if you like my poems let them

author: lostcap  /  poems used: x . x . x . x . x . x . x . x . x . x . x . x . x . x . x . x 
* do not remove this credit , thank you.

❛ what a modern fucking tragedy you turned out to be. ❜
❛ what do you think the stars wish for then? ❜
❛ maybe i could have loved you in any life but ours. ❜
❛ i used to ache for a hurricane, an earthquake. ❜
❛ i found a catalyst for disaster in you. ❜
❛ is this what happens when the poem ends? ❜
❛ i found religion in betrayal. ❜
❛ things like us only exist in dreams. ❜
❛ you can’t give your storms to someone else. ❜
❛ nothing lasts forever, not even the rain. ❜
❛ it’s okay to fear. ❜
❛ don’t claw out your own throat while waiting for someone else to scream. ❜
❛ you are memories and moments. ❜
❛ in some other universe you’re asleep. ❜
❛ everyone leaves. let them. ❜
❛ you are not a ghost.  ❜
❛ you can’t haunt those that forget you. ❜
❛ everything ends and it’s okay. ❜
❛ my heart kept beating, out of sync with yours. ❜
❛ maybe i get to have a reason for the ache you left in my chest. ❜
❛ you exist still. ❜
❛ we can’t remember how to be alive. ❜
❛ the heavens burn for you and i. ❜
❛ every star is another story, every night a different sky. ❜
❛ we end to begin again. ❜
❛ beyond every somewhere, we exist. ❜
❛ the gods lie as often as men. ❜
❛ i sit not upon a throne of bone. ❜
❛ my kingdom wasn’t chosen. ❜
❛ the dead of mine do not speak. ❜
❛ history will write that you were the bravest of them all. ❜
❛ all stars must burn. ❜
❛ the greatest things must end. ❜
❛ hell is just another place i guess i’ll go to keep you warm. ❜
❛ if the monster always dies at the end of the book, why am i still alive? ❜
❛ gods don’t care about what might have been. ❜
❛ men shall fall and gods be forgotten. ❜
❛ you will be remembered eternally. ❜

I trusted you. All the dusty corners of my soul, the ones that I had been too scared to reach, I let you come in and sweep them clean. I opened myself up to you in ways I swore I never would. Every inch of me was yours. And then you threw it away like trash. You took every part of me, every thing we’d planned and grown, every piece of love and trust I gave to you, and burned it to the ground. Because this isn’t love. That’s what you said, that you didn’t love me. But of course you didn’t, I’m just a broken girl crazy enough to think you would be different.
—  My fault.

And so he became home.

Because I realized something through it all, that yes, you lose a whole hell of a lot of people throughout this life, more than you’ll ever want. One right after the other, each person walks into your heart, makes you believe - believe in them, and one day, one day it all just stop. And when they finally leave, they all seem to take a piece of you with them. Now you’re left with nothing but empty scars and holes reminding you of those you once loved.

But then one person comes along, and you tell yourself that this time you want your walls all the way up, higher than ever before. You don’t want to let him in, having to clean up another mess, and beating yourself down when he leaves - just like the rest of them. But what if this one stays? What if you’re the one who was wrong about him and you kept all those walls up for nothing?

He became home because he taught me to love again. He filled all my holes, mended every scar, and made my heart whole again. He was the one to love me.

—  c.f. // “don’t let me down”
journaling ideas/inspiration

So here’s a list of thing to inspire you, some are for drawings and other are for writing or both

1. angels/gods/feathers/wings

2. once when I was in a dream someone told me…

3. parallel universes (I’m right here why can’t you see/hear me)

4. cut out shapes from images (”there’s something missing”)

5. winter/summer sky at 5pm/5am/10am… (colors cut out from magazines or painted with watercolors/acrylics/whatever)

6. moments right before the storm, when everything is flying around, grey clouds, unrest

7.too tired to think ( random thoughts/pictures that go through my head right before I fall asleep)

8.illustrate a dream you had

9. what do you believe in ( about life/death, what comes after, meaning of it all…)

10. the butterfly effect

11.draw same thing in different mediums/ with left and right hand

12. favorite movie/series (favorite quote from it, scenes, how it made you feel)

13. what do you think about when you’re laying in dark,empty room

14. abandoned buildings/ playgrounds, empty train stations/parks, old houses

15. places where no one has been in a while and a nature got to it and grew all over the walls and floor, shattered glass, spider webs, sun rays shining through tree branches

these are just ideas and pictures in my mind I haven’t yet managed to put on paper and if anyone decides to use some of them and posts please tag me I’d like to see how you imagined it :)

if you like it let me know, I might make another one

You deserve the love you keep trying to give everyone else. You are a rare breed, sparking and gleaming in a world that does not yet understand what it means to love ferociously. You deserve to find someone who does not ask you to lessen your roar, who is in awe of the magnitude by which your passion burns. You deserve to find someone who will only ever want to add to your fire, someone who will use their own matchstick heart to encourage your passion, to magnify your flame. Until then, use the world as your kindling, use experience as your coal. Grow your love like a wildfire, and never back down from its heat; never let them dim its light.

