if you cant pick me out even if you dont know me you should be able to find me

Insecurities (Josh Dun)

Hell this is my second ever imagine I have written on this blog and I am thankful for the notes I received on my first post, as always feel free to drop some requests in my inbox and I will try to get round to doing them as soon as possible.

I was in a very sappy mood so I decided that I was going to write some emotional stuff about Josh being insecure about his looks as well as comparing himself to Tyler.

I want you to know that everyone reading this out there is beautiful even if people tell you any different (Including yourself) Trust me you pretty and beautiful every single day. If you ever want someone to speak to feel free to send me a message. :)

Triggers: Josh talks about body parts he dislikes such as, hair, eyes, chest, tattoos, and height. If any of the things above trigger you please be careful, however they are only brief mentions and don't go into any detail.


Josh POV

I have alway been slightly an anxious person throughout my life, whether that means hiding behind my powerful drum kit and letting Tyler be the main attraction during concerts or breaking into a small sweat when I order at a restaurant scared that I will mess up a simple order. However I thought that the one thing that I was able to control really well was the amount of negative comments me and Tyler often receive, I tend to just block them out because I know how many positive comments we get back from our fans, but something is different.

As I sit on the cold sheets at the very edge of the bed that me and my girlfriend (Y/N) share I can’t help but hear all these pessimistic words flood into my ears. I am sitting shirtless with only a pair of basketball shorts laying low on my hips, my elbows creating red marks on my thighs from where I had been leaning on my hands for a period of time. I didn’t know where this ongoing battle in my brain was leading to but instantaneously, I couldn’t handle in any more and the tears cascaded down my cheeks all at once as if every hurtful, mean and spiteful comment I have ever read suddenly turned to a pool of tears I was slowly creating on the crisp clean bed sheets, I have no idea what has come over me but I don’t feel this flood of emotions starting to slow down anytime soon. I suddenly remembered that (Y/N) is downstairs and that I should quieten down, the last thing I want to do is worry her about my stupid problems. I quickly jump up off the bed and rush over to the large mirror that was on the wall above a chest of drawers and stared into it

She doesn't love you 

She doesn't really want to be with you 

Did you actually think that someone like (Y/N) would actually want to date someone like you. 

Everyone likes Tyler more than you

Tyler is the attractive one

All you do is play the drums, Tyler does so much more and you just sit there

I look in the mirror that was in front of me, I stare into my dark brown eyes, brown boring old brown, I look at my bubblegum pink hair, its horrible, not even a natural colour. I continue to pinpoint different things on my body, my tattoos, my chest, my height and the list goes on. 

“Josh are you alright? You have been in their a while now” I hear (Y/N) call from outside the door, with concern laced in her voice. I look once again into the glass mirror and rub the salty tears from my eyes trying my hardest to rid any evidence that I had been crying.

“Yes I’m fine, I will be out in a second” I reply unconvincingly because my voice broke halfway through.

“Josh, I know you’re upset please can I come in?” (Y/N) asks, (Y/N) wasnt stupid she knew when I was upset I don’t even know why I tried to hide it from her because I knew that she would just find out anyway. She was also stubborn so no matter how many times I tell her I am fine she wont stop pestering me to make sure that I really am alright.

I dont respond in the fear that my voice won’t be able to support me, I walk back over and sit on the bed like I was previously. (Y/N) pokes her head from around the door and sees me with my head in my hands trying with all that is left in me to fight back the tears that were threatening to spill.

“Oh Josh” (Y/N) exclaims sadly, putting her small her to her mouth and rushes over to comfort me.

I feel her protective arms wrap around my shoulders, I respond automatically by turning to her and burying my head into her soft sweet smelling hair, I continue to cry into her shoulder for another few minutes until I am settled enough to talk.

I explain to (Y/N) about all the emotions I have been experiencing and that I felt like people like Tyler more than me because he sings as well as play other instruments. I continue to speak to ashamed to look up at her softened glance. But when I finally do I notice she is also crying, however she speedily wipes the tears away not wanting to show her emotions on the situation.

“Josh, I can only understand that you being in a famous that at times it is going to get overwhelming for you, having all these amazing fans look up to you, admire you. However I know that you and Tyler are going to get your share of negative comments, but honestly that is because they are jealous, they are jealous that they can’t play the drums, they are jealous that it isn’t them on stage surrounded by thousands of people who love them, they are jealous that they can’t tour with their best friend, fuck that the people who say these low life comments proably don’t have a best friend.” (Y/N) takes a sharp intake of breath and swallows hard.

“(Y/N) I-”

“I’m not finished” She cuts me off and I stay silent looking at her from the side, at this angle I can see how the low moonlight reflects beautifully off of her glistening eyes. She truly is beautiful. 

“Do you know how upset it makes me when you say all these untrue negative things about yourself, Josh you are beautiful, personality wise and appearance wise, I love your chocolate brown eyes, because I love the way that they widen when you hear something funny, I love your pink hair because it suits your personality and I love the way that it sticks to your forehead when you play the drums.”

I cant stop grinning, I didnt realise that she picked up on all these small details about me.

“I love the your tattoos they look amazing, I love that when you are asleep next to me I trace over them softly not to wake you, I love your body all of it I love your toned chest and the way that your back glistens with sweat you have been playing the drums for a while. I love how tall you are you may not be the tallest but you don’t need to be any taller because your height is the perfect height for me to do this”

(Y/N) then gives me a quick and small peck on the lips, I grin widely.

“I love you Josh alot, and so do thousands if not millions of fans out there.” She finishes and tightens her grip around me. I sit in shock I didnt realise I did all of those things myself so I was surprised when (Y/N) picked up on them.

“Wow, I don’t know what to say, I mean how did you notice all these things about me?” I question a smirk appearing on my face. I see (Y/N) duck her head down as a red blush forms on her cheeks.

“I dont know I just, notice” She replies, I chuckle deeply.

“I love you (Y/N) and I’m sorry, I’m sorry for upsetting you”

“Josh it’s alright really, as long as you are feeling better then I am ok to. I love you” She says with a genuine smile on her lips.

We both sit there in silence for a minute just taking in each others company. (Y/N) stands up suddenly and stretched her arm out towards me, encouraging me to take her hand.

“C’mon, lets go watch a film and cuddle on the sofa for a bit” She suggests, I grin

“that sounds perfect.” 

exorcistsakuri  asked:

If it's not any trouble, could you do a headcanon of RFA reacting to MC not being able to speak fluently in their lanuage and messing up alot/always switching to their mother tongue by accident? (P.S I love your headcanons have a great day)

i wrote most of the dialogue in english but just…pretend they speakin Korean OK :3

~requests are closed as of the time i am posting this, nov 30, 2016~


  • since MC had only recently learned Korean they did this thing where they would forget the word that describes one specific thing
  • like they’ll be out grocery shopping with Yoosung for the week
  • “oh, Yoosung! we should get…”
  • they look down, thinking hard for a moment
  • “…w…whats the word….?”
  • Yoosung honestly thought it was the most adorable thing ever
  • he looked at them, their eyebrows scrunched together
  • Yoosung decides to offer some help
  • “well, we’re out of-”
  • “shhhh! i love you but i got this!”
  • MC, without looking up, pushed their finger against Yoosungs lips
  • he giggled and kisses the finger
  • “c’mon, MC! think! think!”
  • they places a finger on each of their temples, as if trying to summon the information out of their brain
  • they sigh, looking defeated
  • “follow me”
  • MC pushes their cart to the produce section, Yoosung walking by their side
  • the pick up an apple from a fruit display
  • “this! we need these”
  • Yoosung takes the apple from MC, holding it up with a bright smile
  • “sagwa”
  • MC takes another apple, holding it up to Yoosungs
  • “sagwa. sagwa sagwa sagwa”
  • they were staring hard at the apples, determined to remember the name
  • Yoosung giggles again
  • gosh, they are just the cutest thing!
  • his little apple


  • although MC was pretty good at speaking Korean, they often had trouble reading it
  • which sometimes caused problems whenever Zen asked them to read lines with him
  • they wanted to help so bad but!!!
  • sometimes their reading is a little slow
  • “i never th….thought you w…would be able to l..lie to…”
  • MC smacks the papers into their forehead
  • “i’m sorry i’m so stupid, Zen…i wish i could be more helpful…”
  • Zen moves the papers aside so he can look at their face
  • their cheeks were red with embarrassment
  •  “sweetheart, you arent stupid at all. hey, i cant only speak one language”
  • MC avoids his eyes, trying to stay upset
  • Zen grabs their hands and leans in close so they cant ignore him
  • “i’ll make you a deal, baby”
  • “a deal…?”
  • “yes. i’ll teach you how to read Korean if you teach me how to speak english”
  • MC looks at him, a grin forming on their face
  • they let go of his hand and hold it out for a handshake
  • “deal”
  • Zen has english tutoring monday wednesday friday after his rehearsal and MC has Korean reading lessons tuesday thursday after breakfast
  • Zen will never stop making jokes about how he has a crush on his english teacher
  • sometimes if he’s having a hard time with the lesson he’ll try to be all flirty and get out of it and MC’s just like yea OK Zen
  • “we can stop the lesson if you can flirt with me in english”
  • …..
  • “thats what i thought”


  • Jaehee decided to bring some snacks to MC’s house since they were recently complaining about being low on food 
  • she packed a care package with ramen, rice, and little cakes!
  • MC was sure to love it :)
  • she knocks on the door
  • when MC opens the door their face lights up
  • “Jaehee! what a pleasant surprise!”
  • “good afternoon, MC. i hope you’ll accept this gift. i thought you might be hungry”
  • MC grabs the basket from Jaehee
  • Merci!”
  • MC laughs, covering their mouth
  • “oops! kamsamnida”
  • Jaehee looks at MC, confused
  • “Merci…? what does that mean…?”
  • MC rubs the back of their neck as they let Jaehee inside
  • “it’s french. sorry, i grew up speaking french and it just slips out sometimes”
  • Jaehee blushes
  • Merci…that sounded kind of cute…
  • “what else can you say in french?”
  • MC laughs
  • “anything, silly! it is my first language, after all”
  • when Jaehee looks down, MC realized that Jaehee asked because she wanted to hear more french
  • while unpacking the food, they start to speak
  • “Jaehee est mon amour”
  • “hmm? you said something about me! what did you say?”
  • MC smiles smugly to themselves
  • “dont worry about it, youll find out soon enough”
  • Jaehee is so innocent


  • it was pretty common for MC to slip into english when they were really sleepy
  • when Jumin says MC’s cute when they’re tired, he doesnt just mean how they look
  • he adores the way they switch from Korean and english, sometimes multiple times in one sentence
  • he’ll just run his hand through their hair softly as he gives up on trying to understand them
  • he’ll just hear “Jumin oppa….” and then a ton of mumbled nonsense
  • but it was adorable mumbled nonsense
  • thanks to that, though, he now knows how to say “good morning” and “good night” in english
  • he also knows “i love you”
  • one morning MC’s eyes flutter open to see Jumin laying next to them
  • he was looking at them with a warm smile
  • “g'morning, Jumin” they say in english with a groggy voice
  • “good morning, i love you”
  • he cant help but smile even bigger as he says good morning to MC in their own language
  • they were too sleepy to realize that Jumin just spoke english
  • they scoot closer to him, burying their face into his neck
  • “s….saranghae…”
  • Jumin wraps his arms around them tightly as they drift off again
  • what a little cutie, he thinks
  • he’ll just show off his english skills later when theyre more awake


  • when Seven ignored MC there was only one real way they could make themselves feel better
  • the english language
  • “MC, i told you to leave me alone. i’m trying to work”
  • MC would walk away, mumbling in english
  • “yea, this is fine. sure. i just love it when you push me away, Seven! i’m begging you, please never stop. it’s not like i’m in love with you or anything”
  • or even
  • “Seven, i’m going to eat soon, do you want me to make you something?”
  • “no. im not hungry. just eat alone”
  • MC mumbles in english again
  • “fantastic! i love eating alone. isnt it great to be inches away from the man you love and not even be able to make him a simple meal? yup! love it”
  • one day MC was sitting back to back with Seven and decided to call him
  • he answers the phone
  • “what?”
  • “Seven..! i was just going to ask if..um..you needed anything?”
  • “no. why do you keep calling me?”
  • MC answered him in english, knowing he wouldnt understand
  • “oh, i dont know. because i’m thinking about you every second of everyday and hoping you’re okay and when all you do is sit in this corner and work i get worried and i’m in love with you?”
  • Seven lets out a long, heavy sigh
  • “stop saying you love me”
  • MC stops breathing
  • he….he just spoke english…?
  • oh god, all those times they said all that stupid shit
  • he…he knew…
  • he heard it all. he understood it all
  • they hang up the phone and bury their head between their knees
  • how could they have been so stupid??
  • MC’s body starts to shake, their back still against Seven
  • then Seven decides to do something he knows is probably a bad idea
  • he turns around and wraps his arms around MC, pulling them into his lap
  • he doesnt want them to cry, please dont cry
  • Seven speaks to MC in english
  • “i dont hate you, MC. i do this to protect you….i know sometimes it hurts but just know that you’re very important to me”
  • he tries to cheer them up
  • “hey, MC! remember this? honey, i love you~”
  • MC giggles and sniffles a little bit
  • “yea…just like the teddy bears, right? thats the first time you called me cute..”
  • Seven feels his face heat up
  • “i should…get back to work”
  • MC’s still upset, so he lets them lay their head in his lap while he works on his laptop
  • this was probably a mistake but he really liked it



Summary: The most notorious mafia gang in the city, and you’re at the heart of it…quite literally!

Based off of this request - “All of BB - MADE trailer. All hitmen. U r like a sister to them. All live together in a safe house (love ur cooking/adorable family). U get kidnapped & fucked up badly (ANGST!), they r PISSED. People get fucked up, killed while they save you. Fun ;)”

AN: OMG I got such a hugely positive response for this series to go ahead, so…here’s the second part! ;) 
…Lets meet the boys shall we? :P x

Part 1

Part 2

It was a rare occasion when Jiyong had all the boys round to enjoy a meal. More often than not he kept it all strictly business- with the exception of Youngbae. However, once in a while he’d give you a call early in the evening to say he was sending Soobin -his private chef- round to prepare a meal for the 5 of them and that if you wanted to, you could join- which you hardly ever turned down, except when you were ill.

Your eagerness had nothing to do with wanting to know Jiyong’s business- if you wanted to know, you could just ask him, he’d tell you anything. It was more the fact that the men that he had working for him were some of the most fascinating men you’d ever met, and quite frankly, they were a great laugh.

Although, as you begin to get ready, hearing Soobin in the kitchen clattering about as she cooks, you cant help but think about the last time that Jiyong had hosted one of these meals. It was all alright, and the evening was going smoothly, while being full of relaxation and laughter, up until Seungri had decided to tease the other members of the gang by dropping the formalities, refusing to use ‘hyung’ when referring to each of them, and within the space of 10 seconds Daesung and Youngbae had him in a very compromising position on the floor, the use of a knife being pointed towards his nether regions prompting him to remember who he was talking to.

It should have finished there, but with Seungri being the member of the group that had the most certificates in various martial arts- some you didn’t even know how to pronounce- by the time they let go of him and removed the knife, he’d swept them both to the floor in the blink of an eye and had proceeded to remind them of his achievements. Of course, when Seunghyun had stood up from his chair on Jiyong’s command, all of them had stepped away from each other before he could take a step in their direction. The man had a very… formidable- read:terrifying- reputation.

'My Darling, Jagi?!’

Jiyong’s singsong call makes you grin as you regard yourself in the mirror, checking you looked okay, before standing up and making your way to the door, getting startled when it suddenly flies open.

'Ah! There you are!’

You’re enveloped in a pair of warm, muscular arms before you can even register Jiyong’s face, giggling as you hug him back and press a kiss to his lips, the bare skin beneath your hands bringing your attention to the fact that he was shirtless.

'Where did your-’ you’re about to ask, before looking over his shoulder and seeing the discarded white material on the floor in the corridor.

'Ji, why cant you just put it in the washing basket? Or, you know, wait till you actually get to the bedroom before taking your shirt off?’ you ask, tone playfully scolding as you raise your brows at him, watching him pout as his eyes glue to your lips.

'Jagi, I just got home, give me a kiss and stop whining.’ he complains, leaning forward to attack your mouth and frowning when you lean away from him, relying on him to keep you from falling down with his arm around your waist and your hands clasped on his shoulders.

'Sir, you can talk to me like that when i’m your maid, but if you dont go and pick that shirt up right now-’

'Fine.’ he cuts you off, huffing angrily as he props you back up and walks back to retrieve his shirt from the floor, snapping it angrily in the air before walking past you to the laundry basket just inside the bathroom door.

