if you dont love james potter then you should go to hell

‘cause when you walked into the room just then

theatre au collab with @alrightpotter. here’s her part.

a/n: lucie, my love!!! happy birthday!!! i’d want to know you if you reached peak gay or became buffy summers dog or could only eat car tires. i love you badly. id probably give up weetbix for you. have the best day in the world.


Godric’s Post                                                                              8th February 2009

Film: The Wind In the Whomping Willows
Director: Bathilda Bagshot
Plot Summary: 4 friends go for a picnic. Boredom ensues.

I’ve never liked Bathilda Bagshot, and yes this may have been because of an incident at one of my parents’ house parties where she literally hissed at me when I reached for another baked potato, but the point still stands. She continues rely on prolonged dialogue scenes that don’t move the plot along and stretch to the point of absurdity, until the viewer is begging for a change in scene, shot, anything, only to presented with (unbelievably) yet more boredom.  

So put aside whatever resentment you’re harbouring that I just name dropped Bathilda Bagshot and that she used to come to my house, and wallow in how wasted my Friday night was watching this garbage. My personal highlight was the closing credits, because it meant I could at last be free from this endless hell of four people sitting in a wood, talking about sandwiches and grass for two hours straight.

Naturally I imagine some people enjoyed the film, (Bagshot does know her way around a camera, I’ll give her that, the cinematography was flawless.) however dear, cherished, hopefully-subscribed-and-not-reading-this-on-the-free-trial-reader, I must ask: who doesn’t like a little during movie commentary? Before Friday I would have said no one, but after Friday I would have to say no one, with the exception of uptight, haughty gingers.

Rather like Penelope Clearwater’s unfortunate character in The Wind in the Whomping Boredom, I too found myself being falsely accused of a crime I did not commit. In Clearwater’s case (she shines in the film, despite Bagshot’s insistence she be holding a mirror in every scene) it was of stealing the picnic sandwiches. Mine was the slightly more serious charge of ‘injuring’ a fellow reviewer.

I want it stated for the record that no such injury occurred, and that as far as I am aware popcorn is rarely classified as an assault weapon, but I am willing to hear argument on the matter. However I could be wrong because the reviewer in question seemed to genuinely enjoy the Wind In the Whomping Waste of Time, so maybe it wasn’t her eye that should be examined, but her brain.

In summary: this film has done the impossible and been even more tedious than Bagshot’s last effort, A History of the Snake Inside Me, which I didn’t think possible. My nine-year-old criticisms rarely stand up to scrutiny but I think my judgement of Ms Bagshot being The Worst has proven correct. Furthermore, I want it noted for no particular reason at all that if at any point I am contacted by a lawyer about paying medical bills for a non-existent injury, I will do something else ‘ridiculous’ and ‘childlike’ like toilet papering a Certain Reviwers house or broadcasting my witty and hilarious movie commentary over a loudspeaker during each and every film I will ever attend from this point on.

(the editor Remus J. Lupin wishes to clarify for legal reasons that comments above are aimed at no particular individual, all wishes views presented are the writer and the writers views alone, and to please not sue the paper)


Godric’s Post                                                                                  3rd March 2009

Film: 101 Fantastic Beasts
Director: Newt Scamander
Plot Summary: CGI animals have a good time. Audience have a good time.

Scamander has always had a talent for animation, even his questionable films like Beasts Which Are Fantastic If Only We Knew Where To Find Them (nonsensical, long-winded title) and The Porpentina Goldstein Story (thought it was going to be about hedgehogs. It was not.) should be seen purely for their onscreen beauty alone.

Thankfully, 101 Fantastic Beats wasn’t a repeat of the Hedgehog Incident but rather exactly what it says on the tin, 101 Fantastic Beasts romping around the city and having a jolly good time, until one of them dies and the entire world becomes a bleak hell-scape that you are desperate to escape because you can’t stop crying.

Unfortunately my screening experience of this charming film was somewhat hindered by the near constant stream of insults and accusations of ‘eye assault’ from a Certain Reviewer which culminated in said reviewer tipping popcorn that Was Not Hers across The Innocent Victims Lap.

The reviewers in question needn’t have ever spoken again but because a Certain Reviewer had slandered another Wholly Blameless Reviewer in her paper, which the Wholly Blameless Reviewer’s Mother reads, some things had to be sorted out. And those things were trying to get the Certain Reviewer to print a retraction so the Wholly Blameless Reviewers Mother would stop bloody going on about it.  

