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Not A Joke

Summary: Dan and Phil’s friends have dared Phil to get Dan off right this second, despite the fact that they despise each other. 

Includes: voyeurism, enemies to lovers, and a sudden need for church

Word Count: 1.7k

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No Scars To Your Beautiful (Negan x Plus Size Fem!Reader)

Requested by @mcrmy-for-life-2013 : could you do one where he saves a girl and she becomes one of his wives but she’s extremely self conscious about how she looks because she’s curvy and has tattoos and scars. And all he wants to do is prove to her that he thinks she’s beautiful. And she admits that she’s never had anyone actually make love to her and not just fuck her until they finished. And he shows her how a woman should be treated and she becomes his favorite. Can it be really smutty and fluffy?

A/N: I hope I did your request justice and that you’ll enjoy it. It’s my first time writing with a plus size reader, so I hope I don’t disappoint.

Warnings: Smut, Angst & Fluff, Self-Doubt, Body Confidence, Body Image, Caring & Loving Negan, Explicit Language, Swearing.

For most of your life you’ve been asking yourself the same question.

Who was this monster staring back at you in the mirror?

The various scars from the car accident you’d been in as a teenager was spread across your skin, and you’d been trying to cover them up with tattoos ever since. But one thing you couldn’t cover up how much you even tried was the curves on your body. Other girls had always said how much they envied your curves but you knew it had to be a lie. When all that stared back at you in the mirror was a lump of flesh and fat. When every guy you’d ever been with said you needed to lose weight. And you had tried. Both for them but mostly for yourself. Maybe you could finally be happy if you saw what you wanted to see in the mirror?

A perfect and flawless woman. But despite all of your efforts, the weight was still there. The curves were still there to taunt you every day.

But all of that was in the past. Now, in this post-apocalyptic world, there was no time to worry about the way one looked. And you hadn’t really. Until you met him. When Negan saved you from being eaten by a herd of biters.

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My Top 10 DGHDA fics

Since this lil fandom is expanding with the advent of season 2 (and since we are all still REELING from yesterday’s phenomenal episode oh my GOD), I thought I’d rave a bit about my favourite fics. I know if you’ve been in the fandom any length of time then you’ve already read all of these, but rec lists never hurt, especially with new faces popping up! 

Please note, this is a list of my personal favourites, and therefore is very biased in favour of Brotzly, and very biased in a multitude of other ways. There are lots of other great fics on ao3 as well, I’m just very otp-focused. 

(Also, I decided I wasn’t going to have anyone on here twice, but I have both inky and neko on here twice because they have written such a high number of iconic fics)

1. Universal Truths by inkyfishes @inkyfishes​ )

Author Summary:

“…Very long story short, until yesterday, it hailed as my greatest case: one of deception, danger, double-crosses, and an all-round perversion of high emotion and - dare I say it - romance…”

What do horses, robots, time-travel, false identities, alternate universes, flagrant homosexuality and the University of Cambridge have in common? Probably not much, but it’s all Todd Brotzman has to work with after he falls through a hole in space and time, arriving at St. Cedd’s College for the first day of Svlad Cjelli (not yet notoriously known as Dirk Gently). There’s a case to be solved, but it refuses to start. For both Todd and Svlad, and Dirk and Farah, events unfold in exactly the way you’d expect at Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency.

(This work is canon-compliant as per the end of Season 1. It refers to canon set out in the two Dirk Gently novels, the Dirk Gently 2010 TV Series, the Dirk Gently Comics “The Salmon of Doubt” and the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series, but none of that is needed to understand the work.)

My gushing:

It’s a close call, since there is a lot of great stuff in this fandom, but this is my personal favourite Dirk Gently fic. The ambition and scope of this story absolutely blows my mind. It unites pretty much every form of Dirk Gently, from the original novels up to the most recent BBCA version which forms the main focus of the story, and its take on the characters is both original and convincing. Beautifully written, funny, sad, and with romantic tension that will knock your socks off. This is an epic journey. 

2. The Dolphin Paradox by nekosmuse ( @nekosmuse​ )

Author Summary:

Having lost his job at the Perriman Grand, Todd takes a job selling vintage vinyl to unappreciative hipsters while trying to put his life back together. Dirk Gently is a somewhat regular customer. That is, until Dirk can fix the timeline and get Todd his memories back.

The Record Store AU that’s not a Record Store AU.

My gushing:

I’m still so grateful to have been a part of the fandom while this was in progress. Waiting for the updates, which were phenomenal every time, and watching the story unfold, was such a blast. Even if you’re wary of AUs, I recommend you give this a try. The slightly different version of Todd is so interesting and the love story is so very sweet. Not to mention the plot is riveting and clever. Fandom classic, must read.

3. you can break a thing, but you cannot always afterward guide it into the shape you want by cosmicocean, princessparadox ( @cosmicoceanfic​, @princessparadoxical​ )

Author Summary:

He does not think about home.
The memories feel like they burn holes in his mind.

AU where every Blackwing subject is a changeling, except for one: an abducted fae, who will answer to no name but Icarus.

My gushing:

Dirk is a fae! This fic unites the sci-fi sensibilities of the first season with magic and mythology in a way that now feels kind of prophetic, given the events and tone of the second season. It’s gorgeously, gorgeously written, with an intense soulmate vibe that is counterbalanced wonderfully by top notch banter. All the characters shine so brightly in this, but powerful yet vulnerable Dirk is my favourite part. Frigging epic.

4. objects in mirror may be closer than they appear by sharlook 

( @aceabed​ )

Author Summary:

You’re alone, with your arms wrapped tight around a pillow at god knows what time in the night, and there are tears running down your face because you can’t seem to stop thinking about it, not even in your dreams.

And then clutching your covers you get an idea.

(In which Dirk has nightmares about Blackwing, goes to Todd for help, and is really, really, really in love.)

My gushing:

This fic absolutely blindsided me, with the kind of writing that seems quiet and delicately wrought, but is simultaneously incredibly powerful and poignant. A wonderful portrayal of Dirk dealing with his traumas and anxieties, while being very in love with Todd. May make you cry.  I have so much love for this story, and so much admiration for the prose. Achingly beautiful.

5. split the secret up by piggy09

Author Summary:

He asks if Dirk can hear it and Dirk just laughs, the sound reassuringly human.

Well, not reassuringly. Reassuringly would mean Todd had to be reassured.

It’s just – it sounds human. Which is good. Because Dirk is human. Definitely.

My gushing:

Fic in which the Blackwing subjects are not quite human. Featuring eldritch!Dirk. This story is beautifully, meticulously written, and very evocative and unsettling. Yet Dirk is still somehow the sweetest eldritch abomination I’ve ever heard of.

6. Blood Is Thicker Than Water (But You Know What’s Even Thicker? Cookie Dough. Tastes Better, Too.) by DontOffendTheBees ( @dont-offend-the-bees​ )

Author Summary:

‘“Dirk… you know how to make cookies, right?”

The detective glanced between Todd and the ingredients, brow furrowing. “Actually, I was rather hoping you did…”

Todd sighed. He was gonna need another beer. “Let’s Google it.”’

In which Dirk and Todd ill-advisedly try to bake cheer-up cookies for Farah at 3am, and maybe confront some feelings in the process. Fluffy, very lightly angsty anonymous prompt fill, rated teen for a spot of language and mild drunkenness.

My gushing:

I found it very difficult to pick one of Helen’s fics, but in the end I went with this, the first instalment of the baking series, because it is a gift (although I also highly recommend her big bang fic). The dialogue is insanely adorable, it’s perfectly in character, and it exactly satisfies my craving for sweet, domestic fluff. Rendered all the more plausible by the beautiful friendship we’ve seen between Todd, Dirk, and Farah in season 2. :’)

7. Piranha in the Stream of Creation by sarkywoman ( @sarkywoman​ )

Author Summary:

“We got tuned into each other’s radio stations. Let’s say that. I got to walk through life ending others and she got the patterns. But it’s not all right. Sometimes we’re muddled. I’m never sure if I’m doing the right thing. ”

Role-Swap AU. Dirk is the holistic assassin, Bart the detective.

My gushing:

The summary above says it all, really. This is such an interesting premise, and I was so happy to see it so well-executed in this fic. Dirk and Bart are very different, and yet still somehow very in-character. A fascinating read from start to finish, and flips your initial ideas on their head in much the same way as the show. I love my holistic children in this story.

