Your breath reeks of crown royal and someone else’s laughter
You still need God too
Forgive me for the times I have made God out of you
I was never supposed to worship hands that I could touch
But couldn’t feel
It looked real
It looked right
I stopped praying
Because I forgot the sound of my own voice
I was unsure that God would recognize it
Or that he’d want to hear what I had to say
I am just a woman
A failed lover
A mess, to say the least
A body, to say the most
At least that’s the picture you painted over the mirror
And told me was my reflection
I hope they see me now
I know God hears me better
I don’t wonder if you do
I don’t want to hear you.
Your breath reeks of I miss you’s and things that are like glitter
Both of which wear off.
Wherever and however this finds you,
I hope that it is warm.
As for me?
Well you see.. …
Impromptu caption poetry by me. 03/16/17 5:18 pm
Photo by @karen__santos
A/N. I love this beautiful bean. This one shot doesn’t mean that requests are open, or that I’m going to be churning things out regularly again (I know I suck I’m so sorry guys I’m just so swamped with school its a mess), but I have been inspired and have a few other things in the works that I’ll keep you posted on. Anyway, you guys know the drill, I don’t own anything except the plot, blah blah blah, including the above gif, as much as I wish I could own this beautiful man and some of his biker brothers.
Alright guys, enjoy!
Juice rolled down the street, enjoying the purr of his bike beneath him, the wind in his face. He heard Bobby and Tig behind him, but as he sped up they fell behind. They knew the drill anyway. The Chicken Man was nervous about strangers and wouldn’t talk to anyone but Juice. Hearing other bikes would spook him.
Juice rolled up beside the blue van, which was parked rather conspicuously in the middle of a backroad, got off his bike and walked up to the window.
“Juan Carlos.” the Chicken Man nodded, head twitching to look around the lot. “May I assume the stimulants are in your backpack bag?”
“Yes Chicken.” Juice couldn’t hold back his smile. This was his favourite part, the shady deals. There was just something exhilarating about it, and he had to admit he enjoyed when he was able to do something like this the rest of the club couldn’t. “May I assume you have the cash?”
The man looked around nervously, giving another jerky nod. “Yes. Would you mind getting in? Talking this way makes me feel very conspicuous.”
Juice couldn’t hold back a laugh. “Sure thing man.” He opened the door and climbed into the passenger seat. “You’re a lunatic, you know tha–”
He saw something move behind him, a flash of white. “Shit!”
He elbowed the Mayan (not a Mayan, he realized distantly, but a guy from that gang they were patching over), in the face, but hands, too many hands, grabbed him roughly and dragged him back between the seats.
There was shouting behind him, but he was too busy bucking and twisting to hear them properly. His arms were wrenched above his head roughly, pinned in a way he couldn’t shake off, and a gloved hand clamped down over his mouth. He shouted anyway, kicking and bucking and twisting and strongly regretting leaving Bobby and Tig behind.
The man with the hand over his mouth leaned down, and Juice recognized the president of the other MC. “You tell Clay, my bullshit MC’s got some reach eh?”
A fist slammed into his face and his head snapped back, slamming into the floor of the van. Distantly, over the sounds of fists hitting his face, his own grunts of pain, and the blood rushing in his ears, he could hear the Chicken Man.
“I’m sorry Juan Carlos, but I’ve run up a bit of a tab with these Mexican fellows.”
Juice was very tempted to tell the dick what he thought of his apology, and where he could shove it, but he was a little busy. He lost track of how many times he got hit in the face, and then when he was too dazed to fight back anymore they moved down to his ribs. He noticed distantly that one of the guys behind him was tugging at his arms, and when he bucked against them the jackass behind him dislocated his shoulder. He screamed, or at least he let out a strangled groan, and something absolutely disgusting was shoved into his mouth. He was pretty sure it was a sock. If it hadn’t been in his mouth he probably would have thrown up. As it was he was pretty sure he was going to need to wash his mouth out with soap.
He got hit in the face again, and all thoughts of being sick were knocked from his head.
