if you do not share what i'm doing better unfollow me now

anonymous asked:

I'm in psychotherapy for my BPD - but my GAD & Depression are to much on top of my BPD symptoms. It's all too overwhelming, I developed GAD & panic attacks in the past year, I wish I was just BPD now. Everything is TOO INTENSE. Please help - my therapist only want to discuss BPD symptoms and underling causes really & we don't touch upon my anxiety.

Have you told your therapist that you want to work on your depression and anxiety? If you don’t come in asking to talk about something in particular, therapists will often choose a topic they think will be helpful. However, if you request a certain topic, it’s their professional responsibility to try to help you with that topic. Here are tips if you’re having trouble speaking up.

If you can’t tell your therapist or they’re not helping you, here are some ideas that might help you to cope with your symptoms.

General

  • Coping with overwhelming emotions
  • Know the signs. Pay close attention to what you’re feeling, physically and emotionally, as symptoms come on. Look for patterns. Making a record (eg writing it down) of what you learn is a good idea.
  • When you notice the signs, start using coping skills, and/or reduce triggers/stress (eg leave the room), if possible.
  • Tell the people around you how you want them to respond to your symptoms, if you’re comfortable doing so. Writing it down can help you explain it. You might like to describe how your symptoms make you feel so that they understand.
  • Staying organised with mental illness
  • Try to sleep (second link) and eat well, exercise enough, drink plenty of water, wash yourself regularly, and get enough fresh air and daylight. Here’s something to help (you’d better bookmark that link right away). Yes, all these things are much harder when you’re mentally ill, but the more of them you’re not doing, the worse you’ll feel, including your mental illness. You have to tend the meatsuit.
  • ^ Related to the above: here’s what I’m trying myself - I set myself a minimum number of self care tasks to do in one day (right now, 3). So instead of thinking “I have to shower, but I don’t want to, I can’t, it’s not happening” endlessly and going nowhere, I think “Do I want to shower, OR do I want to validate myself? Ugh I’m not up to positivity yet I’ll shower instead”. It’s been going alright, especially when I really don’t like one of the options, haha. Procrastinate your way into productivity! (But make sure your priorities are realistic, eg I don’t let myself skip meals in this way because no other coping skill can give me nutrition.)
  • On eating well: How to cope with weight gain / How to eat when you have no appetite / Bulimia recovery workbook / Recovering from a restrictive eating disorder / Recovery Record (mostly drawn from this masterpost)
  • Reduce unnecessary stress and bring positive things into your life. Unfollow that person whose posts upset you and put more kittens on your dash. Buy, make or print out something (or things) that makes you happy and put it/them in places you often go, or items you take with you. You don’t have to and probably wont immediately feel better, but being surrounded by positivity normalises it, so that it doesn’t feel so uncomfortable or forced anymore.
  • Try expressing your positive feelings aloud more often, if you can. I’ve found it makes a big difference if I acknowledge that I’m feeling good, or if I share any fond thoughts I have about other people with them. Try saying “I’m having fun” and “I’m happy” out loud when you are. It often makes people around you happier too.

Panic attacks

Anxiety

Depression

There are still more resources, many of them local (eg when I Google ‘depression’ I find a lot of Australian organisations and websites), that you can search for. You can also try the #actuallydepressed and #actuallyanxious tags, or look for blogs specifically for depression and/or anxiety.

If you are really unhappy with the treatment your therapist is giving you, you may want to think about whether seeing another therapist is an option. Here’s a post about finding the right therapist.

If you’re just not getting everything you want/need out of therapy because you have a lot going on, I sympathise and I recommend you plan to start learning and practicing coping skills (such as from the lists above) independently. When I do this, I tell my therapist what I’ve been learning, so we can discuss the skill and so my therapist can validate my self treatment.

