if you didn't expect this pls

HO HO hoe everyone! 🎅🏼🎄its christmas(!!) and the end of the year and it also happens to be exactly 6 months since I started this blog! and I figured I really need to say thank you to everyone for making my time on here amazing and welcoming me to this lil’ footie squad 😊 lets be real, there aren’t many west ham fans on here (ur loss tbh lol) sooo I never expected to feel at home but you guys have been lovely and I dont wanna get emosh but everyone in this community is really beaut inside and out and I really can’t wait to spend 2k17 with you all! ❤️❤️❤️ so this is my #follow4eva with some wacky edit which took me an embarrassingly long time to make lmao but you guys are worth it! 💕😘

# - G

@alexchambos, @alexoxchamberlain, @antvibe, @antobellerin, @arsenalsfc, @asensihohoho, @atletihoes, @aussenrist15, @babysharkdraxler, @baefinha, @balesbae, @basthiago, @bavarianboyz, @bayern-xo, @ben-woodburn, @billericaytobarcelona, @calumchambers, @draxlerr, @fc-chelski, @flashed-football-mind

G - J

@girouds, @gigibuffone, @greizou, @griezmam, @grizione, @gutilicious, @hammeredarmie, @hohoectorbellerin, @horangriezmann, @its-called-soccer, @jacksannie, @jeffreineadelade, @jordanshenderson,

K- P

@little-wise-acre, @loriskariius21, @loriskariius21, @lunarks, @marcoverreus, @mascheranojavi, @mesuthoeszil, @mrtslv, @mrhugolloris, @nathanielclynes, @nemozil@neymvrjr, @no-that-requires-effort, @once-a-gunner

Q - Z

@read-between-the-covers, @rizesahmed, @robhohoholding, @shawly-not-ref, @smolgrizi, @tattoos-are-my-weakness, @thegametheboysandthearsenal, @tiny-red-dancer, @vanilla-teaholic, @xhaakas

So THANK YOU again everyone! I love you all sooo much and I hope you’re all having a wonderful day and I wish you all to have a happy and magical 2017!! 🌟💝

@therapists: could u pls just aknowledge that mental illness actually exists and that I’m not being difficult just to annoy you and that it’s not a personal attack if my years long suffering isn’t cured after one session with you

like… I’m trying man and I know my behaviour isn’t always logical and that my patterns are unhealthy but I can’t just snap out of it because that’S NOT HOW BRAINS WORK


title: Time Lapse 
word count: 3261 
prompt: JB wandering the streets in the If I Do MV. 
notes: the MAD SERIES will be a one shot series for each of the members of got7 based on their role in their music video, If I Do.
***alcohol, swearing, and anger tw! 


The streets were empty and the sky was getting darker, and JB was starting to feel more and more alone.

He couldn’t really think straight or walk straight and he couldn’t even remember what happened the night before that made him sleep in until now..

Well, he knew that he was tired. And that it was almost 1:00AM because that was what his watch said. And he knew that was at Mark’s last night, because that’s where he woke up. The apartment was dark and empty, too, just like the streets. There was bottles everywhere with two half eaten pizzas, a sink full of dishes, and a hole in the wall. Was that there before? JB couldn’t remember as he woke up that evening, his head literally feeling like it was spinning. He wished Mark was there so he could explain to him what had happened — he guessed Mark probably didn’t drink as much as he did and so he probably remembered— but Mark wasn’t there. Instead, all he had left of last night was the clothes he was in, and this headache.

JB shoves his hands into the pockets of the red jacket he was wearing as the night air became colder, feeling more and more sad for some reason, and then wondering if that was what drove him to spend the night at Mark’s apartment drinking… His head spun too much, still feeling the alcohol in his system as he almost trips over something. He guessed today was a weekday since there wasn’t anyone walking around this late, but then again people didn’t usually walk around in this alley much anyway…

A weekday.

He stops, suddenly remembering something about a weekday…


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me: “wait can we do the sailor moon pose pls”





Ice Cream Fills Emotional Voids Better Than Actual Therapy (Not That You Need It, Or Anything)

pls… kill me have mercy on my soul this took so loNG. i had such a clear vision for what i wanted this to be, that i took so long writing it and missed suujimatsu day by an entire two days :/ still, i hope you like it (please reblog if you do!), and please do not tag as incest or b.l.m.atsu

“One, two, three, four… Oi, where’s Ichimatsu?” Everyone pauses as they put on their shoes, and look up at their oldest brother with blank expressions.  “Ah, he’s probably sulking in the living room.  Hang on a sec.”

