if you don't get this one ask your mother

I don’t want to be your mother

.

GASTER
You mean the stuff covering most of Alphys’ possessions?

ALPHYS
Aw, sir, c-come on!

.

GASTER
Oh God, here we go again. 

ALPHYS
Th-they’re just teasing you, sir. B-because they know they can g-get a reaction out of you.

GASTER
Yes, well, if they tease me one more time, this blog is gone for good-

.

GASTER

ALPHYS
[Under the desk]
ohmygod

GASTER
BURN IT

ALPHYS
SIR OMG NO

GASTER
BURN IT NOW

.

GASTER
DAMN IT!

ALPHYS
Phew…!

anonymous asked:

Does Adhara, when she's older I mean, call the moms by different names? Like one of them she calls mom, one of them she calls mother, one of them she calls mama, etc. I'm just asking because I don't want it to be where Adhara wants to ask one of her moms something and says "Hey, Mom?" And then all six of them turn around, it would just be inconvenient.

What are you talking about that’d be hilarious! xD

No but to answer your question she does call them all different variations of “mother”.

Twilight- Mother

Rarity- Mom

Pinkie- Mama

Rainbow Dash- Papa (I can’t get this out of my head but like… what if she calls RD “papa” as her very first word and Dash is like “*SNIFF* YEAH I’M PAPA ;_;” and never tried to correct her because it was just too cute)

Fluttershy- Mommy (maybe sometimes Mum)

AJ- Ma

Even with all the names I think as like a “dad joke” whenever she calls out for one of them, all of them turn around and is like “Which one dear? O: “

anonymous asked:

Can I ask a question? I'm still converting and if this is a weird question don't worry about answering it. I love that we have a Heavenly Mother. What I'm confused about is how, if we worship one God, she's another deity that we worship as well. Is that polytheistic? Or is there something I haven't learned and I'm totally confused? Thank you for your time, sorry again if it's a weird question.

First of all, no question is a weird question especially in Mormonism! This question does get particularly complicated, but the gist is that the LDS theology around God (as much as an LDS theology exists, because continuing revelation leaves literally everything in it open to change) views God less as an entity and more as a title–and, what’s more, as a title that multiple embodied individuals can share so long as they act in complete unity, which the Godhead will. This is in contrast to the doctrine of the Trinity as it’s expressed in the Catholic, Orthodox, and Protestant traditions where God is three persons in one substance or nature (the Greek jargon word for this is homoousios). I would recommend reading Dallin H. Oaks’ recent Conference talk on this subject because it’s a really simple summation of what Mormons essentially are thinking of when they say “Godhead.” The rest of this kind of digs into the details of that basic idea.

I don’t honestly think the Mormon position is as different from the Trinity as a lot of us like to claim but the major difference is Mormonism’s stress on God having to be embodied. Pretty much every other Christian tradition rejects this idea beyond Christ’s Incarnation, but Joseph Smith seeing two physical personages in the First Vision and his later King Follet Discourse really tie us into the doctrine of an embodied God. To maintain the idea of One God, we shift the concept of God towards expressing a partnership between multiple divine beings instead of one being who is multiple personages; it’s basically taking the Trinity idea one step further. God The Father (or more accurate to the theology, God The Parents, which we’ll get into below), God The Son, and God The Holy Spirit are all different persons who are operate and are worshiped as one Godhead or in normal parlance, One God. Think of Jesus’ intercessory prayer in John 17, where He asks The Father that His disciples “may be one, as we are.” The Mormon take on that is that since Peter, James, John, Thomas, Matthew and the rest didn’t melt together into one blob of homoousios than the best reading of the united nature of Christ and The Father is a union of purpose and action rather than a union of being.      

Heavenly Mother is generally inferred and implied in Mormon theology rather than explicitly discussed or worshiped but the idea stems from the biblical teaching that human beings were created in the image of God and the King Follet Discourse’s concept of human beings progressing towards exultation as gods themselves. If we’re holding to those premises, it doesn’t make sense that half of the entire human race just vanishes once we start looking at what’s supposed to be the next step in our evolution. Heavenly Mother resolves that issue and I think the Divine Feminine is a really beautiful idea, but we haven’t worked to receive much more revelation about Her than that She exists, so that’s certainly a subject to pray and ponder about. I’ve taken to using Heavenly Parents more often than Heavenly Father because it seems to me like She’s involved in most everything The Father is–my hunch is that our scriptural tradition just leans on male language for deity because of the patriarchy, but that’s just a hunch. Heavenly Mother gets downplayed a lot in the LDS Church because She isn’t a belief we share with any other Christian churches and we can’t really point to any canonized scriptural precedent that really seals the deal on the theology. For example, we don’t really pray to Her because the precedent in the Lord’s Prayer only has us addressing Our Father. But She is here and we believe in Her! 

