if you think it you're probably doing it

5

When you’re under investigation and unable to act officially but you don’t give a f.. about UN’s orders.
Idk, I just wanted to draw theses two together.

what ur favorite song on melodrama says about u
  • green light: lowkey basic. you probably missed lorde a Lot & listened to pure heroine on repeat while she was on hiatus
  • sober: you've done wild shit like chug 2 whole bottles of vodka or snorted coke off someone's bare back or smth. or maybe you just dream of doing wild shit, i won't judge
  • homemade dynamite: you probably dance crazily when you think no ones watching & watch live videos of lorde in concert on repeat
  • the louvre: you're obsessed with the idea of love & probably watch too many romcoms & think a museum date is the height of romance
  • liability: someone broke your heart or you only like this song bc it's gay. either way do u want to talk abt it
  • hard feelings/loveless: an idealist, you've made one of those playlists to ask someone out with song titles, or at least considered it. also you hate baby boomers
  • sober ii/melodrama: you're a hardcore lorde fan & probably cry anytime she does anything. you might be the one who found the onion ring acc??
  • writer in the dark: hella badass & you might actually be a witch?? you prob also like this song bc of her high notes. me too buddy.
  • supercut: you get high on nostalgia & cried after listening to the album for the first time
  • liability reprise: you listen to sad songs & watch sad movies when you're sad & it just makes you sadder
  • perfect places: you probably hoard polaroids & ticket stubs & pressed flowers & memories. you live the aesthetic lyfe™ we all hope to achieve

Lance is like… the unexpected ride or die friend. He’s the guy you call when your car breaks down in the middle of the night but only after you’ve already tried ten other people. And when he picks up you don’t really have high hopes because you two aren’t really that close, but apparently he didn’t get the memo because he’s immediately like “oh shit yeah sure gimme a sec to get some clothes on and get in my car and also do you want coffee or anything? because I think I’m gonna stop and get some so I don’t crash my car on the way lol. no? you sure? okay hang tight for a few mins be right there”

{Future}
  • Aries: You'll be as bright as the sun and make the most difficult choices in your life soon. Chin up, spit the blood, and fight for your beliefs.
  • Cancer: Maybe things seem pretty rough right now. Think about what you want for the long run, maybe it's not what you want now. Where are you in 10 years?
  • Taurus: You're always so nervous and tedious about your work. You know what? If you're trying to impress something or someone to get what you want, maybe it's not for you. Because if you're not doing what you love to impress people, screw that. Do what you want.
  • Gemini: Oh boy. You have no idea. You have such big dreams and so little time. Go with what you want and don't let anybody get in the way of it. You're really never late to anything. There's time, just a limited amount.
  • Leo: Summer down, maybe your dream when you were little won't work. Maybe it will, who knows? The thing is, don't live your life in solitude, find someone to adventure with and show your colors.
  • Virgo: My dear, don't be afraid of society's rules, they're meant to be broken. Prove your point. Be an example. Break the glass.
  • Libra: You've been told what to do and how to do it for too long. Stop obeying and start pioneering your own future. Dream for yourself.
  • Scorpio: You think you have it all figured out don't you? Just know that life throws curveballs all the time. Be ready for anything darling.
  • Sagittarius: Maybe you don't know. Maybe you know. You're in the dark yet you see light. I promise it will become clear for you one day when you probably least expect it.
  • Capricorn: You're ambitious but not supported. I'm sorry. Put yourself in a healthy group of people and environment and you'll grow as fast as time passes.
  • Aquarius: You can not see the future and there are things you won't be able to predict. Stop trying so hard and let go. You'll find your success elsewhere. Don't expect a pretty platter of success to be handed to you.
  • Pisces: You fall but you need to get back up. Don't loose sight of what's important to you and your journey. You've grown so much in this period of time. Keep it up and success will be great.
What ur fav PKMN region says about you
  • Kanto: Likes animals, underestimated, but extremely determined. Strong morals.
  • Johto: Unpopular opinions, petty, but usually right. Don't test them because they have Receipts on u from before u started talking.
  • Hoenn: Mom friend, sends sweet texts to friends, helps u when ur down. Takes bad things in stride (even if they are salty).
  • Sinnoh: Either the best or worst person. No in between. If you think you're one, you're probably the other.
  • Unova: You don't know what's going on really but that's ok, you either pretend you do or you just dip. Loud and proud though.
  • Kalos: You try not to complain too much and usually don't talk a lot in groupchats. The sting of rejection is a common feeling.
  • Alola: Super Extra™ (and probably won't admit it) but nice. Usually butts heads with other fans & has to get the last word in.