Jyushimatsu listens intently to Osomatsu calling to Ichimatsu. “Oi, Ichimatsu, come on, we’re goin’ to Chibita’s!”  His older brother walks over to pop his head through the living room entryway.

Jyushimatsu could just make out most of Ichimatsu’s response.  “…don’t feel like going tonight.  Can you just leave me home?” Jyushimatsu thinks back to the… thing he found this morning and his heart breaks a little. Ichimatsu was not staying home alone.

           Jyushimatsu misses the first half of Osomatsu’s reply but catches the rest of it.  “…if you’re gonna let your cats in, remember to vacuum up the fur they leave behind!” Ah. He agreed.  His brother ambles back over to the front entrance and shoves his feet in his shoes.  “Alright, let’s go!”

           Keeping true to his word—or, thought, really—Jyushimatsu says, “Actually, niisan, I’m gonna stay in too!  I don’t really think I feel like drinking tonight, and I’ll have Ichimatsu to keep me company!”

           Osomatsu shrugs, and responds simply, “Well, alright, have fun then.”  He waves everyone else out, and soon Jyushimatsu is left by himself.

           The yellow-clad Matsu bounds upstairs, his plan in motion before he can even properly think of one.  Whipping open the linen closet in the hall, he pulls out as many blankets and pillows as he can fit in his arms and staggers through the (thankfully open) doorway of his and his brothers’ room.  He unceremoniously drops the bundle onto the ground, pillows tumbling from the top like some kind of soft, fluffy avalanche.  Ichimatsu-niisan is gonna be so comfy!

           He slides on the stair railing to get back downstairs, jerks himself around the corner, and slides into the kitchen, overshooting the fridge by a few feet.  He grabs the handle of the freezer and yanks open the door, reaching in and pulling out the new tub of vanilla-chocolate-strawberry ice cream he had bought earlier.  Hugging the ice cream to his chest, he reaches into the silverware drawer and grabs a spoon.  He quickly pads out of the kitchen and finally makes his way to the living room, where Ichimatsu was leaning against the wall, curled up and eyes closed.      

           He shuffles over and plops down on the floor in front of his brother and pokes him in the knee with the spoon.  “Ichimatsu-niisan, wake up!”

           Ichimatsu growls, causing Jyushimatsu to flinch, and swivels himself around so his back his facing his little brother.  He mutters in a low, borderline-threatening voice, “I want to be alone tonight, Jyushimatsu.  Go out with the others.”

           Well that.  Um.  That certainly wasn’t the reaction Jyushimatsu had been expecting.  

           Normally Ichimatsu-niisan at least turns him down nicely—what was with this hostile attitude?  His smile fell and he felt tears burning in his eyes as he sniffed.

           “You can’t guilt me into anything, you know,” Ichimatsu scoffs.  “Go out with the others,” he repeats, speaking up a little.  Guilt him?  He wasn’t trying to do that!  He was being mean and it made Jyushimatsu sad but now—now he was a little mad, actually. Ichimatsu-niisan is not staying home alone tonight!

           He sets the ice cream down, wipes his eyes and nose with his sleeves and crawls over to face Ichimatsu.  He smushes his brother’s cheeks with his sweater paws and sets his mouth in a firm line.  “Niisan, this is serious business.

           Ichimatsu’s eyes widen ever so slightly, clearly recognizing his intense expression as an indicator of genuine seriousness.  He raises an eyebrow, silently asking Jyushimatsu to continue.

           Not changing his facial setting, Jyushimatsu responds in a completely neutral voice, “I bought a whole tub of ice cream and I need someone to eat it with me so I don’t get a tummyache.”

           Ichimatsu stares at him for a minute—seriously, it’s been almost a full minute, and it’s getting hard for Jyushimatsu not to squirm—and then squints his eyes in annoyance and frowns.  “That’s your idea of serious business?” he asks, voice sounding comical due to his face being squished.

