if you made this please tell me and i will credit you

The Emoji fucking Movie

Well I saw it. I wish I could say it was everything I expected it to be but it was worse. To summarize everything in one fluent and well-arranged thesis is too daunting a task because there’s simply too much to say about this blaspheme and so little time to properly convey it all. so here’s the main points on everything you need to know about this film

-i thought the Wreck It Ralph comparisons were bad enough but we find out Jailbreak was formerly a princess emoji but she rejected her status in favor of something more spunky and rebellious like holy shit they’re just unabashed in ripping off the beats of a superior movie.
-Sony hates millenials despite the fact that this movie was tailor-made to pander to them in the worst ways possible. Case in point, at one point the main human contemplates texting his crush and his frind tells him to only use emojis before saying in the most dude-bro way “words aren’t COOL”  at one point the teacher is talking about hieroglyphs and has to liken them to “the original emojis” because the students don’t want to learn any other way! they’re too obsessed with their phones! they have no attention spans! get it? GET IT?
-ADDING ONTO THAT! what is the message of this film? it doesn’t have one! there’s a scene where we see the main human deleted an email of lyrics/poetry he wrote for his crush but he deleted it because as his friends say WORDS AREN’T COOL. and you think “oh. the message will be that teens need to actually talk to each other more and express their feelings whatever” but oh no no no this is THE EMOJI MOVIE we’re talking about and the climax of the film is resolved by Gene (the main emoji) using his multiple faces to make the first emoji composed of multiple feelings back to back and gets sent to the crush who says “wow! I loved your emoji! it’s so nice to see a guy who’s willing to express his feelings” WHAT THE HELL? SO YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE FUN OF YOUTH FOR USING EMOJIS BUT ULTIMATELY EMOJIS SAVE THE DAY?
-ALSO THE HUMAN IS A FUCKING NERD WHO DECIDES TO TAKE HIS PHONE TO THE TECH STORE TO DELETE EVERYTHING JUST BECAUSE ONE EMOJI DOESN’T WORK
-There’s a stupid subplot about Gene’s meh parents having a falling out but it’s okay because they reconcile inside Instagram by hijacking a romantic photo and using the right filter
-TJ Miller touted the film as having a feminist positive message and let me tell you this is what it is. In Candy Crush, Gene finished one of Jailbreak’s sentences when she has an idea and out of nowhere Jailbreak yells “MEN ARE ALWAYS GETTING CREDIT FOR WOMEN’S IDEAS AND I’M SICK OF IT!” it comes immediately and ends abruptly. Gene doesn’t respond to it and Jailbreak doesn’t build onto that. the subject ends there. 10 minutes later Jailbreak says out of nowhere that in the early days emoji women only had the choice to be “princesses or brides” but that in the cloud she can be whatever she wants to be. again, this is never brought further or built upon. it feels so tacked on and barely even surface level like fuck they patted themselves on the back for this progressive-ass movie
-speaking of progressive, an internet troll calls the Just Dance lady a g***y. so yeah, add a slur usage to the list of offenses
-they go to Dropbox? Becuase kids love using Dropbox????
-Gene creates a new dance. The Emoji Bop. yes there is a dance party ending. 
-Someone tells Poop that he’s going soft. Patrick Stewart had to say the following line. “Not too soft, I hope” 
-Jailbreak in her princess form whistles and summons a twitter bird
-they go into youtube which has viral videos that are in live action and it’s super disorienting
-because this is a Sony movie, everyone uses Sony smart phones
-the 15 year old human has one of those fake-out apps that looks like a dictionary to his parents but it’s meant to hide like porn and illegal downloads so yeah fun for the whole family 
-if there’s one and I mean ONE good thing about the film it’s short. like barely 70 minutes. and yet that still feels like too long

The Emoji Movie is what you get when you have too much money. and nothing else. wait for a camrip online before watching it ironically. please please do not give this money. please. please. please please pleaskd qn

What we really need is an adaptation of the original 1740 The Beauty and the Beast

So were you aware that the The Beauty and the Beast story we all know is a heavily abridged and rewritten version of a much longer novella by Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve?  And that a lot of the plot holes existing in the current versions exist because the 1756 rewrite cut out the second half of the novella, which consisted entirely of the elaborate backstory that explains all the weird shit that happened before?  And that the elaborate backstory is presented in a way that’s kind of boring because the novel had only just been invented in 1740 and no one knew how they worked yet, but contains a bazillion awesome ideas that beg for a modern retelling?  And that you are probably not aware that the modern world needs this story like air but the modern world absolutely needs this story like air?  Allow me to explain:

The totally awesome elaborate backstory that explains Beauty and the Beast

  • Once upon a time there was a king, a queen, and their only son
  • But while the prince was still in his infancy, in a neat reversal of how these fairy tales usually go, the king tragically died, leaving his wife to act as Regent until their son reaches maturity
  • Unfortunately, the rulers of all the lands surrounding them go, “Hmm, the kingdom is ruled by a woman now, it must be weak, time for an invasion!”
  • And the Queen goes, “Well, if I let some general fight all these battles for me, he’ll totally amass enough fame and power to make a bid for the throne; if I want to protect my son’s crown, I have no choice but to take up arms and lead the troops myself!
  • (Btw, I want to stress that this woman is not Eowyn or Boudica and nothing in the way her story is presented suggests that she had any interest martial exploits before or in any way came to enjoy them during these battles.  This is a perfectly ordinary court lady who would much rather be embroidering altar covers for the royal chapel and playing with her child until necessity made her go, “Oh no, this sucks, I guess I have to become a Warrior Queen now” and she just happened to kick ass at it anyway.)
  • And the Queen totally kicked ass, but the whole “twice as good for half the credit” thing meant that no matter how many battles she won, potential enemies refused to take her and her army seriously until she had defeated them so no sooner would she fend off one invasion than another one would pop up on a different border.
  • So she spent the majority of her young son’s life away from the castle leading armies, but it was OK because she left him in the care of her two best friends, who just happen to be fairies!  This was an awesome idea because a) fairies have magic, and therefore are like the best people to protect the prince from any threats and b) fairies consider themselves to be so above humanity that the lowest fairy outranks the highest mortal, so they’d have no interest in taking a human throne.  Good thing they were both good fairies instead of one good and one evil one!
  • (Spoiler:  they were not both good fairies.)
  • So the two fairies basically take turns raising the prince until he’s old enough to rule.  And on the eve of his twenty-first birthday, the evil older one comes into the prince’s bedroom.
  • “So listen, kid.  You’re about to become king, your mother’s on her way home from the war to see you crowned, and I have a third piece of good news for you!  You see, I’ve actually been spending so much time here lately because Fairyland’s become a bit too hot to hold me for reasons totally not related to me being secretly evil.  And if I have to hang in the human world, I might as well reside in the upper echelons of it, so even though as a powerful fairy I completely eclipse your puny human status in a staggeringly unimaginable way, since you’re about to be king and since my premonition that I should stick this whole guardianship thing out because you would be hot one day has totally proved accurate (go me), I will graciously lower myself to allowing you to marry me.  Please feel free to grovel at my feet in gratitude.  (Btw, we can totally start the wedding night now, we’ll tell your mother about it when she arrives tomorrow.)”

Keep reading

Ways to Love Yourself

1. Know yourself
You cannot love someone you don’t even know.

2. Accept that you have strengths and weaknesses. You have skills and problems.
Do a SWOT Analysis (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, threats) of yourself if you want but remember, opportunities and threats are external. You don’t have control over them. But you can use your strengths and improve on your weaknesses, both of which are internal, to handle the external.

3. Disliking certain things about yourself is normal. That gives room for improvement. Improve. Don’t be lazy and choose the path of self loathing.

4. Forgive yourself
Understand that making mistakes is the way to grow. If you hadn’t fallen on your bum a couple hundred times you would have never learned to walk. If as a baby after one fall, after one mistake of breaking something, you would have decided to just sit in the corner and never try again, you would still be sitting there with the broken pieces. Don’t do that. Learn from your toddler self. Get up. And the only way you can do that is by forgiving yourself.

5. Accept that as of now you do not love yourself.
Lying to yourself won’t eventually lead you to believe it as the truth. Lying to someone you love is not a way to love them.

6. Disregard what others say about you. So much of the good and bad they tell you really has more to do with themselves; their mindset and mood, their motives and interest. Don’t let people fill in blanks for you. That won’t lead to a happy ending, it won’t lead to a story you can call your own.

7. Be patient with yourself, be kind. Being hard on yourself is a really stupid thing to do. It isn’t productive, it isn’t one bit effective and it is completely unnecessary.

8. Discard the idea that you are breakable. Reject the concept that someone can leave you broken. They can hurt you, yes and they can cause you an immense amount of pain but they cannot break you. You aren’t made of glass. Give your cells a little more credit. Give your heart a little more of it too.

9. When you realize that the grass is greener on the other side, don’t draw up plans to ruin that grass or come up with a way where you can camp on it and abandon your own grass. Instead, take a trip to the shop to buy some fertilizer and tend to your own grass. Upskill yourself constantly.

10. Learn new things. Invest time and energy in things that interest you.You didn’t learn to play piano in school but always wished to? Who said there is an age limit. In most cases the saying, ‘it is never too late’ stands absolutely true.

11. Look yourself in the mirror. You can admire or just observe. Look into your eyes. Look at your reflection. Just look. Have a see in what’s inside. Don’t look away. Have the courage to see the truth.

12. Spend time with yourself. Buy yourself flowers if flowers are what you love. Don’t wait to meet the right person to do the things you always wanted to. Go star gazing, skinny dipping. Solo travel. Do whatever you want to and can. Write your future/past self a letter. Cook yourself a meal. Buy yourself some ice cream. Click goofy selfies.

13. Learn to accept compliments. Be graceful. All you have to do is say ‘thank you’. And please don’t feel the immediate need of returning the compliment. You don’t always have to give when you get. Especially when you don’t really have anything to give. A ‘thank you’ and a smile are more than enough.

14. Learn to be okay in silence. The voices in your head? They terrorize you, I know. But trust me, they go away. They go away if you face them. There are no demons in your head. These are just echoes of your fears and insecurities. Listen to them. Breathe deep. Know that they are weak. Face them head on. And then ask them to leave.

