I need u - Taehyung
I Need U - Taehyung
Pairing: Taehyung x reader
Genre; Drama, Romance
Word Count: 4.131
Summary; based on the MV “I need u” with you as the lead
“Hello?” you answered the phone next to your motel bed. It was dark, which meant you had been sleeping almost all day and there were only a few people who knew where they could reach you. “Y/N?”
“Taehyung?” you wasn’t sure as your head wasn’t really clear yet and he sounded weird. “Ye, it’s me, I need to talk to you.” you quickly checked the time and knew something was really wrong. “What’s wrong?”
“No not through the phone, I will come over.” you sighed and sat up not even trying to make some effort. You waited for Taehyung to arrive and when you heard the knock, you finally got up to open it but stopped when you saw Taehyung completely covered in blood, it was a terrifying thing to see, you quickly pulled him inside the room and made sure he sat down on the bed whilst you collected water and towels. “What happened? Are you hurt?” were the first things you fired at him when you kneeled down in front of him, checking to see if he was hurt but apparently this blood wasn’t his.
“I did something bad.” You nodded because seeing this you had guessed it and you had a feeling it had something to do with his stepfather. “Did you hurt him?” he nodded as the first tear fell on your hand, you sighed again and pulled him on the floor with you and hugged him tightly to your body and let him cry, you often wondered how you all became friends and when did it all turn to hell. “What did you do Tae?”
“I killed him.” you couldn’t let him see that you were shocked because he was upset enough as it was, the only thing you could think about was if he had checked to know for sure his stepfather was dead but you couldn’t ask him this. “It’s okay, we will make sure nobody will know it was you.” you sat back and wiped away the last bit of blood that had been on his hands. You pulled his shirt over his head and gave him a new shirt, which fitted him luckily “We will call the others tomorrow but for now just sleep okay.” you got up and he immediately laid down on your bed, which meant you had to sleep with him in the same bed because there was nothing else you could sleep on except the floor but you weren’t going to do that and Taehyung needed the comfort, so this would be okay right?
The minute you laid next to him, after checking to see he was asleep, you turned your back towards him and closed your eyes, only to wake up to the sunlight that came through the window and you weren’t even shocked to feel Taehyung against your back, he had pulled you into his arms in his sleep, you turned to look at him and you felt his pain, you reached out your hand and gently stroked the lines of his face, which made him open his eyes, he smiled at you but the smiled never reached his eyes.
“Let’s call Jin.” this made him pale and that surprised you “What’s wrong?”
“We can’t call Jin.”
“He got into a car accident.” He was quiet after that and that’s when it sunk in, that’s why he had called you but why hadn’t he said anything about this even though he had something else on his mind. You immediately got up from the bed and pulled on your shoes. “Which hospital does he?” your question got stuck in your throat as Taehyung shook his head sadly. “You forgot didn’t you?”
“What did I forget?”
“He died a few weeks ago, remember?” You just stared at him wondering why he was talking such nonsense. “How is that possible, I recently saw him.” You were hesitating when you saw his face, he actually was pitying you, which had to mean something as he was in much bigger problems.
“Yoongi told me that there was something wrong with you a few days after Jin died but I didn’t think you still don’t want to acknowledge that Jin Hyung actually died.” you shook your head slightly in denial but he looked so serious that you had to believe him “Really?” you mumbled and he nodded his head and got up from your bed and grabbed your shoulders and pushed you in front of a mirror and when you looked at the girl in the mirror you were shocked to see someone looking so unhealthy. It was as if you finally could grasp what happened around you and that’s when you realized that you hadn’t been in contact with any of the others.
“Tae, what happened to us?” you asked in a small voice because there had to be a reason why you stayed in a motel but you just couldn’t remember anything, it was like your brain had been on shut down the last couple of weeks. “After Jin died, the group couldn’t handle it. You locked yourself away and didn’t even attend his funeral, Jungkook walked away from home and also got into an accident, Yoongi Hyung died in a fire, Jimin tried to drown himself and Hoseok Hyung overdosed but they are still alive, they are just in a mental hospital and Namjoon Hyung died in an explosion at the gas station.” You must look completely in shock to hear about this and you wondered how it could’ve gone so wrong in so little time.
