if you're my girl then i'm your man

anonymous asked:

So I'm gay af but I'm also super femme. I understand that being femme is also a privilege bc I'm "straight passing" but it's been so so frustrating trying to justify my sexuality when people don't believe me fully or at all when I say I'm gay. bc I don't "look gay" and I've gotten the "you're too pretty to be gay." which is such bullshit. but I just wish people would believe me? I feel like I'm in a constant state of coming out. Also fuck that last anon/hater, your relationship is cute af!!!

heteronormative society trying to push boxes (honestly, cages) onto queer people and queer relationships is why shit like this is a thing.

me and my girl dress masculine at the same time? we can’t be dating. we’re bros on the prowl.

One of us dresses more masc than the other? Called “the man”, is given the check, has to all of a sudden play a role? act a certain way. behave a certain way. have certain mannerisms.

her and I dress femme? just gals being pals. all we do is have pillowfights and giggle and never fart.

Somewhere in between all of this? what’s goin on heerreeeee. facial glitch. confusion ensues.

Mind you, I’m never taken seriously as a Bisexual. I dress Masc? lol lying. I dress Femme? lol lying. Even when I typically tread in the fluid gender expression andro area I’m somehow trying to deceive people. Even my gf has mentioned pressure trying to behave a certain way being Lesbian. And honestly, the only thing to actually blame is the society that forced us to make a community in the first place. It’s no one’s fault but that. This isn’t a inter-community problem, but because we’ve allowed ourselves to be influenced by people who aren’t queer, it has become an inter-community problem.

but this is Str8 Society talking. I think we as a community need to start rejecting these pressuring cookie cutter straight goggles that have been pushed onto us and break through. Realizing there is no wrong way to look/act/be LGBT+

Stuff I've Actually Heard People Say
  • "Yeah, I just stuck him in the microwave."
  • "My friends and I have planned a murder for after school. Any tips?"
  • "You have another arm?" "Dude, everyone has two arms."
  • "It's simple, you just gag them and throw them in the trunk!"
  • "To heck with paleontology."
  • "Can you imagine if Velociraptors had wings?" "Well, actually-"
  • "Suh dude." "Same."
  • "Guard it with your life." "My knife?"
  • "First, you need have no life, Second, sell your soul to Adele."
  • "Feet; they're hands for your legs."
  • "Wow, those sure are some nice fish scales on your facial protrusions." "You really know how to sweep a girl off her feet."
  • "It's not even good garbage."
  • Teacher to the class: "Guys, I'm sorry but uh... my dog ate your homework." *Passes back chewed-up papers*
  • "Bros before toes."
  • "Woah, Dude, is that Harambe on your lock screen?" "Dude, that's my dog."
  • "Can you imagine just walking up to someone and slapping them in the face with a piece of meat?"
  • "Hey man, got any gum." "Nah dude, I'm about to kill myself." "I'm not sure how those are related, but okay."
  • "You're made of good dirt."
  • "Stop breathing so much."
  • "All my drawings look dead inside because I am dead inside."
  • "I didn't have lunch this morning."
  • "I have a strong desire to make dictators dance."
  • "Is this revenge for the octopus at the fair?"
  • "Embrace your inner childhood." "Embrace? You've got yours in a headlock!"
  • "Make sure you have Target popcorn at my funeral."
  • "And fill my coffin with glitter."
  • "I put the 'fun' in funeral."
  • "Oh my gosh, someone is going to get punched in the throat."
  • "I could do math in the time it's taking this light to change."
  • "We were both crying; it was fun."
  • "It's Halloween! Merry Christmas!...Wait."
  • "So like, if a centaur got arrested, would you handcuff its' legs?"
  • "Yeah, and I like the smell of farts."
  • "I stuffed your heart in my pencil bag, so I won't forget."
  • "Life sucks, but at least I have my Poptart."
  • "I want to build a mirror out of spoons."
  • "Joke's on you, I don't have a soul."
  • "Boy howdy do I like eating leaves off the ground."
  • "I'd rather be burnt toast than frozen bread."
  • "When I die, bury me in a Hefty bag... but make it a pretty color."
  • "I just got a great idea." "Dress up as Batman and beat up ____?"
  • "Plan B: Cry"
  • "Oh yeah, the guy with the head on his neck."
  • "I just choked on an oat."
  • "You're a substitute for a good friend."
  • "Dude, I once dropped a breakfast burrito on the garage floor, and I still ate it."
  • "We never go stale. Unlike our jokes."
  • "They speak American."
  • Ozpin: Oscar, do you see that girl over there? She's... attractive, isn't she?
  • Oscar: That's... kind of creepy. She looks like she's *my* age.
  • Ozpin: What about that young man over there, do you think he's... "cute"?
  • Oscar: What is this? Are you trying to connect with me? Is this you trying to be cool?
  • Ozpin: I'm just trying to figure out your type. So we can avoid it at all costs.
  • Oscar: Wait, what?
  • Ozpin: You're not dating anyone as long as I'm in your head. Get used to being alone, son.
  • Oscar: ... I hate this.

anonymous asked:

I love that you're doing Sims Sterek! :D your pictures are so cute. but I'm so curious now like what are they like? what are their jobs? who else is in your sim world?? lol i'm sorry i just want to know everything now.

