if you reblog this and try to contradict it so help me

the inquisitor and da4

Before delving into things, I’d like to make it clear that I’m not trying to rag on the Trespasser DLC in any way. In fact, I really enjoyed it. I also know that there was a quote floating around here from someone with Bioware who apparently stated that the Inquisitor won’t be playable in the next game (I can’t find the source or the exact quote right now), but I just wanted to give my two cents anyway.

How did the Trespasser DLC ensure that the Inquisitor would no longer be the playable protagonist? If anything, it only gave me the impression that the Inquisitor would be playing a major role in the next game. Wasn’t Trespasser being advertised as the ‘end’ of the Inquisition? I’m not saying they should have killed the Inquisitor off, but that would at least have been a definite ending to the Inquisitor’s story and would have effectively barred them off as the main character in Dragon Age 4. 

Having the Inquisitor return would make sense because, in a way, they are partially responsible for Solas:

Inquisitor: This war proved that we can’t go back to the way things were. I’ll try to help this world move forward.

Solas: You would risk everything you have in the hope that the future is better? What if it isn’t? What if you wake up to find that the future you shaped is worse than what was?

Inquisitor: I’ll take a breath, see where things went wrong, and then try again.

Solas: Just like that?

Inquisitor: If we don’t keep trying, we’ll never get it right.

Solas: You’re right. Thank you. You have not been what I expected, Inquisitor. You have… impressed me. You have offered hope that if one keeps trying, even if the consequences are grave, that someday, things will be better.

While Solas was already planning to destroy the world by allowing Corypheus to find his orb, his plans were foiled when Corypheus didn’t actually die. Thus, he was forced to find another way to regain his power. The Inquisitor inspired Solas to keep trying to rectify his mistakes. So yes, the consequences of doing so will be grave, but he must persist to make up for creating the Veil, no matter what. That being said, the Inquisitor cannot directly be blamed for what Solas is planning, but they should feel at least feel that it is their duty to stop him and once again save the world.

Sure, Leliana and the Inquisitor both agree that it would be best to find people that Solas doesn’t know since he is familiar with all of their faces and tactics, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that the Inquisitor will be staying on the sidelines while someone new goes after him. When speaking to Solas at the end of the DLC, the Inquisitor makes it sound like they will personally find a way to stop Solas from destroying the world:

Inquisitor: You don’t have to destroy the world. I’ll prove it to you.

Solas: I welcome the chance to be wrong once again, my friend.

OR

Inquisitor: If I live, I’m coming to stop you.

Solas: I know.

To me, Solas’ response to the first option even sounds like a direct invitation for the Inquisitor to try. Also, wouldn’t it make more sense narratively to have the Inquisitor confront Solas at the end of the next game? I think it would be likely that Solas would respond more positively to the Inquisitor than to someone he doesn’t really know. If you manage to get Solas’ approval high enough, he even tells you that he has great respect for the Inquisitor, so obviously, if anyone could persuade him, it’d be them. 

Solas even likens himself to the Inquisitor:

Solas: I was Solas first. “Fen’Harel” came later… An insult I took as a badge of pride. The Dread Wolf inspired hope in my friends and fear in my enemies… Not unlike “Inquisitor,” I suppose.

Solas: You also know the burden of a title that all but replaces your name.

Wouldn’t it be more fitting, then, for them to be the one actively working to find and confront Solas once and for all? Not to mention that having the Inquisitor be the one to face Solas in DA4 would also offer more closure to those who romanced him.

All Bioware really did was have the Inquisitor lose the forearm that the Anchor was attached to. Don’t tell me they expect us to believe that losing an arm means they can no longer go after Solas. Dragon Age is a series that has magic, dragons, elves… need I go on? My point is, implying that it’s not realistic for the Inquisitor to be returning as the playable protagonist in DA4 merely because of what happened to their arm is ridiculous. They can’t think of a way to give the Inquisitor some sort of prosthetic that will help them fight? Dagna exists! If anyone can invent something that can help the Inquisitor, it would be Dagna. Cullen even says that Dagna “crafts the impossible every day,” so… there you go. 

I know some think that DA4 will give you the choice to have either the new protagonist or the Inquisitor confront Solas, but that seems unlikely. Having the Inquisitor decide for your character or having the protagonist tell the Inquisitor what to do won’t be very gratifying. If anything, I can see Bioware coming up with a scenario in which the protagonist and the Inquisitor both confront Solas, which will result in the protagonist having to battle Solas with assistance from the Inquisitor. That would be a very cheap and cliché ending, if I’m being honest. I know that Bioware isn’t really one for originality, and their writing tends to contradict itself quite a bit, but I want to give them the benefit of doubt.

I’m also aware that the tradition for the Dragon Age series is that each game will have a new protagonist, but honestly if Bioware wanted that to happen, they shouldn’t have ended Trespasser the way they did. It was too open-ended to keep the Inquisitor from returning as the main protagonist. I hope that I don’t give the impression that I’m just really attached to the Inquisitor (the Warden is my favorite hero, personally). All I’m saying is that it would make for a much interesting and compelling story if the Inquisitor were to continue as the main character in the next game. 

My take on SnB:Vs Episode 14, another long trash post from yours truly. Damn I should make ‘My take’ a thing now! LONG. SUPER LONG since I’m ChariNina trash

WARNING: This post is very long and includes rants as well. Read at your own risk.

First I would like to finally say the words I’ve been meaning to shout to all yall, anti or not.

BTCH IS THIS NOT CANON ENOUGH FOR YOU? IS THIS NOT? LOOK AT IT. LOOT AT IT DAMN IT. AINT IT NOT FCKNG BEAUTIFUL? IS THIS NOT FCKNG CANON ENOUGH FOR YOU? BTCH IF YOU’RE BLIND TO THE TRUTH (No offense Chari) THEN LET ME SHOUT IT IN YO EARS AND IF YO TRYING TO BLOCK MY DAMN VOICE LEMME SHOVE IT IN YO FACE CAUSE IT’S CANON. C A N O N CANON BTCH.

That was good, that was reeeeaaaaaal good. WHAT? STILL DON’T BELIVE ME YOU PIECE OF- beautiful human flesh THEN LEMME POINT OUT HOW AND BRUH THIS IS GONNA BE LONG.

First up, my harto. I was stabbed multiple times because of that new opening and no it’s not because I have a raging cold that I feel like something is stabbing my heart I legit felt that. Like bro look at this.

LOOK AT IT. (Apologies for the low-quality screenshots, I couldn’t help myself since I hadn’t downloaded it online and was streaming it so yeah)

You know it’s legit when they’re the first ones in the OP but wait there’s more! (You clearly know this is gonna be pure ChariNina with a little bit of something something but still mainly ChariNina)

Okay time out, let’s appreciate the Chari fan service since people were complaining that they were making Nina fan service now.

I certainly am not complaining though,

Okay back on track, things I like to point out during this episode (basically all the ChariNina in this episode) and starting with the OP.

Okay fine since I like this I’ll- OH WAIT OH MY GOB THAT’S LUCIFER. BABY!!! I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU FOR 1 SEASON AND A HALF NOW OMG YOU STILL LOOKING FINE. Oh hey Azazel you’re looking okay too. You both look fine as hell though… quite literally huehuehuehue

Okay back to the OP, it was siiiiick. Some people said they didn’t like it compared to the 1st OP but this one was sick and intense like the first one, sure a little different, more on green less on red but it’s amazing for me. What I do want to point out are these.

Me while watching: GO NINA, RUN TO YO MAN!

Still me: *quiet*

Still me: *gasp*

Me: OHMYGOB CHARIOCE TEARS OMG PLS SEND HELP GET ME A BOTTLE CAUSE THAT SHT’S PRECIOUS! WHY YOU CRYING CHARI NOOOOOOO. I smell a backstory coming up.

Okay now to the episode, I’m sure most of you have seen it so I’m not gonna make story tell cause yall are here to see this trash of a post so you know how it goes, but still here; cute Nina coming home scene which is cute.

Yep, cute. Also, Nina is flexible af

Okay now were moving to the moment where all of us were either too focused and in it to fangirl or were fangirling because of everything that has been said.

Second up, OMG.

Me while watching this: Nina you better say yes.

SHE SAID YES OMG!!! I made it sound like she said yes to Chari proposing to her… that could be arranged though…

Me: *starts to fangirl*

Me: *Fangirls even more*

Me: *FKCNING FLIPS A TABLE*

Me: STAHP, STAHP DOING THIS TO MY HEART OMG THIS IS TOO BEAUTIFUL. SHE FELT SAFE WITH HIS OMG I’M CRYING.

Me: NINA GIRL YOU AINT THE ONLY ONE WHO’S HAPPY. I’M HAPPY, HE’S HAPPY, YOU’RE HAPPY WE’RE ALL HAPPY BECAUSE OF YOU TWO. JUST FKCNG KISS ALREADY.

Me: KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MAPPA WHAT THE HELL!!!!! KYAAAAAAAAAAA OMG I CAN’T OMG I JUST CAN’T I CAN’T RIGHT NOW I CAN’T. AGAIN, BTCH THEY CANON. AND YES NINA YOU WERE LITERALLY MADE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH CHARI.