Obviously these are both really BIG topics and contain some of the largest differences between Mormons and other Christians, as well as the fuzziest and least certain portions of our doctrine. There are a ton of tangents and detours to fill, but I feel like this a decent portrait of the basic concepts. I know I didn’t cover everything so if anyone else wants to help me flesh it out, or has any other questions along this line, feel free to contribute. 

anonymous asked:

I gave birth ten days ago and all throughout the pregnancy my mother told me that vaccinating them was wrong and a bad idea, and I took it lightly until she came to visit me, my partner and the baby in the hospital and asked if we were going to get him vaccinated. I said yes, and she FUCKING said 'I'd rather you lost a child than have to put up with an autistic one for the rest of your life'. Now that I've actually had the baby I can't imagine losing him so I don't want my mother coming near us.

Holy shit. What the actual fuck?! That’s monstrous oh my god. I know she’s your mother, but…cut her the fuck out, please, for the sake of yourself and your child. 

anonymous asked:

My mother doesn't believe in transgenderism ((ima demiboy)) and won't let me get a chest binder. She repeatedly refers to me as her daughter and other feminine things ((my father understands transgenderism but isn't familiar with it so he brings up sensitive topics but he respects that im not female)) and I don't know what to do?? I can't get a chest binder over the internet without my mother or father's credit card ((i am a minor)) and currently I'm slouching my back but it's not helping?? :((

Lee says:

You could ask your dad for a binder if he’s open to it. You could show him PFLAG’s Our Trans Loved Ones to educate him, or some of the links below!

How to get a binder without your parents:

I can’t get a binder. How can I make my own?

  • Ren made some sweet info on binding with sports bras (x, x) and we also have a post about binding with camisoles. If you’re binding with a sports bra, you want this type.
  • Please do not try to make a DIY binder. Chances are, it will not be safe and you could hurt yourself.
  • Binding without a binder

What if someone is not supportive after I come out? (from our Coming out page)

The basics to show your dad:

Practicing with pronouns:

anonymous asked:

There was a family with two kids. The two kids both had unusual names, especially the oldest, whose name was a collection of letters and numbers. One day, the youngest goes up to their dad and asks, "Why are our names so weird?" The dad replies, "Well, your mom often forgets things, so we named your older sister after her bank account number." The youngest goes, "Oh, I see." And the dad replies, "Hope you understand, +C." Please explain this joke to me, I don't get it.

She is named this so that the mother remembers to add the constant of integration when doing calculus.

gabbyelmo15  asked:

I have been going through a lot lately with my mom having cancer and then me being a freshman in college. I scared both me and my daddy today because I was driving and was thinking about having an accident on purpose. I didn't have one because the whole time I was driving the only thing I could thimk of was that I didn't want to leave my daddy. So I guess my ask is how do I get better to were i don't think bad thoughts like that again?

Aside from your daddy there are many others in your life who would be devastated if you were gone… you may not see it, but they are there. I am very proud of you for making the proper decision to keep it on the road.

people need you in their life, especially your mother who may not show it but is probably scared out of her wits about everything and more concerned for you than she is for herself. 

If you have been and continue to have these thoughts I would strongly encourage you to visit campus services and talk to a counselor. College campus’s take these things very seriously and there are a lot of free resources for you there. Talk to your adviser, go to the nurses office, find someone you trust to confide in.

I would also encourage you to add this phone number in your contacts and label it HELP:  Call 1-800-273-8255

You can all that number any time of the day… even at 4am, and someone will be there to listen and help you.

If you dont feel great about actually speaking to another person on the phone.. visit: imalive.org and click on the big blue bubble. You can just text chat with someone, again, any time day or night.

Cancer is a harsh thing… Ive watched people go through it up close, including my father… and ive watched peoples spirits leave their bodies from it. Those are moments of both relief and regret, but the latter is up to you.

Make the most of the time… redeem it the best you can, and live your life better than those before you in order to honor them well and show everyone else that you arent weak, you arent insignificant, and that life is beautiful.. because it is, if you allow it to be.

weak-is-the-flesh  asked:

I live in Sweden and one mother just put out a notice on our equivalent to craigslist and asked for people to send her commercial pens that people don't want anymore. They are her 10-year old's special interest and he wants to collect as many as possible. I have some pens from the UK that I am going to send them and she said he loves international pens. Was thinking tumblr is probably the best way to get him loads of pens from all over the world. Would you put this on your blog and tell anyone >

> who’d like to donate a pen to send me a message and they can get my address so I can pass them on to this child? I’m sure it would make his day! ✨

anonymous asked:

I'm asexual and I recently told one of my friends. She replied with "No you're not, you're just going through a phase." I don't even feel like I have the courage to tell my parents or my other friends now. I don't want to tell them because it doesn't seem really important, but the other day my mother asked me "When are you going to get a boyfriend?". Same with my friends. I'm the only one who hasn't dated anyone yet. I feel like a broken human being. Sorry to venting to you, but...