- Exo

5

I can’t put into words how disappointed and heartbroken I am… 

You would think for a second, from one graphic/edit maker to another, they would understand the creativity, time, and effort that I pour into what I love doing, which is making edits/graphics. Especially when I put fair notices like this one:

But nope. As you can see, not only did they show a failure to read, they gave no indication or link back to me. Not that it would’ve mattered, because I do not allow my things to be uploaded anywhere else, period. It used to be not without my permission, but that’s changed precisely because of things like this. 

I was going to post translations on this blog of the Versus III CDs, including mini dramas, bonus short stories, etc (Ruki’s especially, since it seems he has a lot of fans, and ofc Ayato), but now, after seeing this, I’ve lost the interest. I asked for little in return, just a bit of respect to follow my rules, but maybe that’s too hard for some people, so I’ll make it simple. 

I know reposts happen all the time, but those are graphics that I made myself. And when I take measures to write IN ENGLISH not to repost, I expect there to be no misunderstandings when the reposter is a native speaker. What this likely means is that they reposted on purpose, and not because they ‘didn’t know any better’. Their google seems full of fanart reposts as well. 

Therefore, any future edits/graphics I make will likely have a big, fat watermark that brands any reposter as a thief, or it will be posted privately to a new blog. 

I don’t feel safe sharing what I love doing anymore.

Thanks for reading. I try to keep this blog drama-less, but I’ve had enough. I don’t understand people who can make their own edits but still choose to steal someone else’s. If you can eat with a fork and a knife, you can most certainly google how to learn to do things for yourself. 

It would mean more than you know if you can reblog this notice after reading it. Thanks again…

Boycott the 1OO on Social Media Masterpost

This is a masterpost about how you can boycott the 1OO on every social media. Please read up to end to know why it can  work.

YOUTUBE

Since the 1OO has come back, their views on videos on the CW channel have raised - especially the ones including Eliza, Alycia and Clexa - obviously because we were given a ridiculous amount of expectations, so we used to click in and watch for anything we could preview. Well, that’s over now!

How do you boycott the 1OO on Youtube?

  • STOP GIVING THEM VIEWS: they are inevitably going to drop anyway, because videos without them didn’t get many views. But the 1OO is the third most watched on the CW Channel (after Arrow and The Flash) so please, don’t watch out of curiosity. If you want me, I’ll download them when they’re out  and post them here with the tag ‘**video’ or something, I’ll tell you then. Tell me if you want me to do this, I will dl without clicking on the video and we’ll watch here.
  • GO TO THE OLD VIDEOS (especially the ones with not many views so no visibility) if you want to comment about what the show did and how you’re not going to watch anymore - even if it’s a fat ass lie, you’re just not gonna watch live. Argument and don’t offend. Be better.
  • IF YOU MAKE VIDEOS DON’T TAG THE SHOW, DON’T MENTION IT IN THE TITLE; just characters ship. It’s even better if you use shorts like we did on Glee. Example, Brittana videos were often tagged as B/S or Faberry as Q/R. Glee was often tagged as ‘eelg’.
  • This is already the dramatic difference between the last Inside and the promo for the next episode, so keep up the good work:

TWITTER

Keep in mind that social media is now considered a way of telling if a show is successful, it’s as important as ratings for the network so:

  • DON’T USE THE HASHTAG OF THE SHOW ANYMORE, even better if you stop using the hashtag of ships and all. It’s absolutely essential that you don’t use ‘#the100′.
  • DON’T MAKE TRENDS THAT MENTION THE SHOW, unless it’s to call it out on its bullshit. Don’t say ‘the 1OO’ enough that it will trend. Don’t mention it at all.
  • NOTE FOR POLLS: Don’t vote for Clexa in dumb polls, please. We will vote for Elycia in important polls where they can get awards and actual visibility. No Zimbio polls, etc., only the ones that matter. Small polls only give visibility to the show and y’all know it doesn’t deserve it. When it’ll come to serious polls we’ll vote our ass off for them because we love them.
  • UNFOLLOW JASON, this bitch literally used us to get to 100k and promised us a BTS pic that we never got anyway and he’s thirsty for followers and rts. Please, drag his ass down to under 100k so we can ask him if the 100 is a show about the 100k he lost and if we can have our bts pic now that he’s back to 100k lol.
  • UNFOLLOW CWTHE100, the CW will notice, trust me. When GleeonFox was desperate because they got unfollowers and rt’s, they started tweeting Brittana shit and we didn’t rted them because we knew they were using us. Unfollow them, the CW will notice, believe me.