15. Accept your body. However it is or it isn’t. It has accepted you in every possible way. Accept it and see how it accepts you even more. Accepting doesn’t mean not changing something that you can in a healthy way. It only means that your love is unconditional. Your love is whole. And that is the only way to love yourself. Wholly.

—  creatingnikki 
Mischaracterization of Characters in Haikyuu

Don’t read this if you are not going to have an open mind about it. [Edited]


I am honestly sick and tired of characters being misrepresented here in the Haikyuu fandom. I’m not talking about minor headcanons etc, I’m talking about how more than half of the fandom have been mischaracterizing and diluting characters personalities, twisting them into something that is no way near their original intended character. Quite personally, this is probably one of the worst things you can do. So, right here, right now. I am going to go in depth of some of the most mischaracterized characters in Haikyuu based on my personal opinion. 

This is in no way to hate on any of them, I love every single person in the anime, each for their own individual attributes that make them unique, here, I am merely stating blatant facts based of the manga and anime. So if you like this sort of thing, sit back and grab some motherfucking popcorn cause this is going to be a long-fucking rant.


- Oikawa -

Listen here. Oikawa is not a whiny crybaby who cries all the fucking time, he is probably the most mischaracterized character in the entire fandom. He’s a strong guy who is dedicated to the thing he loves and ensures his teammates can play to the best of their ability. I get that all of us one way or another have an inner sadist in ourselves that makes up enjoy watching our favourite characters suffer psychologically or physically. But when people perceive, write, draw Oikawa as a boy who cries over the smallest of thing, whines, and overall is a weak little shit, it gets very annoying and frustrating. You are diluting his character seriously, tarnishing his real personality and character. And because of that half of the fandom sees him as this weak dude who breaks down and cries over the tiniest and most minuscule of things?

Look at him, does this look like the face of someone who cries all the fucking time? 

Let me say, Oikawa is bloody capable of destroying someone if he wishes. His serves are fucking powerful, and even Ushijima, one of the top spikers in the Miyagi prefecture, acknowledges that. So why do people characterize him as a selfish whiny asshole. You know very well this little ball of terror cares deeply for his teammates, not a self-centred asshole who asks Iwaizumi to bang his ass all the time. Also, why to some people whore him out? He isn’t that type of guy. Although I get that in various different contexts, the situation depends. But just so you know, canon Oikawa is very well a man of pride, I admit, he does whine, but to the extent of using emotional pity to get what he wants is just so out of character

I love Oikawa, probably as much as I love Iwa [IHajime is my favourite character in the series, if you did not know.] , that’s why it’s sad to see that he has been “re-written” by fans as this weak-ass teenager with nothing better to do than tear up all the goddamn time. Really, Oikawa is fucking strong as hell and though he may have a few insecurities, he will crush his opponents with his abilities and strengths. Not fucking whining. 

Even his teammates respect him and put all their trust and faith into this beauty of a captain, they know he can do shit to annoy them, but they acknowledge his true strength and believe in him no matter how dire the situation. He is Seijou’s captain, heartthrob of many high schools, and one of the most respected Setters. So for fuck’s sake, stop diluting his character more than people have already have.

- Iwaizumi -

I wouldn’t go as far to say Iwa’s is as bad as Oikawa’s, however, since he is my favourite character, and I may have a biased opinion towards this, I would like to say some things as to how he has been in some instances misrepresented in the fandom.

Stop mischaracterizing him as this big old brute who does nothing but threaten to hit Oikawa all the time, I mean, sure, he does that, but we all know it’s out of concern. As a personal writer of fanfiction, I often use this to express his concern towards his friend, not a threat, so why are there actually people who see him as abusive? It’s clear this is his way of caring for Oikawa and ensuring he doesn’t hurt himself or overexert his knee in practice. His aggression is just his own way of saying “I care for you so don’t do anything stupid”, also, I’m not very sure why people would think Iwaizumi is the emotionally “Stronger” one between him and Oikawa. If you need a refresher, Iwa isn’t able to keep in his emotions as well as Oikawa, seeing as the very person who told Oikawa the team with the better six is stronger, questioned his self-worth and position as ace because he couldn’t help his team win. In my unpopular personal view on this, Hajime may be more emotional than people make him out to be.

Another thing that genuinely upsets me is that this baby is as strong as Ushijima but doesn’t get the recognition he deserves? Like, give him some credit, his spikes based off official statistics state that it’s a 5/5, just like Ushijima. So can we please do what we can to spread that Iwaizumi is not just the other half to Oikawa and a person by himself as well? You shouldn’t only love him because he makes up the one of the halves to your OTP, you should also love him for the very fact that this baby loves Godzilla, is a huge dork, is a great Senpai, multi-athletic, and most importantly, the ace of Aoba Jousai, a powerhouse school. Give him as much love as you give everyone else. Okay? okay.

Now, moving on to the fandom aspect, may we please have more Oikawa taking care of Iwa? Just have more fanfiction or fanart with Oikawa reassuring he is enough? We have a rather huge amount of fan-related contributions with Oikawa as the person being constantly assured that he is enough and he tried his best. But may I please see more contributions with Iwaizumi being comforted that he is enough, and that he shouldn’t question his role as ace? I don’t know man, but I think Iwa needs that, he has to learn to recognise his own strengths.

- Tsukishima -

Tsukki is not only a salty french fry who looks down on everyone besides Yamaguchi. Tsukki is one of those characters with the best character development. I agree, he can be a dick, but he doesn’t doubt his teammates capabilities. For example, he may find Hinata annoying at first, however, he acknowledges that Hinata has too surprised him with his drive and determination to rise to the top, making him want to be in some way the “moon” that supports the “sun”.

Let me be in honest here. Before I finished watching Haikyuu, all I saw in Tsukki was an unmotivated dick, but after learning how the person he looked up to, in this in case Akiteru, lied to him and made his idea of “working hard to get you anywhere” fall apart, I realised that after knowing this, his character and personality made so much more sense. This boy went from someone who only saw “Volleyball” as a club activity to something he could actually put effort into. That’s right, he tries. This boy does tries. Shocking I know.

- Yachi -

Yachi is not just a girl who gets in the way of your ships. She is so much more than that. She, despite having a very obvious fear of confronting people she is not comfortable with still tries her very best to do what she can for the Karasuno boys. Don’t forget, this little sweetheart is the girl who helped come up with the poster for the team. She put in a lot of effort into that, so I think it would be nice to give her credit where it’s due even if you might not like her.

I personally feel that Yachi has undergone a lot of character development, she went from this fearful girl to someone worthy of being the next manager of Karasuno. She does her best to pick up what she can from Kiyoko so she can be as good of a manager in the future, if not better. So please stop hating on this cinnamon roll just because she might get in the way of you ships. She has done nothing wrong and I don’t feel she deserves hate in anyway, unless you can validify your point and give me good evidence as to why she is to be hated, this treatment towards her is completely unnecessary.

- Kiyoko -

Kiyoko is the classic case of fans over-sexualising her in fanart or in fan-related contributions. This beautiful lady is not just a woman with a big bust and no brains. Mind you, Kiyoko was an ex-athlete. She could whoop your puny ass in running if you try and I highly doubt you’d win. She was the great heroine who brought Hinata’s bag on her two feet excuse yourself. So please don’t paint her as this lady who all guys fawn over just because she is pretty, she has a personality and life too. See past that superficial layer and grow up.

Look at her, look how sweet she is. It is clear she is a little shy at times, yet she, like Yachi, do their best to express their support towards the boys. I think girls in Sports anime tend to receive more hate than usual, mainly with the idea they are a hindrance to your gay OTPs, hey you, what makes you think that? Can’t a girl be a nice to guy platonically? Even if they in fact to get together with someone who is partially but of you OTP, just congratulate them and move on for fuck’s sake. Stop sparking up unnecessary drama when you lack maturity to comprehend that they can do whatever the hell they want. If you are genuinely upset, just write fanfiction to feed your guilty pleasures, no need to hate on anybody.

Look at what a good senpai she is.

- Yamaguchi -

Okay, listen here you little shits. If you hate on this little precious smol cinnamon roll I will rip your throat out and shove it up your ass. Do not tell me that Yamaguchi is just this weak little boy who doesn’t deserve to be on the Karasuno team. Do not tell me that this boy doesn’t try to do his best just so he can play alongside his friends, because more than anyone among the first years, Yama tries the hardest. He finds someone who can teach him a jump float serve so he can prove to be a valuable player and not just a good ol’ bench-warmer. And you can see even if he might not be perfect, this little bean tries so fucking hard to have something he can contribute to the team’s success.

I don’t care if you don’t ship Tsukkiyama or not, honestly, I don’t give two shits about what you ship. But if you hate on him just because you ship some other ship, you are fucked up. What on earth did he do? He’s the best friend of Tsukishima, yes, I perosnally ship them both romantically and just as friends because I do have multiple ships alongside rare-pairs, but why hate on him? Boy, why hate on anybody? Can’t everyone accept that all characters have their on individual strengths, weaknesses, character, personalities? Seeing your NOTPs isn’t a valid excuse to create hateblogs or hateposts against other characters, that is just childish and immature.

- Sugawara -

Suga is not some weak-ass bitch who depends on Daichi for everything JesusFuckADuck. Stop drawing him as this overly-feminine character when his build is not that far off from Daichi’s. Note, I am not saying being feminine is bad, it’s good, definitely, however going as far as to make Sugawara a guy with almost no trace of masculinity left is a little odd. If that’s what you want, go ahead. Just stop portraying him as someone who can’t even defend hiself lmao, Suga will and can whoop anyone’s ass, do you not remember how painful his jabs can be? Even Daichi and Asahi fear him.

Look at him. He can be intimidating, an angel and a devil. He’s Karasuno’s mom alright, but he is a strong independent mother who will and can be strict if he wants to. He was Karasuno’s setter before Kageyama if you don’t remember, he is intelligent, smart and selfless enough to be willing to sacrifice his opportunity to play on the court, because he knows Kageyama taking his place was the best shot to give the team a chance at winning. Yeah well sorry if you’re butthurt if I said that, I just had to remind you guys, seems like some people forgot.

