if you have any pictures of me i'd love to see them!!

I’ve been thinking about professor!magnus and soldier!alec since yesterday and idk if I want to commit myself to writing something like that when I know nothing about the army but I feel like there could be something very heartbreaking about it. 

Like maybe Alec is about to be deployed and it’s his what… 2nd? 3rd? tour and he’s happy to be unattached, despite what his siblings always say, because he knows how hard it is to be separated from the ones he loves but also to be left behind and he doesn’t want to do that to someone. So he doesn’t date and he doesn’t have a lot of close friends apart from his family and it’s ok, hes doing something important, serving his country and following his family’s footsteps (ofc they’d be a big military family) but then he meets Magnus … Idk where, somewhere random like a bookstore or grocery store or the outdoor market Izzy dragged him to and sparks  f l y. And Alec is confused/overwhelmed and reluctant despite Magnus flirting 110% with him. Maybe they exchange numbers maybe not, maybe they randomly meet again and Magnus is like uh funny twist of fate *flirty grin* and Alec is just…. abort mission holy shit help ???Because even though he’s had flings and hooks up, he’s never had a crush or somebody that made him go w o w  like this and it’s new? But he kinda wants to break his rule and say yes when the hot college professor asks him out and that’s new and kinda scary but he blurts out yes before he can fully think about it or change his mind. Of course, he has a nervous breakdown afterward and Izzy is like pls find your chill but he can’t find his chill cause he’s going away to get shot at in less than 3 months and the timing couldn’t more off and that’s not fair to Magnus to get him involved like that… Because, of course, Alec is the type of person to worry too much before anything even happens. Anyway, so they go on a date maybe a walk at dusk and some ice cream?? Idk why but I’m imagining this is set in a small coastal town? They can walk near the water while talking about everything and nothing?? I’m seeing a make out session on top of a lighthouse? Anyway, when Alec tells Magnus what he does and where he’s going he’s all sorry about that I should have told you straight away when you asked me out but Magnus is all its ok lets just see where this goes, it doesn’t have to be serious since you’re leaving so soon and they agree to have a fling… but feelings happen and it’s inconvenient!!!

I like imagining Alec walking Magnus to his classes when he’s stayed over the night before (Magnus teaches history in this, I feel it). And maybe on mornings he wasn’t at Magnus’ he does a little detour on his morning run to buy him breakfast and he leaves it in his office during the 8am lecture that Magnus hates so that he’ll have something nice after that hardship, a little muffin and a coffee with a cute note on the cup ‘cause Alec is sappy af even though he tries very hard to hide it. And maybe he buys Magnus peonies at some point, just because they’re pretty and Magnus is pretty and he’s never bought flowers for anyone before and he wanted to… And Magnus keeps teasing him flowers are not casual Mister!! because it’s easier to flirt and tease than to acknowledge the fact that Alec is leaving really soon and he might not come back, and Magnus isn’t even important enough to be considered someone he’s leaving behind (or at least that’s how he feels). Magnus tries not to think about it but he’s obsessing over the idea that he doesn’t even know Alec’s family and friends, doesn’t know anyone who would tell him if something happened??? But he doesn’t want to bring it up because it’s supposed to be casual and meaningless, something that ends when the semester ends. So they keep going on dates and Alec cooks for him and Magnus tries to ignore the uneasy feeling growing in his chest as time flies too fast. Until there aren’t any time left and Alec is leaving. So they take a walk just like their first date and they have ice cream and they make love and they definitely don’t talk about it even though they both know that they should and Alec just… leaves. 

And Magnus tries not to have a hard time about it but it’s tough and he’s grateful it’s the end of the semester ‘cause at least he’s busy between marking terrible essays and correcting exams. He goes out with his friends from the history department once they’re all done and he tries to have a fun time, but truth is… he’s worried. He starts watching the news a little too obsessively and his friends don’t like it but he can’t help himself. 

Alec has been gone three weeks when the first letter comes. It takes Magnus by surprise at first because in all the times they’ve been together Alec has always been a man of little words. That’s not to say he was emotionally unavailable or unwilling to discuss things and his feelings, but this is new, the way the words flow easily on the page like it was no hardship at all to put it all down, descriptions of his unit and where he is, a full paragraph about how much he misses Magnus’ cat and nothing about them at all. But Magnus gets it, he sees it for what it is, a peace offering maybe or a stubborn unwillingness to let go, so he writes back. He talks about his students, their successes and their struggles, and his friends, little things that have reminded him of Alec since he’s been gone. Soft stories for a soft boy in a hard place. And they keep going back and forth, sending each other little pieces of their respective lives and it should be enough, it’s more than Magnus expected, but it’s tough and he misses Alec like a limb, misses him in his bed and in his kitchen, misses him when summer classes start and he has no one to hold his hand on his way to work, no callused fingers to wrap around his… But every new letter is a blessing. It says many things but underneath it all, the most important message is I’m still here, I’m alive and I’m thinking about you. 

Okay so maybe it all comes to a halt one day when his phone rings and it’s Alec on the line, after all those weeks, all those months, and he sounds like h e l l  and he’s there on the phone, apologizing to Magnus because his phone bill is gonna be awful but I …. I just… I needed to hear your voice Magnus, I’m sorry. You… you c-can send me the bill if you want, I just… and it takes everything Magnus has for him not to break down and cry right there and then because Alec really doesn’t sound okay and he has no idea what happened and he has no idea what they are but that’s his boy there on the phone who’s hurting and he hasn’t heard his voice in weeks… So Magnus is like Please shut up about my phone bill, I don’t give a fuck about that. How are you? Are you okay? What happened? And Alec is reluctant to talk about it, doesn’t want to give any details, just keeps saying rough day, Magnus, rough day in this small voice and Magnus hates it more than he’s ever hated anything in his life. He doesn’t want to push Alec too hard so he just asks what can I do? and he hates the way his voice shakes, he wishes he could be stronger than this but Alec doesn’t seem to mind, he just sighs like he’s tired deep in his bones, deep in his soul, and says: just talk to me. So Magnus does, he rambles on nervously about what he had for breakfast and what he taught today, his lecture plan for tomorrow, his neighbor’s hatred for his cat and his favorite designer on the new season of Project Runway. He just babbles on, hoping it can help. All he wants to do is help. Alec hums here and there, asks a few questions, especially about Magnus’ work and at some point he runs out of things to say. There’s a beat of silence before he whispers I love you and he knows that won’t help but he can’t keep it inside anymore, he can’t live with this trapped inside of him, fighting to break free. Alec sighs again. I.. I w-wish… You… you shouldn’t say that. Don’t say that, please. It shouldn’t take Magnus by surprise but it does and it hurts. Me not saying it won’t make it untrue Alexander. Alec groans in frustration and Magnus can picture it perfectly, the way he’s probably bent over, head between his knees, one hand harshly buried in his hair. I didn’t want to put you through that. I didn’t want to put anyone through that but especially not you. He’s so noble and he’s so caring and Magnus knew that already but it hits him again, hard, that this is a man who puts others before himself every single time and who will fight tooth and nail anyone who dares try taking care of him. So Magnus does his best to sound as stern as he can:  Well just too bad because I’m here and you’re there and I love you. And you wishing it hadn’t happened won’t change anything and if you like me even the tiniest bit you’ll call me again because I have been worried sick. 

Alec calls every week after that. There’s a new kind of anxiety that comes with waiting for the phone call, waiting for the confirmation that Alec is okay, but Magnus is happy to live with it when it means he can hear Alec’s voice once a week, warm and soft when he asks Magnus what he’s been up to and insists to be put on the phone with the cat. I don’t want him to forget me! 

That boy. 

They don’t talk about what they are again and it takes until Alec is back on American soil, his head buried in Magnus’ neck so no one can see him cry, for him to say I love you back, but it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t need it. For now, Magnus cherishes every time his phone rings and he gets connected to Alec, he cherishes every time he can make him laugh, he cherishes every single plan they start making, every single hint that they can have a future together. 

It’s enough. 

anonymous asked:

(different anon) I'd love to see a tutorial someday too. Specifically, how the heck do you get your pastries and ice creams and bread to look so soft and natural?! I've made a couple simple food pixels myself, but they all seem so stiff in comparison.

hum well personally i think making things look natural starts wi sketching out line work. (i did a comparison of a bread bun, starting with the same blue sketch to show the differences) i always do rough sketches & work over them bc i think it gives me a better idea of the form.

i know sometimes it seems right to have everything perfect & symmetrical but it all depends on what your drawing in the first place - because you mentioned like bread & ice-cream etc those things are rarely perfect anyway, so i guess avoid being too structured

then i think another big thing is the colour choice & the balance of the halftone dots for shading. I feel like too much half tone & its one big ordered gradient & yeah that looks kind of odd. & for the colour.. its tempting to just pick out the darkest tone & just gradually make it paler for the highlighty bits - but in reality when you really look at something there’s usually a lot of different kinds of colours (even if it is just white bread). So yeah id say experiment with that - i usually exaggerate and go for much warmer colours tbh.

the last thing that i think makes a huge difference is how you do the shine (if any). it helps to just think about the actual thing your drawing (goes wi out saying but curved and squishy bread probably has a softer curvy shine) and it’s probably not such sharp stark white

i feel like the picture just explains it all way better haha 

-`mini tutorial about pixel bread bun´-

anonymous asked:

would it be okay with you if i got some of your words tattooed? they're so powerful.

always yes!! i love to see the pictures !! i hope my words protect you and serve you well, and know you go forwards in my heart!! i love you and if i’ve got any magic in this world, it’s in my words, so i kind of think of them… like a little spell between you and me. i put my heart into them, and you turn them into what you need. you have every blessing from me! :)