On top of this Wholly Blameless was mocked mercilessly for showing emotion during what ranks as one of the most heart-breaking scenes of all time, next to such movie moments as the ending of Dead Poets Society and the shooting of Bambi’s mother in Bambi. Obviously a Certain Reviewer needs to borrow a heart so she doesn’t have to poke fun at others for having what she does not: feelings. Wholly Blameless would be happy to lend her some of his, as he’s just good like that and not at all the ‘slice of expired a*shole’ he’d previously been accused of being.

101 Beasts has heart (unlike Certain Reviewer’s) and is appropriate for the whole family excluding twelve year olds, because obviously they’re terrible and you’d never want to take them anywhere anyway, so it’s a win-win.

(The editor wishes to clarify that the writers list of saddest movie moments is flawed because it has left off the Jack death scene from Titanic because the writer thinks ‘Cameron clearly emotionally manipulated the audience’ and ‘there was plenty of room for both of them on that door’ because the writer is an imbecile. The editor cannot believe he is the film critic.)


Godric’s Post                                                                                  11th April 2009

Film: The Cupboard Under The Stairs
Director: Gilderoy Lockhart
Summary: You really don’t want to know.

Gilderoy Lockhart has won two Oscars, and yet every time I watch one of his films I have to forcefully remind myself that it wasn’t shot by a nine-year old with a camcorder who uses their dog as a sound assistant. The dullness of the film will stun and bewilder all who see it, as it defies reason why such a thing should be made.

True Hairy Chins Shouldn’t Be Seen By The Public was wildly funny (despite meaning to be a serious documentary), but aside from that I can’t think of a Lockhart film I’ve ever enjoyed aside from classics like Gadding With Ghouls and Travels With Trolls which hardly look like Lockhart films at all, despite him having directed them.

Cupboard Under The Stairs is so mind-blowing ridiculous, from the wooden dialogue to the extended shots of director and star Lockhart doing mind-numbingly boring tasks while smiling garishly, that when I found myself sitting next to a Certain Reviewer I didn’t even bother to move but rather stayed if only to have something to do. A slight physical fight broke out, and by fight I mean a Certain Reviewer hit me for a comment I made about the twenty second long director credit, so obviously I pinched her, and then before I knew what was happening we had been thrown out.

I don’t want you to think, dear reader who has clicked on this review and therefore pays my rent, that I might have acted unprofessionally by getting thrown out a movie twenty minutes in. I want to clarify: I absolutely acted unprofessionally. There is no ‘might’ about it. But my point still stands: the film was garbage, and that fact that I could tell this from only the first twenty minutes is further evidence of its garbagery.

Now I know at this point you’re all clambering to hear more about the two hours I spent alone with a Certain Reviewer, as for some bizarre reason, you’re all incredibly interested in our relationship built off pure loathing and irritation. Well, prepare yourselves readers, because a Certain Reviewer’s favorite filmmaker is not only Wes Anderson (!! There should be a limit to the amount of pastel on a screen at one point). But she also hasn’t read the best novel of all time, The Great Gatsby, and then told me that that ‘wasn’t that weird’ and asked me to ‘close my mouth’ because ‘its been two minutes’ and its ‘getting weird’.

However she did earn points back by liking Star Wars (if she hadn’t, I may have committed a crime worse than Cupboard Under the Stairs’ acting) and she also noted that Leonardo DiCaprio in Romeo + Juliet was her sexual awakening, and I to felt a deep attraction to DiCaprio and still do despite his insistence on growing a beard every few years. She laughed at this, but I think it was a laugh of agreement, so therefore it wasn’t bad.

Cupboard Under the Stairs was one of the worst atrocities committed to film, but a Certain Reviewer agreed that Han shooting first was an important part of his character, so all is not wrong with the world.


