if you do you have terrible taste and i hate you

I love you,” he shouts at her.
“Well I don’t love you.” She fires back.
“Because if I loved you, then I would notice how you tap your foot when you’re nervous. And how you bite your lip when you’re concentrating. And how you always, always, put pepper on first, then salt. If I loved you I would know that you hate dancing, which makes sense because if I loved you I would know that you’re a terrible dancer. I would know that you can’t look in a mirror for too long because you have your fathers eyes, and those eyes remind you of him leaving. I would know that the reason you don’t drink isn’t just because you hate the taste of whiskey. I would know that the ocean was your safe haven, your escape. But I don’t love you.” she ends, her lips trembling. She stares into those green eyes of his, her breath shaking, the words she had just spoken finally hitting her.
“But maybe, maybe I do.
—  An Excerpt From a Book I’ll Never Write #13

based on this suggestions blog.  warning:  these are pretty dark/angry  &  could be triggering to some people.  please be cautious before proceeding!!

‘  all i want in my life is for my friends to be able to touch me suddenly  &  me to not flinch away without meaning to.  when will this stop affecting me?  ’
‘  all i want is to be soft  &  gentle,  but i’m made out of steel  &  anger.  maybe in another life,  i guess.  ’
‘  beauty is in the eye of the beholder,  so choose to see beauty in everything.  ’
‘  burning it all to the ground  &  force them to start again.  they made you lose everything.  now return the favor.  ’
‘  do i ever even cross your mind or do i do all the thinking of us on my own?  ’
‘  do you trust me enough?  do you trust me at all?  ’
‘  don’t you dare abandon me.  ’
‘  even after all you have done,  i will always want you fighting on my side.  ’
‘  every time i see you smile i fall in love with your brightness all over again.  ’
‘  everyone i have ever loved is long gone.  i sing to the sky alone.  ’
‘  everyone i touch gets hurt,  but i can’t stop.  i touch  &  i touch  &  i touch  &  people get hurt.  why can’t i ever stop?  ’
‘  everyone says i used to be a hero,  but i can still taste the blood in my mouth  &  still feel bruises blooming because of my fists  &  my eyes are still stretched wide  &  terrified.  ’
‘  everything i love has been taken from me.  what do i have left to fight for?  ’
‘  fall in love with someone that makes you feel strong.  ’
‘  friends are more important than any material object will ever be.  ’
‘  i am aching to hold you  &  keep you safe,  to be pressed against you so that nothing can harm you.  ’
‘  i am divine  &  you will bow before me.  ’
‘  i am fucking divine.  ’
‘  i am in control  &  i listen to no one.  ’
‘  i am not a good person.  don’t pretend i am.  ’
‘  i am not accustomed to love.  this is a learning experience.  ’
‘  i am not worth saving  &  i am not worth redemption.  let me stay in the dark.  ’
‘  i am so tired all the time,  all i want to do is rest.  ’
‘  i am too tired to deal with any of this.  ’
‘  i bow to no man.  ’
‘  i broke into sharp pieces when i broke  &  i expect someone else to hurt their hands on my edges just to put me back together.  i’m sorry.  ’
‘  i can give you your wings back  &  i can show you to fly once more,  if you only believe in me.  ’
‘  i cannot be saved.  ’
‘  i can’t ask for help because if i ask for help it hurts people.  i can bear this weight on my own.  i have to.  ’
‘  i could taste the lies in your mouth every time i kissed you,  but i loved you too much to notice.  ’
‘  i crave affection in the simplest way.  ’
‘  i deserve to hurt.  i deserve to bleed.  ’
‘  i didn’t ask for any of this so don’t you dare blame this on me.  ’
‘  i don’t care if you say my name like it’s poison or like it’s a prayer,  as long as it leaves your lips.  ’
‘  i don’t fight for you anymore.  ’
‘  i don’t want to let go of you.  not now,  not ever.  ’
‘  i don’t want to talk about it.  i don’t want to remember.  i don’t want to heal.  all i want is for it to go away.  ’
‘  i don’t want you to touch me.  please don’t touch me,  just go away.  ’
‘  i feel anger deeper than my bones.  i feel anger in my very soul.  ’
‘  i feel nothing at all,  except for when i feel everything all at once.  ’
‘  i have fallen  &  though i may miss the sky,  i belong here now.  ’
‘  i have fallen from a height your mind cannot even imagine.  ’
‘  i have no home anymore.  ’
‘  i remember collapsing in the flames with a sword in my hand  &  then i remember nothing.  ’
‘  i see beauty in everything,  but especially in you.  ’
‘  i should never have fallen in love with you.  ’
‘  i thought for a long time that i was so terrible no one would look at me.  now i know it’s because i shine so bright they are forced to look away.  ’
‘  i was so caught up in the feeling that i forgot how to breathe.  ’
‘  i will never amount to anything.  i am a failure in the worst type of way.  ’
‘  i will tell myself that the burn of my loneliness in my chest completes me  &  maybe someday it will be true.  ’
‘  if that’s what a hero is i’m glad i’m not one anymore.  ’
‘  if you ask me to,  i will set the whole world on fire,  my dear.  it’s all for you.  ’
‘  is it my fault?  it’s my fault.  it’s always my fault.  ’
‘  it’s not murder if they deserved it,  right?  ’
‘  i’m drowning in emotions that don’t belong to me,  choking on anger  &  suffocating on sadness.  ’
‘  i’m in love with everything that hurts me.  ’
‘  i’m okay.  i’m alright.  this is all in my mind.  ’
‘  i’m ready to give up everything i’ve ever had if it means someone will love me.  ’
‘  i’m so cold  &  i can’t stop shaking.  i am not who you think i am.  ’
‘  i’m so tired all the time  &  i just want to be awake again.  ’
‘  i’m tired of fighting against the pain of being forgotten.  i just want someone to remember me.  ’
‘  i’m tired of fighting everything in my life.  just make it stop.  ’
‘  i’m too tired to care.  blow up,  get angry at me.  i’m sure someday i’ll realize i deserved it.  ’
‘  jealousy burns within me.  ’
‘  just let me go in peace for once in my damn life.  ’
‘  loneliness is a disease  &  it leaves me empty  &  hollow,  like sound goes through my body  &  bounces back.  ’
‘  made of starlight  &  sunshine,  i shine brighter than they all know.  ’
‘  my anger is righteous  &  my actions are pure.  ’
‘  my chest aches  &  my lungs burn.  this sickness comes from the inside.  ’
‘  my chest hurts  &  all i need is some comfort  &  understanding.  ’
‘  my chest hurts  &  i ache to go back to the sky.  ’
‘  my shoulders are aching where wings used to be  &  all i want is for them to stop hurting.  ’
‘  pull me apart  &  piece me together in your own way.  make me perfect.  ’
‘  righteous fury throws through my veins  &  if you touch the people i love i will destroy you.  ’
‘  rise up.  you can’t keep being small when you were made for so much more.  ’
‘  say my name like it’s the only one that’s ever been on your tongue.  ’
‘  so much blood has been spilled in my name.  time to make you believe it was in yours.  ’
‘  so you’ll worry about me when i fall silent,  but not when i scream  &  plead for help?  fuck off.  ’
‘  sometimes people have to get hurt for me to get what i want.  ’
‘  stay away from my fucking friends.  stay the fuck away or so help me i will destroy you.  ’
‘  stop treating me like i’m an idiot.  you aren’t better than me in any way  &  you better remember that.  ’
‘  the bitter taste of regret is ever present on my tongue.  ’
‘  the world is spinning far too fast for me to stay on it.  ’
‘  to love them is my divine right.  ’
‘  voices whisper from the shadows  &  they fill my mind with thoughts of you.  ’
‘  what did i to wrong to be so unloved?  ’
‘  what is the point of power if i’m not supposed to use it?  ’
‘  who the fuck do you think you are?  ’
‘  why can’t i ever fucking stop crying?  ’
‘  with a new year comes new tests  &  triumphs.  let’s try to make the most out of it.  ’
‘  would it really kill you to be honest for once?  ’
‘  yes,  i remember my wings breaking  &  being destroyed.  i was powerless to stop it.  ’
‘  you are not required to love your parents,  or to even like them.  ’
‘  you can’t hate me more than i hate myself,  but you are more than welcome to try.  ’
‘  you may say you love me,  but you love only a part of me.  i am too complex for you to ever love my entire being.  ’
‘  you never fucking cared about me.  don’t fucking lie about it.  not to me.  ’
‘  you remind me of mint.  fresh,  sharp,  kind of cold,  but in a nice way.  i always knew there was a reason mint was my favorite.  ’
‘  you shine light in even the darkest parts of me.  you are my sun.  ’
‘  you should fear me,  but you don’t.  i will be eternally puzzled,  yet grateful.  ’
‘  you touch me  &  my skin burns  &  it burns for you,  always you.  ’

He tries to make you jealous (Zach Dempsey)

shit, so i’ve been in love with thirteen reasons why recently. it’s got me hooked. zach dempsey has been one of my crushes on the show, so here’s one based on this prompt. i’d love taking suggestions! ring me up if you have any ideas- or, better yet, drop by my ask if you want me to make any more for you.

prompt: “i like you a lot, so i tried getting you jealous,” ft. zachary dempsey

Originally posted by pitterpratter


“Ah shit, Y/N,” Jess Davis groans as she wiggles into the tight row of cushioned chairs, trying to make her way to the middle of the line next to you. You giggle as the popcorn spills all around her clenched hand and into the laps of everyone nearby. There are whimpers of “Sorry, sorry!” and grunts before she finally lands into the cushioned chair next to you and sighs. “Ah Jesus, I didn’t know that would be so hard.”