You will go according to your feelings, not what anyone says. I know this feeling when you’re constantly get shitty questions like that. But do remember, this is you. You are you. You are the one who will live this life and you have the power to change it to your liking. What you feel is valid! You can tell the people you want, and if you don’t feel safe or comfortable than don’t do it. The people who are truely broken are the people who invalidate your feelings! You are strong

anonymous asked:

I saw on tumblr a part of a comic where Raph is upset because he is craving a mother figure but none of his brothers seem to care, but April is there to comfort him. Besides seeing that, I wouldn't have pegged him down to crave a mother figure. What are your thoughts on him and his family craving a mother and closeness?

Hi there, anon! First off, I assume this is the comic part you’re talking about:

We’re gonna get to that real soon.

Keep reading

Starter Sentences: Movie Edition
  • "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."
  • "I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse."
  • "Go ahead, make my day."
  • "Alright, I'm ready for my close-up."
  • "May the Force be with you."
  • "What we've got here is failure to communicate."
  • "Love means never having to say you're sorry."
  • "I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!"
  • "I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship."
  • "Why don't you come up sometime and see me?"
  • "Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."
  • "We'll always have Paris."
  • "We rob banks."
  • "I see dead people."
  • "You've got to ask yourself one question; 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?"
  • "You had me at 'hello.'"
  • "A boy's best friend is his mother."
  • "Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer."
  • "Elementary, my dear Watson."
  • "Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine."
  • “I am McLovin!”
  • "Get your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape."
  • "Wait a minute, wait a minute. You ain't heard nothin' yet!"
  • "I have always depended on the kindness of strangers."
  • "Hasta la vista, baby."
  • "My precious."
  • “What do tigers dream of when they take their little tiger snooze?"
  • "You're my knight in shining armor. Don't you forget it. You're going to get back on that horse, and I'm going to be right behind you, holding on tight, and away we're gonna go, go, go!"
  • "Nobody puts Baby in a corner."
  • "Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys/girls. Make your lives extraordinary."
  • "I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum."
  • "It wasn't brains that got me here, I can assure you of that."
  • "You're a disease. And I'm the cure."
  • "I'd hate to take a bite outta you. You're a cookie full of arsenic."
  • "You're so ugly, you could be a modern art masterpiece."
  • "I want you to hold it between your knees."
  • "You can't handle the truth!"
  • "Yippee ki yay, motherfucker."
  • "You talking to me? You talking to me?"
  • "Wake up — time to die."
  • "Let's put a smile on that face."
  • “I can never have children!”
  • "When am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it’s awkward, it’s like well goodnight."
  • "There's no place like home."

mintofhint  asked:

If you're not up to doing requests tonight, that's okay, but when you're up for it - Rose/Alisha accidentally call Lailah mom? Sorey never really had one and Seraphs don't in general, but she does something really motherly and it just slips out. Then EVERYONE starts calling her that and they get her mother's day presents <3

HOLY FUCK MOM IM YELLING AND MELTING

I READ THIS YESTERDAY BEFORE I WENT TO BED AND LITERALLY SPENT ALL DAY THINKING OF A GOOD SCENARIO THEN SPENT LIKE 3 HOURS DRAWING A COMIC FOR IT

it might not be /quite/ what you asked for but i did what i could without making it too long lmfao bUT HERE IT IS I HOPE YOU LIKE YOUR MESSY COMIC

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Do we already have mommy headcanons done or could we get some? Preferably Flavia, Tiki, Nah, and Panne if we don't?

Yeah. I knew this ask would come in. Here you go! I’m working on the others so stay patient~ -O

Flavia: She teaches Morgan to fight from an early age. She views it as one of the most important skills her child should have. She’s a tough teacher, but a loving mother, and gives the biggest, most cuddly bear-hugs either Morgan or you could ever dream of. She’s sure to instil respect for others and self-confidence in your child, and you can’t help smiling when you see her give Morgan a big noogie.

Tiki: Tiki’s not used to being around children, of course, but she gives it her best shot, as with everything else. She’s calm and collected most of the time but you find yourself snorting against your will when she gives you a desperate, panicked look as Morgan wails in the background, diaper full. You’re sure to assist her with anything and everything she finds confusing or difficult. To Tiki, the two of you are her whole world.

Nah: You’re expecting Nah to be the strictest of mothers, partially because of her disapproval of the way her mother carries herself, but to your surprise she’s extremely carefree. She still holds her child to the high standards she places upon herself, but knows exactly when to let go. And you find yourself having to reassure her when she tears into herself for making Morgan cry by mistake.