8. The Furthest City Light by nekosmuse ( @nekosmuse​ )

Author Summary:

Dirk Gently (as he’s taken to calling himself) has spent most of his life in Blackwing custody. In that time absolutely nothing of any interest has happened. Instead, a good deal of not-very-good or possibly even very-bad things have happened. These mostly involved a number of people in white coats poking and prodding him while making him guess at numbers. Outside of these unwanted visitors, the vast majority of Dirk’s time is spent alone. And then one day a technician leads Dirk into a room where a boy around his age sits behind a table, looking sullen and perhaps a little nervous. Dirk likes him immediately.

Alternate Meeting AU, in which 21 year old Dirk meets 20 year old Todd while still in Blackwing custody.

My gushing:

This story will pluck at your heartstrings, while simultaneously making you want to beat up Riggins even more than you probably already did. Young Dirk and Todd are so convincingly written here - just a tad more vulnerable, more raw than in the show, but still good for each other in so many ways. Dirk in particular will make you cry. Stunningly written as you would expect from neko.

9. A Pattern of Errors by coloursflyaway ( @coloursflyaway )

Author summary:

Dirk picks Todd up for a road trip he never planned to go on, with a red cabriolet and a bright smile and a thousand places to go.
And although Todd doesn’t know what he expected, he definitely gets more than he bargained for.

My gushing:

Beautiful multi-chapter road trip fic, featuring soft boys holding hands, emotional self-sabotage, and eventual declarations of love. Very calming, dreamy, and emotional.

10. Pray for the Thunder and the Rain by inkyfishes ( @inkyfishes)

Author Summary:

A Farah-centric slice of a possible future.

Everything has gone wrong. Everything is broken. Farah works through her anxiety whilst beginning their lives on the run. Her place in the universe is, as yet, undecided.

(Set immediately after the end of Season 1. Written before airing of Season 2.)

My gushing:

Farah Farah Farah!! A very convincing look at what might have happened post the clusterfuck ending of season 1. This fic is so beautiful and captures Farah’s voice WONDERFULLY, with some bonus Faranda just to make it perfect.

anonymous asked:

Romantic prinxiety Where Roman and Virgil don't get along but the theater needs another singer for there musical legally blonde ( if you haven't seen it before you can change it I just love that musical ) Virgil does it because he needs his grades up in theatre class. Virgil winds up playing Emmett and Roman plays Elle ( he's the only one who can hit the right notes and they don't care he's a boy ) they have to rehearse the kiss and turns out that they like it more than they thought they would

I love this prompt and it took a while to get enough time to sit down and write this, but I like how it turned out.  My school put on Legally Blonde last year, so I was familiar with it, but still needed a little refresher.  I also changed up the prompt a tad, but hope you enjoy!

Stick to the Script

Fandom: Sanders Sides
Pairing: Prinxiety, platonic Moxiety and Logince
Warnings: physical injury (nothing graphic)

Summary: Someone must’ve said Macbeth because they’re going to need a new Emmett.  Virgil is volunteered for the role and neither he nor Roman are too happy about it.

Tagged: @existental-crises @jordisama @here-to-vent @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @novagalaxy4real @thomas-must-get-to-sleep @emo-space-trash @evanisonfire @lollingtothemax @all-the-fand0mz

The stage was crazy this time of year, it wasn’t quite tech week yet, but the theater was bustling with students learning their lines and dance numbers. Virgil watched from behind a curtain on side stage as Roman and Logan performed their lines.

“Oh, and getting one of Stromwell’s daily quotes right is almost as important as acing the mid-term,” Logan recited.

“But you didn’t hear it from me.” Virgil finished under his breath.

“I still don’t get why you didn’t try out.” Virgil jumped and turned to face Patton, his heart racing. Damn, they really ought to get that kid a cowbell.

“Trust me, you don’t want to see me on stage,” Virgil said, crossing his arms. “I’m better back here as SM where there’s order and no surprises.”

As if on cue, there was a loud crash from the stage followed by a long, agonizing moan.

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anonymous asked:


Artist & Actor
Word count: 1690
“Tom sit still for goodness sakes, I swear you are worse than a dog”.

This was the 5th time you had scolded Tom in the last 30 minutes, he was severely sea sick so you were doing your best to add some color to his face.

“I’m sorry Y/N, I forget that you’re doing my makeup and well sometimes you just have to move”.

You stop what you’re doing to look at the only other person in the trailer with you and Tom. He’s a boy about your age with dark hair and soft looking pale skin. He had been staring at the two of you since you finally got Tom to sit in your chair. Tom didn’t understand why you had to “cake on” so much “stuff” as he put it.

“Tom, I’m almost done with your foundation then all I have to do is contour you”.

Toms eyes got big at the word he didn’t know, plus the fact that he had to sit in your chair for a bit longer. He was beginning to pout like a little boy.

“But Y/N, you’ve been doing this for hours”.

He said dramatically as your rolled your eyes and grabbed the bronzer.

“It’s been 35 minutes”. You said dryly now applying highlighter.

“Ok you’re done you can go”.

Tom quickly jumped out of the chair quickly running past you and slapping the brown haired boy on the butt as he passed.

Laughing the boy turned and faced you standing up a bit straighter, turning shy.

“Umm… you are Y/N, right?”

He must be one of yours, you were assigned to 3 people’s hair, makeup, and costumes. There were a total of 6 makeup, hair, and costume assistants on set, two of them being assigned to the main cast along with you and the other three all had to handle the extras.

“Uh yea, and what might your name be?”

Shyly smiling at you a small dimple popped in his cheek, making him impossibly cuter than before. You knew this was your job and you had to keep things professional, but it was getting difficult with how attractive the cast was.

“It’s Fionn, I think Um…I think I’m one of yours”.

Ok the whole cast was attractive, but this one, you already knew it would be hard to stay away from this one.

“Yes you are, along with Harry and Tom, but don’t let Tom scare you away from me, I’m not as bad as he made me out to be a few moments ago, he just really can’t sit still. It’s nice to meet you by the way Fionn”.

You held your hand out to shake his, the boy stretched his arm out to meet your hand, but his eyes were looking everywhere but at you.

“Well let’s get started shall we. Today I’m just going to apply some basic foundation and that’s all … looks like you have pretty good skin so you don’t need much”.

Fionn took a seat in your chair while you pulled out a new clean beauty blender and the foundation. You placed about a nickel size drop into your metal bowl and wet your beauty blender before dipping it in, then lightly bouncing the sponge off of his soft skin, making sure to get full coverage.
“Actually looks like you have Freckles, they fit well with your features, I like them, especially with your dark hair and hazel eyes”.

You didn’t know why you were telling him this, but it was like you couldn’t stop yourself. It was true though, and he was beautiful.

“You know you don’t talk nearly as much as Tom does, kinda refreshing actually, although you do have a nice voice, calm and deep”.

You suddenly stop applying the makeup. Had you really said that? It was true but he didn’t need to know how you felt about the voice you’ve only heard twice or his skin.

You can see his cheeks have turned bright red, bright enough to show through your work. Great, now you were both flustered. As the heat in your cheeks remained you quickly cleared your throat and started on his hair.

“So…um, I’ll just be adding a bit of Oil to your hair, to give it the effect that it hasn’t been washed in a while and then you’re done”.
Please, please, please don’t let him have soft hair too or you may melt into a puddle right there. Sliding your fingers through his dark hair you had to bite your tongue, because just as suspected, it was indeed soft, perfect actually.

His eyes met yours in the mirror,

“Already? But, it took you at least 45 minutes on Tom”.

Fionn looked back at the ground like he previously was. He didn’t mean to make it seem like he wanted to be in there with you longer than necessary, but he did.

“Well that’s because you’re good and sit in you’re seat while I work. You don’t wiggle the whole time and ask if I’m done yet like you’re 5”.

He chuckled, it was true though, Ton did do all of those things, Fionn should know he was standing there.

Fionn ended up in the makeup trailer 45 minutes early because he was mesmerized by the gorgeous girl he had seen on set previously that day. She had the most beautiful and unique look about her from her hair to her skin.

Fionn hadn’t even realized that you had finished his hair because he was so caught up in daydreaming. He was staring the whole time, but you were too busy to notice.

“Alright, you’re done for now but I will be with you, Harry, and Tom throughout the day for touch ups”.

Fionn smirked at you, fiddling with the shirt tail of his uniform.

“You mean I have to share you…can’t just have you all to myself?”

“No unfortunately not. Trust me, you’re the best out of the bunch, would much rather just have you”.

“Ay love, that’s not very nice”.