           Jyushimatsu calmly nods, his face still stone cold. “And there are too many blankets and pillows flooding our room to not make a fort and watch Zootopia, and those are definitely things I can’t do myself.”

           Lightly grabbing his brother’s wrists, Ichimatsu pries his hands off of his face.  He lines his own hands up with the openings of Jyushimatsu’s sleeves and slips them inside, sliding their fingers together like puzzle pieces.  He casts his gaze to the floor.  “…fine.”

           Jyushimatsu’s face immediately lights up, and he shouts, “Yes! Niisan movie cuddles for the win!” He jumps up, inadvertently yanking Ichimatsu up with him by their linked hands, causing his brother to stumble forward and let out an “Oof!”  Once both of them are steady, Jyushimatsu lets go of Ichimatsu’s hands to lean down and grab the ice cream tub and spoon.  He wiggles around behind his older brother and pushes him forward using the ice cream.  “Go, niisan, go!”

           “I’m going, I’m going,” Ichimatsu grumbles, but Jyushimatsu can hear the smile in his voice.

           Once they make it upstairs, Jyushimatsu sets the ice cream tub (that’s now dripping with condensation) on top of the TV, and Ichimatsu immediately moves it to the floor. “Shouldn’t get the TV wet,” is all he says.  The purple-clad Matsu then eyes the mountain of blankets on the floor and sighs.  “We’re gonna suffocate and die if we use all those blankets.”  Jyushimatsu flinches at hearing his brother talk about death, but thankfully he’s not looking at him.

           “No, we won’t, silly!” Jyushimatsu thanks his vocal chords for keeping his voice steady.  “A lot of them will be used for the actual fort, and it’s not like we have to use all of them!”  

           Ichimatsu grunts in reply, and falls down stomach-first onto the blanket mountain.

           Jyushimatsu lets out a noise of disbelief, and tries to pull his brother off of his fort-building materials.  “Nooooo, niisan, no, we need to make a fort! And you’re not even facing the TV!” T’was no use, Ichimatsu had become a deadweight as soon as he flopped down.

           “If you want a fort so bad just make it yourself, you don’t need me,” Ichimatsu’s muffled voice is barely audible through the layers of cotton underneath his face.  

           “Niiiiisaaaaannnn, it’s no fun if you don’t help!” Jyushimatsu sucks in a breath in preparation and shoves Ichimatsu off the pile, watching him gracelessly roll over the fabric and hearing him hit the ground with a thud.  Jyushimatsu goes and stands over him, hands on his hips, a stern look on his face.  “You said you’d do it, so get up and help or else you’re not allowed in and I’m gonna watch the movie all by myself and be sad that I’m lonely!”

           Ichimatsu rolls over so he can gaze up at Jyushimatsu, arms and legs stretched out to the sides.  The corner of his mouth quirks up ever so slightly in a lazy smile, and he drawls, “Alright, alright, I’ll help you make your damn fort.”  Jyushimatsu giggles and does a little happy dance, even though he totally knew Ichimatsu would give in at some point.  He tries to act tough but he’s really a big softie, especially when it comes to Jyushimatsu!

           Ichimatsu heaves himself into a sitting position, and sticks out his arms, clearly waiting for Jyushimatsu to pulls him up. The younger Matsu gladly complies, pulling Ichimatsu up with so much force his feet actually leave the ground for a second before he can properly stand up.  “Okay, let’s make the best fucking blanket fort this house has ever seen.” Jyushimatsu laughs, excited that Ichimatsu seems genuinely interested now; it’s such a turn from him sulking in the corner ten minutes ago!

           It takes way longer than it should to drag some light furniture over by the TV and drape some blankets over everything, and Jyushimatsu gets tangled up in every blanket at least twice and Ichimatsu gives up and lays down four times, but it gets done!  They flip a corner of one blanket over the top of a nightstand and shove as many pillows inside as possible.  Jyushimatsu grabs the movie and ice cream (Which is probably very, very soft at this point) and pushes Ichimatsu in first, climbing in after him.  He sets down the ice cream near the now-closed opening and popping the movie disc in the DVD player.