TUMBLR

The writers are on Tumblr, the CW uses Tumblr like other media, so please CHANGE YOUR TAG FROM THE 100 TO THE 1OO. I think the100edit is okay, they won’t track that as a rating source.

IMDB

If you have an IMDB account, vote down all the new episodes, starting from 7 and vote up all the old ones. Drag them mercilessly. 

FACEBOOK

  • DON’T LIKE, videos and photos and all, don’t share. Just go and comment and express your disappointment. Don’t spread their posts.
  • UNLIKE THE PAGE, go when you feel like it, don’t follow them. The CW will notice the numbers going down.

IMPORTANT NOTES:

  • DON’T SEND THREATS: We’re better than this. Don’t send death threats to Jason and the writers. Also some of the writers admitted they didn’t agree on killing Lexa off somehow, so it’s even more pointless. They have to follow directions. Still, don’t send death threats to Jason. We don’t want him dead, we just want him off the show and the show with him.
  • DON’T WATCH LIVE, pals, trust me, go to sleep. It’s only getting worse, Lincoln is also dying. Download the episode, don’t watch on the CW site, don’t watch in DVR. 
  • GLEE STORY: If you’re not convinced this is going to work, listen up, my loves: Glee once reached 28 millions of viewers and at its worse it had 8-7 mlns. They called us angry lesbians, made one half of our OTP comment on the other with biphobic lines and Ryan Murphy said he was on Twitter ignoring Brittana tweets and drinking whine. Wanna know how low we dragged them? 1 million of views in Season 5. Wanna know what happened? FOX WASN’T SURE THEY WANTED TO RENEW IT AND MADE THEIR SEASON 6 WITH HALF THE EPISODES AND LESS THAN A MILLION OF VIEWERS. If we sank a FOX show that had reached 28 millions of viewers in Season 2, you can imagine what we can do the the barely 1-mln’ed the 1OO.

Don’t let this go unnoticed. They did not only kill our gay woman as any other show, and they are not only going to make their POC die out of the hands of two more people of color. They also gave us hope, pretended that it was a revolutionary show, used us for ratings purpose, tricked us into winning dozens of polls for them, deluded little girls into believing their love stories could be just like the others and then ended it up tragically with the ‘fatherly’ figure shooting his ‘gay daughter’ while trying to shoot ‘her girlfriend’. This horrible, people are suffering from it in real life. Don’t let it died.

They hurt us in real life, we hurt them back in a less personal way because we’re better. 

Jus drein jus daun

sheriockhomes-blog  asked:

I know this is a difficult question for you but I don't know where else to go. As you probably know Eddplant uploaded a hardly-even-apologising video, deleting all negative comments. Hearing this happened I went on to Alex Day's channel to see that he had liked the video and I know these two youtubers are still kind of big and I'm really worried the video gets big and a larger audience is gained for ed because he does not seem sorry. Is there a way to report the video/should something be done?

You know, very briefly there was a weak-willed part of me that didn’t want to weigh in on this for the sake of me and Ed’s old friendship, but when I learned that he’s not just deleting comments, but comments from his own victim, that’s not a luxury I’m affording anymore.

Ed was about the second person from YouTube to be publicly implicated in sexual abuse, and the first to try to come back (bearing in mind that the first person is now serving a prison sentence). He won’t be the last unless the community as a whole makes it clear that this is not an okay thing to do.