The hardest decision is do I want to start reading The Summer now, or wait until it's done on May 5th/6th? 🤔 it sounds so good but reading unfinished fics make me ,,,, idek. I know you guys will complete it, but these cliff hangers I hear about sound killer and I'm not sure if I could bear 7 days to know what's next 😢 WHAT DO I DO
I mean, I would start it whenever youre comfortable haha keep in mind that its over 400,000 words though so it’s going to take a while for you to read. we update every wednesday as well so there’s no need for you to be afraid that we won’t finish, because we already have the entire thing finished ^-^
I’ve been wanting to do this for a really long time so sorry if this doodledump looks messy ^^;
Anyway, little things about Yellow!
Yellow is basically the negative that balances Jack’s positive.
Unlike most Anti’s, Yellow is more of a conscience type of being. He represents certain qualities like “Materialism” and “Order”, and frequently voices his opinions (which Jack would hear as that little voice in his head) instead of bottling them all in.
Yellow is a neat freak and PROUD OF IT. Just as long as, you know, you don’t phrase it as OCD because it ISN’T really though it probably is
His ashes infuriate him to some point as well, but it doesn’t last long since they disappear a few seconds after.
Yellow leaves said ashes only when he floats, which he always does.
Yellow loves Jack.
He can’t take off the smiley pin, but it could fall off on its own. When it does, he panics.
When things start to levitate around him, run away. If he’s smiling with his eyes as well, run faster.
Sam can see him but Jack can’t.
Yellow can’t fly. Only float, but nowhere too far away from Jack.
So I work at a gym and today this older white man (a gym member) came to the front desk, and he was having a conversation with my manager, who is black. I could hear their convo and this is what I overheard:
Man: yeah thanks for the help, man.
My manager: no problem sir, happy to help.
Man: you know black men are great when they aren’t trying to mug you hahaha
My manager: have you ever been mugged by a black man?
My manager: do you know any black men who have mugged somebody?
Man: well no-
My manager: so all of the black men you know are great, then yeah? And that’s also a weird phrase to use because that would imply that anyone who doesn’t mug you is a great person, which I assure you is not the case. In fact, I ran into a racist guy today, he didn’t mug me, but he definitely wasn’t great.
The best thing about this is neither the Elvis impersonation or that it’s the newest recording of David Bowie speaking, it’s the insanely funny fact that you can hear the soft “plop, plop, plopplop” of the Mac towards the end which regulates the volume of the background song (and the click at the beginning which starts it).
This man does records for a living. He could’ve just… edited it in. And, you know, make a fade out. Probably would’ve been a lot easier to time, too. But no.
Bless David Bowie, honestly, and bless you. Have a happy, happy holiday time.
SO YALL KNOW HOW TANAKA IS ALWAYS READY TO FIGHT AND HOW HINATA IS ALWAYS BEHIND HIM LIKE HYPING HIM UP AND STUFF AND NORMALLY ITS CHILL BECAUSE NORMALLY THESE THREATS ARE EMPTY BUT THERE ARE INSTANCES WHERE SOMEONE WOULD CROSS THE LINE AND TRY IT FRFR AND YOU CAN PRACTICALLY HEAR TANAKA SNAP AND HINATA’S BEHIND HIM LIKE “YOU WANNA FIGHT-” BUT TANAKA PICKS HIM UP AND LOCKS HIM IN A STORAGE ROOM BECAUSE A) THIS ISN’T A GAME THIS IS THE REAL DEAL AND B) YOU COULD GET HURT HINATA AND RYUU IS ABOUT TO WILD OUT FOR A SECOND AND HINATA IS IN THE STORAGE ROOM BANGING ON THE DOOR FOR TANAKA TO LET HIM OUT CAUSE HE CAN HANDLE IT HIS LITTLE FISTS ARE READY BUT ALL HE CAN HERE IS F I G H T I N G. AND ABOUT 30 SECONDS LATER IT GOES QUIET AND THE DOOR OPENS AND ALL HINATA SEES IS THE ATTACKER ON THE FLOOR AS WELL AS LIKE 3 OTHER RANDOM DUDES AND HE IS JUST ✨o✨!!!¡!!¡