- Kuroo -

[ Contributed by @mayphenix and edited by me. Check them out. ]

Kuroo isn’t a sex god, he’s a dork who likes having fun, teasing his kouhais but knows when he goes over the top and apologizes [Like he does to Sawamura when he thinks he’s hurt Tsukki]. He loves science and is overall a huge little science nerd, currently attending college prep class as one of the top student’s in Nekoma. He’s very well capable of recognizing his opponents’ abilities and strengths, coming up with more than decent strategies to overcome them and pulverising them.

Yes, he is sexy but that’s not a reason to only see him as that. What about his passion and love for volleyball? It’s the guy who learned volleyball by watching on people play it on televsion [Which is pretty close to Volleyball genius Kageyama learning by watching Oikawa] and he’s fucking brilliant at volleyball but he doesn’t let it go over his head. He’s modest and he’s helpful towards his own school kouhais, but also players on other teams, just because he’s just that nice. He just wants to play volleyball and help his coach’s dream to be fulfilled; the Battle of the Trash Dump, live on the national stage. He is such a good person but he’s viewed as this mischievous, mocking and sometimes cunning guy when really he’s got his heart on his sleeve and helps out whenever he can.

- Bokuto -

[ Also contributed by @mayphenix​ and edited by me. Check them out. ]

Bokuto isn’t a fool who is self-centered and moody. Yes he acts like a dork, yes he is moody occasionally. But what matters most is that he has the capacity to pick himself and act like a proper Captain and Ace. [Not that we’ve seen it happen yet, they stated it may be a biased opinion since Bokuto is their favourite character. But I completley agree with them, Please note all this was in their perspective and I am merely adding it onto this master post.] They doubt Fukurodani chose him as Captain simply because he’s the most powerful player and has Akaashi to keep him in check.

In the manga and anime, they say that the rest of the team pulls him forward, and Akaashi says that a strong opponent doesn’t phase him, I believe we’ll see him being the one pulling Fukurodani forward when they need him the most. He takes a lot of pride in being the Ace of a powerhouse school and among the top 5 spikers in the Miyagi prefecture, but like Kuroo, he doesn’t let it get into his head. He also helps out younger players who aren’t even on his team, showing how much of a good senpai he can be. He’s pretty quick to figure out someone’s behaviour or character, since he figures out Tsukki’s personality very quickly. And in the last few chapters we’ve seen him analyze tactics and plays. One does not simply become among the top 5 spikers just because they’ve got big arms and power: They need to be clever enough to think of patterns and attacks and act accordingly to the given situation. He’s not only an owl-obssessed idiot. He’s not a burden and he leads his team proudly. He’s not just moody, he’s just free to be who he wants to be thanks to the trust his teammates have in him.

- Ushijima -

Okay, I want this post to be honest and true, so let’s make it clear. I did not like Ushijima at all in the beginning, not one bit. Which was immaturity on my part because I didn’t see his full story, I saw him as this pushy emotionless guy who had issues with Oikawa not going to Shiratorizawa. But boy, was I wrong. Ushijima is a giant softie at heart who just has trouble expressing his emotions normally, when he does do it, it may not come out the way he had intended it to be. And as a person who has trouble controlling their emotions, I relate to him a lot. Let’s not forget that Ushijima was a single child who was shunned by some people in his family for being left-handed, one of his relatives even suggested trying to correct it though we all know that is not the way to go.

The following is extracted from the Haikyuu wiki. “Ushijima doesn’t speak often, but when he does he bluntly says what’s on his mind and usually comes off as tactless. He will apologize if he realizes that he has insulted someone, but he won’t change his viewpoint.This boy is not some prick who doesn’t apologise alright? He is not a cold-ass villian with no tact, he is just not very emotionally connected our capable. As @manga-trashcan-pen​ has pointed out, Ushijima was an isolated child. Meaning he did not experience much social interaction which should have helped build his character and social sensitivity. He is a human with just as much emotions as anybody, for god’s sake this big bean’s favourite food is rice.

He is a captain who has faith in his team’s ability, he believes that only the strongest could have got onto his team and thus he makes sure to bring out the best in everyone.

- Tendou -

Tendo is a very sad character I would say. Not only was he bullied and ostracized in school, he was not liked by some of his peers even in the later part of his life, even though he is a very respectable and skilled middle blocker. Not only does he have the talent and skill to deduce an opponents moves, he has the physical capacity to actually do what is necessary to prevent it. It makes me a little sad that there are people who actually hate him, cause I absolutely love him and think he deserves so much more recognition.

Let’s back up a little and delve into his past. We know that this little red floof was bullied for looking like a “monster”, but when he moved on to highschool however, we can see so much more of his character as it’s obvious he feels more accepted in the academy. And though he may be at times a little annoying, he is still a little sinnamon roll, just like how he knew not to push on with Ushijima when the latter spoke about his family. This boy does have tact and knows when it’s enough to stop probing. He is not a over-enthusiastic dick who annoys everyone he sees alright? This boy who had no friends went on to befriend one of the most notable spikers in the prefecture. Even going as far as to call Ushijima his best friend.

Never forget what he said when they lost the match against Karasuno. He lost one of the only things that made him feel accepted and if that doesn’t break your heart then go get one.


Since I realised I left out some other really major characters, I have added on. And mostly because you guys like me venting??

This was with the help of other Tumblr users who have helped contributed to this post, I merely did a sum up. Credits and thanks to the following users for adding their share and pointing out other very mischaracterized characters, @mayphenix​ , @gayerthanchanel​ , @dragonarmada​ , @manga-trashcan-pen​ , and KingofhellLordofTime from my instagram.

In the edit, I covered other characters I have failed to mention earlier or who were not brought to my intention

Well, That’s it. That’s the end of this rant. Have a nice day.


Your Ascendant: Expression in Poetry

Felt like I should be writing today, partly because I was inspired and because it’s cathartic. Hope you all enjoy! 

Aries AC:   

a million and one sunsets cannot match the beauty of your smile // red lipstick smears on your coffee cup // and he says “care to come home with me?”

Taurus AC: 

sitting by the fireside with your oversized sweater, tired eyes // flawless without even having to try // please don’t break my heart tonight.

Gemini AC:

whispers turn into giggles, giggles into laughter // acting strange for strangers // drunk on the moonlight and maybe a beer.

Cancer AC:

you’re diving into the deep end, yet again // the craters in the crescent moon start to look like swimming pools // but dear, there are no ladders up in space.

Leo AC:

a conversation with the mirror turns into dancing in your lingerie // whiskey on the breath & a french manicure // that hair flip says: “don’t tempt me with a good time.” 

Virgo AC:

perfection leads to madness, but isn’t madness genius? // that’s what they call you, glasses and all // with a heart made of crystal that’s chipped from the world’s fist.

Libra AC:

lollipops and gumdrops, cough syrup in your cup // sickly sweet like strawberry taffy, drink it up // make a funny face and wish the next girl good luck.

Scorpio AC:

smoking outside of the city lines // the sky is red and you feel so alive // you don’t need a lighter, your penetrating gaze is the flame.

Sagittarius AC:

you’ll be the first to fly, so tell me what it’s like // riding on an elephant’s back, kissing another stranger goodnight // in the back of his car, another anatomy lesson.

Capricorn AC:

throw another pebble into the ocean and it splashes like a stone // you put on a brave face so nobody knows // won’t you stop eating yourself alive?

Aquarius AC:

your mind is like a never-ending movie, so don’t wait for those credits to roll // lucy told me that you two have met, you’re one in the same // her watercolor pictures wouldn’t let you catch your breath. 

Pisces AC:

step into the flowerchild’s garden or better yet, let’s step into her head // licorice dreams melt into cotton candy scenes // use a seashell as a cellphone & hear her voice.

-Admin L

Nerds 1.0 || Peter Parker AU

Prompt - AU where Peter is a high school AP Physics teacher and Y/N is the Anatomy teacher and all their students ship them but they’re too awkward to notice the other one crushing on them, so the students take it into their own hands.

Warning - some vulgar language. extreme cuteness. teen!Avengers  :)))

A/N: btw the narration in this fic might seem a little salty, but that’s only cause I’m really salty right now about some stuff. 

not my gifs

Originally posted by arachnidiot

“Can you overgrown children give me like five minutes of peace?” She tells her overbearing students, they groan. 

“But mom!” Her most annoying student shouted, she rolls her eyes at the boy. Her students had made a habit of calling her mom and it was by far very annoying. 

“Tony, you call me mom one more damn time-”

“Ooh! She said damn, that’s a bad word!” Another one of her troublemaking students shouted from the back of the class. 

“If it’s a bad word, then why would you say it, Barnes?” She retorted, the boy deflated and sat back down. His boyfriend, Steve, laughing and trying to comfort him as his classmates laughed. 

“You guys are high school seniors. I did not sign up to be a teacher to babysit a bunch of five year olds,” she complained, everyone in the class knew she was joking. She was just as rowdy and annoying as they were, it’s why this particular class was her favorite. 

“Come on, Ms. Y/L/N, you know you love us,” Natasha, a troublemaking redhead sitting with her feet up on the desk, said with a barely noticeable smirk on her face. 

“No you’re wrong. You’re all terrible and I hate you,” Y/N lied as she took a sip from her cup of coffee that sat on top of a pile of papers. 

“YOU LOVE US!” Screamed Tony and Clint at the same time, jumping up from their seats and running up to her desk to hug her. 

She couldn’t hide her smile then. Sure they were all extremely annoying and loud, but then again so was she.  

“Actually no. You know who she does love?” Natasha starts, a smirk rising on her face. 

The whole class quiets for a few seconds before they all yell out. 

“MR. PARKER!” 

A red blush rises on Y/N’s cheeks at the mention of the AP Physics and Calculus teacher, Peter Parker. She tried to deny it every single time, but her students knew better. 

“Oh come on guys, not this again!” She whines, and throws her head in an exaggerated exasperated groan. 

Ever since Peter had been hired as the new Physics teacher, the students almost immediately began ‘shipping’ them together. The two of them had became close friends in the blink of an eye seeing as they were both huge science nerds, their students saw this. Continuously teasing the both of them about their crushes. Both of them trying their best to deny, but neither of them could lie well enough to a bunch of teenagers who knew and understood the signs of a crush. 