Panne: She seems to have learnt a lesson from the way future Yarne turned out. She’s fiercely protective of both her children, and is also astonishingly competitive, almost ruthless in how far she’d go to make her children achieve only the best. She views them as the future of the taguel, and seems to be grooming them to be such. But when she looks at you with uncertainty, eyes clouded with wondering whether she’s too hard on them, you just smile. Panne makes sure to give her children all the love she never received as a child.

sapphic-spook  asked:

but like as usual you're so good at reading the joker. You're tags on that "i can tell you meant that" gif set of joker were just so on point. Like honestly you are one of the bloggers out there that I feel like understands the Joker best. We don't always agree on everything tbh, but I always get excited to read what you think about stuff (Oh and I agreed with your tags 10000%)

That is quite possibly the best compliment I could ever receive considering Joker is my favorite character and I’m pretty damn passionate in my love lol 💕

  • HEY I WROTE THIS REALLY LONG DRABBLE BASED ON A HEADCANON FROM http: //untildawnff.tumblr.com/ AND I WAS GIVEN PERMISSION TO POST IT BUT CREDIT TO THEM FOR THE IDEA OKAY THANK YOU.
  • ()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
  • Sam
  • "So how are you and your boyfriend, Sam?" my mom asked on the other line of the phone. I rolled my eyes and inter ally sighed. I didn't actually have a boyfriend. But my, god was my mother getting annoying asking me when I'd get a boyfriend and bring him over. So I lied and said I did have one. Didn't even give her a name or anything. And somehow, she, and everyone else believed me. And it's been going for about two and a half weeks now.
  • "We're fine, mom." I sighed into the phone. My mom clicked.
  • "You don't sound fine." She inferred. Act in love, Sam.
  • "We are, don't worry, I'm just really tired." I reassured. She stayed silent for a moment.
  • "Okay... How about you two come over for dinner on Friday?" She asked. That caught me off guard. I moved out of my parents house a few months ago, since I was 18 and had enough money saved up. So I lived in an apartment building across town.
  • "Uhhh..." I pulled my phone away from my face to check what day it was. Wednesday. I haven't seen my parents or my brother and sister in almost a month. I couldn't say no.
  • "... sure..." I replied dully. She giggled.
  • "Great! I can't wait to meet this guy. I'm sure you got your paws on one handsome devil! Come around six?" She finished. My mouth ran dry. What the fuck was I gonna do? I couldn't come up with a clever break-up story in three days. Maybe I should tell them he died in some ridiculous way. That'd be kind of funny. But not believable. I guess I just had to go with it. I sighed.
  • "Yeah, I guess." I huffed. My mom giggled.
  • "Yay! Okay, I love you, baby! I'll see you then." She concluded before hanging up. I ended the call and threw my phone on the couch. Fuuuuuuck.
  • I thought for a long while and what the hell I was gonna tell my parents. I did NOT wanna tell them the truth and have them nag, nag, nag me about it. But what could I do? I thought for a while more before it came to me. I could have someone pretend to be my boyfriend for the night. I thought about my options. Right away, Mike and Matt were off the table. They were in the middle of some ridiculous love triangle with Emily. Chris wasn't exactly an option either. He and Ashley had something. I don't know what it is, but it's something. And the way Chris takes things, he'd get the wrong idea. So that only left one other person.. Josh. It's not that I didn't like Josh, because I did, I was closer to him then anyone else. But the thought of asking him to pretend to be my boyfriend for a night was a little weird. But what else could I do. I sighed and pulled out my phone and texted Josh.
  • 'I'm coming over.' I texted.
  • 'Ummm?? Ok but no ones here'
  • 'That's fine. Hahahaha I need a favor.'
  • 'Oh god. Should I be scared?'
  • 'Uh, maybe?'
  • ' jesus Sam'
  • 'Be there in like ten minutes.'
  • 'You suck'
  • I laughed and closed my phone, not responding. I gathered my stuff and headed to Josh's house. This was gonna be an interesting conversation.
  • ()()()()()()()()()()()()
  • I approached Josh's house and groaned. I was already regretting it. But it was too late now. This was a better idea then any of the others I came up with. I walked up to the door and knocked.
  • "Helloooo? Josh?" I yelled. Nothing. I turned the handle of the door out of curiosity and sure enough, it was open. I walked in slowly, closing the door behind me.
  • "Josh?" I called again. Still nothing. I walked into the living room and sat my bag down. I've done this before and usually Josh is just in the bathroom or getting out of the shower or something. I stood and waited. For a lot longer then I wanted to. I pulled out my phone text him. Suddenly, a pair of hands jabbed my sides and a yelled in my ear. I knew damn well who it was but I still screamed and dropped my phone. I whirled around and go figure, there was Josh, giggling like an idiot. I flushed. I didn't like when people grabbed my sides.
  • "Josh!" I growled, slapping his arm as he laughed at my minor shame.
  • "Hey, lame-o, what's up?" He chuckled. I rolled my eyes, remembering this awkward talk I was about to have. I sighed.
  • "Hey, is everything okay?" He asked, his smile slowly dying away.
  • "Uhhh, okay. So remember my parents?" I asked. He nodded.
  • "Remember that thing I told them? That was actually true a few weeks ago?" I continued. He raised an eyebrow.
  • "Yeeaaaahhh..? The one where you told them you have a boyfriend when you very well do not?" He said, a ghost of a smile on his face. I nodded.
  • "Yeah, well, they wanna meet said boyfriend on Friday at their house for dinner, and I can't get out of it." I went on. Josh simply blinked.
  • "And... I need someone to pretend to be my boyfriend for the night." I finished, smiling a little too innocently. Josh was unresponsive for a moment before he ultimately burst into laughter. I stared at him as he laughed.
  • "Okay, okay, lemme get that straight. You want me to be your boyfriend for the night?" He repeated. I looked at the floor. Hearing it out of someone else, it sounded ridiculous.
  • "Yeeees..." I groaned. I didn't look at him.
  • "Okay." He said casually. I snapped my head up.
  • "What?" I asked, kind of skeptical that he agreed to this. Let alone as casually as he did.