anonymous asked:

AU of sorts where Chris walks up to Yuuri after the Sochi Short Program and is like "My friend thinks you're really cute and was pretty impressed by your skating today, but he thought it would be weird to just walk up and hit on you, so I'm doing it for him. Can I get your number?" Viktor, who is dying somewhere across the room, can't decide if Chris is the worst friend ever or the best.

omg victor’s probably like:

Script of the first episode of season 3, probably
  • Keith: so, uh.. shiro said that I should lead Voltron if something, you know.. *gestures at empty chair* happened and it apparently did and, uh... you know what, my first act as a leader is to pass the bat to Allura because??? What the hell was he thinking??? So, yeah, you're the leader now, Princess, like you were since the very beginning of this clusterfuck that became of our lives. What should we do now?
Signs as Overwatch Characters Based Off What I Know of Them
  • Aries: Torbjörn, intimidating but with a squishy side, stubborn as hell and not afraid to throw someone into the ring of fire when angered
  • Taurus: McCree or Roadhog, either way they end up on the Chaotic side of the alignment and tend to be either really good at smooth talking or always on Edge™
  • Gemini: Tracer, energy everywhere, the one who thinks that ice cream is okay for dinner, no one knows how much they actually sleep or if they do, mentally exhausted but always has their signature smile
  • Cancer: Reaper, so edgy and emotional, always trying too hard, it's okay if you don't win ever Uno game, probably needs a hug
  • Leo: Lúcio, it doesn't matter if you've got this or not cause you're going to have fun, probably has a playlist for each mood and or at least a good study/work playlist, that friend that pays for your meals with any IOUs taken
  • Virgo: Hanzo or Zarya, get some sleep, could scam you with their knowledge but chooses not to, cherish their smiles, collects small knick-knacks everywhere they go
  • Libra: Mei or Symmetra, they like going to the pool over the ocean or lake, drinks tea over coffee, will Roast You™ regardless of standing friendships
  • Scorpio: Widowmaker, tries to act detached but always has that one person in the group who reels them in, probably good at making hot chocolate, likes fluffy socks, embarrassed by subtle romantic things
  • Sagittarius: D.Va or Soldier: 76, will fight you anywhere anytime, meet them in the ball pit, highly skilled at one thing and the rest doesn't matter to them, dad jokes
  • Capricorn: Genji, arrogant arse who thinks they're above everyone, sometimes gives sound advice, is the kid who sat on windowsills and staring out the window in an attempt to be Cool™, closeted weeb
  • Aquarius: Sombra, will fight for you but ultimately there for their own objectives, they're happiest when they're free, craves sweets everyday, high impulse control
  • Pisces: Mercy, tries to be nice but it usually backfires, Absolutely Done with everyone, gives second chances but not thirds, the one who smiles as they kill you
Let's Play: Minecraft – Episode 249
  • *Jeremy kisses Gavin for luck*
  • Gavin: I really didn't expect that. That's like the first pretend gay thing you've ever done to me.
  • Jeremy: It's true, probably in my life.
  • Gavin: Now we're gonna be written about on tumbloid.
  • Ryan: Do you think you're not now?
  • Gavin: Me and Jeremy? I haven't checked Tumblr in three years.
  • Jeremy: I can guarantee we've fucked on Tumblr.
  • Gavin: And I bet I'm receiving.
  • Jeremy: Oh yeah, there's no doubt about that.
  • Ryan: I can guarantee that it's gone both ways.
  • Michael: Ryan knows because he wrote it.
  • Geoff: I definitely see Gavin taking it from Jeremy. And I think Jeremy would be hard and fast.
  • Jack: The question is, who do you see Gavin giving it to?
  • *silence*
  • Jack: That was the correct answer.
Harry's interview on Quotidien
  • I: Can you hear me?
  • H: Yes
  • I: Welcome to Paris!
  • H: Thank you
  • I: How are you? Can you answer in French?
  • H: Good! A little bit. A tiny bit. Très bien et toi ?(very good and you?)
  • I: Very good, thank you. We start our interviews with “can you give us your five favourites words in English or French. Or a French sentence”. Someone told me you knew a French sentence.
  • H: Comment vous faites un café si délicieux? (How do you make such a delicious coffee?)
  • I: OK, that’s good.
  • H: That’s all I have.
  • I: Do you say it very often?
  • H: No... Yes
  • I: What does France mean to you? Is it something, someone etc...?
  • H: Best people I’ve known... I think her, *shows a fan* I guess. Fabien Barthez.