Harry entered the trailer with only half his uniform on and a goofy but charming smirk.

“Harry what happened to your two shirts and your jacket?”

“Ummm well, the first shirt you see I accidentally got it caught on something when I fell and it tore, and the second, I’m not sure really. Honestly I was just tired of wearing a shirt, took it off somewhere, but I don’t remember where”.

Rolling you’re eyes, you feel like you’re babysitting with the way Harry loses things, and Tim can’t sit still.

“Ok…ok, I’ll go find you some new shirts, but when I get back your butt had better be in that chair and ready for me to cover your tattoos and do your hair”.

“Yes ma’am”.

Harry saluted you as he sat down swiftly. Walking off to the back to retrieve him more clothes, you began to massage your temples, mumbling to yourself,

“God this is going to be a long month”.

But you couldn’t help to think that maybe Fionn would make it just a little more bearable.

“Ay mate I see you came back here to make a move after this morning. Let me guess, love at first sight”.

Fionn was just about done tying his shoes as Harry asked the question. Harry and Fionn were close, they’re always together on set, so of course Harry knows of the gorgeous girl from this morning.

“Shut up Harry she could hear you”.

Harry sat up a bit more in his chair, surprised that Fionn hadn’t made a move yet.

“C’mon mate, you have to do something, can’t just sit around all bloody month just staring. At least make conversation with her, compliment her or something”.

You arrived back in the room with two new shirts for Harry.

“Here, and try to be less clumsy and forgetful please, were running out of your size”.

Harry playfully rolled his eyes at you and kicked Fionn, signaling him to make a move.

“Uh so Y/N, how long have you been doing this?”

You were a bit stunned at the random question, but he asked it so sweetly and with his lovely voice that you didn’t question it.

Harry on the other hand, looked up at Fionn with disgust at his terrible attempt at flirting, laying his head in his hand.

“ This is actually my first movie, but I’ve been doing makeup since I was 13”.

“Me too! I…I mean this is my first movie too, not that I have been doing make up since I was 13… cause I haven't… done makeup, ever actually”.

You could see how flustered he was getting. God he was cute when he was flustered.

This whole conversation pained Harry even more than before, but he could tell you liked Fionn too. You were smiling and being too polite. You were flirting.

“Yea I knew what you meant”.

The two of you laughed while you began pulling out what you needed for Harry.

“Well I guess I better head to set, it was nice meeting you Y/N”.


After Fionn was gone Harry just kept staring at you like he knew something you didn’t.


“Oh nothing, just that you two are going to end up married with children and I get to say that I witnessed your relationship from the beginning”.

Was it that obvious that you liked him? It doesn’t matter because this is a job, and you already promised yourself you would keep this professional.

“Y/N, it’s ok, I know about your stupid professional rule, but I think love is worth breaking rules over”.

You were now working on covering his many tattoos, and also trying to avoid eye contact. Harry was right, but it didn’t help that he was your best friend and knew everything yuh were thinking.

“So what, it’s just a crush, I’ll get over it”.

“S’not just a crush love, he’s got feelings too, and im going to get the two of you together so I can add some more godchildren to my list”.



SPN Prompt Challenge | hunterangelkisses
January 2017 (Emotions)
Prompt: Patience
Pairing: Destiel
Word Count: 4,596
Tags: fluff, angst for like a second, brief and mild smut, alternate universe, strangers to friends to lovers, first kiss, 5+1 things, time skips, wedding, adoption



“C’mon, Charlie, I’ll race ya!”

Dean took off from his front porch as soon as his mom had placed a quick kiss to the top of his head, running through their yard toward the street corner as fast as he could. He was almost there when he turned to see if Charlie Bradbury, his next-door neighbor and best friend since they were toddlers, was catching up. She was one of the fastest runners in their grade and even with his head start, she wouldn’t have much trouble beating him. Charlie was still several feet behind him though, and Dean had just turned forward again when he hit something – hard.

Dean fell to the ground with a thump, wincing at the sharp pain in his backside. He heard his mom call to him, asking if he was okay, but he was distracted by what he’d run into – or rather, who. Because there, splayed out on the ground in front of him, was a dark-haired boy he’d never seen before, wiping grass off his hands and reaching over to pick up the book he’d apparently dropped.

“Who are you?” Dean asked curiously.

The boy turned his gaze to Dean, who was distracted for a second by his eyes – which were brilliantly, brightly blue. “I’m Castiel,” the boy said, climbing to his feet. He held out a hand to pull Dean up just as Charlie, Dean’s mom, and another woman Dean had never seen before reached them.

“Are you two all right?” Mary asked the boys, swiping a bit of dirt from Dean’s arm.

“We’re fine,” Dean said, picking up his backpack from where it had fallen behind him. “Sorry I ran into you,” he said to Castiel, who gave him an easy smile back.

“It’s okay,” he said. “I wasn’t looking anyway.”

“This is why you shouldn’t read while you walk, Castiel,” the other woman admonished, but her tone was more amused than anything.

“And you, Dean,” Mary said, “need to remember that not everything is a race.”

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Flowershop AU

part one. this was never meant to be more than two parts, but i merged a helnik au into and now we’re here….

For Inej working at the flower shop was a rest stop on the road to something much more important. She wasn’t sure where she was headed, but the desire to do something more—be more—compelled her. 

She had an innate ambition to travel, wandering as hereditary in her family as her brown eyes. The big city lights of Ketterdam lured her from her small town—much like her coworker, Jesper. They both migrated to the city for college, each taking on jobs that consumed their leisure time to make ends meet, ending up in the same overlooked shop. They were two young adults whose friendship flourished, not because of the routine of seeing each other, but due to the fact they both felt like tiny fish in a vast, dark ocean they never belonged in. Though unlike him, she had plans to get out of the complicated net Ketterdam ended up to be. She witnessed first hand how the city sucked people in and trap them; she couldn’t allow herself to be one of them. 

She didn’t feel rooted here. Or anywhere for that matter. She would wade through Ketterdam with the same vigor she used in her other travels. Some feared getting lost, but Inej enjoyed the mystery of it, the thrill of what parts of herself she could discover each time she traveled some place new.

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ready to fly

Summary: The Doctor’s been working on a secret project in his workshop for his and Rose’s second wedding anniversary. The TARDIS is in on the secret and the two of them can hardly wait until the appointed day to reveal the surprise.

Pairing: Tentoo/Rose

Rating: all ages || Word Count: 2694

AN: For @hanluvr who prompted this as part of my charity fic giveaway!! Thanks so much, darling!


“Rose?” The Doctor called, walking in the back door without looking up from the bit of machinery in his hands. “Have you seen the spanner? My favorite one? You know, the one with the blue handle and the-”

He cut off abruptly when the tool in question was thrust under his nose.

“This one?” Rose asked sweetly.

He looked up to grin at her. “Yup!”

He grabbed the spanner and stuck it in his back pocket before hooking his arm around Rose’s waist and pulling her in for a quick kiss.

“You’re going to get grease all over my work clothes,” Rose muttered against his lips, not bothering to pull away.

“Like you don’t get grease all over your work clothes at work,” he teased before kissing her once more and releasing her.

“S’not the point. Made it home without a stain today until now.”

The Doctor grinned at her as he rocked back on his heels, completely unrepentant.

Rose just rolled her eyes, the gesture doing nothing to hide the fond smile that stole over her face. “So, what are you working on out there?”

He glanced over his shoulder at the large shed in the back garden that was his workshop. “Oh, you know, this and that.”

“Is this or that your big surprise?” Rose asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

“That would be telling.”

She sighed with all the drama she could muster. “Course it is.”

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anonymous asked:

may i formally request a rivetra slow dancing fic? i just love playing out this scenario in my head and your writing is absolutely superb and i would love to see you bring this idea to life ❤❤

Y’all can formally request any kind of rivetra fic!! ❤❤❤

Last Dance

Word Count: 1,590

“You’re a little late, aren’t you?” a voice says when she steps onto her porch after Erd drops her off.

A normal person would probably scream if they saw guy dressed all in black waiting for them in the front of their house, but Petra knows that familiar slouching figure and she scrunches her nose at him instead. “I thought you said you would be at the dance,” she says. She pretends to be mad, but she isn’t, not really. He’s never been one to go to social events and the fact that he’s even here to say goodnight in person is surprising already.

“I did go,” he mumbles. “But then I left. There were too many damn people. It was making me claustrophobic.”