'Happy now?-OH-’

You grin as you push him back against the wall, crashing your lips to his and feeling how tight his grip was on your waist where you had surprised him, smirking at his survival instincts. You chuckle into his mouth as you feel him relax into you, hearing him whine needily as his lips move ravenously against yours, his tongue joining the mix and coaxing yours into joining it.

'You’re such a-’

'If that sentence doesn’t end in princess, or sexy motherfucker, then you should stop now.’ you pant as you pull away from him, smirking before noticing that your lipstick had smudged all over his mouth.

'JI!’ you complain, turning your head to look in the giant, gilded, framed mirror that stood in one corner of your bedroom and seeing the mess that was your mouth.

'Hey! Dont blame me! You were the one that attacked me! Besides, I should be the one complaining at you-’

'Oh, come on! We all know how much you love me doing your eyeliner when you have a serious business deal and you need to look badass.’ you argue, grinning at him, not being able to help the way your gaze flickers between his and his lips.

'Hmmm, I’ll let you off if you kiss me again.’ Ji murmurs, pursing his lips in invitation, which you immediately accept, holding his head tightly as you deepen the kiss.

'Well this reminds me of last night.’ he mumbles against your mouth, chuckling mischievously as his hands slide to your butt to give it a firm squeeze, making your hips jolt against his, bringing your attention to the fact you were wearing one of your favourite dresses.

'Ji, dont ruin my dress.’ you grumble, pulling away from him to look down at yourself, neatening the fabric before getting pulled against him once again.

'Jagi, you look beautiful, you know that?’ he whispers, grinning that cheshire cat grin of his as his half lidded eyes peer down at you, his mouth inching ever closer and hypnotizing you into kissing him again.

He always did this. He’d have a productive day at work- finish a deal or something, then because his day had gone well he’d invite the boys round, but because he was so excited about the achievements of the day, he’d end up racing home to you so that you could enjoy them with him.

And as much as you enjoyed that…you were also very aware that the boys would be round any min-

You try to push him away when you hear a loud knock echo down the hall from the front door, half giggling and half groaning when he begins to attack your neck instead, but as soon as you hear Youngbae’s voice as he converses with Soobin, you know you both need to stop.

'Baby, come on. You need to get dressed.’ you murmur, pulling his head back up to your face and kissing him soundly, before slipping out of his arms and pulling the bathroom door shut behind you as you make your way out, winking at him as you leave him stood staring after you with a lust filled gaze that promised to continue your activities later.

You quickly fix your makeup in your vanity before making your way down the hall to greet Youngbae, finding Daesung stood with him when you finally make it to the lounge and smiling at them both warmly.

'Good Evening, Boys.’ you say, giving each a hug and a kiss on the cheek before Soobin brings you over your usual Martini- having already given the other two men their drinks.

'You look lovely this evening, Y/N.’ Youngbae comments from his place in Jiyong’s usual chair, sat looking pleased with himself that he’d managed to claim the spot, but you know that he’ll only be there so long. Your eyes move to Daesung who was leant against the window ledge at the side of the room, his gaze focused outside of the building, as if he was scouring the streets for threats.

When you’d first met Daesung he’d been full of light, very eager to do anything and everything that Jiyong asked of him, and very capable of doing it- although at times he could be slightly clumsy. But as you watch him now, you cant help but notice the subtle changes in him.

His shoulders were bigger…heavier…like he was carrying the weight of the world on them. His body had thinned out so that he now just looked like one solidly shaped muscle, the way he kept his knees constantly bent slightly, telling you he was ready to pounce at any given opportunity. The thick muscles of his arms that almost bulged through his shirt struck fear into the hearts of enemies whilst enticing potential partners, but for some reason you never saw him with anyone else…

His face had changed too. The sunshine smile of the youth that you’d first met three years ago had dimmed a little, although whenever he looked directly at someone he always conjured it back up like there was no difference. The lines around his eyes that seemed to have sunk even deeper into his face proved that the job had aged him, but the spritely tufts of thick, dyed, chestnut hair ontop of his head helped him maintain his youthful appearance.

He was a quiet man. Simple in his needs. And he only really ever spoke about something when he had something useful or inspiring to say. The only exception to this rule being when he’d had a few drinks or was on an adrenaline high.

'How are you, Daesung?’ you ask, watching as he turns to look at you quickly, his signature smile appearing within the blink of an eye as he moves away from the window to approach you, sitting in the chair beside you.

'I am very well, thank you Y/N. Yourself?’

It was five minutes into your conversation with Daesung about life, mainly the current state of the economic sector of the nation- which drew Youngbae in with a frustrated complaint about rising costs of fuel (Youngbae being the main getaway driver/chauffeur of the group)- that the door opened without warning and Seungri swaggered on into the apartment with a bright expression and a heavy looking bag of what turned out to be alcohol.

'Whats happening, people?’ he greets loudly, spotting you and smirking as he gives the bag to Soobin, before making his way over and dropping himself into the spare spot on the sofa beside you, purposefully sitting as close as possible.

'Y/N, may I say you are looking particularly beautiful tonight…although you are always breath-taking.’ the youngest man greets you, leaning his arm along the back of the sofa behind you and giving you his undivided attention.

'Seungri, do you have a death wish?’ Youngbae asks disbelievingly, watching the Maknae’s antics from the seat across from you and making you smile at his question.

It wasn’t a secret that you were considered as the biggest jewel in Jiyong’s crown. Although your meeting hadn’t been all that traditional or conventional for a romantic relationship.

You were rescued by a rival gang amidst an ambush on your fathers estate- after which you hadn’t seen your family again, but before they’d even managed to take you back to their base, the car you had been riding in had been commandeered by a man with a flashy mohican and the members of the rival gang that had been sat in the car with you had each been taken out with a bullet to the head from a gun you had no recollection of ever seeing- although you later found out that that was one of the charms of Seunghyun.

Daesung had then proceeded to coax you out of the vehicle and into another much more expensive looking van, which is where you’d first come face to face with Jiyong. You remember even amidst all the chaos that you’d gone through that night, you’d been able to appreciate the beauty of the man, getting completely transfixed by the catlike grace with which he held himself and the flash of mischief that was so very prominent in his gaze.

It had still taken you months to trust him- you weren’t stupid. But it was the first night that you’d seen his skills put to work- only ever having seen him sat behind a desk or giving orders before that as he’d kept you captive- seeing the way every shot he fired was precise, every blow he landed hit his target perfectly, every move he made being exact in its measurements and purpose…that showed you just how alike to a piece of art he was.

Just like he was right now.

'Seungri, would you mind telling me why you’re sat so close to my girl?’

He walked into the room with an effortless beauty, having changed into a quirky yet suave outfit that consisted of black loose fitting slacks, a glittering, white, close fitting shirt and braces, all topped off with his hair twisted into a 60’s style quiff and a cigarette hanging loosely from his fingers.

'Just keeping her company, boss.’ Seungri responds, winking at you cheekily and making you narrow your eyes at him in disbelief- a look that Jiyong doesn’t fail to catch.

'Really? Cause she doesn’t seem to look all that comfortable with your company. And if my girl isn’t comfortable, Im sure as hell not either.’ Jiyong murmurs, his voice growing dark as he continues to make his way slowly in your direction, his aggressive glare fixed solely on Seungri as he nods his head to tell him to move, the Maknae quickly following orders, before Ji folds himself elegantly into the vacated spot beside you, pulling you into him as soon as he’s comfortable and smelling just as good as he always did.

'So, where is Seunghyun-’

As if on que there is a polite, yet definitive knock at the door, and you watch as Soobin hurries over to open it, bowing politely as she reveals the final gang member in the entry way.

Every time you set your eyes on Seunghyun you get hit with a mixture of fear and awe, the presence that the man commands meaning you can hardly take your eyes off of him, both due to his beauty and the prevalent fear that if you do, you could be dead in seconds. A hushed quiet descends over the room as he walks in, the constant subtle smirk that fixes his features putting everyone on edge- everyone, except Jiyong.

'Nice, of you to finally join us, Hyung.’

That was the other thing about Seunghyun, not only was he one of the more experienced members, he was also the oldest and therefore- with the exception of Jiyong- demanded the most respect. He doesn’t say anything as he mosied on over to the seating area, descending gracefully into the seat that Youngbae vacates- sitting on the opposite sofa- and getting himself comfortable, taking the glass of wine that Soobin offers him gratefully before finally turning his attention to his boss.

'Its my pleasure, Jiyong.’

His deep voice makes the words tremble as they seep beneath your skin, and although you dont like to openly admit it, Jiyong is highly aware of the effect that Seunghyun has on you, the man never failing to put you on edge, no matter how much he fascinates you.

You feel Jiyong’s hand caress your waist tenderly as he drops a small kiss to your temple, smiling at you when you turn to him, before turning his attention to the rest of the room adopting his 'relaxed’ business expression and humming in approval when he sees that all of his guests were there.

'Well, since you’re all here, we might as well start the celebrations.’ Jiyong comments, taking the glass of scotch that Soobin offers, the woman handing another glass with darker liquid to Seungri, before the man next to you holds his in the air, being followed by you and the men around him.

'To a day’s work well done. To friends. To comrades….

…And to the legend that is Bigbang.’


My first Jungkook smut!! Thank u to my first anon to submit a request, I reallllllly appreciate it,, also sorry its late :(
I hope u like it :))


You have been hanging out with your best friend so much lately, since your parents are gone on vacation and left you alone at your house. You somewhat don’t mind it though because you know how much he’d worry about you if he wasn’t always with you.
You wake up to see Jungkook laying on your couch with his hand slighty under his band of his sweats, his white tee a mess, showing a peek at his lower abs and his head tilted to one side so its showing off that sharp jawline of his.
You can’t help but admire how beautiful this boy is and how lucky you are that he’s on your couch and that this beautiful boy is your best friend.

You go over to cover him with the blanket that he somehow tossed on the floor and just before you pick it up his hand grabs your shirt and pulls you down next to him. You gasp from the sudden pull and you end up sitting on lower abdomen as he sleepily says with his raspy morning voice,
“Good morning y/n, did you sleep well, I missed you, I didn’t dream of you sadly”
You get up feeling flustered and throw the nearest pillow at his face. He gets up immediately, rubs his eyes, lets out a yawn, and pulls you into his lap. Now your back to his chest as he tightly hugs your waist and digs his chin into your collar bone.
“Jungkook, w-what’re you doing,,,” you say getting flustered from feeling his warmth and not to mention his dick right underneath you,, hard,,
You see the pillow in front of you on the floor and think to pick it up to hit him again to knock some sense into him, but as soon as you stand up and bend over to grab it, he tugs the band of your shorts and sits you back down on his lap,, this time for forcefully,
“Ya know,, y/n,,, You’re making it hard for me to resist you when you bend directly in front of my face in these,, (he tugs on your shorts) tight little shorts of yours,,”
You can feel you face burning up,, you wanted him to touch you, the warmth of his hands on your leg and side felt so good you wanted more,, you felt his bulge from his sweats getting harder and harder every time you moved even an inch. It turned you on so much. That raspy morning voice that keeps talking so delicately next to your ear gave you chills down your spin.
“Y/n,, why do you do this to me,,,” Jungkook says as he lightly brushes his lips against your ear down to your neck,, you let out a whine that makes him grab your inner thigh, gripping it like its his property.
“Can you just tell me when to stop,,” He says with a pleading voice, as he glides his hand closer to your pussy.
You let out a light moan and slowly threw your head back so its on his shoulder now as you still sit on his hard bulge.
He begins to rub you over your shorts earning little moans that escape your mouth. You turn your head closer to his face and he turns his to yours and lightly kisses you,,
“You’re so beautiful,, I want you so badly”
You kiss him back harshly feeling the warmth from his tongue enter your mouth, hearing him groan into your mouth as you open you legs wider to give him better access.
He slips his hand from the top of your shorts into your panties, rubbing your clit making your body feel numb.
He makes his way down and enters one finger slowly, pushes it in and out then enters two and goes faster. You moan into his kiss as he grips your hair and pulls it down giving access to your neck.
He kisses and sucks your neck as he fingers your tight pussy faster and faster.
You start to grind your hips on his dick making him pull your hair harder and sucking your neck more messily. He starts cursing calling you a tease. Just before you were about to climax he sits you up, helps you stand with your numb legs and faces you towards him. Still standing he looks at your shorts and sees that its all wet,
“Wow you’re so wet already,,”
You blush, “Shut up,,”
He slowly pulls your shorts along with your panties down letting it go all the way down to your knees then you step out one leg at a time.
“So beautiful” he says as he kisses your thigh and leans in to lick your clit.
You instantly grab his hair and moan out from the sudden sensation, he licks and sucks while he still looks you in the eyes not wanting to miss any of your reactions.
You widen your gap of your legs more to give him better access and he slips two fingers inside you while he still sucks your clit.
You swear you can see stars now the feeling was just too good. And being able to see those big brown hungry eyes looking at you just turned you on. You know he’s really horny and his dick is probably throbbing at this point.
You grip his hair pulling it up to you while pulling his chin up with your other hand and you being to kiss him,, tasting all your juices and his wet saliva.
You push his chest to make him sit back down on the couch.
You get on your knees and rub his bulge earning an amazing moan from him,, you cant imagine what he’ll sound like when you suck him off..
As you slowly pull his sweats and boxers down his dick pops up without any hesitation you grab it lightly and start to rub him slowly,,
You stand up and whisper in his ear,,
“I’m gonna make you feel good Jungkook”
He gulps and watches every little move you make as you situate yourself.
You lightly lick the side and tip before you take him all at once, he cocks his head back moaning loadly,, you begin to go faster cupping his balls as he thrusts his hips up to get a deeper effect,, with his head still back he manages to find your hair with his hand and holds it up moaning your name,,
“Y/n please dont stop,, keep sucking please”

He starts to beg as you deep throat him trying your best not to gag. He sits his head up bitting his bottom lip and pulls you up with no hesitation and sits you on his dick. You take him whole and he whispers into you ear,
“Ride me”
You slowly start to bounce up and down and fasten your pace,, you’ve never felt so good before,, Jungkooks dick was filling your entire pussy up, hitting all the right spots,, you wanted all of him,,
You kiss him harshly,,
“I’m gonna cum,,” you say with a whining voice.
“Cum for me, y/n” he says as he thrusts into you deeper, making you see stars. You both cum, still riding him out during your climax and resting your head into his neck panting, sweaty everywhere,,

Jungkook kisses your lips,, “I did not imagine that happening,, but I’m so glad it did!”
You laugh,
“Ya maybe my parents should go on more vacations”
You both laugh as he helps clean you up and pulls you under the blanket with him,,
“Time to go back to sleep” He says as he holds onto you tightly kissing your cheek.


Keep going.

After the serious talk in the morning, Levi asked Eren what’s your plan today? Eren replied he needs to be back home and keep going with packing his stuff. He’ll move to Seattle next week.

Levi said then see you in the evening. His driver will pick him up.

This is the evening when they met.

Levi had sent Eren many gifts before, while the younger returned most of them…Levi found this guy was different from those sugar babes he had gone out with. It seems that he was so hard to be pleased. So finally, giving him a ride with a bigger flying toy worth a try…

Well it works.

Eren didn’t keep this stunning face for long, he turned to smile quickly.

‘Damn it, WTH this time, a helicopter!?’

‘Welcome on board Mr.Jaeger. Pls fasten your safety belt.’

‘You are not playing fair, rich guy.’ Eren complained with a smile and a hint of sarcasm.

Though he wouldn’t admit it, Eren was excited about this trip indeed…

He had glider flying license (which means the aircraft type with no engine) himself but this surprise came suddenly.

‘No I dont. I never.’ Levi replied.

After they arrived Levi’s place, the elder asked Eren signed a NDA as in the movie. Eren complained he earnestly wish not to mention their relationship to anyone else. Levi supposed to show him the playroom, while Eren didn’t give him any time to do this:

‘Am I legally allowed to sleep with you now?’ He threw the pen on the table after signed the paper.

Levi found his little boyfriend was pissed so he had to say something.

‘What you mean by legally? Am I younger than 18?’ He smiled reluctantly, ‘I just want to show you something.’

‘Show me something.’


Eren didnt hold his hand immediately, actually his reaction was totally unexpected.

‘Dont you think it’s way too early to show me the ring?’

He looked at him mischievously.

Suddenly Levi was…눈口눈. Before he realized Eren pranked at him just for revenge, the younger went on.

‘Did anybody told you you looks cute with that face?’

This time Levi had no idea how to answer back effectively.

‘Now you bite your lip.’

Eren said, pulled the elder into his arms then gave him a kiss.

‘Show me where is your bedroom.’

By this time…I have to say Levi supposed to guide Eren to his secret chamber in the second floor firstly… but the latter made a mess to his plan. It’s difficult to say ‘no we should follow my step’ when they kissed like beasts.