 “We will bring this up as many times as we can until you guys realize that there’s some major amor going on,” Sam says from the far right row of the class, chewing on his mechanical pencil as he not so discreetly tried to finish his Spanish homework before the bell rang. 

The class agreed with him. 

“Alright fine, we’ll play it like that. How about I bring up the topic of your grades?” She laughs as the majority of the class starts to beg her not to continue.

“That’s what I thought!” She shouts, laughing loudly at the defeated faces of her students.

For the remainder of the class they reviewed the cardiovascular system for the test they were going to have next class. 

The bell rings and the bustling students jumped around in excitement for lunch, “Bye Ms. Y/L/N!” they all shouted. 

“Get out! Go to lunch!” She jokingly yells, they laugh and push each other out of the classroom. 

Y/N smiles to herself and begins to grade papers from another class. 

“Ms. Y/L/N?” She hears a voice say, she looks up and turns her head to see the only freshman student in her class full of seniors. 

“Wanda, what are you still doing here? You should be at lunch,” she says in a concerned tone. 

“I know but I have a test in European History that I have to study for, and I wanted to ask something of you,” she explains. 

“Oh that’s right, I forgot, you have all senior classes. What can I help you with?” 

“Could I get some extra credit or something to raise up my grade? I have a college interview in a few days and they’ll be looking at my grades,” the girl asks, clutching her history textbook in her hands. 

“Wanda, you already have an A in this class…” 

“Yeah, I know but it’s a 99% because of that B that I got on the quiz about the systemic and pulmonary circuits, I was distracted that day,” she wasn’t directly saying it but she was begging for another chance, and Y/N didn’t need any more pressing from her pleading student. 

“Do you want to retake the quiz? I doubt you’ll get another B,” she offers, Wanda’s eyes light up. 

“Yes please!” Y/N chuckles at the young girl's’ enthusiasm and rummages through some folders for an empty sheet of the specific quiz. 

She finds it and hands it to Wanda who hurriedly grabs it and sits at the nearest desk. Wanda finishes the quiz in minutes before finally scribbling her name and class period on top. Y/N grades her paper in front of her, and to no one’s surprise, she got a perfect 100. 

“Oh my god, what a surprise…” Y/N mumbles, Wanda giggles to herself. 

The door opens and the two women turn to look at the door. 

There Mr. Parker stood at the doorway holding a bag of food that smelled strongly of New York takeout, he saw Wanda standing in front of Y/N’s desk and blushed. 

“Should I come back or…?” He trails off. 

“No need Mr. Parker, I was just leaving. Thanks Ms. Y/L/N!” Wanda says as she begins to walk to the door. 

Peter walks into the room and sets the food down on the desk. Y/N looks behind Peter to see Wanda giving her an enthusiastic thumbs up, then pointing at both Y/N and Peter and making a heart with her fingers. Y/N got up and removed her sneaker before chucking it at the girl, Wanda dodged it and quickly left the class. 

Her unmistakable laughter bouncing off the walls of the hallway. 

Y/N sat back down to see Peter looking at her weirdly. “What was that about?” He asked opening the container of takeout food, Y/N blushed immensely. 

“Oh, nothing.”

Wanda runs into the lunchroom in search of her friends, the seniors. 

They sat in their usual table, eating away at the chicken wings that were being served today. 

“Guys! Guys!” She shouts as she nears the table, they turn their heads to look at their freshman friend. 

“What’s up?”

“Ms. Y/L/N and Mr. Parker are in her class right now eating lunch together! He bought her food!” She yells excitedly, the table gasps. 

“Seriously?!” Natasha exclaims. 

“Dead serious.”

“We’re gonna go spy on them, right?” Clint asks, licking the ketchup off his fingers and wiping his hands on his pants. 

“Hell yeah.”

They all snuck out of the lunchroom without getting caught and made their way to Ms. Y/L/N’s classroom. The door had a little rectangular window for them to see through, it wasn’t big enough for all of them but luckily Clint had special access to the school’s air ducts. 

Especially the one in Ms. Y/LN’s classroom. 

He unlocked his phone and FaceTimed Natasha and pointed the camera at the future couple. Outside of the classroom, the group crowded around Natasha and her phone. They all quieted down and watched the two awkwardest and nerdiest people in the world attempt to have a conversation without mentioning science and or Star Wars. 

Both of them failing miserably. 

They had somehow gotten into an incredibly deep conversation about Star Wars conspiracy theories. 

“Oh my god, these fucking nerds!” Tony whispers, the rest of the group agrees. 

“We gotta do something or they’re gonna spiral into a never ending conversation about Darth motherfucking Vader,” Steve says, Bucky nods agreeing with his hunky beefcake. 

“Yeah, someone text Barnes and tell him to do something about this…whatever this is,” Bucky says waving his hand for emphasis.

Tony quickly pulls out his phone, his thumbs running over the screen in a blur. A few seconds later, his eyes read a message on the screen. 

“He wrote, ‘On it ;)’.”

They all began to silently think of what Clint had in store for their two favorite teachers. 

In the air duct, Clint quietly pulled two small rocks from his pocket. He had been planning on throwing them at some kid who messed with him earlier but this was more important. 

The air duct he was hiding in was directly above Y/N’s desk but both her and Peter were facing away from him so this was the perfect opportunity. 

“So I wanted to ask you something and excuse me if it makes you uncomfortable, but…do your students say anything about us…you know– uh, liking each other?” Peter asks, Y/N almost chokes on her teriyaki chicken but hides it with a strong cough. 

“Ehh sometimes, why do you ask?” She lies straight through her teeth and hides her blush by looking down at her lap. 

“Well, because-uh they’re always telling me that you…have a crush on me, and that apparently it’s pretty obvious…” 

Her hands were now numb and she wanted to disintegrate into thin air. 

No shit, you fucking idiot,’ she thought. 

“Uhh well, I-I wouldn’t say obvious b-but, I mean-” she couldn’t think of anything to say and now she really wanted to die. 

Clint couldn’t watch his favorite teacher suffer anymore so he slowly and quietly opens the air duct by removing the detachable air grille. 

He throws the first rock at the door, the two teachers turn to the door thinking that someone had knocked. Y/N stands up to open the door, she looks through the little window but when she sees no one she turns back. 

Then, Clint throws the second rock right into Peter’s shirt causing him to stand up and spill chicken fried rice covered in soy sauce all down Y/N’s t-shirt. 

“Oh shit, fuck! I’m sorry!” He exclaimed trying to apologize. 

He grabbed a few napkins and tried to wipe off the soy sauce stains but only making it worse.

“No, i-it’s fine it-” 

“I’m so sorry, I-I didn’t mean-”

Both were too flustered to let one another finish their sentence. By now Peter wasn’t wiping anything except for her chest, it took a few seconds for both of them to notice exactly what he was touching. 

The blushing idiots finally decided to pull away from each other, and chuckle nervously at their current situation. 

“Come on, come on.” Natasha mumbles under her breath as her and the group continue to watch from her phone. 

Y/N and Peter were now pretending that the whole thing didn’t happen but the stain on Y/N’s light gray shirt said otherwise. Finally, the two of them mustered up enough confidence to actually say something intelligent. 

“Would you like to go out sometime?” They asked simultaneously. 

They both chuckle nervously, “I know it’s not the best time to ask, but…I-I’ve been meaning to ask you for a while and I just didn’t know if you…”

She smiles, “Well I do, and I’d love to go out with you.”

At that moment, the group started cheering completely forgetting that the hallway echoed. 

“Yes OTP!” Sam shouts, almost immediately slapping his hand over his mouth. 

“What the hell?” Y/N mumbles and walks over to the door, seeing their teachers walk toward them the entire group got up and hauled ass back to the lunchroom, the sound of shoes squeaking and stomping on the floor along with the loud swears coming from the teenagers themselves could be heard from inside the classroom. 

Clint watching them run on his phone cursed out loud, “Shit!” he said, his eyes widened. 

Both Peter and Y/N turned to the vent, “Wha-Clint!” Y/N yelled when she realized what was happening. 

There was no point in being quiet now, Clint shimmied down the vent before his teacher crawled in after him. 

Peter and Y/N stood there helpless. 

“I’m gonna kill them.”

“Meddling kids.”

Originally posted by daftprodigy

BONUS:

The next day when the matchmakers walked into Calculus, a class that Peter taught, they all sat next to each other. Being the only people in the school that knew that the two teachers that everyone has been shipping were finally together had its advantages. They’ve been trading test answers for gossip all morning. 

The school was bustling with the news. 

Y/N Y/L/N and Peter Parker were finally together. 

Even Principal Fury and Assistant Principal Hill were excited about it. 

When Peter sees them sitting innocently in their seats, he turns to them. 

“I don’t know whether to say thank you or goodbye, she was pretty angry.”

“Ah, she’ll get over it once you give her that good nerd loving,” Sam jokes, Peter blushes and a tries to hide a very noticeable smile.

“Ew dude, that’s our mom you’re talking about,” Tony says.

Clint perks up.

“Speaking of mom, we’re not calling you dad.”

.

.

.

A/N: I had way too much fun with this. This was mostly about the teen!Avengers, but honestly I live for that AU. 