"Maybe you should lay off the gummy worms,” You put in, and laugh as she glares at you and hits your arm. Your hand digs in the popcorn and you stuff a handful into your mouth, the satisfying crunch as you chew making you moan. Ah, popcorn. Jess rips open a pack of the gummies and snorts at you. “Maybe save those noises for Dempsey, hon.”

You choke on a kernel as she purses her lips trying not to laugh, her eyes steadying on the previews onscreen. A few snickers make it out either way, and you scowl at her and stuff more handfuls in your mouth.

Zach Dempsey and you, to put it lightly, were not friends. It was difficult to push you into a room together and not expect a night of sour jabs and endless bickering. Everyone at school knew it, and it was something that happened way before you were even freshmen. There was never a time you weren’t at each other’s throats. One time, he’d spilled liquor down the front of your dress at some party and you’d hidden his pants in a bush while he was in the hot tub later that night. Lately it’d been more of a joke between your friends, with Jessica mockingly swooning how romantic you two would be. 

The lights start to dim and you wiggle back into your seat, ready for some good old romcom- and then the Paramount clip cuts into black for a moment, making you groan and try to dodge whoever was blocking your view. You crane your entire body and glare daggers at the idiot who interrupted your film before it even started. You loved your movies, and you were pretty serious about getting the “full movie theatre experience” (which Jess liked to mock). Please, you were paying a good four dollars for a movie you could watch for free online. Your eyes rise up to the back of his head, taking in a mess of straight black hair, broad shoulders and the school’s infamous Letterman jacket hanging on them. You memorized the back of that head. You knew those shoulders.

It was Zach Dempsey. With him were Jason Friar and Justin Foley, all wearing their Lettermans. You felt Jess shift in her seat at the sight of them. Wrapped in Zach’s arm was a smaller girl, snuggled into his shirt and playing with his fingers around her neck. They scooched into the seats almost directly in front of you, with the girl turning her head suddenly and getting the tips of her ponytail in Zach’s mouth. He swats it away, annoyed, but smiles instantly when she turns her head to look at him.

“Oh no,” You moan, making Jess snicker at you. You don’t miss the way her eyes flicker to Foley and turn away. “Just what I needed.”

"Who’s the girl?” Jess wonders, squinting. “Not a cheerleader. That’s Jenny, I think. Or her friend Bryana. I can’t be sure. We have Com with them.”

"Ugh, who cares,” You roll your eyes and try to turn to the movie. As long as they don’t ruin your film. This was some good stuff showing- if you focused enough, maybe you could ignore them. Jess shrugs and follows suit. You take a sip of your cherry cola as Martin Freeman jogs up into the scene.

The movie drifts by, but you find that you don’t enjoy it as much as you would have. Your eyes keep landing on the back of Dempsey’s head- and as much as you hated it, his arm around the girl’s. Your popcorn started tasting sour. You focus on some surfer guy’s abs an hour in but your mind keeps drifting somewhere else. Suddenly, before you can even blink, Zach cranes his neck slowly and looks directly at you, as if he knew you were there the entire time. He catches you looking and his cheeks tinge pink as he whips back around. Jess snickers. “That’s like, the fourth time he’s done that.”

"What?” You blink. Wouldn’t you have noticed? Jess takes a slurp of her drink. “Yeah, didn’t you notice? I mean, he’s had like two bathroom breaks. Both times he’d looked right at you before he took his seat.”

You decide not to say anything and reach out for a gummy worm. You keep watch, but Zach never craned his head again.

The movie ends before you know it, and Jess is a mess. You can’t stop laughing at her state, and after a while she laughs with you and dabs at her tears with paper napkins, but her mascara’s everywhere. “Shit, Y/N, why aren’t you crying with me?” She scowls, and starts hicupping. You try to hide your smile. You find it best not to tell her that you were staring at other things than the movie.

The lights flick back on and the people file out. You grab your empty popcorn buckets and leave, but not before Jess excuses herself to the comfort room to freshen up. You drop the buckets in the trash can near the snacks counter in the lobby and wait for her, waving a hand at Hannah Baker, who was filling up drinks at the soda fountain. Your hand travels to your back pocket and realize your phone is missing, so you run back into the cinema’s swinging doors hoping not to find it lodged in between seats with a wad of chewed up gum.

You find something even more tramautizing. Sitting on Zach Dempsey’s lap was his date, clutching his face with her pale hands and making out with him. He’s fidgeting in his seat, but trying to keep still. You note that his hands are on the cup holders and not on her waist. Your face screws up and you groan in disgust, picking your phone up from floor. “Christ, Dempsey, get a room.”

Zach’s eyes widen and he scrambles up, pushing the girl out of his lap. “Yeah? Well, this was an empty room ‘til you showed up, Y/N.”

You snort, tucking your phone into your back pocket. “You’re a pig, Dempsey.” There are mumbles of "Ooh”’s from Foley as you stalk back to the entrance, where Jess was waiting for you, ready for some milkshakes at Rosie’s. You loop your arm in hers, failing to hear the “Shit, man,” and swears from inside the theatre.

-

You head into school next Monday with a great start, munching on your bagel as you make it to your locker. You’re wearing an oversized hoodie and high waisted jeans, but it doesn’t stop the jocks from whistling when you pass by. You roll your eyes at them and chew on your bagel as you turn the corner. High school boys were too immature. No wonder you never found the want to date one.

Passing by you in the hallway was Zach Dempsey, crowded with his band of loud friends who are laughing and pushing each other. You meet his eye and he stops, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. You roll your eyes and look away, and you can almost hear him sigh in defeat. Someone slaps him on the shoulder and whistles as you walk by. “Daaamn, Dempsey, you gotta let us share.” You don’t see him shove the guy and stalk off.

The first half of the day passes by like a breeze. By the time fourth period ends, you barely feel like the day has started. You head out for the cafeteria, stacking all your books in your arms and making it through the door, but it wasn’t long before you could hear footsteps running after you. “Hey, wait up, Y/N!”

You turn around and groan, continuing to walk. “Dempsey.” You try not to glance as he jogs up next to you and ruffles his hair, staring at you with this half grin of his you didn’t want to admit you liked.

“Uh, hey.” “Something you need?”

“No, uh, actually, I wanted to talk to you.” He looks at you sheepishly.

“Okay, talk.”

“Um, you look nice today,” He offers, biting his cheek. You stop, staring at him in disgust. “What?” He trails. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding with me.” You shake your head in disbelief and keep walking.

“What’s wrong?” He keeps up. “Seriously, Dempsey, are you hitting on me now?” “And why would that be so terrible?”

“Geez, Dempsey, what is wrong with you?” You deadpan. “You are such an ass, you know that? Do you always treat girls like shit?” You gape at his blank face. “Jenny. From last Saturday. You think it’s OK to throw girls around like that?”

“What? No! I- uh, Jenny and I aren’t serious, if that’s what you’re thinking.” He winces, scratching his neck.

“Yeah, right. Of course not.”

“Look, can I take you out this weekend? To Rosie’s maybe? I’ve wanted to maybe get to be with you out of school. We could go to the movies?” You’re at the cafeteria doors now, but Zach shuts them with his left arm, blocking the way in front of you. You snort. “You can’t be serious.” You watch as his face falls and his mouth twitches.

“What’s so bad about going out with me?”

“God, you are such a jerk, Zach!” You groan, throwing your free hand in exasperation. He winces at the sound of his name being used so hatefully- he’s only ever heard you say Dempsey. He tries to forget about all the times he’s dreamed of his name coming out of your mouth, but decides he hates it when you yell it at him. “You think it’s fun, don’t you? Having no respect for girls whatsoever. You get off buttering them up with kisses and flowers and take them to the movies only to ignore them completely a day or two later. Who, in their right mind, would ever want to go out with someone like you?”

“I only ever wanted to go to that fucking movie theatre because I heard you were going to be there!” His voice rises to a shout. It echoed through the halls, and you wince knowing someone would hear. “You think I wanted to watch that stupid chick flick, with all that shit about high heels and prom? Fuck, I never even liked Jen! Why would I when I’ve always wanted someone else?”

His breath was heavy. Suddenly it was hard to swallow. You try to stand your ground, staring at him. “Nice one. You think it’d be easy for me to believe that, what with your list of conquests and a new girl making out on your desk each week? You must be daft, Zach Dempsey.”

He scowls. “I never wanted them. Never. I just- I just thought that maybe if you saw that everyone wanted me, just maybe you would have wanted me too.” His face softens, and he starts fiddling with his fingers. “Okay, I get it. You could never want me. I know, I just thought I could change that somehow. I’m used to getting my way, you know. Girls flock me, throw themselves at me. I’m used to getting everything I want, but then you’re here, in front of me, and fuck, I’ve never wanted to kiss anything more in my life.”

“Okay,” You say softly, before you can stop yourself. He barely hears it, but his ears perk up. “What’d you say?”

“I said okay,” You clear your throat, and bite your lip to keep yourself from smiling as his lips form into a helpless grin. “Saturday night, Rosie’s?”
“Fuck yes!” He fistbumps the air, then stops as soon as he realises you’re still in front of him. You giggle and hide your face in your hands as he leans forward without thinking, grabbing you by the waist and lifting you in the air. You couldn’t help your cheeks from turning red. Zach Dempsey was adorable. He really was.