Text from James Potter to Sirius Black: do u think i look like leonardo dicaprio

Sirius Black: no

Sirius Black: is this bc evans said she liked him

James Potter: absolutely not


Text from James Potter to Remus Lupin: do i look like leo dicaprio

Remus Lupin: firstly, dont call him leo

Remus Lupin: and secondly, obvsly not

Remus Lupin: no two people have ever looked more different

James Potter: fuck u


Text from James Potter to Peter Pettigrew: do i look like leo dicaprio

Peter Pettigrew: no u look like u have a thing for evans

Peter Pettigrew: sirius told me to say that

Peter Pettigrew: whos evans

James Potter: do u not even read my fuckin column pete

Peter Pettigrew: it costs four pounds a week to subscribe to ur shitty paper i don’t have that kind of money


Godric’s Post                                                                                     3rd May 2009

RED CARPET WATCH

The Godric’s own Sirius Black, gossip columnist extraordinaire, was sent to the Red Carpet premiere of A Streetcar Named the Knightbus and reported back to us on all the hot gossip and glamour of the night.

In what may have been my favorite red-carpet to date, not in the least because Rita Skeeter was thrown out for badgering guests only ten minutes in, but because the greatest thing in the world happened. It was so great in fact, that I managed to look past the colossal injustice of me not being invited to walk the carpet myself, which was clearly a mistake (the editor Remus J Lupin would like to clarify it was not) and have a roaring good night.

May I just clarify that by roaring good night I mean I got absolutely plastered (The editor wishes to state that The Godric does not promote drinking) so the night comes back to me in bits, and from what I can remember everyone looked great. I can’t remember what the film was about, or even if they let me in (editor: they did not.) but even if it wasn’t I’m sure the film was good too. (editor: it was average)

But as I mentioned above, the best thing in the world happened, and that was that The Godric’s very own film critic James Potter got to walk the red carpet. He will tell you this is because his insightful and poignant columns are finally getting the attention they deserve. Any sane person would then loudly talk over him and say the real reason is because he’s become rapidly more popular with the introduction of a Miss Lily Evans, also a film critic, into his weekly reviews. Or, as James calls her, A Certain Reviewer. (editor: for legal reasons the editor must assert that A Certain Reviewer could be any individual and to please not sue the paper for defamation.)

Turns out Miss Evans had a popularity boost as well, because she was also on the red carpet, looking ravishing in a backless teal ballgown, and honestly, readers, it was a sight to see Evans in that dress. Potter obviously thought so to, as he spent the entire night staring. And not subtle staring. Obvious, in-awe, I-can’t-believe-a-person-can-look this-good, staring.

Now, once I’d gotten over the fact that not once in our ten-year friendship had James ever given me that look, I was absolutely thrilled. I had a thirty pound bet going that they’d be together by May and I’d just won, if that look was any indication. (the editor: it was twenty pounds.)

Furthermore, Evans and Potter spent the entire night talking, not even noticing how the cameras had utterly latched on to them despite having no idea who they were, purely based on the looks they were giving each other. It was a sight to behold, seeing two utterly oblivious people in formalwear hold a conversation probably about the merits of dressing gowns (they talk about weird stuff like that) while what felt like the entire world took photos.

Now I’m aware I’m meant to be discussing the gossip and glamour from the whole night and not just two D-list celebrities who happen to both be my friends. But consider this: I do not care. These photos are modern art. Both so clearly have a crush on each other it’s embarrassing. Even Moony would have to agree (the editor: I do.). Anyway, in summary of the night: I bet everyone reading this that they’ll be screwing in a month. Mark my words.

[image: a man in a suit and a woman in a dress, against a while backdrop with A Street Car Named the Knightbus film logo printed across it. Her head is turned towards him, laughing, holding a delicate purse. He is looking at her, mouth parted, like she is the first girl he has ever seen. Something to be looked at just to make sure she didn’t disappear, blown by the wind, like in a dream. A dream girl- except not. A real girl, in a real dress, in a real place. He can’t quite believe it. A hundred camera flashes go in the background.]


Text from Sirius Black to James Potter: so whens the wedding

James Potter: i fuckin hate u


Sirius Black renamed the group james’ got the hots for evans

James Potter: this is cyber bullying

James Potter: im calling netsafe

Remus Lupin renamed the group netsafe cant help the fact that ur in love with evans

James Potter renamed the group stop now

Sirius Black renamed the group not a chance mate


Sirius Black created the Facebook Page Lily Evans and James Potter should get it on

This page received 17,798 likes.


Text from Lily Evans to Sirius Black: im going to fucking maim u. take it down.