Then this one came out…

You all saw the gif right?

He put his hand on his shoulder (I reverse the movie XD)


Eren asked Levi if it hurts this time, the elder didnt hear him at the beginning while he insisted to ask again and he answered no.

‘It doesn’t matter that much.’ Levi said dazedly, ‘I got used to pain.’

What do you mean?

But Eren wasnt able to think about it for long.

In the midnight.

The sound of piano woke Eren up. (And he was hungry… they wasn’t able to have dinner I just recalled)

Levi just had a nightmare so now he cant sleep. (He must be hungry too…so if we dont talk this sweetly, both of them got up in the midnight to find things to eat………)

‘What’s up.’

Eren walked to him, took a seat on the stool.

‘Want some water?’

‘Thank you.’

‘Mind to tell me why you are sitting here in the late night, waking ppl up with Bach?’

‘Sorry for disturbing your sweet dream,’ he said.

‘Are you afraid of being touched by the others?’

He grabbed the glass from Levi’s hand, found him avoiding to make any skin contact.

‘I thought it was cured.’ Levi frowned.

‘We can talk if you want.’ Eren said in a soft, calm voice, cupped his face and left a kiss on his forehead.

‘I had a rough start in life, that’s all you need to know.’ Levi replied. ‘Besides, I think no one would like to be touched without warning.’

‘Sure. So I’m giving you a reason,

It’s bed time so you should in bed.’

He carried him in his arms, taking this guy to his bed chamber.

Levi wasn’t so happy about be carried by this posture..especially he found Eren had difficulty to do so.

‘Brat, you’d better put me down, NOW. I wont say it again.’

‘No you wont bc we are almost there.’


‘Behave.’ Eren warned him seriously. ‘Otherwise I’ll have no choice but drop you. You will hit the floor by your head, but this wont break your neck. Stay in the hospital for several weeks, how pathetic.’

‘Then you will have trouble.’ Levi stared at him.

‘No. You wont let the police involved,’ Eren smirked.’You’re afraid of exposing our relationship to the public, remember the NDA?’

Levi had nothing to say.

‘Have you ever considered to be a writer of detective stories, must be a good one.’ Levi complained silently when he was thrown into bed.

‘You are heavy.’ Eren said. ‘I never carried a guy like this.’

‘Course you didn’t. Now what’s next? Knock me out in my own bed then you can have a peaceful night?’

Eren rolled his eyes.

‘I’m afraid you remind me an alternative option.’ He said with a dangerous voice.

‘Some naughty boy deserves more than just a spank.’

Later, Eren took his belt from the bathroom. He supposed to tie Levi’s wrists up with it, while the elder seemed rather die than be bound. They fought for several minutes, Eren’s killer instinct was aroused.

Finally Levi was tied up tightly.

Then his pants were gone, T-shirt rolled up to cover the eyes.

‘I want an apology’ Eren whispered.

‘While I’m not sure I can get it from you.’

He kissed Levi on his nose and then turned him over, slapped his butt.

‘Be quiet.’

T! B! C!

Now hate me more XD

Btw, Levi is the submissive. He just dont want Eren to know the truth before he showed him what he needed to, so he resisted, when Eren took the belt.

Actually he couldn’t help to be bound||||||||||||…Anyway things just happened like this…by chance.

Yuri!!! On Ice EP. 10 Over Analyses !!!!

we were blessed this week and i wanna go over every single detail of yuri and victors actions and what they meant to me and what i think they represent !

ill keep it under the cut cuz IT MIGHT GET A LIL LONG

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

what would the RFA + V and Saeran do if the Male!MC dealt with hypnagogic hallucinations + hallucinations caused by autophobia, and he was always wanting to be around his partner and just overall never wanting to be alone or sleep alone in fear of the hallucinations/other effects ?? im so sorry if this is too sensitive or anything; it's just that i have these types of hallucinations and im curious as to how everyone would help/react to them hng;;;'

a/n: okay so i was unaware that this condition existed, which is scary since you and many others deal with it, so I want to say how strong and brave you are Anon! Please message me if you feel comfortable :)

So by what I’ve looked up, which isn’t the same as experiencing it so I’m sorry if some of the info is wrong, Hypnagogic Hallucinations are hallucinations that occur from the transition of wakefulness to sleep, they are often vivid, bizarre, and sometimes disturbing.

They are visual, tactile, auditory or other sensory organs, usually brief but occasionally prolonged, can happen day or night, usually consists of simple forms such as colored circles or parts of objects that may be constant or changing in size.

Unfortunately that’s really all I could find, I hope all the info is right, and I write what you meant. If its wrong pls ask for another request, and I’ll fix it.



  • since Jumin loves being around you, he doesn’t really mind that you felt the same
  • he’d be thrilled actually
  • but he didn’t exactly know why you constantly wanted to be at his side, being frightened to be alone and the effects that come with it
  • you knew you should tell him but you couldn’t stand to see what he would think of you
  • the hallucinations became bearable with Jumin, they weren’t as bad or frequent
  • so when you found out that he was going on a business trip for a week, you were terrified
  • all you wanted to do was beg him to stay with you, but you didn’t want to seem needy or get in the way
  • he didn’t notice something was off with you until you started mumbling and whimpering in your sleep
  • at first he asked you if you had a nightmare, which slightly offended you
    you wish it was as simple as a nightmare, but what you were dealing with was far worse
  • you tried to push it off after seeing the worried expression on his face, you hated making him feel like this
  • “It’s not something I can just tell someone”
  • “I am not just someone MC! I am your boyfriend”
  • honestly you just start crying right there
  • he sighs at his harsh tone and pulls you into a hug immediately
  • “What’s going on MC? What are you hiding from me?”
  • you hate that he puts it that way, you didn’t want to hide it, you just couldn’t tell him
  • once you finally spill about EVERYTHING, your hypnagogic hallucinations, your hallucinations caused by autophobia, and everything in between, he cant believe how strong you are
  • he instantly begins praising you, asking you how you’ve managed to deal with them so far
  • “It’s all because of you Jumin..”
  • that’s literally all he has to hear
  • he changes his schedule COMPLETELY to make sure you guys are together 24/7
  • oh business trips? if you cant come, neither does he
  • he makes sure everyday that you know you aren’t a burden
  • if he’s the first to wake up in the morning, he will wake you up as well, he’s afraid that might scare you or make the hallucinations worse
  • if you want to get medicine or treatment or therapy or whatever, he will be there to support you fully
  • this hoe literally starts working from home just to be with you more
  • “Assistant Kang, I will not becoming into work from now on”
  • spoils the crap out of you
  • if for some reason he does have to leave your side, he is texting you, giving you a play by play of what he’s doing and asks you to do the same
  • literally Jumin does everything he can to help you cope


  • he looooooves that you want to be around him just as much as he does
  • he cant really tell that you always wanting to be around him is odd (which it isn’t) since he hasn’t had many relationships before
  • since he is a college student and that’s really the only time you guys would be apart, it isn’t that big of a deal for either of you
  • you don’t want to mention it to him, with his college test and all, you’d feel like you were just causing him more stress
  • but he could tell how nervous you’d act anytime he’d leave for school
    or how it seemed like you were scared to be alone
  • he also was scared to bring it up to you, what if it was a touchy subject? what if you didn’t want to talk about it?
  • he didn’t want to step over your boundaries even though he was your boyfriend
  • he noticed one morning you were more nervous than usually, constantly bouncing your leg or another habit
  • “MC? Are you feeling okay today?”
  • his voice would be small and unsure
  • once again, you’d feel bad for causing worry
  • you’d make an excuse like forgetting to put bills in the mail or something
  • “The mail hasn’t ran yet”
  • he’d honestly think you were contemplating on dumping him or something by how secretive you were being
  • “A-are you tired of me?”
  • you feel bad for making him think such things and you tell him everything and everything in between
  • at first he doesn’t really understand what you are dealing with until you tell him some of the hallucinations you’ve had
  • he pulls you into his arms and you hear him quietly sniffling
  • yes…he’s crying
  • “I’m sorry you’ve been dealing with this alone MC”
  • you explain to him that they would be far worse without him
  • after he finds out, he’s immediately looking for things to help you more
  • he even buys a dog that will lay with you while he’s gone at school
  • and you bet your ass he calls you in between classes and lunch
  • he constantly tells you you’re the strongest man he’s met
  • cuddles you twice as longer
  • you literally have to make him get out of bed
  • “buuuuuut MCCCCC”
  • 100000x more protective
  • freaks out if he loses eyesight of you in public places
  • always has his hand on you in some way
  • would go to therapy with you if you wanted
  • literally gave you his moms number in case he wasn’t picking up


  • with all of his interviews, movies, and plays, you felt like your problems would be too much for him to handle
  • you were constantly thinking about his fans and reputation
  • the fans supported your relationship, but you just felt like no one would be able to understand this, not even Zen
  • after all, you didnt think you would ever have to tell him since he has helped you keep in under control
  • but then he became busier at work and requested he came in more for filming and such
  • you could feel yourself become more anxious anytime he left for long
  • even though it was a home you two shared, it still didn’t feel right without Zen
  • anytime you would slowly drift off, the hallucinations became stronger, and this time you feel a hand on your back
  • you jump and open your eyes to see Zen’s worried expression sitting on the couch next to you
  • you felt warm tears on your cheeks and immediately go to wipe them as Zen does it for you
  • “What’s wrong MC? What happened? Did you see something?”
  • his voice is quick and full of panic, he looks like he had a long day at work and you feel extremly bad
  • “nothing. Im sorry, lets go to bed Zen”
    even though he gets an uneasy feeling, he still picks you up and carries you to the bed
  • “My prince MC, my prince MC”, he’d sing as he carried you
  • he’d lay you down first before laying next to you
  • you couldnt stand not being closer so you’d crawl to lay on his chest
  • which he doesnt mind bc CHEST SNUGGLES ARE THE BEST
  • after he tells you goodnight, you just lay there staring at the wall
  • you dont want to take the chance of him finding out, especially with his big movie projects coming up
  • he looked so worried today and you thought Zen should never have to feel that way
  • time goes by and little snores are coming out of Zen’s mouth
  • its so cute and you smile a little, that smile is quickly dismissed once you realize how tired you are
  • maybe you will sleep better since Zen is here?
  • “MC?”
  • “yes?”
  • “why are you still up?”
  • “i cant sleep”
  • “are you scared?”
  • his words shock you as quiet sobs escape your lips, he always knew what was wrong with you
  • Zen feels your body shake in his arms as he quickly moves to face you
  • he rocks you back and forth as he rubs your back
  • “whats scaring you MC? is it because I’m working more? I cant help if you dont tell me”
  • “i am even more scared to tell you..”
  • “nothing you will tell me can make me feel any different about you”
  • you decided its time your boyfriend knows the truth so you begin explaining what has been happening
  • his face is full of shock and you even feel like he might be scared of you
  • you look away as his hand holds your chin
  • “show me that handsome face”
  • you reluctantley look at him as he smiles at you
  • “we will get through this together, okay? everything I do from now on is going to be for you, MC”
  • although his schedule never gets any less busier, he will bring you along to whatever he has going on
  • he even brought you to an interview
  • like Jumin and Yoosung, he will go to therapy or help you get any medication if you are willing
  • he will call you in between breaks and any other spare time on set
  • when he’s home, he spends even MORE time with you before
  • he even tries to take showers with you now
  • he makes sure that any of his fans or others don’t ridicule you
  • which he doesnt have to worry about since you even have a spot in his fan club???


  • since she isnt very used to relationships, she finds it refreshing that she finally has someone who wants to be with her 24/7
  • Jaehee has noticed something unusual about your sleeping habits before but she never had the confidence to ask you
  • but it hasnt been very easy for you either
  • Jaehee is almost always gone since she is Jumin’s assistant
  • she’s either planning or running all across town for things
  • she talks to you on the phone as much as possible but the loneliness has been getting to you
  • that’s why it wasn’t long before Jaehee could tell
  • “are you eating enough MC?”
  • “yes, why?”
  • “you always look pale when I wake you up”
  • you couldnt have her worrying like this
  • she’s already stressed enough as it is
  • when she calls you to tell you “Mr.Han wants me to pick up Elizabeth the third, go ahead and go to sleep” you begin to panic
  • what if they are worse tonight? what if they are longer than usual?
  • you decide you wont sleep until she gets home
  • she finally comes in with Elizabeth around one in the morning
  • she is surprised to see you awake on the couch
  • “MC? what are you still doing up?”
  • she adds a small chuckle but you can tell she’s worried
  • “i just wasn’t able to sleep”
  • she cant handle it anymore and she plops down next to you before pulling you into a hug
  • “how come you never can sleep, MC? talk to me please”
  • her voice is very concerned and you sigh
  • “its fine now, lets just go to bed”
  • “MC, please. i want to help you”
  • her eyes look like she could cry and you feel like you’ve made her more stressed
  • you begin to tell her what’s been upsetting you and your sleeping habits and about your autophobia
  • “MC…i had no idea. I am so sorry MC”
  • she apologizes at least five times before you stopped her
  • “Jaehee, its okay. Its my fault for not telling you”
  • “But me working constantly probably made it worse”
  • after that, Jaehee calls Jumin and tells him the current situation
  • she begins working at home as much as possible and calls you more at work now
  • she researches the best therapist if you seek treatment
  • she constantly tells you how strong of a man you are incase you are feeling unsure of yourself
  • she also thanks you for making her a stronger and better person
  • you guys will share a cup of coffee in the morning before she leaves for work


  • this man rarely gets a break and you know it
  • even being in the same house as your boyfriend, you can still feel your autophobia eating away at you
  • the what ifs and how comes will be the death of you
  • because of his job he is constantly at home, but that doesn’t put your hallucinations or fear at bay
  • on some nights, it even heightens it
  • you know how understanding Seven would be of you, but there is still something saying what if he isn’t? what would happen then?
  •  he didn’t notice anything until you complained about hearing something that wasn’t there
  • you had a feeling it was just a hallucination but the voice was so chilling, you needed confirmation
  • Seven would get out of bed and search the house before coming back to you
  • “There’s no one here MC. Are you sure you heard someone?”
  • his face is very worried as you plant your head in his chest and begin whimpering with sobs
  • even though Seven broke down his emotional walls for you, this was one emotion you didn’t want him seeing
  • you promised to make him happy and how could you do that if you weren’t yourself
  • “Do you want me to check again?”
  • he asks before placing a kiss on his forehead
  • you clutch to his t-shit as you shake your head
  • “please..just hold me Saeyoung”
  • he listens and holds you through the rest of the night, not questioning you further
  • you guys don’t discuss it until it happens a few nights later, except this time you see a shadow
  • you squeeze your eyes shut and push your body into his
  • he jumps at the sudden contact and can tell something happened again
  • “what was it this time? did you hear it again? do you want me to go check MC?”
  • you stop him before he can get up and you explain why you hear things sometimes and why you see things
  • you tell him about the crippling fear you have that one day you will be completely alone
  • and you tell him that he has been helping you cope tremendously
  • he holds your cheeks in his hands as he stares at you
  • “I will never leave you MC, never. You hear me? You will never be alone. I’ve got you and I’m never letting you go. I will protect you”
  • after that, he will hold you closer in bed and if he wakes up and you moved away in your sleep, he will pull you back
  • even though you beg him not to, he will take breaks in between his work just to cuddle you or watch movies
  • if you seek therapy, like the others, will be completely behind you
  • but he will be sure to tell you that you aren’t a mistake or weird or messed up or broken because of your hallucinations
  • if you go places without him he will be texting you 24/7 and watching you through the cameras saying stuff like, “lolol, you look so cute MC” or “that guy looked at you a little too long” or “GRAB THE CAT AND RUN MC”
  • you have never felt so supported in your life
  • since Saeran lives with you guys, he lets him in on your hallucinations, in case he hears you crying while Saeyoung is gone
  • Saeran also helps you considerably while Saeyoung is away
  • he’s like a big brother to you
  • Seven builds robots to help you with your autophobia or hallucinations if him and Saeran are both out for the night (which is unlikely)
  • he thinks you are the best thing that has ever happened to him