“You went?” she says, surprised. She can’t imagine him even walking into the room with the colored lights blazing and the music blaring. “In that outfit?”

“I said I would,” he says and turns his face away from her. He sounds grumpy like he usually is but the tips of his ears are turning a pretty shade of pink and she thinks that he’s cute when he’s embarrassed. “And there’s nothing wrong with my outfit anyway.”

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Why haven't we seen white diamond? THEORY

Let me start this off by saying I believe someone on tumblr had this theory, too, but I happen to come up with this before I ever saw their post (it was on an SU account on Instagram I believe) but this is my theory on things with some evidence

 Please remember that this is just a theory! None of it is canon, though it would be cool if it was. Now, let’s begin.

 One of the many questions on everyone’s mind right now is “where the hell is White Diamond?” She’s on the authority symbol, but she’s never been mentioned EVER. With that being said, we know little about her, so it’s easy to speculate different ideas about her since we know so little.

 But, I have a theory that brings a little bit of science into the equation. I’ll go over that last, though. First I’d like to bring up a small thing.

 Have you noticed how we haven’t seen a SINGLE gem with the white diamond symbol on? Nope, not one. And seeing as many people theorized how she basically rules Homeworld, wouldn’t it be weird how she has no court specifically to herself?

 Speaking of ruling homeworld, it’s time to bring in my first piece of evidence

 The murals

 In back to the moon, we first catch a glimpse at what the other diamonds might look like. Including White. We also see how many planets they’ve seemingly conquered with Pink being the least and White being the most.

 But! Let’s go back and count the planets. 

 White: 35, counting the planet she’s holding which must seemingly be homeworld

 Yellow: 23

 Blue: 8

 And Pink: 2

 White seemingly has the most, which makes sense if she’s supposedly the supreme ruler of homeworld. But let’s add up the lesser numbers, shall we?

 With Blue, Yellow, and Pink combined, it’s 33.

 But I’m going to go ahead and say those “halos” around the diamond’s heads aren’t really halos. I believe they might be the very FIRST planet that specific diamond conquered. So let’s count all of those, including White’s. 

 So, add plus one to each planet conquered individually and then add them all up again. 

 White: 36

 Pink, Blue, and Yellow: 36

 See where I’m going with this theory? If not, that’s okay. We still have a ways to go. Bringing in the next piece of evidence.

 The trial room.

 As the trial is about to begin, we see the corresponding lights for the diamonds present light up. But. There’s a gap in the middle of Blue and Yellow’s spots that’s tinted what color? A very dark Pink. So we could only assume that’s the spot where pink would be if she were still alive. Which is kind of like this. 

 The diamond authority symbol.

 All the colors are in the right place to represent each diamond in both the symbol and the court room. White at the very top, Blue and Yellow on the sides, and of course, Pink at the very bottom. 

Now I know what you’re thinking. “So? What’s that got to do with anything?” Well, my sassy reader, if you’ll so kindly notice how in the trial room, the White light is much, MUCH bigger than the rest of the spots.

 In fact, you could say that the rest of the spots together equal the white one.

 Referring back to the old Diamond authority symbol, White is at the very top. It has the same concept as the Court room spots if you think about it.

 Calling upon the science part of this thing next. But first, remember how technically a gem’s physical form is made up of light? Me too.

 Next piece of evidence. 

 The light chart. 

 I don’t think this one needs much explaining. 

 If you mix Magenta (pink), Cyan (blue), and Yellow in light, you get WHITE.

 And what is a gem’s physical form made of? LIGHT. PURE LIGHT.

 Also I’ll just bring in something that Garnet said, about fusion. She basically said that she was much more than Ruby and Sapphire combined. She was something, yes, entirely new. And that’s what made her so great. Basically, a fusion is the best parts of the components combined into one.

 So if you take Pink, Yellow, and Blue, combine them, you get literally the PERFECT being.

 Not White Diamond. But THE Diamond.

 This still doesn’t explain why she only has a gem on her forehead when Blue, Yellow, and Pink all have gems elsewhere. But I was thinking that maybe the rules were different for diamonds when it came to fusion.

 And besides, that sounds exactly like something the Crewniverse would do to throw us off. Anyways, I hope you liked this. I had to get this out or else I would burst. Feel free to elaborate on this or whatever, just give me credit for this part of the theory.


  • Naruto: Hi, Sasuke!
  • Sasuke: Hn?
  • Naruto: Does Sakura-chan breastfeed Sarada?
  • Sasuke: *chocked on drink* W-What!?
  • Naruto: Well, Hinata breastfeed Boruto. So I thought Sakura-chan does the same with Sarada.
  • Sasuke: ..... I don't know....
  • Naruto: EH!?!? How can you not know!?
  • Sasuke: Because I never saw Sakura do it in front of me...
  • *Sasuke got home with Naruto behind him*
  • Sasuke: ...... Why did you follow me home....
  • Naruto: Because I want to see Sakura-chan! You are hiding her from me again, aren't you?
  • Sasuke: ............ No. You already have a wife so leave mine alone.
  • Naruto: You really are hiding her!
  • *Naruto searches the house, ending with going to Sarada baby room*
  • Naruto: Sakura-chan Are You Here!
  • Sakura: Eh? Naruto?
  • Naruto froze up and Sasuke came up behind him to see what happen. He face turn red. Sakura was breastfeeding Sarada. She was practically half naked even without a bra. Sarada was still sucking her Mama breast milk with everything going on. Sasuke grab Naruto by the neck and kick him out of his house. He went back to the room but waited outside.
  • Sakura: Sasuke-kun? Is something the matter?
  • Sasuke: This the first time I saw you breastfeed....
  • Sakura: Really? Why did you kick Naruto out. I haven't seen him for a while?
  • Sasuke: Because.... You are practically naked right now. He saw you like this before me.....
  • Sakura: Sasuke-kun, are you jealous?
  • Sasuke: W-What!?
  • Sakura: There nothing to worry about. Hinata have a way bigger chest than me. Naruto gets to see that all the time. You must feel disappointed Sasuke-kun for having a wife with a small chest. *laughs*
  • Sasuke: You don't have a small chest.
  • Sasuke get up and enter the room. Sakura was finished with Sarada and put her back in her crib to sleep. Sasuke spun Sakura around and cup one of her breasts.
  • Sakura: E-eh? Sasuke-kun?? What are you doi-
  • Sasuke shuts her up by giving her a deep kiss. Sakura let out a small morn with Sasuke playing with her breasts. He started sucking them like their child did. Sakura knees start to get weak; collapsing in Sasuke arms.
  • Sasuke: Everything about you is perfect.
  • Sakura: *heavy breathing*
  • Sasuke: *he pick her up* I will show you.
  • Sakura: Sasuke-kun, where we going?
  • Sasuke: To the bedroom. Right now, you are mine. We might make another Uchiha while we are at it.
  • Sakura: Eh!?

anonymous asked:

hey! I'm so glad your back! could you do headcanons for shiro with a bi s/o? like how he reacts when she comes out? does he joke with her or treat her different? pride month just ended but I haven't seen anything like this. i'd really appreciate it! thanks, love! welcome back!

ahh yes of course! thank you for the warm welcome back! Im surprised to hear that there isnt any content for such a prompt honestly ;; but i will gladly fill it so!


Shiro fell back onto the couch with a huff, towel still around his neck from his post training rinse. Resting his arms on the back of the couch the familiar scent of soap wafted to you. These days everyone on the ship used the same kind, and you faintly remembered times where that wasn’t common.

“Good practice?” The sarcasm was met with a chuckle from the man you swore to love and cherish. You glanced his way, all too aware of the ‘unnerved’ setting your mind was on since you woke this morning. Your eyes could never settle on one thing too long, always with a different thing on your mind, none of which were clear. The business of it was dizzying.

“You’re done with the training room, right?” Pidge suddenly spoke from the doorway to the dining hall, dressed in her work out clothes already despite asking. Your head snapped to her direction, noticing how soft the skin on her legs looked. Hairless or not, she obviously moisturized, a habit you didn’t peg Pidge of having, honestly.

“Yep, it’s all yours.” Shiro answered, not bothering to open his eyes, taking every moment to relax when he could. Such times were precious few. Returning her wave half way, you followed her with your eyes as she left the way she came, leaving view around the corner. Had she done something different with her hair? She usually pined it up with hair clips when she was training, and today was no different, but it just seemed different when you watched it sway as she left.  The unkemptness of her hair was endearing, you admitted to yourself.