You have been here to try and keep me sane-
Whatever sanity I still have left, anyway.
Right when I want to go insane,
You tell me, save it, for better days.

You let me lose my crazy mind
Only so that I can find it, one more time.
You tell me to think things through
Before I let my emotions stick like glue.

You keep me with my feet on the ground
While helping me rise up higher than I thought.
You brush my doubts away with a blown kiss
Like they are leaves, lost in a breeze.

You tell me to breathe, making me feel at ease;
It’s like I can feel my mind- finally settling down.
You tell me to let out all that’s in my beating heart;
And you pick up my broken pieces, working to put them back.

This isn’t a love poem-
And yet, 
It is.

————————–

@teacup13…because a mere thank you, just would not do.

i’m not fucking scared of anything. spin me around like i weigh nothing, throw me off a balcony, show me shadows in my dark bedroom and leave me alone with them for awhile. i’m not fucking scared, keep going, i’m good. now tell me you hate me. you wish every night i would drown. let me know all the terrible things you say when someone asks about me. my hands don’t shake, my ribs dont crack. i’m just fine, boy. i’m not afraid of you.

Flash-forward a few years when our paths finally cross. You’ll ask me how I’m doing and I’ll tell you of my latest adventures with him.

“I’m so happy for you!” you’ll say with that bright smile that helped me through one of my darkest times.

And I’ll wear my sad smile, the one I know too well. I don’t know if you’ll pick up on the hint of sadness like you used to. Maybe you will and ask me what’s wrong. “I wanted you to be the one by my side, sharing these experiences with me. You said I’d find better but I’m still looking for you in all of them,” I’ll say.

—  I’m terrified - Jess Amelia

I always give more chances
than I should
And he knew it

So I shouldn’t have been surprised
That right when I felt like
I was moving on

He would appear out of thin air
Telling me how much he missed me

It made my heart race
More than it should’ve
But everyone should get second chances right?

Or three
Or four

That’s what I kept telling myself
Until I kept getting let down

I don’t know when I’m going to learn
That some people
No matter how much you love them
Just don’t deserve it

You can’t help who you fall in love with,
and you also can’t help how it happens.
Time determines a lot of the things that we do -
but when it comes to love,
character, commitment, and care for the other individual matters most.

It’s so easy to feel things more deeply with someone who you’ve only known for 2 months
compared to someone who you’ve known for almost all your life.
Love isn’t what you can financially provide someone with;
Love isn’t “marry me so that I know your love for me is real.”
Love isn’t just having sex five times a week or bringing a child into this world because you’re afraid your partner might leave so you use that as an excuse so that they can stay.

I’ve always believed love is mental, emotional, and spiritual.
1. You understand what your partner wants without them having to constantly ask for it and mental [intellectual] love usually outlasts physical love.
2. If they’re one to feel a lot or not feel anything at all or both, be there for them. Don’t let them deal with things alone.
3. Regardless of the differences, with spiritual love, as you get to know a person, something about them touches your very soul. You feel not just friendship, but a true kinship [understanding] with the person. You feel like even if you separated and never saw each other again, the connection would remain.

—  My Opinion on Love: it has to feel ethereal.
IMMOVABLE OBJECTS

I love you. 

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you–
I love you harder than this heart of mine can beat.
I love you farther than these hands of mine can reach.
I love you longer than these bones of mine will last.

Perhaps, in some other world,
     where the horizons are wider than ours,
     where the oceans are deeper and the stars are brighter,
Perhaps this other world can encompass this love of mine, 
but dear heart, all I have here are 
     five inadequate fingers to caress you with and
     four inadequate limbs to hold you with and
     three inadequate words to comfort you with and
     two inadequate lips to kiss you with and
     one inadequate life to love you with.

They say, dear heart, that Love in an unstoppable force,
     and I believe them.
          I do.
It’s just that I’m also learning, day by slow day,
that there are more immovable objects than I ever thought existed. 

I cannot love you into safety. 
I cannot love away the nightmares that haunt your midnight sleep.
I cannot love together the pieces of you that they broke apart.
I cannot love us back to the past where the skies were rosier and your smiles were brighter.
I cannot love us into a future where I can promise you you will never be hurt again. 
I cannot love you back from Misery’s grasping fingers and Death’s cold hands.

