if-it-wasn't-you

okay but I keep seeing that post that talks about the time napoleon was defeated by a horde of bunnies but I feel like you guys haven’t grasped how amazing that story is so I’m going to tell you

so napoleon was in a really good mood because he’d just gotten this big important treaty signed, so he decides that he wants to celebrate, right? well, nothing screams joy like shooting small fluffy animals in the face, so he decides that he wants to have a nice afternoon of rabbit shooting with his imperial court

so he relays this information to his chief of staff, whose name was Alexandre Berthier (but we’re going to call him Dave), and Dave really wanted to kiss up to his boss, so he buys literally thousands of rabbits for this big fancy rabbit shooting party

so everybody gets there, it’s time for the celebratory murder of small animals, and let’s just imagine that napoleon yells out, “RELEASE THE BUNNIES, MR. BERTHIER” to which dave does

this is where the story gets fun

see, the thing is, our buddy dave had bought a thousand tame rabbits as opposed to a thousand wild rabbits, and these little fluffy bundles of joy were used to a tiny man in a big hat who brought them food every day

so they look out across the field, see napoleon, and immediately think “CARROT MAN CARROT MAN CARROT MAN CARROT MAN”  and storm across the field toward him at hungry bunny top speed (35 mph, jsyk)

and that’s the story of how napoleon bonaparte, conqueror and military genius, was forced to run across the field while being pursued by a thousand fluffy bunnies

and this actually, 100% happened in actual history

If he has an issue with your mental health then I don’t think he was truly a good friend to begin with, true friends at least try to help :/ I know that it can be hard to understand when a friend is going through something that you don’t understand, and people tend to be scared of things they don’t understand sometimes, and that’s really unfortunate if he chose to react in this way, especially since it seems like you didn’t even really burden him at all? That’s his issue to figure out. Maybe he just needs some time to process this, and realize that he’s reacting immaturely and needs to give you another chance. If that’s the case, then hopefully he’ll come around soon. If it isn’t, well, he’s not the only person in the world who had friend potential. You’ll meet a lot of new people in your life, and maybe it’ll take a while but I bet you’ll be able to find somebody who you will like just as much. ;u;

anonymous asked:

Do you not realize that you also contributed to the drama today? You posted something based on secondhand knowledge that you heard, ambiguously shading other people in the fandom.

Well, thing is, no, it wasn’t just something that I heard, nor was it targeted towards anyone in the fandom. Because it originated from a nasty anon on someone’s blog, an anon who likely had the intent of spreading that rumor around again. And honestly, I was plenty done when it happened with Josh, and considering that Jen is literally just trying to enjoy herself, I was not having it lol.

Not to mention I was feeling particularly salty this morning, after the fiasco last night, and also because I was running on low sleep and needed a nap because I’m literally five years old lol. I understand that it likely stirred up a few people, but to be fair, at least I wasn’t saying “OMG JEN IS ON DRUGS SPREAD THIS LIKE WILDFIRE.” At least I wasn’t contributing. Simply expressing my distaste for it because it’s ridiculous in my opinion, without the intent of calling anyone out because…there was literally no one to call out. And I’m not for that anyway.

…And I seem to be getting quite a few salty anons myself. Like are you guys okay or. Do you need a cake or a hug. I can offer both honestly.

So, I just wanted to say a quick farewell to happychesters, who is one of the most important people in my life and has been for seven years. Tomorrow marks a really big change in your life, but I am so, so proud of you and what you are going off to do. I can’t wait to see you take that place by storm– and I’m going to be 45 minutes away (according to google maps) waiting for you to get bored and want to marathon Teen Wolf. 

And now, a collection of inside jokes. 

  • Your water buffalo is fast and mine is slow, yes, but your baby kangaroo is pink and mine is blue. Stop this. You can’t deny it anymore, it’s been seven years. 
  • THE BLACK NINJA OUTFIT OF PLOOOOTTTINGGG EVVIIILL
  • Inside joke: The time I told you to skip over the sex scenes in Move Like You’re Stolen and you read every. Single. Word. Haha. So funny. (Not funny. Goddamn it, Ashley.) 
  • DON’T YOU WANT ME BABAY. DON’T YOU WANT ME OOOOOOOHHH!
  • Can’t wait to play heads up with you in a few weeks. (I will find you. I will always find you.)