  • I: Yes, Fabien Barthez. Harry, you’re 23 years old and you’re one of the best known pop-star in the world. Everybody has expectations with your new album and single Sign Of The Times. Why did you choose that song? This is not what people were expecting.
  • H: I think I wanted to.. I've always liked music that made me feel something. You know I think writing it I could feet something I wanted to bring it out. I think it's a good indicator for me of what the album is to me. That's why I wanted to go with that first.
  • I: Billboard wrote that the single was "one of the more ambitious opening statements in pop this decade". Not bad, isn't it?
  • H: Thanks!
  • I: Do you have friends working at Billboard?
  • H: I don't know anyone at Billboard.
  • I: When we listen to the song we think of David Bowie, Queen, who else did you think of?
  • H: I mean, I think everyone, anything, any song you've ever listened to growing up or throughout your life or you've enjoyed, inspired you. There are a lot of different things. I wanted to just write and see what came out. I didn't know what I sounded like to make an album. So this process was as interesting for me as I think it will be for people listening to the album for the first time.
  • I: Do you know French singers other than Serge Gainsbourg? That's a tricky question.
  • H: I know Woodkid. He directed my music video.
  • I: Why him?
  • H: I think his videos are amazing, he's a really talented guy and I love French people so I worked with him.
  • I: When you're in Spain, do you say that you love Spanish people?
  • H: No!
  • I: It seems like everything has been easy...
  • H: Great tie.
  • I: You think so? It's French.
  • H: It's not a Spanish tie, isn't it?
  • I: Can I see your loafer? Oh yes! What is the brand? That's not French, isn't it? It's Italian.
  • H: No.
  • I: That's from the European Union!
  • H: Probably yeah.
  • I: It seems like everything has been easy for you, is it true?
  • H: Was what simple?
  • I: Your life, everybody wants a life like yours, with One Direction...
  • H: I mean, I feel very lucky to be able to make music, I feel very lucky to be able to make this, I feel very lucky today being in France and performing my song. I love this song. I can't complain.
  • I: What were the unpleasant things?
  • H: *thinking*
  • I: I don't know, say only one thing.
  • H: I think when you care so much about something, it's hard to get to the point where you feel like it's finished and it feels like you're adding and it never ends and it adds up. So I think the hardest part was getting into that point and be like "ok that's finished."
  • I: You said to the Rolling Stone magazine that most of the album was inspired by a woman. Really?
  • H: No I think, honestly, the album is much more about me than it is about anyone else. I think if I said the album is about a woman it kind of feels like, I don't know, I put a lot of work into this. I don't feel like it revolves around woman. It's a lot about me and things I've never said before. It's more about me.
  • I: How did you start with a boy band and end with a solo career? Is it complicated?
  • H: It's been a lot of fun. You know we were very lucky to get to do some amazing things and at the moment in our lives, we're in a time where everyone is trying their own thing and have a good time. It's been amazing to see everyone doing their own thing as well. If I can do as well as the others, it'd be amazing.
  • I: Do you call them everyday or text them? Do you use What's app?
  • H: I don't have that.
  • I: Why?
  • H: Yes we talk, absolutely. And everyone is bringing stuff out. It's been a lot going on. It's been a good time.
  • I: This is the album cover! Can you describe it? Why did you choose this picture?
  • H: Yeah. So, I don't know. I worked with photographer Harley Weir, I'm a massive fan of her work. And that's amazing and I was lucky enough to work with her. I felt like this was what I wanted.
  • I: Why is it pink? Why the water? Why your back? Why? It's beautiful but why is it pink?
  • H: I don't know, man!
  • I: Really? You don't know?
  • H: I don't know. I don't think I want...
  • I: Apparently pink is Rock'n'roll's colour.
  • H: Apparently so. I don't know. I think it means something to me and if it means anything to anyone else, I wouldn't want to take away from that by explaining it. I think the cool thing about stuff like photos and art is you can just leave it. You don't have to explain it.
  • I: Everybody sees what they want to see.
  • H: Yes exactly.
  • I: Have you seen this?