Oh man anon, I am spending WAY too much of my life on this game right now. It’s so addicting. But yes, alright, let me flail with you.

First, we’ve got the Hale House household, which consists of Derek, Stiles, and Paige. I created Paige mainly because I started the game and made about half a girl character before realizing I needed to make it TW!Sims, and I decided the character looked more like Paige than anyone else. But then I really liked the idea of Paige as like a childhood friend figure for Derek, and I also kind of wanted to see if Stiles and Derek would connect with a third character in the picture. (Which they did!! Immediately, with zero prompting from me.) 

(OK yes, eventual prompting. Because that’s how Sims works. But not initial prompting.)

So yeah, Hale household:

Derek Boyd
[I decided to give the sims different last names because… I don’t know why. Boyd was the third randomization that came up for Derek’s last name and I had to keep it.]

Derek’s a family-oriented, romantic, gloomy sim who’s also an amazing musician. He fell in love with his roommate, Stiles, pretty much as soon as they moved in together, and they developed a slow-burn romance over the course of a few months while he gained fame as a musician.

He’s particularly close to his big sister Laura, who lived next door to them in the city, and frequents the gym in between shifts at work. But he’s always happiest when he’s around his family.

Stiles Johnson
[Haha, get it? …I’m a dork.]

Stiles is a literal genius, which comes in handy for his career as a scientist. He’s also geeky and playful, and knows just how to get his husband out of a slump when he’s feeling down.

Paige Krasikeva
[Which is actually her real last name, but I made her first, before I decided to be cute about it.]

Paige is a writer with aspirations to become a bestselling novelist, and often writes stories inspired by her two roommates, such as Boy with the Blue Eyes, Don’t be Such a Sourwolf, SoulsickPretty Good Pair, Orange and Blue, and the surprise hit bestselling children’s book, The Adventures of Sheepgoat! 

Devon Johnson-Boyd

The angelic toddler daughter of Derek and Stiles. A quick learner and super sweet, she takes a quick liking to almost everyone she meets (although she does seem strangely put off by her “aunt” Erica…)

Devon’s adoption inspired the Hale household to move from their city apartment to the suburbs, where they built an awesome house by the river and settled in happily.

Which brings us to…

The Beta House

Erica Star
[Because “King” felt too obvious, “reyes” sounds like sunlight, and there was an option to get star tattoos on her back. *shrugs*]

Flirty but a romantic at heart, this outgoing and self-assured art critic knows how to go after what she wants. She’s quick to bond with strangers but is also tough when need be, and the handiest around the house whenever anything goes wrong. She’s also got a secret soft side which she expresses through painting, and is branching into books too because why not do it all, right?

After a few abstract flirtations around town she eventually fell into a windswept romance with her roommate…

Boyd Vernon
[Literally I just wanted everyone to call him Boyd, so I flopped the name direction.]

Boyd is a natural loner and a bookworm with “good guy” programmed into his DNA. It takes him a while to warm up to strangers and he usually relies on his wife, Erica, to handle the brunt of their social interactions. 

It’s a good thing his job as a tech genius lets him interact with clients long distance, but he has a handful of friends he’s particularly attached to, including Paige and Derek. 

[painting Erica made the day after she and Boyd got married. I can’t with them.]

Isaac Écharpe
[Because… I’m a dork. That’s the only reason.]

So I’m gonna go ahead and admit that I had no idea what to do with Isaac. Personality-wise, career-wise… with every other character something felt natural, but with him I was struggling so I ended up making him a neat, perfectionist foodie which comes in handy for his career as a chef. Isaac took an immediate dislike to Stiles (fitting), who made himself too comfortable in his apartment on their first visit, and their relationship hasn’t recovered since. He does have a lot of casual friends and gets along well enough with his two roommates, but he’s often tense and temperamental, and never really connected with any of the Hale household.

Alpha House

For a long time, Alpha house was just Laura, before I decided playing a one person household was too boring and made Cora Laura and Derek’s younger sister moved into the city. Most recently I’ve decided to combine Alpha and Beta houses together so I can keep an eye on all five of them at once, and they’re all living comfortably in the spacious apartment the Hale house vacated when they moved to the suburbs. I still think of them separately but they share space now *shrugs*

Laura Boyd

Is a confident, charismatic natural born leader. (Her aspiration is literally called “leader of the pack” because I couldn’t not.) She’s also moving up the ranks fast at the local police department, but she always takes time to look after her gloomy little brother and her younger sister, which might make trouble eventually because…

Cora Boyd

…is heading down a decidedly dark path since she moved into the city. Her naturally mischievous nature has pulled her into a life of crime as a ringleader for a number of crimes around the city, and she has a tendency toward kleptomania she’s got no qualms in indulging in. A natural tomboy and self-proclaimed “bro,” she enjoys sports and working out in her free time, and is playing the field with a pair of love interests after just a few short weeks in the city.