First thing’s first: DON’T WATCH. Literally do not even consider going to his or any of their channels to fuel your morbid “gottaseethis” curiosity over the ~drama~. I haven’t watched the video, instead getting my info from everywhere and everyone else. Even if you want to leave a negative comment, don’t, fuck it, you’re adding to an algorithm and he’s deleting them anyway. A view is a view, and the ability to thrive on controversy is what causes shit like this to happen all the time. Do not be responsible for those numbers climbing.

Secondly: There are and will be other YouTubers misguidedly aiding in any attempts at a comeback. DON’T LET THEM. Remove your support for anyone who appears to be facilitating the return of a known abuser; be it through liking/sharing their videos, promoting them or even (heaven forbid) collabing with them. Unsub and unfollow that person, let them know why. Let them know they’re fuelling a poisonous environment that will spread to their own audiences, and you want no part of it. Zero tolerance.

Lastly: Do not buy into any “everyone deserves a second chance” crap. So many people spout this like it’s an instantly redeeming Hail Mary but it’s just not a thing. Yes, almost everyone deserves the opportunity to improve themselves and start over, if they are willing and understand their transgressions; but when you burn your house down, you don’t sit in the ashes and try to piece them back together. You find another house.

Ed and all the others need to find somewhere else to rebuild their lives, because they have no place trying to shoehorn themselves back into a space where all the people they affected are still around and have been attempting to put it behind them, only to have their assailant shoved back in their face and mind with a “welcome back” pat on the shoulder.

The bravery of these young women in coming forward with their stories will mean absolutely nothing, if we aren’t prepared to continue listening to them and consider their feelings the entire way. The policy I adopted during this whole process is “no forgiveness until the victims* are satisfied” and will be sticking to that.

Also, sidenote: YouTube comments can be deleted, but tweets and Tumblr tags can’t. You have your tools. Don’t let people forget.

*victim is a bit of a blanket term and many people aren’t comfortable with it, but for lack of a better term I’m trying to be concise.

H’s guide to fandom

As made after a month break that was really quite refreshing. And recommended. 

- Clean your dash. Don’t think about popular blogs, don’t think about mutuals. If you don’t like the content they post, unfollow. Your dash should be however you want it. You want drama? Find it. You want peace and happiness and cute boys and never ever any drama? Find the blogs who reblog that content (it’s doable, trust me). You want occasional ballet pics or Harry Potter posts or biology facts or puppy pics? Find those blogs. Mix it up, it’s fun. 

- Is tumblr not fun today? Is there drama? Did something bad happen? Are anons freaking out in your inbox? Leave. Log out. Take a day off. You’re not obligated to follow what happens, you’re no obligated to be in the know all the time, you’re not obligated to function as an update account for confused anons. If it becomes too much, turn off anon for a while. It’s okay, it’s allowed. Take a day every now and then. If it’s all too uurrgghhhh, take an entire month; get it all put into perspective, get some distance. I promise, by the end of that month, you’ll know a lot more about how you want your tumblr experience to be. Maybe you don’t want to come back at all. That’s okay too. You don’t owe anybody anything.  

- Be nice. Always, always be nice. Respect others, respect their opinions and treat them nicely. Nice breeds nice. Remember that.

- Don’t be a hypocrite. Just don’t. Tumblr is a nasty place 65% of the time. Don’t be one of those people.  

- Don’t talk down to anyone. Don’t talk down to those of different opinions, don’t talk down to anons. Just don’t. You don’t know why they might be more ignorant than you, you don’t know why they might know less. You don’t know if it took them a lot of courage to contact you. So don’t. Help rather than bully, educate rather than ridicule. Do humanity a favour, eh?

- Don’t let anyone guilt you into not reblogging something (or reblogging something for that matter), keeping mum about something, or not liking something. You don’t agree with the general consensus? Well, that’s alright. Your blog is your space, as long as you stay within the limits of what’s, you know, decent human behaviour and ethics, you’re allowed to think whatever you want. Don’t compromise what you are or think in order to fit it. It’s okay not to fit in sometimes, you’ll probably find that there’s a lovely group of “outcasts” just like you, and it’s a lot more fun being there anyway. 