  • *video of people reacting to Harry's single*
  • I: Your fans record themselves while listening to the song for the first time. You can hear relevant analysis and apparently they all really liked it. Do you read what people say about you on social media? On Youtube, Twitter, Instagram? Do you use Instagram?
  • H: Yes I use it a little bit.
  • *The public disagrees with Harry*
  • H: Yes I use it a little bit. I mean I wish everyone was having as good time as the girl who was like that with her hands. That's what I do when I listen to the song.
  • I: Are you the one using your Instagram? Do you use your own fingers or someone else does it for you?
  • H: Yes, I do mine.
  • I: Do you still vote in Redditch?
  • H: In?
  • I: Redditch!
  • H: That's where I was born?
  • I: Yes.
  • H: I don't live in Redditch.
  • I: So you don't vote there. Where did you vote?
  • H: London, yeah.
  • I: What do you think of the Brexit? Welcome to Europe!
  • H: Thank you very much, thanks. I mean, I don't really comment on politics. To me, anything that brings people together is better than things that pull people apart. That's ... yeah.
  • I: Yet, you are in favour of equality of rights, men, women, gay people, straight people... That's politics.
  • H: I don't know. It doesn't feel like politics. I think stuff like equality feels much more fundamental. I feel like everyone is equal. That doesn't feel like politics to me.
  • I: Your fans are fetishists. They know all of your tattoos, piece of jewellery, they have heart attacks when you cut your hair. Right now you're playing with their feelings. Do you know that?
  • H: Oh ok.
  • I: Yes! What is your favourite tattoo?
  • H: I think... I have a.. probably. I don't know, actually.
  • I: Which one is the latest?
  • H: The latest is this one there. *shows Arlo* And this one. *shows Jackson*
  • I: Jackson? All of them?
  • H: Yes.
  • I: What's the story behind your haircut? How much did you spend on hair products with One Direction?
  • H: Yeah, like a lot. I used a lot, yeah.
  • I: You're in Dunkirk, Christopher Nolan's new movie.
  • H: Yes.
  • I: How did you do?
  • H: I auditioned.
  • I: Look at you there.
  • H: I am, that's me.
  • I: Yes.
  • H: I auditioned and it was great. It's going to be a really cool movie.
  • I: Harry, it feels like we know you since you're a baby. The whole world discovered you in 2010 on X Factor.
  • *video of Harry's X Factor audition*
  • I: You auditioned alone but Simon Cowell had an idea... he put you in a band with Zayn, Louis, Liam and Niall. You became One Direction. You found the name One Direction and you sold millions of albums. One Direction are soon considered as the new Beattles and you filled the biggest stadiums. The whole world was talking about you. When you go out we prayed for your eardrums. You became UK's pride. David Cameron is in one of your music videos, your sang for the Queen. But in 2015... bang! Zayn left the band, fans couldn't get over it. But don't worry, their favourite is now on the cover of the Rolling Stone magazine, he's in Christopher Nolan's new movie, he's Mick Jagger on SNL... What you don't know is that we've met in 2012. You were in France to promote an album and now I have questions. First one! When you're in a car and fans are all around you, do you see that?
  • *video of fans around a car*
  • H: I think I've actually lost my shoe there. When I got in the car... I got in the car and I was like "how many shoes do I have?" Yes I lost my shoe.
  • I: I have another question! Do you still do that before going on stage?
  • *video of Harry and Lou*
  • I: Can we do it?
  • H: No.
  • *does it anyway*
  • I: What is the weirdest question someone asked you?
  • H: I think it was actually a French interview. I got asked if I would pee in a sink... Yeah.
  • I: Ok, that's weird!
  • H: It was the first question, the first question.
  • I: It puts you in the mood.
  • H: Yeah.
  • I: What is the question you never want to be asked ever again? Did I asked you that question?
  • *Harry asks the public*
  • H: Which one? Oh crush.
  • I: What?
  • H: Crush.
  • I: Oh ok. I didn't ask it! Did you know that a French author wrote a novel about you. It's called "Styles", it's about his obsession with you. It's in French. You can translate it.
  • H: Oh! Is that true?
  • I: Yes it's true. He dedicated to you. It's called "Styles" and it's a really good book. Read it!
  • H: Thank you.
  • I: Thank you very much Harry Styles for coming tonight. His first eponymous album comes out on the 12th May. Thank you Harry Styles.
  • H: Thank you.
  • I: Have a safe journey home.