And ok, “official description” over with, I’m going to launch into the Extended Adventures of Cora for a minute because she’s new and might actually be my favorite character at the moment. I invented her halfway hoping she and Isaac might connect because I needed someone for Isaac to bond with, but their moods literally dropped to “bored” 30 seconds into their first conversation. But she ended up being really interesting to play anyway. I love the idea of Cora being a criminal, living one apartment-length away from Laura… and that they’re both still so genuinely close and cool with each other. I don’t know, it’s weird but I love it.

She also connected with Stiles right away  –– mischievous and playful, I should have guessed –– and they’ve developed an adorable sibling-relationship, jibing each other and generally being jerks to each other in a loving way, and he never gets annoyed by her “snark” (mischievous actions) the way other characters do.

She’s also casually dating two girls; the first one is someone she really liked at first named Jade.

but the second time they hung out Jade got weirdly pissed at her for no reason and the third time they hung out, Jade literally invited her to a bar and walked out on her six seconds later. So Cora went and met another girl, Luna (meant to be? :P) who’s sweet and romantic and Cora genuinely likes.

But… since Cora’s a criminal, she’s decided to keep seeing Jade as well… so she can pickpocket from her as payback, because she’s got kleptomaniac urges to satisfy and she’s not prone to forgive easily.

I mean… I shouldn’t love her, but she’s awesome.

So ok, these descriptions got a lot longer as I went on. I was trying to be good at first so I said nearly nothing about Sterek ;P But that’s everyone so far!

Arctic Monkeys Lyric Starter Sentences
  • "Baby, I was made to break your heart."
  • "I wish you'd stop ignoring me."
  • "Oh I'm in trouble again, aren't I?"
  • "I thought as much."
  • "Can't we just laugh and joke around?"
  • "I'm sorry I was late."
  • "I missed the train and then the traffic was a state."
  • "You say I don't care but of course I do."
  • "Who's that girl there?"
  • "What a scummy man."
  • "I'm sorry, love, but I'll have to turn you down."
  • "What are the chances?"
  • "I've got a feeling in my stomach."
  • "She must be fucking freezing."
  • "I hope you're not involved at all."
  • "Sorry, sunshine, it doesn't exist."
  • "Whatever that means."
  • "Who'd want to be men of the people when there's people like you?"
  • "Landed in a very common crisis."
  • "Where did you go?"
  • "You're not coming back again."
  • "You've had enough."
  • "If I'd have known then I wouldn't have said it."
  • "If I predicted tears then I wouldn't have said it."
  • "I don't know what it is that they want."
  • "I haven't got it to give."
  • "When you look at me like that, my darling, what did you expect?"
  • "I probably still adore you with your hands around my neck."
  • "I did last time I checked."
  • "I crumble completely when you cry."
  • "Have you no idea that you're in deep?"
  • "I dreamt about you nearly every night this week."
  • "How many secrets can you keep?"
  • "There's this tune I found that makes me think of you."
  • "Was sort of hoping that you'd stay..."
  • "The nights were mainly made for saying thats that you can't say tomorrow day."
  • "Ever thought of calling when you've had a few?"
  • "Maybe I'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new..."
  • "I've thought it through."
  • "I'm sorry to interrupt."
  • "I don't know if you feel the same as I do."
  • "We could be together if you wanted to."
  • "Ever thought of calling darling?"
  • "Do you want me crawling back to you?"
  • "Here isn't where I wanna be."
  • "All I wanna hear her say is "Are you mine?""
  • "Are you mine?"
  • "Satisfaction feels like a distant memory."
  • "Are you mine tonight?"
  • "I saw this coming from the start."
  • "There's no need to show me 'round."
  • "Will you pour me one for the road?"
  • "Don't get that sinking feeling."
  • "Don't fall apart."
  • "Soundtrack to disaster."
  • "The horizon tries but it's just not as kind on the eyes."
  • "You can't be sure."
  • "She's a modern lover."
  • "Her lips are like the galaxy's edge."
  • "I want it all."
  • "Ain't it just like you to kiss me and then hit the road."
  • "Come on, come on, come on."
  • "It's not like I'm falling in love."
  • "I just want you to do me no good."
  • "You look like you could."
  • "She's with me."
  • "I can't explain."
  • "It's kinda strange now that you're gone."
  • "There's all these secrets that I can't keep."
  • "Has it gone for good?"
  • "Isn't it hard to make up your mind?"
  • "I suspect you already know?"
  • "I thought I was yours forever?"
  • "Maybe i was mistaken."
  • "I cannot manage to make it through the day without thinking of you."
  • "But I'm not finished."
  • "I thought I saw you leaving, carrying your shoes."
  • "I'm trying to change your mind."
  • "Left you multiple missed calls."
  • "Why'd you only call me when you're high?"
  • "I need a partner."
  • "It's harder and harder to get you to listen."
  • "Sort of feels like I'm running out of time."
  • "I haven't found what I was hoping to find."
  • "You gotta be up in the morning."
  • "You're starting to bore me, baby."
  • "What have you been up to?"
  • "I heard that you fell in love."
  • "I gotta tell you the truth..."
  • "Snap out of it."
  • "I'll be here, waiting ever so patiently."
  • "Forever isn't for everyone."
  • "Darling, how could you be so blind?"
  • "You made it all alright."
  • "I had nothing to lose."
  • "You call the shots babe."
  • "I just wanna be yours."