“Can We visit Hoseok and Jimin?” you asked him completely forgetting that he just killed a guy “We can but I don’t think I should go out right now.” that’s when it hit you. “Shit.” You let yourself fall on the ground knowing that you had to turn it around, you had to take back control of your life and first you had to help Taehyung by finding out of his stepdad really had died and after that you had to visit Jimin and Hoseok and lastly you had to take care of yourself. “We need to check the news to see if there was a report of what you did.” he nodded and turned on the crappy tv and luckily for Taehyung there wasn’t any news about the guys that had been stabbed, which meant he was still alive so now you only had to check hospitals. You pulled on your shoes but Taehyung stopped you “You should take a shower first.” he smiled gently at you and you immediately felt embarrassed because you really must look like a real mess.
You quickly took a shower and pulled on some clean clothes, it did make you feel better, you quickly dried your hair and pulled it in a messy bun and walked out of the bathroom to a waiting Taehyung and the minute he saw you, he finally smiled at you but it still didn’t reach his eyes, which wasn’t weird because your heart also felt heavy from everything you just heard and you still couldn’t fully believe it but there wasn’t sounding any insincerity in his voice when he told me about the others, so there was nothing to do then just to believe him. “Let’s go.” you grabbed his hand and together you went to different hospitals and as you were about to give up, Taehyung asked at the last hospital if they brought in a guy with stab wounds and they actually nodded. “We do, do you want to know his room?”
“Please.” she gave us the number and we slowly walked towards the room where you spotted his mother. “Tae, your mother is in there.” he walked up behind you and looked over your shoulder, he was trembling but you weren’t sure if it was out of rage or something else. “Are you okay?” he nodded but he was clearly not okay but you knew that this wasn’t the time to press it. “Go talk to your mom.” you opened the door and quickly pushed him inside, this was really important and now he could see with his own eyes if he had become a murderer.
“Are you okay?” You turned around and looked at a doctor, who was looking at you worried and you couldn’t blame the guy. “I’m not but I will be.” you tried to sound convincing but he just shook his head. “Do you want to talk?” you check to see if Taehyung was okay but he was hugging his mother so you probably had some time before he would come out of the room. “Do I have to?”
“Yes you do.” he walked away and there was nothing else to do than to follow him into his office. You sat down and waited for him to talk but he was still busy observing you and you tried to smile but failed miserably as the nerves took over. “When did you last eat?” Why did he need to start with a difficult question because to be honest you really didn’t know when you ate for the last time.
“I don’t know.”
“Do you want something to eat?” your stomach was already growling when he asked when you ate for the last time so you nodded shyly and he actually got up and grabbed a cup ramen noodles, which he put in front of you and before you could stop yourself you stuffed your mouth full, your manners were long gone as you ate the noodles while being aware of the fact that the doctor was staring at you, whilst writing things down.
“Did something happen that you stopped eating?”
“Apparently my best friend died in a car crash,” you told him realizing that you sounded as if you still thought as if it wasn’t true. “Why do you sound as if you don’t believe it?”
“I just have a hard time to accept it. This morning my other friend told me about everything that had happened the past weeks but I can’t remember anything about it but I do believe him but I think I’m still in denial.” you know you were self-diagnosing, which must sound weird but all you could do was focus on the delicious meal in front of you. “I do think you are in denial and it’s not a good thing. You should be able to grief instead of denying that he died. Did you have a certain relationship with him?”
“He was like my older brother, he was the only one that never walked away from me.” you smiled at him but he shook his head slightly and his expression was sad and worried. “I think you need help.”
“Aren’t you helping me now?”
“I am but I’m not a psychologist.”
“I’m not going to see a shrink, doc.”
“I don’t have a lot of money, I even life at a motel, so I will see this as therapy.” He was quiet for a while but you saw that he already had made his mind up. “Okay, I want you to come once a week, okay?” You nodded your head and got up because Taehyung must be worried by now “Wait a minute.” he quickly gave you his card, which you put in your pocket “You can call me whenever you need okay and please eat.”
“I promise, I really have to go now.” you walked into the hallway and wasn’t surprised to see Taehyung walking around in panic “Tae!” you called his name and he immediately turned around and pulled you in his arms. “Please don’t disappear like that okay.”
“I won’t I promise but are you okay?”
“Ye, He isn’t dead ad he won’t press charges.” that on its own was a miracle as he did stab him but it was a good thing because there was no way you could lock Taehyung up or even worse.