Such thoughts continued as you tried and failed to continue your reading, you felt a gentle heat come to your checks as you imagined how beautiful she must look while doing her agility training…

“Do you have any idea when you’re going to finish that book? Coran asked me earlier if you had yet. He seems pretty excited to share it with someone.” Shiro spoke up, his hand moving from the couch to your shoulder as he sat up properly, rolling his neck like it had a crick.

“I’m not sure. Some parts gotta re-read cus the translations aren’t perfect. I don’t think he’s even started translating the next for me anyway.” Giving up on it for now, you tossed it to the end table, resting your elbows on your knees, subsequently making Shiro’s hands fall to your back instead. You weren’t invested in the book, as much as you wanted to be, for the entertainment if not for Coran. Today just wasn’t your day… What would Shiro think if you were more open with your orientation? You felt guilty for doubting, He was an honorable, altruist kind of person. it wasn’t long since you two had gotten more intimate, before then though you and him had grown to trust each other. But by nature and timing, such things as who your heart beat fast for never came up.

“Hey,” Shiro matched your posture, a pinch of concern in his gaze. Whatever he’d said before, you missed it, “You alright?” He always caught on fast.

“Yeah yeah I’m fine,” You said to assure him, and yourself, “Just thinking about stuff.”

“That much was obvious, wanna talk about it?” The way his knee intentionally nudged yours, as if asking if closeness was okay right now, brought the first smile of the day to your lips.

Deciding if you should be honest was harder than expected, especially when pressed. All you could do now was hope.

“I’m not sure if it’s something you’ll like hearing.” you emotionally prepared yourself, but resisted putting your guard up and potentially making things worse.

“Shiro, I enjoy the company of both men and women.” You spoke flatly, like this conversation were procedure, and in a sense, it was. You dared to make eye contact, and part of you was unsatisfied with how he simply blinked back at you, nothing more or less.

“Thank you for telling me.” His hands were tough and calloused, you noted, as they took yours. He always offered a hand to you, in this moment, it was him offering a kind distraction. During your friendship, and an unlikely situation, he learned a few ways that he could help you when you were feeling off kilter, and how to know when those times were. One of the more reliable ways was to just offer you his hand to hold, to examine, to just mess with; a distraction.

You accepted it wordlessly, staring at it blankly as you traced the lines of his palm, your brain being wracked with thoughts, worries and questions. Was that it? You were grateful for it not becoming a big dramatic moment, but still, you felt dissatisfied somehow.

“I’ve suspected for a long time ya know, it never felt like the right time to ask, even after… you know.” He shrugged and skootched closer, wrapping his other arm around your shoulders causing the top of your head to lean against his chest. If you focused, you could hear his steady heartbeat, and how it contrasted yours. When you didn’t respond, Shiro continued.

“I hope you don’t mind me saying, but I’m pretty sure the others know too. We sorta live together, these things can’t be helped. I can promise you, that I, nor anyone else, give a damn.” His frankness made you chuckle, instantly raising your spirits a tad. In tandem, you wrapped your arms around his broad chest, fingers linking behind his back to tighten the embrace. You felt him inhale with you as you hid your smile in his chest.

You no longer felt like talking, so you simply hoped your gratitude could be conveyed through touch. Almost as soon as you thought this, he kissed your hair, and began scratching your back gently, letting you hold him for however long you wanted. You thanked every higher being you could think of for this man, and thanked them again for letting you love and be loved.

ravencromwell  asked:

For the headcanon alphabet thing, Seraphina and Percival and affection in public. (Haven't seen you write much with these two being the most awesome of friends for a while, and thought friendship might be a nice subversion of expectations for this prompt.)

Thank you so much for the ask! You’re right, we need more of these two being lovalbe bastards together. Here we go:

I imagine both Percival and Seraphina as very private, so there won’t normally be a lot of public displays of affection. They’re both charming and attractive, and have probably known how to use their assets since they were in school: charm and sex appeal are weapons to hone and learn to wield to their maximum efficiency – and not doing it would be an offence to their ambition. But for this exact reason they have a hard time letting go and showing affection in public: they prefer reserving it to private places and discrete moments, and it still makes them feel like they’ve torn their skin off their flesh – utterly exposed.

They find ways around their own fears and their paranoia, though. I can see them spending hours in each other’s dormitory room in Ilvermorny, or lazing around in the common rooms, Percival studying History of Magic with his head on Phina’s lap and a cup of coffee steaming by his side and Seraphina practicing spell over their heads, lazy swirls of magic gleaming in the sun. I also headcanon they’ve been each other’s first kiss, but that it never developed in anything truly romantic: they work way better as thick-as-thieves frenemies keeping each other on their toes (which is something they both appreciate a lot in a world where so many things come way too easily to them).

As they grow up, I feel like the fact of working together and in positions of increasing importance force them to grow less casual in the way they interact. They still find way to care for each other, like when Seraphina comes down to the Auror Department to boss Percival into going home to sleep – or at least to ask Tina to fetch a blanket to cover his snoring form in his office’s armchair and preventing him from catching his death – or Percival drops by with hot white cocoa when he knows Phina just got out of particularly shitty meetings. Sometimes he offers to chaperon her to the inevitable black-tie galas a President has to attend, and they spend the night drinking champagne and dancing as skillfully as humanly possible, glowing so bright in his pressed black tuxedo and her shimmering silver gowns.

Still, times are changing. News of Grindelwald, of dark wizards and goose-bums-worthy pamphlets promising death and ruin start circulating in the international Auror network, and Phina and Percival find themselves buried in paperwork. She works seven days a week, meeting ambassadors, arguing with the English Ministry emissaries, sleeping a couple of hours a night. They get a glimpse of each other now and then, waving weakly across the room, but there’s simply not the time.

When Percival gets kidnapped and replaced, they have grown distant enough for Phina not to notice. The last time she talks with the real Percival is late at night, his silhouette pitch black against the corridor at his back, his face tired as he asks her if she wants a coffee too. That stupid memory will haunt her for months afterwards, as they find him, as the Healers try to patch him back together. She’ll think of it when she’ll sit in front of her mirror, cry her eyes out, and cut her long white hair. She looks younger, with her hair at her chin – young and unexperienced, like Percival in his hospital bed, all mussed hair and jutting collarbones. We’ll start back together, she thinks, we’ll build back together. It’s perfect. It’s fitting.

When she asks him if he’s angry at her, Percival gives a shrug. “We’re ambitious bastards, Phina,” he says, voice still rough, rusty from lack of use. “We had work to do. We don’t like to show weakness. You had… no way of knowing it wasn’t me playing my part. It’s okay. It’s just how we work.”

The words hit her like a slap. Seraphina Picquery has never cared much for what people thought of her – for the ones who envied her, the one who despised her, the one who called her a bitch a monkey a slut a villain – but this is not people. This is Percival, the obnoxious little brat who pulled her braids and got a punch on the nose for his efforts, her best friend, her right hand – her Percival. And she’s abandoned him.

Phina swore it will not happen again.

She keeps her promise. Percival is right: they are a pair of competitive, control-freak hardasses, and utterly unapologetic about it, but this doesn’t mean they can’t show they care for each other. And if Aurors gasp when the President leans in and squeeze their Director’s hand after a particularly hard day, so be it. If they whisper and jab at each other when she ruffles his hair at lunch or kiss his forehead, or on the memorable occasion an overjoyed Percival Graves scooped her up and whirled her around when his brother had his third child, let them. Seraphina Picquery doesn’t care. There’s just one person in this place whose opinion she cares about.

And that’s the man reading reports at his desk, bruises healing on his face – and finally smiling at her.

make yourself some friends or you’ll be lonely

Prompt from @secretlystephaniebrown -  Diner AU: Tex and York being asshole friends who love each other

So there’s not really any of the actual ‘diner’ part in this, but it’s set in the same au as ‘pour some sugar on me’ and ‘cherry bomb’. 

Also on ao3 here

Warnings: Implied abuse

Rating: T

Pairings: Background Yorkalina, background Chex, platonic York & Tex

It starts on a playground.

“Get off him, you big dummy!”

The girl is half the size of the boy pinning York to the bark chips, but that doesn’t stop her from sending him running off crying, hand pressed to his bleeding nose. She’s got a grin with a missing front tooth and a hand covered in dirt and bandaids that she sticks in his face to pull him up.

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anonymous asked:

Hi can you please rec all the soulmate au's you know of ?? Thank you loads!!!