Me: *insert lenny face here* (This galaxy is beautiful btw, props to the art in BahaSoul this is legit beautiful)

Me: Hihihihihihihihi. Huehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehue. I am pointing out again to the people who thought Nina’s heart was broken after she found out Chari was the King in the previous eps please go and suck on this.

JEANNE IS LITERALLY THE FANDOM RIGHT NOW. LIKE MAPPA LITERALLY PLACED A REPRESENTATION OF THE FANDOM IN-ANIME AND HOLY SHT JEANNE I COULD NOT AGREE MORE.

Me: *pauses*

Me: Naw Nina you don’t mean that girl… I mean you hated what he did as King, not as Chari!

Me: I know Nina… well I don’t know but what I would want is for you to get together.

Me: SEE NINA?! THANK YOU FOR GETTING MY POINT. YOU DON’T HATE HIM, YOU JUST DIDN’T LIKE WHAT HE DID! (Let’s appreciate the triple A writing here like this is some emotional sht right here)

Me answering for Nina and the fandom: YES.

I just want to point out how I said before that Nina wasn’t broken. Sure she felt hurt and this proves it now but she’s mostly confused and is in a state of wonder as to why he did all these things and how she should feel towards a person she loves but is doing all of these things to the other races. This is like Romeo and Juliet yknow. *end of serious*

Me: SEE NINA? YOU DON’T HATE CHARI! THANK YOU FOR CONTRADICTING YOURSELF.

Okay I just wanna point these out. The last images of Nina’s flashback to Chari was when Chari was smiling at her, and the last one was with his disguise as Chris. I feel as though this symbolizes that she didn’t fall in love with a king but in fact a person; a kind and great guy as she describes herself.

I mean look at this.

Aww

Awwww

AWWWWWWWW

All of what she remembers last is his smiles. THE SMILE PEOPLE THOUGHT WERE SARCASTIC AND WAS MEANT TO TAUNT HER. LOOK NOW BTCH, WHERE’S YOUR ANTI A**?

Ehem, anyway. I like what Jeanne is pointing out here.

(Jeanne really is literally the fandom in this right now)

Me: IT AINT A MAYBE JEANNE IT IS REAL! But seriously this is some good sht right here like dang, wow. This speaks to a whole other level, this can be applied in the real world.

Some of you maybe pointing out ‘but Jeanne doesn’t know who she likes and if she does she will definitely say no to this!’ My gob you antis never really shut up huh?

Do you really think Jeanne doesn’t have an idea of who this person may be when 1.) she saw how the king interacted with Nina back at the prison and 2.) she was literally there when Nina fought as a dragon to save her! She saw how Nina didn’t bite off Chari’s head when he came near her and it would be impossible for her not to see how she de-transformed into a human and he carefully caught her because she was fkng there and watching!

And if she really doesn’t know who this person Nina likes do you think she’ll hinder Nina from finding her happiness when the girl who was a complete stranger to her decided to be kind and help her? Nina could’ve left her but she didn’t and that’s because that’s who Nina is. Do you really think Jeanne would be selfish enough to try hinder Nina’s feeling for Charioce? Do you really think Jeanne would be the type of person who would tell Nina she can’t love him because he’s a bad guy?

Gob if you think so then you really don’t know who Jeanne D’Arc is and is just trying to make a way to break of Charioce and Nina.

Jeanne isn’t selfish enough to try and separate Nina from Charioce because of what he’s done. She might ask Nina if she’s sure with this and if Nina answers yes then she’ll support her, if Nina answers she doesn’t know then Jeanne will help her. Jeanne won’t stop Nina from loving who she wants and I want to make that perfectly clear not unless the creators suddenly decided to make Jeanne a dck which is highly not possible.

Okay moving on.

Here we have Nina contemplating on life rn. Don’t worry Nina baby we feel you.

You know something else I really liked this episode? Mama Dragon, I mean she’s not a dragon but Imma call her Mama Dragon. Mama Dragon is so nice and lovely and I feel bad because she lost her hubby, now I see where Nina gets her charms!

Also, thank you Mappa for giving us a legit mom and not some hot super model mother who looks the same age as her daughter. Very nice.

Mama Jeanne and Mama Dragon mom time. This is legit probs the only time Jeanne has ever cried her feelings out, leave it to a mom to comfort another mom.

Overall, I am very happy with how this episode turned out. We go an insight of Nina’s feelings and saw how she’s coping with the info she got. This gives a new depth to Nina since people just see her as an overly optimistic person but just because she’s optimistic doesn’t mean she doesn’t have trouble too. Now I’m happy most especially about badass granny dragon! Like look at her! She’s so cool!

Ah 2017 has been a good year for romance. Not for me though but ChariNina’s romance is enough to make me feel happy for love.

I was gonna add my ED thoughts in here too but that would be a liiiiitttttlle to much for one post (as 2k words isn’t already ‘too much’) so if you’re interested you can go ahead and see that too!

Well this ends another long a** post and yes, this is canon now, you just saw the proof.

I hope you enjoyed my thoughts, I aint here to cause arguments and those anti anti things are just forms of expressions so don’t take this too seriously and attack me, although I would like to hear your thoughts my intention is not to cause fights but to fangirl and give my honest opinions.

Feel free to reblog and comment and have a ChariNina filled life!

Hello, guys. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but in my beloved, you’d think civilised, beautiful country, located in central Europe, Poland, the basic human rights are about to be taken away from women. Why is that? The Polish government, inspired mainly by the Catholic Church (that has definitely too much power in Poland), has created an anti-abortion project. For now, abortion in Poland is legal in case of rape or if the mother’s/child’s life is in danger. If the anti-abortion project comes through (which is very likely) the situation of Polish women will change dramatically:

- aborting a pregnancy that has started because of rape will no longer be legal (3 months to 5 years of prison for the mother and the doctor),

- aborting a pregnancy that endangers the mother’s life will no longer be legal (3 months to 5 years of prison for the mother and the doctor),

- aborting a pregnancy in case of a fatal disease of the fetus will no longer be legal (3 months to 5 years of prison for the mother and the doctor),

- the project says that whoever puts the woman in a situation of a probable miscarriage could be charged of 3 years in prison, which in practice means that some of the medical exams (like the prental exam which helps to indicate if the fetus is healthy) could not be available because of the doctors being afraid of going to prison,

- it all also means that men could get easily away with rape, since the women would be afraid of going to the police in case they got pregnant and didn’t want to give birth to the rapist’s child (which they will now be forced to do),

- also, on the side of this project, the Catholic Church wants to make in vitro even less available for families struggling to have children, since apparently “it’s basically just killing unconcieved babies” (?? fuck logic),

- what’s more, they’ve recently withdrawn chemical contraception for women from the pharmacies (things like spermicidal gels, liquids, creams, vaginal suppositories) cause they’re apparently “dangerous for women’s health”, so now the only contraception available without a prescription are condoms,

- don’t even get me started with the level of sexual education in Poland which is basically non-existent. Recently, just this week, a 12 year old girl gave birth to a child. A 12-yr old!! She had sex (they said it was consensual, but who fucking even believes this shit) with a 29 year old man. The doctors said she didn’t even know what was going on during the labour, she of course had to have C-section because her body was obviously not ready to have a baby at such young age. There are so many cases like this.

- all of this is supposed to “help” with the demographic decline and to “encourage” people to have more kids. Let me tell you something - if anything this encourges me to is to not have babies  a t    a l l.

Let me also show you some of the social media responses of “pro-life” activists and give you a glimpse of what kind of shit Polish women have to deal with:

“If the pregnancy started because of rape, the only victim is the child that can lose its life.”

“If abortion is such a dramatic decision to make, it’ll be better to not let women make it. To ban abortion.”

“Womanhood is all about being in service of life. Women/female MPs who are against life, contradict their own womanhood.”

“All of these women screaming that “their belly, their choice” [should know] that the life in their bellies belongs only to the child. Selfish women, assassins like during Holocaust. You just lend your body to give new life. You should be happy you were not killed. There should be no abortion.”

“Abortion is barbaric (…) and it will be remembered as equally bad as genocide and gas chambers.”

I found these in 5 minutes. Women are treated with no respect, they’re believed to be stupid and not fit to make decisions about their own bodies. Men leading our country (most of them are very religious) want to decide about what we should do with our bodies. Please, help us. Spread the word. We are trying to fight this, but we’re in the minority… The world needs to know!!


Edit:

Guys, if you wanna help, there’s a petition to sign!!

Just venting more abt the disconnect between what terfs think being trans is like and what its actually like:

“Bullying/assault based on effeminate behavior is just redirected homophobia!!!”

Ok then why did the boys (and girls) harassing and sometimes assaulting me throughout school make especial note/observation about the fact that I “acted/walked/etc like a girl”?