• MESSAGE ME IF YOU WANT A PART TWO

i keep seeing posts on here about how uma and harry aren’t relevant because harry flirts with everyone and while i’ve seen a couple posts defending them as a ship…. i just wanna tell you why you’re wrong… with gif evidence. sit back, y’all.

as i said before, the first “evidence” is that harry flirts with everyone but the problem is that y’all are confusing his tantalizing tactics with “flirting” because of thomas’ natural sex appeal. don’t believe me? here’s some examples of harry looking at various characters that aren’t uma.

let’s start with mal because people mainly use this one from what i’ve seen. and while the chemistry is there between them, i think that’s fair to say that its because DOVE AND THOMAS ARE A COUPLE and very obviously had something there during filming.

here we have harry right before telling mal that he could hurt her… a tantalizing tactic because he wants to KILL her:

and here we have his reaction after it didn’t quite go as planned where he genuinely looks annoyed as hell:

and since i know someone will bring up him blowing a kiss to mal… that’s after successfully pissing her and the rest of the vks off… like come ON. he had a successful reaction to his tantalizing yet AGAIN.

and after mal, you’ve got jay and ben.. which, okay. in theory they could be nice ships, but i also need you to think about the fact that he’s literally tantalizing them in every scene he shares with them. when harry is seen with ben he either is torturing him on the plank, fighting him on the ship, or ‘goochie goochie goo’ing him before uma steps in to intervene.. plus the whole “how’s it feel to be a king now” bit where he’s trying to get a reaction from him. and as for jay… again, you only see them fighting on the ship and then the scene in the alley where he’s LITERALLY trying to piss jay off. that’s what he wants. here’s some gif evidence of both:

tantalizing:

and after having a satisfying reaction:

tantalizing:

and after successfully pissing jay off:

now… *inhales deeply* his reactions with uma. let’s get to the good shit.


when we first see uma and harry, they’re in the chip shop and the first thing that happens is her bringing the plate of food and slamming it down… and that’s where he goes to eat and she pushes his arm up and allows her to do as she pleases without becoming angry. whereas when mal touched him in the hair salon, he had a fit of rage and knocked everything off the counter. carrying on from that same scene, he watches as uma becomes angry and yells at the tv and decides to join in right after her even though no one else does until they’re instructed to.

and then again we have the moment a few moments later when uma is talking about how mal betrayed them and… i’m sorry…. his lip biting, y’all.

then we have some scenes that weren’t in the movie, but were in the music video in which harry…. who is insanely protective of his hook, allows uma to use it. check this out.

now there’s about a million other scenes, so i’m not gonna describe every single one of them, but i’m gonna say this and then leave you with the rest of the evidence i’ve got at hand.

uma tells him to do something and he does it without hesitation. he doesn’t second guess her, he doesn’t ask why.. he just acts. apart from the times he made the comment about “never being allowed to have any fun” and then the “you said i could hook him” but i don’t see that as an argument. she puts him in his place and he ALLOWS her to. uma was also the only character in the movie who could calm harry down or stop him from his crazy ass outbursts. the scene in the chip shop where gil called uma shrimpy and uma put her hand on harry’s arm as if to tell him that it’s fine? iconic. AS SEEN HERE:

“harry. we get it. chill.” iconic. “give it a rest, harry! give it rest!” ICONIC.

carrying on.

(peep that grin after she shoves him)

this post has become incredibly long and if you’ve made it this far… congratulations, but HARRY AND UMA ARE IMPORTANT AND RELEVANT AND I WON’T HEAR ANYMORE ABOUT IT.

oh, and also. don’t even get me started on how he takes his hat off, kneels to be eye to eye, and then says her name with the utmost respect and adoration. if you didn’t ship them after this then… who even are you?

gif credits: (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

Lets talk Dany’s sexual encounters.

Khal Drogo. The discomfort Dany felt. She had to get assistance from her lady-friend just to ease into comfort. I have no idea why this was a “dream” couple for some people when he was into so much sadistic behavior. He raped her twice. I mean, the seducing sex scene screams “I have to fuck my husband so that he doesn’t defile me like he’s done twice.”


Daario. My God, the cringe.



She had no urgency to take off her own clothes based off what they showed us on-screen? They fucked but it wasn’t a “I’m stripping off your clothes because I want to fuck you so bad” type of thing. Dany sits there and drinks wine while a guy she’s supposedly supposed to be “interested” in is naked for her. And even when his clothes are removed, she seems disinterested. Almost as if she’s fucking him out of boredom. Look!


“Eh. I guess i’ll get some dick since it’s here.”


The guy even asks her to marry him while they’re having sex and she says no! If the sex was out of this world, it should’ve made you consider it in the act at least. He couldn’t even use his dick to persuade her. I’m crying.


And then there’s Jon.


Jon has pretty much swept her off of her feet since the day he told her that he shall do as he pleases. A guy who she does not have any control over. (It was the same with Drogo, which is one of the factors that made me think drew Dany closer to him.) I mean look at this look she gives him when he says, “I don’t need your permission. I am a king.”

⠀⠀⠀⠀ Admiration.

Jon leaves her speechless the second he knocks on her door.

The first time she didn’t have sex out of force.


Or out of boredom.


Or because she felt as if she owed it to a man who cut two heads off for her.


The first time she’s has sex where she didn’t talk. Daario was fucking her and she talked about war during the entire encounter. For Drogo, she had to tell him that she wanted to see his eyes in order for the sex to not be rough.


But with Jon…

Sometimes, silence speaks volumes.

Let Me Help

Spencer Reid x Reader (smut)

Requested: Yes. Anon: hey! I really love your blog and I was wondering if you could do a reid x reader where the reader has a wet dream about Spencer and she finally tells him about her dream after he asks her what’s wrong and it ends in smut?? thank you so much

Word Count: 3,589, Warnings: Swearing, NSFW, Oral Sex.

A/N: Oh my God okay so I went a little crazy on this one and it’s a full fledged long fic. I was writing this and I actually needed to take a break my palms were sweating because Reid is so fucking hot. Anyway, I hope you like it! Please let me know if you want a Part 2 ;)

- M xo

(Gif not mine, credit to owner)

Originally posted by hisirishsoufflegirl

Sprawled out on your bed, your naked form was being admired and touched by a handsome man. He glided his fingers up and down the sides of your thighs as he placed sensual kisses on your stomach. “God, you’re so beautiful.”, whispered Spencer. 

Wait what? Spencer? Hold on. Did you just have a wet dream about your nerdy co-worker?

You woke up in your bed covered in sweat as you tried to calm down your flustered state as you panted heavily trying to vaguely recollect the memories of the dream you had just had. It wasn’t a bad dream, in fact, it was amazing. You squeezed your thighs together in hopes of some sort of relief, but all you could do was think about the dream, which made your state even worse.

You sat there in silence as you tried to comprehend what had just happened. You’d been working at the BAU for 4 years now and you had never thought of Spencer that way. Sure he was tall, had gorgeous chiselled cheekbones and never failed to amaze you with his intelligent brain. Oh, God. Here you were thinking inappropriately about your co-worker at 3 in the morning when you had to be in for work at 7. There was no way you were going to act normal in front of him after this strange yet intoxicating image of you and Spencer practically having sex ingrained in your brain. All you could do was try to get back to sleep and hope that the flush would be over in the morning.

Keep reading

Step it Up

Requests: “You are one of the only blogs that write quality Barry Allen smut, so thank you. Can you please write a Barry smut where he always is gentle with the reader because he doesn’t want to lose control with his powers. One night she confronts him and a night of vibrating hands and speedy enhancements occur? Thank you 💕” Credits to gif owners!

It was the same thing every time. Slow thrust, kiss, whisper your love for each other and then hand holding. You loved every second of that. Barry told you every single hour that he loved you. And all he did was make love to you, nice and slow, where you could be close to each other and rest your foreheads together. You loved Barry with all your heart but slow just didn’t cut it for you anymore.

The first time you confronted Barry about it, he reasoned with you, sped up a little bit and you made a really strange noise (indicating you loved it) and he figured he hurt you by accident because he was too fast. If Barry even thought about thoroughly fucking you, he would start to vibrate. But he’d never touch you when he did, his excitement about his fantasy would scare him into thinking he would lose control.

Keep reading

Nursey is so wrapped up in saying goodbye to the graduating seniors that he doesn’t notice Dex and Bitty disappear until Chowder pokes him in his ribs with a grin. “You’re gonna pretend to be surprised, right?”

Nursey is already surprised, and confused, but doesn’t say so.

When they get back to the Haus half an hour later, taking the long route at Chowder’s insistence, everything looks the same as it always does. That is until Nursey makes his way up to Lardo’s old room, determined to figure out what he’s apparently supposed to already suspect.

“Shit,” Dex curses when he spots him. “Uh, hey? Fuck. I mean. What’s up, Nurse?”

Nursey blinks several times in quick succession, but the image of Dex in the middle of hanging custom bookshelves on the back wall of their soon-to-be-shared-bedroom while surrounded by at least five of Nursey’s favorite baked goods doesn’t go away. “…I literally don’t even know where to start, bro.”

Dex’s head drops down with a beleaguered groan. There’s a number two pencil stuck behind one ear and a hammer hanging from one of his belt loops. It’s a good look on him.

“Not that I’m complaining,” Nursey adds.

“You weren’t supposed to know I installed this,” Dex mutters, eyes trained on the floor.

“And the pies?”

“That was mostly Bitty. I only made one of them.“ Dex shrugs a shoulder stiffly. "Well. One and a half.”

“And did you make me shelves too?”

Keep reading

Angst/Fluff Prompt List Part 2

The first one was a big hit, so I hope you’re ready for a second one! These can work with ANY fandom! Reblog if you wish! (Please give credit, to where credit is due <3)!