“Okay, I’ll see you in Trig?” He asks, palming his phone in his front pocket. He’d have to tell Foley, he was thinking. Man, his best friend would be so proud. His head was rushing when he swooped in and pressed his lips to your flushed cheek. “I can’t wait.”




thanks for sticking around! give this a heart and reblog if you want more, and follow my blog if you want to be notified overtime i post a new imagine! this is a brand new blog and i’m so excited to see what ideas you might have for me.

Crash

@talortut​ asked:  Hi! I love your blog <3 If you’re still taking requests, I would love to see some sick/hurt/exhausted/whatever Lance with the line “You’re gonna crash" from the starters. :)

((Thank you for the prompt SOMEHOW THIS TURNED INTO A 2400K LANGST/ KLANCE FIC BUT LMAO))

Keep reading

here are some non-depressing nursey headcanons

for @brunch-at-jerrys on her birthday! 

brought to you by my absolute lack of chill and undying love for this huge nerd

  • has a favorite coffee shop in almost every part of manhattan. they are never chains and usually have weird/quirky shit on their menu, but the coffee is always amazing. he is absolutely That Guy who will tell you Starbucks is overpriced, shit-quality coffee.
  • despite that: Gregory’s is his guilty pleasure. He fucking loves Gregory’s coffee. He and his moms and his sister did one of their coffee seminars once and he will rant about it for hours even if it turned him into a Coffee Snob.
  • Pottermore sorted him into Gryffindor and he had a literal fucking identity crisis because he convinced himself for years he was a Ravenclaw (because he’s a Chill Intellectual). told his sister and she laughed her ass off because “are you fucking kidding me you get pissed so easily and you will literally fight about shit for hours you are made of lies” “you’re made of lies” “do you want to have this fight again”)
  • speaking of his sister, let me tell you my Farah Nurse feels
    • she’s four years and five grades ahead of him; they’ve never been in the same school
    • their relationship is simultaneously overprotective, sappy, and chirpy as fuck
    • Nursey would never offer to fight a dude who messed with her but only because he knows she can do it herself and also he’s slightly fucking scared of her
    • getting a Master’s at NYU in Humanities and Social Thought
    • we’re getting off track but I’m Love Her
  • anyway
  • back to my sweet hipster poet son Derek
  • has a sixth sense for finding secondhand and independent bookstores and is physically incapable of walking past one without going in
    • this has caused significant delays to a lot of family outings
    • they learn to budget for it
    • “Farah, where’s your brother–oh, never mind. Derek, I’m starting the clock you have ten minutes and that means if we pass another one you’ll have less time.”
  • is actually? terrible?? at regulating his temperature. like he’ll be hot one second and cold ten seconds later. it’s why he always dresses in layers. 
    • Farah is always cool and Room Temperature. Derek hates her.
    • no he doesn’t.
  • doesn’t eat a lot of meat really ever? his ammi keeps halal but his mama’s not big on meat at all (“It’s not good for the planet, baby” “Ammi, Mama’s ranting about global warming again!”) so they don’t really have meat at home so by the time he gets to andover he’s used to eating vegetarian or fish most of the time, and he’ll eat chicken occasionally but he doesn’t really eat red meat bc he lost the taste for it and he never eats pork.
  • if asked, he’ll tell people his favorite poet is Neruda, because people get the name recognition, and Neruda is up there with on his faves list. but Farah gets him a bilingual edition of Reinaldo Arenas’s poetry before she leaves for Andover and he reads the whole thing and something inside him just–clicks
    • he’s not sure if he’s never going to breathe again or if his lungs just never worked right before now, but it’s the most beautiful feeling he’s ever had
  • fucking hates staten island. 
    • just. why.

so i’ve been making monthly fic recs for a full year now! that’s so insane to think about honestly. thanks for all the support! my first monthly fic rec was for april 2016 and it had 10 fics on it. now they have upwards of almost 30 fics. that’s character development. anyway…

here are a bunch of fics I’ve enjoyed and loved reading throughout the month of march. I recommend that you read these great fics in april, if you haven’t already. 

(all fics with a star are my favorites and if there are two stars then it was a favorite favorite)


1. Perfect Storm (80k)*

What do you do when your best friend asks you and your (now) ex to be the best men at his destination wedding? You can either tell him the truth, tell him you’re not together anymore, and deal with the consequences, or you can pretend you’re still together and roll with it, just pray you don’t spiral. Fake it ‘til you make it. You know, for the sake of the wedding.

Harry and Louis choose the latter.

2. The Night Sky is Changing Overhead (124k)**

Harry is a tattoo artist, Louis is a drama professor, and they meet during an argument at a café.

3. All I Wish Not to Remember (71k)**

What happens when all you had, all you loved, all you held dear is viciously ripped away from you? When your inner core, once filled with love and hope and light, blackens to raw, dark hatred?

What happens when your soul is hopelessly consumed and no matter how hard you try, no matter how hard you attempt to shake yourself out, to rid your tormented mind of the opaque feelings that plague you, all you can see, all you can feel, all you can want is…

Revenge.

A modern adaption of The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas. A tragic tale of timeless undying love, merciless revenge, and selfless sacrifice.

Keep reading

Realistic Sci-Fi

You know what I wanna see in my science fiction? Brand new starships launching with v1.0 operating software on critical systems. 

Software does not ship in states of perfection. There’s always some patch or critical upgrade that comes out four days after software launch day. You know that sometimes that patch has to come out four days after starship launch day, though, much to the consternation of the engineering and helms crew who have been flying at a 45-degree tilt because the right nacelle is cutting out every other cycle, but everyone’s too busy coping with the effects to look for the cause.

Like, obviously, if v1.0 weren’t able to drive the starship in most cases, it would still be in beta, and if it caused the anti-matter drive to overload under general usage conditions, it would never see release, but even though SpaceNavy coders are generally proud of their work and really hate when bad code goes out it does happen, usually due to ignorantly rushed timetables from Fleet brass. But you know there’s a coder somewhere waiting four days for the fuel injection code to compile only to find that it causes immediate catastrophic Total Ship Annihilation as soon as it’s turned on because she placed an extra closed bracket at the end of that seven-thousandth nested function. After 72-straight hours of line-by-line debugging, she finds it and starts the recompile all over again.

And no matter what they do, coders can’t contend with the actual user community. Like, SpaceNavy is chock full of modders posing as engineers and you know they’re always tampering and tweaking the code “to improve efficiency, Captain.”

In fact, “engineering conferences” are basically just modding community conventions, and the mod that gets all the acclaim is the one that makes the big glowy drive core glow green instead of blue. Half the attendees vow to come back next year with code that will cycle through all the human-visible colors.

I want to see replicators that just, no matter what beverage is requested, will only provide the absolute worst coffee anyone’s ever tasted. Of course, not having any real coffee while in transit, the crew just makes due. Of course after the patch FINALLY gets rolled out, orders come down from the Captain to roll it back because the new version gives other beverages, but can’t seem to make the terrible coffee anymore and everyone has become literally addicted.

Basically, give me actual corporate and military software in space. With mods. 

anonymous asked:

How would the rfa and Saeran react to MC being an irl princess of some foreign country? Like... honest to goodness royalty? Thanks!

A/N: I hope this was everything you wanted! I don’t really know much about royalty so I just kinda rolled with it.. If it’s not good I’m sorry! Anyway, if there are parts that don’t make sense i’M SO SORRY I HAVE A FEVER but i’m using this time to write requests because my bby followers deserve it. Sorry for being gone for so long! Thank you all for the support you give us, 404 and I are working hard on requests right now <3 ~ 626

*YOOSUNG

  • this poor boy had no idea, he doesn’t pay much attention to pop culture like that
  • one day you invite him over to play games at your house because you have a super huge tv and you knew he’d love that!
  • when he’s at the gates of your mansion house, he calls you because there’s no way this can be your house???
    • “MC, are you pranking me??? It was bad enough last time when you put toothpaste in my oreos!”
    • “Just come in, you dork”
  • when he hears the gate buzz, he finally realizes that you’re rich as hell
    • it all makes sense now??? You always take him out to super expensive restaurants and for Christmas you got him an amazing gaming computer???
  • he’s about to faint oh my god yOU’RE SO RICH
  • when he’s roaming around the hallways of your mansion looking for your room (he refused the butler’s help, he could do it himself), hE SEES A PICTURE OF YOU AND YOUR PARENTS AND YOU’RE ALL WEARING CROWNS???
    • nah, no, there’s no way you’re royalty, you guys probably did a photo shoot, there’s no way this is possible
    • wait is that an entire row of pictures where your dad is meeting important people
    • is that Barack Obama? Is that the pRIME MINSTER OF SOUTH KOREA???
  • he faints
  • when he wakes up, he finds himself in a huge bed and you’re sitting next to him playing a game
    • “You’re finally awake! I’ve told you that you need to take care of yourself, did you even eat today?”
    • “MC ARE A YOU A QUEEN?”
    • “No, but I will be in the future”
    • Aaand he faints again
  • Once he finally gets used to the idea of you being a princess, it makes so much more sense to him!
  • You’ve always sounded really polite and elegant when you speak, and you handle the RFA fundraisers so easily, no matter what crisis comes???
  • He loves seeing you all dressed up, you’re so cute and beautiful!!! <3
    • You’re his Princess Zelda