Sirius Black: sent a link

Lily Evans: if that’s a link to the fucking page i will cut your balls off

Sirius Black: its not

Sirius Black: on an unrelated note do not click on that link it is a virus I just remembered


Remus Lupin created the Facebook Page Lily Evans and James Potter should get it on part two because lily made us delete the last one

This page received: 21,104 likes.


(don’t forget to check out ellie’s part here)

I Think We're In Trouble

Part 3 to “A Muggle?/It’s Me”  Part 1   Part 2

Word Count: 1,648

***************************************************************************************

It had been much, much too long since Y/N had been able to spend any time with Remus, so when the boys invited her to Hogsmead one snowy Saturday morning, she politely declined, deciding to spend the afternoon in the library instead. Remus also decided to stay back, hoping to get some time with her. He was glad that the marauders liked her, and that she was fitting in at the school-Everyone who met the girl loved her. She made friends wherever she went- but Remus missed his best friend. Y/N’s eyes lit up when she spotted the lanky boy strolling into the library. “Rem, I thought you guys were going to Hogsmead?” She asked as he took a seat next to her. “Figured I’d stay back and spend some time with my favorite girl,” he shrugged, earning a smile from the girl. “Well, what do you say we find a really good book, and then go back to the common room and read it together?” She suggested. “I couldn’t think of anything better,” Remus smiled, standing up. After several minutes of searching, they agreed on a book, and headed back to the Gryffindor common room. When they arrived, however, they found that many people had stayed back to escape the snow, so they went up to the marauder’s dorm instead.

Keep reading

Rereading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: Chapter Seven - The Slug Club

To his slight annoyance, however, neither Ron nor Hermione seemed quite as curious about Malfoy’s activities as he was; or at least, they seemed to get bored of discussing it after a few days.

um maybe bc u talk abOUT HIM ALL THE TIME?? no one wants to hear about ur boyfriend anymore, OK???

“He’s a Death Eater,” said Harry slowly. “He’s replaced his father as a Death Eater!” 
There was a silence; then Ron erupted in laughter.

when i first read this my reaction was pretty much the same as rons. now im just like U SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO HIM U IDIOTS!!!!

- peeps r still bullying my girl fleur and im not here for it ONE BIT

- ugh like i know how crazy harry sounds when hes talking about draco but like its so frustrating reading about him trying to warn mr. weasley and no one taking it seriously JUST TAKE HIS GODDAMN VANISHING CABINET OK

He tapped Ginny on the shoulder.
“Fancy trying to find a compartment?”
“I can’t, Harry, I said I’d meet Dean,” said Ginny brightly. “See you later.”
“Right,” said Harry. He felt a strange twinge of annoyance as she walked away, her long red hair dancing behind her; he had become so used to her presence over the summer that he had almost forgotten that Ginny did no hang around with him, Ron, and Hermione while at school.

tbh i could care less about ginny and harry but this is lowkey rly cute

- NEVILLE AND LUNA ARE HERE YALL!!!! we dont have to sit awkwardly by ourselves anymore!!!!

- am i the only one who thinks its cute that nevilles grandma is super roud of him for breaking laws and busting baddies?

“I liked the D.A.! I learned loads with you!”
“I enjoyed the meetings too,” said Luna serenely. “It was like having friends.”

luna let me love you.

“Hi, Harry, I’m Romilda, Romilda Vane,” she said loudly and confidently. “Why don’t you join us in our compartment? You don’t have to sit with them,” she added in a stage whisper, indicating Neville’s bottom, which was sticking out from under the seat again as he groped around for Trevor, and Luna, who was now wearing her free Spectrespecs which gave her the look of a demented multicolor owl.
“They’re friends of mine,” said Harry coldly.

remember that time when harry was all super super embarassed when cho saw him sitting with neville and luna? look how far our bb has come, grown into a nice lil man now, hasnt he?

“People expect you to have cooler friends than us,” said Luna, once again displaying her knack for embarrassing honesty.
“You are cool,” said Harry shortly. “None of them was at the Ministry. They didn’t fight with me.”
“That’s a very nice thing to say,” beamed Luna.

WHY IS THIS SO CUTE THO forrealz i would have preferred harry ending up with luna rather than ginny (is this a really upop opinion? am i gonna be roasted for this??)

- im still shook about how the prophecy could have been talking about harry OR neville. shit keeps me up at night.