Matthew Daddario Quotes
  • "We call our shoes ‘sneakers,’ right? But they're not really sneaking."
  • "Can't wait till they invent phones with keyboards."
  • "I don't know this guy. He came to hang out so I complimented his hair."
  • "How many artichokes can you eat in one sitting?"
  • "No, go back to my idea!"
  • "Maybe, they'll throw the books out. Just not follow the books anymore."
  • "Hey guys did everyone floss today? You gotta floss every day. Otherwise, your dentist makes you feel bad."
  • "I play piano but I won't call it a talent."
  • "I'm the funniest person in the cast and that's simply because everybody else is so painfully unfunny."
  • "There is literally no memory left in my phone. I took fourteen thousand blue sky photos and I need all of them."
  • "Send him photos of fried chicken and crab cakes."
  • "I have a dentist appt tomorrow. I'm not gonna brush my teeth tonight. Also not going to shower. This is going to be painful for everyone."
  • "You are not trash, you are lovely!"
  • "Don't sign contracts in your blood. It's usually not required by any reputable party."
  • "He's slippin' out his little tongue eating snail treats off the ground."
  • "I will eat anywhere in the house. I'll eat cheese crackers in bed!"
  • "He looks down and sees this wonderful man. He hops down there and smooches that man right on the face. Right in front of everyone."
  • "...it's not fair that he is more handsome than me!!!"
  • "Don't do the hokey pokey around witches."
  • "They're never gonna release the deleted scenes to you guys because they're racy and inappropriate."
  • "This video is going on social media!"
  • "I'm ashamed to admit I lied about the selfies. The phone is 98% cow pictures and I can't delete them. I need a new phone. Forgive me."
  • "Thank god I started sandpapering my feet when I was four."
  • "Is Alec appreciating at an increased rate because of an increase in demand? Or is it the same rate as before."
  • "Note, some alpaca do not appreciate head pats."
  • "If humans lived in barns, we'd be smelly, too."
  • "Had to delete all my cow photos to make room for selfies, so I will say 'I appreciate you, cows.'"
  • "Wow. It's spelled Gollum. Wow. So disappointed. Hiding my own cell phone for the next two weeks."
  • "You're a little kitty cat. Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy kitty cat, kitty cat."
  • "Sometimes when I travel between dimensions, I think, man, I should really buy a sailboat."
  • "If I was running for President, my VP would be a well trained golden retriever."
  • "Who's not going to watch Hamlet in space? I mean, Space Hamlet!"
  • "I just think we should all acknowledge what is awesome about Harry!"
  • "I like eating food after dark."
  • "Generally, people avoid kissing their sister in a healthy life."
  • "If you don't like my zebra leggings, it's because you just don't understand zebra leggings."
  • "I think we should provide more showers for cows."
  • "If I'm having a bad day, I eat pizza."
  • "I hope Google uses the same algorithm to encrypt my email as my pocket does to tie knots with my headphones."
  • "I would own a farm. Not like growing crops but maybe have a few animals like cows, and maybe an alpaca or a llama. I would chop wood all day."
  • "Dog. #dog. Dog. Dog."
  • "Had fun tweeting with/at you guys. Phone is about to die. Gonna go get more double-A batteries."
  • "The jackhammer has been joined by his friend, the concrete saw. Rare that you get two music legends right outside your window like this."
  • "Interdimensional cat smuggling is severely punished. But you can make a killing on the black cat market."
  • "You should just give up on me like I did. So done with me right now I can't even."
  • "What am I fan of? No one's ever asked me this before! Oh man."
  • "I don't know why they say that. I think they're poking fun at me."
  • "Congrats. You deserve that sailboat."
  • "I don't know. I don't have any pet peeve. Yapping little dogs, I guess. Buttons that don't go up right."
  • "Donkeys look like rabbit horses."
  • "Everyone is all, 'follow your heart.' If that worked I'd be watching Shadowhunters in my spaceship."
  • "Am I making this up?"
  • "I don't condone it, but I understand it, and therefore, I will not pass judgment on it."
  • "I can eat a pound of pork rinds."
  • "I am your bird king!"
  • "Baby pigs or baby cows? They're both good options."
  • "I have deleted a single photo from my phone. I have room for one selfie. Living on the edge. If it happens, no second chances."
  • "She gets it at a Shadowhunter tailor where we get all our stuff. Are you serious?"
  • "My cell phone is not the most important thing in my life. It just feels that way."
  • "Kill her immediately. Problem solved."
  • "You're not me? Most people aren't, in my experience."
  • "Man I've spent a whole year talking about sailboats and I could have just jumped on this SHIP."
  • "Reminder not to cite 'game of thrones' as my motivation for getting into politics."
  • "To all the people who threaten to punch me in the face... Do I have to be concerned or is that a love thing?"
  • "Put this on?! Fit it on my body?!"
  • "I’m going to shave today. Nobody will recognize me and I’ll have to reintroduce myself to all my friends."
  • "Don't get me started on this question."
  • "Okay, quick question. What does it mean when someone says they are your 'trash?' Asking for a friend..."
  • "Wait, 'SexyBack' is by Justin Timberlake?"
  • "Everyone's smooching everyone and Alec just wants to do his job. That's why he's the best and deserves a big smooch."

anonymous asked:

I saw that a while back you wrote about who needs therapy the most in the RFA. Going off of that, since I see this discussed a lot in the fandom, who do you think might have suffer from mental illness? Everyone struggles and is deserving of help. That's obvious and I hope people know that. I just see a lot of different opinions on the subject, and since (with the exclusion of Rika) nothing's ever confirmed in-game, I'd love to get your perspective. Your analyses are so well-done!

This request was a little difficult mainly because I really don’t want to insult anyone or say something wrong that could hurt anyones feelings or such. Therefor I want to preface this by saying that I am, by no means, a professional. I wanted to become a Psychiatrist so I did learn a couple of things on my own, but nowhere near enough to be accurate about everything. I have a couple of ideas what kind of mental illnesses the Mystic Messenger crew might have based on internet research, but as always don’t quote me on this…

|| REQUEST ARE (ALWAYS) OPEN!! ||


Zen =  Body Dysmorphic Disorder or BDD

Honestly I don’t really think that Zen has any mental illnesses, after all you can struggle in life without it being a full blown mental illness, but if I would had to say one that he might have I’d choose BDD. Not all people suffering from BDD are those stick thin girls that see themselves as overweight when looking in the mirror. There are many nuances to every mental disorder, including BDD. Let’s have a look why I think Zen might have BDD:

✓ preoccupation with physical appearance

✓ belief that one has an abnormality or defect in appearance that makes her ugly

✓ frequently looking in the mirror

✗ avoiding mirrors altogether

✓ believing that others take special notice of ones appearance in a negative way

✗ frequent cosmetic procedures with little satisfaction

✓ excessive grooming

✓ feeling extremely self-conscious

✗ refusing to appear in pictures

✗ skin picking

✓ comparing appearance with that of others

✗ avoiding social situations

✓ camouflaging (with body position, clothing, makeup, hair, hats, etc.)

✓ excessive exercise

✓ changing clothes excessively

As I said many times before, I feel like Zen’s excessive narcissism is nothing but a facade to hide that he really just hates his body and himself due to what happened in his childhood. In order to overcome one negative extreme he through himself into another extreme, self-hate to excessive self-love, even going as far as to pursue a career where everyone could and would see him. He constantly talks about his looks, is self-conscious about his albinism, constantly stares at himself in mirrors or phones, knows that people notice his albinism and fears it’s negative, constantly grooms himself, is self-conscious, has an excessive need to compare himself to others, exercises excessively and for his job he constantly has to camouflage and change clothing. Out of all the symptoms for it, Zen sure fits a lot of them.
There is even a good reason why he might have it:

?   having biological relatives with body dysmorphic disorder

✓ childhood teasing

?  physical or sexual abuse

✓ low self-esteem

✓ societal pressure or expectations of beauty

He got teased by his parents and hated by his teacher. He had low self-esteem because of it and then of course societal pressure got added to the mix later on once he became an actor. I’m not sure whether he suffered physical or sexual abuse, although I wouldn’t completely cut out the possibility, if you consider that it was hinted at that his teacher had a thing for him as well as the fact that his parents seemed like the abusive type and he was in a biker gang. I also don’t know whether his parents might have had BDD, but it is a possibility. Either way, looking at all this Zen could be suffering from BDD, although I don’t fully believe he does.

Yoosung = Addictive Personality Disorder

I already mentioned before that I think that Yoosung has quite the addictive personality and look there, the shoe kind of fits. I’m basically 99% sure that Yoosung has some kind of addictive personality disorder or something similar now let’s see why:

✓ Low self-esteem

✓ A tendency to impulsive behaviour

✗ An antisocial personality

✓ Difficulty delaying gratification

✓ A disposition toward sensation seeking

✓ Someone who values nonconformity to an extreme

✓ Someone with a weak commitment to the goals for achievement that are generally accepted by “normal” society

✓ Someone who is tolerant of deviant behaviour

✓ Someone who is socially alienated

✓ Having an increased sense of stress

Basically…almost all of the symptoms fit to some extend or the other. It is undeniable that Yoosung has low self-esteem, something that is mentioned in basically all of the routes. He is very impulsive and never thinks things through, like getting his eye almost cut out by one Saeran Choi, because he just had to safe you right then right now without planning. He barely makes any friends outside of his games and the people he already knew, namely the RFA members, when Yoosungs wants to play he needs to do it instantly without any patience to wait, he has given up on studying in order to pursue his addiction – gaming – tolerates a lot of deviant behaviour going on in the RFA, namely whatever one particular hacker is up to, and despite being a lazy fart who never cleans nor studies nor does care for himself properly he seems to be under constant stress. On top of that he is completely obsessed with the women in his life; first Rika then you. He latches on and is incapable of letting go until something new comes around that catches his attention. All of these are pretty fitting, don’t you think?

♨ Jaehee = Anxiety Disorder ♨

Just like with Zen I don’t really think that Jaehee has any disorders or illnesses in particular, just your every day stress of Korean workplaces wearing her down. However, if I had to pick one that might be fitting it would be Anxiety Disorder. To clarify, I don’t really mean the anxiety most people would picture; being afraid to speak in public etc – as we all know that Jaehee is capable of doing that – but more on the lines of being constantly stressed and on edge:

?  Irrational fears

✓ Muscle tension

?  Chronic indigestion

?  Stage fright

✓ Self-consciousness

✓ Panic, fear, and uneasiness

?  Flashbacks

✓ Perfectionism

?  Compulsive behaviors

✓ Self-doubt

✓ Problems sleeping

✓ Not being able to be still and calm

✓ Dizziness (mentioned in one of the bad endings)

The amount of question marks is precisely why I don’t really think she has it, but potentially could. A lot of those we cannot know for sure, as such things are never explicitly mentioned or even hinted in in the game, but I definitely could see being the case. I’m about 90% sure that Jaehee has compulsive behaviours as well as the kind of flashbacks connected to anxiety disorder. I also believe that while she is able to hold a meeting that speaking in front of people is something she had to force herself to learn and that Jaehee actually has stage fright. As for any physical symptoms I can’t even deduce whether she might have them or not, but as I said I could imagine it. Then again, I’m really not sure and this is all just me thinking of possibilities I don’t really think are true.

Jumin = Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder

This is something I have personal experience with, since I have OCPD. Just as a side note, OCPD is not OCD and has very little in common with what you see OCD being portrayed as in the media. Also, to make something clear, I am not giving my favourite my own disorder to feel connected to him. I feel connected to him, because I feel like he has the same disorder. Jumin is very similar to me, which is why I understand his struggles the best and connect to him. Now enough about me, let’s dig into what OCPD is and why I think Jumin has it:

Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder is characterized by a preoccupation with orderliness, perfectionism, and mental and interpersonal control, at the expense of flexibility, openness, and efficiency.

- may have such difficulty deciding which tasks take priority or what is the best way of doing some particular task that they may never get started on anything.

- prone to becoming upset or angry in situations in which they are not able to maintain control of their physical or interpersonal environment, although the anger is typically not expressed directly. On other occasions, anger may be expressed with righteous indignation over a seemingly minor matter.

-  may be especially attentive to their relative status in dominance-submission relationships and may display excessive deference to an authority they respect and excessive resistance to authority that they do not respect.

- Individuals with this disorder usually express affection in a highly controlled or stilted fashion and may be very uncomfortable in the presence of others who are emotionally expressive. Their everyday relationships have a formal and serious quality, and they may be stiff in situations in which others would smile and be happy. They carefully hold themselves back until they are sure that whatever they say will be perfect.