If I’m Lucky by thespacesbetweenus

Harry and Nick are on break from uni and decide to take a road trip to search for their soulmates. Harry is completely gutted when just a few days into the trip Nick finds his soulmate (bonus points if it’s Louis) but he begrudgingly continues on. Late one night in a pub he hears Niall, drunk and loud and he knows immediately - but rather than being excited he’s terrified Niall won’t like him so he spends the whole evening dodging around the bar to get away from Niall. Finally they connect and it’s of course, perfect!

Time Has Brought Your Heart to Me by issueswithsocializing

Harry meets Niall, and feels a connection, so he gets to know him just a bit more.

Or the one where Harry and Niall are soulmates.

When I Close My Eyes, All the Stars Align by FallingLikeThis (Zayniam)

Harry Styles looks out the windowed wall of his penthouse apartment, staring down at the teeming masses that bring life to the streets below. Any one of the people down there could be his soulmate. Or, who knows, his soulmate could be halfway around the world. Or dead already. There’s no way to know, really, since Harry’s affliction is so rare. He bears the soulmate mark. It occurs in maybe one in a million people. He’s one of the chosen few who has one, single person that’s meant for them. Everyone else has the freewill to love whoever they want but if Harry ever hopes to find true love, he’ll have to go through a damn scavenger hunt to get it. And as if that wasn’t enough, he has a time limit.

Or a Beauty and the Beast Au in which Harry’s only beastly qualities are his hair and his bad attitude and Niall arrives to spy on him for his sister but ends up staying for so much more.

We’ll be a dream by jstrattford

“But do you think so? Do you think you’ve found your soulmate?” Harry’s voice breaks through the impeding silence that it takes Niall a moment to realize that he’s asking him a question.


“I mean, do you think you’ll find them? You know, since you seem to think that it’s real,” he says casually. It’s meant to be in a teasing nature but there’s a slight strain in Harry’s voice, trying to keep himself steady.

Or: the one about Niall finding his soulmate

Elapse by lostinyou

Harry had been around many couples and the sight of seeing them brings him down. Harry felt so lonely and thought to himself when will he find someone to love. When Harry suddenly feels ill and bruises begin to appear Harry had no idea what it was until he finds out who on New Year’s. Experience Harrys life to find out what happens to him. Will he find love he been hoping for?

Coffee is the scent of love by woodlazo

AU WHERE niall is tryna study but someone keeps coming up to his dorm room to stand outside his door and run back one second later so this time he is prepared to catch this person cause he’s unable to study. so he’s standing by the door when this person comes up to his door for the fifth time and as soon as niall opens the door his forehead is met with a slap of sticky note to his head and the boy in front of him is terrified and niall is annoyed but a s soon as nialls reaches to take the note off his head this boy immediately slaps his hand down and tears away the note and rips it while mumbling it’s nothing really important and now niall really want to know cause holy hell this boy is hot so he kinda just jokingly threatens him and this tall guy pulls a pained expression but introduces himself as harry and NO not harold but just harry. so now harry nervously admits that he’s seen niall in the record shop picking out harry’s favourite music and then just the other day harry again spotted niall in the library picking out a work by an author he worships and then the day before he spotted niall getting into his building and YES harry is convinced that they are soulmates and what the fuck niall realises he is in love.

anonymous asked:

UR WRITING IS SO GOOD IM CRYING u should do one where you haven't seen CALUM in like four months and when you do you're in his shared apartment w ash for like a week straight so no one has heard from you guys and the fans are getting worried until one day ashton is doing a twitcam or something and Ashton thinks you guys are sleeping so he goes to wake you up and he ((and the fans)) find you guys with his head between your thighs or something along those lines pls I will die

ok let me just tell you i got this request and i was so fired up to do it and today i found it at the bottom of my inbox and im happy i did bc i like this one (and pls i will die right along with u)

Having a boyfriend who’s a member of a famous band was a challenge. Not just for you, but for him as well. He’s home after six months for a week or two and then he leaves again. It’s rare you two ever got to spend any time together, which is why you always either flew to wherever he was or had him come to you.

Of course, the arrangement was far from perfect. You and Calum had wanted to move in together, but the lease on the apartment he shared with his bandmate, Ashton, wasn’t up. He was stuck on the other side of town from you with no way out. Things got incredibly awkward when you were over and Ashton was still home. It was even worse when you and his on-again-off-again girlfriend Bryana were both over. You could tell the four of you were all struggling with the lack of privacy.

“Alright, Ashton’s doing a twitcam and he thinks I’m taking care of you because you’re sick.” Calum came into the room, slamming the door behind him. He quickly removed his shirt as he approached.

“You should probably make an appearance on that. Your fans must be worried.” You sat up “I can wait. Neither of us have posted anything since you got home. It’s been a week.”

“So what? I’m spending time with my girl.” He shrugged. Sighing, he threw himself onto the bed. “C’mere, baby, I wanna kiss you.”

“We’ve been doing this for a week.” You groaned, but still leaned over to peck his lips “Not that I’m complaining, we just need…”

“To do more, I got you.” He nodded eagerly “You know, we’ve only had that quickie while Ash was out at his car since I’ve been home. I miss you.”

“I miss you, too, Calum, but we can’t.” You shook your head “Not with Ashton here. You know that boy can’t mind his own business for shit, and you know we’re not quiet.”

“I’ll try if you try.” He put a hand over yours, interlacing your fingers. You have him a sympathetic smile.

“Cal, I still don’t know if that’s a good idea.” You sighed. He let out a loan groan of discontent and threw his body on top of yours. “What are you doing? I told you no.”

“I can tell you want it.” He teased “Come on. Please, Y/N, I promise I’ll be as quick as I can and I’ll try not to make any noise. I just really, really need you right now.”

His bulge rested against your thigh, moving slowly as he squirmed in discomfort. You sighed, looking up at the pouting boy hovering above you.

“I can take care of that, you know. That would be quick.” You offered. He shook his head, trailing his fingers down your jawline.

“Please? I just wanna make love to you. I’ve been away for so long and-“ He cut himself off with a sigh “I’ve been horny for the past four months. Please let me show you how much I missed you.”

“We have to be quiet, though.” You told him, easing him off of you. He watched carefully as you slid your sleep shorts off. “And if we hear Ashton, you stop immediately.”

“Okay,” He nodded eagerly, sitting up “Are those your only requests?”

“Don’t take your time, okay? Save that for another time.” You straddled him. He gulped, wrapping his arms around your torso. “I really missed you, y’know.”

“Oh, baby, I think I know.” He smirked, placing a delicate kiss on your lips “I missed you, too. You need to visit me more on tour. I can’t go four months without my baby again.”

“You know I’m always up for it, it’s just a matter of you inviting me.” You reminded him. He shrugged, rubbing his hands down your side. “I told you to be quick. This isn’t quick.”

“I’m getting there,” He mumbled, attaching his lips to yours. His hands settled themselves on your hips, guiding you against his thigh. A content sigh passed his lips. “Mm, it’s so good to be home. Missed you so much.”

“Babe, c’mon.” You groaned “You said you’d be quick.”

“You anxious or something?” He raised an eyebrow, his smirk only growing “Desperate for me, aren’t you?”

“Maybe a little.” You admitted. He shook his head, placing a quick kiss to your lips. Calum hopped off the bed, kneeling at the foot of it.

“C’mere, beautiful.” He patted the mattress in front of him. You scooted forward as much as you could, legs dangling off the side of the bed. He smirked, hooking his fingers on the waistband of your panties. “Don’t think we’ll be needing these.” He mumbled to himself before removing the lace. His hands gripped your thighs as he moved you forward.

“Cal,” You whined, able to feel his breath on your sex. He looked up at you innocently as he licked a stripe down your folds. You, determined not to give him the reaction he wanted, kept your eyes locked on his and stroked his dark curls.

“You like that?” He raised an eyebrow. You pretended to consider this for a moment before you shrugged.

“I don’t mind it.” You twirled a lock of hair around your finger “And I wouldn’t mind if you kept doing it.”

“Good.” He smirked, diving back between your thighs. His tongue ravished the folds, producing crude slurping noises. You pushed his head closer to your body.  

“Calum,” You groaned, throwing your head back. He gripped your thighs tighter, dipping his tongue into a hole he knew all too well. You gasped as his tongue swirled inside you. He pulled back with a smirk, licking his lipsm

“So tight, baby.” He murmured, running his thumb down your slit “Gonna need to loosen you up before I can fuck you, hm? I bet you’d like that.”

“I would.” You breathed. He nodded absentmindedly, lazily rubbing circles into your clit.