  • you were there to help V with his eye surgery, but for some reason you felt like this was too much of a burden on him
  • he needed to be happy and you felt as if he didn’t deserve to deal with your problems, you felt he deserved better
  • V has already been through so much and you didn’t want to add to the sadness
  • since Rika was mentally ill, you knew he had an idea of how you might feel dealing with your hallucinations, but you also didn’t want to compare yourself to Rika or make him feel like you were
  • since he just got his surgery, he was constantly at home
  • Jumin actually had a maid drop off groceries all the time
  • everything was going okay until he mentioned traveling a couple weeks to get some new pictures ready
  • a couple weeks?!?
  • you couldn’t lose V, not now, not later
  • anytime he was on the phone about planning the trip, anticipation ate away at you
  • you were paralyzed by the fear of being alone for a couple weeks
  • but what if its more?
  • what if V goes and decides to stay?
  • what if he leaves for good?
  • the hallucinations were borderline unbearable
  • the slightest amount of sleep you had was attacked but shapes, voices, and touches
  • you tried to shut them out, you tried to squeeze your eyes shut but they continuously got worse
  • you laid in between your boyfriends legs as you struggled to keep your eyes open
  • “If you are that tired we can go to bed MC”
  • he laughed
  • you shook your head quickly and put your eyes back on the movie
  • V didn’t say anything but he seemed suspicious
  • a couple minutes and you were asleep
  • you felt arms wrap around your waist that weren’t your boyfriends, but a black shadow
  • you sat up quickly, looking around to see a disheveled V
  • was he asleep too?
  • “MC, what happened?”
  • he asked concerned as you shook your head and attempted to get up from the couch but V pulled you back onto him
  • “that wasn’t just nothing. you literally jumped off of the couch”
  • he smiled faintly as he moved pieces of hair from your face
  • “tell me what’s bothering you babe”
  • even in his concerned state he still remained calm and happy for you
  • “even if I told you nothing would change”
  • he was a little offended by your statement, although he wouldn’t show it, but he still smiled
  • “of course it would. I would help”
  • “I don’t think anything will help me..”
  • he’s a little thrown off by your dark mood suddenly and he sighs
  • “is it because I’m leaving on the trip MC? I wont go if you don’t want me to”
  • “if you don’t go then I will just be holding you back”
  • he literally scoffs/chuckles at your sentence
  • “don’t ever say that again, MC. okay? you will never hold me back and I hope you know that”
  • you nod slightly
  • “now tell me what is bugging you”
  • his face is truly concerned and you feel as if you owe it to him to explain
  • so you do
  • you tell him of all the nights that you have been getting better but how some nights are harder then others, you tell him how you are physically afraid to go to sleep sometimes, and the thought of him leaving you is unnerving
  • you wanted to leave the last part out but it was the truth
  • he had tears in his turquoise eyes and he pulled you tighter against his chest
  • “please don’t think I’d ever leave you, MC. you are the reason I am still alive so please, love yourself a little more for me, okay?”
  • he asked as you sniffled but nodded
  • “now. when have I ever left you?”
  • he asked again as you shrugged
  • “exactly, so why did you think that you weren’t coming with me on the trip?”
  • he raised an eyebrow as he began tickling your stomach
  • you bet your ass you went on the trip with him
  • after you guys get back he is still constantly by your side
  • he has a art show? you are there
  • he has an interview? you are there
  • he will never ever ever leave you
  • very into helping you getting therapy, if you seek, if not he makes sure you know you aren’t selfish for your choices
  • protective boyfriend mode activated
  • if you thought V wasn’t the protective type before, you do now
  • he gets anxious if anyone stares at you for too long
  • he loves the way you blush if he calls you handsome, my man, babe, etc.
  • very understanding, seriously, even if he hasn’t experienced it


  • I honestly don’t doubt he has had a couple of these, if not more
  • I read that the cause for these hallucinations are very unclear but I read that they can be traced back to drug abuse, when he was forced into, and mental trauma, which he was also forced into
  • I think he would be the most understanding tbh
  • he isn’t very outspoken with his emotions but he makes sure you know he loves you from the start
  • your autophobia is at an all time high with him
  • what if the people from Mint Eye try to take him back? what if he cant deal with all the stress and trauma and makes a life changing decision?
  • its little thoughts like those that keep you from ease
  • he knew something was up with you since you sometimes wake up panting, or you just shoot up, like him
  • although this isn’t something to be happy about, he feels like you can finally be someone to understand what he feels
  • it wasn’t long before he caught on
  • anytime you’d wake up suddenly, you’d turn away from him, almost pushing him away even
  • he hated it
  • he knew you probably were just scared but he hated feeling shut out, abandoned
  • especially by you, the only person he has ever romantically loved
  • one night he decided to ask you about it
  • you turned as he placed a hand on your shoulder, causing you to flinch
  • were you scared of him?
  • or scared of yourself?
  • “MC, what’s going on? that’s the third time this week”
  • he said as you tried to level your breaths
  • “just go back to bed, Saeran. I am okay”
  • he started getting angry
  • “you aren’t okay MC and I know it! why wont you just let me help you!”
  • he yelled, causing you to look at him
  • his eyes were bloodshot and he looked as if he was about to cry
  • “you are constantly pushing me away and I cant take it. I love you so much MC and I just want to be there for you”
  • he says, hovering over you as you look fearfully into his eyes
  • he has figured you out before you could figure yourself out
  • “I think we have the same thing…”
  • he explains, trying to help you open more, which it does
  • you see the desperate look on his face and you sigh
  • you tell him about the hallucinations that have haunted you ever since you could remember, you told him about your autophobia that gets worse and worse with ever scenario that you come up with, and most of all, you tell him how scared you are for him to see this side to you
  • you blush, covering your face as he grabs your hands and hold them above your face before placing a kiss on your lips
  • “I was right MC. you are just like me”
  • he faintly smiles
  • his anger from before turns into loving joy
  • he cant believe he has someone so caring, understanding, and bright as you
  • he shuts all of your scenarios up by greeting you with positive words ever morning
  • and Saeyoung is just like, “MC, WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BROTHER???”
  • you chuckle
  • you are happy to see this side of Saeran and you are even more happy that it was you who made it happen
  • he becomes 10000x more affectionate
  • he sneaks in hugs from behind, neck kisses, tickles, and everything in between like everyday now
  • he has no shame
  • he just wants you to know you aren’t alone
  • makes sure no one ever makes you feel uneasy
  • asks you 100 times before going somewhere
  • if you seek therapy, he will actually go with it and receive it himself as well
  • and even throw some couples therapy in there to help you two guys heal together


a/n: while this condition is no laughing matter, I enjoyed writing this for you anon and I hope you really enjoy it. PS, it took me three days to write this all :’), but I hope it was everything you wanted and more.

and pls don’t give up <3

anonymous asked:

Hello!! I hope you're having a great day today!! Could I please ask for a scenario where Tsukishima gets in a bad fight with his gf, but then they make up in the end and it's really fluffy? I need the angst and fluff in my life ;-;

would u look at that, i got carried away yet again. this is a real long one so pls sit down and grab some popcorn or smthn


She gasped in disbelief when she received the piece of paper from her teacher. 

“I-I failed?” She couldn’t believe her eyes. 

“I’m sorry, ___. You’re going to retake this test in order to receive a passing score for your final grades this term.” 

The day was not looking up for her. A cloud of darkness already came over her this morning when she found out that she had also failed her English exam. She never expected to fail her final exams, but now that it’s happened to her, she started feeling guilty for not studying harder and taking the exams seriously. 

“You failed?” Her boyfriend almost choked on his lunch from laughing so hard. 

“It’s not funny!” She playfully smacked his arm, then rested her head down on the table. 

“It kind of is when the exams were that easy. And you failed math as well?” He chuckled even more. 

She felt her whole face heat up. How can he be laughing at me right now? She thought to herself. She sunk low on her seat as she felt the shame loom over her. 

“You know, not everyone is as smart as you, Kei.” Her voice came out low out of embarrassment. Her mood has obviously changed, but naturally, Kei wouldn’t notice. 

“How sad, right?” She couldn’t believe how arrogant he was acting. She looked at him with her mouth slightly opened, feeling annoyed. 

“Will you at least help me?” She asked in a slightly harsh tone.

“Are you kidding? You got yourself in this mess, you find a way to fix it. I already told you to study harder. I’ve done my part.” Now she really felt angry at him. She stood up, taking her bag with her.

“Where are you going?” He asked with food still in his mouth.

“To find a way to fix this mess I’ve put myself into.” She responded with a mocking tone, rolling her eyes. 


“___!” She turned her head when she heard her boyfriend’s voice call out for her.

“Are you leaving already?” He jogged to where she was standing at the end of the hallway. 

“Yeah, just waiting for a friend.” She pushed herself off the wall where she was leaning against. 

“Oh, okay then. I’ll be off to practice now.” 

“Okay, do great.” When he saw that she was smiling, he felt relieved. 

He walked back down the hall away from her, to the gymnasium. He started feeling guilty after they had that little argument. He usually doesn’t notice whenever he’s offending others, especially if he doesn’t mean to. So when he saw that she got upset, he started to worry. He stopped in his tracks and put his fists to his side. I should go apologize to her. He thought to himself. Although he found it hard to say sorry, he didn’t want her to go home upset with him. He turned around and started walking back to where she was standing, but when he saw her walking with another guy beside her, he stopped. 


He couldn’t concentrate on anything for the rest of the day. During training, his receives were off, and all his blocks were weak. Ukai kept shouting at him, so he kept apologizing. Yamaguchi noticed, but pretty much everyone knew something was up. When the practice was over, he was the first one out the door. He couldn’t think straight, and he cursed at himself for it. 

“You’re just over thinking.” He whispered to himself. “She did say it was a friend. She could’ve meant a boy.” He sighed deeply and closed his eyes. He was laying in bed, consumed by his thoughts, when he finally decided to give text her. 

hey, you awake?

mhmm, just going through my math and english notes. you?

cant sleep. can’t believe you’re studying on a friday night.

well, the make up test is next saturday, so i’m studying as much as i can while i have time.

that’s good. did your friend walk you home?

um yeah, we hung out for a little while too

you two seemed like you were having fun. was he funny? 

what, did you follow us home or something? wow, this is pathetic, kei.

no, i didn’t but I’m glad I caught a glimpse of you two together. now i know what you’ve been up to.

you dont know anything, kei. stop texting me now, i’m off to bed. 

He removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. He felt so furious he almost threw his phone across the room. He instead took a deep breath in and laid back down as he exhaled. He slept with a frown on his face, his thoughts consuming him again. 


When he woke up that Saturday morning, he felt like there was a lump in his chest. He re-read his conversation last night with his girlfriend and started feeling guilty. Maybe they actually just hung out as friends. At least she had someone walk her home safely. He considered. That’s when he finally decided to do the best thing, and that was to apologize. After eating breakfast, he started getting ready to pay her a visit.
On the way to her house, he even picked up some flowers. He felt cheesy buying them, but he had a smile on his face. 

Sorry about last night. I love you.

He texted her before arriving at her house. When he got to her front steps, he rang the doorbell and hid the flowers behind his back. He waited a few moments before she finally opened the door. His mood immediately changed when he caught a glimpse of the same guy in her living room. 

“K-Kei.” She was obviously surprised. She followed his gaze and saw that he was staring at the guy. 

“No, it’s not what you think.” She started to explain, but he quickly cut her off.

“Who the hell are you?” He stepped inside, completely ignoring her. 

“Oh, listen-” He was startled by his voice, immediately standing up from the couch. 

“Kei, stop it!” She was able to stop him from his tracks.

“Please go.” Kei felt a little relieved when he saw that she wasn’t talking to him. 

“Okay, um, I’ll talk to you later.” He quickly got his backpack and headed for the door.

“No you won’t.” Kei responded, causing her to glare at him even more. 

When he was finally out the door, she quickly explained herself.

“Let me explain.” 

“Are your parents home?” He spoke in a quiet tone.

“No, they went out for a bit.”

“That’s just perfect, isn’t it?” He spoke sarcastically.

“It’s not what you think! Listen to me first will you?” He scoffed, walking over to place the flowers on the table. He turned around and leaned against it, crossing his arms. 

“We weren’t doing anything wrong, Kei.”

“Oh, please, it all makes sense. He walks you home, you two ‘hang out’ for a little while, and now you two are alone again. Were you even studying last night or were just talking to him again?” 

“You don’t know anything Kei! I was studying last night! Want to know why we’ve been hanging out a lot?” Her hands were in fists and her tone was harsh.

“Please, enlighten me.” He said, sarcastically.

“He’s tutoring me, okay! There, happy?” His face softened.


“Yes, I asked him to be my tutor because my own boyfriend just laughed at my face when I asked for help. I asked him because even though he’s smart, he doesn’t make me feel like I’m the stupidest person in the world.” Her voice cracked as a tear rolled down her cheek. 

“Why didn’t you just tell me he was tutoring you?” He started to walk towards her, he couldn’t stand seeing her cry.

“Because I knew you’d make fun of me even more.” She sniffed, wiping her tear stained cheeks.

“___.” He went in to wrap his arms around her but she held up her hands to stop him. 

“No, Kei, I can’t right now. Please just leave.” He looked at her with pain in his eyes. She ran upstairs and shut the door behind her. He was left standing there alone. 

He sighed and grabbed the bouquet of flowers from the table. He quietly made his way up the stairs, walking towards her room. He shut his eyes and balled his fists when he heard her crying from the other side of the door. 

“___?” He lightly knocked.

“Please open the door.” He was answered by her sobs which was slowly breaking his heart.

“Please.” He had his hand and forehead against the door. 

When he heard the door slowly unlock, he stood back up and waited for her to open it.

When he saw her tear stained cheeks and red eyes, he immediately walked in to embrace her. She sunk into the hug and started crying against his chest. 

“Please stop crying, ___. I hate seeing you like this. And I hate that I’m the one that caused you to be like this.” He hugged her tighter, stroking her head. 

“I’m sorry I’m such a jerk. I…” She pulled away from the hug and looked him in the eyes.

“Do I really… make you feel like that?” He asked. Her lips were trembling, and her throat was dry.

“Sometimes, yeah…” He then leaned down to give her a kiss on the lips. He noticed her breathing started to go back to its normal pace. 

“I am so sorry I’m such an awful boyfriend. I don’t even deserve you. You’re so good to me and I make you feel like this.” He frowned, pushing stray hair away from her face. 

“Do you still love me?” Her face softened when he heard him say those words.

“Of course I still love you, Kei. I always will.” He wrapped her arms around his waist. He pulled her in closer, feeling relief wash over him. 

“I don’t want him to be your tutor. I want to be the one to help you.”

“That’s all I ever wanted.” He mumbled against his chest. 

When they finally pulled away from the hug, he gave her the flowers he’s been holding.

“I got you these to apologize for last night’s argument. Now I think I need to go pick up another bouquet for this one.” 

“It’s okay. All I need is you, here, with me.” He smiled.

“I love you so much, ___.” He placed a kiss on her forehead, feeling the lump in his chest disappear. 

Truth or dare

Steve x reader

Prompt: “Kiss the person to your right.“

A/N:the reader has the ability to control plants and talk to animals. Also It’s not the same Rose as my other sorry but i dio like the idea of an OC named Rose but her superhero name is mother nature that can control the elements her speciality plants. Thoughts?? Also request are open!! I had a problem with my ask box but I think I fixed it so feel free to request things!


When you were younger you always loved plants, just nature in General. Your mom would always get angry with you because everyday youd bring home another animal begging to keep it. Most then likey the animal was a neighbors. Youd have to return them and apologize for the robbery. But if it was a stray youd start sobbing and throwing a fit. Youd say how upset it was and hungry so your mom would try and feed it but his was hard depending on the animal. Its not your fault someone couldnt take care on their pet alligator and let it loose in the creek behind your house. That was when your mom realised your gift. She wouldnt let you keep the gator but you found the correct home for it, for all the animals.

When you hit puberty you realised you didnt only have the ability to talk to animals but also plants. You could make them grow whenever you please. Your mother was hesitant at first but soon decided to try and help you learn more about what you could do. You spent most of your time training, you now basically have a forrest in your bedroom. Not that you were complaining.

You decided you should do good with your gift but not like most would assume. You helped farmers grow crops and make fruits and veggies for the homeless shelters. This became widely spread across your county. It felt really good to help. You were in newspapers and all over social media. This caught the eye of the one and only Nick Fury.

The day after he found you Phil Coulson was knocking on your door.


“I was thinking maybe a green suit? It fits the whole plant vib.” Tony said while typing your measurements into a tablet, you nodded not fully paying attention. You’re too focused on meeting the rest of the avengers. “But not Hulk green more of a light green. Thoughts?”

“I dont care as long as theres no stupid head gear or capes, fucking capes.” You mutter. You swirl on your chair trying to swish your hair around. Tony notices and rolls his eyes in response.

“I think thats all we need for now. Lets get you introduced to the gang.” He leads you into a common room where they all sit, you recognise they from TV, especially Steve.

“Everyone this is the Venus Fly Trap, Venus Fly Trap this is Everyone.” You frown and shake your head at the nickname. Everyone else just called you Rose, its basically replaced your actually name.

“Normally, people call me Rose.” You smile and shake Clint and Sams hand. Then Nat, she told you to call her that and Wanda. Then Bucky, who surprisingly smiled at you and Bruce. Then Finally Steve, you were most anxious to meet him.