✓ Is preoccupied with details, rules, lists, order, organization and schedules

✓ Shows perfectionism which can interfere with task completion

✓ Is excessively devoted to work and productivity to the exclusion of leisure activities and friendships

✓ Is overconscientious, scrupulous, and inflexible about matters of morality, ethics, or values

✓ Is unable to discard worn-out or worthless objects even when they have no sentimental value

✓ Is reluctant to delegate tasks or to work with others unless they submit to exactly his or her way of doing things

✓ Adopts a miserly spending style toward both self and others; money is viewed as something to be hoarded for future catastrophes

✓ Shows significant rigidity and stubbornness

Is there really anything I need to explain about this? All of these fit Jumin like a glove tailored for him. There are really only two things that I need to clarify something on. For one we don’t know how Jumin acts about discarding things he has no logical need for, but I feel from the way he treats the pen his father gives him, that said point fits. Despite not needing a golden diamond pen and probably having a million more that work just the same he starts an entire search party to get it back, probably out of sentimental reasons but also because he can’t discard such things. As for the miserly spending style, something most people would disagree with, Jumin doesn’t waste money. He lives in luxury and he does like spending his money, but he doesn’t waste it. The things he buys or pays a lot of money for are practical for the better part; like a nutritionist and gym to keep him healthy. With the money he earns he could live a lot more extravagant than he already does, but he’s not wasteful and exactly like described values money and hoarding it. Other than that, everything else fits perfectly!

☼ Saeyoung/Seven = Major Depression ☼ 

Honestly guys, does this even need explaining? He’s flunking his depression in everyone’s faces all day, every day and yet no one seems to care. Despite the fact that he doesn’t have just ordinary depression but major depression. I’m talking hardcore bullshit here and rightly so. Let’s break this down once and for all:

✓ Fatigue or loss of energy almost every day

✓ Feelings of worthlessness or guilt almost every day

✓ Impaired concentration, indecisiveness

✓ Insomnia or hypersomnia almost every day

✓ Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in almost all activities nearly every day

✓ Restlessness or feeling slowed down

✓ Recurring thoughts of death or suicide

✓ Significant weight loss or gain

✓ Change in your appetite (not eating enough or overeating)

✓ Low self-esteem

✓ Feeling of hopeless

For a while I was torn between Saeyoung being just depressed or having manic depression aka bipolar disorder. I decided to depression, mainly because his ‘episodes’ of euphoria are mostly fake and don’t really happen in proper cycles. Then again, we only get to know them for eleven days and usually those cycles can take up to weeks when not regulated with the proper medication, so who knows. However, it’s a 100% clear that Saeyoung is majorly depressed. Other than his eccentric chatting behaviour he barely seems to have energy, even the smallest things can break his concentration, he never sleeps, other than his interest in cars he has no other interest or pleasurable activities left, Saeyoung constantly mentions how worthless he is, how guilty he feels over his brother, how hopeless he feels of getting out of where he’s got himself stuck and how he wants to die. As for the significant weight loss, he barely eats but what he eats is horrible junk. He should weight much much more than he does considering his diet, which I put into the same category as weight loss. Therefor Saeyoung shows all the symptoms of a majorly depressed person. 

☀ Saeran = Borderline Personality Disorder ☀

For a hot minute I thought about Saeran having depression as well, but I feel like his mental issues go a little deeper and more complicated than ‘just’ depression. Upon researching some of the symptoms he has compared to his twin brother I stumbled over BPD, not to be confused with bipolar disorder (happened to me ones). People with BPD usually experience symptoms like:

✓ Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment

✓A pattern of intense and unstable relationships with family, friends, and loved ones, often swinging from extreme closeness and love to extreme dislike or anger

✓ Distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self

✓ Impulsive and often dangerous behaviours

✓ Recurring suicidal behaviours or threats or self-harming behaviour

✓ Intense and highly changeable moods, with each episode lasting from a few hours to a few days

✓ Chronic feelings of emptiness

✓ Inappropriate, intense anger or problems controlling anger

✓ Having stress-related paranoid thoughts

✓ Having severe dissociative symptoms, such as feeling cut off from oneself, observing oneself from outside the body, or losing touch with reality

Much like with Saeyoung this case of mental illness needs very little explaining. The symptoms speak for themselves, as they perfectly fit to Saeran, all of them. Now some might say that he didn’t show those symptoms as a child and that is true, although I wouldn’t say that his BPD was caused only by what Rika did to him, although that surely played a big part. There are three main reasons that are considered risk factors: Genetics, Environmental and Social Factors and Brain Factors. The environmental/social factor is quite obviously what Rika did to Saeran. Most notable factors in that category are traumatic life events such as abuse (mother then Rika) and/or abandonment (his father then Saeyoung) during childhood. What Rika did to Saeran also works into the brain factors, as her torture probably caused structural and functional changes in his brain that changed his behaviour and way of thinking so drastically. As for the genetics, I actually wouldn’t be so surprised of the twins’ mother had some sort of mental disorder or even BPD that caused her to lash out on the boys like that and in Saeran’s case pass it on. It might even explain why he was sickly as a child while his brother wasn’t. Although that is purely theoretical, the rest isn’t as much. Poor baby…

📷 Jihyun/V = White Knight Syndrome 📷

Now I honestly have to say that I’m not sure whether White Knight Syndrome falls in the mental illness category or not, but it fit so perfectly to V and there was very little else I could have come up with, so I’m putting it into the list. Now what exactly is White Knight Syndrome or what are the symptoms:

✓ Fears emotional distance

✓ Is very emotionally vulnerable and sensitive

✓ Has a tendency to idealize the partner

✓ Has an extreme need to be viewed as important or unique

~  Tends to be self-critical or reactively blames, devalues, and manipulate others

In relationships:

✓ Is attracted to a needy partner or a partner with a history of trauma, loss, abuse, or addiction

✓ Fears being separated from the partner, losing the partner’s love or approval, or being abandoned by the partner

✓ Engages in controlling behaviour, often under the guise of helping

✓ Maintains or restores connection with the partner by being extremely helpful or good

✗  Responds ambivalently to the partner’s success

✓ Describes a sense of “oneness” with the partner

✓ Fails to recognize the partner’s manipulative behaviours

✓ Is seduced by the sexual or dramatic behaviour of the partner

✓ Evokes strong feelings in the partner in order to avoid his or her own emotional discomfort

✓ Maintains hope for a gratifying relationship by denying the reality of the partner’s issues

I mean…hello V? Other than the point about his response to his partner being ambivalent everything fits perfectly. That is precisely why I find it so irritating when people describe his feelings towards Rika as love. No, V did not love Rika or at least not in a healthy way. He loved her instability and he was obsessed with the idea of saving her. So much so that he was willing to manipulate, devaluate and fuck over the rest of his friends. The only reason I used ~ on that particular point is because while he is self-critical as well, he never reactively blames anyone but himself. Frankly rightly so. Anyone who thinks that V is in any way innocent is wrong. He didn’t stop Rika. Despite knowing of her plans all along he never once did anything to stop her and therefor he is almost as much at fault as Rika is. In fact my American law he would be charged with accessory to a hefty crime amongst other things earning him a couple of years in prison, just saying. I’m sure his White Knight Syndrome played into why he did what he did, but that doesn’t make him any more innocent nor excuses what torture other people were put through because he put Rika first and did nothing to stop her.

anonymous asked:

Hi first off can I just say that I love love love your headcanons?? Bc i do!! Any who I was wondering if you could do sfw + nsfw relationship headcanons for 3rd gym + Iwaizumi x a kinda big girl? Like not huge just chubby and kinda tall? Idk. I'd love it :)

It may have taken me awhile to write these, but I really enjoyed doing them! Because I freaking love headcanons! So thank you, Anon, for enjoying with them and giving me more to do!


SFW

Bokuto Koutarou

  • He’d feel so secure standing next to her, because, like really, Bo’s a big guy, he’s usually afraid he’s gonna crush someone in the midst of delivering his affections. With her, while he still worries, he’s not quite a restricted about it.
    • Just means she’s getting the purest form of his love! The sudden hugs and gathering up in his arms, the rushed kisses to her face and neck when he becomes too infatuated with her, and those hands that always want to be touching some part of her at all times!
  • They probably both use each other as their personal pillows all the time, be it at school, out in public, or at home. Bokuto likes to lay on her tummy or her legs where she like to lie on his chest or his little tooshie, lol!

Akaashi Keiji

  • Just freaking loves gathering her in his arms from behind and laying his head on her shoulder. It’s probably his immediate comfort zone. Whenever he starts to feel stressed about school, volleyball, or something at home, he seeks her out and just curls up around her from behind.
  • Oh! In turn she probably adopted the habit from him and will often times find herself pressing her face into his back! It’s just so comforting to her even when she’s not upset.
    • Result, she’s - more times than not - the big spoon! Akaashi doesn’t mind in the slightest! He probably drags her leg over his side and spends his time idly messaging and drawing patterns into her soft thighs!

Kuroo Tetsurou

  • Freaking loves blowing raspberries wherever he can on this girl! She wore her hair up (or has short hair!) to reveal her neck: raspberry. She decided to wear a crop top while they were out shopping: raspberry. Her thighs are bare as she lays on his bed while they’re doing homework: freaking raspberries!
  • Almost always has her in his lap no matter where they are. His arms are wrapped around her middle or resting on her thighs, head against her shoulder as she rubs his scalp beneath that mop of hair. Just public cuddling, so much public cuddling.
    • Hell, he’ll even find himself in her lap sometimes, curling into her as she holds him tightly. His fingers dip into her flesh as they trail up her sides more than likely turning a cute moment into a chance for torture if she’s ticklish! (I can just imagine things getting out of hand and she accidentally smacks him! Omg! He brought it on himself!)

Tsukishima Kei

  • This kid is guaranteed always taking pictures of her and them together. Like, check his Instagram, it’s flooded with images (I will fight anyone on this!).
    • Ones where they’re side by side, cuddling, cheek kisses, maybe even just a shot of their linked hands on her thigh??? And then he’s got a TON of just her - most of which she’s probably not even aware he took - of her curled up on his bed, sleeping on his shoulder, or, oh! Those freaking adorable photos from behind with their hands together! Yup, that’s the stuff.
  • His favorite place for his hand is right on her waist. He might even prefer holding her there over holding her hand? Like, it just feels comfortable with her side pressed against him while his fingers can knead into the flesh of her waist there. Just yes.

Iwaizumi Hajime

  • Ooooh, I can picture then being the exact same height and it makes me way beyond happy! Tons of chaste and neck kisses and easy shoulder resting and prolonged eye contact that always makes Oikawa complain when he’s around them. (“I am here too, ya know?!!?!”)
  • Dude, this kid is all about flesh and how much of it he can get into his hands at one time (ps. It’s never enough!) and he just lives for his chubby girlfriend! So, she better tell him how comfortable she is with drawing attention to it, cause he’s always going to be helping himself otherwise!
    • Like, he’s a man of simple needs, really. Let the little hedgehog have his fill every now and then of that plush flesh! He’ll reward her, of course, he’s not a savage!

NSFW

Bokuto Koutarou

  • Okay, legit, this precious one gets so turned on by those plush legs around him. Like, pull him in with them and he’ll be putty in her hands without a doubt - plus he’ll be sporting a hardon before she even knows it!
    • Whether they’re around his head or waist, it doesn’t matter, boy will go to town on those thighs! Biting and kissing the flesh until he leaves mark and his hands are constantly gripping them throughout the entirety of the act.
  • Omg, ride him. She’s the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen and he wants to see her in at her beauty. If she gets on top and allows from his hands to grab freely at her hips, butt, and thighs, this boy will be in heaven (she’ll no doubt be able to make him scream as well!).