((Sorry this blog’s been kinda dead lately ;w;))

  • Lena: what kind of flowers do you think Kara likes?
  • Lena: Wait, is this too much?
  • Lena: It's probably too much huh?
  • Lena: No what if it's not enough?? I need her to know how much I lo - care for her
  • Lena: What about chocolate? Should I get her chocolate too?
  • Lena: Or food? She likes food
  • Lena: Maybe I can take her to an AYCE diner?
  • Lena: What if she doesn't want to go with me?
  • Lena: Should I send her flowers everyday? Or just once?
  • Lena: An office full is the normal amount right?
  • Lena: JESS WHAT DO I DO?? You're my assistant, so assist me!!
  • What Percy said in BoO: Wait, what?
  • What Percy probably meant in BoO: Wait, what do you mean you used to like me? You hated me? You're confusing me? People don't like me. Especially not the ones that hate me..... the fuck?
  • What everyone thinks Percy meant: whAT DO YOU MEAN I AM NOT YOUR TYPE, I AM EVERYONES TYPE, LOOK AT ME, I'M AWESOME, I AM PERCY MOTHER-FUCKING JACKSON, YOU MUST LIKE ME, EVERYONE LIKES ME!?!?! I HATE YOU, I WILL NEVER LET THIS GO!!!!!! I AM EVERYONES TYPE!!!!!
persona arcanae explained
  • the fool: disaster kids with incredible destinies
  • the magician: no. no, don't do that. I SAID DON'T DO THAT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD -
  • the high priestess: i know they seem calm but if you fuck with them you're dead
  • the empress: classy ladies who have probably killed a man
  • the emperor: they seem cool but they're all extremely eccentric
  • the hierophant: they're gruff but they care! honest!
  • the lovers: adorable pink-loving teenage girls who will destroy you for daring to think you have the right to look at them
  • the chariot: ALRIGHT CHUMS LET'S DO THIS!
  • justice: adorable children (and katsuya)
  • the hermit: vidya games (and a fox)
  • the wheel of fortune: pretty boys with secrets of varying severity
  • strength: they are your bro, they are there for you, one of them is a dog
  • hunger: HE IS NOT YOUR BRO, HE IS NOT THERE FOR YOU, STAY AWAY
  • the hanged man: jesus shitting christ that's an unhappy backstory
  • death: they're creepy but really nice, except eikichi, he's FABULOUS and really nice
  • temperance: ha ha no persona steve (i seriously think we have never met a persona-user of the temperance arcana)
  • the devil: no
  • the tower: you have issues and your arcana reflects that
  • the star: i know they seem sweet but they are hiding something
  • the moon: let's be positive to hide our crushing emotional issues
  • the sun: surprisingly troubled but will never talk about it
  • judgement: we're all in this together (and elly)
  • aeon: short-haired nonhuman girls who are extremely eccentric because they are nonhuman
  • the world: god in a school uniform

Lance had his hand casually placed on Shiro’s hip as he smoothly conversed with their mark, his palm warm and possessive against Shiro’s skin. He was probably not even aware of how he was rubbing his thumb lightly over the sensitive skin at the top of Shiro’s thigh. Shiro was aware though; he was very aware. He hid his face deeper between his folded arms and resolutely tried to ignore the frisson of heat that went through him at every swipe of Lance’s thumb.”

completely unexpected addition to the undercover pleasure slave!shiro thing. i had the idea during lunch and then i kept zoning out at work thinking about it, so i figured i best sit down and do the thing. and the thing got done and here we are :D

anonymous asked:

a concept: Yuuri and Victor are at some interview and the person interviewing is like "oh out of you two, which one would be most likely to propose?" And Yuuri is like "oh probably Victor," and then the interviewer is like "what do you think Victor?" And Victor is like "it's kind of funny that you're asking this question because I already know the answer" and just,, right there. Proposes right there.

anonymous asked:

i know you're probably getting a lot of requests, but do you think you would be able to write about the weirdest greek myth ever, the birth of the Minotaur?