“Nice to meet you.” His smile is warm and caring. He extends his hand for you to shake but you only stare until you blurt out, “Damn
, you’re a lot taller in person…and wider.” You realise you have thought out loud and a blush instantly rises to your cheeks. Stark makes a gagging noise and Clint mutters a comment you can’t quite make out. Steve smiles again and crosses his arms.

“I’m hoping thats a good thing?” He questions while raising a brow. You nod.

“Well, you’re still as gorgeous as ever.” You cringe hoping to stop the word vomit that is happening because of him.

“This got very awkward very fast. Nat, Can you show Rose to her room?” Tony interrupts. She nods and turns in the direction of the elevator, you follow and look at the ground hiding your embarrassment.


Its been a month now. You and Nat have became really close along with Wanda. They were the only two that knew you liked Steve, well you made it kind of obvious so everyone else probably did as well. You havent talked to Steve much since the word vomit, you were much too embarrassed to face him. Whenever you did speak to him you would become discombobulated and stutter a lot more then you should and then use sarcasm to cover it up, which Stark enjoyed. He has trying multiple occasions to ask you out but you were oblivious and thought you was joking or just trying to be friendly.

 Everyone saw the obvious connection, Nat and Clint even had a bet going on when you two would get together. Tony planned a game night for tonight, saying how they need a relaxation night. After a round of Uno and a few rounds of cards againist humanity. It started to get boring after an hour or two, you werent really keeping track you were to focused on the blonde across the table. You would sneak glances every once and awhile, trying to make sure no one else saw.

 “Lets play truth or dare.“ Tony says with a mischievous look in his eyes. Everyone groans but still end up sitting in a circle. Tony claps his hands loudly making the room fall silent. “I’ll take the honor of going first.” He scans the room, deciding who his victim is, his eyes land on you as a smirk appears on his face. 

 “Rose, truth or dare?” You ponder it for a second, whenever you played this game in, last time it was the fifth grade, you always pick truth. You were different now than then, it was time to pick a different answer. “Truth.” you return the smirk and Nat sends a look saying, “you’re screwed.” You knew you were with either answer you picked. 

 “I dare you to put a rose in the person you likes hands, no thorns of course.” You move your hands, a green light illuminate from your fingers. A small pink rose appears in Nats hands matching the blush on her cheeks. Tony scoffs and rolls his eyes dramatically. “Fine, but Ill get you next time.” He jokingly glares at you which you smirk. You could do this all night. The night continued until it was Tonys turn again. You knew what would happen, He’d pick you and want you to show your feelings for Steve, you werent letting that happen. 

Tony scanned the group of heroes trying to decide who to pick, his eyes landing on you once more but he doesnt say anything only smirks and quickly adverts his eyes to the red headed assassin. “Nat, truth or dare?” His eyes had a look in them you couldnt quite make out. Nat was thinking, probably deciding which to pick, she always ends up picking dare.

 “Dare.” You called it. Tony acts like hes thinking about it and then sticks his finger in the air. “Kiss the person to your right.” Her eyes go wide knowing whos next to her. Steve. She shakes her head no and flips Tony off. Steve looks kind of hurt but then covers it up with a laugh.

 “You know I cant do that.” She glares, leaning back againist the coffee table and crossing her arms. “And why is that?” Tony knows what he’s doing. You feel heat rush up your cheeks but not from embarrassment like normal but from anger.

 A vine starts to grow from in between the crack of the floor and wraps around Tonys head, covering his mouth. He looks alarmed as does everyone else. I feel tear prick my eyes from embarrassment and regret. I release the vines from Tony and stand up, wobbling a bit, normally I brush it off but this feels different. Like a pit in my stomach. I run down the hall, only tripping once, to my room. I tell FRIDAY to not let anyone in, but with in 10 minutes theres a knock at the door.

 "Captain Rogers wishes to come in.“ FRIDAY says, I dont respond, I only hide my face in my hands. Steve finally gets in. "Are you okay?” He questions, his hand on my back, rubbing it slightly. I finally raise my head, rubbing my eyes. 

“Yeah, I guess I just dont deal with jealousy well.” I admit, I know where this will head. Most likely with me admitting my feelings for him, if I didnt already. He smiles, his eyes filled with kindness.

 "Jealousy?“ He actting as if he has no clue but we both know he does. He sucks at lying. "Yeah, a common emotion. Normally associated with romantic feelings. I hope he gets the hint, I really dont want to have to spell it out for him. 

"Do you happen to have romantic feelings?” Hes got to be kidding me.

 "No shit sherlock.“ I say not able to look at him, fear of drowning in the sea that is his eyes. He grabs my chin, forcing me to look at him, he has a huge smile on his face. Our lips meet and a fire inside my stomach goes crazy. Its almost as if this is what Ive been missing all my life. The kiss deepens and my hands find the back of his neck. His arms are around my waist until theres giggles at the doorway. Steve didnt shut the door so standing there is a giggling Tony and Sam and a smirking Nat with Clint behind her. 

 "Get a room!” Tony says almost yelling because of his laughter. I chuckle at his expression. 

 "We do have one but it looks like some nosy teenagers have stumbled upon it and were enjoying the show. But if you excuse us, the curtains are now closing.“ I get up and shut the door, only to be left with Steve and the groans from Tony and Sam.

Yakulev for georgieporgiepuddininpie because the Nekoma ova made me miss the Haikyuu kids so much and I love Lev.  Also height differences.

It was a normal, unremarkable day during a completely average practice at Nekoma High when Haiba Lev had a life-altering realization. He’d just missed maybe the tenth receive in a row and Yaku-san was lecturing him to ‘watch his form’ and ‘stop getting distracted’ and ‘try and not to let the ball connect with his face’ when it hit him-

Yaku-san was cute- like really super cute; especially when he scrunched up his nose because he was frustrated with Lev for not listening to him.  Yaku-san was friendly, and, sure, a little stern half the time, but Lev really liked him.

Like, like liked him, that is.

Keep reading

DADDY’S HERE (Andy Biersack Imagine)
{Requested by anon :3}

It was midnight, and although you were supposed to be sleeping, you were outside on your porch waving goodbye to your rock star father Andy.
It was always so hard watching him leave for tour, it was even harder to deal with the fact that he went on tour quite often. You never really saw your father as much as you wanted to, there would even be days where you would wake up in the morning, rush downstairs, and instantly become dissapointed to not see Andy there to say good morning princess to you.
But sadly you were used to it, you were used to not seeing him, you were used to being dissapointed…and sad.
Andy finished up putting all of his things inside the bus, the bandmates waving at you with a huge smile, you replied with a wave in return, but your smile was fake, after all your only family was going away for a very long time. It almost seemed as if you didnt even have a dad, thats how long he would be gone.

Andy approached you with watery eyes and a loving smile. Saying goodbye to his baby girl wasnt exactly easy for him either.
As soon as you glanced at his glassy blue eyes, you felt your eyes becomming watery as well.
“Dad come on, dont make this harder than it is.” You begged him, looking down.
He lifted your head back up and you were looking at him once again.
“Sorry its just…I hate this.” he muttered.
You nodded agreeing, “Same here. But you dont want to dissapoint your fans…”
“Im gonna miss you kiddo.”
“I miss you already dad.” you tell him. He leaned down and placed a sweet kiss upon your forehead, you quickly stood up and hugged him real tight.
You let a tear go down your cheek but immediately wiped it off so he wouldnt notice.
“I love you sweetheart.”
“Love you too…”
The two of you leaned away, after he promised to keep in touch with you everyday, he went inside the bus and watched you through the window as if took off.

As soon as you watched it dissapear you went back inside your house. Caren, your caretaker was already sleeping on the couch, you placed a blanket over her and went upstairs to your bedroom.
Since you couldnt sleep, you got out your diary from your drawer and flipped through it until you got a clean page.
You got one of your favorite pens and began to write these words,
“Dear diary, my father Andy just left once again for tour, I know I should be understanding because he is a big time rock star, not to mention the lead singer of his famous band, but I cant help but feel so heartbroken whenever I watch him leave me. Just the thought of not seeing him for such a long time kills me, I never see him anymore, and when he is here he has to go to work with his band most of the time.
I dont have my mother, and now it seems like I dont have my father either. Im alone, I feel so alone, being in this house is like being a small fish in the huge pond with no other fish to swim with, this feeling of lonliness kills me…In fact…it makes me want to kill myself, I cant take the sadness of being by myself and feeling so lost with no one to save me. My heart is broken, and now it’s going to feel shattered, because Im aware of when I wake up…no one will be there, no one but my caretaker Linda, no parents, no siblings, no family, and I honestly do not know how long I can stand that…”

Those were the last words you wrote, tear drops crashing on the now inked up paper, making water spots and making a little of the fresh ink smuge. But you didnt care, you flipped through the other written pages, almost all of them had tear stains and smuged black ink, you became amazed at how much you cried of lonliness.
And that was exactly what you wanted to do right now, was just cry, deep down you wanted to stay strong, but your tears wouldnt let you.
They were already forcing themselves out of you, you laid your head on your desk and just cried until you fell asleep.
The next morning, you were woken up by a knock at your door, “Hm?” you mumbled, slowly picking your head up off the desk and wiping the druel away from your mouth with the back of your hand.
You heard the knock again, “Whaat?” you whined.
“(Y/N)? sweetheart come downstairs I got breakfast ready for you and its noon already.” Notified Caren.
“You rubbed your eyes that burned from so much crying and shook your head,
"I dont want to eat Caren.” you sternly responded.
“But you must be hungry.”
“I really am not, please leave me alone.”
“Caren!! I said I dont want to eat okay?!” you yelled irritated.

There was a long pause for a moment, “Okay…sorry.” she muttered and walked away.
You sighed feeling bad, but you shook it off and just sat at your desk massaging your head.
Days had passed and you became more and more miserable, there was not one night when you didnt go to sleep with sadness in your heart.
It was so horrible that you couldnt see videos of your dad and his band on youtube without feeling a huge lump on your throat.
You never left your room unless it was to go to the bathroom or take a shower and brush your teeth, Caren was beginning to worry a lot about you, she had seen you this way before but never this bad. You stood up and went into the hallway, on your way to the bathroom, Caren stopped you from walking any further,
“What is it?” you asked a little annoyed.
“(Y/N) what is going on with you? you and I used to get along so well and now it seems like you hate me, you want to tell me whats going on?”
“Nothing is going on caren, and I dont hate you.”
“Then why wont you ever come out of your room, and why havent you stopped crying.”
You looked down then back up at her again, “You just wouldnt understand okay.” She didnt know what to say, things became quiet again, you walked passed her locked yourself in the bathroom.

Caren sighed and ran her fingers through her hair, she glanced inside your room since you had left your door open, the first thing she noticed was your open diary on your desk, as she walked inside she picked it up and read the very last page that was written.
Her eyed widend in horror as she read every heart aching word you had written.
Her fingers traced he tear stains that sat upon the page, she absolutely couldnt believe what she was reading. She was wondering for a very long time why you were being the way you were, but now she got her clear answer.
You missed your father deeply.
Caren suddenly flinched when she heard the phone ringing downstairs in the living room.
She rushed as fast as she could and answered, luckily the person she wanted to talk to was on the other line.
“Hello?” She greeted in a low and sad tone.
“Caren, hey its Andy.”
Her eyes widend, “Andy wow, didnt think we would hear from you this soon.”
“Yeah me either, but Im glad I was able to get a hold of you. How’s (Y/N) doing? is she there?”
She hesitated and took a deep breath before speaking, “Uh…Andy…there’s something you should know about your daughter…”

The next morning, you were sound asleep in your bedroom, your eyes puffy from so many tears that came out of them, suddenly, you felt a gentle hand stroke your hair, you thought it was Caren, but as you slowly opened your eyes, a pair of blue ones were looking down upon you with warmth and so much love.
You jumped up, immediately feeling wide awake, was it a dream? were you really seeing your father sitting on your bed or did you miss him so much that youre just seeing things now?
“Dad?” you whispered.
“Yeah honey its me.” he assured you.
You rubbed your eyes to clear your blurry vision, “The hell? what are you even doing home?”
Andy looked down at his knees, he looked like he wanted to speak but he just didnt know how to even start.
“What is it?” you questioned very confused.
“(Y/N), howcome you never talked to me about this?” he asks holding up your diary.
Your mouth dropped open, you couldnt believe he found out about that, you snatched it away from his hands and held it close to your fast pumping chest.
“How did you find out about this? Ive kept this hidden.”
“I called last night, and caren answered, and I couldnt believe what she told me so I rushed here as fast as I could.”
“Well I dont exactly like the idea of my daughter wanting to kill herself because of me!!”

There was a moment a silence for a good while, you didnt know what to say, it was as if the words couldnt form inside your mouth, Andy didnt know what to speak either, but his eyes did all the talking for him.
The words he yelled mustve stung him pretty badly, because his eyes were now filling up with tears, just like yours has been for a very long time.
“Dad…come on Im sorry.”
“No..Im sorry….I didnt know me leaving would affect you like this…but Im an idiot because I shouldve known how hard it is for you to be by yourself for such a long time.”
“Dad no please dont blame yourself…"you begged, your hand rubbing his shoulder.
"I just cant..my little girl thinking about suicide oh God…” His hands covered his face, his fingers grabbing his smooth black hair.
A tear ran down your soft face, you felt bad for having him know about your thoughts, but at the same time, they are your feelings, you cant help that.
“(Y/N) Please talk to me about these things dont keep them to yourself and give me a fake smile.”
“Theyre not exactly things I want to tell you dad.”
“I know that but, its because of me youre feeling this way.”
You shook your head, “No, its not because of you in general its just because…youre the only family Ive got dad, and being all alone isnt fun at all…and…oh God I dont know how to explain all this. Im just being selfish.”
Andy pulled you to him and held you close, “I understand there’s no need for you to explain, Youre the only family I have too, youre my daughter, and I wont leave you anymore, atleast not for a long time, but dont leave me by taking away youre own li…”

You hugged him tighter, “Dad Im so sorry, Im sorry for having those thoughts, I wont have them anymore I was just feeling lonely.”
“Honey I dont ever want you to feel that way again you hear me?”
You nodd, “Yeah….”
He felt his shirt becomming a little wet, then he heard you sniffing hard and huffing, your body trembling, your hands grabbing his leather jacket, you were sobbing worse than a five-year-old, He held you tighter than ever and stroked the back of your head, petting your soft hair.
The two of you figured that there was no need for talking, the only thing there was need of was love, care, compassion, the love of a father for his beloved daughter, his little girl, his baby, his princess.
He just sat there and let you have a good cry in his arms, it kind of reminded him of when you were just a little a newborn baby, the first time he carried you, you cried the same way you were crying now. And all he could remember was telling you the words “Its okay, daddy’s here.”
And as he kept you in his arms, he spoke those same exact words…
“Shhh…Its okay…daddy’s here…”

(Father, Daughter Love :))

Chapter TwentyTwo


Its been three days since Jeremiah has come over with his theory, meaning Ive been living in fear and hope for three days. Not only that but the day after J told us,  Ty woke up in a Manic episode. The realization that his son could be alive finally hit him and he’s been black ever since.

Thankfully it wasn’t a raging episode, instead he was silent, withdrawn and just completely empty and although he wasn’t causing havoc we decided to still sedate him so that when he does wake up he will no longer be black, we needed him in his right mind when we go down to the orphanage.

My head has been all over the place and while Tyson sleeps his life away due to the sedatives, I have barely been able to get 3 hours of sleep a night.  If that wasn’t bad enough, I think the fact that I could hardly keep any food down should top it off.

Briana and Jas blamed it on the fact that I could be pregnant but after a number of home pregnancy tests that came out negative that theory was thrown out the window. We all knew it was all nerves and fear that made me feel sick constantly but I think the girls and I were just looking for a excuse other than the fact that I physically sick because my son might be alive after all this time.

It was Tuesday morning and we had a appointment with the head lady of the orphanage today at 2pm. Ty still hasn’t woken up even though he should have by now and I was getting more nervous by the second. Not having the support of Tyson these past few days has made this a whole lot shitter and I was now regretting ever agreeing to sedating because I would have rather Manic Ty over passed out Ty right now.

It didn’t take me long to get ready as I wasn’t in the mood for dolling up or trying to impress anyone so once I settled with a casual outfit, I kissed Tysons warm cheek before turning the light off and making my way downstairs where Jasmine and Jeremiah were hanging out in the lounge room.

They both have been sleeping here since they came over and although I enjoy my alone time, I was so thankful that they had insisted on staying here with us because I dont know what I would have done without their support these few days.

Jas had some how convinced me to finally leave the house and go with her to get our hair, brows and nails done as I wanted to look my best for this appointment with the orphanage. I know it may sound silly but if our son was some how still alive I wanted to at least look half decent for when I saw him for the first time.