“You faced bullying as a GNC male sweaty : ))) transphobia isnt real. i know that, as a gay cis women. haha reblog, syster, i felt that burn from here : ) )”

The key bit there is “gender non-conforming”. Almost like….. Being bullied for rejecting the gender assigned to me….. Almost like…. Being rejected for behaving/existing in a way that contradicts gender. If only it had a better name. One that actually described it…. Like…. Transphobia.

“But we’re trying to abolish gender! We’re actually working FOR your goals as well, you just don’t know it!! If only you stupid genderist mogais actually had critical thinking haha!! well once we abolish gender by making snarky thinkpiece articles about not shaving our legs, and shooting down other marginalized people trying to tell us about their experiences by constantly referencing some of THE most oppressed people in the world (ie, women forced into sex-trafficking or who have experienced genital mutilation), while doing absolutely shit all to help them at the same time, and only actually bringing them UP in the first place in order to downplay the marginalization and oppression of transwomen, particularly nonwhite, non-American, poor trans women, you’ll have to thank us!! Because you’ll be free of gender haha!”

Oh boy that’s great. Except it solves absolutely none of my issues whatsofucking ever because even the completely hypothetical and largely unrealistic concept of “abolishing gender” does shit all about the massive amount of bodily/sex/sex-trait dysphoria I suffer and have suffered from since, uh, like, 4. Same for every other dysphoric trans person, which is, uh, most of us.

“I’m so sorry the medical system is capitalizing off of your dysphoria like this. If only there were… Other solutions available.”

You’re right. I am being capitalized off, as is pretty much fucking everyone else on this hellish shitplanet. Are you going to take on and abolish the privatization of the medical system or maybe capitalism itself, too, or is this just another “I’m bringing this up so I can look smart and fit as many critiques of society into my praxis as possible while arguing with people, without actually EVER bringing them up on their own outside of the context of using them as conversational tools to make myself look good” things? Seems like the latter, but, y'know, what does a dumb genderist know?

By the by, what are those other options? Are you going to try to talk me out of my dysphoria? Because I tried doing that for the first 17 years of my life, and it kinda just made everything worse and sorta fucked me up/delayed my development as a human being.

When that doesn’t work, what are you going to do? Are you, perchance, maybe, just going to go full-circle with your hypocritical bullshit and start giving conversion-therapy to dysphoric trans kids to try to brainwash it out of us? Maybe I’m reaching here, but “other options” sounds a tiny bit sinister to a deeply dysphoric gal who’s dysphoria is rooted heavily in her own body and not some bullshit societal standards, like y'all seem to always think.

“Always arguing and trying to force your opinions on womyn/lesbians. What typical male behavior. Male socialization is never, ever admitting you’re wrong in an argument while women are forced to walk away frustrated.”

Oh, you mean like how you constantly hardline when your ideology is challenged, purposefully and spitefully misgender any trans women who has the godawful, stubborn gall to disagree with you, and keeping bringing up and rebranding the same tired, twisted bullshit to justify your transphobia even after it’s disproven, over and over again? Like that? God I’m sorry wanting basic respect/the correct pronouns is so horrible and aggressive of me. Wanting Terfs to stop running off at the mouth about issues surrounding trans women they have no knowledge or understanding of is just,,,, god, guys, I guess they beat me. The terfs one. We can all go home now folks.

“Well, regardless, womyn are still oppressed for their biology/reproductive role in a way that a dumb male tranny male like you could just,,, never understand.”

OH, you mean like reproductive organs? Like, uh, the uterus, or maybe the ovaries and endometrial system? The kinda ovaries I have? The kind of ovaries I possess inside of my stupid fleshbody as an intersex trans women? THOSE ovaries? I want to outright make a reference to the “the poison for Kusko” line here but this is dragging on long enough.

“Ok!! But!! Unlike crippled sex slaves from X third-world country I just now googled to have a leg up in this argument, you were never OPPRESSED for having those organs so uhm, checkmate. Also, I guess now I’m going to have to carefully avoid gendered terms when referring to you and address you in tones of thinly veiled pity because regarding you, an intersex person, as anything other than a negative exception, an aberration, and a mistake of nature would compromise my hard-line position of sex being a rigid, immutable, unchanging, and entirely binarized system where everyone has one exact experience in life or another!! It’s gonna get, like! Really bad! To the point where I’m being an ableist piece of shit and basically insinuating you have less worth as a human being than most other people, because you lack a reproductive role!! Haha. Its not hypocritical of me at all though just so you know!”

Well, Tiffany Rose Anne Terf Bangs, I guess you aren’t experiencing too much maiming or oppression yourself, right now, if you have time and inclination to be an asshole on a blogging website.

“How DARE you make light of-”

Hold up. Freeze-frame. I’m arguing more, like the evil, violent male I am.

How come, uh? How come, whenever you bring up the plight of abused/circumcised/sex-trafficked, non-white women? How come it is that you almost ALWAYS bring them up EXCLUSIVELY in the context of using them as a source of leverage in petty discourse with “genderists” on tumblr? I see maybe, like 1 post freely and independently discussing the plight of non-white, non-western, heavily-oppressed women for every 8 I see using them as a rhetorical tool to outdo trans women trying to tell you that we, y'know, oftentimes get shit on too.

That’s just kind of funny to me. Kind of odd.

Mind you, I don’t pretend to be some incredibly intelligent, educated, massively intersectional feminist praxis godhead. I’m white as hell and first-world and most of the time, just far enough above the poverty line to pay for the essentials.

I have privileges many people don’t.

But at least I have the common DECENCY to let my arguments stand or fall on their own legs.

At least I just make my own fucking points without dragging in marginalized groups I otherwise demonstrate that I give absolutely no shits about in order to one-up other people.

At least I don’t hide my spite for “genderists”, particularly camab women, behind really thin veils of feminism I really only preach when it’s convenient to tearing those same fucking people down.

I’ve got my privileges and I mostly only focus on my own issues, or issues relevant to people like me in areas where I can reach, because that’s about all my pathetic, poor, mentally ill ass can handle, but at least I don’t fucking pretend to care about suffering people when it’s really, really, really obvious I only see them as a discourse foot-stool to stand a little taller and look a little better on.

If you actually gave a SHIT about the people you’re bringing up, I sort of doubt you’d have a blog devoted to whinging about trans people on Tumblr. You might, at the very least, have a blog devoted to actually discussing those peoples’ issues and ways to help them, and invest your time there instead.

But what the hell do I know?

Not much, probably. I don’t pretend like my praxis and beliefs are the end-be-all, unlike some.

There’s a lot more I want to shriek and shake tree branches and rant and run in circles about, but I think this individual post is big enough, and I need to sleep.

Lean In: Chapter Two

Thank you for all your lovely comments and reblogs/likes. You guys made me so happy! I’ve decided to make this a multi-chapter fic to cover Owen and Amelia’s journey back to one another. Enjoy! 💜

AO3   FFN


 “Breakfast is almost ready,” Amelia says, her voice quiet, when Owen pads through the kitchen to their half bath. Megan is still asleep and she doesn’t want to wake her. She knows that sleep is essential to her recovery–her physical recovery at least. The Trazodone given to her at the hospital seems to work, blocking out the symptoms of Megan’s PTSD long enough for her to rest. It does leave the woman with a bit of a hangover in the morning, but for now, it’s worth the grogginess. She deals with enough pain during the day; she doesn’t need it at night, too.

Amelia sighs, letting her shoulders slump after Owen disappears behind the bathroom door. She flips the waffle maker and taps her fingers idly on the granite counter, nodding her head slightly with the beat of her nails. She needs to move, to stay busy, because otherwise, she will fall apart.

She doesn’t know what to do or how to act. He’s not doing much better. They have talked, talked for the first time in months, about their marriage, and, yet, the world is not yet righted. There are a million times a day that they fall back into their old habits, their ease with each other evident, only for the moment to be abruptly shattered. Their hands will brush as they prepare dinner, him cooking the food while she’s chopping the vegetables, and, for a second, it feels normal. They are the same people they’ve always been. And then he pulls away, and she feels cold. She gets it, she really does, but it doesn’t make things any easier. And today is no better. To go from the intimacy of pouring her heart out the night before, to his tender embrace and warm lips, to the sterility of mere roommates is a shock to her system. It’s as if someone is playing with the temperature controls to her body: building her up to a comforting warmth of love and affection and then chilling her blood until there’s only pain in her bones.

But she can’t fall apart. That much is certain. Her husband needs her. So does his sister.

So she makes his coffee without a word, pouring him a mug from the pot and adding a little cream and a teaspoon of sugar, just the way he likes it. When he comes back out, walking into the kitchen once more, he’s a little startled by her offering. She hands him his coffee and he wraps his hands around the warm ceramic, breathing in the delicious aroma. He takes a quick sip, smiling gently at her remembrance. She always makes his coffee just right. She has a way of making everything just right, he thinks.

He takes a seat at the island as she turns back to finish the last of the waffles. He watches her quietly, his eyes glued to her back, her form tiny and lost in the oversized shirt she’s wearing. It’s not his, he notices, and it pains his heart to be reminded of their current circumstances. She would hardly ever wear her own clothes to bed, even when they first started dating. They are farther apart than they have ever been, taking steps back to near-strangers. Except they aren’t strangers. And he isn’t sure how to rectify those contradictions.

