y-you’re funny. Me, one of the Phantom Thieves? Man, not only are you really smart, you’re friggin’ hilarious too, haha…”

S/O delicately kissed his jawline, smiling as they whispered the following words, “Oh, I don’t know about that. The mind of a thief is somewhere in that skull of yours.”

Ryuji’s cheeks were incandescent with a scarlet tint painted over them, not that S/O could observe that; his face was completely out of their sight now. “Y-you little… Akira told ya somethin’, didn’t he?”

“He didn’t have to.”

Ryuji sighed. “Of course.” He finally initiated eye contact, and he wore an expression of guilt as he apologized, “Sorry for hidin’ it from ya.”

S/O shook their head. “It’s all right, I understand. Do what you have to do, but please be careful.”

Ryuji directed his lips to their forehead, where he placed a gentle peck. “You really are perfect. Don’t make me steal your heart, too.”


Yusuke:

“S/O, are you all right?”

Yusuke’s smooth voice interrupted their eavesdropping as they perched on a bench in front of their school. S/O had requested that he meet them there since it was within close proximity to the site of their date; however, as they waited patiently for his arrival, they overheard a conversation about them. S/O could almost feel the eyes of the gossips drilling into the back of their head as the two chastised them for their ‘purchased’ intelligence or their ‘half-assed’ projects that the school pilfers to ‘kiss their parents’ asses’.

Unfortunately, Yusuke had taken notice of the rattled expression on S/O’s face as their anxiety overwhelmed them, and he approached them with furrowed brows.

“Yusuke!” S/O promptly uplifted themself, relief washing over their formerly tense nerves. “I’m fine, l-let’s just go-”

“Oh my god, is that their boyfriend? I feel so sorry him, he’s too handsome to be with a fake like them,” one of the gossips snickered, making no attempt to be discreet.

“…Come on, let’s just go. They don’t matter.” S/O tugged on Yusuke’s sleeve, coaxing him to follow them to avoid any further involvement. However, it was too  late; the searing rage emanating from the artist could be sensed from the far side of the galaxy.

Yusuke closed the distance between himself and the currently silent gossips, his obvious irritation clamping their mouths shut. “Pardon me, but if you would be so kind as to take your ignorance somewhere it’s actually wanted, I would greatly appreciate it.” Yusuke crossed his lithe arms and leaned on one of his legs, appearing exceptionally vexed. “Alternatively, there is a school right there; perhaps you’d like to waste your time on a feeble attempt to utilize the gray matter between your ears and educate yourselves.”

The pair of gossips scoffed at Yusuke and scampered off, throwing piercing glares behind their shoulders as they retreated. Yusuke scurried back to S/O with an apologetic disposition as his arms hung on his sides. “I’m sorry for involving myself and taking matters into my own hands without your approval, but I couldn’t tolerate one more false word against you.”

S/O shook their head and tugged his sleeve once more; this time they successfully convinced him to walk with them so that the duo may commence their date. “I was happy you came when you did, and thank you for defending me. I guess I don’t have the energy to do it myself anymore.”

“Will you be all right?” Yusuke inquired, his cadence thick with worry.

“Of course; you’re here, after all,” S/O said softly, shyly staring at their feet as they walked. 

They felt Yusuke place a swift kiss on their head before claiming, “And I can think of no greater honor, although I wish you didn’t have to endure the fate of an outcast; you’re far too bright, and you managed to discern my… extracurricular identity within a week of my joining.”

S/O glanced at him and smiled fondly. “I guess outcasts attract each other… not that I mind.”

Yusuke reciprocated their smile with one of his own, and his gratitude was as evident as the beautiful, radiant sunlight shining down on them. “The feeling is mutual, my love. For my friends… and you.”

Akechi:

Akechi thought himself to be quite well-versed in the art of poker; that is, until he engaged in a match against S/O. Out of the fifteen rounds they’ve played, Akechi had not once emerged victorious, and his streak of defeats were beginning to erode his once-brimming ego.

“If I discover that you’re cheating, I’m going to make you pay for it,” Akechi jested halfheartedly. “Really though, how are you so talented at a game that relies solely on chance?”

S/O smirked as they shuffled the cards. “A good gambler never reveals their hand. You should know that, sweetie.”

Their glibness made Akechi uncertain as to whether he wanted to smother their taunting face with kisses or a pillow. He opted for a bet instead as he rested his forearms on his dining table. “Fine, let’s play another match. If I’m victorious, you’re going to tell me your strategy.”

“Fair enough. What do I get if I win?”

The detective smiled sweetly as he wagged his hand dismissively. “Oh, you don’t have to worry about that… I don’t intend on losing this time.”

S/O eagerly dealt the cards and chuckled, “You’re on.”

After a fairly quiet and tense match of poker, Akechi had apparently won.

