if you didn't see this coming then clearly we're not friends long enough

Garrett and Marian Banters - Mark of the Assassin
  • Fenris: Manservant...
  • Isabela: Aw, Fenris got his feelings hurt
  • Tallis: It's just a cover
  • Fenris: I'd like to cover him with six feet
  • Marian: Seems a bit excessive. Where are you planning on getting all these extra feet? I'm not donating mine to the cause. Or are you hiding more on you, aside from the two attached to your legs?
  • Fenris: It seems that the last six years have not dulled your absurdity, Marian
  • ---
  • Marian: Remind me why we're /looking/ for the big scaly things that can kill us?
  • Garrett: You wanted to impress a cute elf
  • Tallis: You think I'm cute?
  • Fenris: *smugly* Unless you have suddenly taken to referring to yourself as 'he' and 'him', then I am afraid you are out of luck on that front
  • Garrett: They were /her/ words, not mine
  • Marian: What, she /is/ cute!
  • ---
  • Tallis: I told her not to touch it! What part of that didn't she understand?!
  • Garrett: You clearly don't know my sister. With her 'don't touch anything' means 'touch everything'
  • Tallis: But that makes no sense!
  • Garrett: You didn't grow up with her
  • ---
  • Tallis: So are you married?
  • Marian: Are you talking to me? Really?
  • Tallis: Well, it's just- You're the Champion of Kirkwall, or one of them anyway. Big. Important. I don't know... just wondering if there was a wife behind the throne?
  • Marian: *laughs uncontrollably* As if I'd be able to stand through the ceremony long enough!
  • Tallis: So the stories are true
  • Marian: Come on, I thought everyone and their grandma knew I have the attention span of a nug!
  • Tallis: I meant that you snort when you giggle
  • Isabela: Ooh, you got caught out Birdie!
  • Marian: Blast, my darkest secret revealed!
  • Garrett: That's nothing. When we were children, she used to- Hmph!
  • Marian: And that's enough out of you, little brother
  • ---
  • Tallis: So... you and Marian are together?
  • Isabela: Yep
  • Tallis: But you have no interest in marrying her?
  • Isabela: Why would I? I don't need a piece of paper to prove anything, and I hate being tied down
  • Tallis: And her flirting with me doesn't bother you? At all?
  • Isabela: So long as you ask nicely and promise not to steal her away, I'll share. There's a lot of Birdie to go around
  • Marian: Love ya Queenie
  • Isabela: *laughs* I love you too Birdie
  • ---
  • Marian and Garrett: What?
  • Tallis: You really are twins, aren't you?
  • Garrett: Is that why you were staring?
  • Marian: But we're identical in every way!
  • Isabela: Might want to look down Birdie, I think you've lost your beard
  • Marian: Blast, not again
  • Garrett: You can borrow mine if you like
  • Marian: What, and get Fenris cooties all over my face? No thanks
  • ---
  • Isabela: I heard something interesting the other night. About Castillion
  • Marian: You have pretty eyes
  • Isabela: Don't even try that on me Birdie. What did you and Fenris do?
  • Fenris: We did nothing. It was a complete accident
  • Marian: He ran into my knife
  • Isabela: Birdie, you didn't!
  • Fenris: *smugly* He ran into her knife ten times
  • ---
  • Marian: You've done something with your hair. It looks... different
  • Isabela: What? My hair always looks like this
  • Marian: No, it's usually sleeker... Straighter... Is that how it naturally looks?
  • Isabela: Ugh, Andraste's granny pants...
  • Marian: It looks gorgeous. You should leave it like that more often
  • Isabela: ...You think so?
  • Marian: Absolutely Queenie. I mean it
  • Isabela: Oh stop you, before I feel grateful enough to drag you into the bushes for some private time
  • ---
  • Tallis: So are /you/ married?
  • Garrett: Are you trying to see if I snort when I laugh too?
  • Tallis: *laughs* Damn he saw right through me. But... in all seriousness you /are/ one of the most important people in Kirkwall. Just curious
  • Garrett: Well, I'm not. Though I might have someone in mind
  • Tallis: So why are you not-?
  • Garrett: The situation in Kirkwall is precarious. There'll be time enough for that later, just... not now
  • ---
  • Tallis: So, you and Garrett?
  • Fenris: Must you poke your nose where it does not belong?
  • Tallis: I'm just curious
  • Fenris: Take your curiosity elsewhere. Our affairs are not yours
  • ---
  • Garrett: How do you stand it?
  • Marian: By putting it on its legs
  • Garrett: *groans* Not the table, I meant these parties. I just- ugh, how could you possibly enjoy it?
  • Marian: How could I enjoy fine clothes, free food and all the gossip in Thedas? How could you not?
  • Garrett: The free food is nice, I suppose
  • ---
  • Marian: Don't turn around
  • Garrett: Fifi De Launcet?
  • Marian: Dulci actually. She looks like she's itching to come here and complain about something. Maybe because you didn't shave?
  • Garrett: Ugh
  • ---
  • Marian: Ah wine, excellent. I need to be even more plastered than I thought before this is over
  • Garrett: Is there a reason you're taking /my/ wine glass?
  • Marian: Mine had an unfortunate encounter with Lady Thrennhold's dress. Took a mind of its own when she implied that someone needed to fix your 'unkempt appearance'
  • Garrett: What's unkempt about it?
  • Marian: Your hair mostly. Particularly the hair on your face
  • Garrett: We can't all compete with Duke Prosper over who has the most impressive facial hair
  • ---
  • Garrett: Avoid that Comte if you can; the old one sitting on that bench over there. He was saying some... rather unpleasant things earlier
  • Marian: Like what?
  • Garrett: Nothing too awful, but...
  • Marian: Gary...
  • Garrett: He was complaining about your... sense of humour
  • Marian: What's wrong with it?
  • Garrett: You really need to ask? Don't worry. I took care of it
  • Marian: What did you-?
  • Garrett: You'll see when he tries standing up
  • ---
  • Marian: I can't believe you
  • Garrett: Hm?
  • Marian: All these years, and I thought you had no sense of humour
  • Garrett: Ah, the Comte is having a little trouble with his breeches is he?
  • Marian: *laughs* The guards had to hold candles under the bench for a good ten minutes until the ice thawed. And the whole time he complained about the state of his privates. Seriously Gary, that was downright diabolical
  • Garrett: Anything for my big sister
  • ---
  • Marian: *sniggers* Knickers
  • Garrett: Making friends?
  • Marian: I already know most of the people here, but I only just wormed the knickers story out of Fifi de Launcet. Meanwhile, you seem to be acquainting yourself with the buffet
  • Garrett: It's one of the most interesting guests here that doesn't question our choices in lovers. But I did see someone interesting. Do you remember Sister Leliana?
  • Marian: From the Lothering Chantry, the one Carver fancied? Why are you...? /No/
  • Garrett: Just over there, in the pink dress. I almost didn't recognise her, but I'm sure it's the same Leliana
  • Marian: I didn't realise Chantry sisters attended high society parties
  • Garrett: What's more is that Tallis seemed to know her
  • Marian: I get the feeling that this is something we should keep our noses out of for once
  • Garrett: Agreed
  • ---
  • Marian: Leopold is going to be a wyvern with a very unhappy tummy
  • Garrett: Once you're done messing with the wyvern's lunch, can we move on before the cook realises you lied to her?
  • ---
  • Tallis: You know what you're doing. Who trained you?
  • Marian: My mother, believe it or not. Apparently you learn a few things about stealth when you sneak out to meet your apostate lover on a regular basis
  • Garrett: Wait, /mother/ taught you how to do this? Since when?
  • Marian: You had your training, I had mine
  • ---
  • Marian: *sigh* Why is it always the cute ones?
  • Isabela: Didn't you know? It's in the job description for being the backstabbing rogue
  • Marian: Well that explains a few things
  • ---
  • Garrett: More of these things?
  • Marian: You be careful brother dearest, else I'll think you're missing the Orlesians
  • Garrett: I think I'll take the nasty little gremlins thanks
  • Fenris: Is there a difference?
  • Isabela: *giggles* Ghast-hole
  • ---
  • Garrett: I get the feeling you wanting to help Tallis has less to do with protecting innocents and more to do with getting in her pants
  • Marian: *indignant gasp* How could you say such a thing? Do you really think I would be so selfish as to-?
  • Garrett: Yes
  • Isabela: Yes
  • Fenris: Yes
  • Marian: ...well okay maybe a little
  • Garrett: And you're okay with this Isabela?
  • Isabela: What? It's not like she didn't ask me first. Birdie might be a horny little shit, but she always makes sure I'm okay with it before she goes chasing after anyone
  • Marian: We do this thing called 'communicating.' You know, the thing you and Fenris recently learned how to do
  • Isabela: Only took you three years of blue balls to manage it
  • Garrett: Bela!
  • ---
  • Fenris: When you were speaking with Tallis about marriage... You said you had someone in mind
  • Garrett: I did
  • Fenris: And might I ask...?
  • Garrett: *sigh* Of course I meant you Fenris, why would I ever even entertain the idea of anyone else?
  • Fenris: ...Do you mean that? You would wish for us to marry?
  • Garrett: Yes, but only if that's what you want
  • Fenris: I ah... I merely thought that-
  • Garrett: Fenris, if I wasn't completely serious about us, about being with you, do you think I would have waited for three years?
  • Fenris: You make an excellent point. Perhaps we shall discuss it further later... Away from present company
  • Marian: Oh please don't stop on our account
  • Isabela: Keep going, I need to write this down. Varric will be green with envy that he missed /this/
  • Tallis: As romantic as this is, and as nice as the warm fuzzy feelings are, we do have to stop Salit. Like, right now
Pathetically

