the signs as shit my english teacher has said
aries: if you start you essay with “In the book The Great Gatsby…” im gonna throw you out that window
taurus: elvish looks nothing like that
gemini: when we get back, you’re playing the trumpet or I’m failing you
cancer: oh I forget this class doesn’t get irony
leo: I’m definitely lawful good, c’mon, have you met me?
virgo: you guys know what raisins are right?
libra: *uses the word ‘artifice’ 13 times in 3 sentences*
scorpio: “Jesus Christ” Just Jonathan will do, thanks
sagittarius: I wonder if [Ryan Ross]’s an asshole
capricorn: I respect any song that has heavy breathing as a bass line
aquarius: I fucking hate sublime, like we get it. you smoked weed once and it was cool
pisces: Hamlet’s long, but he’s worth it