*ZEN

  • He thought your name sounded familiar when you introduced yourself in the chat, but he didn’t really think about it
  • But when he finally gets to meet you, he’s in so much denial???
    • It can’t be, a princess fell in love with him
    • If you thought his ego was big before, it’s the size of the Titanic now
    • It’s even bigger when you tell him you watched his movies before you talked to him on the app
  • It never really hits him until you go shopping with him one day and you buy him a Louis Vuitton suitcase aS IF IT’S NOTHING???
    • wAIT YOU’RE BUYING LIKE 5 BAGS TOO???
    • Like yeah he makes decent money from acting, but holy hell you’re rich
  • He honestly loves this so much though
    • You two are an amazingly dressed power couple!
    • You’ll take over the political world and he’ll take over the pop culture world <3
  • You end up giving him “prince” lessons
    • You teach him how to deal with the pressure of the public and how to speak politely but firmly
    • You make him walk with books on his head and record him even though that’s something you never had to do
    • You get him to quit smoking by telling him a true prince would never do such a thing
    • He almost cries
  • HE LOVES DOING PHOTO SHOOTS WITH YOU, HE WILL USE AN EXCUSE TO BE IN A MAGAZINE WITH YOU
    • “it’s your half birthday”
    • “it’s national best friend’s day”
    • “it’s tHE ANNIVERSARY OF THE DAY WE FIRST DID IT
    • zen pls no
  • He wears his future crown at home when no one is around
  • He’s really happy that you’re a public figure so he can flaunt you when you guys go out <3

*JAEHEE

  • She knew the second you introduced yourself in the chatroom!
  • She’s honestly dazzled, a real life princess??? What is this???
    • But she kept herself in check, she realized you probably have a lot of people who hound you on a regular basis, she didn’t wanna be one of them
  • But she honestly loves talking to about your country’s political system
  • With your leadership skills and Jaehee’s organizational skills, you both work together to implement programs for underprivileged children
    • You two are a power couple omg, literally unstoppable, you two even consider starting clean water projects in other countries???
    • Unstoppable
  • Jaehee considers opening a coffeeshop chain in your country
  • She loves seeing you dress up!!! You’re so adorable and beautiful in all the elegant clothing <3
    • She totally doesn’t take pictures of you when you aren’t looking, there’s no way she has an album of 300 pictures of you
  • She’s really afraid of how the world will react when they find out you two are actually together???
    • Dumbass tabloids think you two are “gal pals”
    • But you don’t care, even if you have to step down, you don’t care
    • “Listen Jaehee, I love you. You’re my best friend and I would not trade that for the world. If my country wants me to step down because I have a girlfriend, I will. I’ll find a life with you because I cannot imagine a life without you.”
    • tEARS SO MANY TEARS
  • Jaehee  highkey lowkey uses you to meet famous people (but she loves you, es okay)
    • You don’t really mind though, it makes her happy
    • So you take her to as many events as you can, you want to make her smile as much as you can
  • You love this precious little bean and you are going to give her the world

*JUMIN

  • Of course he knew who you were, he wasn’t an uneducated idiot
  • And while it was nice to know that you weren’t with him for the money
    • He was kinda disappointed???
  • You’re a princess, you have the entire world at your feet
    • He wanted to spoil you, but you??? Have??? Everything you want or need???
    • But with the help of Zen but with his brilliant mind, he was able to come up with stuff he knew you never got!
    • hE WILL MAKE SO MANY THINGS FOR U
  • He started making food for you <3
    • And yes it tastes terrible at first but it got better after awhile!
    • At the beginning he was the type to just put the entire egg with the shell in cake mix
    • hE’S SO CUTE IN AN APRON OMG
  • He takes knitting classes???
    • He knits you everything he possibly can, a sweater, scarf, gloves, beanies
    • He totally doesn’t knit a baby blanket and baby hat for your future kids
  • He supports your decision not become queen because you decided you wanted to do other than things than run a country
    • Like be his totally hot secretary
  • You eventually move into his place and he lowkey feels ashamed bc it’s so much smaller than what you’re used to
    • But you assure him that you prefer his place because smaller places feel so much more homey than mansions
  • You’re actually much busier than Jumin when it comes to work so he’s always home before you and he spoils you so much
    • When you come home, you can always expect a shoulder/back massage
    • There’s always a warm meal that he makes because he’s not letting someone else do something for you that he can
    • When you have really bad days at work, he runs a nice, hot bubble bath couple with candles and rose petals
    • He’s pretty much ur house spouse, who knew Jumin could take on such a domestic role???
  • But he’s still senpai in the sheets

*SAEYOUNG

  • Ofc he found out when he did a background search on you
  • And he’s so fascinated by you???
    • You help run a country??? You do so many good things
  • He’ll never understand though
    • How did someone as great as you fall for someone as terrible as him
  • Everything you do is so great and he’s stuck in a field of work that could get him killed
    • But with your power, you’re able to get him out of his job
    • And he’s so, so thankful to you
    • He doesn’t really let himself be vulnerable in front of you but when you told him you could help him, he cried for hours
  • What did he do to get someone as amazing you???
    • He doesn’t know it but you totally got someone to assassinate his dad
  • You actually help him get a job as an engineer <3
    • He hates using you for your connections but he knows he deserves the job, he’s not going to deny his talent and ability
    • He’s so thankful for you
  • And he becomes your right-hand man??? Anytime you need to make a difficult decision about your country, he’s there for you!!!
  • He gets a pet monkey so he can compare himself to Aladdin
    • “Listen children,,, you don’t know how hard life was for me,,, I was a beggar,,, always stealing food to survive,,,”
    • “Saeyoung, stop lying to the children and actually teach them, I wanted you to get the kids interested in computers”
    • “I was nothing but a boy with a monkey and a magic carpet,,,”
  • You two come up with a plan to get kids more interested in computers and he’s in charge <3
    • He loves teaching all the children! They’re all silly and goofy like him
  • He has no idea where he would be without you and he’s so glad he met you

*SAERAN

  • This boy has no idea, like none at all
  • Rika chose you to retrieve the phone, and he was just supposed to follow you
    • And he knows like nothing about pop culture “It’s useless information that’ll take up space in my brain” so he didn’t know who you were
  • He finds out one day when he sees an article about you helping open up a school in a third world country???
    • Like he thought you were amazing before
    • You were the one who helped him through his therapy, through all the nightmares that plagued his nights, through all the bad thoughts that overwhelmed him
    • In his head, you’d always been his queen
    • But it turns out you’re actually a princess?!?!
  • And you help so much around the world
    • He could deal with you being a princess if it weren’t for the fact that you were a huge philanthropist
    • You educated women in India about reproductive health??? You helped teach disabled children in China??? yOU DONATED 25 MILLION DOLLARS TO A HOSPITAL IN SEOUL???
  • He actually killed someone and you helped people live longer and better
  • He actually avoids you for a few weeks after he finds out
    • He’s just having a hard time coming to terms with it? You’re a goddess and he’s the devil, why are you with him?
  • But you weren’t having any of it, you literally kicked his door down, you gave him his space and now you were going to talk
    • He ends up crying in your lap
  • But you manage to talk it out with him and you make it very clear that you aren’t going anywhere
    • “I love you, okay? You don’t have to understand why I do, but you need to know that I do. I don’t care if you think I deserve better because I choose you, Saeran. I will always choose you.”
  • He eventually decides he wants to help people with you
    • Yes, he made a huge mistake in the past, one that he is so sorry for, and he will spend the rest of his life trying to make up for that
    • He’s no V, he’ll never be an angel, but he’s sure as hell gonna make the world a less crappy place
  • He comes up with so many great ideas!
    • Music programs for underprivileged children! Reading classes for uneducated adults! Programs that help teenagers get work experience!
  • He creates so many outreach programs and he’s so happy that you gave him the chance to do that
  • Started from the bottom now we’re here

*V

  • This boy is as clueless as Saeran
  • Between photography and Rika and being a dumbass, he doesn’t pay much attention to the world
  • ·      He ends up finding out through Jumin??
    • “Oh by the way MC’s father is going to be visiting my father, we’re going to talk about having MC model for one of our products”
    • “wHAT”
  • He’s honestly so happy though
    • You’re such a fantastic person who else could put up with him pining after Rika for so long and you deserve everything
    • You deserve all the praise and attention you get
  • He totally doesn’t fantasize about becoming a prince
    • And he so doesn’t go around singing Disney songs
    • “anD AT LAST I SEE THE LIGHT”
    • “what was that honey?”
    • “Thinking about the top 10 things a blind person will never say”
  • This boy is such a saint, you two implement a program to help disabled children
    • And not only does he help implement the program, but he actually participates in it???
    • Crying cause V deserves the world
  • He becomes your family’s official photographer!
    • This happens because he was lowkey salty when you hired someone else for an event
    • “Oh you need my help getting something from the high shelf??? Why don’t you ask that photographer?”
    • V pls shut up
  • But you do drag him to one of your photoshoots and after that he’s as addicted as Zen
    • You two make such a beautiful couple, how could he not be addicted???
    • He has pictures of you everywhere in his house
    • And he knows how much you love him, he can always feel it, but he absolutely adores the expression on your face when you’re looking at him and seeing it from an outside perspective makes him want to cry
  • He loves you so much, you’re his goddess <3
Five Times Ladybug Didn't Recognize Her Partner and One Time She Did

A sequel to Five Times Gabriel Agreste Didn’t Akumatize His Son and One Time He Did. I really wanted to leave it as it was, but I had to come back and give this a happier ending. And of course it ran away from me and got way longer than I meant it to.

I hope you enjoy!


“Is everything okay, kitty?”