- Don’t make fun of other people for their English. DON’T DON’T DON’T DON’T. I swear to God, I’ll haunt you in your sleep if you do so, and I can be a very scary person. 

- Fandom sometimes feels like a very exclusive club you can’t get a membership to. Sometimes it feels like the friendships you make here are superficial at best. Sometimes you might look at your dash and see everybody be friends and feel a lot like you don’t fit it. Maybe that’s just me. Maybe it’s the time of your life and you look at your RL friends and think they have nothing on your online ones, Maybe you get the blues because you can’t meet up with your tumblr friends on the regular. Who knows. Just don’t feel obligated to have those really close friendships, don’t feel obligated to give away more of yourself than you feel comfortable with. Don’t want to give out your name or nationality? Don’t. And if you wanna talk to people, do it. Write them. If they don’t write back, they’re the assholes anyway, it has nothing to do with you. 

- If it starts affecting your real life, your own mood, take a break. Their lives are not your life and such they shouldn’t dictate your happiness.

All of these things are something we all know in theory, but 9/10 bloggers are terrible at actually practicing this. Just do it. Seriously. Your fandom experience is going to become a thousand times better. 


Especially for fic writers:

I’d say write for yourself not others, but I also know that’s bullshit. Every writer craves feedback, we’re vain like that. That’s okay. But don’t write if it isn’t fun, don’t write if you don’t like the process of it. Write because you can’t not

This fandom is really gross when it comes to fics and writers a lot of the time, but don’t feel encouraged not to write because some writers are held above everyone else. Everyone starts somewhere - everyone! Maybe it’s not until your third or your thirtieth fic that the fandom as a whole gets their eyes up for what a brilliant author you are, but that doesn’t mean your first fics aren’t appreciated. Everyone starts somewhere – everybody starts from nothing. If you’re not sure about your fic prior to posting, ask someone to read it through, get some feedback, find a beta. Just above all else have fun with it. No matter what, there’ll be people who don’t like what you write. Luckily there’ll definitely be people who like it too. 

So I got an email this morning. @aphobestoblock mentioned me in a post! Okay…

Huh. it’s the list itself. And every other name I recognize there is ace/aro supportive or run by aces and aros or both, and every post I’ve seen from them on the topic is pushing back against hatekeepers. That’s… suspicious.

And look! Unspecified charges of “taking advantage” of minors, and a promise that the receipts are coming Real Soon Now ™! Study this carefully, folks: Vague, unspecified, terrible charges are how smear campaigns operate, not legit callouts as a rule.

Look. I’m not going to pretend my blog is a safe space. I screw up sometimes, reblog content from people I shouldn’t, occasionally say something poorly or problematically. I’m doing my best to get better and be safer, but I don’t think I’ll ever entirely be there. I especially don’t think I can stop engaging with hatekeeping and other terrible things - that’s part of who I am. If you think I can do better, feel free to let me know. I keep anon open for a reason. If you don’t think you can handle me - hell, even if I’m just not to your tastes - you’re perfectly within your right to unfollow. Your dash is your place. But I challenge anyone to find a single statement from me that is in any way supportive of gatekeeping or dismissive of any ace or aro. Go ahead; my whole blog is there, and I don’t delete my original posts without notice.

Regarding the charge of “taking advantage” of minors: I know I have minor followers and mutuals. I’m not going to ask them to speak for me, but I will ask them to come to me, anonymously if they prefer, and tell me about any inappropriateness they have ever seen from me. If you send one, please tell me if you want it kept private; I will be publishing anything without a privacy request, as I believe in accountability. My normal policy regarding minors is to correct misinformation, but do not attack, do not vilify, do not engage beyond specific factual points. If I’ve broken this, I need to know so I can take that into account and be more careful in the future.

In the meantime, don’t hold your breath waiting for “receipts” from @aphobestoblock. They won’t be coming, because (to my knowledge) there is nothing to find. Should they produce faked-up “screenshots,” well, remember the Wayback Machine exists. Verify it for yourself. See what the facts say.