Akaashi Keiji

  • Remember how I said Akaashi’s comfort zone is cuddling from behind, it’s no different during the hot and heavy times either! Boy LOVES taking her from behind, his head pressed between her shoulder blades and his hands gripping at her hips.
    • Oooooh, reverse cowgirl is one he likes a lot too! Like, he gets to watch her ride him while his hands can freely grab at her bottom. And the way her back arches or her head falls back, omg, she’ll have him begging for more.
  • While he’s not one for leaving hi kids in places where everyone can see them, that doesn’t mean they’re not there. Her breasts and hips are littered with evidence of his teeth. During summer he’ll distract his mouth from leaving marks to eating her out, hands happy to be full of her thighs.

Kuroo Tetsurou

  • Boy just freaking loves going down on his girl. And he’ll take his time getting there like the freaking tease that he is. He’ll start at her neck, working there until he found that spot before starting down her body, making sure to give attention to each and every part of her.
    • Little shit will totally bypass her heat too, choosing instead to kiss around her hip and down her leg. He won’t actually give her the attention she wants until he’s finished coming back up the opposite leg, it doesn’t matter how much she demands of him.
  • He’s good at talking right? While he’s balls deep inside her, he’s got his lips at her ear telling her just how good she feels inside and how he wants those legs around him tighter. Oh, and he spends plenty of times just moaning as well. He’s just a man, he can’t always be in control.

Tsukishima Kei

  • Shit, I just imagined this kid recording and taking pictures of their illicit activities - all of which he uses as master nation material when she’s not around. Oooooh, and he’s probably always wanting to take pictures of her naked! Like he’s got provocative ones, sure, but also casual ones of her just walking around his room or something? (I got like this Renaissance Venus image stuck in my head when I think of those pictures! So freaking pretty!)
  • Oh my geez. Some slow electronic house music is playing quietly in the back and he fucks her to the beat, never speeding up or slowly down. All the while his hands and slowly working at her flesh (almost to the beat of the music) and, gosh, it probably lasts HOURS and it’s pure, beautiful torture! (I totally don’t fantasize about this all the freaking time guys… I do all the time.)
  • Lol, this kid probably loves lap dances too, yeah? (I mean, who doesn’t?) and he’s always totally stoked when those hips come sashaying up to him where he’s seated at his computer desk. It doesn’t take long for his hands to start wondering her body, fingers pressing into the flesh and watching intently how it dips below his finger. This boy is all about details, even in the sexy times.

Iwaizumi Hajime

  • Ahhhhh! Boy just wants to grab and grope and kiss and lick every single freaking part of her! When the clothes come off his animalistic instincts turn on and he’s all primal. Shit, man, he probably growls when he goes in to bite at her flesh or as his hands press her tighter to himself.
    • Sidenote: just because Iwaizumi is very rough and eager during sex does not mean he can’t flip it off when he wants to. She’s feeling like she needs comfort and deep loving? You bet your ass he’s taking things slow and full out body worshipping her because she deserves it! Those breast, that waist, her hips, and her thighs are all getting delicate attention while she just sits back and enjoys herself.
  • Doggy style is 11/10 on his list. Actually, he probably likes it better when he’s taking her from behind but her back is flush against his chest. Not only does this allow more skin-to-skin contact, but this lets his hands have a chance to grab at whatever part of her he fancies at the time (side note: it’s all of her!).

anonymous asked:

Autistic people are often framed as having only a singular, heavily involved "special interest", or perhaps 2 or 3, to the absolute exclusion of anything else. While I know this is likely true for some, I can't imagine that every autistic person ever doesn't have multiple hobbies or interests pursued with varying degrees of engagement. The sense I get from the NT-written things I've encountered make autistic folk seem very one-dimensional. I'd like some help clearing this up, please!

This is one of those topics that hasn’t really been researched, as far as I can tell, so I’ll be sticking to my usual method of speaking for myself and inviting autistic followers to add their thoughts. I can in no way claim to speak for everyone, but am happy to share my perspective.

First off, let me explain how a special interest works for me with a simple metaphor: falling in love. When I first come across a new special interest, its eyes sparkle at me from across the room. I get a tiny taste of it, a fragment of information or a glimpse of a picture, and a spark flies, and a fuse lights, and a bomb of euphoria goes off in my head. This thing, this thing right here, is quite clearly the most amazing, important thing I’ve ever come across. This thing is frigging incredible, the best thing that’s ever happened, and the world needs to know.

I become obsessed. I gobble up information wherever I can find it. I learn everything there is to know as quickly as I possibly can. I become an expert on this thing in a remarkably short amount of time. This is LOVE, man. Well, more accurately, this is infatuation. Puppy love. That drug-like rush of chemicals in your brain when you feel you’ve found THE ONE. I talk about it constantly, much to the annoyance of those around me who just don’t quite understand why this thing, this one thing, is so amazingly great that I need to rant about it to the exclusion of everything else in the world. (Especially since they’ve heard it all before.) Just talking about it gives me a rush of euphoria. Sometimes I can see that those around me aren’t interested, but I just can’t stop. The words pour out of me, the excitement radiates off of me, I can’t be ignored, can’t be interrupted. This is like nothing that has ever happened before! Surely, if I can explain it well enough, everyone else will see, too, right? Right?

If you’ve never been in this kind of love, you might not have learned this lesson yet, but here it comes, folks: that kind of love doesn’t last. That euphoric high that results when your brain decides to take a bath in happy chemicals - it’s just physically impossible to sustain it. Eventually, the high, the firey passion, wears off. For me, this usually takes about a year. I’ve read and watched and learned everything I can about this thing. It’s been the center point of my life for a long time, the thing that gets me out of bed in the morning. And one day, suddenly, it just… doesn’t hold the same appeal. It’s not that I don’t love it anymore! I will always love it. But the love changes. It becomes the old, familiar love that comes with time. You don’t get that high from being together anymore, but that doesn’t mean you don’t enjoy each other’s company. You no longer try to persuade the world that this one is the one, is the best thing ever. You no longer need to. This love just settles into the back of your mind, always there, always a comfort, always ready to give you a hug when you need it.

The expertise I’ve gained from all my intensive research, that stays. I will always know just about all there is to know about that thing (at least, all there was to know when I was researching it). I’ll always be able to call that knowledge to mind later on, when it’s useful. And I’ve developed quite the reputation for being a “know-it-all”. I always seem to have some random, obscure fact right on the tip of my tongue, and it’s usually debunking some common misconception that my friends would just as soon keep on having rather than feeling like they’re constantly under attack by that one girl who just HAS to know EVERYTHING.

But it doesn’t feel that way for me. A key difference I’ve noted in communication between autistic and allistic people, and the source of a large percentage of our miscommunications in life, is this: allistic people communicate to bond emotionally and to establish and display power and dominance or submission. Autistic people communicate to share information. When I correct someone, it’s because I know that if I was wrong, I would want to be given the correct information, so I could stop being wrong. But when an allistic person is corrected like that, they take it as an attack on their status, a display of power, and a denial of their feelings. The “golden rule” doesn’t always work. It’s a constant problem.

In any case, I have always been described as someone obsessive. Someone who finds one thing (although it’s often two, three, even four things at a time) and just obsessively learns everything about it and won’t shut up about it for months and months on end. And that really does seem to be true, in a sense. I have very extreme levels of interest. Either something is amazing and I need to know everything about it, or it just doesn’t catch my interest at all. There isn’t much in between.

On the other hand, due to all the many special interests I’ve had over my more than three decades of life, I have built up quite a broad range of interests. I never lost any of them. All of those things still interest me now, and when someone brings one of them up in conversation, I still get a spark of the old obsessiveness deep inside. As a result, I now seem to have a wide range of interests, some of which I’m overtly obsessive about, and others which I keep on file, ready to pull out whenever they’re needed. When I was young, that probably wasn’t the case. It’s likely that I may have been viewed as somewhat one-dimensional as a child, obsessed with just a few things and completely uncaring about everything else. (And when my parents, trying to make me act “normal”, tried separating me from my special interests, the pain was as crushing as being forced to leave your True Love because the rest of the world doesn’t want you to be together - and only made my obsession stronger.)

What I want you to understand is that I don’t see that as a negative thing in any way. An allistic person might see that narrow range of interests and think “oh the poor thing, it’s like she lives in a tiny world and is missing so much of life!” But from my perspective, it’s allistic people who are missing out. Allistic people never seem particularly interested in anything, not by my standards. From where I’m standing, it looks like allistics just drift through life, dabbling in a little of everything but never mastering anything, never finding any real interest, never getting any real, intense joy out of any of their hobbies. An allistic person might say to me, “Yeah, I do a little crocheting, but I’m not really that into it.” And in my mind, I’ll think… then why do it at all? How horribly unsatisfying must it be to go through your entire life, never falling in love with anything you do? Never feeling that euphoria that I get to experience over and over again every time I find a new interest?

Autistic and allistic brains are specialized differently. Allistic brains are best at navigating social rules and structures and internalizing broad strokes and large categories. They look at a table for the first time and think: “That’s a table.” And that’s pretty much as far as they go. They might spend a few seconds to note the material or color or overall condition of the table, but that’s it. 

Autistic brains are specialized in details. It means we have more information to process, all those details without any mechanism for discarding the ones that aren’t important, but it also means we get to see everything about something. I see that new table and I can get lost in tracing the patterns of the grain for hours on end. Sure, it takes me longer, but I get a lot more out of it, and I get a joy from that which allistic people just don’t seem to get.

It’s similar with our interests. Allistics have broad interests, dipping their toe into the shallow ends of a thousand different pools but never really diving in. Autistics have narrow but intense interests. We absorb every detail, and in doing so experience an intense and wonderful euphoria. Honestly, sometimes I feel sorry for all the allistic people in the world who never get to experience that. The poor things… ;)

-Mod Aira

For me, I can have both special interests and normal-level interests. Just because I have stuff that I really really love and am passionate about doesn’t mean I can’t also have other interests, that I’m not quite as passionate about but that I like to dabble in from times to times or as a part of my routine. I do not feel however the urge or will to research them in more depth. There is joy that I can derive from it, but there is not the same “drive” to pursue it. I’d say that’s the main difference between a regular interest and what we call a special interest: a drive to learn about it, talk about it, read about it, build projects about it, engage with it, that is much stronger. So one person can have one or a few special interests, but I’d say it’s not always to the exclusion of everything else.

I think the intensity of special interests, their “obsessiveness” and whether or not the person likes to engage with other subjects that their special interests depends a lot from one person to the next. My special interests sound less intense than what Aira is describing, and I may have more varied non-special interests. So really I’d say this is something that depends a lot from one person to the next.

I also want to add that just because someone has a narrow range of interests doesn’t mean they’re one-dimensional: I’ve seen a special interest described as a lense through which you understand the world. The world is large, and even if you have only one such “lense”, that’s a lot of things to discover with that unique point of view.