  • "I said okay. I'll pretend to be your boyfriend so you don't have to deal with the wrath of your parents." He said clearly. Thank. God. I huffed.
  • "Thank you!" I groaned.
  • "No problem, babe." Josh said, winking at me. I blushed.
  • "No! Don't call me that." I stammered. He noticed my demeanor and snickered.
  • "Sorry, dear." He smirked.
  • "Stoooop! I'm going home, Josh." I growled.
  • "Whatever you say, baby." He continued. It was really weird coming from him.
  • "Goodbye! Josh!" I screeched, walking out the door.
  • "I LOVE YOU, BABYYYY!" He yelled after me.
  • "Baaaaaaaaaah!" I yelled back as I walked out of his yard.
  • "I will see you Friday at 5!" I yelled as I walked away. This was gonna be a looooong Friday.
  • ()()()()()()()()()()()()()
  • Friday came a lot faster then I wanted it to and I dreaded it a lot. This was gonna be super weird. I mean, even if I was bringing my family an ACTUAL boyfriend, it would be weird. But it was going to be even weirder because I wasn't bringing them a boyfriend. I was bringing them a Josh. Good thing Josh has never met my parents before. A beep outside distracted me from my dreading. It was Josh. I took a deep breath and made my way out into the Fall outdoors. There was Josh outside my Apartment building in his stupid little car with a stupid little smile on his stupid little face. I wordlessly got into the passenger seat.
  • "Hey, you look nice." He complimented. I snorted. I really didn't. I'd usually dress a little better to go see my parents. But I didn't totally bum it. I could tell Josh had literally JUST got out of the shower because his hair was still a little wet and his entire car smelled like Axe.
  • "Are you seriously okay? I can pretend to be sick and you can tell your mom I have malaria." He suggested. I laughed, remembering that I actually considered telling my parents my boyfriend died.
  • "It's okay. I'm okay." I assured, nodding my head.
  • "Promise?" He asked, offering his pinky. I wrapped my pinky around his and squeezed.
  • "Promise." I repeated. He smiled.
  • "Okay." He said quietly before starting his car and setting off to my parents house.
  • "So, how should I act? What should I do?" He asked, sounding almost nervous. I raised an eyebrow. What did he have to be nervous about?
  • "Uhhh.. Just be you. We're gonna have to hold hands and whatnot but just be yourself." I shrugged. He nodded.
  • He opened his mouth to say something but closed it.
  • "What?" I asked. His face slowly got red and he shook his head.
  • "Nothing." He mumbled. I tilted my head. I've never see Josh like this. Josh was almost always goofy. Kind of cocky. Never did I ever see him nervous, this was kind of unlike him.
  • "What are you all nervous about?" I asked out of curiosity. He shook his head.
  • "I don't know...." he said, giving me a weird look. I dropped the subject as we pulled up in front of my parents house. I exhaled deeply.
  • Josh parked and looked at me.
  • "You ready?" He asked, his face suddenly eager. I rolled my eyes. Not really. But there was no turning back. I sighed and nodded my head.
  • "Yeah, let's go." I mumbled, getting out of the car. My stomach was in knots. I didn't really care if they didn't like him or not... Okay, I did, but that wasn't my main concern. My main concern was that now my parents will now forever think of Josh Washington as my boyfriend. And that was really weird to me. Josh waited for me and once I caught up to him he gave me one last look as to say "are you sure you're sure?" I nodded my head and walked up to the door, knocking gracefully.
  • "Don't be nervous." He whispered quickly, just before the door opened and my smiling mother appeared.
  • "Sammy-bear!" She squeaked before hugging me tightly.
  • "Hi, mom." I giggled. I was happy to see her after almost a month. I needed this. She eyed Josh for a moment.
  • "Is the boyfriend I've heard next to nothing about?" My mom asked. I was kind of flustered.
  • "Uh, yes! Mom, this is my b-boyfriend, Josh." I said with an awkward smile. It felt so weird to say. I looked at Josh and he seemed almost confused and a bit lost. I grabbed his hand and gave him a look. He looked surprised for a moment, before snapping back into it.
  • "Uh-um, yeah, hi, I'm Josh Washington. Nice to finally meet you." He greeted politely. I was surprised he was capable.
  • "Hello, Josh, nice to finally meet you, too." My mom said. This might not be too bad.
  • "Well, come on in!" My mom cheered, scurrying into two house. I looked at Josh. He looked back at me.
  • "You okay?" He asked. I nodded. He squeezed my hand a little tighter. I involuntarily smiled. What the hell is happening to me? I brushed it off and yanked Josh in the house. I followed my mom into the dining room.
  • "Hey, Sam's here with her boyfriend!" My mom announced to my father, brother, and sister at the table.
  • "How much did you pay him to show?" My brother asked, causing Josh to chuckle. I, took my hand from his and elbowed him in the ribs.
  • "Shut up, Evan." I growled.
  • "Relax," Josh whispered in my ear. I let out a breath and calmed down. It was awkward for a moment, Josh and I being the only ones standing.
  • "Well, don't to strangers, sit down, you two!" My dad said. I did as my dad said and dragged Josh to a chair next to me and we both sat down.
  • "Uh, Josh, this is my dad. My brother, Evan, and my sister, Brooke." I introduced.
  • "Hi." He said awkwardly. Everyone else kind of mumbled "hellos."
  • "Well, dinners almost done, so for now, we can just talk." My mom shrugged.
  • "Josh." My dad said. Josh tensed up next to me.
  • "Yes?"
  • "Do you wanna come and help me get drinks for everyone?" My dad asked. I instantly got nervous. He was about to have a talk with Josh. And with Josh's attitude it might not be too pleasant. And Josh knew it because his foot started tapping on the floor like crazy. I put my hand on his.
  • "U-um, yeah!" He stammered. My dad nodded and got up up, then walking into the kitchen. Josh got up and walked with him, but not before giving me a peck on my head, which made me blush hard. My mother grinned as he walked away, noticing my almost surprised expression.
  • "How long have you two been dating?" My sister asked. I blinked slowly.
  • "A little more then a month." I said, kind of out of it.
  • "He really likes you, huh? He does! I can tell by the ways he acts!" My sister inquired. That caught me a little off guard and I had to think. I wasn't too sure if Josh was a good actor or not, but tonight it seemed like it. But then again, he was so nervous before we got here... And he was obviously trying to make some sort of good impression on my mom and who knows what's he saying to my dad.
