ignore me i'm a crazy person

Things that DON'T help when I'm splitting or having another form of BPD Moment :

-ignoring me
-telling me I’m being crazy
-bringing up my illness
-yelling at me
-telling me you’ll only talk to me when I “calm down”
-“tough love”
-ignoring me
-ignoring me
-not responding
-did I mention ignoring me ?

There are things that AMP ME THE FUCK UP AND WHEN IM IN A SHITTY STATE OF MIND ALREADY ITS JUST GONNA MAKE THINGS WORSE. LIKE, FUCK.

RAAAAAANT

If you want to be a good parent.. Or looked upon like a good parent.. Or a good parent in any sense of the phrase.. Don’t fucking lie to your children. I don’t care if they’re 6 months old or 36 years old DONT fucking lie to them. If you say you’re going to work, your ass better be at work. If you say you’re going shopping, your ass better come back with groceries. Don’t ever choose your boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, or bootycall over your children. Don’t promise them things you don’t intend on getting. Don’t promise them love you don’t intend on giving. I’m so fucking done with dead beat parenting. It’s crazy. How in the hell can you look your offspring in. The. Face. And tell them lies. And choose them last. And OHMYFUVKINHGOD IT MAKES ME SICK. Stop doing drugs. Stop ignoring them for your favorite tv shows. Buy Christmas presents instead of cigarettes. For the love of everything right in the world. LOVE YOUR FUCKING KIDS.
Or you don’t deserve them.
It’s that fucking simple.

i love the phrase ‘teen angst’

i love it
because i’m not a real person,
with real feelings.
it’s all crazy hormones and
all i care about is my social life.

i love it
because i have a thousand friends
who never ignore me
or push me away,
and don’t wanna do anything but party.

i love it
because it invalidates me,
makes me know my feelings aren’t legit,
they’re nothing but
   silly.
            teen.
                     angst.

i hate the phrase 'teen angst’

i HATE it.
because i am more than a teenager
i am human.

—  b.m.w.
  • *fp literally doesn't respond for almost 24 hours*
  • me: oh my god they hate me
  • me: oh my god they fucking hate me
  • me: they distanced themselves away from me once to try and kill themselves maybe that's why they're doing this
  • me: or maybe they're mad at me
  • me: maybe they don't like talking to me anymore
  • me: maybe they don't wanna talk all the time
  • me: maybe they just hate me
  • me: maybe they don't have the balls to break it to me that they're leaving
  • me: everybody fuckin leaves
  • me: *contacts 2 of their family members and one of their friends to see what's going on*
  • me: *finds out they talked to their friend during the time period of them not talking to me*
  • me: oh my god they were ignoring me oh my fucking god
  • me: *flips shit over them ignoring me*
  • me: *starts crying hysterically*
  • them: woah calm down I'm not distancing myself from you I'm not ignoring you I just wasn't paying attention to my phone
  • me:
  • me:
  • me:
  • me: *oh god they're gonna fucking leave now 'cuz they've seen my crazy side*
  • me: *oh god what have I done*

I really adore this little moment. It’s nothing major but it still makes me so happy- it’s always the little things on Bones that make me squee the most. There’s just something so adorably domestic about Brennan throwing a pillow at Booth, IN THEIR BEDROOM…I’M FINE.

And the scene itself! It’s amazing to hear Booth admit out loud to Brennan that he doesn’t like the idea of her with another guy (WHAT A SHOCKER, not, haha). We all already knew that of course, but now they can say these  things to each other because they don’t have to hide their feelings anymore.

I LOVE MARRIED!B&B

itsoceansecret  asked:

ily marshie ♡♡ u have the best dang sims in the world and I am living for juliana and u 😙😙

I’m smiling so much right now and I probably look like a crazy person, ily most and yesss I need to post more Juliana soon because both them (and you) are absolutely amazing and give me life <3  

You know when something happens during the day and you just wanna tell that person that automatically pops into your head?? Yeah for me that’s Luke, but he’s ignoring my dm’s, talk about rude

chriscolferiseverything  asked:

Help... Everyone is so happy about Blam and in general and I'm sitting here like crying because wtf? (And no, I didn't like that Against All Odds was sung to Sam...) I miss Klaine. And I'm afraid that we don't get the amount of attention on their reunion (like always) to make up for all the heartbreak... Sigh...