“Tae? Is it really true what you told me back at the motel?” He nodded and hugged you a little harder “I’m sorry for neglecting you.” you shrugged because, to be honest at least you were still alive. “Can we visit them?” he knew what you meant right away and he nodded “Let’s go.” together you walked to the memorial of your four best friends, the minute you stepped inside the room, your heart started to beat like crazy, it was like it finally started living again and as you inhaled oxygen, you had trouble to see. “Tae I can’t.” you were out of breath and you knew that this was a panic attack “Y/N just focus on my voice okay.” you tried to nod which was really hard to do and as Taehyung took your hand he pulled you and sat you down. “It will be okay just try to calm down.”
“I can’t.” was all you could say and now you knew why you had denied their deaths because you couldn’t handle it, the way they died you knew about it all, as you had been informed about it by their family but the reality of losing your family was too hard as you literally had no one else except them, as you were an orphan, this was also a reason why you lived in a motel, you didn’t really have a lot of money. Your train of thoughts stopped when you felt hands on your face, this made you stop panicking and as you opened your eyes, you looked straight into Taehyung’s eyes “Just focus on me, it will be okay.” you did exactly what he said and within a few minutes your breathing went back to normal. Taehyung brushed a few lost hair strands from your face “Are you okay now?” you nodded hesitantly but it was enough for him to help you up and guide you to the guys. You could only stare at the pictures of your friends, these were pictures from when you all were still happy and carefree, you touched the glass of each and mumbled sorry for being late to all of them, you stopped at Jungkook’s and that’s when the first tear fell. How in the world could he be here, why didn’t he come to you? Even in the state, you were in, you would have taken care of him.
“This is my fault isn’t it?”
“Of course not JK run away from home and got in trouble and as he crossed the road a driver went through red and well you get the picture, there was nothing you could have done.” he rubbed your back gently as you nodded. “Let’s go visit Jimin and Hoseok,” you said after a while. One thing you did know for sure, you would return a lot of times to spend time with them and mostly to apologize.
The mental hospital was somewhere hidden from the public eye and as you got off the bus you couldn’t help but love the surroundings, they were in the middle of nature which must be soothing for the patients. As you walked to the entrance you started to feel nervous because you should’ve been here already. “Tae, do I have to be worried?” He shook his head and smiled at you and this time he looked more at ease.
“They will be happy to see you.”
“Are you sure because I wasn’t there for them when I should have.”
“Don’t worry.” he opened the door and ask the nurse if it was okay to visit Jimin and Hoseok, she actually smiled at him and nodded, giving him two visitor passes. “Are you ready?”
“I am.” together you passed the security door and walked into a visitor room and within minutes the door opened to show two handsome patients. They smiled when their eyes landed on you and in a matter of seconds they had pulled you in their arms. “We missed you,” they mumbled together and that made you smile because even though they were here they were still together, at least they had each other.
“I’m so so sorry,” you mumbled in tears but they stopped you from crying right away because they knew that once you started there wasn’t going to be an end. “We understand, Taehyung told us that you had a difficult time to accept what happened.” you nodded and silently thanked Taehyung for telling him what had happened.
“You did lose a lot of weight, are you eating?”
“I started eating today, a doctor gave me ramen noodles.”
“You need to eat, what would Jin say if he found out that you weren’t eating.”
“He would scold the hell out of me.” you smiled at the memory of him scolding us if we skipped a meal. “He would right.” Hoseok ruffled your hair a bit. “Please don’t leave us again.”
“I won’t, I promise but you guys have to promise me something as well.”
“Don’t try to kill yourself again, I really can’t live without you, you’re my family.”
“How much longer do you need to stay here?” you asked them curiously because they must’ve been here for a while now and they really didn’t look ill. “We are getting discharged in a few days.”
“Tae, take care of Y/N okay?” Taehyung nodded and promised them he would take care of you and with that visiting hour was over and you had to say goodbye. With a hug, you left them and went back home together with Taehyung, it was again the motel room but maybe you could now start to look for a proper house where you could all live. Taehyung made you stop at a convenience store to get some things to eat and drink, he paid for it, which was good because you really didn’t have any money.