  • "Right?" My sister asked. I thought a little but slowly nodded.
  • "Yeah.. I guess he does." I mumbled. As if on cue, my dad and Josh came out of the kitchen. I was almost surprised when thy came out laughing and talking. Josh slid in the chair next to me and my dad sat down as well.
  • "Some drinks..." Evan muttered. My dad's expression turned a bit sour upon realizing he didn't even get drinks.
  • "Damn. I'll get 'em." He said plainly, going back into the kitchen. I leaned close to Josh.
  • "What'd you say to him?" I whispered for only him to hear, kind of puzzled by how my dad was totally and absolutely cool with it. Josh smiled.
  • "The truth." He whispered confidently. My eyes went wide.
  • "About the you and I situation?" I replied. He shook his head.
  • "Not exactly." He whispered. I gave him a puzzled look and he just smiled at the rest of the table. I raised an eyebrow, kind of afraid of what they talked about. I almost didn't wanna know.
  • ()()()()()()()()()()()
  • The night went okay, Josh and I did fake couple things like hold hands at the table and and hug a little longer then most would. Everyone got along. It wasn't that bad. And the night was almost over.
  • "How about me make toasts?" My dad suggested.
  • "With Pepsi?" I quirked, tilting my head. My mom shrugged.
  • "Why not?" My mom smiled. She stood.
  • "I'll go first... A toast to my lovely family! I wouldn't change a thing." She said before sitting down. I smiled. Evan stood.
  • "A toast to myself. Because I am a bad-ass motherfucker." He said. My mother gasped and I slapped my hand over my mouth. Josh, however, proceeded to laugh his ass off.
  • "Evan! Language!" My father hissed. Evan just smirked. I slapped Josh's arm as he laughed hysterically.
  • "Josh!" I growled, trying myself not to laugh. He tapped my arm.
  • "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm calm." He chuckled, clearing his throat. Emma stood.
  • "A toast to Sam! I'm glad you finally decided to come over." She grinned and sat back down.
  • "Thank you." I mouthed to her before standing up for my turn. I thought before I spoke.
  • "Ahh, a toast to all of you! Mom, dad, Emma, Evan, Josh. You're all so important to me, and I don't know what I'd to without you." I finished before sitting down. Josh didn't even look at me before he stood up. He took a deep breath before starting.
  • "Okay, um, a toast to... My girlfriend. My beautiful, amazing, best friend. Sam.. I don't know where I'd be if I'd never met you. And I can never, ever, repay you for what you've done for me. Thank you." Josh finished before finally sitting back down. My jaw dropped open. I couldn't believe what he said. I looked at him for a long time. He didn't look back at me. A smile slowly stretched across my face and I leaned over and pecked Josh on the cheek. He smiled and blushed.
  • "That was nice..." my mother said quietly. My dad stood up.
  • "Well, my toast is also to my wonderful family. And Josh, who I hope will stay around a long while. Tonight was perfect in the most imperfect way. And that's just the way I want it." My father finished to close the night. We all smiled. My mother wiped the forming tears out of her eyes. Josh wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pulled me into him. I leaned into his chest and smiled. Tonight was amazing.
  • "Um, I really think we should get going.." I announced, intertwining my fingers with Josh's
  • "Are you sure?" My mom asked. I nodded.
  • "Yeah, it's getting late I'm tired." I said. My brother snorted.
  • "Use condoms." He said. My face flushed and Josh laughed.
  • "Evan, stop!" I hissed. Josh squeezed my shoulder and I relaxed. I don't know why that of all things calmed me down. My head was all confused, I needed sleep.
  • "Oh yeah, I almost forgot." Josh mumbled. I was about to ask what he was talking about until he pulled me into him and brushed his lips against mine. I didn't respond out of surprise. And then he stepped back. I couldn't speak, just babbled incoherent things. Did... he just... do that? Maybe it was just for my parents to see it now something, I don't know. Now we really needed to go.
  • "Bye everyone, I love you!" I said loudly before dragging Josh out the door. We got in the car and drove away.
  • "Well that was ah... Interesting." Josh quirked. I nodded slowly. And it was. It went a lot better then expected to
  • "Yeah...." I mumbled, still kind of shocked by the random kiss. I didn't know if he was planning it or what but I was still kind of surprised. I mean, I was still have a hard time processing Josh as my "boyfriend."
  • "Maybe we should go out as a couple again sometime. Pretend to be a couple around town." Josh shrugged. I snorted.
  • "Or we could not pretend.." he said quietly. What was he implying? I mean, I knew he was joking but still. I laughed.
  • "Good one." I replied. He stayed silent for a second.
  • "Yeah, I was uh... just.... just joking." He said quietly. The rest of the care ride was silent until he pulled up to my apartment building.
  • "Thank you so, so, so much for this Josh! I have no idea how to repay you!" I thanked as I exited the car. He put a hand up.
  • "Don't. Tonight was nice." He said. I nodded and turned to walk inside. Then I remembered something I wanted to ask him and turned back around.
  • "Josh?" I asked. He looked at me.
  • "Yeah?"
  • "When you said you told my dad the truth... What did you mean?" I asked curiously. Josh bit his lip and raised his eyebrows.
  • "Well.. He asked me how I really felt about you. So I told him the truth." Josh said simply. I thought for a minute. But when my dad came out of the kitchen, he was still obviously under the impression that Josh and I were dating. Wait a minute... I finally put two and two together. He literally asked me out in the car and I thought he was kidding! He was not kidding!
  • "Oh, wait, Josh..." I said, feeling like an asshole. He shook his head.
  • "Don't worry about it, Sam. I'll see you later." He said, driving off without another word.  I called for him but he kept driving, driving, driving and then he was gone. My head was running wild. I'm so dumb. I didn't realize Josh liked me.. I'm not even sure how I feel about him. I mean... I don't know if I like him... Of course not, its Josh. Obviously I do, he's the only one that can do what he does to me. Ugh, this was so confusing. Suddenly, my phone started to buzz and I pulled it out of my pocket and it was a text. From Josh.
  • "I had to do it just once." It said. I ran my fingers over my lips and felt my cheeks get red.
  • Ugh... Josh... What did I do?