Keep reading

Eruri Fic: Payback

I’m a day late (again) but here’s a reblog for Canon Eruri Week Day 5 prompt: Formal Attire/Funding Parties.


Erwin sighs in frustration and runs his fingers through his hair. Elbows propped on the desk, he places his head in his hands, and presses the heel of his palms into his temples. Levi is sitting on the couch on the far side of his office, legs crossed, arms folded, the very embodiment of stubbornness. For the last hour Erwin has been trying, without success, to persuade his lance corporal to attend the gala in the capital. Their funding is increasingly precarious and the questions being asked about their recent lack of success are becoming harder to avoid. If the Survey Corps is to survive, they need more funding and the only way to get it right now is to court the nobles and politicians. Erwin does not enjoy these events, far from it, but he knows it’s part of the job, a necessary evil, and he can swallow his pride and turn on the charm when necessary. Levi, on the other hand, makes no attempt to disguise his contempt for politicking. He openly despises the upper classes and his sharp tongue has a tendency to become poisonous in their presence. Still, for all that, he is one of the Survey Corps few notable assets. Erwin knows that many of the nobles are burning with curiosity about the enigmatic Captain Levi, the underground thug turned saviour of humanity, and he is not above exploiting their fascination, even if it means being on the receiving end of Levi’s notorious temper. It’s a small price to pay for the survival of the Survey Corps.

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anonymous asked:

I think one of the things about SPN that is so interesting is... characters lie. All the time. And we aren't always given obvious reasons to suspect they're lying until later when they say something contradictory. I saw a post the other day about Rowena and how she'd mentioned Crowley was conceived during an orgy (something I'd forgotten) and it occurred to me with later information we had... that doesn't sound likely if she knew who the father was and was abandoned by him. (1/2)

This has a point that’s relevant, sorry. What I was referring to is the post about Becky and how we don’t know why she and Chuck broke up because there is conflicting info, so we have to make our best guess. In a weird way, “canon” isn’t canon, because a surface text reading doesn’t account for characters being disingenuous. We aren’t told which is the lie and which is the truth every time, we kinda gotta figure it out for ourselves using what we make of the characters and additional context(2/2

Hi there! And if this isn’t a potentially loaded question, I don’t know what is. And it’s something that’s even been raised as a question in text on multiple occasions, which makes it a valid thing for us to question and carefully consider. You may have seen this old post I reblogged a little while ago with an addition about context:

http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/162709800125/mittensmorgul-i-offer-this-up-as-a-metaphor-for

Congrats, you’re the anon I was referring to in the little blurb at the bottom of that post :D

I’ll start by saying that yes, we know the characters are capable of lying. In 6.03, Dean tells this to Ben in plain words:

Dean: Ben, I know you’re lying… Because I lie professionally, that’s how. Now tell your mom that you broke the damn thing and take it like a man. Okay? Okay.

He lies professionally. In 5.03, he explains why he lies to Cas, by lying about it:

Dean: Seriously? You’re going to walk in there and tell him the truth?
Castiel: Why not?
Dean: Because we’re humans. And when humans want something really, really bad, we lie.
Castiel: Why?
Dean: Because that’s how you become President.

Dean’s explanation of why they were going to lie to the cops was also a lie. Walking into the police station and politely informing them the gas station explosion was caused by an archangel taking his vessel would’ve resulted in them being either laughed out of the police station or locked up on a 72 hour involuntary psychiatric hold. Yet Dean didn’t need to explain that to the audience, because we’re supposed to understand that fact. That’s where critical thinking skills come into play. We understand the humor of what he said to Cas anyway, without having to be led by the hand and told that Dean was joking there.

So I’d argue with your assertion that “Canon isn’t canon because characters lie sometimes.” It’s all still canon, because the characters DID say these things, but it’s up to us if we accept or reject the surface text reading as honestly intended dialogue, or sarcasm, or humor, or a misdirection, or a warning that there’s something deeper happening beneath the surface layer text. Sometimes the surface layer text sets off alarm bells because it directly contradicts other facts that have already been established, and in those moments we’re SUPPOSED to react by yelling out at the TV, questioning the character’s motives for saying something we already understand to be incorrect, you know?

It’s still incorrect to assume that EVERYTHING the characters say is a lie, or untrustworthy, or unreliable. Just because a character CAN be unreliable as a narrator doesn’t mean that they’re ALWAYS unreliable as a narrator.

It’s our jobs as viewers to apply critical thinking skills, combined with our previously established understanding of the characters, and the information we already have about the situation the characters are dealing with on screen, and then interpret the subtext and visual narrative cues the show has established over more than a decade of telling us this story, and not just make willy-nilly random assumptions about scenes, but incorporate ALL of that into an educated assessment of what’s most likely.

Because despite all of that ^^, and the fact that multiple interpretations are certainly possible, and character motivations and unverifiable statements (like Rowena’s story of how Crowley was conceived, or even Crowley’s story of having sold his soul for “an extra three inches below the belt” since that’s another character statement I’ve personally always doubted) are more open to potential interpretation than things like entire plotlines and situations that are directly contradicted by events we have seen or will see with our own eyes, not all interpretations of those larger events are equally probable.

It reminds me of the scene in 2.14, after Sam-possessed-by-Meg told a very one-sided and hurtful version of the story of how her father had died, having been shot in the head by John Winchester, leaving room for Jo to doubt whether it had been an accident that her father could potentially have survived if John had tried to save him instead of shooting him. Meg was deliberately trying to upset Jo, and it worked, to an extent:

JO: I know demons lie, but … do they ever tell the truth too?
DEAN: Uh, um, yeah, sometimes, I guess. Especially if they know it’ll mess with your head. (Another swig.) Why do you ask?

Thing is, your very first assumption there, that the characters lie all the time, is equally untenable. Because just as often as they lie, they DO tell the truth. Not everything they say is equally open to interpretation or doubt. For a random fun-fact, like the situation in which Crowley was conceived, didn’t affect the larger narrative. It only provided characterization for Rowena. This was how she CHOSE to present herself when we were first introduced to her, but then we watched her character develop over the next few seasons. We began to understand her, her history, her motivations.

We saw her less as a carefree villain and more as a woman who’d been used, abused, wronged, and who’d reinvented herself multiple times as she amassed the power to not only take back control over her own life, but in search of revenge against those who’d wronged her. In 11.09 we learned the painfully harsh truth about why she may have originally been so flippant about Crowley’s father. And again in 12.11 we learned yet more reasons why she’d carefully crafted her cool facade, during her conversation with the witch who’d once thought of Rowena as little more than a disposable sex toy. So understanding Rowena’s history with the benefit of later canon and context, it not only helps us understand that her original self-narrative was a lie in the first place, but it gives us the ability to understand why she would’ve told that particular lie about herself. This is how you write complex, three-dimensional characters with depth.

Now with the Chuck and Becky situation, we have learned many things over the years about both of those characters, as well. Ultimately it doesn’t matter to the narrative why they broke up, nor does it matter whether Becky was telling the truth about why. The only thing a varied interpretation on whether she was lying there could potentially change is how we feel about her as a character. Do we sympathize with her? Do we have a greater insight into her as a “person” and what her motivations in life may be? Does a varied interpretation also affect the way we view Chuck as a character, especially when taken through the lens of late s11 Chuck episodes where it’s confirmed not only that he was God all along, but also in 11.20 we see through Metatron’s questioning of him, his motivations, his entire autobiography, that Chuck was sort of veracity-impaired as well? Being able to question the veracity of Becky’s statements all those years before lends us a greater understanding of Chuck as a character, too. Especially once we understand the depth of his denial over the original act that made all of creation possible in the first place.

Ultimately it doesn’t affect the larger story, other than to support our understanding of the characters, and offer a depth to explore the characters more fully.

That’s just good writing. It forces us to question things, forces us to really think about things, and hits us on an emotional and sympathetic level that colors our interpretations.

If the narrative just came straight out and told us all these things, it would be boring. The characters wouldn’t be three dimensional. We wouldn’t be able to think about them as if they were real people. They’d just be paper cutouts with words written on them telling us exactly who they were and what their motives and intentions were. There’d be nothing to actively engage us in the narrative.

That said, this is why looking at isolated incidents out of context of the rest of the things we already know and understand about the characters will often lead to wonky interpretations that don’t really work when viewed in context with the rest of the narrative.

I think this kinda-sorta addresses your question? I hope? This is such a difficult topic to discuss, because it does introduce subjectivity into the narrative. The thing is (and this is partly where the concept of “meta” differs from “headcanon” or “speculation”), at least the way I approach it, meta is grounded in postmodern literary critique, and not just random commentary on random things without a foundational understanding of how stories are told.

Not everything is as open to interpretation as everything else. There are rules to this gig, and actual meta will at least acknowledge that those rules exist. :P

anonymous asked:

Could you elaborate a bit more on Ouma's feelings towards Saihara and his past? Lovely blog by the way!