A dog can smell a lie, you know, the Hound had told her once. She could almost hear the rough rasp of his voice. Look around you, and take a good whiff. They’re all liars here, and every one better than you.She wondered what had become of Sandor Clegane. Did he know that they’d killed Joffrey? Would he care? — A Storm of Swords, Sansa VI
Would live for this. He would get off to hearing your moans
“Come on baby, moan for me some more,”
Boy would also love the FUCK outta your moans, he’s the type to quiet himself down just so he can hear every sound that escapes your lips
He’d tease the hell outta you. That’s all I gotta say,
“You sound so dirty kitten…”
He’d enjoy them quite a lot. He’d do everything he could to make you moan, simply because of how much the sound turns him on
“More babe…I know you can moan louder,”
He’d be super turnt. Boy would do what he could to have you screaming, and won’t stop UNTIL your screaming and begging for release
“Come on baby girl, scream for me…”
I can see him being loud in bed, but I also see him having a bit of a moan kink as well. So the louder you moan the louder he moans, and vice versa.
“Fuck baby, you feel so good…”
I feel like he’s pretty silent, so he’d bask in the sound of your moans and encourage you to moan louder
“Come on, I know you can be louder. Scream for me babe,”
Baby would initially blush upon hearing you moan for the first time. Not expecting such a lewd noise to come from your mouth, but after time goes on your moans would be his favourite sound
“Moan baby, come on. Let me hear your beautiful sounds,”
He’d be so turned on. Like…I have no words to explain it. 10/10 would listen to them if he could only listen to one noise for the rest of his life. But like…real talk, he’d indulge in most of your kinks/fantasies just so he could hear you moan
“You sound so sexy…let me hear more,”
Like Chanyeol, I can see him being shocked upon hearing your moans for the first time. But after some time, he’d love to make you draw out your moans because of how erotic it sounded
“That’s it baby…I need to hear more…Louder baby girl…”
Kai seems like the kinda guy to enjoy someone who is loud in bed. So he’d tease you for hours on end just to hear you moan loudly for him, calling his name and begging him to do something
“Uh oh…That wasn’t my name baby…You must really enjoy being punished don’t you?”
(I apologize for the low quality gif, but like…Yes please? Sign me the fuck uP SEHUN! WHOO!)
Anyways, Sehun seems like a dirty talker. That being said, he’d love to have you moan into his ear as he whispers all the lewd things he wanted to do to you.
“I wanna fuck you so bad baby…I want you cuffed…completely submissive to me,”
“Please forgive me.” “I didn’t want this to happen.” “I was wrong!” “I don’t deserve you.” “Please – just hear me out.” “You don’t have to forgive me.” “You know I didn’t mean that!” “I’m sorry.” “That wasn’t my intention.” “You don’t deserve this.” “Let me make it up to you.” “Please believe me.” “I want to make this work!” “Can’t we just talk it over?” “How can I fix this?” “I know I screwed up.” "I did this for you/us/them!” “If I could take it back, I would!” “I didn’t mean for you to get hurt.” "Tell me what I have to do to.” “I just wanted to apologize.”
i used to do this thing whenever things got really bad back home. i would turn the sink on and close my eyes, and i would pretend that i was underwater, like i was floating in a pool or something at the bottom. it was all quiet, just floating there, and i couldn’t hear anything. no one could get to me. no one could touch me. i was safe.
a morning CS drabble, spec for 6x13 (or whenever Killian tells Emma)
“Our family is… complicated,” Emma sighed, wrapping her arms around Killian’s waist and drawing him near.
“That’s one word for it.” She could hear the self-loathing in his tone. He wanted her to get angry, she thought. He wanted her to lash out, punish him, maybe kick him out of his own home. But why would she do a thing like that when she knew he was suffering over this?