anonymous asked:

yooo I'm shook so I'm walking to the exit of walmart, right? (keep in mind I'm wearing a v neck pullover/sweatshirt) and in my area sometimes they stop and ask to see your receipt and the guy (who is super cute might I add w/ his man bun and glasses & yes he was asian) mumbled something to me but I didn't hear so I just asked "Do I need to show my receipt?" and he was like "No, you're good" and I was mentally thinking 'bless up' but THEN, girl, I saw him look at my CHEST. I'm still in shock

You didn’t drop it like it’s hot in front of him?!

Fire Emblem: Awakening Sentence Starters
  • "Ah, I'm sorry. Perhaps I'll come back when you're done playing."
  • "I'm not playing! This is serious!"
  • "Seroiusly... childish? Seriously... embarrassing?"
  • "Seriously none of your business. Seriously."
  • "Okay, just stop. You're not even sighing. You're just saying the word 'sigh'."
  • "You're guaranteed to lose 100% of the jousts you never attend, my friend."
  • "Perhaps you should name your next move 'Eternal Chastity'."
  • "Sure, why not? I've got the perfect teacher for it right in front of me!"
  • "Why, you little--!"
  • "Few things in life would give me greater satisfaction than to knock you on your rear, but one of us has to be the adult here, and it's obviously not going to be you."
  • "That's right. Walk away. You just keep right on walking... Jerk."
  • "Oh, look. The little boy is playing with his dolls again."
  • "Do you see dolls here? No you don't! That's cause this is serious business!"
  • "I'm honing my psyche so I can grapple with nefarious beasts of the night."
  • "Well, at least you'll be grappling with something tonight."
  • "Oh, real mature."
  • "Is this your diary? It's filled with bad drawings of heroes and their weapons."
  • "Don't! The Manual of Justice is more than your mortal eyes can handle!"
  • "Oh, that's just adorable! You even named the book and everything!"
  • "Page 1: _______. When danger nears, his sword hand twitches and his eyes turn red."
  • "Give it baaaaaack!"
  • "Why are you doing this to me? We're supposed to be allies!"
  • "Oh, you drew flames around this name! Does that affect the pronunciation?"
  • "Either stop reading or just stick a sword in me and be done with it."
  • "I'll say this: your bizarre fantasy world is certainly... robust."
  • "A sword is just a sword, you know? But a sword with a name is an ally!"
  • "Remind me again how this is mental warfare and not just you being mental?"
  • "A weapon with a strong name makes the wielder feel strong, too!"
  • "That kinda makes sense... which scares me."
  • "______, these are just the names of the girls who spurned your advances."
  • "Gods, there must be two hundred names on this thing!"
  • "Another day, another rejection."
  • "How long will it take womankind to realize my many, many charms?!"
  • "I saw this tiny flower bloomin' by the roadside and I got a little misty..."
  • "Wh-whyyyy? *sniff* Hooow?! Tell me... Tell me it's all a bad dream!"
  • "Gods, pull yourself together, man! You've been sobbin' for an hour."
  • "Everything was going fine until you ruined it, ruiner!"
  • "I just don't understand why it made the ladies fall all over you! ...and start ignoring me, I might add!"
  • "How is sobbing over a flower dreamy?!"
  • "Listening to you is stressful."
  • "I wonder if _____ would mind if I stabbed him..."
  • "Persistence is my greatest strength, you know!"
  • "It's pronounced 'tragic flaw'."
  • "'Oooh, ______! You're so mysterious!' 'Your mask is soOoOO dreamy, ______!' You were supposed to be my wingman! Not my competition!"
  • "She did not want me to leave. She was... stronger than she looked. I've never been so manhandled."
  • "I WANT TO BE MANHANDLED!!"
  • "Wait, were you flirting just now? Was I just hit on?!"
  • "I have nothing but the most platonic of respects for you."
  • "Your philandering is quite deplorable, but high marks on your attitude!"
  • "Ooh, let me guess! You hit on a pretty girl, and she shot you down?"
  • "Ha! Everyone thinks they know, _______. Well they don't know squat! ... But yes. That's what happened."
  • "How goes the philandering?"
  • "A girl agreed to join me for tea, and I was on cloud nine! But she spiked my drink and robbed me blind while I was out cold! She even took the shirt off my back! ...Left the pants, though."
  • "Wait. You're fighting a war to impress GIRLS?!"
  • "I'm not good with praise, you know? I'm used to rejection!"
  • "This is going to haunt me to the grave! The grave, I say!"
  • "Yes, you just happened to find yourself hiding in a barrel. What ARE the chances?"
  • "PLEASE stop trying to spy on me while I practice! You've climbed trees, hidden under bridges, painting yourself in ridiculous camouflage..."
  • "The time you jumped out from the waterfall nearly gave me a waterfall in my pants!"
  • "...You died before we got that far."
  • "I always used to practice beside your grave."
  • "I'd try to imagine what you'd say as you watch me. What I could fix..."
  • "I could hear it all in my head as I danced. But I just wanted to hear it aloud..."
  • "The me in the future might have left, but I swear, this me is here to stay!"
  • "So you're taking a breaking from chasing girls, to talk with me about... chasing girls?"
  • "...You get slapped a lot, don't you?"
  • "Oh yeah, all the time. I mean, when I'm not getting kneed in the groin."
  • "I'm a man of passion!"
  • "This is your last dance!"
The Gladers confessing to you via a song.
  • Newt(I'm Alive): When you bless the day, I just drift away, All my worries die, I'm glad that I'm alive.
  • Minho: Shuck Newt, even I'm in tears.
  • Thomas(Drag me Down): If I didn't have you there would be nothing left, the shell of a man who could never be his best!
  • Minho: You're confessing your love, not thanking her for hers!
  • Minho (Do You Want to): I'm gonna make somebody love me (x2), and now I know (x3)I know that it's YOU! YOU LUCKY! LUCKY! LUCKY!!
  • Gally (Hey Baby): Hey baby girl whatcha doin tonight? I wanna see what you got in store!
  • Minho: That's not romantic!
  • Gally: It's still better than yours!