  1. “I need you.”
  2. “You’re family.”
  3. “I care about you.”
  4. “Can I join you.”
  5. “You made your choice.”
  6. “This isn’t fair!”
  7. “How could you do this?”
  8. “Do you hate me?”
  9. “I could never leave you behind.”
  10. “Come with me.”
  11. “That’s sweet.”
  12. “You look great.”
  13. “Where are you going?”
  14. “That’s new.”
  15. “Let me help you.”
  16. “Drop the attitude.”
  17. “Are you okay?”
  18. “I’ve got you.”
  19. “I’m worried about you.”
  20. “You don’t seem like yourself tonight.”
  21. “Do you like it?”
  22. “You smell nice.”
  23. “They didn’t deserve you.”
  24. “I trust you, do you trust me?”
  25. “Karma is a bitch.”
  26. “What the hell?”
  27. “Son of a bitch.”
  28. “I hope your day gets better.”
  29. “I’m here if you need to talk.”
  30. “Are you listening to me?”
  31. “Sorry.”
  32. “Why are you doing this?”
  33. “Why are you acting like this?”
  34. “How do I look?”
  35. “Damned if I do, damned if I don’t.”
  36. “What is this about?”
  37. “You look like hell.”
  38. “I haven’t seen you in a few days.”
  39. “It’s good to see you.”
  40. “You know, you can stay if you want to.”
  41. “I’m not pissed, I’m hurt.”
  42. “Truth hurts, doesn’t it?”
  43. “I almost feel bad for you.”
  44. “What you did was stupid.”
  45. “No.  You listen to me.”
  46. “It doesn’t matter.”
  47. “I know you’re scared.”
  48. “You’re a terrible liar.”
  49. “You’re not helping.”
  50. “It’s not safe here.”
  51. “You should leave.”
  52. “Everything is fine.”
  53. “I’ll keep you safe.”
  54. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”
  55. “Just go away.”
  56. “You don’t have to act like you’re okay.”
  57. “I’m only here to help.”
  58. “Don’t mind if I do.”
  59. “Don’t you think you’ve done enough?”
  60. “Thanks for nothing.”
  61. “I’m done.”
  62. “You think that this is easy for me?”
  63. “I hate seeing you like this.”
  64. “You make me so mad.”
  65. “I brought you dinner.”
  66. “Say what?”
  67. “You’ll be fine.”
  68. “You’ve got me on your side.”
  69. “I don’t like you…. I love you.”
  70. “I don’t want you… I need you.”
  71. “What are you doing here?”
  72. “It’s okay to cry.”
  73. “I can tell you’re lying.”
  74. “You’re in danger.”
  75. “You deserve better.”
  76. “You’ve changed.”
  77. “I think I’m in trouble.”
  78. “You always find a way to surprise me.”
  79. “You did what you had to do.”
  80. “You have no idea.”
  81. “Why am I not surprised?”
  82. “This is just great.”
  83. “You’re here late.”
  84. “What’s on your mind?”
  85. “I wanted to apologize.”
  86. “It’s just you and me.”
  87. “I’m just looking out for you.”
  88. “I never meant to fall in love with you, I just did.”
  89. “Calm down.”
  90. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
  91. “Oh come on.”
  92. “No one is perfect.”
  93. “You’ve been quiet.”
  94. “What did you just say?”
  95. “I’ll always be there for you.”
  96. “Fair enough.”
  97. “When you fall, I’ll always be right there to catch you.”
  98. “I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”
  99. “You’re not crazy.”
  100. “I’m not leaving.”
  101. “I hope you’re happy.”
  102. “You’re the only person I wanted to be with tonight.”
  103. “Don’t worry about it.”
  104. “I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
  105. “You’re not going anywhere.”
  106. “You believe me, don’t you?”
  107. “Regardless of what they think, I know you’re an amazing person.”
  108. “Shhh…  You need to be quiet.”
  109. “Fuck you!”
  110. “You don’t even know me.”
Wanna take over my wife's job after her maternity leave? get yourself pushed out of the company instead.

LTL, FTP. I have almost no direct involvement in this tale. I’m writing it on behalf of my wife.

Sorry for the wall of text… TL;DR at the bottom. This story happened (ended) two weeks ago.

Background:

We live in a country that needs a lot of improvement on laws, their application and enforcement…. we are a lot better than a few years back, but still sometimes people can get away with forging some types of documents, like medical records, education degrees etc. Also, english is not our main language, so job titles, degrees and other details are translated to their best equivalence.

According to our country’s labor laws:

  • All female employees are entitled to 3 months paid maternity leave.
  • Employers, at their own expense, are expected to cover for the employees on maternity leave, usually with temp workers.
  • Severance payments are mandatory when firing employees (without justified cause… crime, fraud, etc) with more than 3 months on their jobs, so that’s the time limit to be considered a temp employee.
  • Severance payment calculation is rather complicated, but for firing people employed 4 years or less, it usually boils down to about 4 months of salary.
  • To fire Pregnant women, employers have to pay them 6 months of salary on top of the severance payment they’re entitled to.
  • If an employee quits voluntarily, they effectively forfeit all benefits previously mentioned.

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Needs Of Approval

Pairing: Kol x Reader (Ft. Klaus & Elijah)

Warnings: A lot of gifs used (; And this is a bit long, so get cozy and enjoy!

Word Count: 2731

PART TWO 


Klaus was a good friend to your parents for years and years. When they died, you were just 12 years old. There was no one else to look after you, so Klaus took you in like the child he never had.

It has been 9 years that he’s been taking care of you and those 9 years hasn’t been easy. You were constantly moving from place to place, unable to call any place your home. Until finally, Klaus settled into a small town called ‘Mystic Falls’. Klaus did run into a few problems here and there with the Salvatore brothers, but he always kept you out of it. The last thing he wants is to see you hurt. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself.

Soon, he had a mansion built for you and his family to live in. You finally got to meet Rebekah and Elijah, who were nothing but kind to you, but you were wondering when you would ever meet Finn and Kol. Eventually, Rebekah ended up getting daggered again which did upset you because she was like a sister to you.

You never understood why Klaus had a thing for daggering his siblings. The last time you brought up that subject, he said that it’s complicated and to not ask again. And so you obeyed.

Right now, Klaus & Elijah are having dinner with the Salvatore brothers about this whole ‘Elena’ situation with Klaus’s hybrids. Of course, since Klaus wants to keep you out of his mess, he advised you to stay in your room and not get involved, no matter what kind of ruckus you hear.

You’re currently in your room, sitting comfortably under the covers on your bed reading a book. The walls weren’t so thick because you can hear mumbles of all of the men exchanging words. It made you feel better knowing that no one is fighting and no one is getting hurt.

Minutes go by and you could’ve sworn you heard Rebekah’s voice. You closed your book, setting it on the bed and slowly got out of bed, walking towards your door while you tried listening in more. And that’s when you also noticed some unfamiliar male voices and Klaus yelling in pain.

You know that Klaus doesn’t want you involved but you couldn’t help but rush to him in aid. You care for him so much that you’re even willing to let him feed on you a little if he really needed it. He took care of you and you saw it as your obligation to return the favor.

Reaching the bottom of the stairs, his screams stop and you hear Elijah calmly say, “this is family business.”

Entering the dining room where everyone is, the first thing you see is Klaus leaning over the table, waiting for the pain to pass.

“Family business? What family business?! What’s going on?!” You shouted.

Everyone turns around to look at you. You noticed that Stefan and Damon were gone and you see two men. They looked familiar but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it.

“Y/N please. Just go back to your room.” Klaus begged.

“No seriously, what are you guys doing to Nik. And who the hell are you two?” You scoffed at the two men.

Before they could get a word in, Elijah spoke. “My dear Y/N. This is Kol and Finn.” Elijah pointed at each one individually as he named them.

Your jaw dropped. You couldn’t believe it. I mean, what an awkward first way to meet them.

“Who might this be?” Finn asked.

“Yeah who the bloody hell are you? Nik’s girl?” Kol added, putting his hands on his hips. You glared at Kol’s remark, you never thought of Klaus in a romantic way. You always saw him as your guardian, your protector.

Elijah walked over to you. “It’s quite a long story. I assure you, I’ll explain it all to you later.” He put one hand on your back and the other leading to the stairs. “Come.”

Elijah took his time to tell you everything that was going on while Klaus and the rest of the siblings handled their issues. Eventually you understood that this family is flat out dysfunctional, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. You all even came to find out that their mother, Esther was alive as well. How odd.


Over this short amount of time, you didn’t exactly see Kol as a brother like you do, Elijah. You weirdly found him attractive, actually. You didn’t know if it was his looks or his wittiness, even though he is the wreck less Mikaelson sibling. Not knowing if he felt the same or not, you just kept it to yourself. 

Today is the Mikaelson Ball. Klaus was kind enough to lend you his credit card to buy yourself the proper attire for tonight. Rebekah even went with you to shop and even helped herself to her brother’s credit card as well.

Finally, after trying on over 10 dresses, you’ve found the perfect one. It was a backless sequin mermaid floor length dress. The best part is that it hugged your body perfectly.

And of course, since Klaus loves spoiling you, he also hired someone to style your hair and work on your makeup in your bedroom. You were just enjoying being pampered.

You were finished getting ready before any of the guests arrived, so you walked downstairs anyways to await their arrival. Walking downstairs, sliding your fingers on the railing, you saw the hired butlers getting champagne glasses filled. You even saw Kol helping himself to a glass. You tried your best to make sure you didn’t step on your dress as you were taking each step, by holding it up a few inches. With three steps left until you’ve reached the flat ground, there was Kol with his hand reaching out to you.  

At first, Kol only saw you as a mere roommate. But once he saw how stunning you looked in this very moment, it changed his entire perspective of you. He thought to himself how absolutely stunning you looked. His lips parted and he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. Now he felt like he just had to have you, even if he had to go through his brother Niklaus.

“I assumed you were in need of some assistance, Y/N.” Kol said to you.

You chuckled, grabbing onto his hand once you got closer. “Yeah I was struggling for a minute.” You let go of his hand once you reached the floor.

“So who might your escort be tonight?” Kol asked, then took a sip of his champagne, keeping his eyes on you, awaiting your answer.

“No one actually. Because no matter who it is, he’ll never be good enough for Klaus.”

“To hell with that bloody wanker.”

“Kol stop-” You shook your head, stifling a laugh.

“I’m only joking.” Kol put his hands up in defense. “See here, darling, I happen to not have a date as well. So do you mind?” He smiled at you.

“What?” You were shocked. Quickly, you snapped yourself out of it. “I mean, really?” Kol Mikaelson wants you as his date for the ball? This can’t be happening. You must be dreaming.

“You best hurry before I change my mind, Y/N.” He joked.

“Yes. Yes, I’ll be your…um…date?” You didn’t know to question it or word it as a statement because you just couldn’t believe it.

Kol grabbed your right hand, saying, “Marvelous.” Then he slowly planted a kiss on the back of your hand. Your cheeks blushed red as you heard footsteps approach down the hall.

It was Niklaus that was here to ruin the moment. Oh no. “What is this?” He asked, not looking too happy at all.

You just froze, surprisingly being able to get a word out. “Klaus, we-”

“Y/N is letting me escort her to the ball. Perhaps you don’t mind.” Kol smirked, confidently walking towards the original hybrid.