“It sucks. I know it does. I won’t pretend that Dad won’t be pissed about it for a while. But he’ll forgive you.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because I know my family. And we are there for each other. Forgiveness is kinda our thing. Or have you forgotten about how we’ve all accepted Regina into this family after everything she did?” He still looked conflicted, logic warring with his guilt and heartache. “How many times do I need to tell you that you aren’t the same man you were? You’re good, Killian. And you’re an important part of this family.”
“You would love the man who murdered your grandfather?”
She shook her head, leaning forward to rest her head on his chest, half because she needed the physical connection, half to offer him privacy as his eyes glazed over.
once you got to the thot7 dorm, you inhaled a deep breath. you couldn’t have a repeat of last time, you couldn’t let them suck you in again. last time, it was only bams that was the problem. now, you’ve got double the trouble.
you knocked on the door, rung the doorbell and even yelled out their nicknames that you personally gave them. that way, the random people walking pass wouldn’t know that it was the members of got7 that you were calling out on the other side of the door.
the music was so loud that you could hear it even if you went across the street. you noticed that one of the windows upstairs was open and that that’s where the music was coming from. although there was a curtain before it, you could see both yugyeom’s and bam’s shadow.
from what you saw, they were jumping around and looking like pure fools. everytime it got to the hook, they would scream it. everybody on the block could probably hear it.
“y/n come in!” you heard jackson’s voice, calling out to you.
you literally ran pass him and up the stairs to bam’s room. you banged on the door several times, getting more upset than you already were everytime you didn’t get a response.
“if that song fucking repeats again im knocking the motherfucking door down.” you mumbled.
“what was that sweetheart?” mark whispered in your ear as he crept up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist.
“get the hell off of me and help me.” you wiggled out of his grip.
“get the fuck off mark she’s mine.” jackson said while he walked up the stairs.
“what are you talking about? you didn’t see shit.” mark scoffed at him.
you held in your urge to laugh and focused on the real reason for your being here. but since you didn’t have the energy to keep knocking on the door, you came up with something.
“let’s make a deal!?” you yelled over the music.
“what?” they both asked in unison.
“whoever can get the door open first, will get to kiss me.” you crossed your arms and watched as they literally pounded and kicked on the door with all of their might.
“yo open the fucking door!” jackson yelled aggressively.
“the cops are here open the damn door!” mark added on.
as expected from mark, the door swung open in seconds. there stood a very sweaty yugyeom and bam bam. they had a look of fear plastered all over their faces.
“yes!” mark jumped up in excitement. he hopped in front of you and grabbed your face. he pulled yours to his and kissed you.
“mark what. the. fuck?” yugyeom was shocked, forgetting all about the cops “being here”.
“i may be in love with her but we’re just friends. friends ki-.”
“y/n!” you turned around once you heard youngjae’s bright voice.
he and the other boys came running down from across the hall with the brightest smiles on their faces.
“thank god the music stopped, i was deadass about to set this bitch off.” jaebum rolled his eyes, earning weird looks from the other boys.
“you hang around y/n too much…” jinyoung paused and shook his head at him. “anyways thank you princess. you always know what to do.”
“ehhh…it was kind of these two that did it this time.” you pointed at jackson and mark.
“so i should get a kiss too!” jackson quickly kissed you and ran down the stairs, leaving you and everybody surprised as hell.
“anyways, i feel like the cops never came and y'all are just jealous.” bam bam said distracting everyone from what had just happened.
“agreed my boy.” yugyeom dapped him up and eyed the rest of you.
“do not and i mean do not play that damn song out loud unless it’s only you two here. there’s these things called earbuds and headphones, y'all should try them.“
“to be fucking honest.” youngjae mumbled.
“shoot out the roof…” bam mumbled but loud enough for you to hear.
“that’s it!” you jumped at him, but you were caught in mid-air by at least two of the boys.
hm…the rest was history. who knows if you beat bams ass…or if jackson ran away…or if yugyeom was jealous of mark…or if jinyoung really shot out the roof. find out on the next episode of got8hoes.