There are times when Hermes’s role as the messenger god weighs on him. Declaration of war have left his lips, the words he’s carried have ended whole countries and damned villages to a slow painful death. The secrets he carries tears at him, the horrors he’s had to face only so he could later tell of them, the warnings he repeats that are ignored and all he’s witnessed is for nothing, since it happens all over again in front of him.

There are times the news he brings that tears at him, eats at his soul like necrosis – the death of Kore, Poseidon destroying another seaside village, every whisper of Pandora, informing Ares of yet another war.

This –

– isn’t one of those times.

~

Aphrodite’s lovely face is slack with surprise. At her side Hephaestus rubs his chin and says, “That seems physically improbable.”

“How did she manage to not die?” Aphrodite demands, then says, “Wait, don’t tell me, I don’t want to know.”

Hermes grins, and doesn’t bother to hide the complete delight he’s taking in this, “But my lady,  it is my sacred duty to tell you these things. When Queen Pasiphae ensnared Daedalus’s help to be mounted by the bull–”

She gives him a cross look and is gone in a powerful gust of wind, and he has to grab onto the volcano wall to keep from falling over.

“That wasn’t very nice,” Hephaestus says, off hand. It’s clear he’s still thinking of the mechanics of a human-bull hybrid.

“I’ve been accused of being many things,” Hermes says cheerfully, “nice is not among them.”

~

Artemis lounges in her tent with one of her huntress’s face between her thighs, inexperienced but eager, and she so does love taking on new women.

“Sister!” Apollo shouts, appearing at her side and glaring down at her. “Have you lost your mind?”

Her huntress startles and freezes, unsure whether to leave or continue. Artemis rolls her hips up, and the girl ignores the appearance of the sun god and continues with her task.

“Not that I know of,” she says, tilting her head up so she can look at her brother without altering her position, “Why do you ask?”

“Poseidon cursed a mortal queen to fall in love with a bull, and she gave birth to a bull headed monster today,” he crosses his arms and glares.

She swallows the laugh that bubbles up, but she must not be entirely successful because he starts tapping his foot. “Well, isn’t that interesting. I’m not sure what it has to do with me.”

“Sister dear, Artemis, patron goddess of childbirth,” he says with syrup thick sweetness, “why on earth did you bless that child? There’s no way it could have been born without your help. It had to have been you.”

Her huntress pauses again, and Artemis will answer her questions later. She squeezes her thighs about her ears, and the girl resumes. “Oh come on, don’t give me that look. This is hysterical. People are going to be talking about this for years.”

He considers this for a long moment, then uncrosses his arms, “Okay, you have a point.”

“I know. Now if you don’t mind, I’m a little busy,” she gestures to the huntress between her legs.

Apollo snorts, “Get a few more girls in here, and maybe I’ll consider that busy.”

He slips away, but Artemis’s eyes narrow. That sounds like a challenge.

The girl replaces her mouth with a hand and asks, “Should I gather the other huntresses, lady goddess?”

“I like you,” Artemis says, and the girl laughs, cheeks flushed and lips shiny.

~

Hermes appears in the middle of the garden of Hades’s palace, and blinks twice.

The queen of the underworld is half naked and on top of Amphitrite, and several things fall in place at once. “Is this why you don’t get upset with Hades for his affair with Hecate?”

“There is no affair with Hecate, you’re just an indiscriminate gossip,” Persephone retorts. “And if they were having an affair, I wouldn’t have a problem with it, and it wouldn’t have anything to do with Amphitrite.”

“Oh,” he says. He feels rather derailed from his original point. “I came here to–”

“If this is about the minotaur, we already heard about it,” she says, “You can go now.”

They’ve already heard about it! “From who?!” This is the best news in centuries, and this person is ruining it.

“Aphrodite,” Amphitrite says, “She’s cross with you.”

Oh, this is war.

~

Ares feels a shiver go down his spine, and looks across the battle field. People are dying around him, but people are always dying around him. He doesn’t see anything particularly horrendous, so he doesn’t know who could have invoked him so powerfully that he felt it.