She’s gonna hate me when she finds out… she’s going to think I’m a horrible person but… I swear I’d never physically hurt anyone on purpose… I’m not dangerous…

Derpcraft Episode 1
  • Aphex: *to Chilled* Hey little mama how you doing?
  • Galm: This is why you don't have a girl Aphex.
  • Tom: Is it because he's creepy?
  • Chilled: Did we just get personal?
  • Aphex: Really Galm you're gonna hit me with that?
  • Galm: Hey man you're the one hitting on Chilled.
  • Chilled: Exactly and I'm not even the right gender for you, you don't like boys!
  • Aphex: Well you're a girl in this realm boy so it don't matter.
  • Chilled: That's a weird way to talk to your dick.
  • Everyone: *busts out laughing*

anonymous asked:

The doctor will never be a woman. There are plenty of women in the show that are admirable role models. I think you're just full ofsh it. Stop pushing your american views onto Doctor Who, a BRITISH show, with BRITISH values. It's unbelievable how obnoxious and hypocritical feminists are, especially you third-wave feminists. Always spouting "equal rights" but, "Can't hit me, cause I'm a girl!" You probably won't respond to this because you know I'm right and the whovianfeminism stance is weak.

This was so beautiful that I had to put it up on my wall and examine it as if it were an exquisite piece of art. 

“Manpain” by Anonymous

Above we have a quintessential example of early 21st Century prose by an aggrieved man. The author of this piece is unknown, but we can surmise by his inability to properly say “shit” to a woman and his assurance that he likes “admirable” female characters that he is most likely a “Nice Guy.”

The anonymous author employs deliberate obtuseness in order to provoke a reaction from his audience. Notice how he pretends no British individual supports the idea of a woman portraying the Doctor, despite clear evidence to the contrary, even amongst actors who have portrayed the titular character on the show. Then there is the stunning self-centeredness regarding his perception of third wave feminism; he is only interested in equality if it grants him the “right” to hit the women whose arguments make him so incoherently angry that he is unable to rationally reply.

His final challenge attempts to trap the reader. Do we respond and grant him the audience and validation he so desperately seeks, or do we ignore him and let him believe he has won? But perhaps we have a third option: to turn the focus back on him and examine how his comments display his deep insecurity in his own sense of masculinity, something he feels can only be reclaimed by challenging a girl on the internet to a fight and preemptively declaring victory because he fears he cannot engage with her on an intellectual level.