Anon- Could you do a Stiles imagine where he keeps trying to tell the reader that he loves her but he keeps getting interrupted by school bells, friends or any distraction you can think of and he eventually he gets so frustrated that he just yells it in front of all your shared friends aka the pack? I feel like this would be really cute and pretty damn funny😂
Authors Note- I was in the middle of a shit ton of homework when I saw this, but I loved it too much to wait, so I hope you enjoy x
Scott and Stiles stood waiting at their lockers, as they did every morning for you all. “Everytime I see her, my heart does the thing” he exclaimed. “I know” Scott nod his head. “It’s like I can feel my pulse quicken” he continued. “I hear” Scott claimed. “I think I love her-” Stiles cooed, but before Scott could reply you turned the corner. “You love who Stilinski?” you asked with a smile. “Oh erm ermm- the lunch lady” he lied terribly. “You think you love the lunch lady?” you asked with raised eyebrows. “Oh erm yeah” he said, his voice breaking half way through. Scott kept pretending to turn around, to stop himself from laughing. “Y/n thank god! Kira’s having a little girl trouble in the bathroom, I need your help ASAP!” she said in relief. “So I’ll see you later I guess” you said awkwardly, before following Lydia down the hall. “Yeah, we have first period together, remember?” he called after you. Scott finally burst out laughing, after watching his best friend’s pathetic excuse of flirting. “You knew she was coming, you complete dick” he said, punching Scott playfully in the arm. “Come on lover boy” Scott laughed, putting his arm around his neck and pulling him down the hallway along with him.
You walked into your English class and sat at your usual desk and Stiles soon followed, taking his next to you. You reached into your bag and began to sift through all of your notebooks to find a pen. “Y/n, Y/n!” he whispered, while the teacher was still setting up the lesson. You sat up and turned to face him. “About what I said earlier-” he began. An automatic smirk crept across your lips, at the thought of Stiles fancying the 60 year old, married lunch lady. “So you don’t love the lunch lady?” you asked, as you tilted your head. “No, in fact I was talking about someone else” he began to explain, his voice getting quieter. “Can everyone turn to chapter five please” your teacher finally spoke. You did as instructed, but you still felt Stiles’ eyes on you. “We’ll talk about it later, it’s okay if you fancy older women” you brushed it off. You promised to improve your grades and attendance this year and that also included reducing your detentions and improving your behaviour in class. “I don’t fancy the lunch lady” he accidently raised his voice, causing the class to laugh. “Thank you for that Stiles, but not relevant” your teacher commented. You bit back a laugh as he slowly sank into his seat, looking like a puppy that had just been told off.
After first period Stiles planned on telling you his true feelings, just to get it over and done with, he didn’t have the time for romance. He waited for you to gather your things as he stood and waited for you. You noticed how his foot tapped at an alarming rate. “What’s the hurry?” you asked with a smile. “Come on” he said. grabbing your arm gently and pulling you out of the classroom. You gave him a weird look as he finally let go of you as you reached the bottom of the stairwell. “You’re being really odd today, are you feeling alright?” you asked, half amused half concerned. “I’m fine, there’s just something I need to tell you” he exclaimed, speaking at 40mph. “Shoot” you said casually, not thinking anything of it. He took a deep breath but before he could say a word the school bell rang loudly. Students began to pour into the hallway. Someone bumped into you, drawing your attention away from Stiles and then more people began to bump into the pair of you as you were blocking the way to the stairs. Before you knew it, you had drifted away from one another in the masses of eager freshman and large groups of students from other grades. “Tell me later!” you shouted into the air, no longer knowing where he was. “It’s kind of important” he shouted back, but you couldn’t hear him, you had already travelled half way down the hall somehow. Stiles felt someone grip onto his shirt and pull him out of the crowd. “Don’t say anything” Stiles huffed. “That was pathetic” Scott told, having watched the whole situation. “Maybe you should wait to tell her, maybe not at school?” Scott suggested. “It’s now or never, otherwise I’ll overthink and might never tell her” Stiles explained. “She likes you Stiles. Her feelings aren’t going to change overnight, why don’t you wait and make it special?” Scott asked rationally. “You’re right, I guess I can wait a day” he agreed. Scott smiled and patted his best friend on the shoulder as they walked to lesson together.