I cannot even, dear heart,
     no matter how hard my heart longs and my breath shudders, 
I cannot love us into a quiet grave where we can rest, 
     side by side
     at last at peace
     together

But dear heart, I promise you this:
I will try.
I will try until my last gasping breath
     and my last pounding heartbeat
     and my last trembling step
     and my last whimpering prayer.

I will try, dear heart,
     until we reach a quiet grave where we can rest, 
          side by side
          at last at peace
          together.

If I cannot win against the world, dear heart,
     then by God,
I will not let them win against me, either. 

I still think about her every goddamn day.
You know when you’re going through an entire day without even remembering their name, and then you pass by a place, thing, or even remember some kind of food and they cross your mind and then you’re like oh fuck.
Then they’re on your mind the entire day, week, month, and it’s so fucking hard to let them go.

I would walk across miles of hot coals,
just for one ounce of your pure love.

I would travel galaxies,
walk across the realms above,
just for your hand to hold.


I would fashion Saturn’s ring,
into an engagement.
Let the stars be our witness,
and this immortal infatuation our eternal bond.


I would grow a tiny universe inside of me,
until I glow like the moon.
If my light would captivate your wandering eyes. 


Fuck,
I’d do anything for you
to let your galaxy bleed into mine,
I no longer want to live in a universe of black and white,
But darling, all my color is with you.


I would rip myself apart,
let this unclean blood spill on sacred grounds,
hold myself together with staples and stolen ribcages, 
If it would make me the object of your desire.


I would carve prayers into my ribcage,
rename the space between them Jerusalem,
until I become angel, until I become holy,
If it would make you worship me.


I would swallow supernovas for you,
stitch black holes closed,
make a constellation in your image,
grow a cosmic garden in your stead, 
If it would make you notice me.


I would do fucking anything
if it meant you would write me poems,
like the ones I write about you love.

—  I open my mouth and I tell you to love me, you look at me with those eyes and I know that you can’t 
I guess you could say we were in love.
For a little while.
But somewhere we lost it.
It slipped through our fingers like water.
And I forgot that even if you’re hurting you’re still human.
I’m still human.
Even if some nights I let myself bleed out until I’m a corpse on my bathroom floor. 
Even if some nights you say I love you even if you don’t want to.
—  Don’t forget the reason you stopped answering the phone for them.

anonymous asked:

I'm not sure if you've done this yet, but how would PTA moms react to confrontation about favoritism? Also who do you think would be their favorites, and why?

  • hakyeon doesn’t get confronted because vixx is like “we’re adults.” but hongbin once was like “why does hyuk get all those games….” and hakyeon is like “because hyuk is a baby. also i remember when you were mean to me in vixxtv season 1 episode 4.”
  • jin damn well knows jimin is his favorite and when confronted he’s like “it’s not that i choose to like him the most,,,,,,it’s just we have so much in common like we both like to make lemonade, and he bakes with me, and we both like to read poems, and he offers to hold my camera up when i do my vlogs. last week jungkook drew a mustache on me when i was sleeping and yoongi hardly tells me about his problems,,,,,,,,it’s hard to connect with them,,,,”
  • kihyun doesn’t have a favorite, all of his kids are stars, top-notch, the best, and if you say he has a favorite he’ll be like “you think i like minhyuk the best? while minhyuk is charming, handsome, and kind let me tell you about jooheon my hardworking little bub who truly deserves all the support. don’t even get me started on hyungwon-”
  • jeonghan is like “i have a favorite. his name is dino. he’s amazing. whose wonwoo? is that the tall one? oh no wait that’s mingyu”
  • suho loves baekhyun because baekhyun relies on him for everything and it can get annoying but suho loves the attention and when they’re like “why is he your favorite and not chanyeol?” suho almost on the verge of tears, “chanyeol is all grown up now,,,,he doesn’t need me,,,,no one needs me,,,,,,,,,,,,”. don’t guilt trip this poor man
the air smells like forgiveness. i still love you softly and unwillingly. maybe it is meant to be this way. two soulmates never crashing. i wrote my apologies into letters you will never read. you let them into days i will never visit. the times feels like new beginnings and i am letting you go. i am ready to hug the world once again.
—  k.m
Bts finding out their younger sister has depression bc of bad friends.

He found you sitting on your bed, just staring out your window.

“You okay?…”

“How do you stop from feeling really sad?”

“You let everything flow out, talk to me.”

“My friends… they don’t treat me, well, like a friend.”