99 Prompts
  • + this was inspired highly on the lovely @sentence-fragments post “101 fluffy prompts” so, thank you <3
  • + these prompts are tailored to be written in the reader's point of view OR the character's point of view.
  • YOU AND I:
  • 001: "One day I'll sing you to sleep, and you'll wake up in love with me."
  • 002: "If only you knew who I am, maybe... maybe you'll love me like I love you."
  • 003: "We're just two poor kids, from a really rich city. Isn't that a pity?"
  • 004: "(You/I) come in, with mud on (your/my) face, holding a dozen roses. Shouldn't (I/you) be suspicious?"
  • 005: "Just please, please hold me so I won't fall apart."
  • 006: "You don't even know my name, and you're suddenly in love with me?"
  • 007: "I would appreciate it if you would stop taking my breath away whenever you walk by. I kinda need my breath."
  • 008: "You stupid, adorable idiot."
  • 009: "Can you help me with my homework? I figure since you're smart you know what you're doing."
  • 010: "You're fixing me in a way that no one else could."
  • 011: "Please don't leave me when I'm this weak. Please."
  • 012: "You're fluffy, like a pillow... or a well-written fanfic."
  • 013: "I'll make you know love again."
  • 014: "Aren't we passed 'hello'?"
  • 015: "Kiss me as if we'll never see each other again."
  • 016: "I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream."
  • 017: "You make me sane again."
  • 018: "Wise men say only fools rush in. But I can't help falling in love with you."
  • 019: "Stay with me. Please, if you'll leave me tomorrow and never come back, stay one more night."
  • 020: "Take my hand. Take my whole life, too because I can't help it that I'm madly in love with you."
  • 021: "We're such opposites, and I couldn't be more attracted to you."
  • 022: "Can you sing to me until I fall asleep?"
  • 023: "I'm tired of being alone. Don't let me go."
  • 024: "You're just jealous because you're the little spoon."
  • 025: "You're cute when you're pouty and jealous."
  • LOCKDOWN:
  • 026: "She doesn't deserve you. That should be me."
  • 027: "You're sitting there, oblivious at the bar, when (she's/he's) sleeping around and you're just letting this all happen?!"
  • 028: "Number one: stop feeling sorry for yourself and get out of that loveless relationship."
  • 029: "I never meant to get attached. Now that I am, I'm trapped."
  • 030: "Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you?"
  • 031: "(He/She) won't love you like I would."
  • 032: "(He's/She's) an idiot for letting someone like you go."
  • 033: "I have loved you since we were fifteen. You just never noticed."
  • 034: "While you were chasing her, you were oblivious that I was struggling to get your attention."
  • 035: "It's like you casted a spell on me. And from the start, I was hooked."
  • 036: "The thought of you with (her/him) makes me want to vomit, just saying."
  • SUPERFICIAL LOVE:
  • 037: "If you want to keep me then you better treat me like a damn princess."
  • 038: "This superficial love shit got me going crazy."
  • 039: "If you like (her/him), go for it. Just stop stringing me along."
  • 040: "You're such an idiot, you've been chasing for the right person when I've been standing here all along."
  • 041: "I think I know (he/she) doesn't love me. That's why I mess around."
  • 042: "I don't want to marry someone who broke me on the inside."
  • 043: "I keep falling for your fool's gold."
  • 044: "I thought it was supposed to be you. That you'd be the one to save me."
  • 045: "You're not the person who gets to be in my happily ever after."
  • 046: "It's sad because I still love you even though you're with (her/him)."
  • BROKEN HEARTS CLUB:
  • 047: "I'm not your side piece. If anything, you're my side piece."
  • 048: "After all these years of not apologizing, you're on your knees begging for my help? After all you did?"
  • 049: "And if one day, you wake up and realize you want to be with me again, you better be ready to slay a dragon to win me back."
  • 050: "I trusted you and you abused that trust. That's not right. You can't waltz in here and think everything is okay."
  • 051: "I had a few drinks now and the only thing on my mind is you. It's always you."
  • 052: "I'm not the same (girl/boy) you left broken-hearted two years ago."
  • 053: "You don't get the glory of seeing me cry."
  • 054: "People may call you a hero, but you're a villain in my eyes."
  • 055: "Sorry, I'm all out of love."
  • 056: "You were the best drug my heart got addicted to."
  • 057: "You left me and went on to become bigger and better."
  • THE ANGST:
  • 058: "You saved me from death, and now you want to kill me? You had your chance."
  • 059: "No one came when I was about to die. You left me to die."
  • 060: "I am so done, trying to be your number one."
  • 061: "Every little thing you do pisses me off and it makes me mad because it makes me love you more."
  • 062: "You had no trouble tearing me apart and poking holes in my heart."
  • 063: "You accused me of murder and now you want to go out for dinner?!"
  • 064: "No! Stop feeling sorry for yourself again!"
  • 065: "I'm not the damsel in distress anymore! I. Don't. Need. You."
  • 066: "Don't pretend you're sorry. I know you're not."
  • 067: "You stop being sorry three years ago. Stop saying you're sorry."