“I cant wait any longer” Stiles whispered. It was break and you all decided to go to the library because it was cold and the only place with any good heating, considering not all of you had wolf heat. “It’s literally been an hour since we agreed on you doing it tomorrow” Scott said, putting his head in his hands. “I know, but look at her” he said in admiration, staring over at the table you were on. Lydia was helping you with your homework and you’d never looked more beautiful, you sat with a furrowed brow staring down at your paper with your hair tucked behind your ear. You glanced up and felt your heart flutter as you caught eye contact with Stiles, his brown eyes looked wet and he had such an adoring look on his face that made you melt. With all you were feeling all you managed was a simple wave, which he returned. God you fucking idiot. Tell him how you feel. “I’m doing it now” He stood up from his chair and began to walk over to you slowly, shaking his sweaty hands and not looking away from you as you scribbled onto your paper. He was about half way across the library when suddenly he felt something hard hit him as he fell to the ground. Books and sheets of paper flew everywhere and there was an eruption of quiet giggles and hushes. Stiles pealed the paper that was covering his eyes to see Liam lying on top of him with an awkward expression on his face. “Get. Off. Of. Me” Stiles said so calmly. Liam lifted himself up and offered his hand out to help Stiles up, “I’m sorry I wasn’t looking where I was going and I didn’t see you walking towards me and-” he barely finished his rambling before Stiles became distracted and rushed off. “ Where’s Y/N?” he asked, half out of breath. “Oh she had to rush off, she told me to ask if you were okay though” Lydia said, packing her own books away. “Great” he said with an eye roll. “Honestly you’re making this little crush of yours so obvious, why are you so desperate to talk to her?” she asked with a smirk. “I’m telling her that I - Wait, you know I like her?” he asked, completely shocked. “Yes Stiles, I’m surprised she hasn’t figured it out herself” she shook her head with a smile. “Whatever it is you need to talk to her about you have two hours because she’s going home early after lunch” she added, before walking away to her next optional AP class. “Two hours, you can do this” he breathed.
He wasn’t in your next lesson and time couldn’t have gone slower. Malia watched, shaking her head as he sat there looking at the clock with a stupid expression on his face. The sound of him clicking his pen to the noise of the clock ticking echoed in her head for the whole period. As soon as the bell for lunch went up he practically ran to the school cafeteria. He was the first on your usual table, Malia followed swiftly behind, confused as to why he didn’t walk down with her. Kira and Scott then followed and took their seats. Liam and Mason sat on the edge of the table, he was still embarrassed by the whole falling on him thing. Finally you walked over with Lydia. You took your seat in the other end of the table, opposite Stiles. You ate your lunch while you all talked as usual, beside Stiles who stared down at the table. Hayden had also joined you all at this point. “Are you okay?” you asked, breaking away from the conversation. “I need to tell you something” he tried to say quietly. “Oh yeah, sure” you smiled. “I lo-” he began for what seemed like the 100th time that day. “Y/L/N, did you forget about your detention today for skipping class you little delinquent?” Coach asked, blowing his whistle. You took a sip of your coffee and turned to look at him, “I have no idea what you’re talking about” you said innocently. “Now!” he called, but before you could reply someone interrupted. “Coach…Shut up” Stiles said sarcastically. “I have been trying to say this all day and I have been interrupted for the last time!” he said standing up. “I love you Y/n, there I said it. I am completely and utterly in love with you” he said a little too loudly, only focusing on you. Half of the students in the cafeteria where staring at you, including all of your friends; who were sitting there with huge grins, smiles and smirks on their faces. You almost spat your coffee all over him. You had a shocked expression on your face for a second, before a bright smile formed. For some strange reason you weren’t embarrassed, only wrapped up in the though of the boy you had liked forever liking you back. “I love you too” you blushed, never thinking this would be the first time you’d say that to him. “Right that’s enough, come on” Coach said with a disgusted look on his face. You were practically pulled out of the room but your eyes remained fixated on Stiles’.