Just in case Tyson woke up while we were out, Jeremiah decided to stay home because Ty would need someone who could handle him and someone who he trusts so that they could explain and make sure he stays calm. Who better than Jeremiah to do so?

“Im ready”, I sigh as I sluggish walk past J and Jas and towards the couch that my bag and keys were currently sitting on, “Call me if Ty wakes up? Ill come straight back”, I mumble to J as he sent me a sad smile before standing up and engulfing me in a brotherly bear hug.

“You are too young to be stressing and going through so much Nala. Everything will work out, okay?”, He muttered lowly while placing a kiss on top of my head causing tears to swell in my eyes.

“Promise?”, I whisper as I just so wanted some kind of reassurance that for once in my life things weren’t such a heartache , “I promise”, He nodded although as he said it both he and I knew that he couldn’t promise such a thing and he only said it because we both needed to just hear it for now.

“Lets go sweetheart”, Jas said softly as J and I pulled away and linked my arm with Jasmines awaiting one, “Don’t forget to look after Mason”, I quickly  said over my shoulder causing J to chuckle as he shook his head and looked down at a tiny Mason who was rubbing his head on J’s foot, trying to get some attention. Four days and that kitten was already spoilt as hell and now required all attention after I babied him so much.

The drive to the store only took us less than 15 minutes and thankfully because it was so early in the morning the shops weren’t busy, therefore we were able to secure a chair each right away and begin with a manicure and pedicure first.

Picking out a pretty pale pink color for my nails, I let out a sigh as I relaxed my shoulders and rested my head back against the headrest, “I know the purpose of leaving the house today was so we can not think about the whole thing and you can tell me to shut up if you want?”, Jas hesitantly asked causing me to lift my head a little as I looked over to my right side where she was currently receiving the same treatment.

“Its okay, go ahead”, I smiled softly as I knew she has been trying her hardest not to step on any eggshells which I appreciated, but I think it was about time I finally spoke to someone about it.

“Have you thought about what Tyson may be like with a child in the picture? I mean do you think he will change”, She asked as the two Chinese ladies attending to us began gossiping lowly in their own language.

“You know I always thought that if Ty has a child he would suddenly become the perfect person? But the thing is I don’t know if I would be okay with that, I love him the way he is”, I blurted out and as soon as it left my lips I realized how ridiculous that may sound but Jas being the understanding person she was she just smiled, “That’s understandable”, She nodded as if my fucked up state of mind was a normal thing.

“You do realize I sound ridiculous right?”, I chuckled causing her to laugh softly before shifting in her seat so she was sitting a little more up right, “I mean sure, small minded people may think that is ridiculous before they cant imagine anything less than perfect. They believe things should be a certain way, no less and no more”, She explained as she sparked up my interest in her logic.

Taking a sip of my star bucks iced chocolate that we had gone and purchased before arriving at the nail place, I licked the chocolate off my lips and waited for Jas to continue.

“For instance, Love.  On average people believe, girl meets boy they become friends, leads to flirting, feelings develop, boys takes girl on date, wines and dines her, sexual intercourse follows, girl falls in love with her ‘prince’ charming, boy finds ‘wife’ material, they date a few years, get engaged, married than kids. See? Simple, straight forward and predictable”, She explains as I nod although I know for a fact my face is showing I was confused as hell.

“I get what you’re saying but I don’t get what that’s got to do with me not wanting Ty to change?”, I explained causing her to grin as she tucked in a few curls behind her ear.

“What Im saying is you are NOT a small minded person. You fell in love a entirely different way and you fell in love with a person who is certainly not average. Meaning you didn’t fall in love with your typical prince charming, instead you fell in love with the devil and that’s okay, that’s okay because no matter what you guys love each other more than life itself and no matter how hard you guys fight it, hide it or try to run away from it, you will ALWAYS find your way back to one another”, She rushed out before holding up her finger to signal to wait a minute as she grabbed her drink and gulped a few mouth fulls down before continuing, 

“So what Im trying to get at is that, its okay you don’t want him to change and be the ‘perfect man’, because that’s not who you fell in love with. You fell in love with the angry, aggressive, manic Tyson and that’s the Ty your going to love the most, no matter what”, She sighed out a little breathless causing me to chuckle as I nodded my head in understanding just as the lady instructed me to go into the back room for my eyebrow waxing.

Smiling softly at Jasmine, I started to make my way but Jas quickly placed her hand on my arm, stopping me in my tracks, “Just remember Nala, people might not understand, you know that type of love, but it doesn’t mean its not right or that its not okay because it is. Its perfectly fine to fall in love with someone because of their demons and flaws, it just means you have accepted ALL of the person completely and those few who are fortunate to find love like that are the luckiest ones in the world”, She said softly before winking as she stood up and followed her lady down the hall.

Letting out a breathless sigh, I followed behind my lady as I smiled at the feeling of having a weight lifted off my shoulders and found myself being led too a nice relaxing room that had scented candles lit up and low meditation music playing. Laying on the bed, I closed my eyes and took advantage of the quiet time as I reflected on what Jas had just preached. She was right as always, even if Ty did change into a better man I don’t think I could ever love that side of him the way I love the devil side, I mean that is who I fell in love with.

Not only was she right about that but she was also right about people not understanding. If I was to explain that to anybody else they would most likely suggest I check into a mental hospital and seek out some sort of help. I sometimes barely understand how loving someone like this even exists so imagine trying to get a outsider to understand or comprehend it.

I believed Ty would be a good father, a great father even but I knew for a fact that he will mess up and make mistakes but I don’t expect anything less because all people do. I knew his manic episodes won’t just suddenly go away as well and I also knew that his black heart wouldn’t color from parenthood either, but what I did know was that, even though his heart would remain black, it would grow in size and too me that was more than enough.

Wincing while I bit down on my lip, I tried my hardest to ignore the pinching and pulling of the wax and tweezers while mentally cursing the pain us women went through just to look decent. Relived when the lady told me my brows were done, I muttered a thank you while checking them out In the mirror and couldn’t help but smile at the good job the lady had done.

Escorting me back into the main floor of the beauty shop, I found Jas sitting in our original spot having her nails finished off while she scrolled through her phone, “Why couldn’t we be blessed with permanently perfect eyebrows?”, I complained as I took a seat and placed my hands on top of the table so she could finish them off.

“Tell me about it girl, Im not one to complain but I mean its bad enough we bleed from our vaginas once a month, could we not at least get a break with all the unnecessary hair?”, She sighed dramatically causing me to cringe at her description of periods while our nails technicians looked mortified as they began whispering lowly in Chinese .

“And don’t forget its us carrying the kids for 9 months and giving birth”, I added as Jas nodded her head In agreement before the sound of her iphone interrupted our little rant.

Looking down at the phone, she answered the call while quickly mouthing the name ‘Jeremiah’ and turned her attention to whatever he was saying through the phone.

By the time she hung up, the ladies had finished our nails and we were now getting up to go and pay for our pampering before we headed a few stores down to where our hairdressers were, “All good?”, I asked Jas as I handed the cashier money for my nails and brows as well as a nice tip.

“Yea he was just checking in and was just saying that Ty is slowly waking up”, She explained as she paid for herself and held the door open so we could make our way out.

“What do you mean slowly waking up? Do we need to go back?”, I suddenly asked as worry started to bubble but Jas shook her head as she smiled as she wrapped her arm around my shoulder and began to lead me down the sidewalk.

“Will you please calm down? J means that his waking up and falling back asleep, the sedative is just wearing off so he will be in and out of sleep for a few hours so we still have time to get our hair done”, She assured causing me to sigh in relief just as we pushed the hair dressers door opened and stepped inside.

We were attended too immediately and I couldn’t help but think that the only reason we had been getting fast service and special treatment was because we were basketballers girlfriends, sue to the fact that they put us before 5 already waiting customers who didn’t look the least bit impressed.

Once they had wash our hair as well as giving us bomb ass head massages, we were seated next to each other and the hairdressers began to work their magic on our curl messes that we called hair.

“If he is alive what if he doesn’t like us?  I mean the only thing that’s been running in my head is his reaction because I know it would hurt so bad if he didn’t like us”, I suddenly blurted out feeling my cheeks burn with embarrassment at the silly confession.

“The only advise I could offer you with that is be prepared for him not knowing you guys, he was a few weeks old the last time he saw you so he obviously wont remember you. As for not liking you? I highly doubt it Nala, the child is barely 2 years old I don’t think he has it in him to not dislike people”, She assured me causing me to instantly feel better although I knew there was differently a small chance Isaiah could not like us no matter what age he was.

We spent a good 2 and a half hours at the hairdressers and after sitting there and chatting with Jas about almost every possibility that could happen this afternoon, I felt some what better as the feel of being prepared ran through me.

“Thank you so much for today, you have no idea how much it has helped”, I smiled at Jas as we got out of the parked car and met half way so we could embrace in a hug, “Your very welcome sweetheart and just know Lani no matter what the outcome is today, you and Ty always have each other”, She whispered in my ear as I hugged her back.

“I don’t think Ive ever told you but J is really lucky to have you Jas and he knows it too”, I winked as I linked my arm with hers and led her towards my front door as she grinned while trying to hide her blush caused by my statement.

As soon as we stepped inside I knew Tyson was awake and I also knew that he was on complete edge without even having to see or speak to him. Taking a deep breath, Jas and I made our way through the foyer and down the hall towards the kitchen where smashed alcohol bottles decorated the counter tops while the substance ran down the walls and onto the floor.

Tapping my shoulder, I turned my attention to Jas only to find her pointing out the large glass doors that led to the backyard. There sitting on a chair was Tyson who was puffing on a cigarette as some guy cut his hair while J sat in front of him as they spoke.

Mushing my eyebrows together I looked back over at Jas who shrugged her shoulders and re linked her arm with mine and began leading us out to the glass doors.

The guy cutting Tysons now very short, next to nothing hair, began dusting off Ty’s shoulders before switching off his clippers and allowing Ty to stand up as he ran his hand up and down his head with a satisfied look across his face.

“Damn I aint hear yall pull up”, Jeremiah suddenly spoke up causing my gaze to break from Tysons form as I looked over at J who was grinning with pride as he looked over jasmines appearance, “You like it?”, She chuckled as she ran her fingers through her now bone straight hair that was once a curly mane we were all so use too.

“Hell yea, you look beautiful either way barbie”, He grinned as he stood up and pulled her into a hug just as Ty dapped his hairdresser while slipping him some notes. “What happened in the kitchen?”, I hesitantly asked as Ty reached in his pocket and pulled out a new cigarette just as J dapped the hair dresser before he disappeared around the side to get to his car that I had noticed in the driveway when we pulled up.

“Was thirsty”, Ty mumbled lowly as he lit his cigarette and turned his chair around so it was now facing the water. Taking a seat on it he leant his elbows on his knees and placed his chin in one hand while the other flicked his zipper lighter on and off, repeatedly.

“Your not manic anymore”, I said brightly, trying to lighten his mood but the way his jaw suddenly clenched tightly I knew it wasn’t the best choice of topic at the moment, “You mean I aint a psycho at the moment”, He chuckled humorlessly before sitting up and stretchin out in his chair so he could tilt his head to the side and send me a mocking smirk to anger me which he did so effortlessly.

I hated him this way the most because he wasn’t in a manic episode therefore I had nothing to blame his angry demotic self on and instead had to accept the fact that sometimes he was naturally just a plan prick.

“Have I ever told you that you can be a complete cunt sometimes?”, I asked bluntly causing him to bust up in laughter as I stood there mugging him while J and Jas looked torn between laughing or keeping a straight face.

Deciding to play his little games, I turned my back on him knowing it would annoy him and put my attention on Jeremiah, “So why did this idiot trash my kitchen?”, I asked causing him to sigh as he knew I was stirring Ty up which was never a good thing but I couldn’t help but toy with him when he was in his mean ass moods.

“What I just say? I was thirsty”, Ty interrupted as his laughter turned into a annoyed tone which only caused me to chuckle lowly, “He tried to drink, than I reminded him he gotta give 100k to charity and next thing you know bottles went flying”, J explained causing me to sigh as I rolled my eyes.

“Hope you don’t think I’m cleaning it up nigga, lost your damn mind if you think Imma be your maid”, I egged on as I turned my attention back onto Ty who was now eyeing me out with a frown on his handsome face, “Mouth gonna get you in trouble one of these days”, He muttered while shaking his head before shrugging his shoulders at J who was mugging him with a raised eyebrow.

“Upstairs. Lets go”, I ordered as I started getting tired of this little back and forth with him. Today was not the day for attitude and petty fights over nothing, we needed each other more than ever before and I was literally ready to beat the attitude out of him if I needed too.

“As much as I like to fuck, I aint feeling it”, Ty smugly replied causing me to clench my jaw as I refrained from punching him in the face, lucky for him though he realized I was seconds away from losing it so to avoid a blood bath he stood up while chuckling and patted J’s back as he began to make his way to the door.

“Take it from me man, stay single forever. They aint nothing but a pain in the mother fucking ass!”, He yelled while laughing as we all just shook our head at his antics and watched him stumble up the stairs.

“Im gonna see if I can knock him out of this mood, if not I don’t think it would be wise to bring him along”, I sighed causing J to frown as he shook his head, “Nala, mood or not that’s his kid too he deserves to be there no matter what. Don’t take that away from him”, J mumbled causing Jas to nod her head in agreement as I sighed.

“Your right, lemme go work on him”, I mumbled tiredly as I made my way inside and up the stairs towards our bedroom where I could hear Tyson singing  ‘All I want for my birthday is a big booty hoe’, at the top of his lungs.

Rolling my eyes as I entered the bedroom, I found him stretched out across our cali king bed with a cigarette still in his mouth as he continued to sing while looking up at the ceiling.

Slipping my shoes off, I shut the door and dimmed the lights before crawling on the bed and taking the smoke out of his mouth causing him to instantly suck his teeth as he lifted his head and mugged me while watching me put it out in the astray he had on his bedside table.

“Why are you acting like this?”, I mumbled softly as I crawled back over to him and curled into a ball at his side. Instead of answering me he decided to change up the song and began singing, ‘I love bad bitches that’s my fucken problem and yea I like to fuck that’s my fucken problem’, over and over again while I just closed my eyes and let out a sigh before a idea came to mind.

Ignoring his singing, I sat up and crawled over to my side of the bed and cuddled the pillow as I kept my back to Ty while my eyes roamed the ocean view from my side of the bed.

“You know the first time I ever saw him, I thought I had died and gone to heaven. I swear he was that perfect’, I said softly immediately noticing his singing coming down a few volumes meaning I had caught his interest.

“He looked just like you, pouty lips, button nose, long lashes and he even had your freckles. Wanna know why I love your curls so much?”, I asked although not waiting for a answer I continued as his singing died down a little more and the feel of him getting closer to me was getting stronger by the second, “Because when he was born he had the exact same mass of brown curls on his tiny head”, I laughed softly as the memory played in my head.

By now his singing had completely stopped and my back was pressing into his chest as he hesitantly wrapped his arm around my waist while hiding his face in the mass of my straight hair.

“It was like God sent me the perfect gift of you and all I could think was did he just have your looks or was the similarities deeper?”, I hesitantly said causing him to tense up almost instantly, confirming my suspicions from the moment I walked into the house.

“Your worried his Manic aren’t you?”, I whispered softly just as his breathing got deeper and his arms around me got tighter, his way of saying yes without words.

“We’d still love him just as much sweetheart, no matter what he’s our son, a part of you and I put together and manic or not, he is the most perfect gift you have ever given me”, I whispered as I felt a stray tear roll down my cheek just as Ty placed a kiss on the back of my neck, his hold never loosening for a second.

He was acting out because he was scared. Scared that if his son was alive there was a possibility that he too could be manic and I knew Tyson thought of his mental illness as a curse and would never want someone he loves to live through it.

To Ty, he was the devil himself and the very thought that his son, the one being that in his mind was the perfect gift, could have bipolar because of him hurt more than anything else and the fact that he thinks it is his fault made matters worse.

So to hide the fear, he does what he always does when things are tough, he simply doesn’t care. Its like his mind has a switch button that he literally can turn his emotions off and on and when the going gets tough he switches it off and heartless Tyson comes out to play.

“Can you promise me something?”, He suddenly mumbled in my hair causing me to instantly start nodding because he and I both knew Id promise and do anything for him, “If his alive and one day I fall into a manic episode, don’t let him see me like that, okay?. I never want him to witness that side of me Lani”, He muttered in a strained voice, which seemed to make my chest feel heavy and tears to escape my eyes.

“I promise baby”, I whispered as I lifted his hand that was resting around my stomach and pulled it up to my lips where I placed a kiss on it before wrapping his arm back around me and holding him closer to me.