Namjoon:

“Teenagers can be mean just remember they do not define you. You’ll find better friends along the way that like you for you. Use the treatment your getting right now as a muse for something creative… a poem, a painting. Also dont hang around them any more. I don’t like seeing you sad you little bum.”

Originally posted by bangtannoonas

Jin:

“Who dares make a Kim member sad! I’m sorry y/n, everything will get better as you grow, I promise. I mean when have I ever been wrong?”

“The time you told be to eat the green pill instead of the white and I ended up sleeping for a whole day even though all I had was a my sore throat”

“Not the point. Just know that everybody has bad times in their life so that way the good times could be better than you could ever imagine! Now, you wanna come make some cupcakes? We can make your favorite! <3”

Originally posted by jjilljj

Hoseok:

“Well, those aren’t true friends, now are they? Ditch them. I know you’re a good person and its hard for you to leave people behind but trust me you’ll feel much better after. You might be alone for a while but hey thats better than being treated badly by others especially when you have a choice. Plus you won’t be fully alone… I’ll be here!”

Originally posted by hoseokb

Yoongi:

“Well first, they’re dead. And second, don’t be an idiot and stay friends with them. I know this is very blunt but if you feel like you’re unwanted by them, leave. You don’t deserve to be hurt by some people that aren’t going to be in your life forever. You’re young! Live your life with people who truly like you. And  don’t stress out over little things. Do you remember when I was stuck in a slump? Look at me now. Winning awards left and right with my best friends.”

Originally posted by jeonsshi

Taehyung:

“There missing out on you y/n! You’re such a good person, don’t you forget that! I wish I could be in high school again just so I could hang out with you. I don’t like seiing you so hurt by this, by them. Please do me a favor and drop them. You can find such better people whether it be online or from other schools! I’ll be your friend… I’ll come by during lunch and just hang with you. Every single day until you don’t need me anymore!”

Originally posted by xtronnorfravan

Jimin:

“There’s no point as associating them as friends then. They need a new title… starngers! You need to get away from toxic people before they really start damaging you and putting a toll on you. I really hope you make the right choice in leaving them and go meet some new people. Start a club at school or join clubs online with people that have the same interest. You can always text me if your feeling lonely okay!”

Originally posted by wellhell0therenicetomeetyou

Jungkook:

“Who hurt my baby sis?! That really irks me ya know, you’re such a sweet person. I don’t understand how people can be so rude. Leave them, they don’t understand us cool kids. Viva la Jeons! Don’t let this hang over you okay? You don’t need this type of situation, its a waste of time. Spend your time doing more important things like studying! You do want a good job right?” “I’m gonna fight your ‘friends’.” *fighting stance*

Originally posted by just-sad-fandom-trash

You’re the eye of the storm my life has become. Twisting and turning, there’s rain in my face and hail on my chest but when your hand touches my arm suddenly it
just
stops.
It’s like when I kiss you the riots sit down in silence
When you hold me volcanoes pull back their fire
Like I’m wrapped up in Daisy chains not wrought iron
Until you let go and I smell them running
Hear them sweating with the flames and the fury
The storm is returning and I know I’m not ready
Thundering closer
Footsteps louder
They’re almost upon me I know I’m too weak, I can’t-
Suddenly, your lips on my cheek
One last kiss goodbye
From another beautiful week
This kiss is my armour
Your smile is my sword
I have you by my side
Bring on the ruddy storm.
—  ThisNameIsFalse (bring on the storm)
You’re going to meet someone, and maybe they’ll be your best friend or your mentor or your first love or your last love, and they’re going to understand you better than anybody else. They’ll be able to say what you’re thinking as you think it, and know how you’re feeling and what kind of day you’re having just by looking at you, and the best part is, you’ll be able to do the same for them. When you meet that person, don’t let go. Grab on to them as tightly as your hands can bear, because a person like that only comes once in a lifetime. Don’t let them slip away.
—  EMJ // Soulmates

here lies all the sentences cut short by my indecisiveness
all the periods stapled on after words that weren’t meant
to be the finish

i run my hands through frostbitten soil 
and scrape my palms on headstones
where the bloodiest poems of mine are buried–
funny how each one is engraved with your name

and i will not apologize for writing about you
just like you will never apologize for making me
not because you aren’t sorry
but because you don’t realize that it’s your fault

i didn’t ask to be a poet
although it is my fault that i’ve let it ruin my life
i wish i could stifle the urge to bleed onto pages
i wish i didn’t have to bury every sweet song 
you had ever whispered in my ear

is this a love poem or an apology letter?
i can’t tell the difference between them anymore–
mostly because i love you, but i’m sorry for it.

—  gravedigger -c.h. // instagram: @evanescent.love (via @poeticaffinity)