- LOL marietta still has ‘sneak’ pimples on her face and me and harry thinks its hilarious 

- brb gonna go vom, cormac mclaggen is here

- lol this slug club lunch is so fucking awkward. slughorn is just name dropping while everyone else quietly nods, looking for a way to leave

- harry is risky AS HELL boi just jumped on top of the luggage shelf in dracos compartment liiiiike he knew damn well this was gonna go wrong. im reading this part cringing waiting for his sneaky ass to get caught

- omg draco is laying in pansys lap while she plays with his hair and like i always joke that they were lowkey hooking up but like its canon right???? THIS IS SEXUAL

- aaaand harrys face got busted. like ya he shouldnt have been snooping on draco but thats so fUCKED that he broke harrys nose while he was paralyzed like goddamn thats icy

WELP if you liked this, follow me for more chapters!

The Slumber Party

Pairing : Young Sirius Black x Reader

Originally posted by cute-guysxx

I remained totally off for the first two weeks of my holidays. Sirius sent me a few letters to which I didnt reply. And he stopped writing.I cried myself to sleep for so many nights, that I lost count. This was so unfair!

I was hopelessly in love with Sirius Black. We were betrothed, and were meant to be, and all that, and it made me so jealous and angry that he actually allowed Marlene to kiss him.

“Rotten bitch” I cursed thinking about her.

My parents were worried about me and this new depression I was in. Mum asked me why I didnt meet or write to Sirius, and got grunts and growls for replies.

“(Y/N), just sort out your issues with Sirius” Mum said. “Its not very nice to hold grudges !”

“I dont care what anyone thinks, Mum !” I said. “Hes the only one who can actually do anything about it !”
Mum gave me a confused look before leaving my room.

I got a letter from Lily Evans towards the final week of our holidays, saying that shes having a slumber party at her home and that she wanted me to go. Lily and I were friends before my betrothal to Sirius, and I felt guilty that I didnt write to her all summer.
Mum was really glad about this party, of course.

“This is great, (Y/N)! Go on, have fun with your friends! It will help you get your mind off things” she said.

But Mum was right, I desperately needed something to take my mind off him. Maybe this party was a good idea after all.
I wrote to Lily that I will go.

                                 * * *

Dad took me to Lily’s house on the day of her party.
“(Y/N), come on ! Alice and Mary are already here !” said Lily, dragging me inside.

“My parents and siser are out visiting my grandparents” said Lily with an evil grin. “So we have this house all to ourselves tonight !”
“And why do I feel that theres more to that smile ?” Alice asked suspiciously
“Oh nothing! ” said Lily. “Really!”

None of us trusted her on that. But it was nice to be so free and relaxed. I was beginning to enjoy it.
We were all sitting around doing random things and talking about our miserable lives, when we heard a knock on the door.
Lily sprang up from her bed, and ran downstairs.

“What is she upto ?” I asked, feeling frightened.
“I have no clue” said Alice, and we followed her down to the living room.
Lily opened the front door, and in came a familiar face.
“James !!” She squealed, launching hereslf into his arms.

And it was not just James. Sirius stepped in behind James, and his eyes fell straight on me.There was complete silence in the room as we stared at eachother.

“Surprise !” said Lily, and then fell silent. She turned to Sirius with a self satisfied smile and said “ How do you like your surprise Sirius?”

I saw James swallowing cautiously, his eyes darting between me and Sirius.
Sirius’ smooth black hair was all out of place. And it looked so cute on him. ANYTHING looks cute on him. He wore a black shirt, and a pair of jeans, looking absolutely gorgeous.

I saw James whispering to Lily, and she looked at me with wide eyes.
“I swear I thought this was a good thing” she said, raising her hands to us.
Alice and Mary looked so shocked, they didnt move at all. Only their eyes moved between us.

Sirius took a step towards me.
There was an excrutiating silence in the room, and my ears seemed to ache because of it.

“(Y/N)” I loved the way he said my name. But I didnt let that affect me.

“Lily, Im tired. I need to sleep” I said to Lily, trying to sound stern.
“Sure (Y/N)” said Lily, and I began climbing the stairs to the room she had shown me before.

I saw Sirius’ face. He looked angry.
And the next thing I knew, he was coming after me. I ran. He ran behind me. I stumbled through the hallway, Sirius close behind me.
We wrestled with the door, but of course Sirius won - he was far more stronger than I was.He stepped in and locked the door behind us.