Chat Noir looked over at her. “What?”

“You seem a little out of it.”

He shrugged. “No, just…” He sighed. “My dad’s not coming to something kind of…important to me.”

She frowned. “I’m sorry.”

“I mean, I knew he wouldn’t, but… I guess I hoped things would be different now.”

“Different?”

“It’s nothing.”

By the way he looked at her, she knew she shouldn’t press. After all, there was only so much they could share without revealing their identities. “Well…” she gently patted his shoulder. “Maybe you can ask some friends to come instead.” She wished she could attend, but without knowing who he was, that would be impossible.

Sometimes, keeping their identities safe was difficult and even painful, but she knew it was better this way. Once they’d discussed it, he’d even agreed with her.

Still, as Marinette watched Adrien play at his recital, painfully aware of Gabriel Agreste’s absence, she couldn’t help but wonder if someone had gone to Chat Noir’s event to support him the way she, Nino, and Alya had attended Adrien’s recital. She hoped so.

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UPDATED: FAKE RELATIONSHIP AU
Harry and Louis fake a relationship for publicity. Eventually it becomes a lot less fake and a lot more real.“Do you want to fuck stuff up Louis?” Harry asked with a dark look to the corner of the room where Harry McGee was laughing with an old friend.
Louis nodded; he knew Harry’s story and Harry knew his. Harry had Kendall, Louis had Eleanor and they both had their managers and their bands and their stupid fake images because a celebrity had to be straight.
Harry took Louis’ small hand in his and pulled him through the crowds and various rooms until they were stood in front of two pulsing speakers where Niall was filming Liam on the decks. Harry looked at Niall’s phone, saw where the camera was pointing and pulled Louis right into it’s view.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Harry checked, leaning over Louis almost protectively. “I hardly know you.”
“You don’t need to.” Louis replied with a swallow and Harry pulled him in for a kiss that Louis hadn’t realised he was waiting for.
OR
An AU where Louis is the lead singer of The Rogues, Harry is the lead singer of White Eskimo and both are sick of being in the closet so kiss one night to fuck with the mediaHarry could barely breathe at even the possibility of getting to be Louis Tomlinson’s fake boyfriend. Louis was his favorite actor since childhood, when Louis was also a child on the big screen. The guy he had always looked up to. The guy whose poster he used to kiss every night before bed. The guy whose movies Harry would watch all night until his eyes couldn’t possibly stay open anymore. Harry was pretty sure Louis Tomlinson wasn’t even real—he couldn’t be.
or the fake relationship au where Harry is an aspiring musician and also Louis’ biggest fan–until he actually meets him.Though Harry is glad Liam cares about him, he also really hates that Liam cares about him. Liam’s coworker Louis really isn’t Harry’s type - he probably even listens to commercial radio, for God’s sake.
In which Harry and Louis go to great lengths to appease Liam, Louis’s taste in music broadens dramatically, and Harry stops pretending to be a Huge Pretentious Douche all the time.AU. Louis’ ex doesn’t get jealous of anyone besides Harry. Harry helps Louis use that to his advantage.Notoriously closeted boyband member Harry Styles is famous on a global scale, meanwhile Louis, as his best friend, is back home in Manchester, living the typical life of a 24 year old. When Harry needs Louis with him in LA, a publicity stunt gone wrong changes their friendship forever.
A fake-relationship AU between two lifelong best friends.

The One Direction PR management team decides that Harry needs to get married. Harry doesn’t want to. Louis comes up with the perfect solution to the problem.

AU. As the first British footballer to come out at the prime of his career, it helps that Louis Tomlinson is in a long-term, committed relationship. Even if that relationship is fake. (Featuring Niall as Louis’ favourite teammate, Liam as Louis’ agent, and Zayn as Liam’s boyfriend, who just happens to be good friends with one Harry Styles.)

Louis is going into the Army, Harry is going nowhere, and there’s nothing like a little identity fraud between friends.

“I’ll do it,” Harry offers brightly. No one even blinks. “I’ll do it?”
Louis sighs irritably. “Shut up,” he orders, tossing a pillow in the general direction of Harry’s face. This is a terrible time for jokes, especially Harry’s lame, old people ones.
Not that it was an old people joke. Just that most of the time Harry’s jokes consist of knock-knocks or terrible puns. The type of jokes old people like, Louis’ pretty sure. His nan always finds them hilarious when Harry tells her one.
Harry bats the pillow out of the air without even blinking. “Be reasonable, Lou,” he says in his most reasonable voice.
Louis is perfectly reasonable, thank you very much, and he’s also frustrated and upset and tired and he really wants to punch something. Maybe he should have held on to that pillow a little longer.
“You’re not gonna fucking do it,” he snaps. “That’s the last thing I need.”

After a misunderstanding with Liam’s mother, Louis agrees to accompany his best friend to a family wedding and pretend to be the world’s best boyfriend. But their simple plan goes awry when he learns that Harry, ex-boyfriend/ex-love of Louis’ life, will also be in attendance.

In the grand scheme of things, finding a date for a wedding should be no problem for Louis Tomlinson. He’s rich. He’s handsome. He’s reasonably well behaved. But when the wedding is for his lifelong best friend (and former boyfriend), and is happening in under a month, finding a date for the ceremony and accompanying festivities becomes more of an adventure than he ever could have planned for.

when actor Louis Tomlinson used to daydream about dating Harry Styles, this is not what he had in mind.
  • Nobody shines the way you do (115k, chaptered)
    Louis pretends to be Harry’s boyfriend to help him win back his douchebag ex-boyfriend, but things don’t go according to plan.

anonymous asked:

41. Comfort Food, anyone but Hunk--everyone has comfort food, not just foodies ;3

(send me a number and I’ll write a micro story using the word or phrase!)

“Popcorn,” Lance says. “Like, movie theatre popcorn. With extra butter.”

“Gross,” Keith says, shuddering.

“Oh yeah? What’s your comfort food then, mullet man?”

“Don’t call me that.” Keith crosses his arms, considering the question seriously before he answers. “Hot chocolate, maybe.”

“That’s a drink,” Pidge says, pointing at him. “Doesn’t count.”

“I think it’s okay so long as it’s real hot chocolate?” Hunk says. “You know, actual melted chocolate with milk, not that powdery crap.”

“Ah, but is melted chocolate a food, or a liquid?” Lance asks.

“Both?” Shiro offers, looking up from his datapad.

Lance wags his finger. “Nope, no no no, we don’t do that middle of the road stuff here. Gotta pick one.”

Shiro shrugs, pushing away from the table and wandering towards the fridge, ducking inside for a water bottle.

“I like my middle of the road approach,” he says.

“My Dad–” Keith starts, only to cut himself off, nearly choking on the words. Everyone turns to him, startled and wide-eyed, uncomfortably attentive.

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I Thought You Hated Me - Part 2

Original Request from @brieflybigwonderland​: Hi! Not sure if it is too soon to be asking for requests with you just starting this blog but you did an amazing job with the one I sent to your primary blog so I know you will with this one 😀 I’m thinking that reader works with The Avengers and she gets along with them all….apart from Bucky. They seem to hate each other and one night end up being the only ones in the gym, insults soon get thrown into the mix but then something changes and the situation gets more….hot? ❤ haha!

Note: So due to the very popular response to the first part and a few of you asking for a part 2 here it is! This is my first time going full on into smut so I apologise if it is terrible. Hopefully you all enjoy it just as much as the first part.

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Words: 1,885

Warning: Serious smut and slight dub-con. NSFW

Disclaimer: None of the GIFs used are mine. All credit goes to their creators <3

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Jeanere/Erejean Fic Rec Masterpost

HELLO!! Some people have been asking me to do a fanfic rec for a while so here I am! 

on repeat by seabear - Eren and Jean are angry pizza delivery boys. They fall in love.

Traffic Colors by Freekish - Jean and Eren drabbles in a BDSM au. 

story without words (folie à deux) by andreaphobia - Eren and Jean in a world where they could have been happy.

Slammin’ shots and marry a man by pocketsizedtitan - It’s spring break. They get drunk. Marriage and sex ensues.

beach au by dizzyondreams - Eren moves into the house opposite Jean’s.

dudebro au by searwrites (sears) - erejean skater dudebros that dont get along and then do.

I Love You Verse by sciamachy - Or Jean’s Eight Attempts at Confessing to Eren

Leaving On The Fifth by avoidingavoidance - Even on a great night like tonight, Jean is the literal definition of cranky, but that doesn’t stop an overly-friendly Brit named Eren from trying to be his friend.

College, Careers, and Kids… Time Flies! by DeathsLastPrayer - Eren and Jean and the life they build together -from college to old age if they don’t fuck anything up in between!

roadtrip au by dizzyondreams - Jean and Eren inadvertently end up on a road trip alone together.

Appetence (bad blood) by catsonfire - Eren had his expectations, upon receiving his letter to Hogwarts, upon finding out that he was a wizard child born to two muggles without an ounce of wizard blood in the lineage. (…) Above all, he wasn’t prepared for Jean Kirstein.

Good Morning, Asshole by artenon - Internet personalities Eren Yeager and Jean Kirschtein meet, clash, hate each other, become friends, and fall in love. Fun times are had by all.

Allons-y by sandwichtree - Jean becomes progressively more protective of the worst possible candidate.