Absolutely! I’m very invested in saiouma and I don’t mind discussing it in more detail at all!

I’ll be referencing @kaibutsushidousha‘s translated FTEs for Ouma again, so if any of you haven’t read those yet, I really recommend checking them out. I believe they’re also translating Korekiyo’s FTEs right now, and have plans to translate some of Angie’s, too!

As usual, there will be some pretty heavy spoilers for Chapter 5 through the end of the game when discussing Ouma, so anyone who doesn’t want to be spoiled that far ahead shouldn’t read past this!

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AvPD Pondering…

I’m not constantly aware that I’m avoiding things, nor do I catch myself being explicitly self deprecating. I wondered if others realized when they were doing these things? 

When I’m talking to someone my internal monologue isn’t- ‘I’m worse than this person therefore my opinion and what I say has less value’. I just don’t speak up, I don’t find what I have to say as Word Worthy as what they’re saying (which contradicts this point I know!! but it’s different in my head), and sometimes I find I can’t even think of anything to say? Maybe I’m just a boring person without any opinions, but I don’t know… I’m usually engaged, but I find it hard to throw in my own two cents.

Also, do you find you agree to things without really thinking about it? I tend to automatically believe the other person knows exactly what they’re talking about, they have all of the information, and I don’t feel the need to question them at all. Even with things I KNOW I know, but I almost…. forget (?) I know them. Example (i find examples to be SO helpful, much more so than a list of symptoms): Yesterday I got a call at work and the guy said he’d called the previous day about something and I completely didn’t remember the conversation, but I went along with it, assuming I had forgotten an entire interaction with another human. It turned out one of my coworkers had answered the call, so it had nothing to even do with me. But there I was, so comfortable blaming myself for forgetting a conversation without even taking a second to think maybe I hadn’t gotten the call. And that kind of scares me. I do things like that a lot, too much, almost all the time. But then we come back to the self awareness aspect of it, because I was so. ready. to blame myself, but I didn’t consciously think, ‘Oh I’m an inferior person who does everything wrong therefore I must have forgotten this call’. It was just automatic. 

My brain isn’t constantly YOU’RE THE WORST HUMAN AND NO ONE LIKES YOU

It’s- wow you definitely screwed that up and here are the 2001 things that are going to go wrong because of it

Or not feeling surprised or left out when people forget me

Is this relatable? I know it’s long and rant-y, but if anyone would like to chime in, that would be wicked helpful! (I’m seriously looking for help)

anonymous asked:

The thing I like most about mystic messenger is how all the characters are actually written to be likable people, you know? That alone makes the game worth playing to me~ like for example, Amnesia memories, tbh I think that game was way more solid than mm but since the characters just weren't likable, I just didn't like it at all...what do you like most about mm?

*Slams hands on desk* what do I LIKE aBOUT MysTIC MESSenger???

I hope you know I’m extremely biased because I’ve created two Mystic Messenger blogs and written some 40K words of fanfiction for this fandom. But well, you asked about why I like the game, not an impartial review, so here we go! (Below the cut) (Note– due to the nature of this, there will very likely be spoilers below as well, as evidence to back up my opinions) (Also, this got very, very long)

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There are so many great fics out there that need to be recognized! If you find something you like on this list, be sure to show it the appreciation it deserves with likes, reblogs, and messages to the author! I hope you can find something to enjoy, and remember that if you’d like me to see your work, be sure to tag me in it!

Just a reminder that no all/mostly smut fics will be added. If they’re part of a series I will link non-smut parts.

Because this is so long I’ve put all the fic recs under the cut. Enjoy!

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anonymous asked:

Ikkin talk to me about how Zaheer helped Korra, my jaw dropped at that scene and also the makorra, tell me how in this episode the makorra contrasts makorra in the past, I think this is my second favorite episode in Book 4 so far.

(I kind of feel like this would be better off as two separate asks, since there’s significant meta possibilities for both of them.  XD;

For now, I’m going to avoid the shipping request, though feel free to make a separate ask for that.  The Zaheer half is plenty to talk about in a single post)

I’m kind of surprised that I haven’t seen anyone approach the Zaheer-and-Korra scene from a mental health perspective yet.  I guess it could be out there, but no one I follow reblogged anything of the sort, so I guess my Google Fu will have to suffice.

The thing with that, of course, is that I kind of have to rely on what’s readily available, and most of what’s readily available about PTSD treatments seems to be very general descriptions.  =P

…then again, it’s not like the show could go into details anyway.  There just isn’t enough time to be fully realistic about things like this; all the show can do is represent the general concepts.

I think it does that quite well, though, starting from the framing of Korra’s issues as an inability to find meaning in her suffering: “I am trying to understand why this happened to me.  Nothing makes any sense.”

Korra’s confrontation with Zaheer continues that, drawing a bit from some of the forms of therapy for and theories about the resolution of PTSD.

The first of these is Cognitive Processing Therapy, which involves “addressing ways of thinking that might keep you ‘stuck’ and get in the way of your recovery from symptoms of PTSD and other problems” (1).  It’s meant to help people think about trauma in a different way so they can make sense of what happened and learn to cope with it (2). 

Zaheer’s way of doing this is blunt and forceful, but it shades every interaction he has with Korra (even before she convinces him to help her get into the Spirit World).

He’s being a real jerk here, of course — he’s basically triggering her on purpose — but the point is to shatter her unhelpful illusion that seeing him in chains would make her fear go away.  Every part of his action is a statement, including the chain holding him back, and what he’s saying is that her fear is not affected by her conscious knowledge that he can’t really hurt her.

Once she accepts that she’s still afraid, he’s more direct about telling her that the way she’s acting is getting in her way of her recovery:

She seems to accept what he said, too; her anger at him quickly shifts to despair at ever being able to recover.  But he rejects that, too:

Korra had been assuming that she’d never be the same in the sense that she’d never get better.  But Zaheer reframes that to say, “Of course you’re not the same, but that doesn’t mean you can’t use the resources you have to become something better.”

Korra doubts that’s possible, since her experience has left her feeling limited by external forces.  Zaheer’s response is to reframe the trauma itself into proof that she has no limits:

What an amazing way to understand what Korra went through!  She’s been associating that event with weakness and helplessness and failure all this time, when the very fact of her survival shows that she’s capable of doing the impossible. 

Korra’s actions after being poisoned demonstrated near-unimaginable strength.  She endured minute after agonizing minute of the poison’s effects trying to stave off the Avatar State, and fought for even longer after it triggered.  But she couldn’t see any of that; all she could see was how close she came to dying.  Zaheer has to tell her how much power that must have taken for her to even consider what that means.

Even after Korra starts re-experiencing what happened to her, Zaheer continues to challenge her beliefs.  She doesn’t believe she can let her flashback play out; he insists that she can.  She believes she has no control; he reminds her that she has a choice in how she responds to her experience.

The flashback sequence reflects a supplementary treatment and a theoretical understanding of how PTSD works, too.

Interestingly enough, meditation is considered to be a complementary treatment for PTSD because of its ability to help with relaxation and stress reduction (3).  Prolonged Exposure Therapy uses breathing exercises to help people relax (2), but one can imagine that Zaheer might have seen meditation as providing the same benefits.

The other thing to note in the above gif is that Zaheer asks Korra to focus on his voice — the very voice that she hears in her nightmares! — and thereby creates a direct contradiction in her perception.  The voice she associated with torture and death is the one offering her comfort and encouragement.

And that, I think, reflects the idea that fear associations are either broken down or replaced by the incorporation of incompatible information.

The first theory of how exposure therapy works, the Emotional Processing Theory, posits that confronting a feared stimulus activates a “fear structure” including ideas about the stimulus, its meaning, and how to respond to it.  According to the theory, when that structure is activated in a context where some of its elements are incorrect, a new structure is developed to take it into account and replaces the old one.  Another model, the Inhibitory Learning Model, rejects the idea that old associations are removed, and says instead that the old meanings still exist even after contradictory evidence is provided, but new meanings are created that compete with the old ones (4).

Either way, it seems like Zaheer’s acting to show Korra that her memory is a different thing from her initial experience, and that she’s in no real danger from either it or him.  That the memory transforms into the Spirit World at the end is a way to make that separation final.

In general, it seems like the writers put a lot of thought into making this scene reflect the process of healing from trauma, even if the end result is a permanent end to the flashbacks.  It seems pretty impressive to me!

Sources: [1] [2] [3] [4]

Gifs by Makos-Lightningrod: [1] [2] [3]

Lucky I’m In Love With…Joshifer Drabble...

I always end up doing this… meant to be studying, then think hey maybe I’ll work on that fic I’m halfway through… buuuut my brain decides to write a full new drabble instead! So I’ve literally written this in a night (I’d guess 2 hours all in?) and I apologize if it’s meh. But otherwise - I really hope you enjoy, and like/reblog and send me a wee message to let me know what you thought, or just to tell me that you read it! Thank you!