“Open that door RIGHT NOW” I said, feeling a bit scared.
“No” said Sirius standing in front of the door, arms folded tightly.
“Dont you play your games with me, Black” I said, anger rising.
“Is that how its going to be, (Y/L/N)?” said Sirius, calmy with a smile playing around his lips.
“You are just an arrogant ass, you know that ? Dont even think for a second that I dont get your tricks !” I spat.
“How dare you speak to me like that ?!” he hissed at me, a storm flashing in his eyes.

With that, he dashed towards me.
I moved back in reflex, falling into the bed, looking around desperately.
I saw my wand sticking out from the corner of my bag. I grabbed it, and pointed it at Sirius’ face just as he reached me.
All this action made my summery dress fly, and I immediately put a  hand on top of my skirt, my cheeks burning.

“Dont make me hurt you” I said in a small voice.
“You might as well do that, (Y/N). Its better than what you’re doing to me now !” snapped Sirius.

I felt bad hearing that.
And in a swift movement, Sirius seized my wand, and threw it across the room, and came forward, grabbing hold of my wrists and pushing me against the bed.

“Get off me, Sirius !” I yelled, pushing back at him. “Why dont you go back to your Marlene and tackle her ! She might not fight you back !”
“Are you crazy ?!” cried Sirius.
“I saw her kissing you ! And I saw that it amused you a lot ! Dont start lying ‘coz Lily saw it too !”
“What the hell, (Y/N)?!”

My hands were in pain from his strong grip, but I dint give in.

“(Y/N), I didnt know that she fancied me ! I’ve known her since we were babies !” said Sirius. “I WAS kinda surprised to think that she thought that way !”

I stared at him, my hands weakening.
“Do you know what I told her ?” he asked softly, his eyes locked with mine.
“What did you tell her ?”
“Nevermind” said Sirius distractedly, and letting go of my wrists.
He straightened, and put his hands into his pockets, and I sat up on the bed.

“I dont want to be friends, (Y/N)” He said.

I stared at him.
What did I just do ?
Pain gripped at my heart and I felt tears stinging my eyes.

“I want to be more” he said slowly.
A tear rolled down my cheek, as the pain turned to something else, and I stared at Sirius.

He came closer now, and sat on the bed, next to me, as tears cascaded down my face. He wiped them with his fingers, and whispered, “Would you like that ?”
I looked at him as he gave me a soft smile. I nodded in between sobs.
“Say it” he said coming closer.
“Yes, I want that” I said, and felt the heat rising to my face.

He smiled widely, and looked absolutely divine. He leaned forward, and I felt his soft warm lips touch mine. It was a sweet kiss at first. The second one was bigger. And then he kissed me so deeply, my head spun in its magic. His arms went around my waist and soon I was lying on my back and him on top of me, kissing.

After our first ever make out session, we lay side by side on the bed, my head resting on his chest, and his arm around me.
“Sirius” I said.
“Mhmm”
“What did you tell Marlene ?”
“I told her that I was in love with you” A smile spread on his face as he looked at me.
“I love you, Sirius ”
I love you too, (Y/N)“

After a bit more cuddling, I sat up and said ,” I think we should tell them that we are ok"
Sirius laughed.
“You should’ve seen Lily’s face !” he said, laughing.
“Shut up ! This happened because of her !”
“True that”

Lily, James, Alice and Mary were playing some game as we came down the stairs, hand in hand.
“Well would you look at that!” commented James, with a smirk.
Lily and the others smiled at us as we came forward.
“Wanna play ? We can start over!” said Lily.
“Yeah ! ” I said and we joined them in their game.
This was the best slumber party ever !

How you meet-(Marauders Preferance)

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!!

Remus Lupin

It was a cold and dreary winter day and there was no better way to sped it than reading in the library. Some of the shelves were quite high, therefore causing a problem. I wanted a book off of the highest shelf but there was no possible way of reaching it since I was short and I left my wand in my dorm. Suddenly, and idea popped into my head and I placed my foot on the boottom shelf. Reaching up, I grabbed one of the higher shelves and pulled myself up. Sometimes climbing was your best bet. Well, it was until I reached out to grab the book and my hands slipped off of the shelf. A small shriek escaped my lips as I tumbled backwards, causing both the books and myself to fall to the ground.  Groaning, I sit up and shove some of the boooks off of me as I hear someone laugh behind me. Blushing, I turn and look and wow….. he was very hot.