Bound Together by NormieScum - Eren and Jean bump into each other on Spring Break as strangers and end up getting ‘stuck’ together for a night. They’re both assholes but they click instantly :)

5:02AM by Winterreise - After a rude awakening early in the morning, Jean returns to the bedroom and discovers a rather…thrilling way to go back to sleep.

friends with benefits au by dizzyondreams

tell me we’ll be just fine by andreaphobia - Eren’s a drug addict, Jean’s a washed-up freelance writer, and they’re no good for each other. They’re really, really not.

How to Salvage a Terrible Date by jtjenna (pornographicpenguin) - We’re going on a blind date - but wait a moment, aren’t you the one that went down on me in a back alley behind a club year ago? … what do you mean “which one”?

A Series of Unrelated Events Starring Jean x Eren by DeathsLastPrayer - We find Jean x Eren in various settings and plots but always together in the end… or eventually.

in which david bowie is an enabler by dizzyondreams - Eren has had a crush on Connie’s weird, basement dwelling art student brother Jean for so long.

dat jeaneren smut.doc by Sycophantism - Jean and Eren are fighting. Then they’re frotting. Oops.

Habits by Hanaji_ga_Eren - Before he knows it, one of his one night stands just keeps showing up in his life, and they become much more than either intended. Jean slowly realizes that he doesn’t need the coping mechanisms that he’s used so far, as long as Eren’s there to make him feel like a person again.

Fricition by sciamachy - is still friction when it comes to lower body parts. Drabble Collection

Pousse-café by Variabile - Jean accidentally sends half-naked selfies to an unlisted number in his contact list and it’s all downhill from there.

sea change by andreaphobia - Eren and Jean find each other in prison.

clinquant by crunchrapsupreme - It’s not really that big of a deal, Jean thinks. Friends cuddle with each other all the time, right?

and give no warning to her flight. by albion - He keeps on finding him; him, of all people, and his not-mother had told him once that the people you meet have been put in your life for a reason, but Eren can’t work out why for the life of him why fate had decreed that in every universe he keep on finding Jean.

there’s a fire burning within me by jeanpls - Eren’s floating and desires the closeness of another human being.

Mating Ain’t Easy When Your Mate Is An Alpha Wannabe by DeathsLastPrayer - Jean x Eren are placed in an ABO setting as werewolves but it’s kind of like Romeo & Juliet when you consider the fact that Jean’s a City wolf and Eren’s from the forest and no one wants them to be together (they don’t even want to) but they are. Because they’re eternal mates.

Bring Your Best by tanyart - 24 hours without kissing and a still lot of kissing.

the thaw by dizzyondreams - “Yeah, well, at least you didn’t sacrifice your Saturday morning in bed to trek across the state to some bullshit wedding where I have to be your fake boyfriend.” Jean grumbled. God, saying it out loud like that made it seem even stupider than it was.

pulse to pulse by dizzyondreams - The smell of cigarette smoke made Jean stop short, and he peered down the stairwell to see what seemed like a lump of blankets sitting on the bottom step, his usual smoking place.

Frustration of Thunk by SkyChasingDreamer - Jean kept chopping and stacking, the pile growing higher one piece at a time. The sun and sweat made Jean’s skin shine and Eren loathed that. He had a special and particular hate for the hair sticking itself to Jean’s forehead, matted down with wetness that darkened the sandy brown color.

erejean fic collection by searwrites (sears)

dead dreams and debauchery scenes by dizzyondreams - It’s 2am and Jean’s mind is ticking over with deadlines and thoughts of his future and a terrible rising panic about never falling asleep that night, again.

Arcadia by andreaphobia - Eren loses his way, then finds it again… with a little help.

the lowlight by searwrites (sears) - modern au where jean is a couple of years older than eren

Chronos by callmeabs - Four years ago, Eren hated Jean with everything he had, for everything Jean was, including how his own gut was telling him that Jean Kirstein was going to be a permanent problem (fixture) in his life.

A Taste for the Illegal by KuraraOkumura - Jean and Eren are pursued by the police after robbing a bank, and Jean tells Eren to hide in the backseat of their car while they wait for the police to pass. Eren wasn’t expecting the other boy to hide…right on top of him. Things get a little steamy after that. 

Love is Confusing and Life is Hard by kiwisaurus121 - Jean wakes up to find a stranger on his couch. He’s still not sure why he didn’t call the police, but at least he gets a kitten out of it.

EreJean Week 2014 by pandaspots

Eren x Jean Drabbles
by Chukabu00 - Random one-word inspired drabbles on the life of Eren and Jean. In no particular order. Contains some M-rated content from time to time, some married fluff, modern AU.

sun-drenched dream by dizzyondreams - Besides, he had a real nice thing going on with the cute son of a local winemaker that he didn’t want to sacrifice just yet.

Welcoming for Strangers by thanatopis - Eren Yeager and Jean Kirstein have known each other since high school and have very little good things to say about one another. So when Jean comes back from his trip abroad in France, old things are rehashed despite Eren not wanting them to be.

Heart-Shaped Glasses by Emery - “Everything should have been so much clearer now that Eren could see, but the fact of the matter was—it wasn’t. Jean’s face may have been distinct, but Eren’s feelings for him were still as blurry and muddled as they had always been.”

Like A Horse To Water by WolfNotFawn - The Jaegers had lived beside the Kirstein ranch for more than seven years now, but as far as Jean was concerned, Eren was no more than a thorn in his side. If you asked anybody else, they would tell you it was a little more complicated than that.

and you feel like the ocean by dizzyondreams - Jean’s car pulled up outside Eren’s house at 2am sharp, and by 2:30 Eren was pressing him against it for a welcome-back kiss. His skin was warm under his fingers, as if he was still holding lingering heat from the day.

daffodils by crunchrapsupreme - Jean learns that Eren’s favorite flower is a daffodil.

cobwebs and storagerooms by Sexycanofsoup - Sometimes all it takes to get two angsty boys to crack is to lock 'em up in a dirty old room for a while. The big stupid homo crushes tend to reveal themselves without much effort after that. A story of cleaning, confessions, and awkward blushing boys who know how to use their fists better than their words.

cross country trek by supportingcharacters - Jean wakes up at 2am to Eren Jaeger in his car outside, beeping his horn and insisting that he wants to go to the beach. 

The Simple Things by supportingcharacters - Every Thursday, Eren goes to the same drive thru to pick up lunch. Even with the new asshole of a server, he won’t be deterred. Though maybe the new asshole of a server isn’t actually as bad as he thought.

As It Is by Chaeriee (cheshireree) - Eren, Jean and all the trouble that comes with them. A giant collection of old EreJean fics I have.

oh this town it’s so electric by dizzyondreams - The first time Jean saw Eren Jaeger, he was sweating and wearing glitter under the pulsing lights of some club in Stockholm. As he watched the strong line of his body move to the beat of the music, the hazy green lights flash across his face, Jean thought: he’s gonna be mine.

Nothing says 'I love you’ like a bunch of corpses by pandaspots - Jean is an FBI agent and someone has a killer crush on him. Literally. He has no idea how things got to this point, but he figures threatening the sicko he will do anything to see him cuffed and locked up has something to do with it.

a sleeping giant that you’ve woken by qaara (maladictive) - The world went to hell the day Jean Kirstein decided he gave a shit about Eren Jaeger’s emotional well-being.

clear the runway, prepare for takeoff by Piyo13 - July 1948. Jean Kirstein, U.S. Airforce pilot, has been called back to Germany in the wake of WWII, in order to assist in the Berlin Airlift. Eren Jäger, West Berlin resident, has been helping unload cargo from British and American planes for almost a month, trying to keep the city of Berlin fed and warm. It’s grueling work for the both of them, but they make it work.

Seven Minutes in Heaven, Ninety Minutes in Hell by Armajesty (hinatella) - Eren is left with an even bigger one when a game of Seven Minutes in Heaven gets him trapped in a closet with his enemy-but-certainly-not-crush-because-ew Jean. 

Paper Kites by burlesquecomposer - When Eren Jaeger joined as a drummer for a small college indie rock band, he hardly expected it to develop into something more.

Creep by Variabile - Eren giving Jean a tattoo.

When We See the Sea by WhiteSilverandMercury - staring at eren is like staring into the sun, they say it blinds but men do it anyway; and jean is a young man who wears his heart on his sleeve but guards it with the spade ready to dig his own grave.

What We Will Find by jtjenna (pornographicpenguin) - a modern au in which very many slightly related and very goofy things occur.

unintentionally burnt pancakes by venator - Someone set fire to some pancakes once upon a time and it was all downhill from there.

pink lips, pink lace by dizzyondreams - “These aren’t mine you-” He turned just in time to see Eren wriggling into his slightly undersized trousers and caught a flash of something before he pulled them over his hips. Something lacy and distinctly pink. Jean’s words dried up in his mouth.

Doomed from the Start by Engineer104 - Eren found the documents entirely by accident. An Unwind AU.

Working Past It by tyrellis - No matter what Jean may say, it’s not Eren’s fault that this happened: he was just innocently searching for a working vending machine. Jean had the good voice, and sang in French, and seemed like an angel. Eren feels entirely justified in the disappointment he feels when he discovers Jean’s actually a massive dickhead.

bound to fall for you by dizzyondreams - Later, on the bus back to their apartment, Eren went on a stoned rant about Jean’s profile that Armin patiently sat through with a quiet air of bemusement. Mikasa just stared out of the window and offered the occasional, “Believe me, he’s an ass.” to which Eren paid no attention. He officially had a new crush.

Magnolia lights by peralta - Jean enjoys his days working at the flower shop. He’s never had so much fun, though, as when a bright-eyed boy stops by every Friday asking for tulips.