PS WARNING: I HAVE WRITTEN (well attempted to write) SMUT. (I’d say I’m getting better at it, but I don’t even know, no matter what I do I still think it’s bad when i try to put it into words)… but well, you have been warned! :)

“I just want someone who I can eat cereal with at 2am…”

Lucky I’m In Love With…

I stumble through the door, a wide grin stretched on my face and a laugh fading from my lips, kicking off my shoes as I go and not stopping as I swoop down to pick them up. I don’t even look behind to see if he is following - I know he will be as soon as I hear the door click and lock.

I’ve already shimmied out of my jeans when Josh stumbles in to our bedroom after me, smiling still. “Thanks for the hand back there,” he jokes and I nearly burst into another fit of the giggles thinking back to him animatedly stumbling over the plant pot and tree roots that have been in the garden longer than we have had this house.

“Don’t… you’ll set me off again, Flappy!” I snort and mimic his dramatic arm flail. “Ha!” My shoulders bounce as I try to keep my laugh silent, clutching my stomach as it contracts again. “Noooo,” I moan. “Why did you remind meeee? My stomach can’t take another work out!” I squeal.

I see him smirk and try to hide his own grin, but eventually he shakes his head in defeat and joins in. I sigh and calm, shrugging off my blazer and pulling my shirt over my head. Josh falls silent too, subconsciously wetting his lips as I un-clip my bra. I reach for my sleep shorts and he tosses me his shirt as he pulls on his own sweats. He leaves his shirt off as I tug his on; his scent lingering on the soft cotton.

“Hungry?”

“Starrrving!”

I knot my hair and we make a beeline for the kitchen.

*

It’s 2am, we’re a little drunk still from the bar we left our friends at and we’re sitting in the dim light of our living room, eating Lucky Charms.

I tuck my feet up on the couch, folding them in a basket under me, spooning more, coloured cereal and now sweetened milk into my mouth. Josh sits next to me, tipping his bowl into his mouth, slurping the dregs straight from it. His shoulder brushes against mine, warm even through his shirt that I wear. He sweeps his tongue across his lips, and I shudder. He’s got to be doing this on purpose.

“What you wanna watch?” I ask, trying (and failing) to hold my food in my mouth. I wipe my chin and follow the trail down to the spot absorbing into Josh’s shirt. He chuckles.

“Aren’t you glad you married meeee?” I grin, shoveling the last of the remaining pieces into my mouth. I grin widely to him, a sloppy mess with green and blue chunks on my teeth, and let the bowl clatter on the table beside me.

He flips on the TV and flops back down beside me, slinging a heavy arm around my shoulders.

“So glad, Jen.”

“For my grace, beauty and class, huh?” I snuggle closer to him, burying my head on to his bare chest.

“For your shit, beauty and ass, Hun,” he whispers and I feel him smirking into my hair before his lips press against it.

“Well that too,” I laugh, exhaling out and latching myself onto his torso even more. I can feel his breath on my hair, and I can see mine pebbling the skin across his chest.

“You’re my best friend, Joshy.”

I don’t even know if he hears me, I’m so quiet.

But he does.

I look up to him and my lips carry me first, pressing firmly against his easily, as they have a thousand times before.

His arm moves from my shoulders in time with me as I shift from beside him, and soon I am straddling him, my knees sinking into the couch cushions either side of his legs while my hips rock against his, his hands gripping mine and running up my sides. His tongue reaches out, I’m already ready to welcome him as he slips past my lips, lost in entirely in him and the feeling of his strong chest and hair in my hands, and his hardness on my centre.

I tear my lips away, letting our hot breaths pant and mix together for a moment. I reach down and cross my arms, slipping Josh’s shirt from me in a fluid motion. He doesn’t hesitate for a second before his mouth encloses one breast, swirling his tongue over my peaking nipple and rubbing a thumb over the other. His hands slide down to my bare legs, gripping my thighs. I groan, rolling my hips over him instinctively.

“Go-od, Josh… Josh, I need you. Oh I need you.”

My fingers fumble and claw at his waist band impatiently. “Josh…” I breathe, moving a hand to his hair, both pulling at it and holding him to my chest in a needy contradiction. He pulls away a little with a grin for half a second. Then his lips meet my chest once more, trailing fleeting kisses in a path from my chest, up my along neck and to my lips. His hands help me this time and he hooks his thumb under the band of my shorts and panties. Quickly, I lift my hips from against him so he can slide them down my legs. He lifts from the couch and I waste no time in pulling his from him, his erection springing free.

I wrap a hand around his cock at the same time his fingers trace my folds.

I gasp, my head dropping back.

“Jesus, Jen… shit, you’re wet…”

I meet his eyes with a steady stare, dipping my hand to meet his and coating it with my arousal. His Adam’s apple bobs in his throat thickly and I take him in my hand again, gripping firmly.

Now he gasps and I smile at how I can have that effect on him, starting a steady rhythm with my hand.

His fingers dip inside me while I pump him in my hand, our groans and breaths catching together and in our throats only driving the other on further. My hips buck with him, two fingers slipped inside me and pushing in and out in time with my hand running up and down his length, his thumb grazing my clitoris.

“Jo…Josh… now.”

I will my hips to stop and eventually they do. Taking his hand away and pulling my face to his, foreheads bumping, noses brushing and lips greedily seeking each other, I position him to me and sink down slowly, my moans caught with his tongue, our hips flush.

I lift my head from him, releasing his hair that I hadn’t remembered gripping. My hands find his shoulders and his fingers press into my hips as I lift from him, bobbing back down. I sigh, smile and do it again. And again…

His hands control me as I pick up the pace, riding on top of him, our names breathlessly filling the air if they even manage to make it past our lips, much less coherently. I cry out when he swirls a finger around my clitoris and pulls my breast briefly into his mouth. He pushes up into me and curses to the room loudly, and I make him curse with my name as I clench my walls around him.

“Urgh, I’m … clo-close!”

I bite my lip.

“Me too… Jen… me too, agh.” I feel his hips jutting erratically.

I tense around him as the ultimate wave of pleasure overwhelms me, my head falling forward, my teeth biting down on Josh’s shoulder, our sweat mixing. This seems to be it for him too and he pulses and spills himself inside me, with a final grunt. His arms wrap around me, holding us together tightly as we float away as one.

Our chests bump with each heavy breath we take and when I finally think I can move again, I pull back slightly, hands pulling gently at the hair on the nape of his neck, to look at him with a sated smile.

“I love you,” I breathe, reaching down to tenderly take his lips in mine again, my hands caressing either side of his slightly stubbled jaw.

“I love you, Jen. You’re my best friend too,” he smiles and I throw my head to his chest and wrap my arms around him as his envelop me back.

I married my best friend, who I can laugh with and at, who I can be a slob with and spend all day together doing absolutely nothing. Or not.

I fell in love with my best friend, my rock, my love who I can take shit from and give it out to, who I can rely on and stand beside and be me with. Who I can spend the rest of my life with… eating Lucky Charms at 2am, slightly drunk and happy and glad to be home with.

I fell in love and married… Josh.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING - I’D LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU (be that in a like, reblog or comment!) thanks again! :)

hey everyone! to celebrate 2016 finally coming to an end, I decided to whip together a reclist of my favorite Teen Wolf fics I read this year! this list is skewed towards femslash and rarepairs, because those are two of my favorite things! 

this list contains a total of 65 fics across 40 ships. if you enjoy any of the fics recced here, please let the authors know through commenting, kudosing, or reblogging! ao3 links have been provided where available, but many of these fics are available on tumblr as well. please read the warnings and tags on all works before reading!

so without further adieu, let’s get this party started!

allison/braeden/kira

double shot of what the heck by kirargent, 1778 words. Rated T.
A girl in New York Allison’s age had a freak accident in a power substation—should’ve been electrocuted; wasn’t. It took hardly any digging at all to uncover the fact that she’s the daughter of one Noshiko Yukimura, a woman who’s changed her name several times but whose face looks just the same as it did hundreds of years ago.

Perfect Presents by @fandom-madnessess, 1870 words. Rated G.
Kira had come up with the perfect Christmas gift for Allison, and the perfect way for her and Braeden to ask Allison out. Then, of course, her clumsiness ruins it.

allison/cora

just before sunrise by @derekslaura, 1226 words. Rated E.
Cora slips her fingers over the ripples in the sheets – one two three four, smooth waves – and tries to be patient with her brain as it processes the still-warm linen and empty space. She’s the only person in the bed. The dim glow falling at her feet is still soft, just before sunrise. A loud, seeking groan slips through her lips as she rolls into several feet of unoccupied bed.

features trans, ace spec Cora and aro spec Allison.

allison/cora/kira

and your knee socks by @sleepy-skittles, 17,274 words. Rated T. 
Allison Argent is a halfback playing for Seattle Reign, and despite having her professional life on track, preparing to represent the United States on the National Women’s Soccer Team, that’s the only place in her life she feels really satisfied. There’s pressure from her family, especially her mother, to always be Perfect, and she’s been burying the things she wants to try to get there. She might or might not be in love with her roommate and her teammate Kira, and Allison doesn’t even want to touch what’s going on with Cora Hale. When they all head to Canada for the Women’s World Cup, Allison’s finally forced to make an important choice, and to learn something important: that maybe, if she’s brave, she can have everything she wants, after all.

allison/isaac/scott

Heroes of My Heart by @fandom-madnessess, 3945 words. Rated T.
Allison, Scott and Isaac are a great team, at home and in the field. When Isaac gets badly hurt on their latest mission, Allison and Scott get him home as fast as they can, worrying about Isaac all the way. And Isaac, he’s got some worries of his own.