“Congratulations,” S/O commented, attempting to organize the deck of cards.

Akechi crossed his legs and placed his folded hands in his lap. “Thank you, but that was entirely too one-sided to be claimed as a match. Why did you allow me to win?”

“…Because I wanted to see if you used the same strategy as me.”

“And did I live up to that assumption?”

S/O grinned proudly. “Yes, actually. You count the cards, just like me.”

Akechi tilted his head in slight bewilderment. “Then if we utilize the same principle, how does your expertise outweigh my own?”

“That’s…” S/O suddenly became bashful, staring at their twiddling thumbs as though they had been caught doing something wrong. A floral pink permeated Akechi’s ears; he didn’t anticipate them to behave so… adorably. “I don’t know, to be honest. I just remember where each card is placed, even after they’re shuffled. Maybe I am just a cheater…”

A twinge of guilt agitated his heart from the dejected inflection in their voice. “No, you’re incredibly skilled, and I apologize for previously accusing you of such a petty thing as cheating.”

S/O frantically shook their head. “N-no, don’t apologize, it doesn’t bother me. Students at my school say it all the time.”

“It should bother you. Your natural intelligence shouldn’t be demeaned and whittled down; it’s truly something to admire and aspire to, so I sincerely hope that you allow me to take responsibilty for insulting it. Perhaps you could even teach me a few things.”

“Goro…” Despite seeming slightly dramatic, S/O’s heart fluttered from the sincere glint in his mahogany eyes. “How about you make us both some coffee?”

He smiled, maneuvering around the table to press a kiss to their forehead. “Coming right up, dear.”

2

okay so I was tagged by @flower-taemin to do this bias x selfie tag and I tried to be fake cool so here you go. Too bad the only clothes I own are black so..and I only had a dead flower… #low budget

anyways I will tag @choiminoh @leejinklies @blingjonghyun @tofnew @sataeminism @silverznight and.. anybody else who wants to do this c: of course no obligation!!

2

I spent waaaay too long on this… My friend told me she wanted a Bucky, but for some reason I was in the mood for dresses.  And I love military-inspired fashion, so….Have a fem!Bucky with excessive use of Hydra print patterns.

Hi everyone! So I decided to write this one-shot after seeing this prompt. Hope you like it!

psst, ignore the mistakes…

You’re my roommate who’s super cute and it’s the middle of the night and you’re cramming for your exams in your flannel pajamas and disheveled hair and it’s becoming increasingly hard for me not to kiss you

Killian had just finished another long shift at the bar which is good money but finishing that late only meant that he’ll be extremely tired for classes the next day. As he got out, he noticed that Emma had sent him a text while he was working. He couldn’t help the smile that spread on his face when he saw that his roommate was asking him to stop at Granny’s before he came home, to grab her a few snacks. Based on what she was asking him to pick up, she was probably trying to pull an all nighter studying.

He sent her a text back to tell her that he just finished working, that he was heading over to Granny’s right away and will be at the apartment shortly. Emma answered right away, begging him to hurry, since she was famished. He called over at the dinner as he walked over there to get the order in, that way, he could avoid the wait. Killian took the opportunity to grab himself something to eat as well, since he had barely managed to eat anything substantial during his shift.

Half an hour later he arrived at the apartment and was greeted by Emma who was pulling the takeout bag from his hands.

“Hello is customary when you haven’t seen your roommate all day and said roommate is bringing you food.”

“Hi, sorry. It’s just that I’m famished, and I am stressing the fuck out for this test I have tomorrow and I need my cocoa to keep me awake as long as I can so I can cram all my notes.” she told him quickly as she walked over to their tiny dining table.

Keep reading

  • SO apparently this conversation happened in the persona 3 drama cd moonlight
  • Mitsuru: However, for those people who we wish to protect from ruin, we need only look at their faces to ease our burden, and strength will be granted to us.
  • Yukari: Ehe.. Like me, maybe?
  • Mitsuru: That's right.
  • Yukari: --Guh...!
  • Mitsuru: Hm...? Heh... Why are you so red?
  • Yukari: No, normally if you say something like that... that is, wouldn't you feel embarrassed?
  • Mitsuru: Is that how it is?
  • Yukari: Mu...! ...Well, I did say I'd stay by you, and... I guess I feel the same too...?
  • Mitsuru: ...Yukari, you really are red...! Are you alright...!?
  • Yukari: ... Ah, seriously, this woman can't read the mood at all...
  • Mitsuru: Do you have a fever?
  • Yukari: That's not it- Hii! You don't have to feel my forehead or anything!!
  • CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN ME HOW THEY ARE NOT IN LESBIAN WITH EACH OTHER???? and lol the other sees member made her consider about becoming kirijo maid yes. do. it. yukari.