To Win is to Lose by somethingintheireyes - “The first one to fall in love loses.” “Heh, you picked the wrong opponent Jaeger, you’re on. ”

god tier emo au by dizzyondreams - There was something odd about him, something that interested Eren when all that interested him anymore was drumming. The way the look in his eyes, the curve of his mouth, didn’t quite match up with the rest of him. First violin, some button-down rich boy, but Eren had found him beating the shit out of a guy in an alley. Blood dark against his shirt, and his eyes like flint behind the trail of Eren’s cigarette.

That’s it! I’ve read SO MANY lovely jeanere fics so I’m pretty sure I’m missing some but I think that for now this list is good :) I’ll be updating this whenever I read new awesome fics so yeah! stay tuned! You can find some more nice fics here !
last update: 21st february 2017

Absolution

Author: @sebastianstandoffish

Pairing: Reader (She/Her) x Steve

Summary: Steve has to come to terms with his mistakes, and maybe learn how to grow from them.

Word Count: 3,638

Category: Angst/Fluff

Warnings: Cursing like a sailor, Anxiousness, Mentions of injury, blood, etc.

A/N: It’s been a long time, friends! I sat down and actually finished this baby. I’m pretty happy with how it turned out. Hope you enjoy!


A rough mission gone south is all it took to push them that far, yanked at their muscles and their sanity until they snapped. It was a brutal fight, the first real one they’d had in a long time, full of precisely sharpened words, ones that would surely strike deep.

Funny, the damage you can do when you love someone, when you know them so well that you have access to the deepest, darkest places in their soul.

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Beware the Ides of March

this isn’t the fic i intended to write today (or ever really) but it’s the fic that happened so

read on ao3

Bellamy doesn’t believe in any higher power, not really. He also doesn’t believe in fate, or coincidence, or any of those other things that people like to blame random happenings on.

But he will admit that if he did actually believe in any of those things, he would be fully convinced that they were laughing at his misfortune at this very minute which. Honestly, he would be too if not for the stab wound in his side. Stab wounds apparently make the whole laughing thing kind of difficult. Who’d’ve known.

“Would you just hold still?” Clarke huffs as she tries to clean the wound.

“No.”

“You’re incorrigible.”

“And your bedside manner sucks, princess.”

She pinches the soft skin on the inside of his bicep and he yelps, glaring at her balefully.

It’s not like he wants to be here, sitting on the uncomfortable examination table in the ER, shirt off, and paper crinkling noisily beneath him each time he so much as breathes. No one ever wants to be in the ER, leaking blood all over the place because they were fucking stabbed in a mugging gone wrong, not even if the opportunity lends itself to a bout of truly morbid humour.

Just this morning he was telling his sophomores about the Ides of March and now here he is, living his own version of it. Again, he would be laughing except- stab wound.

Clarke is bent over his side, wisps of blonde hair escaping her braid and looking platinum in the harsh fluorescent hospital lighting. Her eyebrows are furrowed as she goes over the cut with antiseptic, and he hisses once more.

“That hurts,” he grunts, and then flinches again when she goes back in with another piece of gauze. Most of the bleeding has stopped, but there’s still a lazy trickle that she has to keep wiping up intermittently.

“Stab wounds tend to do that,” she deadpans.

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Trailing wishes

a/n: a short story I wrote for a writing club meeting.

There once was girl who was cursed by a mischievous jinn. Her parents stared on in horror as he laughed and said-

“No caveats. A wish free of strings.”

And then he disappeared.

But they had little to fear, because their daughter was also blessed with a bone deep wisdom. Her curiosity was crossed with brambles of temperance, a little bit of blooming pragmatism that prevented her from ever using the wish.

Her first test came when she was six.

She’d wanted a pony for so long…but there was no room in her bed and no room in her yard.

And while the wish battered at her pursed lips, she staunchly refused. The stars were glittering outside her window, beckoning her to make her wish. But she merely shook her head, and wrote down her desire in her yearly to Santa Claus.

She knew it wouldn’t give her what she wanted, but it was the best way to save herself the heartache of a wish.

Because there’s always a catch to the see sort of things.

She grows up with lessons of hard work. Her parents were immigrants. People who believed that the best of life could be reached through effort. So her blessed wish is tucked to the back of her memories.

She lives as she learns. Everything tastes so much sweeter with effort, and even when her hands are rough and she makes terrible mistakes, she simply laughs and files away that lesson for later.

She lives a good life into young adulthood.

And then it becomes one of bittersweetness.

Her mother is cursed with a failing body. The wish is close to breaking through. She’s close to her beside, and when she’s just about to say it, her mother’s eyes flare open and wildly look at her.

Her frail fingers wrap around her wrist and she says.

“Don’t. This is the way it should be.”

The girl merely weeps in agreement, and she learns to live with the lifelong resentment her father looks at her with after her mother passes.

So she lives and loves.

She meets a man. She loves him enough to tell him about her curse.

He calls it a blessing. That should have tipped her off to the worst part of him.

He’s loving. He’s cheerful. But she can’t really blame him for his greed. Ambition is a wonderfully potent thing, and when it clouds your sight, you’ll hurt to get what you want.

He hurts her. With words and with lovers.
He tells her, if you loved me, you would make that wish for me.

Still, her wisdom wins out over her aching, shattered love. She gathers the remnants of what she once felt for him, and hurls them into the depths of her soul.

There’s no need for a clean goodbye.

When he wakes to an empty bed and half the closet free, he regrets.

But she’s long since flown away, her wish trailing despondently behind her.

She travels instead.

She lets the love of humanity fill her to the brim, lets her smile unfurl for those she meets in a strange new land. She helps where she can and learns what she wants.

It’s an existence that comes not without a bit of effort, because in a distant land, she finds a jinn.

It’s a starry night. Her campfire is starkly bright orange against the dark rolling hills of the desert. The bedouins she travels with tell her stories, and when they head off to sleep, one by one, she stays awake. Listening to the crackling of the fire.

It seems to speak, and she swears she can hear it say-

“Why do you not make a wish?”

She answers with a smile of her own, slightly apprehensive that she speaks to a fire.

“Because I want to make my own path.”

The fire remains silent, innocently burning.

“Your own path?” The response comes from a delicately featured man who sits beside her.

He’s dressed in the robes of her travel companions. White and flowing, but his smile is curious and his eyes are golden as the embers that burn close to her toes.

She doesn’t know him.

But there’s something that unfolds at the back of her mind. An answer that tumbles like starlight to the tip of her tongue as she clamps down on her will.

He’s dangerously beckoning. Dangerously uncorking her curiosity.

But she stands firm in her humanity.

“I have no need for wishes, jinn.” She mutters stubbornly, picking at the folds of her blanket. She pointedly meets his gaze, determination etched into her expression. “As a matter of fact, if it’s in your ability, would you please take away the one you gave me.”

He laughs. It’s round, pretty type of laugh that sends shivers down her spine.

And then he shakes his head.

“I wasn’t the jinn that gave you that wish. But it calls me. It trails off of you like a comets’ tail. Are you sure you don’t want it granted?”

She shakes her head firmly, and she merely looks up at the star strewn sky.

“No thank you. I’m content.”

“Content. Not happy?”

“Happy too. And sad. And angry…and everything that I want to feel.”She simply shrugs.

“Curious…very curious. And would you rather spend the rest of your days wondering what would have happened if..”

“If what?” She asks dully, and then sighs. “If I’d wished for my mother to live? If I’d wished to be accepted into that graduate program? If I’d wished for my ex to be successful?”

“If you’d wished for a small horse.” He adds in blithely. And then he gives that same infuriating lovely laugh.

“Sure. If I’d wished for a pony, I’d be more than content…at that moment…when I was eight. If I’d wished she had lived, I would have lost her eventually and she would have hated me for taking away her choice. If I’d wished him success, would he have still loved me?”

She unravels for a bit as she says all of this, and he sees beyond the frustration and the hurt. She’s genuinely living. Hurting and laughing and understanding.

“And you’re correct. Who’s to say that the road not taken would have been a better life?”

“I can’t say. But life’s too short to regret.” She smiles at him. “But I’m going to keep going forward, even if all I am in the end is a shooting star that can’t last.”

“Fair choice.” He agrees and with a musing look. “I could learn much from you.”

She laughs.

“You could learn much from yourself, jinn.”

He makes his own wish. That he may stay to learn a bit more of how to live a life not plagued by certainty.

“May I stay with you until I learn?” He asks quietly, and while he may have an inkling of the future, his path is uncertain for once.

The girl simply shrugs her shoulders underneath her blanket.

“Sure.”

He hums in gratitude, and they watch the stars wheel across the sky into a watery dawn. The wish trailing from her like a shooting star, and his own wish crackling like a patient fire.

His presence is explained in vague terms to her travel companions and is accepted with little suspicion.

And they live a life of learning and regrets. But still she makes no wish, and still, he stays by her side.

She grows old. He’s a being of magic and mayhem, and he does not.

As she’s dying, he holds her withered hand in between his. He is tearful, and for once, her curiosity is free from its bounds and it sparks in her eyes.

“Your wish…you’re falling, my dearest friend.”He tells her, his tears falling hot and heavy against her wrinkled smile.

And she whispers her last words-

“I wish I had lived a life where I made a wish.”

He doesn’t have anything to say to that, because she slumps back onto her pillow.

She made her wish while she still lived. There’s nothing left for him to grant.

He understands then what she had known all along. The value of accepting your choices is a precious thing.