Yeaaaah I’m pretty sure the only people who are content with waiting at this point are the Blaine stans, because who cares if Klaine aren’t back together, as long as there’s BLEE. I had a sinking suspicion that AAO was about Sam, but I thought maybe they’d turn it around in the end to make it Klaine positive, but of course not. Dunno why I thought they might. And no Klaine anything in the next two episodes. They’re not getting back together this season. The last two episodes are going to focus on regionals. Finchel is the most likely to get back together at this point. I’ve been trying to stick it out, but I dunno anymore. I should have stopped watching after Come What May.

I know I’m being a negative nancy about everything right now, but I’m way too emotional for my own good. It’s like Ryan just gave us a Klaine make out and sexy times just to make us happy for one episode, and hey, thanks bro, but Klaine sexing it up isn’t the most important thing to me. Where the hell is the reconciliation? Or atleast a START to one…how about some foundation to build something on? Why haven’t they even talked about what happened at all yet? THAT’S what I’m interested in.

AAO being about Sam was just….I don’t even know anymore….the worst…it made no sense….

I invite anyone to come to my askbox to vent or try to make sense of this mess, but I got one foot out of the fandom at this point =___=;;; Maybe I’m overreacting, but I’m looking forward to absolutely nothing that’s coming up.

Smart ass answers to stupid questions on your family size

Because I have to live up to my URL somehow.

Inspired by alwaysabeautifullife‘s post.

“Oh wow! I can’t stand being home with my two how do you manage [number over two]!?”

How do teachers manage their classrooms?  How do day care workers manage their nurseries?!  So impossible I tell you!  We must steal their secrets!

“I just can’t wait until school starts back up again!”

You must feel so sorry for the teachers, having to put up with the results of your incompetent parenting!

“Wow your hands are full!”

If my hands are “full” then Michelle Duggar is an octopus!

“They are so needy right?!”

Wow, it’s like children are born into the world not knowing how to fend for themselves! Crazy, right?

“Oh geeze how do you do it?!”

[repeat sarcastic answer number 1]

“You know where babies come from right?”

Why not give me a crash course on sex ed since you assume my ignorance on the subject?

“They make pills for that.”

Do they make pills for rudeness as well?

“I’d rather tear my uterus out than have another!”

Cool, maybe you could donate your uterus to a woman struggling to get pregnant!

“My son/daughter *enter horrible personal complaint about normal child behavior*”

So you can’t handle normal childhood behavior?

it just occurred to me that i should put up a little thing, because i forget people can’t read my mind. 

if you’re not aware, i have chronic lyme disease, and that’s a pretty serious illness. it basically means that i have really tough bacteria (called spirochetes, the same pathogen that causes syphilis) throughout my body, getting in my muscles, joints, brain, heart, kidneys, liver, etc. it basically does whatever it wants to do and i try to play defense, because antibiotics don’t work on these things. trust me, i was on them for a year.

the kicker is that when i DO find ways to kill these little shits, they break down into neurotoxins like ammonia, and pretty much flood my system with poison. i have some stuff that helps clean them out, but it’s a long, miserable process that makes me feel like i’ve been run over by a steamroller and pounded by a jackhammer. 

my point is, i’ve recently been caught in a particularly severe detox period, and that’s come after 2-3 months of my illness being pretty bad. pretty much since february i haven’t been my normal self, or capable of even my usual low level of mental or physical energy. i’m fortunate that i’m financially taken care of, but my mother is chronically ill also and it’s just the two of us, so it’s up to me to do the grocery shopping and all the cooking and food prep for our high-maintenance diets, and that plus showering every day takes up most of my spoons.

i have pages and pages of unanswered asks and dozens of unanswered messages, and i hate that. i would answer literally every single one, always, but any decent answer takes mental and emotional energy i just haven’t had for a long time. i feel awful when i see people asking me for help and i just don’t have anything to give, but i don’t know what i can do to get more energy until something in my health changes, and i don’t know when that will be because i don’t know if my disease can be cured at all.