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Calling All Converts

To the best of my knowledge, there is no active blog for Jewish converts and conversion candidates on tumblr, so I decided to start one!

This is B’Nei Ruth, run by @anotheralexandros under a separate account. My goal is to provide a space for converts to ask questions, share their experiences, and swap resources.

In particular, I often found that resources for converts were just long lists of books or websites, which is helpful, but which can also be intimidating. Instead, I’m hoping to be able to provide accessible, in-depth responses that give personal opinions and recommendations. I won’t be able to cover all aspects of every question, but hey, that’s Judaism for you.

I am a cis white woman, living in the US, who converted Conservative, so there will be topics that are outside my purview. I will do my best to make this a safe space for converts of all denominations, backgrounds, genders, races, abilities, etc, so if there is something in particular you need, please ask me. There is another word about other contributors beneath the cut. Otherwise, I think that’s all for now.

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Maybe I'm gonna upset people with this one, but I have to say it...

I don’t get why anyone still believes Rucas is sailing any time in the near future. I honestly don’t.

They’ve broken up TWICE, technically. Lucas begged off the bf/gf label pretty much immediately, and then Riley broke off the unofficial thing (such as it was) for Maya.

Lucas is HIGH KEY constantly prioritizing and paying closer attention to Maya for the most part (which Riley eventually picks up on and since she’s the POV character, the audience should be picking up on it too), and Riley low key does the same thing with Farkle (my husband is convinced that Lucas picks up on this, but I’m skeptical on that one).

This isn’t just an issue of Lucas not liking Riley that way anymore (if he ever *really* did, which is honestly questionable considering his actual behavior over the course of the whole series; #spot the difference), it’s also an issue of RILEY not being as into Lucas as she thinks she is or other people say she is, Farkle (and Maya, prior to Yearbook) likely included in the latter.

Like, sure, Lucas looks at Riley with great fondness and affection. He adores her. I’d never claim otherwise. But how come (almost) nobody ever notes how similarly Lucas and Maya’s deep affection for Riley is shown on screen? More than once they’ve made the exact same “aw” face at her, they BOTH call her “sunshine,” I mean…do the math? And then add to that how different Farkle’s (or Charlie’s) affection for Riley is shown compared to Maya and Lucas…

And yeah, Lucas was confused and upset and hurt when Riley dumped him. Of course he was, especially with it happening in front of everyone like that, and her bizarre behavior afterward. I don’t doubt that he had himself pretty well convinced that he Liked her (although his behavior says otherwise). But notice how all that changes once he finds out Maya Likes him? Pay close attention to what’s happening with the “I can’t be your brother” bit. There is literally NOTHING in that scene to indicate that Lucas’s goal is to get back with Riley romantically unless you’re still stuck on the misdirection and you aren’t paying attention. Hell, he even waits a whole freaking day to bring it up after his conversation with Auggie. (But I’ve got a million posts about that.)

And again, I’m not saying people can’t or shouldn’t ship what they ship and have headcanons galore. I’d never try to STOP anyone from dreaming their dreams. But like…the show is the show. ALL of it matters, not just surface-level dialogue. I used to casually ship Rucas when I was just a casual viewer, but because my MO when it comes to fandom/shipping is picking the right horse, I was forced to change my mind after Texas and a bunch of rewatches.

I have never been so deceived by a TV show in my life (like I’ve said before I predicted the Breaking Bad finale almost perfectly), but I totally fell for the GMW misdirect and believed that a horse was a unicorn. So I’m not here to callously diss anyone who still hasn’t accepted that many of us were deceived, I’m not that mean (or I try not to be, anyway)…but I seriously don’t understand how anyone who’s rewatched the show more than once isn’t hip to the misdirection yet. It’s almost like…a religion.

The “stay in the Rucas bubble” stuff I keep seeing reminds me soooo much of how religious fundamentalists refuse to deal with anything that contradicts their worldview. I don’t understand it. I don’t understand how anyone can fail to look at a TV show objectively to the point of near-religious devotion to an obviously sinking ship. And I guess it’s considered fucked up to point out obvious canon to those people, so just as I do with my religious fundamentalist family members, I mostly leave those people to their bubble. Because fundamentalists cannot be reasoned with.

But sometimes somebody says something so…absurd and easily disputed or outright disproved by a HUGE BODY of canon evidence that I can’t help but try to point out what they’re missing in the bigger picture. Like how sometimes I actually confront my fundamentalist relatives…but usually live to regret it. Because you cannot reason with fundamentalists. It really is better to leave them to it, so that’s what I try to do for the most part even though sometimes I want to tear my hair out at the sheer degree to which some people cannot see the forest for the trees. It boggles my mind.

And I’m not saying this to be cruel…I just…I don’t really understand how people can be this way with fiction. I get it with religion because most humans really do have the need to answer the questions in our lives and about our existence with SOMETHING. But…fundamentalist devotion to a fictional ship when it’s so obviously sinking? I just don’t understand that, and I wish I could because maybe then I wouldn’t be so flabbergasted by it. I mean, if people were like “yeah it’s a sinking ship but I love it so I’m gonna headcanon and fanfic to my heart’s content,” I mean I GET that…even though it’s not my personal fandom style. I’d never try to take that away from anyone. But the true believer/“stay in the bubble” stuff? I just don’t understand. I guess I should stop trying to understand it and just accept it.

Maybe they’ll come back around and have Lucas and Riley together at the end of the series and I’ll be forced to jump ships again (I doubt it, but I never say die and it’s still too early to call endgame), but as for the near future? Rucas is a horse with a broken leg, romantically. Lucaya’s pawing the ground in the starting gate. And how ANYONE who’s been rewatching and taking in the series as a whole cannot see this…it’s just a huge mystery to me. I don’t understand it at all.

For the most part I don’t reblog or start debates with Rucas fundamentalists because there’s no point and I don’t like upsetting people—unless they come straight for me personally in which case I might still drag them. Sometimes I do reblog them though, and I’m left reeling by the sheer degree of self-inflicted denial.

Ultimately, I just…I wish I could understand it. It boggles my mind. I had an easier time ignoring it before the butchering of S&S began over in that part of the fandom—I REALLY love that book (I’ve read it at least ten times and watched movie versions even more than that), so I think I took it a bit personally when people just…misrepresented S&S so badly and that’s why it’s bugging me so much more now than it did before.

I just don’t understand, and I wish I could.

Anyway…that’s all I’ll say about this now and forever, from now on, as much as my self control allows. I just had to get it off my chest.

Sorry if I’ve offended anyone. But I just…I just don’t get it. And if someone could kindly explain it to me, I’d be ever so gratified.

Masterlist of Lyrics for Inspiration

Below the cut are #70 lines/lyrics from Beartooth’s album, Disgusting. These can be used as para titles, character lyrics, or any number of other things. They are organized by track. Feel free to like/reblog if you found these helpful.

*My favorites will be bolded!

**TRIGGER WARNING: Some lyrics below the cut have references to abuse, depression, alcoholism, suicide, etc.

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anonymous asked:

Listen, I don't really care about your blog. I have learned to respect your theories and ignore the ones I don't agree with and move on with my life. And while I know you didn't attack her, writing condescending essays on rileyandpluto post just...

always spreading love and kindness. So back off next time. If you see a post that you don’t agree with, you don’t actually have to respond you know? Specially trying to push your opinion and ideas on everybody…We all see and perceive things differently Its about time you learn that. We don’t want nor need your opinion on something we consider silly. If you don’t, then that’s great. Good for you.

But really its stressing hearing you replied with long essays posts that didn’t have the same mindset as yours.

=====

Well, rileyandpluto and I talked in private last night and found some common ground, I think, so I’m not going to get into that too much. I will say that crapping on people for harmlessly theorizing about costuming choices just because those theories don’t support your ship is the very opposite of “spreading love and kindness.” However, that said, she IS very sweet one-on-one and she helped me understand some things about emotion-based shippers. I’m very grateful to her for that.

But on a more general note: I am sooo sick and tired of people (or people who associate with the people) who constantly attack/mock me in reblogs on my own posts (or in nasty passive aggressive posts that show up in the tags, or via anon hate) lecturing me about how *I* should be treating people. Maybe that’s not you, anon, but let’s not pretend that there isn’t quite a bit of overlap between people who fling shit at me and people who clutch their pearls and act like martyrs when I snap and fling it right back.