-Mod Cat

anonymous asked:

I'd like to request headcanons for Viktor, Yuuri, and Yurio on how they feel and react when they first visit their s/o who lives in New York City please!

This is unique! I don’t know if it really falls in the long distance series, but you can imagine that if you want! Thank you for the request :3


[Viktor Nikiforov]

  • Spending time in New York with Viktor would be the greatest experience ever like 10/10 would recommend
  • He’s going to be so polite and chipper to the people who are rude to him on the street, kindly ignoring their negative spirits
  • omfg just imagine someone yelling at him for being in the way and then he’s like “oh my sorry i didn’t think me standing here would be such an inconvenience! my bad! :)”
  • He’s going to want to do anything and everything New York has to offer, and you’re going to be his tour guide
  • Viktor will probably force you to see a Broadway show with him, and you’ll probably end up going to a ballet, too
  • He will want to take so many pictures with you everywhere; he’ll post them all on Instagram and share his adventures with the one he loves most
  • omfg just please take him sightseeing please please i promise it’ll be lit as fuck and so precious
  • Besides all of the actives and such to do, Viktor will love nothing more than coming home at the end of the day and winding down in your home, just enjoying the time being spent with you

[Yuri Katsuki]

  • This small-town boy will be out of his element in such a big city, but it’s worth it to go see your beautiful face
  • He is going to be so overwhelmed with the amount of people and the loud noises that ring throughout the city tbh
  • and you know he’s going to be such a cute bean in his little mask to protect himself from smog and illness omfg
  • Yuri is going to be attached to your hip the entire time, holding your hand and basically molding his body against yours to make sure he does’t get separated from you
  • but like by accident you wandered away from him at a store and within five minutes he sent you fifteen texts and left like six voicemails ugh babe you’re precious but chill
  • He wants to visit an outdoor ice rink and take you skating because he figures it’s an easy way to have an excuse to hold onto you while you skate, but you don’t mind
  • Yuri mostly wants to just walk the streets with you and show you off, as well as visit all of the fancy and interesting restaurants to try new foods
  • He never quite becomes accustomed to the hustle and bustle of New York, but Yuri knows it’s worth it if he can see you

[Yuri Plisetsky]

  • Bringing this boy to New York would be utter chaos but probably one of the best decisions you could ever make honestly
  • He may or may not get into some fights with some passersby, depending on the mood he’s in
  • lmao but just saying he totally will try to fight with someone if they cross him and it’ll be hilarious probably
  • The first place he’s gonna want to go is definitely designer clothing stores
  • Chanel, Gucci, Prada, you name it and he’s fucking THERE
  • Shopping with you and buying you clothes would be the highlight of the visit, not to mention any fashion shows you manage to get into
  • and let’s be real you’re gonna basically have a new wardrobe by the time he’s through with you lmao
  • When it comes down to it, he really just likes spending time with you and dressing you up; he’ll surely be visiting you in New York way more often
Escape, for OQArtistWeek

This is a late entry for #OQArtist week, based this sexy manip of @starscythe *fans self* . I realize this is probably a bikini Regina is wearing, and this is probably a beach scene judging from the wet strands of hair, but Regina has this flawless movie star makeup on and she always seemed a bit too refined for beach sex. The facial expressions are so sexy and needy, I pictured something sweaty and intimate between two people desperate for one another. So I always saw this art as something quite different.

Thanks Bea as always. Betaing porn is hard, ya'all, and she betas it like a champ. I guess trigger warnings are in place. This is a hard M rating (shocking I know) and things get…intense.


It’s just coffee.

She repeats that every time they go out in these excursions.

They are coworkers, and it’s just coffee. Or in her case, tea. Just tea.

Coworkers drink coffee and tea together.

There’s nothing scandalous about that.

But coworkers don’t find whatever excuse they can to brush against one another. Coworkers don’t trade intimate details of their lives that they don’t even share with best friends, cry on each other’s shoulders, or spend the majority of the day stealing glances at one another. And coworkers definitely, definitely do not fantasize about one another.

So maybe she’s just a coworker to him, but he is absolutely more than that to her.

“He asked me to marry him,” she says quietly. She hates to bring it up, but Robin should know about the proposal. He’s her friend. Her best friend. The only person in this entire competitive, cutthroat network whom she trusts. Definitely the only person who honestly cares about her. But it’s not that, not just the fact that they are friends that has her feeling obligated to tell him about the proposal. He should know because of the way he looks at her.

The way they look at one another.

She watches his eyes fly to her naked ring finger. “What did you say?” He looks hopeful, as if she finally made the right decision. But he’s wrong.

“We’ve been dating forever, and I think there’s more positive than negative. I said yes.” She covers her left hand with her right. “The, er, ring is being resized.”

“Eight years and he doesn’t know your ring size,” Robin grumbles.

“Do you?” She asks defiantly. “It’s not something men know, unless you are in a habit—”

“A habit of buying jewelry for the woman you love?” he quips. “I assure you if I had proposed to you I’d know your ring size. I’d take one of your rings to the jewelers to match it. Or, Christ, a good jeweler could show you what each width looks like, and, I’ve held your hand enough to know what your fingers feel like from memory, so I'd—”

It’s a bit too honest, has her squirming a bit, because he’s right, absolutely right, he’s held her hand so many times, but also, this is wrong. Absolutely wrong. And what right does he have to criticize her decisions in her love life when he’s never tried to be a part of it?

“Sorry,” he breathes, “I should be congratulating you, I’m just… I don’t think he’s good enough for you.”

That’s… sweet, she supposes. And to be fair she’s shared her problems with Graham many times, so perhaps it’s understandable that Robin would feel this way.

“If there’s someone better, I haven’t found him.” Regina says, staring defiantly at him.

“Any man in his right mind would be over the moon to have you,” he whispers. It’s honest, too honest. But she’s made her choice, and this can never be, anyway. There’s a strict no fraternization policy at work. He’s technically her boss, so that’s an extra layer of forbidden, isn’t it?

“Let’s talk about something else,” Regina says, lifting a hand off the table to smooth her hair. “Something to make me feel… happy.”

He offers her a sad smile, and she knows it’s very telling that talk of a proposal is depressing her, but well, that’s the way it is, damn it.

He shifts the topic to their quirky coworker, and then they are laughing, exchanging jokes and smiles and touches as if nothing had changed.

Things go well until her phone pings. It’s a reminder chime, and she frowns, glancing down at it curiously. There’s nothing on the schedule for today that she can remember.

“Shit,” Regina grumbles, “Robin, there’s a meeting today. In 5 minutes.” She turns her screen to his.

He looks puzzled. “I swear I didn’t know anything about this, Regina.”

He grabs his phone and checks emails frantically. “Looks like it’s an emergency meeting to deal with the Army of God threats again.” He rolls his eyes.

“Anything I should be worried about?” Regina asks, sipping the last of her tea.

“No, no credible threats. But their leader is appearing on Fox today, and we expect him to give us and a few other organizations a bit of a shout out. You know how that goes.”

“Get ready for hate mail and death threats,” Regina says rolling her eyes and rising from her chair. “We are going to be late. We have to hurry.”

The meeting is on the fifth floor. She thinks he realizes what that means at the same time she does — right when they reach the elevator. The fifth floor meeting room is large, with glass walls that face the elevator. Everyone will see them walking in late, together, and that won’t do much for rumors that have already started about the two of them.

And really, with her occupation, it’s sort of assumed she will try to sleep her way to the top at one point or another. Who better than a media director often tasked with assigning high profile interviews to reporters like her?

“You take the elevator,” he says, with a frown. “I’ll use the back stairs.”

The back elevator and stairs are not to be used for anything other than moving in the high profile guests or interviewees that need and added layer of security. Robin is one of only a few with the code. And while he can’t use the back elevator (risk of being seen using a secured area) he can probably sneak up the stairs. No one really even knows that stairwell exists. It’s hidden and secure, designed that way for good reason.

Regina nods. “See you there.”

He smiles at her and rushes off, waving slightly as he goes.

And then she waits for her elevator as impatiently as one can possibly wait.

(She will look back on this day and thank god for the fact the elevator seemed to be stopping at every floor at a treacherously slow pace. Thank god that she figured she could use the exercise. Thank god it all, because she might have been dead had she waited for it. Instead, she’d opted for the stairwell. It was only five flights, after all…)

After what feels like an hour, but is only probably a few minutes, she turns towards the stairwell and decides to make up for lost time. She’s cursing her heels as she rounds the stairs to the third floor when the first explosion hits with a Crack and a Boom!

It’s so much noise, so loud it almost feels as if there’s no sound at all. Debris falls from the ceiling, covers her in dusty plaster and paint chips, and god knows what else, her head is spinning, ears are ringing, eyes burning as there is one thought going through her mind.

Robin.

The explosion reverberates everywhere in that stairwell, echoed and shimmied from every inch of the walls, and she doesn’t know where it came from, but god let it not have come from that secured stairwell. Not where they keep the high profile guests, where someone who is targeted might be hiding, please let him be alright.

She turns back to the third floor door and opens it. People are panicking, running towards her, a fire alarm is sounding, the emergency lights are flickering, and the crowd is shouting that she turn around, but she’s not listening, her mind is racing with hypothetical scenarios she wishes she could erase from her memory, heart nearly exploding at the thought of losing him.

Robin, please be okay, Robin.

She reaches the secured area in the back, elbowing past frantic people trying to push her away. But it’s mostly clear now. She hears some pop, pop, popping from above, isn’t sure what that is, what’s happening, and the ceiling above feels like it’s moving, giving out… will it collapse?

She reaches the back area, finds that secured back door, and knocks and screams. It’s still locked. She had held out hope that with the electricity going out maybe the electronic lock would fail and she’d be able to get to Robin.

But they must have a different power source. The code button is still there, gleaming red awaiting an electronic badge or code to be punched into the keypad below. And she has neither.

She has nothing but fists and her voice as she punches and screams.

“Robin! Robin!”

Robin is alive, Robin is okay. He’s resilient and smart and cunning and he’s a survivor and that’s what survivors DO. They survive.

These little pop pop pops sound closer and louder now, she still isn’t sure what it is, but it’s followed by more screams and that can’t be good.

There could be anything on the other side of this door, she very well knows that. There could be men with guns and suicide bomb vests on, Robin could already be dead, they could have used this stairwell to—

It really doesn’t matter to her, she’d gladly risk her life for that wonderful man. He’s everything to her.

“Robin, please!” She screams again. Her hands are bloody now, banging carelessly against an ungiving door.

Continue on FF.net

anonymous asked:

BUT do you honestly think Abby will get pregnant? is this a theory elsewhere? personally i'd love it!

first of all: love this question, wanna marry this question.

SECOND OF ALL: this is absolutely wild and borderline fanciful (perhaps even self-indulgent) speculation, but i’m having a total ball with this theory, so let’s unpack it. special shout out to @abigailkanes and @kane-and-griffin, who are both on this train as well. okay basically this is our three-way shared theory.

also for a fun flavour: there’s NSFW gifs under this read more, because the CW loves us very much and gave us just a stunning amount of kabby content to support this whole thing.