“Hey there, need some help?” I nod and, with a mutter and a simple flick of his wand, all of the books go flying back into their place. I blush even more as i mutter a thank you.

“Anytime. Im Remus by the way, maybe we could study sometime together. It would be great to get to know a pretty girl like you.”

Originally posted by imaginesforlifetime

James Potter

There was a huge crowd gathering in the court yard and i could hear cheers and yelling but I had absolutely no idea what was going on. Since it’s my free period, I have nothing better to do than see whats happening.

Walking at an even pace, I made my across the grass and to where everyone was gathering. As I got closer, I saw that someone was being dangled in the air by their foot. Gasping, I pushed my way through the now large crowd only to see James Potter and Sirius Black standing in the center of attention. James had his wand out and the poor boy that was being held up in the air turned out to be Severus Snape. 

“Stop it!” Yelling and stepping in front of the two boys, I trid to get James attention. “Stop you pretentious git!”

James attention snapped to me and I heard a thud behind me, concluding that Severus had fallen to the ground.

“And why should I stop? Why shouldn’d I put that filthy SLytherin right back in the air? Are you two dating or something?” James smirked and earned a snigger from Sirius.

“ You should stop because it’s rude and he doesn’t deserve it! No, he’s not my type so I would never date him, just like i would never date a selfish and ignorant prick like you!”

James winked and responded, “We’ll see about that sweetheart.”

Originally posted by theflavourofyourlips

Siruis Black

It felt so good to be back for my fourth year of Hogwarts after a long summer. It was dinner time and the great hall was full of chatter and excitement. Glowing candles were floating over everyones heads and all of the ghosts were floating around and welcoming the students back. Walking along the Gryffindor table and on the way to the (Y/H) table, I suddenly feel something hit the beack of my head. Reaching up, my fingers come in contact with was seems to be the remnants of a cauldron cake. I turn sharply on my heel, searching for the culprit who wasted a perfect treat and ruined my hair. 

My eyes land on none other than Sirius Black. That cocky bastard. 

“What the bloody hell, Sirius?!” I yell out as the entire great hall goes silent,

“(Y/N), that wasn’t meant for you. I was aiming at someone else!” Sirius yelled back, now standing.

“Well it didn’t hot that someone else, it hit me!” I was so angry that I thought I could feel smoke coming out of my ears.

“I’m really sorry. Come with me on a date to hogsmeade so I can make it up to you.” 

Originally posted by spaceythangs

Peter Pettigrew

you dont even want to meet him because he only betrays the ones he supposedly loves and cares for

Just a Quick Kiss

My contribution to @hpshipweeks. This is the long-awaited part 2 to my fake dating AU found here. I don’t think you need to read it to understand what’s going on (but you should read it anyway =P).

Lily decided the hardest part of fake-dating James Potter was dealing with how clingy he was.

“You do realize we don’t have to spend every second of the day together, right?” Lily huffed as she left bathroom only to find James diligently waiting for her. It was a blessing he hadn’t followed her in.

“Yeah, but you’re my girlfriend now,” he said loudly, causing quite a commotion among the third years nearby. He had gotten into the habit of announcing to everyone, everywhere, all the time that he was dating Lily. That, combined with the fact that he wouldn’t leave her alone, was almost enough to come clean and take a failing grade. Almost.

“If we were—,” she paused, pulling James close to her so no one could overhear. “If we were really dating, I would have dumped you already,” she hissed.

“Lily, darling,” James whispered, attempting to slide her backpack off her shoulder. She glared at him so he settled for wrapping an arm around her instead. “I’m pretty sure that’s why we’re not actually dating.”

She absolutely did not react to his breath on her ear. And even if she did, it was because it tickled.

“I’m just saying.” She adjusted her position so she was comfortably leaning against James. He smelled like leather and spice and James. “No one will doubt our love even if we don’t spend all our free time together.”

“You’re forgetting one key thing, though. I’m James Potter. I spend all my time with the people I care about,” he said, staring straight at her. Lily’s heart flipped at his earnestness which was… not good. She knew he was only saying that because there were people around; he didn’t mean he actually cared about her.

As though they timed it—and, really, Lily wouldn’t put it past them to have done so—Sirius came bounding out from nowhere and bellowed, “Prongs! There are you! Been looking all over for you.”