“Normally I’d make you beg for it, but today…” He looked up at you through his lashes. The corner of his mouth twitched upwards. “I think I can make an exception.”

“You promised me you’d be quick.” You reminded him

“I know what I said.” He chuckled “Doesn’t mean I can’t take my time making you feel good.”

“Actually, I think it means exa- oh, fuck.” He cut your protests off, slipping his thumb into you. Calum was the type who always liked to get his way, and the bedroom was no different than anywhere else. If he didn’t want a quick round, then there wasn’t going to be one

“That’s what I thought.” He said, looking more than pleased with himself. His fingernails left red marks on your thighs as he guided you against his face. After what you felt was much too long, his lips found their way back to your swollen clit. He hummed as he sucked against the folds of skin. His tongue was heaven compared to the vibrator you’d been making do with.

In the other room, Ashton was happily chatting away to an audience of 600,000 on Periscope. That was the thing about him; if no one was available for him to talk to, he got bored very easily. Luckily for him, the fans were always there to listen.

“Keep sending in questions, guys.” He said to the camera, scrolling through Twitter on his laptop “Yes, we’re really enjoying our break, but we also can’t wait to get back out on the road. I miss seeing you all every night.”

He continued scrolling through his mentions, occasionally stopping to answer a question or two. Most of the comments consisted of either dirty requests, pleas for follows and people asking if Calum was okay. Caught up in the happiness of being back with you, the Maori boy hadn’t posted anything in a week. As far as the fans knew, he was dead.

“A lot of you seem concerned about Cal. I promise you he’s okay, he’s just with Y/N. Actually…” He looked down the hallway at Calum’s closed door “They’re home right now. I should ask him to come say hi.”

The comments began flooding with positive responses, all urging Ashton to put his roommate on camera. He ran a hand through his messy, curly hair before standing up.

“Alright, they said they were gonna go take a nap a long time ago, so they should be awake.” He switched to the back camera. Slowly, he turned the doorknob to Calum’s room. “Let’s see what they’re up to.”

He opened the door, camera pointed straight in front of him. Before he could process what he was doing, Calum eating you out was broadcast globally to over half a million people. The brunette between your thighs looked back at his roommate.

“Do you know how to knock?” He scoffed “Wait, what the hell, are you filming us?”

“I didn’t know-“ Ashton stuttered, dropping his phone as he stumbled backwards

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Calum was pissed. You didn’t blame him, as you would be the same way, but you were more embarrassed about being exposed.

“I swear I didn’t know what was going on.” Ashton defended himself. Calum walked towards uim, driving him further out of the room.

“Sure you didn’t.” He scoffed. The tanned boy bent down, retrieving the phone. “This is just great, Ashton. It’s fucking live. Everyone’s already seen it.”

“I am so sorry.” Ashton rambled

“Sorry’s not gonna erase the fact that you basically just leaked a sex tape.” Calum rolled his eyes. He threw the phone at its owner. “Get out. I don’t want to be a part of your livestream, and I’m sure my girl doesn’t, either.”

Your heart couldn’t help but flutter at the possessiveness of his voice. Though you couldn’t see it, you could tell his jaw was clenched. You sat up in his bed, burrowing under his sheets. Nobody needed to tell you that you weren’t getting any farther with him than you already had.

By now, Ashton had already scurried back into the living room, trying to figure out how to recover. Calum shut the door behind him, leaning against the door jamb. He ran a hand through his tousled hair.

“I’m sorry about that, babe.” He sighed, taking a tentative step towards you. You patted the side of the bed you’d left open for him.

“Shit happens.” You assured him

“It’s not okay, though.” He groaned, dropping himself on the bed next to you “I haven’t been able to spend time with you since I’ve gotten back. I just wanted a couple minutes to ourselves, y’know?”

“We’ll find time eventually.” You put a hand on his arm. He looked up at you through his lashes, waiting for you to go on. “He’ll probably go running to Bryana after that incident.”

“Right,” He bit down on his lip, looking as if he were concentrating hard on something. You traced random shapes into his bare skin. “So, just as confirmation, I’m not getting any tonight, am I?”

“Probably not.” You laughed. He shook his head, letting out a loud, over-exaggerated huff.

“Dammit, Ashton.”

anonymous asked:

You asked for prompts, and this one has been kicking around in my head for a while but I haven't gotten around to writing it. Del, Ohm, Bryce and Luke meeting as a group in real life for the first time at an amusement park :$ if they ever do meet I could easily see it being somewhere like that lol

Title: Amusement

Pairing: ok listen, I tried to keep pairings out of it, but them Brohm just kinda snuck in there and now it’s cemented in the fic…

Word Count: 2288

Rating: T

A/N: Ayyyy this took me way too long and I still haven’t started the other two prompts/requests I have:’) oh well. I know this isn’t great, but I tried to make it somewhat decent, so yeah, I apologize for the potato writing that has taken over my fics recently.



“It’s been an hour already. Where the fuck is he?”

Jonathan placed a hand on his friend’s shoulder, smiling lightly and shrugging, silently urging Luke to calm down.

“Maybe he got lost, Luke. I mean, we know this place like we know each other, but he’s never been here before.”

Luke brushed him off, hands on his hips as he stared at the gates, the laughter and screams drowned out by his annoyance.

“Yeah, well neither has Bryce, but he’s here on time.”

Bryce looked up from his phone, oblivious to the conversation until his name was mentioned.

He had been texting Ryan just five minutes ago, and the brunette had told him he was almost there, just stuck in traffic.

But, he forgot to tell the other two, which was probably why Luke was rolling his eyes out of annoyance and boredom.

He cleared his throat, looking up from his place on the bench and tapping Jon on his waist, who was standing with Luke.

“What’s up, Bryce?”

Bryce held up his phone with the text messages, making sure the older ones were hidden, no way he was sharing those ones, they were private.

“He’s stuck in traffic, there was a bad accident a couple cars ahead of him.”

Luke glanced at the screen before nodding, sighing as he sat himself down on the bench next to Bryce.

Bryce scooted over a little bit to give the bearded man room, and Luke smiled lightly in thanks.

Jonathon stayed standing, eyes scanning the crowd of people coming in, but realizing he didn’t have much to go off of.

Ryan gave them a picture, claiming he wanted them all to be at least a little bit surprised, and that was the reason he didn’t just use his webcam.

Jonathan knew he was looking for a brunette with hazel eyes and a well trimmed beard, but nothing else. He knew Ryan was slightly taller than him, but everything else was undetermined.

Of course, he could always ask Bryce, because they all knew he had seen him a couple times, for things better left unmentioned at the moment.

He looked down at the blonde, who was smiling at his phone while he read a message. Jonathon was tempted to read it, but he knew it was probably from Ryan, and didn’t want to intrude on their conversation.

That, and he didn’t really want to see whatever flirty text Ryan had sent Bryce this time.

The last time he peeked at Bryce’s phone, it had had to do with rabbits and heart eyes, and he was not about to get sucked up into that again.

It was no secret that the two men liked each other, but Bryce was hesitant to Ryan’s advances, the reason being that his family wasn’t too open towards Bryce dating guys.

Jonathon only knew this after a drunk night at Evan’s house with Bryce and Luke, (their designated driver for the evening) after Bryce had stumbled across the room stating how much he liked Ryan and that it sucked that his mom and dad were such homophobic hard asses.

He has also told them that he couldn’t wait to see Ryan the next week because he was supposed to come down to Georgia to see him and his cats.

Jonathan smiled at the old memory, shaking his head as he continued to scan the crowd for their friend.

He narrowed his eyes as he looked, but his searches came up empty, and he soon found himself distracted by thoughts.

His mind wandered to the planning period for this trip, which had been set up fora few weeks, maybe even a month, now that he thought about it.

Luke had brought it up while Jon was over at his house, asking if he thought it was a good idea.

Of course, the first thing that crossed Jon’s mind was showing his face to his two friends.

He had been wanting to show them for a while, and this trip would give him the perfect opportunity.

So naturally, he agreed, telling Luke that it was a great idea and that he would ask the other two tomorrow.

Fast forward to about a month later and here they were.

A sudden voice and Jonathan was brought out of his thoughts, excitement peaking and eyes searching for a body to accompany the words.

“Bryce, Jonathan, Luke, over here!!”

Jon turned his head to the left, noticing the waving figure with his gray t-shirt and black jeans, a smile on his face, pushing up his glasses while smiling widely.