After dinner, we sat down in front of the tv and just watched a random movie together, when you finally started to feel tired. Your head was resting on Taehyung’s shoulder, which felt nice and safe. You had always felt like this with Taehyung and you were happy to see that this had not changed. “I missed this.” he suddenly confessed and you had to agree even without knowing your body had betrayed you the minute he walked through that door covered in blood. “I missed you too.” you felt the air shift, he turned so you head to lift your head from his shoulder and now he was sitting opposite from you but he was so close that you felt a warmth spread through your body.
He stretched out his hand and touched your cheek, which was probably red by now. And next thing you know he grabbed your waist and pulled you on his lap and hugged you tightly. “I’m glad that you are almost back to normal.” he mumbled against your ear, sending shivers down your spine “thank you for coming to me.”
He pulled back and gazed into your eyes and you knew what would be coming next. He gently pushed his lips against yours and without hesitating you kissed him back, time had stopped while you kissed each other, he deepened the kiss and put his hands in your hair, your hands were on his chest `and without any doubt you pulled his shirt over his head and he followed your example really fast, within seconds you were wearing nothing more than your underwear. He lifted you and laid you down on the bed and he just stood there staring at you, to say you felt a bit shy was an understatement, as you did lose a lot of weight but the way he looked at you didn’t show any resentment, it was like he was waiting for you to give him permission. “Taehyung I need you.” you stretched out your arms and that’s all it took.
The next morning you woke up in Taehyung’s arms and that’s when you thought back to last night and you couldn’t help but smile. It had been truly amazing and maybe we were brought together because of the tragedy of losing family members but it was all you needed. You needed his arms to feel safe and to feel loved and that was exactly what he did last night. Loving you. “Tae? Do you want to get some breakfast?” you whispered against his lips and as he kissed you back, your heart felt as if it was going to jump out of your chest.
“Yes I’m famished.” he stretched his body which gave me a good view of his perfect body. “Wipe your drool.” he poked you in your dimple when he said that, clearly teasing you but you still wiped away the imaginary drool. The next few days went by fast as you tried to get hold of your life again together with Taehyung. You paid a visit to the memorial every day, you talked to them about the old days, you also gave the doctor a call and he really helped you out, he did give you medication for your depression and they really helped but you tried to go without them and only take them when you really felt down but with Tae next to you it was almost impossible, it were only the hours he wasn’t there that you felt really down. You had found a house to live with the others as well.
The day that they were released Taehyung and you were waiting for them outside the building and the minute the stepped outside you were in each other’s arms hugging and crying at the same time. You talked so much about everything that had happened that at the end of the day you were all asleep in the car in front of the house. Taehyung was the first to wake up and woke you all up.
“Welcome home!” you told them as they walked in but they stopped when they saw the huge wallpaper. It was of us all together at the beach, it was the best picture you could find and you didn’t hesitate to hang it up. You all stood there looking at it, the atmosphere changed from happy to sad and then it became calm. “Thank you.” was all they mumbled and you just nodded. “Come I will show you your room.” you guided them through the house and opened a door to a pretty big room, there were two beds, “I thought you would want to share a room.”
“This is amazing, how did you get the money.”
“I didn’t, Taehyung paid for it,” you confessed embarrassed. They didn’t judge you though as they started to unpack their stuff. You quietly left the room and walked straight into Taehyung’s arms. “Stop worrying, they will love it.” you nodded against his shoulder and from that moment it was like old times, well almost like old times. Jimin and Hoseok, joined you every day to the memorial and within days you were finally able to go back to work and before you knew it, the year had passed by since they died but instead of going to the memorial like we did every day, we decided to do something else.
We drove up to the shore where we spend a lot of time, just playing around. You arrived when the sun started to go under. We just stared at the horizon from the car, as if we needed the courage to get out. You sighed and opened the door first, the others followed soon after you got out. You took the sky lanterns, four to be exact and took them with you to the highest point, which looked out over the ocean, the guys followed you quietly. You all looked at the horizon and thought about everything you had done together and as the wind was blowing through your hair, it was like they were here as well. “Let’s lit the lanterns.” You whispered and you silently lit them. Together you held them up and waited until the sun was completely under and that’s when you let them go. You held hands as you stared after the lanterns.
You know you were crying just as the others were crying. It was like they were here too, to say goodbye. “Thank you for everything, thank you for taking me in and taking care of me, I will never forget you as long as I live, I will miss you guys,” you said under your breath as you watched how the last lantern disappeared from sight. You looked at each other and you all bowed towards the ocean to pay your last respect, the minute the last light was gone you turned around and walked away without looking back.