“You saw him 10 minutes ago,” Lily said flatly.

“Far too long, Evans,” Sirius replied. “I thought he died.”

“Nah, I was just waiting for Lily,” James replied, squeezing her shoulder when he said her name. “I think she was trying to give me the slip but it didn’t work.”

“Clearly,” Lily muttered.

“That’s not very nice,” Sirius said. “You should kiss and make up.”

“Shut up, Padfoot,” James mumbled as his face turned a light shade of pink. Sirius, Remus, and Peter all knew about their charade because apparently James was incapable of keeping anything from them. Instead of it being helpful, though, they spent a lot of time trying to get James and Lily to kiss. Lily honestly wouldn’t even mind giving him a small peck or two in public but for whatever reason, James would always get awkward and annoyed and vehemently turn down the idea.

“Prongs!” Remus was walking toward them excitedly. “Where have you been?”

Lily waited patiently as they had pretty much the same conversation with Remus. She would have thought the marauders would be more creative.

By the time Peter came bursting out, crying at James’ feet at the thought of his dead friend, Lily was very much done with the four boys.

“You need to get lives,” Lily said.

“Admit it, Evans,” James said with a wink. “You love me.”

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1.5k! This is so amazing guys, i never would have thought reaching this many followers! thank you so much for following me, that means the world to me!

mutuals // fav

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Rereading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: Chapter Twenty-Eight - Snape’s Worst Memory

- OK HOW MANY MOTHERFUQING EDUCATIONAL DECREES IS THIS BITCH GONNA MAKE?

- is it just me or is ernie macmilian a douche

- the inquisitorial squad has literally THE DUMBEST NAME why? who chose this? lets be real, theyre just mad they werent invited to dumbeldores army

- draco literally just took 10 points from gryffindor because hermione is muggleborn. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK 

“He never managed to get all the words out,” said Fred, “due to the fact that we forced him headfirst into that Vanishing Cabinet on the first floor.”

HMMMM I WONDER IF THIS WILL EVER COME UP AGAIN?? probs not right??? jkrowling is cleverclevercleverclever.

“Well, now -” said George.
“ - what with Dumbledore gone -” said Fred.
“ - we reckon a bit of mayhem -” said George.
“ - is exactly what our dear new Head deserves,” said Fred.
“You mustn’t!” whispered Hermione. “You really mustn’t! She’d love a reason to expel you!”
“You don’t get it, Hermione, do you?” said Fred, smiling at her. “We don’t care about staying anymore. We’d walk out right now if we weren’t determined to do our bit for Dumbledore first.”

forever and always deeply in love with fred and george. 

- filch is legit getting hot and bothered over the fact that umbridge is gonna let him start torturing kids and harry has no reaction lol just classic filch!

- she also wants to expel peeves and like LOL PLZ TRY I’D LOVE TO SEE HOW THAT WORKS OUT FOR U

He raised the cup to his lips and then, just as suddenly, lowered it. One of the horrible painted kittens behind Umbridge had great round blue eyes just like Mad-Eye Moody’s magical one, and it had just occurred to Harry what Mad-Eye would say if he ever heard that Harry had drunk anything offered by a known enemy.

CONSTANT VIGILANCE!!!!!!!!!!! bitch. 

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anonymous asked:

Jily soul mate tattoo au.. sry if you've already done this

sorry it took me forever to post this i procrastinate too much with writing also i hope this isn’t bad 

plot: all wizards and witches have a mark on their wrist of the patronus of their soulmate, this is a jily fic based off that

……………………………………………………………………………………


James Potter’s hair was just too damn distracting.

               Separate clumps of it flew in different directions as though they were competing for who would fly off his scalp first, and it seemed that none of them would never win. And the fact that it was stark black just seemed to illuminate his skin a little too well. And his eyes seemed to do that too. And it was a bit cute how the git would never stop fiddling with things in every free second he had, as though he couldn’t bear to waste any second not meddling in something. And how the blue of his veins popped against his skin whenever he wrote with his quill. And how whenever he got especially involved with an essay he would look at his parchment with a frown on his face as though he disapproved of his work then tuck his quill behind his ear, lean back in his chair, cross is arms, and just think. And how-

               “Are you still awake, Evans?”

               Lily felt like she had been caught in a compromising position. “Hmmm?”

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