Klaus had his hands behind his back, clenching his jaw, then revealed his crooked smile. He didn’t want to cause a scene today. “Hm… I thought you would at least choose a man that is more suitable for you.” He looked at you, then put one arm out straight to point at Kol.

Kol just glared at his older brother.

“Well according to you, no man is suitable for me. And technically, you could’ve taken Kol’s place, you know. But you’re too infatuated with that bitch, Caroline.” You spat. You’ve never liked Caroline for Klaus. She was always so rude to him, yet he was head over heels for her. 

“Y/N, do not start with me.” Klaus growled. You know that your remark about Caroline would bother him and you didn’t care because he was being a hypocrite.

“Don’t judge me on my date and I won’t judge you on yours.” You crossed your arms in front of your chest, wearing a straight face.

Klaus fell silent. He narrowed his eyes at you, then gave Kol the death stare and stormed to another room in the house to let off some steam.

“Well then, this night is off to a fantastic start.” Kol joked, in an attempt to ease the tension.

“I mean, am I right or am I right?”

Kol nodded his head in agreement, then grabbed a glass of champagne for you to cheers with him.

Finally the guests started arriving. Every few minutes, more and more arrived. And almost all of them were wowed by how ginormous the mansion is and the choice of decor for the occasion. 

You stayed by Kol’s side while the both of you playfully voiced your opinions to each other about each guest that walked in. One of the things you do enjoy about Kol is that he doesn’t take everything seriously. He’s someone you can have fun with.

“Kol! Look Look!” You tapped him on the arm with your hand to look forward to get his attention because he got carried away on his smart phone. He was still getting the hang of using that device.

“Oooo who is it now?” He asked excitedly, putting his phone in his pocket.

“That’s that slut Elena and her Salvatore brothers. Klaus has told me all about her.” You said disgustingly.

“I bet they have threesomes. How fun.” Kol said, raising his brows up. 

You gagged, almost choking on your champagne.

“You alright there, darling?” Kol laughed, patting you on the back.

“Thank you. Thank you for that comment. I almost just died because of you.”

(Later…)

After sharing laughs and even more champagne, you decided to excuse yourself to the ladies room. “I’ll be back, Kol.”

“No matter.” Kol replied.

“Do you mind?” You asked, handing him your champagne glass to hold onto until you come back. He responded with a nod, then you went on your way.

Coming back from the loo, you didn’t see Kol in his original spot, you figured he’d be back, so you just hung around waiting for him to return. You observed all of the guests having a great time and even spotted Klaus with Caroline. He was just so mesmerized by her. Gross.

What you didn’t notice is that every now and then throughout the night, Klaus would look around to check up on you, making sure you’re not getting into any trouble with Kol. He despised that the one person you happened to allow to escort you is Kol. He knows the ins and outs of his little brother and doesn’t think his intentions for you are good.

“I see your escort is not by your side.” You hear from behind you, so you turn around to see that it’s Elijah, the oh so noble steed.

“Oh yeah. He’s probably grabbing a bite, if you know what I mean.” Blood from a human’s neck is exactly what you meant.

“Certainly. And might I add, I’ve noticed that the two of you have become quite friendly this evening.”

“I mean, if you say so Elijah.” You shrugged your shoulders at Elijah’s opinion. You wondered why it concerns him because Elijah is the least judgmental out of all of his brothers. Maybe he’s just making small talk? Who knows.

“Well, I-” Before Elijah could get a sentence out, Kol pops up and disrupts.

“Ah there you are, Y/N. Am I interrupting?” Kol said half-aloud with that accent of his that you just die for. Instead of finishing his sentence, Elijah just ended up excusing himself.

Not a moment too soon, you see Elijah making himself known at the top of stairs. “If anyone could gather, please.”

You and Kol were the first ones at the stairs. Elijah waited until the rest of his siblings followed. 

As you were minding your business watching everyone gather, out of nowhere Kol decides to snake his arm around your waist. It made your heart skip a beat and you surely hoped Kol didn’t hear it. You didn’t want him to know that he makes you nervous. 

As Klaus was excusing himself from being by Caroline’s side, he did see Kol getting too touchy for his own comfort. It did infuriate him, making him tempted to snap Kol’s neck right there on the spot. But, Klaus, and all the rest of his siblings, know how important this ball if to their mother, Esther. So, Klaus chose to let this one go.

You turned your head while your eyes were scanning around the room and the moment you saw Klaus, you quickly moved Kol’s arm away from your waist.

Once Klaus and Rebekah finally made their way to join the three of you at the top of the stairs, Elijah made his speech inviting all of the guests to join in on The Waltz. 

The guests followed to the ballroom, but you just stood in your spot, being left alone at the stairs. “Shit.” You said to yourself.

(Meanwhile…)

“You best mind your manners when it comes to Y/N. Do you comprehend?” Klaus growled at Kol as they were walking down the stairs.

“Don’t worry Nik, she’s safe with me.” Kol smiled and gave a wink.

Klaus wasn’t amused with his brother whatsoever, so he shot him a glare and stormed off to find Caroline.

Kol looked left and right after finally noticing that you’re nowhere near him. He looked behind him at the stairs and saw that you have a lost look on his face, so he rushed over to you.

“What’s the matter?” Kol asked, concerned that it was something serious.

“Um. This is embarrassing, but I don’t know how to Waltz or whatever. Nobody ever taught me.”

“Not to fret, darling. It’s easy. Just follow my lead.” Kol assured you, then picked up your hand, leaving a kiss on your knuckles. Of course, you blushed bright red at his gesture.


The night ended amazingly. When the night was coming to an end, you and all of The Mikaelsons stood around to thank every guest for coming. 

After all of the guests were finally gone, Klaus disappeared to his room to do god knows what. That’s when Kol decided to take advantage of the opportunity. You were about to leave to walk to your room, but Kol stopped you by lightly grabbing your wrist.

“Yes?” You were puzzled.

“I don’t mean to be a too much of a bother, but how about we pretend?” Kol flashed a grin.

“Pretend? Pretend what?” You chuckled at his suggestion. The word ‘pretend’ just brings you back to your childhood when you would use your wild imagination to ‘play pretend’.

“Seeing as we live under the same roof, allow me to walk you…to your bedroom.”

“This is really corny but okay.” As cheesy as you think this is, you can’t blame Kol because he was out of the loop for a hundred years. But, this gesture of his did make you feel some type of way.

Reaching your bedroom, the two of you were face to face under your door frame. “Have a lovely evening, Miss Y/L/N.” Instead of Kol kissing the back of your hand per usual, he left a gentle kiss on your forehead, then left elsewhere in the mansion.

This night ended up being better than you’ve ever anticipated. 

Hit the Books

Summary: jealousy is no one’s friend || prof!//college au

Pairing: professor stan & evans // evanstan x reader

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: flirting, sexual innuendos

A/N: uhhhh there might be a part 2? if y’all want it? let me know


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Maggie Stiefvater talks 'All the Crooked Saints,' and here's a first look at the cover

Maggie Stiefvater may have concluded the Raven Cycle just last year, but the author already has a new stand-alone YA novel hitting shelves later this year.

The book, titled All the Crooked Saints, takes place in the 1960s in Bicho Raro, Colorado and follows the lives of three members of the Soria family-each of whom is searching for their own miracle. There’s Beatriz, who appears to lack feelings but wants to study her mind; Daniel, the “Saint” of Bicho Raro, a miracle worker for everyone but himself; and Joaquin (a.k.a. Diablo Diablo), who runs a pirate radio station at night.

Adding to the mystery (and magic) of the book is the book’s intriguing cover-which EW is pleased to reveal exclusively below.

“There are owls in the book because owls are a very scientific creature that gets credited with a lot of magical superstitions,” Stiefvater tells EW. “There are roses in the book because roses are a very magical flower that take a lot of science to truly understand. Put that together and well - as the kids say, that’s it. That’s the book.”

With Stiefvater’s latest novel set to hit stores on Oct. 10, EW caught up with the bestselling author to find out more about what’s in store for readers, her process, and of course, her upcoming Ronan Lynch trilogy.

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: All three of your characters are looking for a miracle. What do miracles, or the idea of miracles mean to them?
MAGGIE STIEFVATER: Miracles! Miracles! Miracles! This book is full of them. I was taught by nuns for the first dozen years of my life, and so I was raised with a pantheon of peculiar saints: decapitated saints who carried their own severed head through the streets of cities, saints who exorcised demons from the bottoms of milk pails, saints who flew unexpectedly.

The Soria family are saints as well, and the miracle they perform for pilgrims to Bicho Raro is as strange as most miracles are: They can make the darkness inside you visible. Once the pilgrims see their inner darkness face to face, it’s up to them to perform another miracle on themselves: banishing the darkness for good. It can be a tricky business to vanquish your inner demons, even once you know what they are, but the Sorias are forbidden to help with this part. They’ve all been told that if a Soria interferes with the second miracle, it will bring out their own darkness, and a saint’s darkness, so the story goes, is a most potent and dangerous thing.

The three cousins in the story all have their own relationship with the family miracles: Daniel, the current acting Saint of Bicho Raro, wants to help the pilgrims overcome their darkness through holiness and empathy. Beatriz, on the other hand, would prefer if the Sorias approached the miracle from a more logical and scientific place. And Joaquin is less interested in miracles and more interested in broadcasting rock & roll from a pirate radio station in the back of a battered box truck.

How did you come up with the name “Bicho Raro”?
I’d just finished writing the rather heavy final installment of the Raven Cycle, and I thought it would be nice to switch things up with something playful and - dare I say it? “Feel good”? Does that sound like a Stiefvater novel to you?

So I tried to be as playful in my language as I could. I figured if my words were frolicking, readers might too. “Bicho raro” (“rare bug”) is just a little way to speak fondly about odd people, like “strange bird” or “odd duck.” It’s less about the Soria family themselves and more about the varied pilgrims who come to Bicho Raro.

What inspired the novel’s setting?
Three years ago, I convinced Scholastic that instead of flying to all of my tour events for Sinner, the companion book to the Shiver trilogy, I would instead drive my 1973 Camaro to them. Seven thousand miles, coast to coast, just an American girl in a muscle car, seeing the breadbasket of our fine country while hawking a novel about burned-out werewolves - nothing could go wrong.