  • 068: "You. Don't. Own. Me. You never did, never will. People can't own people."
  • 069: "There is not a single bone of humanity in you. You've turned to the monster I feared you were gonna become."
  • 070: "You're terrible. And to think I actually fell in love with you at one point."
  • 071: "You sicken me, you pathetic low life. Stop stalking me and trying to save me."
  • 072: "I can save myself, thank you very much for your unnecessary and unwanted help."
  • 073: "I don't need you to be happy. I never needed you."
  • WILD THINGS:
  • 074: "So... you're actually undercover pretending to be a high school (girl/boy)?"
  • 075: "(You/I) just saved (me/you) from a burning fire and now you're asking me out?"
  • 076: "Why are my clothes on fire? Why aren't your clothes on fire?"
  • 077: "What crawled in your pants and made you a fuck(boy/girl)?"
  • 078: "You're sick? I'll be over with lemonade in five."
  • 079: "Stop hiding in the bathtub and eating pizza."
  • 080: "So my dog is a robot that you've been using to spy on me?"
  • 081: "Explain to me why you are covered in marshmallow fluff and Nutella."
  • 082: "Don't tell me you're filling up water balloons with hot tea again and throwing them at your enemies."
  • 083: "(You're/ I'm) (my/your) little sister, so naturally a cold-crazed psychopath man is gonna want to make (you/me) his bride."
  • 084: "Did you just ride on a horse all the way to my house to ask me out?"
  • 085: "Why the hell did you just kick me in the (boob/nuts)?"
  • 086: "You're like a little, shiny potato chip."
  • 087: "Can I dance spontaneously in the rain now?"
  • 088: "Stop using my tooth brush to brush your hair."
  • 089: "What song do you want me to play while you throw up?"
  • 090: "You smell like burps and giggles."
  • 091: "Can you stop rubbing butter over yourself for a minute and listen to me?"
  • 092: "Stop running around the place screaming that you want to be Blue Ivy. We're at a grocery store."
  • 093: "Can you stop hitting me in the butt with a water bottle?"
  • 094: "So you called me over because you poured hot sauce in your hair?"
  • 095: "Am I the first person to tell you that you cannot rap? Because if I am, I'm surprised."
  • 096: "I don't want to know why you're dressed as a banana."
  • 097: "Please don't tell me I just fell into dog poop."
  • 098: "I'm calling you Captain Savage Worm."
  • 099: "You're just an adorable kitten in a way too tight jumpsuit."
'She's the Man' Sentence Starters
  • "OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! IT BURNS!"
  • "Well hey there, pretty lady."
  • "Girls with asses like mine do not talk to boys with faces like yours."
  • "Be not afraid of greatness, some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them."
  • "I am convinced he's hiding something."
  • "Have you ever tried to run away in high heels?"
  • "I'm a boy, I promise."
  • "A few days ago I kissed this girl at a kissing booth."
  • "...and when I close my eyes, I see you for who you truly are, which is UUUG-LAY."
  • "Who's your daddy?!"
  • "Man, I just, I'm not really good at talking to girls."
  • "Do you... like... cheese?"
  • "Could you be a girl for just 5 seconds?"
  • "You don't have to flirt with her first, okay, genius? You're paying for it."
  • "Beware the old guy chewing gum... it's not gum."
  • "Are those real?"
  • "What does your heart tell you?"
  • "Wake up, I've been waiting for you."
  • "It's not a wig!"
  • "But why? He's so handsome, and rugged, and chiseled, and great."
  • "What are you talking about? Why are you lying?"
  • "I'm allergic to the sun."
  • "I played soccer once... or was it chess?"
  • "God you and your brother look scarily alike from the back."
  • "Remember, chew like you have a secret..."
  • "Why, why do you always talk about girls in such graphic terms?"
  • "Nonsense! You don't need a man to wear a beautiful dress!"
  • "___---, be a good boy."
Hamilton Characters as Hairspray Lyrics
  • Alexander Hamilton: And someday when I take to the floor/the world's gonna wake up and see/Baltimore and me
  • Eliza Schuyler Hamilton: You'll never see them frown cuz they're the nicest kids in town
  • Aaron Burr: And so I will wait until that moment you decide/that I'm your man and you're my girl
  • Angelica Schuyler Church: But let me be a star before I take that vow/cause mama I'm a big girl now
  • Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette: And if you try to hold me down I'm gonna spit in your eye and say/you can't stop the beat
  • Hercules Mulligan: Shop around little darlin' I've got to be/the ladies' choice
  • John Laurens: There's a dream/in the future/There's a struggle/that we have yet to win/And there's pride/ in my heart/Cause I know where I'm going/And I know where I've been
  • George Washington: I know we've come so far/but we've got so far to go
  • King George III: If I'm left without my babydoll I don't know what I'll do
  • Peggy Schuyler: she's hip/so cool/I'm gonna get her after school
  • Samuel Seabury: Stop! Don't! No! Please!
  • Thomas Jefferson: The only thing better than hairspray, that's me!
  • James Madison: Lancelot had Guinevere/ Mrs Claus had Old St Nick/Romeo had Juliet, and Liz, well, she has her Dick/It takes two baby/It takes two
  • Maria Reynolds: We'd like to say *beat beat* to the new girl in town