i don’t want people feeling guilty about messaging me, just please don’t take it personally if you don’t get an answer. that’s all i ask, okay? please know that i love you and care about you, and when i can’t put my own words out there, i reblog what seems like it will be helpful. you can always check my resources masterpost for my list of tags and blogs, and if you have a question you can narrow down to some keywords, you can look for related content by adding to the end of my url: /search/keyword1+keyword2

i know you guys are crazy supportive of me and so loving and encouraging no matter what, but i just thought i should put this here to make sure people know the situation of my health. thanks, everyone. <3

Story Time!

I’m going to preface this with the fact that I am 100% totally stone cold sober.

HOKAY

I was lying on the bed talking to Zach about spending money on his new computer and how I wanted to buy things but am not going to because SAVING money.

Then, I showed him the adorable Delos Tarot and said it’s cuteness reminds me of the Happy Tarot, which I proceeded to pull up on Google (ignoring his logic of “You own this why are you showing it to me on your phone” Because I’m lazy) So we’re looking at them and I’m showing him the candy land people have buttcracks (Judgement card check it out lmfao) and giggling because I’m weird then he sees The Lovers

Oh god. This is where I lose it. I’m saying things like “Look how impressed he is with his fig leaf. She’s super impressed with his fig leaf. The snakes face kind of looks like the tip of a penis.” He agrees at the last part and goes to leave the room when I call out, “The tree is on fire but only in certain places.” No sound or anything and then suddenly he’s edging back into the room to look. asking me if I’ve been dipping into the vodka tonight (no I haven’t because I’ve felt nauseous all night) and I get up to follow him upstairs.

He asks why it looks semi familiar and I’m explaining some decks have Christian over tones and it’s Adam and Eve and the penis snake is the Devil.

Then, I pause, realize what I said and proceed to literally lose my shit. I collapse on the floor wheezing, I’m laughing so hard I’m crying, and he’s sitting at his computer staring at my because I’m in the door way of his office laughing.

Finally “What was so funny?”

“Hahaha the penis snake is the devil. Penis is the devil” cue mad cackling for another 5 minutes as he ignores me, goes back to his game and I hear, “Oh that’s my wife, she’s having some kind of fit.”

Like I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I THOUGHT THE SUPER “RELIGIOUS/MORAL” TRAIN OF THOUGHT ABOUT PENISES BEING THE DEVIL WAS SO GODDAMN FUNNY BUT IT WAS

TL;DR- I think hysteria is setting in.

anonymous asked:

Yom Kippur is approaching & I have to decide whether to fast. When I do not eat (low blood sugar) I am a highly unpleasant (maybe even a little violent but not like really dangerous or anything) person. My family doesn't want me to fast but I feel pressure from my friends to fast. To me ignoring the fasting feels like taking the easy route, but I don't know that I can really atone when I'm being a horrible/crabby person. Should I fast? eat? follow the rules for illness? (I'm Reform/Conservative)

Hi anon!
That seems to be quite a predicament that you are in. The pressures to do what our family and friends hope us to do can drive a person crazy!

In a situation like this, I would normally say to follow your gut. That you know what the correct thing to do it. But in a situation specifically like this, I fear of your health. I think that we all need to be super careful and prepared (to fast and or make tough decisions about fasting) on this and every fast day.

I personally think that you can find meaning in Yom Kippur without fasting. There is a beautiful prayer (below) in the new Reform Makzor for North American congregations. (Mishkahn Henefesh for Yom Kippur, p 10)

No matter what you choose to do, I hope that you have a safe day (possibly an easy fast) and of course a hag Sameach!

Gmar Hatima!
-PJ

For Those Who Must Eat During Yom Kippur

Rofei chol basar - Healer of all living creatures;
I thank You for the breath that is in me
for the community of Israel that lives
for the possibilities of today and tomorrow.

May my eating be as a fast ;
May it be dedicated to You, to t'shuvah-
to the renewal and respiration of my relationship
to you, to others, and to myself.