Keep reading

20 Questions for Ed Sheeran, January 25, 2017.
  • Interviewer: What's the most exciting thing in life right now?
  • Ed: Uh, the new album. Coming out third of March.
  • Interviewer: What are you completely tired of right now?
  • Ed: Uhh... I dunno. Walking Dead. I can't seem to get into it. I'm on season four and it's just, I haven't-
  • Interviewer: I'm there as well! Which episode are you on right now?
  • Ed: I'm on like episode five? They're all ill and they're coughing up blood, and-
  • Interviewer: Oh, yeah. It gets better though. Keep on watching it bro.
  • Ed: See, everyone's been saying that, but I've watched like sixty episodes now, and I'm like, I can't quite... so yeah, I'm trying to get through it.
  • Interviewer: What song took you the least amount of time to write?
  • Ed: Thinking Out Loud.
  • Interviewer: What's the first thing that you do when you get an idea for a song?
  • Ed: Uhh, I shut the doors and go away from people.
  • Interviewer: If you could teach one subject at a school, what would it be?
  • Ed: Music. I'm actually going back to teach music at my old school soon.
  • Interviewer: Beautiful, I like that. Did you ever have detention during growing up and going to school?
  • Ed: 'Course, all the time.
  • Interviewer: All the time? Every day?
  • Ed: All the time.
  • Interviewer: What's your favorite drink?
  • Ed: Uhhh... beer. Ale. Like ale. Good, good English ale. Does Finland do good ale?
  • Interviewer: I don't know about that. Not so good. It's okay, but I think it's better in England.
  • Ed: Yeah. You can't drink too much of it though 'cause it's so heavy, it just, I just fall asleep. So I have three and I fall asleep. But the first one is like... glorious.
  • Interviewer: What's your favorite food?
  • Ed: ...Fish and chips? I reckon. Fish and chips. If you give me a fish and chips and an ale, pfft, game over. That's my day.
  • Interviewer: That's perfect. That's heaven. What's one thing you need to have in your fridge always? No matter what-
  • Ed: Ketchup.
  • Interviewer: Ketchup? With fish and chips.
  • Ed: I've actually refused to eat fish and chips when there wasn't any ketchup. I just think it's a travesty.
  • Interviewer: I get that. What's your favorite movie of all time?
  • Ed: Goodfellas.
  • Interviewer: Oh that's a good one. Classic. Favorite TV show?
  • Ed: A show called Love/Hate actually. It's an Irish TV show, like Gangland Dublin. It's amazing.
  • Interviewer: What's the funniest thing you've ever read about yourself on the internet?
  • Ed: That I introduced Adele and her husband Simon. Um, 'cause I do - I now - know them, but like when that came out I, well I'd met Adele, but I'd never met Simon. So I don't know how I could've introduced them.
  • Interviewer: Would you love to work with Adele?
  • Ed: Yeah. I don't think anyone's going to work with Adele. I think Adele kind of doesn't want to work with anyone. I think she does her own thing. So yeah, I think I'd say yes but I don't think it would ever happen.
  • Interviewer: What's the best way to relax for Ed Sheeran?
  • Ed: Sleep. Always a good way, yeah.
  • Interviewer: That's what I do as well. Name one thing you can't live without.
  • Ed: Um. My cats.
  • Interviewer: How many cats do you have?
  • Ed: Two. And they're GREAT.
  • Interviewer: Are you thinking about getting a third one?
  • Ed: I think it'd be unfair. They're sisters, so if you add another cat into the mix it might get weird.
  • Interviewer: What scares you the most?
  • Ed: Uh, heights. Yeah.
  • Interviewer: Me too, I'm afraid of heights. Have you ever done a bungee jump?
  • Ed: I did, yeah. I hated it. Have you done it?
  • Interviewer: Really, you did it?! So you've probably beat that then.
  • Ed: No, no it's made it even worse. Even worse, yeah. Never do it.
  • Interviewer: Really? Okay, I'm not gonna do it then. Thanks for the tip man.
  • Ed: Oh god, I'm just remembering falling down that, like oh god, it was horrible.
  • Interviewer: What was your first job?
  • Ed: My first job, I worked in a pub. I washed, I did the washing up in a pub.
  • Interviewer: If you could travel to any place in the whole world, where would you go?
  • Ed: ...Iceland. Iceland again. I love, I love, I love Iceland.
  • Interviewer: So you've been there, like-?
  • Ed: Once. But it was one of the best places I've ever been to.
  • Interviewer: Have you ever been to Finland?
  • Ed: Yeah. I've been to Finland, yeah. I think I played a small show in Finland once.
  • Interviewer: If you were in a boyband, what would the band's name be?
  • Ed: Wrong Direction.
  • Interviewer: [Laughs] Wrong Direction, I love that. What's the best piece of advice you've ever received?
  • Ed: Always be nice to people.
  • Interviewer: That's cool. It works out every time. If you could work with any artist in the world, who would it be?
  • Ed: Beyonce. Beyonce. I have worked with her before, but not on an original song.
  • Interviewer: Could you name three things that make you happy right now? This Wednesday.
  • Ed: Uh, my cats. Pictures of my cats. And hearing about my cats. I like my cats. Three things.
  • Interviewer: [Laughs] What's the biggest no-no purchase you've ever bought?
  • Ed: No-no? Astin Martin. Astin Martin, yeah. I only drove it a couple of times.
  • Interviewer: Really?! How much was it?
  • Ed: It wasn't cheap. I feel like, I felt... I got it, and I felt cool. And then I felt like an idiot. I don't think sports cars are for me.
  • Interviewer: Do you still have it?
  • Ed: I do still have it, yeah. I let my manager's wife drive it. She uses it.

anonymous asked:

When I was reading the texts in Mary's phone, at first I thought that Dean was the one who said "I'm sorry you found out this way" and I instantly chocked in my coffee bc I thought he told her about how shitty his childhood was with Jhon as his father I almost died literally, I drowning in coffee

Congrats on not dying! Seriously, with the levels of both crack and pain this show manages to dish out almost every week, is a damn miracle any of us are still alive.

That is actually a conversation I’m very much looking forward to, but I’m expected to be disappointed. With everything that’s happened, the memory of John as this pure, sweet thing trying to coax baby Dean back to sleep is probably the one good thing Mary can still hold on to, and neither Dean nor Sam are about to take it from her. It’s actually weird, if you think about it - how in her book, she’s probably the freak there - the woman who couldn’t cook and wasn’t satisfied with motherhood and even John, dark-haired and goofy and sweet, was not enough - 

(sorry, got distracted for a second)

(hang on)

(goddammit, why are there were so many pictures of Matt out there? it’s bloody unfair - people are trying to get some work done and all)

- the last survivor of a long line of hunters, the one who’d check on her baby boy before slipping out of the house with a duffel full of weapons. After all those years thinking John was the problem in that marriage - his PTSD, his alcoholism, his bouts of rage, his need for control and obedience at all costs - it’s beyond whatever to have to rethink all that - to realize that probably all those fights they were having - yeah, it was the opposite way around. 

(And by ‘whatever’ I mean, I’m loving it so so much.)

So, I don’t know - if I were Mary, I’d probably want to know - I would have talked to anyone, read anything - than again, maybe it’s me, or maybe all fictional characters are by necessity a bit oblivious and embarrassingly incurious, because I don’t think Mary actually knows all that much. Maybe she simply can’t bear to, because she can see well enough (anyone could) how damaged and broken her sons are, and as to why they got that way - there are two kinds of people, right? Some they fear what they can imagine; others pretend everything is fine if they just don’t know.

As for Dean - underneath it all, it must be agony, because he’s seen so many versions of his mom, right? He’s met her in the past, and in Heaven, and in hallucinations and nightmares and fever dreams, and now she’s here, he’s not about to scare her away, especially considering she seems to be doing a fine job keeping her distance all by herself. Also, I like to think both Sam and Dean sort of made their peace with John at this point. It will never be right, the way they were raised, but there comes a moment in your life when you have to accept that people are flawed, and your parents probably did the best they could. And even if they didn’t, how could their lives possibly be any better if they stay mad at someone who’s long since dead? Both of them have plenty enough to worry about without bringing up anything John did to them, after all.

Still - as I said, I admit I was hoping for a lot more family talk this season. I’m a sucker for young!Dean and young!Sam, and what with Mary being back, I thought - yeah. Never mind. They’re doing a fine job ripping our hearts off ours chests as it is. 

WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE RUNNING OFF TO
  • Cashier: *waiting nervously at bus stop* Why is this stupid bus always so late. It's either early or ridiculously late. Why can't it ever be on time. Fuck. I'm so paranoid. I feel like I did something wrong. I should've checked on my co-worker. What if they're seriously hurt.
  • Old Man: You've been talking to yourself for about fifteen minutes straight, kid. I usually ain't one to complain, but I was enjoying the silence before you started whining.
  • Cashier: Eek! Where did you come from old man?
  • Old Man: Over yonder. *points at liquor store* I've been sitting in this here bus stop since before you arrived, but you kids today don't pay attention none. I could've gutted you in a second if I wanted to.
  • Cashier: Are you going to gut me?
  • Old Man: No. At least not now. *lets off a threatening chortle*
  • Cashier: Oh my god!
  • Old Man: I'm messing with you, kid. I'm a religious man and it ain't in me to even harm a fly. Holy lord! *violently stomps his foot on the ground*
  • Cashier: What's wrong!?
  • Old Man: There was a maggot there. I hate maggots. Damn things freak me out.
  • Cashier: You said you wouldn't hurt a fly, but you'll stomp on a maggot?
  • Old Man: Never said I was pro-life.
  • Cashier: *begins to walk away*
  • Old Man: Where ya going, kid?
  • Cashier: I can't trust you, old fucking man! I'd rather walk home then stand around with you.
  • Old Man: Good thing you told me you were walking home so I can follow ya there. *chortles*
  • Cashier: Shit! *starts running*
  • *streets lights burst and the old man screams*
  • Cashier: SHIT! *runs and hides in an alleyway* What the fuck is even happening to me? I shouldn't have left early. I should've checked on my co-worker. This is some form of karmic retribution.
  • ???: NO IT IS NOT, HUMAN.
  • Cashier: Who the fuck's there!? Where are you!?
  • ???: YOU CANNOT SEE ME BUT I CAN SEE YOU VERY CLEARLY. I CAN SEE ALL PERMUTATIONS OF YOUR FUTURE, AND NONE WOULD END WELL FOR YOU TONIGHT.
  • Cashier: What?
  • ???: IF NOT FOR MY INTERVENTION, THE OLD MAN WOULD HAVE BECOME INTERESTED ENOUGH IN KILLING YOU TO HAVE TRIED IT OUT. IF NOT, YOUR BUS WOULD HAVE COLLIDED INTO AN ONCOMING TRUCK, KILLING YOU INSTANTLY. AND LET US SAY THAT YOU DECIDED TO CHECK UP ON YOUR FRIEND AT YOUR PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT. WELL, IN THAT CASE YOU WOULD HAVE MET ME MUCH EARLIER. I AM NOT GOING TO PRETEND THAT I HAVE ANY GOOD INTENTIONS FOR YOU HUMAN.
  • Cashier: You're saying that I was doomed no matter what?
  • ???: HMM, NOT NECESSARILY. I WOULD SAY THAT YOU ARE IRREVOCABLY DOOMED AT THIS MOMENT, AS I HAVE TOTAL CONTROL OVER YOUR FUTURE AND NO INTENT TO LET YOU LIVE.
  • Cashier: But why? You don't have to kill me. I'm sure you could let me live.
  • ???: I AM HUNGRY. SORRY, BUT I ONLY GET TO ENJOY A MEAL ONCE EVERY FEW CENTURIES. THINK OF IT THIS WAY, AFTER I FINISH EATING YOU, I WON'T HAVE TO EAT ANYONE ELSE FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS. YOU ARE DOING SOMEONE ELSE A COURTESY TO WHICH I AM SURE THEY WILL BE VERY GRACIOUS.
  • Cashier: I don't care about anyone else! I don't want to die! Please, I have a family that will miss me!
  • ???: I DO NOT KNOW WHAT A FAMILY IS. GOODBYE, HUMAN. OR AS THE FANCIER HUMANS WOULD SAY, BONER APE TITS... I THINK.
  • *thousands of maggots crawl out of the shadow and onto the cashier's body meticulously chewing away pieces of flesh as they crawl along*
  • Cashier: No! It hurts! I don't want to die! Someone help me! Help!
  • Amorphous Blob: *watches quietly as the cashier froths at the mouth and quietly flails on the ground* HUMANS ARE SO MENTALLY FRAGILE. FEEDING OFF THEIR FEAR IS SO EASY. AS IF I WOULD EVER LET MY PERFECT CATERPILLARS CHEW ON DISGUSTING SULFURIC HUMAN FLESH.
  • Amorphous Blob: *burps* OH, EXCUSE-AND-MWAH. SUCH A DELICIOUS DINNER SEEMS TO HAVE MADE ME UNCOUTH. GOODNESS, I WISH MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER WAS HERE TO EXPERIENCE ME SPEAKING THE ROMANTIC FANCY HUMAN LANGUAGE TO HIM. *pops open locket containing picture of some guy*
  • Amorphous Blob: OH, MY ONE HUMAN LOVE. MY ONE REASON TO EXIST. HOW MY ICHOR QUIVERS FOR YOU SO. YOU ARE SO HANDSOME, SO GENTLE, SO KIND. I BELIEVE IN FANCY HUMAN LANGUAGE THEY WOULD REFER TO YOU AS "SAY MAGNET FEET". *sigh* I MISS YOU SO MUCH, MY DEAR.
  • Amorphous Blob: *slips locket back into its goo* BUT I MUST BE GOING NOW. I HAVE A MISSION I MUST COMPLETE. OFF I GO TO- *spots a woman's clothing store across the street* GOODNESS, THAT FACILITY LOOKS POSITIVELY GLAMOROUS. I WONDER IF I COULD... NO! I NEED TO STICK TO MY QUEST. I HAVE ALREADY TAKEN ENOUGH BEAUTY PRODUCTS TO KEEP MY VAIN THOUGHTS SATIATED. BUT... WHAT ARE BEAUTY PRODUCTS IF I DO NOT HAVE PRETTY CLOTHING TO COMPLIMENT THEM? IT WILL NOT HURT MY QUEST IF I TAKE THE SMALLEST DETOUR TO FIND SOME GLAMOROUS FASHION TO IMPRESS MY LOVE WITH.
  • Amorphous Blob: BESIDES, I AM A PRINCE. PRINCES HAVE TO LOOK GOOD. NO ONE CAN LOVE A PRINCE THAT LOOKS LIKE A COMMONER. *rolls towards the beauty store*
  • Cashier: *lies braindead and gargling on their own spit*
Keaton Henson sentence starters
  • "Do you know who you are?"
  • "Do you know your lip shakes when you're mad?"
  • "You don't like to be touched, let alone kissed."
  • "Does his love make your head spin?"
  • "It seems as though I'm on my own."
  • "I'm losing friends."
  • "I know that there's friction between me and you."
  • "I know that you're uncomfortable."
  • "I know it's hard for you to tell me the truth, but while we are doing so... I love you."
  • "You love to argue, you can't play guitar, but still, let me tell you that I love who you are."
  • "Love, I hope you are well."
  • "At least we now both have a story to tell."
  • "I feel you know me better than most."
  • "In spite of real distance, we'll always be close."
  • "I walked through the rain for you, you said to go home."
  • "Miss you terribly already."
  • "I hope for your life, you forget about mine."
  • "Please forget me, you were right, dear. I am cold and self-involved."
  • "I'll write my loneliness in poems, if I can just think how to start."
  • "I still worry more about you."
  • "I am rude and unkind."
  • "It's been four years and it does not end."
  • "I still felt alone, but I knew that you'd be there."
  • "I loved her more than I love myself."
  • "She is with another guy."
  • "I won't dance 'til you hold me."
  • "Please, don't leave me."
  • "I'm sorry, can't make your party."
  • "I'm afraid I'd kill your lover while your back was turned."
  • "So this is where you wanted to be, and it's a goddamn shame that you're not here with me."
  • "I see pictures now of the two of you and it makes me sick."
  • "Damn, I love you."
  • "Here's to you, you miserable fuck."
  • "Drink up, so we can both finally die."
  • "She's as stubborn as winter and as kind as the sun."
  • "Why was she listening to someone like me?"
  • "I know I'm awful, I can't even cry."
  • "You're my best friend, I'll love you til one of us dies."
  • "Teach me how to love you."
  • "I'll learn not to look at you with scorn."
  • "Don't expect me to change."
  • "I never loved you enough."
  • "This feels right and I'm letting it."
  • "I will not tire of you."
  • "Turns out that nothing is fair."
  • "You can leave me if you wish, but I'm not going anywhere."
  • "I am a fragile one."
  • "Please do not break my heart, I think it's had enough pain to last the rest of my life."
  • "You don't have to make any promises."
  • "If you must die, sweetheart, die knowing your life was my life's best part."
  • "I can see in your eyes that you mean it."
  • "All of these years you've been lonely."
  • "You are right, I've been looking as well, babe, I'm not looking for you."
  • "I'm just as damn disappointed as you."
  • "I'm truly alone and I like it."
  • "Though we're young, I feel eighty years old."
  • "Your arms around me are keeping me warm, but baby, I'm still feeling cold."
  • "You're kind and you're beautiful, too."
  • "I feel in some way I do love you but babe, I'm not in love with you."
  • "You seem to look through me, I wonder what you see."
  • "I wish I could stay with you."
  • "I wish I could wake at dawn to see you without make up on."
  • "You look the best today."
  • "I've been right here waiting for you to wake up."
  • "You think you're better than them."
  • "I hope you end up missing me."
  • "Your friends will always just be in your way."
  • "I'm just getting started, let me offend."
  • "The devil's got nothing on me, my friend."
  • "All I want is to be left alone."
  • "Sweetheart, what have you done to us?"
  • "Oh please, just come here, don't fight with me."
  • "Baby, please don't look at me like that."
  • "I will see you in the morning."
  • "Don't think of me like that, just picture me leaving and not coming back."
  • "This is your home now so don't you forget."
  • "I did it all for you."
  • "I'll do my best to teach you to fly."
  • "Come on baby, make me fall in love with you."
  • "I guess we can make it all the way."
  • "Turns out we don't belong after all."
  • "This feels different than it felt before."
  • "Guess that you were just expecting more, come on, you knew me, what'd you do that for?"
  • "I am selfish to my very core."
  • "I'm so damn scared of dying without you."
  • "Don't lie, I know we're fixing to die."
  • "I'll smile and pretend and won't show to the crowd."
  • "No, I won't be the damnedest bit fucking surprised."
  • "I won't give up, not until I'm holding you."
  • "Don't let go of my hand."

my cinderella wakes up with the taste of ashes in her mouth and thinks of her mother’s waning sickness. my cinderella has nightmares of watching her mother’s chest rising, a wheeze escaping her ribs. my cinderella does not cry about this, because she lives in the place fires begin.

her stepmother has perfect teeth and high eyebrows. “are you done sweeping?” she asks. “i need to see myself in my tiles.”

there are long days spent like this. sometimes cinderella gets caught on things. she spends four hours with a toothbrush swiveling in small circles, her whole body trembling. she thinks if everything is perfect, nothing bad will happen. if she checks the stove eight times, it will not poison her like her stepmother’s venom. if she lets the cat scratch her once a day, it will learn to love her. if she just gets these baseboards clean, maybe her father will come home to her.

the invitation comes when she is adjusting the pictures on the wall. it is announced with fanfare. her stepmother sends out the request for dresses instantly while cinderella watches, waiting.

“baby,” stepmother wakes her on the day of, “hope you know how long you’ll be working for today.” strokes her hair a little.

cinderella stares at her. doesn’t want to go to the ball, where people will be twirling around on floors someone else spent six hours polishing, where people will be careless in eating food someone else toiled over cooking. where people like her fade into the shadows.

when she opens her mouth, she says, “let me go, stepmother.” it is worth the look of shock and terror on that woman’s face to tell a lie. cinderella, after the slap, hides her face and smiles.

they leave trumpeting. her step sisters are cupcakes floating on shoes cinderella has sown together.

in the night, she rises from her bed and coaxes a little mouse onto her hands and snaps its little neck. 

boiling the fur of it off is easy. she feeds the bits to the cat, who twines around her feet. she takes the bones under the poplar tree and lays them out just-so. she says the words her mother used to know.

deep from the shadows comes the Fairy. pink and pretty with eyes that are totally empty. cinderella knows better than to look at them directly. “you summon me?” asks the ancient one. “what needs be done?”

cinderella does not want a ball. cinderella wants a night off. she explains slowly what she wants. she gives the Fairy three things: a needle. a fingernail. a strand of hair. the deal is done, midnight comes.

she dresses in her mother’s dress, hidden under the floorboards. it is beautiful, white, shines like a river. on her feet are no shoes at all. she wants to feel the ground that carries her, that has been tilled by people like her.

at the gates, they stop her. no carriage, nothing but a smile on her. but she’s so polite. so willing. has big fluttering eyelashes. lures the guards beyond the light of the castle’s torches. knows how to work a kitchen knife.

inside, she is blinded by the brightness of lamps on granite. everyone here is laughing. gliding. cinderella glides too, effortless without any shoes. 

her stepsisters hang off one another, have their arms draped off the prince. cinderella walks up. smiles. says the words her mother taught her. 

they erupt into screams. “needles” they howl, dancing in shoes cinderella made, “needles in my feet.” they bleed all over the floors someone worked hard for. “That,” says cinderella, “is one for me.”

the prince is without words. stepmother in her skirts tumbles as she skitters forwards. she is bubbling with improper language to speak in front of royals. on her hand is a nail chipped from slapping her stepdaughter. cinderella looks her in the eyes when she says the word. without a pause, violent scratches appear over her stepmother. she is torn open. 

“that,” says cinderella, “is for my mother.”

cinderella tips over candle sticks and sets things on fire. leaves them all with the taste of ashes in their lungs. turns. does not run. 

the prince follows. on his steps, as the clock strikes midnight, he finds a footprint in blood. he swears he will find whomever it belongs to if he has to try the shoes of every girl in the kingdom. 

but cinderella is no longer a girl. the last, a ring of cathair, has turned her into whiskers and a tail. she sits there, watching him in the light. she twines around his legs and purrs at him. he finds her white coat fascinating. 

she lives off of castle food for the rest of her life. sometimes, when she is bored, she bats all of the pictures straight in the front hall. 

nobody ever finds the girl. at the funeral of the stepmother, a white cat sits by the feet of the widowed man who was her father. he has nightmares of his first wife forever after. 