Finally and importantly: Do not send any hate to aphobestoblock. I don’t care how nasty they’re getting; hate campaigns and bullying are not how I do things, and not how I want them done on my behalf. This is extremely important to me. If you can’t follow that simple rule, please unfollow and stay the hell away.

How I’ve been doing now...

Well some of you have asked me how I’ve been now and well…I’ve been doing great and much better then before. I’m feeling much more confident in my appearance, my personality, my everything to be honest. 

I’m able to feel this way because of all the support you wonderful and beautiful people have been giving me. I know I’ve said this alot, but I really do mean it. Without all of you supporting me and being so positive and kind, I don’t think I would have been able to post anymore selfies up, be myself, share my blog, share who I am, or even answer (or try too lol) all the messages I’ve been getting. 

So from the very, very, very bottom of my heart..I want to say; Thank you and I love you all so much for being so supportive. Even if you end up unfollowing me later down the line, I will always be thankful to each and everyone one of you for what you’ve done for me.

To be honest I think you all saved me from my low self-esteem and depression. I honestly cannot, express my thank to all of you enough. 

anonymous asked:

what do you think of the recent trend in kaylor bloggers "stepping back" and saying that taylor and karlie deserve more privacy? (i love reading your theories and stuff so i don't mean this to be a leading question at all, i'm just wondering your opinion on things!)

My whole thinking on it is that I respect their decision in not wanting to speculate/dig. I get it, and I understand it. It’s there blog, I can’t tell them what to do. What gets on a few of our nerves is the shade posts and ranting. Lately I’ve been trying to make it a goal not to post things that might look like shade because I don’t like the way it feels. Granted most of the times I’m the one being targeted so it gets really hard to not say anything or defend myself, but for this post I have to use what’s been thrown at me/us to get the point across of why we aren’t happy so bear with me. 

So to answer the first part of your ask the whole thing about privacy is interesting because everything that is talked about has been flashed in our faces from them. We aren’t hacking or stalking. So what is the big issue here that makes us such horrible people? Literally all we are doing is connecting the dots from what they’ve shared/done publicly. Who cares if we look at the time stamp on a post, or when Taylor gets on and offline… Who is it hurting? Nobody. So if it’s our blog and we literally aren’t hurting anyone, why do they feel entitled to make us feel like shit for blogging about these certain topics? The girls are grown adults, they do not need our protection. I don’t get why just because they don’t want to talk about it anymore, that means the ones who still do shouldn’t either.

Also I’ve gotten better with not getting as mad with the stunt, but do I wish the last 3-6 months I could’ve been like them and not gotten so mad? Hell yeah, it’s not a nice feeling. But sadly there are people just like me that find comfort in finding the errors just because of how fucked up everything always is. 

And honestly I’ve been so frustrated with this the last couple months, because I’m constantly walking on eggs shells just waiting to be shaded. I feel like it’s never ending. And calling this a sick obsession yet apologizing to the tayvins even though they do the same thing? Or shading me for things that I’ve literally been saying for months? Especially when they agreed with me when I had said it. I just don’t find any of it fair. And so because they don’t talk about it anymore that makes them better people or better fans? And that we are trash because we do? It’s this holier than thou attitude where they think they can police us and make us feel bad for what we talk about on our blogs that gets to me. And it particularly sucks because I was friends with half of these people, and everything we all used to be on the same page about before, is now being used as ammo against me. I respected them when they said they weren’t going to talk about it anymore, and I would like the same respect back. Clearly I’m not going to get that though. 

Personally for me, other than when OOTW was announced and then released, I’d say I have been pretty chill (as much as I possibly can be at this point), as has most of the fandom lately. And that’s why these rant/shade posts are just so unnecessary because every time one of them are posted, the tension becomes higher and higher. So then when something minor happens, everyone flips a tit, and it just isn’t good.

I just wish they would unfollow me, and leave us alone.