  • Philip Hamilton: I'll eat some breakfast and then CHANGE THE WORLD!
  • General Charles Lee: PONY PONY OOOH PONY PONY
romantic things to tell ur date on valentines by zodiac
  • aries: you're my mission
  • taurus: does anyone else feel a chill going up their knickers?
  • gemini: i'm with you to the end of the line pal
  • cancer: i'm gonna need a raincheck on that dance
  • leo: Regimes fall every day. I tend not to weep over that, I'm Russian... or was.
  • virgo: fast. strong. had a metal arm.
  • libra: i'm not gonna fight you. you're my friend.
  • scorpio: i couldn't leave my best girl. not when she owes me a dance.
  • sagittarius: want some milk?
  • capricorn: do you fondue?
  • aquarius: Whatever happens tomorrow you must promise me one thing. That you will stay who you are. Not a perfect soldier, but a good man.
  • pisces: on your left
signs as melanie martinez lyrics
  • Aries: I'll cry until the candles burn down this place. I'll cry until my pity party's in flames. I'm laughing, I'm crying. It feels like I'm dying.
  • Taurus: It's not like I'm asking to be your wife. I wanna make you mine, but that's hard to say. Is this coming off in a cheesy way?
  • Gemini: Throw on your dress and put on your doll faces. Everyone thinks that we're perfect. Please don't let them look through the curtains.
  • Cancer: Your heart's too big for your body. It's where your feelings hide. They're pouring out. Where everyone can see.
  • Leo: It’s all fun and games, 'til somebody falls in love. But you've already bought a ticket, and there’s no turning back now.
  • Virgo: When I try to talk you're always playing board games. I wish I had monopoly over your mind. I wish I didn't care all the time.
  • Libra: Little bit of poison in me. I can taste your skin in my teeth. "I love it when I hear you breathing. I hope to God you're never leaving"
  • Scorpio: Let me under your skin. Uh-oh, there it goes, I said too much, it overflowed. Why do I always spill?
  • Sagittarius: I'm not a piece of cake for you to just discard, while you walk away with the frosting of my heart. So I'm taking back what's mine.
  • Capricorn: Tired, blue boy walks my way, holding a girls hand. That basic bitch leaves, finally. Now I can take her man.
  • Aquarius: You like me best when I'm off my rocker. Tell you a secret, I'm not alarmed. So what if I'm crazy? The best people are.
  • Pisces: Stitched you up, put you together with cotton and feather. Gave you love, put my heart inside you. Oh what could I do?
Full Transcript of The Next Star Wars Movie
  • *Rey shows up on Luke's mountain*
  • Luke: I literally came here to not see people wtf are you doing here?
  • Rey: You're my dad, right? Tumblr seems to think so.
  • Luke: What the fuck? Like I'd leave my own kid stranded on a planet.
  • Rey: I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not.
  • Luke: You are NOT my daughter, I promise you that. Now, I'll just show you some force stuff and get you off my mountain.
  • Rey: Whateves fine.
  • *training begins*
  • ---
  • *Finn and Poe just chilling*
  • Finn: So you date any girls around here?
  • Poe: Girls aren't my...thing.
  • Finn: Are you gay?
  • Poe: Yeah...
  • Finn: FUCK YESS IM SO GLAD
  • Poe: wut
  • Finn: I LOVE YOU MAN
  • Poe: I LOVE YOU TOO
  • *they kiss*
  • ---
  • *R2D2 and BB8 hanging out*
  • R2D2: Beeeeeep beeeep bleep
  • BB8: *blushes* Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep!
  • ----
  • *Rey and Kylo fighting*
  • Rey: I'm sorry for breaking your face with my saber, Kylo. I must say, it does make you look hotter.
  • Kylo: It's no big deal, scars are emo. Wanna make out? Fighting is useless.
  • Rey: Sure, why not.
  • *they kiss*
  • ---
  • *very very very end of movie. Hux quietly enters a pet store.*
  • Hux: That one.
  • *Millicent purrs and climbs in his arms. Hux stalks out of the store, cat in arm.*
  • The End
SMH as quotes from my squad group chat
  • Bitty: I've eaten an entire lasagna by myself but I still can't swallow ur bullshit
  • Jack: normally in stressful situations I just say "oh dear" under my breath over and over until everything is less screamy
  • Holster: if I sucked a dick one time does that make me the gay cousin
  • Ransom: the only reason I got the homework done was because I read the whole thing out loud in a 1950s announcer voice tbh
  • Shitty: listen, I found some Obama/Shrek smut, and it's actually not that bad
  • Lardo: if u ever find urself in a gross white boy flirting situation, just hit him with the old 'man in a cow suit'... he will stop
  • Nursey: i know I told you to calm down before but I was wrong, right now I need you to scream into the abyss with me
  • Chowder: apparently girls don't like it when you'd rather watch Toy Story 2 than make out with them.... whatever
  • Dex: quick someone send a meme so I want less to end my own life
  • Tango: I feel like you're secretly Canadian [no one responds for like ten minutes] ...is Canada even real?
  • Whiskey: I wrote you a poem because I love you: roses are red violets are blue you're trash and your eyebrows are gross. That's it. The end.
  • (Alternate Shitty): wow man, I'm lit like a glow stick
  • Bonus- Fry Guy: if you ever do that again im going to march to your house, grab u by ur frizzy ass ponytail and swing you around like that little pigtailed bitch from Matilda