The 100 ways to say 'I love you' OTH edition
  • 1. "Always and forever."
  • 2. "I wanted you to fight for me."
  • 3. "Don't say I never gave you anything."
  • 4. "Hey, pretty girl."
  • 5. "I don't know what I'd do without you."
  • 6. "This is how I spent my summer, wanting you."
  • 7. "You are not allowed to quote from my letters."
  • 8. "You are not an idiot, not even close."
  • 9. "I needed to hear your voice."
  • 10. "Didn't you miss me while you were away?"
  • 11. "This is gonna work, right?"
  • 12. "When are we gonna get to that kissing part?"
  • 13. "I am the guy for you, ____."
  • 14. "You told me to fight for you and I did."
  • 15. "Please stay."
  • 16. "It means a lot to me to know you are here."
  • 17. "Why won't you ever just let me all the way in?"
  • 18. "I’ve given exactly two of these embarrassing speeches in my entire life, and they’ve both been with you."
  • 19. "I miss this, you know? Talking to you."
  • 20. "I need you to need me back."
  • 21. "Can I help you?"
  • 22. "I’m here for you forever."
  • 23. "You always make everything better for me."
  • 24. "Hoes over bros?"
  • 25. "You have me no matter what."
  • 26. "I wish you would've told me."
  • 27. "We made it, didn’t we?"
  • 28. “You think I need to see you with my eyes to know what’s going on with you.”
  • 29. "You're always saving me."
  • 30. "I can't live without you."
  • 31. "When all my dreams come true, the one I want next to me... It's you."
  • 32. "Nothing will happen to you, I promise."
  • 33. "It’s always gonna be there, isn’t it? Me and you?"
  • 34. "I sort of like you, you know that?"
  • 35. "I want all the same things you want."
  • 36. "I don't hate you."
  • 37. "Your art matters. It’s what got me here."
  • 38. "Or I can stay if you want."
  • 39. "I wanna have everything with you."
  • 40. "It didn’t mean anything."
  • 41. "It won't happen again."
  • 42. "That girl has been nearly impossible to find but worth every second of the wait."
  • 43. "Maybe I can wish something for you."
  • 44. "You look skinny as ever."
  • 45. "You deserve this."
  • 46. "You’ve taught me to trust."
  • 47. "You see the world in a way that no one else does."
  • 48. "You appreciate everything."
  • 49. "There’s no one in the world like you."
  • 50. "I like it when you get me."
  • 51. "I’m happy to be gotten."
  • 52. "You make sad look beautiful."
  • 53. "I realized how empty my world was without you in it."
  • 54. "Hey, gorgeous."
  • 55. "You don't know me well enough to judge me."
  • 56. "Actually, I feel like I do know you."
  • 57. "We’re us, _____."
  • 58. "You’re sexy when you play football."
  • 59. "You look even more beautiful than in my dreams."
  • 60. "You should know I plan on making every one of your dreams come true."
  • 61. "I could have held you in my arms forever and it still wouldn’t have been long enough."
  • 62. "I need you to get past this."
  • 63. "You are too amazing to carry this around."
  • 64. "Every song ends, is that any reason not to enjoy the music?"
  • 65. "Everything was so much simpler when it was just you and me."
  • 66. "I gotta be honest with you, I could never officially give you away."
  • 67. "Because my world is better with you in it."
  • 68. "I will always be there for you."
  • 69. "I will always protect you."
  • 70. "Can I stay with you tonight?"
  • 71. "I just don’t want to do anything to drive you away."
  • 72. "I don’t want to be that guy anymore."
  • 73. "I wanna be somebody that’s good enough to be seen with you."
  • 74. "We made it."
  • 75. "Thank you for believing in me."
  • 76. "I am not going anywhere."
  • 77. "I don’t ever want to lose you."
  • 78. "Till kingdom come."
  • 79. "But everything is better with you."
  • 80. "I miss you in forever ways."
  • 81. "I like you, more than you know."
  • 82. "You are the devil, aren't you?"
  • 83. "I do like waking up to you."
  • 84. "It's unbelievable how much I hate you."
  • 85. "They are great. So are you."
  • 86. "I promise you I’ll still feel the same way about you that I do right now."
  • 87. "I’m voting for her because of her heart and her spirit."
  • 88. "Do you know how terrible it is to be disconnected from your best friend?"
  • 89. "I could’ve loved the girl in this picture."
  • 90. "I'm gonna miss you most of all."
  • 91. "How can you not see that?"
  • 92. "I remember looking in that mirror and telling you how special you are."
  • 93. "Girls just want somebody to want them back."
  • 94. "What's underneath all the clothes?"
  • 95. "I wanted to come see you because I knew something was wrong."
  • 96. "Forgiveness is love, you know?"
  • 97. "You are the best thing that has ever happened to me."
  • 98. "It's absolutely your business."
  • 99. "My home is your home now."
  • And...
  • 100. "I love you, you know that?"
Howl's Moving Castle (2004 Film) : Sentence Starters
  • "I feel terrible, like there's a weight on my chest."
  • "Lets run!"
  • "Don't fight them, _______."
  • "Sorry, I've had enough of running away, _______."
  • "Now I've got something I want to protect. It's you."
  • "A heart's a heavy burden."
  • "I know I can be of help to you, even though I'm not pretty and all I'm good at is cleaning."
  • "Well, the nice thing about being old is you've got nothing much to lose."
  • "You, you sabotaged me!"
  • "What a pretty color."
  • "You completely ruined my magic potions in the bathroom!"
  • "Wow, _______, your hair looks just like starlight."
  • "Yeah, but no-one really believes that."
  • "Come on, it's not that bad."
  • "They say that the best blaze burns brightest, when circumstances are at their worst."
  • "I see not point in living if I can't be beautiful."
  • "I specifically ordered you not to get carried away!"
  • "I'm a scary and powerful fire demon!"
  • "There you are sweetheart, sorry I'm late."
  • "To me, it looked like the two of you were just leaving."
  • "I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't torment my friend."
  • "You're being so obedient."
  • "(S)he bullied me!"
  • "I'm your new cleaning lady."
  • "I can't stand the fire and gunpowder."
  • "I saw him/her do this once before when a girl/guy dumped him/her!"
  • "I'm just setting things up so all of you can live a comfortable life, _______."
  • "I have this weird feeling you're going to leave."
  • "I wonder what _______ disguised himself as?"
  • "After the war, they won't recall they ever were human."
  • "Those dopey guys have absolutely no manners."
  • "Here's another curse for you - may all your bacon burn."
  • "Knowing you'd be there gave me the courage to show up."
  • "It looks like your true love is in love with someone else!"
  • "It was a pleasure meeting you, even if you are my least favorite vegetable!"
  • "When I think of castles, it's not what I picture."
  • "When you're old, all you want to do is stare at the scenery."
  • "I've never felt so peaceful before."
  • "Seems everyone in this family's got problems."
  • "It's all so familiar yet I know I've never been here before."
  • "And while you're at it, make hot water for my bath."
  • "The mark maybe gone but the spell is still there."
  • "Don't worry, I'll follow behind you in disguise."
  • "I'm so sorry but that would be confidential information."
  • "Someone just told me you floated down into our balcony!"
  • "You shouldn't keep flying around like that."
  • "No one else does any work around here."
  • "I'm fatter than ever and yet the wind blows right through me!"
  • "Sorry, it looks like you're involved."
  • "_______ only does that to beautiful girls/guys."
  • "You sound ghastly, like some 90-year-old woman."

bizkwit  asked:

Hey Ross, I'm currently 15, a Junior in high school, and love to animate. I don't think going to an art institute/university is the right move though when I get out of HS - financially or for many other reasons. Community College is a huge possibility though, as it's less expensive and would still teach me more things about animation all together. For the most part, I believe animation can be a self-taught experience, but I'd like to hear your thoughts on this.

That’s great dude.  Don’t feel like you HAVE to go get an education in animation to succeed.  I tried it, but it wasn’t for me.  I found I wasn’t really learning enough compared to what I learnt just fiddling and making mistakes by myself.  I mean look at Arin, he didn’t even finish high school yet he taught himself  to be an animator.  Some people learn better being pushed by an education system, some are better left to figure things out for themselves.  If think you’re better going it alone then GREAT!  You’re an autodidact!



Here’s some stuff I’d recommend you focus on while getting started: 

  • Learn Flash or Toon Boom.  

  • Maya/3DS Max/Zbrush if you’re interested in 3D (I have a minor background with it)

  • Study life drawing and human anatomy.  Try this if you’re at a loss for material: http://www.posemaniacs.com/

  • Keep an organized folder of art reference (find it by following art tutorial blogs or your favorite artists).  I have gigabytes of reference in my folders.

  • Get your head around cinematography.  Watch legendary films and figure out what makes the shots great.  One exercise is to take your favorite shots and make silhouette thumbnails of how things are placed, helps you  break it down in your head.

  • Composition!  It’s crazy and even those who get it sometimes don’t get it.. but just look it up online to get your head around it.  It’s all about placement and arrangement of shit.

  • MAKE FRIENDS!  Talk to other artists like yourself who are starting out.  I met Arin online through Newgrounds when I was 16/17 and we’ve been friends ever since.  It’s important to have like minded friends!

  • Keep a sketchbook, draw all the time.  If you prefer doing it digitally then that’s fine, but keeping a sketchbook is a magical thing.  Also helps with your line confidence, at least I think so.

  • If you want to develop your own stories to go along with your animations, consider the following books: Screenwriting 101 (I LOVE this book, really great read AND it’s written by someone pretending to be The Hulk), On Writing: A memoir of the Craft (Stephen King!  Haven’t read this one yet but friends recommend it) and also Save the Cat! (this one is more so about selling scripts and writing to a formula, don’t take it as gospel.. But it’s interesting).

  • Voice act! Shit man, just get a decent microphone when you can.  Make goofy voices, do imitations.  Get silly!  Lots of animators have at least some experience doing voice acting!

  • WATCH STUFF.  Seriously, I can not stress this enough.  Everything is derivative from other works and that’s okay.  Inspiration comes from everywhere and anything.  My late friend Monty also preached this, he even proudly told me some of his early influence for RWBY such as Black Rock Shooter.  Finding influence breeds passion.  You’re not slacking off watching cartoons, you’re researching.

  • ANIMATE! Do it however you can!  Stop motion lego, flipping paper.. I don’t care.  Just do it. Whatever you learn, It all translates across any version of the medium.

  • ANIMATORS SURVIVAL KIT.  This book is a must and most animation schools highly recommend it.  It was written by Richard Williams the director of Who Framed Roger Rabbit (among other things).  If you’re not big on reading, then you’re in luck because it’s MOSTLY pretty pictures.  http://www.amazon.com/The-Animators-Survival-Richard-Williams/dp/0571202284

  • Lastly but not least.. Just don’t stop.  The people you see online and on TV right now, they’re not kicking ass because of some god given talent.  They’re there because they didn’t stop.  They persevered through it all and kept going, no matter what anyone else told them. 



Good luck!