I can see 18 year old Karen Wheeler, fresh out of high school, probably well off but not rich, dating a 22 year-old Ted Wheeler who was probably a jock at the time. I can see them getting married in a little ceremony at the state house that only family and 1 or 2 friends bother showing up to. I can see her walking down the aisle in her mother’s wedding dress, a forced smile like a mask on her face. She loves Ted, but not in the way that those romance novels describe love. It feels like safety. After all, Ted came from a good family, he had a stable job. He would protect her.
I can see her contemplating whether or not she should go to college or get a job. I can see her pulling out her high school diploma and running her fingers over her name, written in dark black ink. I can see her thinking back to all of the high school English classes she took. About how much she enjoyed learning about the great poets and thinking that she could do that someday. I can see her sitting on the bathroom floor, only a year after she got married to Ted, staring at a stick clutched in her hand and trading away thoughts of writing poetry for thoughts of bottles and diapers and sleepless nights.
I can see her holding Nancy, then Mike in her arms and feeling her heart swell for the first time in a long time, and thinking that maybe the sleepless nights and the casseroles and the soccer games are worth any poetry that she threw away. I can see her trying to convince Ted to have a third child because her children are the only part of her life that she actually enjoys, the only thing that keeps her from wondering what her life would be like if she hadn’t married a man she didn’t love when she was 18. I can picture her realizing that she has lived up to every cliche about a small town girl and not caring because she has her children and being a mom is the only thing that makes her truly happy now. I can picture her worrying that her kids were in trouble but not telling her about it. Her kids are her light, they’re her sun and her stars and now they won’t open up to her. I can picture her utter despair at the realization that they don’t need her anymore. And she doesn’t really know what happened that week, and she doesn’t think Mike or Nancy will ever tell her. But she picks herself up and she takes her kids to school and she makes dinners because that’s all she can do. And every night she hugs Holly a little closer and prays that the day that Holly realizes that she doesn’t need her mom any more will never come.
But she knows that like a train speeding down the tracks, no matter how much you dread it’s arrival, no matter how much you hope and pray that it’ll never come, there’s always a train coming in the end.
And she thinks that’s a kind of poetry in and of itself.
You know what’s wrong with you, Miss Whoever-you-are? You’re chicken, you’ve got no guts. You’re afraid to stick out your chin and say, “Okay, life’s a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that’s the only chance anybody’s got for real happiness.” You call yourself a free spirit, a “wild thing,” and you’re terrified somebody’s gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you’re already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it’s not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somali-land. It’s wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself. Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)
idk if you have seen it yet but could you post that gif where suga is putting his hands on jimin's ones pls
i saw it and let me tell y’all that it made my day. like can we talk about how yoongi lifts up his hand a bit so it is over jimin’s one and not under it?? and how jimin looks up towards yoongi when their hands touch?? or how yoongi’s other hand sneaks on the other side so now his hands are literally engulfing jimin’s tiny hand??? or even how they look fucking engaged?????
So what? So plenty! I love you. You belong to me.
No. People don't belong to people.
Of course they do.
I'm not going to let anyone put me in a cage.
I don't want to put you in a cage; I want to love you!
It's the same thing!
No it's not. Holly-
I'm not Holly. I'm not Lula Mae, either. I don't know who I am! I'm like cat here, we're a couple of no-name slobs. We belong to nobody and nobody belongs to us. We don't even belong to each other.
So I saw this response Steph (Hotladypants) gave and it got me really thinking. Now just dealing with things from season 2 I want to talk about some of things we see in this web series.
So Laura is a journalist so there are a lot of things that we see in the web series that are clearly part of her telling the story of the issues on the Silas Campus, even things that may not exactly be supernatural in nature are added because they show a clear cause and effect for the story line. But there are some things that are added that are not exactly journalistic in nature and could be simply cut out or explained in a quick solo clip from Laura instead of her showing us the original footage. (Also this is assuming we are essentially acting as the member of Silas Campus, not a third party watching it as fans)
Obviously you could make an argument that these scenes are included to show how loving their relationship is and how that motivates their future actions, but aren’t we suppose to assume that we are watching Laura’s videos as they happen? Aren’t we suppose to assume that she doesn’t know what happens in the future so she doesn’t know what these scenes mean later on in the series? I like this theory better: This relationship is important to Laura and she wants to share it. She wants to revel in how caring this relationship is. She wants to show off and shout to the world how much they love each other. That’s why she added scenes of Carmilla and her being so lovey even though they didn’t always have a true journalistic nature.
These parts of 2x10 did not add fully to the plot line of this episode. Assuming she doesn’t know the future, there’s no exact reason to add this. She could have just said in her interlude that she heard what was said between Carmilla and Mattie but they decided to handle the lead first. But she didn’t, she showed the original footage. She showed Carmilla’s sad demeanor reacting to Laura walking in causing Laura to have to add a clip giving a regretful response for her actions. Laura didn’t need to add this unless she felt guilty and this was her way of dealing with the guilt. It’s an unhealthy, immature way of handling guilt, but it seems to be Laura’s way nonetheless.
Now these scenes caused major outcry in the fandom. A lot of people used these scenes, and some other scenes, to defend Carmilla and hate on Laura. Think about this. These scenes could have easily been cut. Laura could have cut straight to Perry walking in with blood on her stomach in 2x13. Laura could have also simply just told us Carmilla walked out after refusing to help with her with saving the campus. Laura had the ability time and time again to villainize Carmilla but she never did. She had multiple opportunities to make us hate Carmilla and sway the story but she never did! In fact, she villainized herself more than anything else. I think Laura has a strong level of internal self-hatred that causes her to commit suicide missions and destroy positive relationships in her life because subconsciously she feels like she doesn’t deserve it. What happened with her mom to cause this much damage?
Then these four scenes. Oooooooooooh these four scenes. Not only are they not exactly necessary to the story of saving Silas, they are personal and slightly embarrassing. Honestly, the only reason I can think of as to why Laura added these clips is to show Carmilla. Show her that she still loves her. I mean we don’t know if Carmilla is even watching the videos but who knows. It’s that or Laura just wanting to put herself through more pain. I’m hoping for the former though.
Annnnnnnnnnnnnnd this scene. Laura once again did not need to add this scene. She could have so easily just started it with the curtain closed but she didn’t. She included a clip of Carmilla trying to save the day – of Carmilla trying to save Larua – even though the end of the episode shows Laura helping the board set up to kill all the vampires on campus. She once again makes Carmilla a lovable hero and villainizes herself. Laura punishes herself by showing the world why she feels guilty. REALLY THINK ABOUT THAT!
My final conclusion, the fact that we know about Laura and Carmilla’s relationship at all truly shows how much Laura loves Carmilla.
You’re sitting here, an empty seat beside you - your hands folded across your chest and legs crossed, waiting impatiently for Holly to arrive. You were supposed to come to this thing together - but somehow work had delayed the two of you to awkward lengths, resulting in you arriving here first, waiting for her. This was rather awkward - given it was her cousin’s wedding. Weddings aren’t your favorite celebration - needless to say. And the whole set up is enervating enough, and with Holly who’s going to be joining you soon, the two of you together here would be a rather interesting scenario.