           Once Ichimatsu looks mostly situated on the pillows, Jyushimatsu grabs his brother’s left arm and raises it, placing himself underneath the limb and snuggling into his side.  Ichimatsu’s arm falls on top of his shoulder, and he pulls him just a smidgen closer.  Jyushimatsu peers up at his older brother, and notices a hint of red on his face. He smiles bigger, wrapping his arms around Ichimatsu and burying his face in his chest.  His big brother is really insecure about asking for and receiving any kind of affection, and if he blushes that means he’s not sure why someone is, in his own words, “choosing to touch trash like him, but I guess I appreciate it,” so that’s good!

           Ichimatsu’s right arm is in control of the remote, and hits the play button.  Jyushimatsu briefly untangles himself from the purple Matsuno and reaches to grab the ice cream and spoon.  He places the tub on Ichimatsu’s lap (since Jyushimatsu’s lap is kinda a little bit sideways) and takes off the top.  He stabs the spoon onto the pretty, flat surface of the newly opened ice cream tub, and scoops out a big bite.  

           “Oi, Jyushimatsu,” Ichimatsu drones, “I’ve been meaning to ask, are you hiding another spoon anywhe—guhh,” Jyushimatsu sniggers, figuring it’s probably hard to keep talking when someone just shoved a big spoonful of ice cream in your mouth.

           Ichimatsu’s face lights up like a tomato (that’s good!) and he swallows the frozen sweet, blurting out, “What the hell are you doing?”

           Jyushimatsu laughs fully, and explains excitedly, “Just enjoy the movie niisan!  You don’t have to decide when to eat ice cream since I’ll be deciding for you!” He scoops out another bite and places the spoon in his own mouth this time.

           Jyushimatsu doesn’t think he’s ever seen his big brother so flustered in his life, and he patiently shovels another bite of ice cream into his mouth as he waits for him to stammer out a full sentence.  “I—Wha—I’m perfectly capable—I’m not—I won’t share a fucking spoon with you, ok, you always get slobber all over it, and—and two, I don’t need to be spoon fed!  What am I, four?”

           “You certainly sound like it with all your whining,” Jyushimatsu says bluntly.


           “Just calm down and watch the movie, Ichi-niisan! It’s fine, I’m not sick and I’ll be neat this time,” Jyushimatsu reassures, patting his side.

           Ichimatsu grumbles something that sounds an awful lot like “No you won’t,” but Jyushimatsu lets it slide.  It doesn’t matter anyway, because about fifteen minutes into the movie, their roles have already switched and Ichimatsu is holding the spoon, probably because he was too embarrassed to accept the attention for too long.

           About another half hour into the movie is where it all goes wrong, though.

           Ichimatsu pauses the movie, and mumble, “Move, Jyushi, I gotta take a dump.”

           Jyushimatsu’s heart jumps into his throat as he vividly remembers his discovery from this morning.  He squeezes Ichimatsu’s middle harder, and responds “No!” too quickly, too eager.  “We’re not even halfway through the movie and it’s cozy under here!”

           “Jyushimatsu, unless you literally want me to shit right here, right now, let me up.” Ichimatsu grabs Jyushimatsu’s arms, trying to pry him loose.

           “No, no, no, no, no!  Let’s just finish the movie, please, no bathroom breaks!” He couldn’t let Ichi-niisan go, he couldn’t, he couldn’t, he couldn’t!

           Jyushimatsu feels Ichimatsu release his arm, and then he… smears something on his face?  The yellow Matsu blinks, glancing up at his brother to be met with a confused, yet concerned gaze.  “What’s the matter with you today?” Ichimatsu leaves his hand cupped on Jyushimatsu’s cheek, thumb continuing to stroke back and forth, still smearing something on his—oh. No. He’s wiping away tears that Jyushimatsu didn’t realize had fallen.  “You don’t go out with the others, you insist on this fort-and-movie night, and now you won’t let me go to the bathroom? Ichimatsu’s voice is as flat as ever, but it holds some inflection due to his worry.  “Are you worried I’m gonna flush myself or something?”

           Jyushimatsu sniffs really big and loud, and sobs out, “Metaphorically, yes!”  Ichimatsu’s thumb halts, and he reaches down to grab his little brother and hoist him up (with Jyushimatsu giving as much resistance as a rag doll) so they were eye level with each other.