Nalani, Ty, Jeremiah and Jasmine all sat in silence as the black SUV headed down the highway and towards the orphanage where they would once and for all find out if baby Isaiah was indeed still alive and living there for the past two years. Though the silence was suffocating and the four friends were all visibly on edge as they impatiently waited for the car to arrive at the destination.

After the heart felt one on one Lani and Tyson had, no other words were uttered from Tysons mouth and the group of friends made sure their concerns were shown and even went as far as bringing sedatives as well as having Brock tag along.

Though it was not Tysons intentions of worrying his fiancée, he simply couldn’t fathom any words as his mind was racing a mile a minute and his only focus was trying to control his raging manic side from coming out.

This was a moment Tyson would always remember, whether good or bad and he couldn’t afford to fall into a manic stage as his memories would be lost with the episode and that was the last thing he wanted.

Now he was torn between, excitement, sadness, worry, fear and most of all anger that he had already killed Nalani’s mother. His only regret was that he didn’t make her pay enough for all the grief she had caused both Lani and himself.

Lani’s hands began to sweat as the navigator instructed that their destination was less than five minutes away. Though she and gotten some time with Ty this afternoon she couldn’t help but wish he gave her some reassurance that things were going to be okay no matter what, but knowing how Ty’s mind worked she knew better than to get her hopes up.

If she knew one thing about Tyson, it would be that his mind was always over working and any normal logic would be lost and gone from that crazy mind of his.

Pulled out of her thoughts as the sight of a large mansion looking house came into view, Lani took a deep breath as Tyson eyed the building once before shutting his mind down as he felt his anger and sadness bubbling within him.

Brock, who was driving the vehicle pulled up into the visitor’s car parking and turned the car off while the rest of us stayed seated, not speaking and avoiding eye contact with each other.

 Lani was the first to break movement as the thought of her son possibly being inside the building ran through her mind causing her to fumble with her seat belt before finally getting out of the car and staring straight out the building as if it were from out of space.

Jasmine and Brock were next to get out, while J stayed back trying to come up with the right words to say to his brother at a time like this. No parent should ever have to grieve for their dead baby only to find out that the child was alive for years and it was particularly worse when it came to a person like Ty.

Lani may know Tyson better than anyone from recent years but she did not know the half of what Tyson went through as a child, like Jeremiah did. Having your own parents wish death upon you, abandon you and blatantly tell you that didn’t want you, would fuck with any kids head and Jeremiah knew that Tyson felt guilty that his child was neglected just like he was as a child.

Sighing, J rubbed his hand down his face before he pushed his hoodie off his head and turned his attention to Ty who was staring at nothing in particular, “If he is alive man, do not for one second think this is your fault and feel guilty”, J muttered but he knew it fell on deaf ears as Tyson was too far gone into his own mind to comprehend what anyone would say to him now.

With a sigh, J patted his best friend on the shoulder before leaning over to open the door and give him a little nudge so he could snap out of his trance and get out of the car.

Once a painfully slow Tyson exited the car, the five of them made a slow retreat up the stairs and into the polished building that looked to be at least 4 stories high and the length of two basketball courts. Although the orphanage looked grand the group of friends couldn’t help but shudder at the eerie vibe that the mansion was giving off once they stepped inside.

Taking the lead, Jeremiah followed the signs with the others not to far behind him until a large old wood desk came into view that had a petite older lady who wore glasses and a outfit that looked like a costume out of a old style movie on while she slowly typed away on vintage computer.

“Excuse me miss we have a appointment today with the Principle Jones”, Jeremiah said politely causing the ladies head to jerk up as she pushed her glasses higher up her nose while eyeing out the out of place visitors.

“Name?”, She said crisply which seemed to stir a already on edge Tyson but soon calmed at the feel of his woman slipping her hand into his which always helped his state of mind, knowing she was close by.

“It will be either Jeremiah or Nalani”, J told her as he was the one to call the orphanage and set this whole meeting up for them. Nodding her head once, the lady ran her long bony finger day the diary before stopping on Nalani’s name and proceeded to reach for the phone and call the head lady Mrs Jones, “Your 2 o’clock is here, yes all of them? Well theres 5, are you sure? Fine.”, The receptionist hopelessly whispered which caused the girls to roll their eyes as the lady eyed out Tysons tattoos and Brocks size.

“Straight through those doors”, The lady bluntly instructed as she pointed her finger towards large double doors that was at the end of the hall.

Thankful to no longer be in the presence of the ladies piercing eyes, Lani tugged Tysons hand and led him down the hall alongside the rest of their friends who were mumbling about the rudeness they had just encountered.

With a shaky hand, Lani reached up and knocked on the door before pushing it open after hearing a muffled voice instructing them to enter. Everyone begin to enter one by one and being the last two, Ty held Lani back for a quick second where he lifted their laced hands and kissed the back of her hand before mumbling a ‘I love you’ while leading her inside.

Inside the large office, the vibe was less intimidating and the group of friends knew it was most likely because of  the bubbly dark skinned lady who looked in her mid 50’s and gave off a friendly and welcoming vibe.

“Its such a pleasure too have you guys come in today, the kids heard we were having two Miami heat players here and they have been just buzzing all day”, Mrs Jones beamed as she stood up and began shaking each one of their hands as she introduced herself.

“Please take a seat”, The head principal offered as Brock went and stood by the door, while the rest occupied the four seats that were positioned in front of the desk.

“Thank you for seeing us at such notice and under these circumstances”, Nalani spoke up as she leaned forward in her chair as anticipation ran through her body like shot of adrenaline, “Yes Jeremiah had briefly explained the situation and if I could first extend my deepest sympathy to you and Mr Brown, I could only imagine what it may feel like to be in this predicament”, The principle sympathized but Tyson wasn’t here for sympathy, nor pity.

“Is he here? Is our son still alive?”, Tyson questioned instantly not giving anyone else a chance to speak but his sudden outburst didn’t seem to bother the principal as she just gave him a sad smile while Lani rubbed his thigh trying to sooth him from getting worked up.

“After Jeremiah came to us with the allegations we had to get in touch with child support as well as the police as an investigation had to be made due to the false death report as well as possible kidnapping”, Mrs Jones explained although Ty just shook his head as he wasn’t trying to hear all that.

“Dead or alive lady? I’on give a fuck about all that extra shit, his either dead or he alive and if he is that means y’all been aiding a kidnappers plan for the past two mother fucking years”, Tyson raged as he stood up causing both Brock and Jeremiah to step forward cautiously. Again Mrs Jones, didn’t seem taken aback and instead sat calmly as she let Ty pace up and down her office as Lani shot off apologizes to the principle as well as grilling Tyson for his outburst.

“Im so sorry about him Mrs Jones but as you can imagine this is really hard for the both of us. We have had to bury our son and now we are finding out he may be alive this whole time. I understand a investigation will need to be conducted and all that extra stuff but right now all we need to know is if he’s alive or not”, Nalani plead to the Principle whose eyes softened as she could almost feel the pain and sadness that was projecting off this young couple.

“We believe we may have a child that fits the profile. When I spoke to Jeremiah, the resemblance one of our children have to Tyson came crashing to mind, he was brought in from Los Angeles, a newborn at the time, with the name of Isaiah Combs”, Mrs Jones revealed which seemed to send the room into a whirlpool for the crew.

Nalani’s face was now hidden in her hands as she sobbed at the sound of her sons name who know held her stepfathers last name. Even from the grave, Terrance Combs had still managed to haunt Lani and the fact her son held his last name made her sick to the stomach.

Tyson on the other hand was silent. Fighting his inner demons in his mind, he used every ounce of willpower not to dig that man up and destroy his lifeless body all over again.  Both angered by the fact that Lanis step father was still a factor in their lives it wasn’t until a few minutes later that they realized that the principle had just confirmed that their son was still alive.

“Can we see him?”, Nalani managed to get out as the principle tried to cover her teary eyes that was brought on by the heartbreaking scene in front of her, “Of course, but please know that it is mandatory that a paternity test is required”, Mrs Jones advised but at this moment the couple weren’t worried about the extra details in having their son back, they both just wanted to see him in the flesh.

The principle left the room and Jasmine was instantly at Lani’s side embracing her in a comforting hug while J shook his head in disbelief that his theory was infact true.

“Its him, It has to be him. Combs is my step father’s surname”, Nalani explained to both Jeremiah and Jasmine while Brock stood close to Tyson making sure that he doesn’t have a outburst as the last thing they needed was a media circus about Tyson tearing up a orphanage.

Silence filled the room as they waited for the Principle to return with the young child that was believed to be Tyson and Nalani’s child. Although they sat in the room for no more than 10 minutes, to the group it felt like a few hours later when they heard the familiar heels clicking on the floorboards notifying the friends that someone was approaching the office.

Nalani’s breathing picked up as her hold on Jasmine’s hand tighten while Tyson stood leaning against the wall waiting for the biggest moment of his life.

Not even a few seconds later the door was opening and in entered Mrs Jones holding the hand of a small boy that was hiding from view behind the principles leg.

Standing up from her chair, Lani held her breath as Mrs Jones moved aside and gave a full view of the small child who appeared to be a smaller version of Tyson. Nalani cover her my mouth with her hand as the tears began streaming down her face while the small boy looked around with a confused expression.

Tyson on the other hand felt like he had stopped breathing the very moment his eyes set on his son. Suddenly everything came crashing down as he stared into his son’s innocent eyes and for the first time in his life, Tysons memories came crashing down on him in full force.

From his parents’ harsh words, being abandoned at a mental institute, the torture he endured as a child, murders his committed, the drug abuse that has become apart of his life and finally the rape and pain he had enforced on the one person he loved more than life itself.

The mother of his child.

Without a second Tyson was pushing off the wall and pushing past the group, ignoring the questions thrown his way, Tyson was out the door and jogging out of the orphanage and towards the SUV. Realizing he had no keys, Ty pulled his sleeve down to cover his fist as he punched the back window out and proceeded to unlock the door and pull out the wires from the driver seat.

Once he had started the car, Tyson was speeding out of the orphanage and down the highway to the one place he hadn’t been since he was a young teenager. The entire time he drove the only image in his mind was of his son’s innocent face and he couldn’t help but think if he were a normal man he would have still been at the orphanage right now, holding his son for dear life. But he knew he was anything but normal and that is why he was out of there within seconds and speeding towards the one place we swore he would never return.

Back at the orphanage, Nalani was still in too much shock of seeing her son to comprehend what had just occurred. Her crying had subsided and she was now on her knees in front of the boy smiling softly at him as he looked back at her with awe.

“Its Isaiah right?”, She asked the boy softly already knowing the answer but needing to hear it from him but before the young child could reply Mrs Jones was speaking up, “I should have explained before I brought him in, the reason why he hasn’t been adopted yet is because Isaiah is mute. Well not completely, he speaks but very, very rarely. I myself have only heard him speak a handful of times since he’s been here”, The principle explained causing Lani’s chest to tighten as she looked back over at the boy who was still staring at her with curious eyes.

“My name is Nalani, these are my friends Jasmin, Jeremiah and the big guy over there is Brock”, Lani introduced everyone including Brock who had just jogged back in after trying to chase after Tyson but failed as Ty was too quick with his escape.

When the boy made no attempt to reply, Lani still smiled because Isaiah looked over at her friends as she introduced them meaning he understood her and for some reason she felt a little better knowing that.

“You’re a handsome boy, and big too. How old are you sweetheart?”, Lani tried again although this time she didn’t expect any response but much to her surprise and the principles the child slowly and cautiously held up his fingers indicting 2.

Pride swelled in Nalani and she used all her willpower not shed any tears and when she thought it couldn’t get any better the small child hesitantly opened his mouth, “Who are you?”, The boy suddenly asked causing the principle to gasp with wide eyes as tears rolled down both Nalanis and Jasmines cheeks .

Knowing the child wasn’t asking what her name was as she had just told him, she knew he meant who was she to him. Looking up at the principal for approval, Mrs Jones smiled a kind smile and nodded her head before letting go of Isaiah’s hand and stepping away to give the family some space.

“Do you know what a mom is?”, Lani asked softly, unsure if the child understood what parents were as he obviously never had one and neither did the children around him.

Nodding his head, Isaiah’s gaze roamed Lani’s face as if this little intelligent 2 year old was trying to figure out who she was, “Like the ducky in the story book, the ducky has a mommy who looks after him”, Isaiah replied in a small tone causing small smiles to form on everyone’s faces at the child’s explanation.

“That’s right sweetheart, just like the baby ducky you have a mommy too. Im your mommy”, Lani whispered the last part too afraid to say it loudly because she didn’t want him to reject her.

As expect the child stood frozen, trying to understand what he had just been told and Lani sat kneeling there with her heart beating so fast she was sure everyone in the room could hear it so to try and calm it Lani closed her eyes.

“You’re my mommy?”, Isaiah suddenly asked causing her eyes to snap back open as she looked over at the boy who had now a sparkle in his eyes. Nodding her head, Lani whispered a ‘yes’ and before she could say anything more the child spoke again, "His my daddy?”, Isaiah asked but Lani looked around confused as Tyson was no longer in the room.

“Who sweetie?”, She asked just as the small child smiled, “The tall man pictures on his arms?”, He asked as he described Tysons tattoos.

Feeling a sense of pride at her son figuring out who his dad was Lani nodded her head with a smile and not even a second later the child ran forward and threw himself at Lani as he wrapped his small arms around her waist and hugged her tight.

Taking a deep breath, Lani hugged the child back and kissed the top of his head as she cried her eyes out while thanking God for returning her little angel to her.

On the other side of town Tyson pulled up to his destination and he couldn’t help but shudder at the thought of being at this sickening place. Gritting his teeth at the words above the building, Tyson couldn’t help but spit on the ground in front of it. ALL SAINTS MENTAL INSTITUTE, the place he consider hell, which was only a few notches worse than his time at home when he was just a child.

As his mind filled with terrible memories of his time here, Ty tried his best to keep the image of his son’s face the biggest thought as he walked down the path and towards the broke down gates at the back of the institute.

Hidden behind the old Victorian style building was a hidden cemetery that the institute used for burying the patients that committed suicide due to the treatment here or the people who were literally killed by the hands of doctors here.

It was a unofficial cemetery that was off the grid so that way government never questioned the numbers of deaths that take place every year. Instead they bury them back here and pretend that they never existed, harsh but that wasn’t even the half of what this place was like.

Making it to the gates undetected, Ty hoisted himself up and landed on his feet on the other side and began counting the rows as he walked past them. Tyson didn’t stop until he got to row 66, plot 6 and 7 where the headstones were plain and held nothing but two names engraved on each one.

Clinton Maurice Brown and Joyce Anne Brown, were hand carved on the graved by Tyson himself. He had carved them after he had escaped from this very institute and hunted down the two people he hated more than life itself. After he made them live through the torture they inflicted on him when he was a child, for a few days, Tyson finally killed them but not before telling them that he would make there body lay to rest in this hell they abandoned him in.

And so Tyson did just that. After killing them he brought the bodies to the lost cemetery and buried them here without nothing but a name on ruined headstones.

The mere sight of the headstones caused Tysons Manic side to bubble with rage, anger and pure satisfaction, it was fighting to come out to destroy the last known evidence of their existence but Tyson fought with his manic side as that was not why he was here.

“Never thought I would ever come back to this place”, Ty chuckled bitterly as he kicked the dried up leaves around while placing a cigarette in his mouth and lit it up.

“You know sometimes I can’t help but wonder if your pathetic asses are in hell or heaven, you know?  But I aint here for all that, I got bigger and better things to worry about now”, Tyson mumbled as he sat back on a random tombstone in front of his parents ones and stretched his legs out as he began to speak again.

“Got be looking fuckin crazy coming out here and speaking to scum but I need to get this shit off my chest and finally put this to rest”, He sighed as he took the smoke out of his mouth and ran his hand down his face instead.

“I want y’all both to know that for so fuckin long I hated you, shit I still kinda do but hating you has become to much of a effort. For too long have the memory of both of you, brought me down, angered me, brought out the very side that turned you against me and Im not gonna let you have that power over me anymore”, Tyson mumbled as images of Isaiah and Nalani filled his mind which he used as motivation to continue.

“All I ever wanted was parents. Parents who accepted me, protected me, supported me shit even just loved me but instead I was given two humans who turned their backs on me the very moment I needed you the most. I was a fucken kid for fuck sake and y’all looked at me with such disgust and hatred and no kid should ever have to go through that or even feel how I felt”, Tyson choked out as for the first since being a child did he feel like the helpless, lost little boy he once was.