jezebelgoldstone  asked:

1st off, let me say that I've been following you for a long time and you are one of my favorite humans. I'm asking you this bc I can't find a good answer anywhere else: my mom and I are getting into Discourse re: trans bathroom issues. Not trans rights per se; her fear is creepy cis men claiming to identify as trans so they can harass women. I'm sorry if you've already posted about this and I missed it, and if you don't want to answer this then obvs that's fine. Any help/recs would be great. <3

A few points to make to your mother, in no particular order:

- Generally speaking, and with the notable exception of transphobes wanting to Make A Point about bathroom laws in the throes of public debate, cis guys dressing up as women to creep in bathrooms is a non-issue. I mean, at a basic level, it’s a very involved performance for no clear payoff. Any guy wanting to do this is going to have to dress in drag and go out in public - meaning, it has to be premeditated - and for the kind of misogynist, sexist, predatory assdouche who thinks creeping in women-only spaces is a good idea, being perceived as feminine, let alone actually mistaken for female, is the worst thing that can ever happen to them. The kind of gross politician you see talking about how he would’ve loved to go in the girl’s bathroom when he was at school, therefore all men are creeps? That man would never voluntarily dress in drag. His fantasy is of being invisible and/or unnoticed in a female space, but if anyone ever actually asked him to put on a dress and prove it, he wouldn’t, because Gender Roles.