Later on someone knocked on your front door and you knew exactly who it was. “Did you really mean it?” he asked without hesitation, walking in. “Of course I did” you smiled shyly. “So what now?” he asked with a grin on his face. “People who love each other, should be together” you implied. “I guess you’re right” he agreed. After the hectic day he’d had, you thought you may as well give him a hectic end. You wrapped your arms around his neck and felt his around your waist as he leant down and pressed his lips to yours in a long awaited kiss. The passion was something you’d never change about the two of you and it was something you’d never lose. You loved him and he adored you. As much as he had hated that day, he wouldn’t change it for the world.
Sorry its kind of rushed but I waned to get something out before I do my school work. I love you guys but requests are closed so I wont be doing any that are sent to me for a while x
A/N: Okay everyone, here is part 13. I told you’d I’d be updating more now! This one is a doozy, so hold onto your hats. Lots of explanations (although not FULL explanations) going on here. Please let me know what you think. I love hearing from you! ♥
Word Count: 1,641
Warnings: - language.
Tags: (at the end)
*gif is not mine.
There was silence in your apartment, as you processed Steve’s words, the slam of the door still echoing in your brain. Even if everything he said was true, why the hell would he spew it out with so much hate, knowing that it would hurt you? You don’t hurt the one’s you truly love; at least, not intentionally.
“You are very important. If you weren’t, then you would not be here. You matter. If you tap into your potential, you are among the best of all creation. You are the one that if you mention Allah, He mentions you among His highest angels - Gabriel, and Michael - He is mentioning you to them. The scholars say if you could hear the scratch of the pen as it writes your name, you would die from ecstasy.
Then, who are you? You are very special.
When you realize how important you are, you will then realize why you will be judged. You have a purpose. You have importance. You will be judged based on how you used the gifts Allah has given you.
Most people live their whole life without knowing themselves. To know yourself, is to know God.
Summary: Bucky and Y/N have been fairly successful at keeping their relationship hidden from the rest of the Avengers. That is… until Nat walks into the kitchen one night and finds Bucky kissing Y/N. While Y/N is relieved that their relationship is out in the open it soon becomes more complicated than she could have ever imagined.
Author’s Notes: Thanks to the lovely @melconnor2007 for the request. The last scene killed me. I always love hearing from you guys <3.
Sorry it’s out late – my nap turned into a mini hibernation.
Tags are at the bottom. Please let me know if you would like to be tagged/removed.
I felt like a hypocrite. As much as I had dreaded someone
from the Avengers knocking on my door – I was finding myself wishing for it. I
wanted Bucky to fight for me – I wanted him to prove me wrong. I needed him to.
Days went by in a blur as I debated with myself on what I should do. Maybe he
was still on his mission? Maybe Tony had told him to let me be? I couldn’t find
an adequate excuse for it.
“Are you sure he won’t just show up at your door?” Nicole
asked one morning – arching her eyebrows in curiosity.
“I’ve only ever talked to him
about the cottage once… and it was just in passing,” I shrugged miserably.
“Well maybe he’s trying to get ahold of you? Have you
checked your phone?” she asked casually.
“No – it’s been off since I got
here,” I added miserably.
“Well maybe you should…”
“NO,” I snapped at her. As much as I wanted him to fabricate
from thin air – I also really didn’t want to know why he hadn’t told me. I had
made up my mind that I wouldn’t like his reasoning, and that was that.