Spoiler: Everything went wrong. I spent my time evenly divided between meeting readers and repairing the Camaro by the side of the road.

At one point, the brakes went out (for the second time), and I coasted into an auto repair shop in Del Norte, Colorado. The sun was white, the air was dust, and the mountains were sharp as hell all around. While I waited for the mechanic to take a look at my brake lines, the receptionist told me tall tales and ghost stories about straight-arrow desert roads and demons dancing in the dust and strangers appearing in the night.

I thought to myself: This is where my next novel takes place.

What made you decide to set All the Crooked Saints in the 60s? Is there something in the history of Colorado at that time that speaks to you?
Music! Music! Music! When I was growing up in the 80s, my father always had the radio set to the Golden Oldies - I didn’t realize, in fact, that it wasn’t contemporary music. I thought Del Shannon and Patsy Cline and the Byrds were everyone’s current groove. Even after I discovered differently, it didn’t matter; that music had become the sound of my childhood. There’s something about 60s music and the 60s in general that I think pairs perfectly with a novel about the teen experience - 60s America was going through an adolescence in a lot of ways, and it was a time of mystical joy, innocence lost, increasingly uncomfortable self-awareness of the limitations of tradition, and colorful agitation for change, all of it emotional and urgent. If that’s not a description of being a teen, I don’t know what is.

I’ve been dying to write a novel steeped with the music of that time for about five years now, and for this one, it made sense. I had an incredibly grand and self-indulgent time listening to the music Joaquin and Beatriz spin in their covert broadcasts.

Your work has always been infused with aspects of magical realism. What would you say are some of your influences?
Magic! Magic! Magic! For this book in particular, Isabel Allende, Gabriel Garca Mrquez, Erick Setiawan, Ali Shaw, and maybe even John Irving - I have read a lot of wonderful magic realism and wry, intimate family stories over the last decade, and Saints is my affectionate nod to them. It was also informed by movies, though - I really wanted to capture the mood of films like Big Fish, Chocolat, and Amlie. That whimsy and magic and nostalgia. These are strange, hard times that we’re living in, and I wanted to write about magic - I always do - but I also felt like I wanted to leave readers with something that made them happy, hopeful, and excited about all the odd miracles that exist in the world and in themselves.

Of course, I have to ask one question about the upcoming Ronan trilogy. Is there anything you could tease about it?
Insert, Stiefvater said, an enigmatic smile here.

All the Crooked Saints will be available for purchase on Oct. 10.

This article was originally published on ew.com

Night People

Prompt: “Can i request a smutty scenario with werewolf v in heat?”
Word Count: 5,160
Genre: Smut
Summary: Around this time of year, Taehyung always advises you to stay away from him, but there’s nothing you want more than to see what he’s like when he’s turned.
A/N: So this is a werewolf AU obviously, but I just wanted to mention that there are some “violent” parts when it gets smutty. Also I know it’s hella long and I’m sorry. Please go easy on my gentle soul.

Originally posted by jjks


3 Days

When it was around this time of year, Taehyung always said it was best to stay away from him. Though you had been friends for years, he never wanted you to see that side of him. He said he was too dangerous and that it was best for you to not see him when he wasn’t capable of controlling himself. You understood that he was trying to protect you, but a part of you had always been curious to see what he was like when he turned. You had seen all the movies and read billions of books, but you wanted to see what it was really like. Of course, you respected his decision and tried your best to silence the nagging voice in the back of your mind.

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Thighs - Jeff Atkins smut

Summary : “Jeff’s seen your thighs okay. And words can’t describe how much he wants them wrapped around his head.” Basically, Jeff eating you out.  I got this idea from @tevinter-winter, so the credit goes to her for that! Check out the post I got the plot from.

Pairing : Jeff Atkins x reader

Warnings : Oral sex

Words count : 1,428

A/N : Sorry it took so long for me to post it! I had some troubles writing the end, it kinda sucks. Also, this is so long, I didn’t paid attention to the length before the end. I haven’t wrote a full smut in a while so let me know what’s wrong with it so I could make it better next time!

Originally posted by sadiaxxstylesxxstiles

I was laying on the couch, my legs over Jeff’s lap. We were at his house, his parents being away until tomorrow morning. The both of us were watching some movie on Netflix Jeff wanted to see, but I wasn’t really into it. I’ve been on my phone for the past half hour.

Jeff was so into the movie, he wasn’t really paying attention. His hands were resting on my thigh, his thumb stroking my skin lightly. I was getting inconfortable in my position and too far from Jeff as my linking, so I moved my legs a bit, this way I could cuddle up to his side. He looked down at me as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders, smiling and then kissing my forehead before focusing back on the screen in front of him.

I started to get really bored. I didn’t wanted to distract my boyfriend from his movie, as he was really enjoying it. I innocently started playing with the aim of his shirt, rolling it between my fingers, rubbing the fabric against them. I could feel the end of the movie was near, as the characters were all finding solutions to whatever situation they had going on. My free hand slid up Jeff’s side before finding his hair and playing with it, nuzzling my face into his neck.

Suddenly, his hand moved up behind my thigh and massaged my skin, some other times grabbing it. I would lie if I said it didn’t had its effect on me. I let out a soft moan against the skin of his neck as he grabbed my butt without warning. I hear him chuckle at my reaction which leads me to straighten.

“What are you doing ?” I asked smiling at him, only waiting for him to answer so I could kiss him.

“I just love your thighs.” He eyed to them, massaging them again. “They’re so soft.” I putted my legs on each side of him so I could face him properly.

“Oh, yeah ?” He nodded in respond as my face was getting closer to his, and finally our lips connected. There started the battle between our tongues, dancing in sync, with moans escaping our mouths. I pulled away for air just a second and then slowly kissed my way down his jaw, onto his neck. “Tell me more.”

Jeff moaned louder as I was sucking on his neck, determined to leave a purple mark here. “I want them-” His sentence was cut short by another moan. My core grinning on his bulge, that was getting harder with every movement I made. “Fuck- I just want to put my head between them.”

I internally froze at his words. Jeff and I were dating for a few months  and everything was amazing, but he had never eaten me out before. Not that I didn’t wanted to, oh how I wanted it, I just didn’t know how to bring it up.

“Today’s your chance then.” Our lips were back together with a heated kiss.

His hands went to my waists to help me lay down on the couch. The kiss was broken for a few seconds and he took this opportunity to attack my neck, just like I did with his a few moments before. Moans were flying out of my mouth with his hands cupping me through my shirt? I wasn’t wearing any bra under his large tshirt I had on, and he took advantage of it, sliding one hand to touch my bare skin, the other resting on my waist. He was turning me on so much. The sens of him brushing on top of my skin made me shiver, my body letting him know by tensing up underneath him followed by a louder moan escaping my lips, which caught his attention. He began to be rougher in his touch, biting my neck where he had leaved his mark while rubbing it with his tongue. I was getting impatient, feeling the hot heat between my legs burning harder with every move he made at the surface of my body.

“Jeff, please touch me.” I was so needy at this moment, needy of his tongue, his fingers, of everything he could give me.

“Anything, princess.” His kisses stopped and for a second it felt so empty not to have him against me.

He placed a lazy kiss on my lips before removing my shirt, exposing my breast to his sight. In no time, he had my left nipple in his mouth, sucking on it, massaging the other. His adorable eyes looked up to me innocently, just to witness how it got me out of my mind? He loved it, the effect he’s got on me. Seeing his abilities to make me scream for him. He didn’t waste much time after it, bringing down his hand to where I needed him the most. It only took the light contact of his hands, hovering my core to get me crying out for more friction. I started to roll my hips over his fingers, hungry for more of him.

“Someone’s eager.” He laughed while releasing my nipple with a ‘pop’, noticing my impatient behavior.

“I just need you.” As I stated my desire, my panties were slowly  being dragged down down legs, the fabric brushing against my skin causing me to shiver in anticipation.

Jeff pushed my legs apart, laying down between them, just in font of my dripping core. Looking down at him, my breath got caught in my lungs when I saw the lust in his gaze. My bottom lips was stuck between my teeth, languidly waiting for the tension to break down, those seconds seeming like forever to me. Suddenly, I could feel the warm of his tongue, delving into my folds, leading to a high-pitched moan filling the room and echoing in my ears. I could feel him lapping every corners he explored, licking all the juices coming out the second he went in contact with it.

My head collapsed against the armrest, eyes closed, picturing the work of my boyfriend between my legs. My mouth was parted open, allowing the air to pass, and also a collection of scream. I felt his fingers parting my folds just to push one in? I cried out at the mixed sensation between my legs, almost covering my mouth by how loud I was screaming.

“Oh my god, keep doing it.” I pleaded to him.

My hands went down to grab his hair, tangling on it so hard I thought I was hurting him. But that only made him moan against me, sending vibrations through my whole body. My back was arching, Jeff pushing it back down to keep me still. His hand rested on my hip, one of my mine leaving his hair to place it on top of his. He immediately moved it so our fingers will intertwined, another tender touch connecting us. As he added another finger in, my legs began to shake around his head, tightening around it and I started to see stars behind my eyelids. Electricity waves were send in my stomach making me gaps in pleasure, as I was falling apart under Jeff’s actions. Our hands unlocked and I was back at pulling his hair again. He had to keep me still and did it by wrapping both of his muscled arms around my thighs, this way I couldn’t make a move to disturb him anymore. He kept lapping on the surface of my core and every time the knot on my stomach was getting bigger.

“Jeff, I’m- I’m gonna cum.” I murmured between breaths.

He took note of it and dragged me closer to him, making me scream even more. I felt his fingers picking up the pace inside me, and it only took that for my toes to start curling up, my legs shaking harder than before. I was embracing my release, feeling it was just on the edge. Just as I let a loud moan escape my mouth, my high send vibes all over my body, tensing up. Jeff didn’t stop until I moaned softly, letting him know I came down from my release. His head popped up on top of me and he laid it on my stomach, kissing it.

“Thank you.” Was all I said, out of breath. I stroked his hair slightly, closing my eyes.

“You’re welcome, babe.” He laughed gently at my words, which made my laugh too, just before his head came to my height and kissed me with love.