Jonathan couldn’t help the smile that spread over his own features as he looked at the man, Ryan, waving at them.

Bryce was the first to leap up and run over, enveloping Ryan in a hug and spinning him around a bit, unaware of the people around them making weird faces at the display of affection.

Ryan laughed and held onto the taller male as he was spun around, hands gripping the back of Bryce’s shirt haphazardly.

Bryce was nuzzling his head in the crook of Ryan’s neck as he hugged him, and Jon smiled, finding the reaction incredibly cute.

He also found his legs carrying him to see one of his best friends, his own arms outstretched as he took in his friend’s appearance.

Ryan pushed Bryce back apologetically, welcoming the teddy lover into his arms, and Jonathan laughed against him, pulling away quickly, voice smooth and warm.

“Hey, man! Luke was about to kick your ass if you took any longer.”

“Yeah, i know. He texted me about eight times telling me to move my ass.”

Ryan looked past Jonathan’s shoulder to see the man himself, an eyebrow raised, arms crossed over his chest.

The brunette smiled sheepishly at Jonathan’s best friend, and he saw the cracking of Luke’s angry facade, replaced with a roll of his eyes and a small smile.

Jonathan pulled fully away from Ryan, dark locks slipping in front of his eyes, he subconsciously played with his lip ring as he looked behind him to the many rides and people crowding the area.

Luke extended his hand out to Ryan, who gladly took it, and pulled the masked gamer forward into one of those bro hugs he often gave Jonathan.

“About time, dickhead.”

Ryan smiled, pulling back and taking note of the way Bryce kept glancing at him with a contagious smile that left him wanting to catch more glimpses of the blonde.

“Sorry I took so long, Luke. Traffic was shit.”

Jonathan interrupted his glimpses though, when he held his arms out by his sides and motioned to the fun filled mass of activities and rides behind him.

“Enough meaningless greetings, guys. I wanna ride some fucking rides!”

The blue clad male smiled excitedly as he looked back at the roller coasters and haunted houses, bumper cars and ferris wheels, eyes lighting up at the rides that went upside down and looped around, screams and laughs emanating from what some would call death traps.

Jonathan glanced over at Bryce, who was scanning the area with sky blue eyes, checking out each ride with curiosity.

Bryce stared up at what was called the Mind Eraser, eyes widening and stomach dropping as he followed the roller coaster’s movement with his fearful gaze.

The seats were dangling from the top of the ride, looking like the kind in cars, so your feet were hanging and you were essentially upside down, compared to a normal roller coaster.

There were loops and rough turns, and to top it all off, it was right above a lake, which didn’t ease Bryce’s worried thoughts one bit.

He noticed Ryan looking at him with a smile and a laugh, and he narrowed his eyes, but ignored him, hoping and praying that none of the guys wanted to ride the terrifying contraption.

But, it just so happened that the Mind Eraser was number one on Jonathon’s list.

Bryce stared at Jonathan in disbelief as he babbled on about how they were all going on that ride first and that he would ride with Luke and Ryan would ride with Bryce.

He held up his hands in protest, glancing from the ride to Jonathan, shaking his head lightly at the idea.

“No. no way, that thing looks horrible.”

“Come on, Bryce. Don’t be such a bitch.” Luke chimed in, smiling, teasing the youngest male.

“Nuh uh. You guys can ride it, but I’m not going anywhere near that death trap.”

Jonathan huffed, rolling his eyes and looking to Ryan, who was smiling in amusement at Bryce’s obvious fear.

“If you don’t go, Ryan won’t have anyone to sit with.”

“Yeah, Bryce. Who am I gonna sit next to if you’re not there?”

Bryce crossed his arms over his chest, looking slightly annoyed, but mostly scared.

“You can sit with a stranger, I’m sure they’d love to hear you scream, Ryan.”

Ryan raised a brow at this, glancing at Luke and Jonathan, who already knew where this was headed, but didn’t try to stop the brunette from returning back with a smile and a quip.

“You know I only scream for you, Brycey.”

The look on Bryce’s face was priceless, and both Jonathan and Luke wished they had taken a picture of the blonde’s reaction.

He was blushing profusely, eyes wide, sputtering nonsense, trying to rebound from his current flustered state, but unable to make a comeback.

Ryan just chuckled deeply, standing a bit closer to Bryce, hand brushing against the taller male’s arm without much thought, but Jonathan noticed, and he stared, smiling lightly at the small display.

Ryan looked up at Bryce, who was trying to calm the blush that had truly taken over his face, and made a pleading face, accompanied with his hands folded together and his attractive voice that Bryce had a hard time saying no to.

“Please, Bryce? After, we can do whatever you want,” he paused, waggling his brows and smiling mischievously, “and I mean anything.”

Bryce pushed him lightly, sighing and rolling his eyes, unable to let the shorter male down. He pinched the bridge of his nose and looked back up at the ride before them, voice a little quiet compared to usual.

The others looked at him expectantly, Jonathan shifting his weight in between his feet, Luke tapping his finger against a gate, and Ryan biting his lip in anticipation.

“Anything I want?”

“Anything, Brycey.”


Jonathan made a sound of happiness, pulling Bryce along into the line before he could change his mind.

Luke and Ryan followed, Ryan grinning slightly at the look on Bryce’s face as he watched the ride, Luke glancing at the brunette next to him, smiling at the obvious affection.

He wondered when the two were gonna make out, because really, the time was right. It was taking a bit too long, in his opinion.

For months these two had talked about each other and flirted, standing up for one another against assholes, always concerned about the other if they weren’t playing with them.

All they ever did was talk to each other, and anyone who knew them knew that they were meant for each other.

But they were both too scared to make a move, obviously, since after Ryan’s Georgia visit, Bryce was still single.

To be honest, it was getting annoying, at least to Luke.

He and Jon had been talking for weeks about planning to get them together, but they never had the time or resources to do so.

But now? Now they were at a place perfect for spur of the moment kisses and starts of relationships.

And Luke had a plan.

He pulled out his phone, texting Jonathan a quick, “hey, set these 2 up w/ me?” And received a just as quick answer.

“dude fuck yea”

But, their plan didn’t even get past the texts, because Ryan was looking over Luke’s shoulder while he typed, and his immediate reaction was to narrow his eyes and push Luke none too lightly, giving him a warning look, the one he often gave Buddy when the dog was misbehaving.

Luke shrugged, smiling and pointing at Bryce, then his finger was against Ryan’s chest, eyebrows raised as at the silent gesture of ‘You and him are getting together’.

Ryan sighed, shaking his head and mouthing a silent “don’t push this on him” to Luke, which he was sure the bearded man could read.

But Luke waggled his brows and let Jon lead them up to the ride, pushing Ryan up so he was next to Bryce, the two getting on the ride first.

Jon smiled at them as they were strapped in, and for a split second he felt bad about forcing the blond on the ride, because his eyes went wide and his knuckles white from gripping the bars so hard.

But then Ryan was speaking to him and Bryce was suddenly laughing, any past resemblance of fear gone as soon as Ryan opened his mouth.

Jon smiled, glad that Ryan could do that. Make Bryce forget his fear and enjoy himself.

It was agonizing, watching the two from afar, who obviously felt something for each other but refused to acknowledge it.

It was painful seeing the two run circles around each other, never fully able to catch up and comprehend the fact that they were meant to be.

Jonathan couldn’t really grasp the idea that Ryan was really there, so he understood, sort of.

It felt like another video game, but this time it was real and he was really hanging out with them and enjoying life.

And he couldn’t wait to do it again and again.


It’s the only thing that would surprise you more than you surprised me tonight.

And it was. It was a surprise. Yuuri’s lips tingle with it, even after the excitement of the competition has faded and the celebratory drinks are all downed and everyone else has retreated for a long-awaited and well-earned bout of sleep. Yuuri sits in his hotel room and runs his fingers over his mouth, pursing his lips experimentally against his finger pads.

It doesn’t feel like Victor’s lips felt on his. It couldn’t possibly. Nothing could ever feel like that.

Yuuri’s shaky, listless. Not even remembering the kiss. Just remembering Victor’s smile afterward, that feeling of the ice cold beneath his head but Victor beaming down on him like sunshine. It was perfect, to be suspended between two extremes of temperature, the heady combination of sweaty from the routine and chilly from the ice, and then warm, endlessly warm from Victor’s expression and his embrace. 

He’s cold now from the lack of it. The memory’s fading faster than he has strength to keep it fresh. He’s not satisfied. He’s not done.

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