- Even if this actually started happening, that wouldn’t invalidate the needs of trans men and women to use the goddamn bathroom in public. And the fact is, trans people are already using the correct bathrooms, passing unnoticed because - spoiler alert! - public bathrooms are fucking gross, literally nobody chooses to hang out in there. Any person of any gender who loiters in a public toilet to harass strangers should get evicted, period, but their behaviour should by no means prevent other people from using the bathroom. 

- I feel like the kind of guy who’s excited by the idea of invading women’s bathrooms really doesn’t understand how they work. Like, we’re not all squatting out in the open? You aren’t actually going to see any genitals the way you would at a urinal? We’re in individually locked stalls? What are you going to do, stand in that piss-and-bleach-scented square meter of space by the sink and ogle the women washing their hands? What part of this process is materially different to standing in line outside a shared bathroom at a house party? Like, bathrooms are not changing rooms? And yes, trans folks should get to use the changing rooms of their choice, too, but I feel like there’s this weird mental slippage that happens in these conversations wherein women’s bathrooms are universally pictured as changing rooms, which they’re not, in order to create a greater sense of panic about what some interloping dude might reasonably witness in the vast majority of instances under discussion.

- If the fear is genuinely about the prospect of bathroom harassment, then that’s explicitly what should be outlawed: making sexually inappropriate comments or advances to strangers in bathrooms. It’s a simple enough provision to make, and it doesn’t stop anyone from pissing where they need to. But the fear isn’t about cis men harassing ladies, is the thing - the fear is, “I might see someone who looks insufficiently feminine in a public bathroom and not be allowed to yell at them or tell them to leave, even if they’re clearly just there to take a dump”

- If you really want to protect women - if that is your actual argument: that all women deserve to feel safe from harassment - then you cannot hinge that argument on forcing trans women to use male bathrooms. What this argument really says is, “I care more about the remote possibility of cis women being importuned by skeevy cis men than I do about the very real and consistently documented problem of trans women being beaten, abused, harassed and/or raped for using the “wrong” (according to their assailant) bathroom”

I hope that helps!

darkdjin  asked:

I don't know why but when I read that one page showing Rinku dropping the Master Sword into the lake I imagined Fi popping out of the water saying "Master Rinku, there is a 99% chance that your mother will not be pleased with this. There is also a 100% chance that you are going to be grounded once she finds out."

OMG YES.

And yeah. She’s still down there. Rinku doesn’t know how to get her back and is afraid to ask for help (because she KNOWS she’ll get in huge trouble). Poor thing.

ASK MEME → BREAKFAST CLUB EDITION
  • "Does he slip you the hot beef injection?"
  • "Did your mom marry Mr. Rogers?"
  • "Eat my shorts."
  • "Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?"
  • "Don't mess with the bull. You'll get the horns."
  • "Could you describe the ruckus?"
  • "Do you know how popular I am?"
  • "Why are you being so nice to me?"
  • "If I lose my temper you're totaled, man."
  • "You ask me one more question and I'm beating the shit out of you."
  • "Being bad feels pretty good, huh?"
  • "Don't you ever talk about my friends."
  • "Just stick to the things you know; shopping, nail polish, your father's BMW, and your poor, rich drunk mother in the Caribbean."
  • "Hey, you're not urinating in here, man."
  • "Now is this the first time or the last time you do this to me?"
  • "So... what's your poison?"
  • "You're a lying sack of shit and everybody knows it."
  • "Keep your fuckin' hands off me!"
  • "Why didn't you want me to know that you are a virgin?"
  • "You know, I have just as, many feelings as you do and it hurts so much when someone steps all over them."
  • "Don't you ever, ever, compare yourself to me, "
  • "Are we gonna be like our parents?"
  • "You couldn't ignore me if you tried."
  • "Two hits... me hitting you, you hitting the floor."
  • "You don't talk to her, you don't look at her and you don't even think about her! You understand me?"
  • "Are you a virgin?"
  • "Yo wastoid, you're not gonna blaze up in here."
  • "You ought to spend a little more time trying to make something of yourself and a little less time trying to impress people."
  • "You're kind of sexy when you're angry."
  • "Chicks cannot hold their smoke, dat's what it is."
External image

Hook, the holidays aren’t exactly cheerful with a pirate shaped hole in the celebrations (and if you tell anyone I said that - I will deny it).  But we’re getting by as best as we can. You told me to keep your flask from being lost, and I’m making sure it’s safe… so even though you can’t share it, know that I’m having a shot of this God awful swill you love so much in your memory.

Just remember that my daughter is stubborn; she gets it from her mother. So next Christmas, you’ll have to have one with me.

Cheers, Mate

Dave


anonymous asked:

This says we can ask you anything so... If your significant other (and if you don't have one, just pretend for the sake of the question) and your mother switched bodies and you had to sleep with one of them to get them back to normal, who would you choose?

I think I’ll go with my hand tonight.