4

Let’s do that weird thing where I give you a face to put to the url and we can commence the comments about how frickin YOUNG i look and how i never SMILE in pictures and dammit why is my head always tilted funny and my eyes are… UUGH.

But I like my hair, so that’s okay.

.

Freaking out about paying my tuition because I can’t currently accept ANY of my scholarships (even the merit based ones) because my parents need to turn in their tax forms and they won’t get it done so my bill is more than double what it should be and the school moved the tuition deadline up by two weeks so I have even less time to get it together. Why does everything have to be so hard with my family. My grandmother, who pays from a college fund account for my tuition, wants to look over it on an analog copy instead of me just emailing her it and by the time I get everything fixed and sent to her she’ll mosey along and not meet the deadline and all of my classes will be dropped and I’m a senior so I can’t afford to lose those classes. I just wish I had financial independence so I could pay for it myself and avoid this headache.

“I tried.”

A double-edged sword. One side saying I exhausted everything I could, the other side saying I failed feeling something that didn’t exist. I tried making it work. I tried being mad at you. I failed both. I wanted everything to work out because that’s what you do. I wanted to be mad at you because it hurt. But nothing worked out, and the anger makes the hurt worse. 

I guess all of the emotions just cancel each other out, because there’s a constant numbing pain that just exists. 

I tried. I tried everything, in every situation, but nothing worked. I exhausted myself, and now I’m left here with nothing.

I tried. At least I can say that much.