A Touch Of Love, 1.

Genre | Romance / Valentine’s Day drabbles.

Pairing | Kim Taehyung / Reader.

Prompt“No, like– It’s just, I can’t believe you’re actually wearing my clothes.”

Words | 1,099 words.


Kim Taehyung knows better than to expect you to be on time.

It is but a mere concept created by humanity! You will always exclaim as a feeble excuse to defend your indisputable lack of management when it comes to the twenty-four hours of a day. There is no doubt about it that you leave important, need-to-be-attended-to matters to the final, clutching seconds before they are due, and that a decent handful of minutes are lost between the spaces of your fingers, squandered to distractions and procrastination.

It is a behaviour that Taehyung hates to adore, a terrible skill that you have refined to the marrow, yet he cannot deny how unbearably endearing it is. Most especially when you arrive just on time, blood flushing your cheeks, eyes shining with the sting of the wind where it cut into the delicate film while you ran, the air punched out of your lungs though you still kiss him as though you are not already lightheaded enough.

Today is no different. Except it is. It is! Because today defines the anniversary that the one and only Kim Taehyung took you out on the first date of a drive-in theatre soaked in the hues of twilight and learned that you could point out all of the constellations in the sky and discovered what buttered popcorn tastes like when stuck in the crevices of your lips and how delightfully warm his hand feels when it is carefully positioned beneath lace in the opening created by your unbuttoned, unzipped jeans. The two of you found love underneath placid starlight in the blanket-laden tray of his ancient truck, a devotion that has been strung in unraveling silk, tied to the towball of the vehicle parked before a screen bigger than imaginable, laced around the bedpost of the room you first made unforgettable love amongst freshly washed sheets, knotted and bound in the landmarks that the both of you claimed as your own along the way in your venture of redamancy until this very moment right here. The third anniversary. Marking the longest relationship that Taehyung has ever had the rapture of being enamoured by, the sole one that he truly believes will continue on until his final breath on this earth.

And you are late. As per usual.

The coffee that Taehyung nurses in the comfort of the outdoor cafe awning is lukewarm by the moment that he notices the escalating soundtrack of sneakers slapping sharp against the pavement, loose pebbles crunching beneath the soles in their trek. And, in that time, there is not a moment to spare to turn around and spectate your approach for you are already skidding into view by the side of the table, a grin splitting your flustered features into that of a crescent moon, arms goofily lifted in the air and Taehyung just about falls in love all over again.

“Happy–” You dive onto his shores, collapsing the entirety of your weight onto his seated, gratified self and kissing him absolutely silly amidst your words– “Third– Anniversary– Lover!”

Taehyung cups your blushing features between his palms, framing beauty and the one thing in this world that he adores like no other, holding your catastrophic entity so preciously. There is honey still pressed to your lips and he yearns for more, bringing your mouths together in gentle intimacy until the rubescent simmer of your cheeks is suitably attributed to the way he dips his tongue into the parted seam of your lips, rather than the urgent sprint you made from the apartment to meet him on the cusp of his ending lunch break.

“You’re hopeless,” Taehyung teases, kisses you once more for good measure, public displays of affection be wholly damned. “Did you just wake up?”

Cheekily, you grin wider and slink away from his hold to position yourself in the opposite seat, red hands on unadulterated display. “Technically, it’s still morning.”

“For only ten more minutes, silly girl.” Affection inflects his tone, and now that you are right here, living and existing before him, the desire to abandon the remaining five hours of his shift to spend the day with you tugs earnestly at his heart. “You still taste of… Breakfast…”

The remainder of Taehyung’s sentence dies on the tip of his tongue as he gets a good look at you, a really good look, beyond the staring at your face that his eyes have been trained on doing since the second you arrived. Practically swallowing your torso is, unmistakably, his own sweater of black and white stripes, the hem tucked into the front of your jeans while the arms are cloaked in the denim of, yet again, his own jacket. The sheer nonchalance that flows confidently in your movements as you flick through a menu has him completely unsure as to whether you realise that you are currently wearing his clothes, or if the sheer rush of getting here enforced you to throw on whatever you could find without noticing the size difference in the attire.

“Is there something on my face?” And Taehyung, in his bewildered state, comes to realise that you are blinking at him, eyebrow raised.

“Ah– No, it’s just that… My clothes–”

A small bubble of laughter escapes your lungs, lowering your lashes to observe your fingertips picking at a loose thread on the cuff of the denim jacket, the tiniest smile nestled in the corner of your mouth. “Oh! Yeah, they are truly so comfy and they smell like your cologne, so I sometimes wear them out while running errands or visiting the university. I never realised you didn’t know! I hope you weren’t wanting to wear these tonight–”

“No, no– I just– They look unacceptably fantastic on you,” Taehyung gradually smiles, adoration swelling in his chest at the affectionate statement you so effortlessly declared. “You suit them more than I do.”

“Why thank you, but you know what they suit better?” You muse, and it is a trap that Taehyung, without realising, steps himself directly into as the sound of acknowledgement he creates is suspended in the air between you, and you are answering the cursed question with a smirk made for sinners.

“The floor.”

And let us just say that Taehyung never thought that the third anniversary with the love of his life would result in him nearly losing his job because he never returned from lunch. Though sometimes, love makes everyone enact upon ludicrous decisions – most especially for him when they are encouraged by the cunning, though adoringly beguiling likes of you.

Drabbles | One: KTH • Two: MYGThree: JHSFour: KNJFive: KSJSix: JJKSeven: PJM (Finale)

Pete| Bad Things |Dunne

Title; Bad Things

Words; 5,644

Pairing; Pete Dunne/Reader

Summary; I wanna do real bad things to you.

Warnings; NSFW. Porn without plot. Biting. Hair pulling. Choking. Orgasm denial. Latex free. If you squint and tilt your head to the side, some BDSM.

A/N; Y’all thought I forgot about you guys huh. Never fear. Momma’s back. Vegas was like a livewire to my brain. Child’s Play is coming this week. Leave some love and/or constructive words. 

Tag train:

@alexablss  @laochbaineann  @bettergetusetoit
@fuckyeahbulletclub  @covergirlcollarbones  @thedeboniardevistation  @amaranthine-reign  @leelakoiwolff @crookedmoonsaultpunk
@princess3733 @britishscoundrel
@bbmbabe  @alexahood21  @mrsuniverse
@sorleino   @sweet-and-stormy
@imaginingwwesuperstars  @wrasslin-x @iloveenzoamore @crossfitjesusinskinnyjeans   @tomsbookitten  @sarahmatthews7
@littledeadrottinghood   @wwelife0014   @alexispoo  @sjwriteswrestling-1
@wwesmutdonedirtcheap   @50shadesofadamcolebaybay
@screamersdontdance  @wwe-smutfics
@alexahood21  @tmsixone   @daintymissdevitt
@mistressbalor  @nickysmum1909   @wwewritings   @mgswdw  @finnbaelorxx   @shadow-of-wonder    @valeonmars
@neeadinghugs  @squirrel666   @jenn0755  @actualamyautopsy  
@ladylillianrose @valeonmars  @panicattheambrose
@thebutterflygirl16   @catie-kaboom   @aye-its-shaianne  @breezy14fan @lindseyrae20  @blondekel77  @skrillexslays13  @lisa-likes-wrasslin @danikajessyfandoms  @charismatickilljoy  @sunflowers-and-swear-words  @atravelerinspirit
@beckyylynchs  @baeckyshorsewomen  @darkgalaxy14 @hushothermuses @stayweirdlove   @superrezzy00  @blood-fells  @nerdy-cinnaqueen
@eleonora-dsb  @somewhere-in-ambrose-asylum
@little–alphabet–boy @chloebowiee   @shieldgirl95

Originally posted by samizayn

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A Play On Words

This one came to me while I was making pancakes and was partially inspired by the cute couple who came into work the other day. Please do let me know what you thought :) x

Originally posted by 16meets18

chose this gif purely for the dramatic look


He’s tinkering away in the kitchen with the smoothie maker when you enter it. You pause for a moment,watching him with interest as he moves back and forth between the counter as he adds ingredients to the mixer. He’s wearing his pajama, a pair of sweatpants snug low around his hips and to no surprise, he doesn’t have a shirt on. His hair, still messy from last night is poking out every which way and you have an urge to run your fingers through it. His back is towards you, but you know he’s got his eyes narrowed in concentration with his tongue sticking out of his mouth slightly as he adds just the right amount of coconut to the mixer. 

You lean off the doorway and make your way over to him, swinging your arms around his shoulders and press kisses to the back of his neck as you press your body into his. He stiffens for a quick moment before relaxing in your grip, “Morning, pet.” He mumbles, before turning his face to press a kiss to your temple.

You hum your greeting, squeezing him a bit tighter before you pull away and hop up onto the counter next to where he has the blender set up. You let your palms rest against the counter as you cross your ankles and lean forward, watching him with your brows raised. He’s got a careful eye on the blender, done putting ingredients in it and now adding the top to it, ring clad fingering hovering over the start button before his eyes shoot up and he smirks at you, 

“Yer wearin panties under tha’, aren’t yeh?” 

You frown at that, glancing down at your thighs, the shirt of his you had slept in the night before falling there. “Of course I am! You twat!” You squawk, eyes shooting up as you lean forward and use a hand to smack his chest. 

“Oi! S’just a question, kitten. We eat here, don’ we?” He says with a mischievous smirk, and before you can retort he’s hit the start button and smoothie maker is rumbling away.

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