A young woman who had shared the last piece of sweet bread with him last night gets a spear shoved straight through her chest, and Ares decides he has more important things to worry about.

~

Athena is halfway through a tapestry that is to hang in Hestia’s rooms when Aphrodite appears next to her and says cheerfully, “Guess what Poseidon did?”

Normally Athena would fling anyone who dare to disturb her to the depths of Tartarus, but she’s always willing to talk of Poseidon’s misdeeds. “I’m listening.”

Hermes appears on her other side, glaring. “You trollop.”

“He made a queen fall in love with a bull, and she just had the kid. It’s got a bull head.” Her sister’s smile is positively vicious.

“I’ll make you suffer,” Hermes hisses, and slips away. Aphrodite follows, the sounds of her laughter echoing in the room.

Athena blinks, looking back to her loom, but is unable to concentrate.

Even she hadn’t seen that one coming.

~

Hera doesn’t get involved, she does not have opinions, as a rule if it doesn’t concern her then it doesn’t concern her.

She waits for her husband to leave, and tries not to worry about his mutterings about bulls, the queen-mother Europa, and how Pasiphae had the right idea of it. She steps into the throne room, and the fire burns cheerful and bright in the center of it.

She sits beside it, and no sooner has she done so than Hestia appears at her side. “You’ve heard then?”

“Hermes told me,” she rubs at her temples.

“Aphrodite got to me first,” Hestia says, and the goddess of the hearth seems entirely too cheerful, “I can say, of all the misdeeds Poseidon has wrought, this one is certainly … unique.”

She slumps and buries her face in her hands, “This whole family is mad, and we’re doomed to only become worse.”

Hestia laughs and puts an arm around her shoulder, “Come now, I think Hades is quite reasonable.”

Hera shifts enough only so that she can glare, “Hades chose to rule the dead and married Kore. He’s the maddest of us all.”

Hestia can’t refute that, so she starts finger combing Hera’s long, curly hair. Hera slumps back into her hands, and Hestia’s smile is soft as they sit there in silence, the only noise that of the crackling fire.

~

When Hephaestus returns to the volcano, it’s to his wife sitting in his throne with her arms crossed. “What did you do?” she asks.

“I just gave him a little suggestion, is all,” he says, and scoops Aphrodite into his arms so that he may reclaim his throne. She snuggles into his side, and if she’s trying to convince him that she’s mad at him, she’s doing a terrible job of it. “Daedalus has always been a very devout follower; he deserves a few good ideas.”

“He’s had enough ideas,” she says, because without his help the queen wouldn’t have found a way to consummate her love of the bull, “I don’t think he needs anymore.”

“Maybe,” Hephaestus murmurs, dragging his nose up her temple, “but imagine this – a labyrinth, bigger than any other, than this whole volcano.”

“That’s nice, dear,” Aphrodite says, and then proves to be distracting enough that Hephaestus puts his ideas aside.

At least for a little while.


gods and monsters series, part xii

read more from the gods and monsters series here

Signs as Gayle quotes
  • Aries: We're not gonna continue this conversation until you put some makeup on so I don't think I'm talking to Howard Stern.
  • Taurus: Today you look like a storyteller and I can't stand it.
  • Gemini: If you promise me you will take the photo with the scraps of my body, then I promise you my ghost will not haunt you from the afterlife.
  • Cancer: Every second you spend smiling like that, the value of this house is depreciating.
  • Leo: Cool, Ira, I hear what you're saying, but try not to talk, you sound like a lizard.
  • Virgo: You're Greek and I want you out of here.
  • Libra: If you mention my coupon stockade again in broad daylight, I'mma roast you like a pepper. I mean that. I mean every word of that.
  • Scorpio: So you're telling me that you leave your shoes, your muddy shoes on in this house and you leave the Swiffer wet cloths open? So what you're telling me when you're doing this is: why don't we just have a pig in the house?
  • Sagittarius: You've got a face of a Peeping Tom! You've got no lips. You have skin that turns into a mouth. You've got curious nose.
  • Capricorn: One day I saw a racoon so big, it looked like it had opinions.
  • Aquarius: It's time for me to assassinate Bonnie with my legs.
  • Pisces: In birthing classes they don't tell you that one day your progeny may develop sexual feelings for a lizard.