A/N: I posted this before but tumblr screwed up so I’m posting it again. 

Description: Phil isn’t sure what they are any more. Then he screws up. 

Word Count: 2K


Their situation is fucked up. Like… well and truly beyond what is normal.

Phil first met Dan four years ago. At the time Dan had a girlfriend. Phil can still remember the disappointment he’d felt at that. Dan was… everything he was attracted to. Smart, funny, sarcastic, quick witted… the fact that he was also very nice to look at didn’t help Phil’s immediate crush at all.

The first year he knew Dan was confusing. There were moments. Many moments between them. And Phil wasn’t sure if he was just projecting the feelings he couldn’t seem to will away on to innocent situations, or if there was actually tension between them.

They were glances amongst conversation when no one else was paying attention. Late nights texting each other well in to early hours of the morning. It was Dan always making sure he was sitting next to Phil and nudging him at every inside joke they had (because in that first year they shared so many jokes between them).

And it could have all been innocent.

But Phil wasn’t sure.

Then, exactly a year after they had met, Dan told him.

‘Emily and I broke up.’

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salute your vertical salt

Prompt: animals + music
Rating: PG-13
Collection: (x)
Summary:

‘Just date Tachibana already.’ Haru is sitting in the hot tub with his favourite magazine Water Time To Be Alive! over his face, dozing off.

Rin wants to shake him. 'I can’t! Part of my appeal with the fans– our appeal is that we are readily single. And I’m devoted to the band. No dating till we fill the Budokan three nights in a row.’ Haru snorts and sinks further into the water.

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