Y'all may not realize this: but I get 5-10 hate anons per DAY, to say nothing of twice-weekly (sometimes even more often!) bratty reblog parties where 20+ Rilucas shippers hop on a relatively easy-to-comprehend post and act like its the most confusing thing in the world 🙄…and I almost NEVER post complaints about any of it. It happens to me literally EVERY DAY. I’ve never painted myself as some poor attacked martyr, I never sit here crying about how people “won’t let me have my opinion,” and, considering the sheer volume of bile leveled at me for daring to suggest that Girl Meets World is something really special in terms of writing and production, I rarely lose my temper. Why? Because the Internet has always been a place where people will call you a meth head hoe with a cobwebby vagina for no good reason at all, and there’s no sense in letting that tear me apart emotionally. (I’m not even exaggerating by the way, my hate anons are INSANE and that’s just a little taste of one from this week 😂).

Even though I can let most of the personal attacks on me roll off my back, it drives me absolutely mad to see people denying the intentionality of things like costuming, props, blocking, and BMW callbacks. We can debate (or quietly agree to disagree) on the MEANING behind costuming choices, etc all day, but claiming that those choices aren’t INTENTIONAL and meant to highlight the narrative in SOME way or another to begin with (even if it’s just a color palette to set the mood of a scene) is colossally ignorant and it denigrates the skill and hard work of the crew. And as for BMW callbacks, need I repeat what Jacobs said about them yet again, or nah?

I never set out to get 5,000+ followers. I just wanted to blog about a little show that made my brain crumble when I realized how clever it was. And for that, I’ve been attacked and dragged and shat on for months on end, mostly by people with hurt shipper feelings. Those attacks began pretty much the instant I started posting, well before anybody could point to my ever “going after” anyone. This is one of the ONLY times I’ve ever posted about that stuff, because I’d prefer focus my blog on talking about the show rather than whining about how nasty people are to me literally every goddamn day. I realized life was tough and got a helmet for that kind of thing a LONG time ago.

But…

When I see people claiming that the work of the crew on GMW isn’t intentional—especially when I see them doing that in order to piss on people over a relationship between PEOPLE WHO DO NOT ACTUALLY EXIST—I pretty much can’t help but say something.

Yeah, I can mostly ignore my daily digest of anon hate and the twice-weekly bratty reblog pile-on, but the minute I see someone saying “COSTUMING MEANS NOTHING! SLOPPY JOE IS NOTHING (even though it’s a blatant BMW callback)! NONE OF THIS STUFF MATTERS AT ALL STOP TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT DIALOGUE IS ALL THAT MATTERS! blah blah blah,“ I start seeing red and I can’t help but reply, because that level of ignorance in anyone over the age of fifteen or so is just plain SAD.

Often this results in people telling me I made them feel “like shit.” And look, obviously I don’t want people to go into a depressive spiral over stuff like this, but if you essentially deny that costuming, set dressing, etc is a skill and you claim that the work of the people who do it is meaningless all because of a “ship war” you SHOULD feel bad. You should feel bad because you are crapping on trained skilled professionals in service of quasireligious devotion to a relationship between people who DO NOT ACTUALLY EXIST. Think about how screwy that is. Suggesting that trained professionals’ work means nothing because it might not support the fictional relationship between NONEXISTENT PEOPLE that you’ve grown attached to is just…I shouldn’t have to explain how screwy that is.

And let me be VERY clear: I’m not saying you have to hop in line and agree with my interpretation of that intentionality like a lemming. If you hate Lucaya you could say, for example, “Well, I think they’ve got Lucas dressed in Maya motifs in Ski Lodge 1 to show us that Maya IS an important part of his life even though he’s in love with Riley and will be making that clear in Ski Lodge 2.” I personally think that interpretation is nutso, but since it acknowledges the basic INTENTIONALITY of costuming choices, I’d most likely ignore it (or blow off steam on my own blog) rather than start a reblog debate over it.

It is not “my opinion” that costuming on television is intentional and used to highlight the narrative. It is not a “matter of perception” whether or not these choices are made with some kind of intention (even if it’s just a mood/tone thing). It is a COLD HARD FACT that THEY ARE. It is not “my opinion” that BMW callbacks on GMW are clues to what’s going to happen, that’s been confirmed by Michael Jacobs himself in very clear language. It is not “my opinion” that visuals and blocking on television are intentional and used to help tell the story, it is a COLD HARD FACT. It is not “silly” to say, “Well, this was clearly intentional, so why did they make the choice to do it this way? Well, I think…”

But it IS silly to act like TV just happens, that wardrobe just slaps these kids into whatever outfits are clean that day, or that set designers just throw whatever up on the walls, or that actors just stand/walk wherever feels good in the moment, or that cameramen/women just point their lenses wherever and hope for the best all because acknowledging the INTENTIONALITY of television production might threaten one’s quasireligious devotion to believing two NONEXISTENT people are in love.

For people to put words in the executive producer’s mouth claiming that he told a live audience that costuming isn’t relevant to the relationships between the characters (when he said NOTHING of the kind and that claim directly contradicts the whole prism costuming thing in Belief which was CONFIRMED to the public at large via Twitter) all because they’d like to be able to dismiss any visual cue that might threaten their “ship faith” is just…it’s plain ignorant. I’m sorry, but it is.

If you don’t agree with my theories as to WHY a particular costume might have been chosen, that’s fine and dandy. Whatever. We can have a debate about it or just plain agree to disagree and not talk about it at all. But to take it a step further and deny that there is ever any intentionality in the first place with regards to characters’ relationships (romantic or not) when it comes to costuming or whathaveyou in a visual medium is just too damn much.

“Shipping” shouldn’t drive you to ignorance of the creativity and effort that goes into the production side of things…and frankly, it’s about time people learned that.

harry-trumans-dishwasher  asked:

Here's a tricky one: "Diplomacy - What player style do you have most trouble GMing for?"

My answer to this one comes with some base assumptions, as I believe breaking players into types can be a bit problematic, especially so when communicating my subjective experience online to an audience who may have very different definitions and opinions on whether such labels are meaningful.

So to help out, I did a google search for “D&D player types” and will be using the very first reference for player types I found: HERE.

Going by that reference, I’ll post my answer, the definition provided on the page linked above for easy reference, and my personal (and wholly subjective) reasons below.

Power Gamer

A power gamer thrives on gaining levels and loves the cool abilities that come with those levels. He defeats monsters to take their stuff and use that stuff against future enemies. The story and roleplaying are secondary to action and awesome abilities and magic items. Most players have a little power gamer in them. A couple of the core elements of fun in the D&D game are the accumulation of power and the use of that power to accomplish astonishing deeds. Nothing is wrong with enjoying that in the game.

A power gamer…

Optimizes character attributes for combat performance.

Pores over supplements for better character options.

Spends less time on story and roleplaying elements.

Prefers combat to other kinds of encounters.

Here are the reasons why I chose this play style - note that they are as open to interpretation and disagreement as the definitions of the player types, as I noted above:

  • My players level very slowly. This is a conscious decision. We’ve been playing since 2007 and the highest level character is level 11. The character started at level 1 in 2007. A power gamer may likely feel lacking in their favorite reward in my games.
  • Rewards tend to come in the form of new allies, development of relations with other characters, and answering questions rather than a lot of powerful items or wealth. A power gamer would likely deem these to be of lesser value and feel “cheated” of suitable reward.
  • Power gamers have more often provided me with weaker character backgrounds and profiles - sometimes they’re even nonsensical as a player might have chosen things that quite explicitly contradict one another and their writing shows they just penciled it in for the mechanical “numbers” benefits they provide. As such, I have to work a little harder to get their character injected into the background plots. When I don’t, I get told I’m playing favorite to the other types of players. When I do, the power gamer tends not to notice or care about it, so the effort is largely wasted. It’s Lose/Lose.
  • Only half (at most) of my encounters are solved (in the “optimal” way) via straight-up combat. This means that a player who has focused their character around combat may feel there’s less they can do to contribute. Strangely enough, in my experience the less combat-focused players never voice concern when their noncombat-oriented characters contribute far less during a fight. So my experience alone has shown me that power gamers tend to demand the spotlight more vocally and aggressively than other types. I like to keep all players happy, so catering to this can be a bother.
  • I get the most enjoyment out of roleplaying and collaborating with the players on the “story” of the game. So, given the definition states that this player doesn’t care for that as much as other types, then this is often a case of a DM-Player mismatch. It’s like one guy wants to play hockey and the other wants to play basketball, but they both get stuck playing tennis so neither is really enjoying it.
  • My current players feel the same way. So the group tends to be happier when it’s composed of similarly-minded players. I’ve been in groups where the DM just welcomed a mishmash of the types and.. well… Let’s just say less than 50% of the game time was spent actually playing the game. I’m not saying this would be the case for all, but it has been the norm I’ve observed. A dozen times. 

So that’s the very basic and shortened version of my answer. But be careful with trying to “type” players. Very few people can be summed up in one of those boxes, and in fact most players probably blend in all or most of those to one degree or another.

The truth is though, none of those types are bad. It’s really just a case of making sure the right players are brought together with the right DM.

If everyone is having fun, you’re doing it right.

So how do you all feel? What’s your answer to the question, or thoughts on my response? I’d love to read about them in any reblogs!


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