I walked into the living room rubbing my eyes wearily. I had
somehow managed to doze off as I snuggled in the oversized bed reading my dad’s
beaten copy of Kurt Vonnegut’s “Slaughterhouse-Five.” I stretched my arms as I
peered around the room – spotting Nicole on the couch in front of the
fireplace. “Hey,” I muttered quietly. Her head immediately snapped in my
direction as she quickly hid her hands. “What are you? OH NO. I told you no!” I
roared as I went to snatch the phone from her hands. “Now they’ll know where
I’m at! Dammit Nicole!” After a brief struggle I victoriously grabbed the phone
from her hands and crossed my arms – huffing angrily.
“Ten missed calls, one voicemail, and twenty text messages,” she stated as a fact.
“Huh?” I asked confused.
“Those are all from this Bucky guy. It seems like he might
care,” she shrugged casually. I rolled my eyes annoyed and stomped back into
the bedroom determined to hide there for the rest of the night.
As I curled up in the bed I couldn’t help, but feel like the
phone I held in my hand felt like a lead weight. Should I go ahead and look?
There was no way that Tony hadn’t locked onto where I was within fifteen
minutes. Bucky, Tony, or Steve would be here in a matter of hours – so there
was no point in holding out any longer… I needed to go ahead and face whatever
he had to say so I could prepare myself. I reluctantly lifted the phone to my
face – it was best to get the voicemail out of the way first. I clicked on the
message before putting the phone on speaker and listened.
Bucky’s voice permeated the quiet
of the room. My heart sank as I listened.
“Y/N… Tony said that you left a few days ago but wouldn’t
tell him where you were going… I… I know something happened between you and
Nat. Please call… please let me explain. I don’t… I don’t want to lose you over
this. I… I’m sorry,” his voice was so incredibly sad that I had to bite the
inside of my cheek to keep myself from crying. When he paused at the end of the
message my heart had done a backflip. I had never realized how much I wanted to
hear him say that he loved me – but my hopes fell as flat as his voice as the
I flipped through the the text
-Hey! I’m coming home
– can’t wait to see your beautiful face.
-Steve just talked to
Tony and he said you left???
-Is everything okay?
-I tried to call but
it went straight to voicemail. Y/N please call me.
-Y/N, it’s not what
you think. Please call me doll. Please come home. I miss you. I need to
-I know I fucked it
all up but please let me explain.
They kept going – each one a different variation of the one
before it. I felt sick. It had been easier to accept everything when I had cut
myself off from him. I sighed heavily. The truth was so glaringly obvious – I
had never really accepted what had happened – just prolonged the inevitable. As
I was flipping through the rest of the texts Bucky’s picture illuminated the
screen. I froze in absolute panic – he was calling and I had accidentally just
I stared at the phone –
completely frozen in fear.
“Y/N,” Bucky’s voice said softly from the other end. I
remained silent. I didn’t know what to do or what to say. It was as if I had
suddenly turned into a statue. Bucky took my silence as a sign that I was going
to listen and suddenly it was as if a flood gate had opened from his end of the
conversation. “Doll, I am so sorry. I don’t know what all happened, but I know
this is my fault. I swear I was going to tell you… I was going to explain
everything, but I was just so afraid. So afraid of saying or doing the wrong
thing and losing you… because you make me so happy. I haven’t… well I haven’t
been this happy in a long time,” he paused for a moment waiting for my response.
I sat in silence still unable to articulate the hundreds of conversations I had
played out in my mind between us the last few days. “Doll…. Please. Please say
something,” he pleaded – the edge of desperation cutting into his words.
All of my faculties seemed to have been taken over by some
unknown part of myself that was unwilling to be hurt the way I had been hurt
before. “There’s nothing left to say, Bucky…. Goodbye,” I said quietly before
ending the call. I didn’t even know the words that were spilling out of my
mouth until it was too late. I sat dumbfounded at myself as I stared at the
phone in my hand. Why would I say that? What had I just done? Tears welled in
my eyes as I realized that I could have very well ended everything then – he
was trying and I had shut him down.
I jumped slightly as the door opened and Nicole came into
the room. She looked at me apologetically as she held up two wine glasses and a