           “What?”  Jyushimatsu rubs at his eyes with his sleeves, desperately trying to get the tears to stop.  

           “I—I saw, this morning, I—You were getting better for a while, niisan and then you started getting worse, and I’ve never seen you this—this sad all the time and, and—” Jyushimatsu halts his blubbering to sniff and glance at Ichimatsu who, of course, had a completely blank expression and was impossible to read.  He’d made it this far, though, so he went on to say, “I saw the new bottle of sleeping pills in the medicine cabinet!” His tears start to come down faster and he covered the bottom half of his face with his hands.

           Ichimatsu blanches, eyes widening and gaze moving to his lap.  He squeezed his eyes shut really tightly, and bites his bottom lip hard enough that Jyushimatsu worries he’ll break the skin.  Jyushimatsu notices through his blurry vision that Ichi-niisan isn’t breathing, but it looks like he has a lot of pressure built up in his chest, the kind you’d have before you scream, but he’s not letting any air out. Recognizing this as his “shouting mean things in his head so he doesn’t say them out loud” face, Jyushimatsu brings his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around his legs and burying his face into the space between his neck and knees, face heated from crying and shame.

           After what felt like hours, Jyushimatsu felt a hand rest on his shoulder.  He was proud for not flinching, because that probably would’ve pushed Ichimatsu-niisan away even further.  “Jyushimatsu.” Jyushimatsu didn’t move.  “Jyushimatsu, look at me.”  Jyushimatsu lets his knees fall to the side, twisting around to face his brother, but he didn’t look him in the eyes.  Ichimatsu lays his other hand on his other shoulder, and leans down to be able to almost look his brother in the eyes. “I…I have been getting worse.  But that’s because I’ve been having nightmares, okay? I bought the sleeping pills to make them go away.  That’s all.”

           Jyushimatsu wipes at his eyes, then nose, and finally raises his eyes to meet Ichimatsu’s.  “…that’s all?” he asks in a quiet voice.

           Ichimatsu’s fingers dig a little deeper into his shoulders, and he responds with a real, genuine smile, “That’s all.”  

           Jyushimatsu lets out another sob, and throws himself at his brother, wrapping his arms around his neck, his legs curled up in between Ichimatsu’s.  The purple-clad Matsu hugs him back with just as much fervor, rubbing his hand up and down Jyushimatsu’s back.

           It takes a while, but Jyushimatsu calms down enough that he feels like he can resituate himself by Ichimatsu’s side and let them resume the movie.  They eat what they can salvage from the half-melted ice cream tub, sharing one spoon without an argument.  They ignore their other brothers when they hear them come home, only slightly tensing when they hear one of them say “…kickass fort…,” but relaxing when no one bothers them. And sure, they both fall asleep before the movie’s over, and wake up with stiff muscles and a tub of ice cream filled a fourth of the way up with liquid almost spilling on them, but the emotionally intimate session the night before had been worth it.  Even if Todomatsu did somehow wake up before them and manage to post a picture of them to his Instagram with the caption, “cute brothers!!! <3<3 i bet they cried over something. no one eats that much ice cream without crying.”

           …still worth it.  Probably.

easy | l.h

a/n: this is pure secret relationship au! I lost myself at some point in this so it definitely turned out unlike I’d expected but I really hope y’all dig it anyway! also feedback is cool and encouraged if you’re so inclined! / wc: 3k / masterlist 

“They’ll be back any minute now,” You breathed heavy against Luke’s ear, his teeth and tongue pulling expertly at the skin against your collarbone. The empty dressing room was near silent, save Luke’s quiet groans when your fingers tugged against his curls or the gentle whimpers falling from your own lips.

“I don’t care,” He paused his actions to mumble against your now sensitive skin. “They can walk right in if they want.”

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I recently just hit 3k followers (omg how??) and actually a few days ago was also the 1st anniversary for this blog, so i decided to make my first follow forever! I would like to say thank you so much to everyone who follows this crappy blog, i seriously never expected this blog to make it this far. Thank you so much for supporting this blog and talking to me! You guys have no idea how much your simple messages could mean a lot to me! ♡

And lastly, for all awesome people i follow, thank you for making my dash amazing and being so nice to me. I really love your blog and you!

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