“When you tore me down, told me I was useless and how I’d be nothing in life, I just wanna know if you can see me now? You see me now Ma? What about you Pops? Not so useless now am I? Wanna know why? Im a pro ball player now dad, for the very same team you use to religiously cheer for. Didn’t think your ‘devil’ son could do that huh? How about you ma? Always said Id never find someone to love such ‘a evil soul’, that i’d be lonely forever. You seen my finacee? You see her! She loves me ! All of me! When y’all couldn’t even do that and you’re suppose to be my parents ! Y’all suppose to love me no matter what and you were both to weak to even do that!”, Tyson yelled out with every angry, sadness and pain in his heart as one escaped tear fell down his cheek.

Taking a deep breath while shaking his head, Tyson threw his cigarette on the floor and stepped on it to put it out, “I have a son now. Bet that blew your mind too huh? Tyson the big bad Manic, got a kid. I want y’all to know Imma give that little boy the world. Im gonna give him so much love that he would never know what it feels like to be alone or abandoned, Im gonna show YOU how to raise a child and when his older and asks me about my parents and where you are, you know what Imma tell him? Im gonna tell him I never had any. Because I didn’t. Y’all never were parents to me and I thank you for that”, Tyson breathed out the last part with relief as a small smile showed up on his face for the first time since arriving here.

“Wanna know why I thank you? Because you taught me how NOT to be parent and now Im gonna do everything you didn’t do and Im gonna be the best father in the world”, He nodded with satisfaction as he stuffed his hands in his pockets and began to turn away before stopping for a second.

“I know I always said that I wished you guys were in hell but now I really hope you both are in heaven so that you could be looking down and see what what you gave up on. I have a wife, a child, a career and Im happiest Ive ever been and I did that all without the help of you both”, He said as he looked at his parents graves for the last time ever before turning around and walking out of the cemetery with a genuine smile.

He got what he came here for. Closure. The one thing he needed as much as he needed Lani and their son.

Meanwhile back at the orphanage Nalani found it difficult to say her goodbyes to her son but after a couple of hours with him she had to do just that. The child support people and the detectives working on the case came to the orphanage not long after Tyson left and took Nalani’s statement as well as doing a paternity test as it was mandatory.

While giving her statement to the detective Lani made sure not to tell them that she suspected her mother and stepfather being the culprits in the kidnapping as they would try to look for them and that may lead to them being discovered dead and that was not something Tyson or Lani needed right now.

So instead Lani told them the truth about how the hospital told her that the child had died and how they refused to let her see him afterwards and also told them that they only figured out about the orphanage after they received an ‘anonymous’ phone call a week ago.

Once they got all the information they needed, Lani and her friends stayed for a few more hours to spend some time with Isaiah who although spoke very little bit during the time, the joy was evident in both the mother and child’s eyes.

Now much later in the afternoon, they were just arriving back home now after having to take a taxi home due to Tyson taking their mode of transportation and abandoning them as soon as their son entered the room.

Nalani couldn’t help feel a little bit of disappointment when she walked inside only to find that Tyson not there but as always due to their deep connection that they shared, Lani knew he was fine and that he wasn’t out causing havoc while being manic.

What Lani didn’t know though, was after she had eaten, showered and now lay in bed waiting for him, Tyson was instead parked on the side of the road at the orphanage and was sitting on the hood of his car as he watched with pride and love his son running around with the other children playing with a mini basketball.

His heart grew a little more in size.

Good Girl Part 2 (Calum Hood)

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Closing the locker door you heard his laughter down the hallway. You noticed as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. He pressed his lips to her temple as he pulled her closer to him. Biting down on your lip you turned back around and finished grabbing the books from your desk. Gripping them you closed the locker down and smiled slightly at the blonde girl who was leaning against the other lockers. 
“Ready” you whispered quietly, she was too focused on them to even pay attention to you “Katie” you groaned waving your hand in front of her face. Turning around at the laughter you watched as he stared at you along with your friend. The brunette boy slapped his hand leaving the bills on his hand. Shaking your head you wrapped your hand around Katie’s wrist and tugged on her hand walking down the other way. 

“What was that all about” she asked as she followed you 
“What” you asked innocently staring down at your feet as you continued to make your way down the hallway. 
“Why the hell was he staring at you the whole time” she said as she stood in front of you. Looking at her you shrugged and stared at her 
“I dont know” you muttered walking around her 
“Y/N” she whined as she tugged on your hand leading you down the art hallway. You watched as she sat down and stared up at you “Tell me what’s going on” she said. You stared at her and shrugged 
“I dont know what you’re talking about” you said playing nervously with your shirt 
“Sit down and tell me” she said. Sighing you took a seat next to her and bit down on your lip. 
“I” you stared to say staring down at your lap. Taking a deep breath you tugged softly on your pants “I was dating Calum” you whispered making her turn to you, her mouth was wide open. Squinting her eyes she shook her head and laughed 
“Seriously” she laughed. Biting down on your lip you stared at her, she finally stopped when she saw the look on your face “Seriously” she asked. 
“I was his secret” you said shrugging slightly “But it turns out I was just a bet” you added “Aaron who was laughing while staring at me was paying him the money for dating me” you whispered afraid of your voice. Sniffling you tilted your head back and closed your eyes. Hearing the bell ring you stood up and picked up your backpack from the ground. 
“I’ll see you at lunch” she asked. Nodding you smiled slightly at her and made your way down the hallway. 
“Y/N” you heard him whisper. Shaking your head you picked up your pace and turned the corner “Please just listen to me” he added, he groaned as he reached over and gripped your arm. 

Turning around you slapped his hand away. 
“Leave me alone” you said staring up into his eyes “I think you’ve done enough” you added. He sighed and gripped the strap of his backpack 
“Please let me explain everything” he whispered moving aside as someone passed by. He nodded at them and looked around before he turned to you 
“Why should I Calum, nothing you say will fix this” you said looking down at your feet “You can’t be seen with me because you’re not like me according to you and your friends. You cant date someone like me, I don’t fit in with your group of friends. I’m not popular” you added staring up at him “You made a bet out of me do you think anything you say will make things better” you asked. 
“I’m sorry” he whispered as he leaned against the wall 
“Calum come on mate we have practice” you heard Aaron shout “You cant be serious right now mate, you already got the money you don’t have to hang out with her anymore” he laughed. Biting down on your lip you stared down at your shoes 
“I know mate shes just not over me” laughed Calum, quickly looking up at him you felt your eyes stinging “No no no” he whispered as he stared down into your eyes “Please don’t cry” he added. Shaking your head you pushed yourself away from the wall and made your way down the hallway away. 

Slamming your car door, you followed the crowd and send Katie a quick message. Biting down on your lip you slipped your phone into your pocket and walked up to the little booth
“One please” you said quietly handing the lady your school ID and the money for the ticket. Taking back the ticket and the ID you thanked her and made your way towards the. Handing the teacher your ticket you smiled slightly and took the other half grabbing your phone you read the message and started to make your way towards the middle bleachers. Looking around you sighed once you noticed the blonde haired girls. Making your way towards her you smiled and took a seat next to her 
“Are you sure you’re okay with being here” she asked, nodding you rubbed your thighs softly and stared out into the field where they were warming up 
“Yeah, I’m good” you said smiling at her. She nodded her head and you two stared out at the field as the game started. Focusing on the players you watched as he was pushed down. Standing up with the rest of the crowd you leaned against the railing and raised your eyebrow as he laid on the grass. His was holding his left arm to his chest. 
“Is he okay” you heard someone ask from behind 
“I don’t think he will play” you heard someone say 
“Well there goes the championship” you heard a girl groan before she pushed her way out of the bleachers. Shaking your head you watched as he was helped up to his feet and guided out of the field. Hearing people groan about him not being able to play anymore you sat back down and continued to watch the game. 

2 Months later 

Making your way down towards the lunchroom, you looked around trying to find the blonde girl. Walking around you sighed playing softly with your hands 
“Hey” you whispered causing him to look up quickly 
“Hi” he replied as he turned around in line 
“Where are your friends” you asked as you stood behind him. He shrugged and grabbed a tray. 
“Where are your friends” he asked.
“Not here yet” you replied grabbing a tray for yourself, you frowned as he struggled to hold the tray. Reaching over you grabbed the item he wanted and placed it on his tray “What else are you getting” you asked
“Why are you doing this” he asked as he managed to grab a water. 
“Because your friends don’t care” you replied shrugging “For the simple fact that the school’s star is benched his friend all of a sudden disappear” you added making him look over at you 
“I thought you hated me” he whispered as he paid the lady 
“I don’t hate you Calum” you replied smiling sweetly at the lady and payed her “I could never hate you” you added following him towards the table with his tray “I was hurt but, I would never hate you and would never be like your friends” you said placing his tray down. He sat down and looked up at you nodding. 
“Thanks” he whispered, nodding you made your way across the lunchroom and sat down next to your best friend. 

Calum’s P.O.V

Looking over at her I watched as she tilted her head back and laughed. A small smile appeared on my face as I watched her. She was truly perfection, they way she treated others even when they hurt her. Biting down on my lip I picked up my water and managed to open it. Looking up as I felt the table move a bit 
“Cal” laughed Aaron as he sat across from me 
“Hey” I muttered taking a sip from the water 
“You get that thing off soon right” he asked as he pointed towards the green cast around my arm. Nodding I looked over at him and raised my eyebrow “We miss you out there on the field” he added. 
“I miss being out there” I muttered, leaning slightly towards the right, I watched as she stood up and picked up her backpack. “I have to go” I said quickly and gathered all the trash in the tray. Sliding my backpack over my shoulder I picked up the tray and dumped the trash before following her 
“Y/N” I asked, she turned around and smiled slightly at me “I….” I chuckled looking at her, she makes my knees weak, she makes me forget how to speak “Thanks” I managed to say. She nodded her head and continued walking. Sighing I shook my head and ran after her “Wait” I shouted, she sighed and turned back around to face me “Would you like to hang out tonight” I asked biting down on my lip 
“I was actually going to the game” she said quietly looking up at me “Um you’re welcome to join us if you’ll like” she added. 
“I’ll just stay home, I don’t want to go to the game but, thanks” I replied. She frowned slightly and nodded before she walked into her classroom.

Give It A Chance

Chapter 9

It had been 3 months since Gail had visited Holly. They had kept up a routine. Not that they felt that needed a routine to keep them together, but it just sort of happened. Holly wakes up to her phone every morning with a voice mail from Gail as she either gets ready for work, on her way to work, or at work. Gail comes home to a video message of Holly telling her about her day while shes still in her office. In the off chance that they do catch each other with some free time, they never miss the opportunity to chat. Busy or not, they always found time to talk to each other. 

“Uhg” Gail groaned heavily as she sat on her desk. “ Seriously, who would be so stupid to steal a painting?! Just go to Staples and have that shit copied!” she yelled at the screen, she continues to angry type attracting Oliver’s attention as he walked by.

“Whoa, Peck. What did the keyboard do to you?! I’m pretty sure the cheese puffs were taken by someone else.” Oliver walked around the railing and sat on his favorite officer’s desk.  " You alright there? Wanna, you know, talk? I gotta be honest with you Peck, Izzy is going to college soon and I dont have the funds for another weapons and shoes trip. I can however, provide a donut or two.“ She looked up at him and simply grabbed the squad keys next to her and slapped it into Oliver’s open palm. She got up abruptly and made her way towards the parking lot. Oliver just knew to follow.

"You know you’re buying. No limits, and a coffee.” Gail said as she opened the car door. “ Yes, for you. Just for you pal.” Oliver replied.


“I just dont get it, why would someone set up a forensic conference all the way in Australia?!” Gail complained. “ We have lots of dead people here, Oliver! Lots! I’m pretty all of them need autopsies, so why cant all the death nerds gather here instead of halfway across the world?!” Gail took a huge bite of her bacon log donut. “ Uhg, this just reminds me of the one I had in San Francisco, which reminds me of Holly, which reminds me of how much I miss her, which reminds me about how pissed I am!" 

Oliver was staring at her with his eye narrowed."OK, so Holly’s away for a conference. What is the problem, what is it?” He starts to flick of some of the glace from his donut. “ You knew long distance was going to be hard, you’ve been doing it for nearly 5 months now, whats so different now?”

“Australia is far, Australia is 17 hrs time difference far, Australia is crappy signals far, Australia is keeping Holly busy very far.” She takes a breath. “Australia is the reason why I’m not having a movie date with Holly right now.” She drops her head on the table, with a thud.

“Oh Peck, That is something temporary. Sure its getting to you now, but she’ll be back to our side of the world, then eventually our country.” Oliver tried to reaffirm. “Wait, what? How? Movie date?”

“Well, every end of the month, we usually have Fridays off, letting us stay up all night tonight. We watch a movie together. Like, pick the same movie, download it, press play at the same time?” She playing with the coffee lid now, her hair completely ruffled to perfection as she runs her free hand through it. “But since she’s there, she’s too busy and like the time thing totally ruins it. ” She said in a very low voice.

“Oh my, please, this has to be the cutest you’ve ever been friend. ” She glares at him. “Don’t ever say that I’m cute, I’m rude, mean, and absolutely not cute!” Gail bites back. 

Oliver chuckles. “ You’re a lovesick puppy, Peck. Holly’s got you all in love and its the absolutely black mail worthy. But I won’t do that to you Peck, you know why? Because I like being alive.” He continued to tease. He brushes the crumbs off his hands, still mid chew he continues. “ Just another couple of months Peck, you got this.” He stands from the booth nodding his head towards the car.

“If you tell anyone about this, I’m telling Celery you had 4 donuts.” Gail threatened. 

She was nearing the end of her shift and still nothing. There has been zero communication between her and her girlfriend since she’s been stuck in boring lectures all day. Holly had sent her her time schedule while she was away, but even then Gail couldn’t keep up with the time. Between work and hating Holly for being too smart, the only thing she was looking forward to was to go home to Holly’s apartment which the brunette insisted she used whenever she felt Holly deprived. Today, was that day, Gail needed to feel Holly. 

She was finally done with her report and celebrated it with a well deserved stretch. She stood from her desk, closed her eyes, and reached for the skies as she twist and turns. Mid stretch, she heard a thud land on her table. She slowly opens her left eye to see what happened. She noticed a package on her desk. She looked around and saw Traci walking away from her  who looked back and gave her a suspicious wink.

“Traci!” Gail yelled. Traci turned around. “ What the hell is this?” She asked pointing towards the box.

“Lets just say someone who knows you so well had this mailed to me a week ago, I just got the message to hand it over” Traci made a turn at the corner, not before she was able to wave goodbye to Gail.

She shakes the box, hearing a light noise. She decided to wait till she got home to open it.

Opening the door, she left a trail of her belonging as she walked towards their bedroom, leaving her bag, shoes, and jacket behind only taking a bottle of beer and the box with her. She sat on their bed and shook the box one more time. She finally opens it. It was a USB drive. She looks at it curiously, slightly worried. She plugs it into her laptop and she watches the screen brighten up. It began to play. It was Holly.

“Hey, baby! This is a little creepy isnt it? I just found out I’m being sent to Australia for a conference and I just know the whole time thing is going to screw us over, but if I did this right, you should get this in time for movie night. God, I hope Tracie doesnt open this..” Gail was smiling ear to ear. God she loved this woman. “ Anyways, Since I dont want you watching Mean Girls without me, I decided to do little vlogs for you everyday until I leave. It should keep you pretty occupied.” Holly winked at the camera. The video continued to play as she heard her phone ring. She glanced at the screen finding it incredibly hard to look away from her computer she answers her phone. 

“What do you want?" 

"Whoa, I knew my camera skills were bad, but damn baby. ” Holly said back.

“Oh my god, Sorry Hols, I was just. I’m just..-” Gail was lost for words and she was watching Holly do her hair.

“So you are watching it!” Holly yelled into her ear.

Gail snickers, “ Yes, you dork. I missed you today. More than normal.” She confessed.

“I miss you every second.” Gail can feel the smile in Holly’s voice.

“Traci just told me she handed the goods over. Just so you know, this is the only movie you and I will never watch together.” Holly was feeling slightly embarrassed. 

“Just for me.”

“Just for you” They fell into a comfortable silence only filled with the noises from Holly’s video.

“This just made me miss you more, and your bed. I like your bed.” Holly can tell Gail was slowly drifting into sleep.

“It makes me love you more..” Gail said almost inaudibly.

“Sweet dreams love. Just a little bit longer.” Holly stayed on the phone until she was forced to go into the next lecture. 

5SOS Preference #16: He Breaks Off Your Engagment But Then Wants You Back Part 1 (Requested)

Luke: Today was supposed to be the best day of your life, well for any girl it was. Today was the day you were getting married and became Mrs.Hemmings. Or so you thought.
“Y/N! Why on earth arent you in your dress? You’re supposed to be walking down the aisle in 5 minutes!” your mother screeched at you. Nervously you looked up at her while continuing to bite your already stub nails. After seeing the scardness in her baby girls eyes, your mothers face softened and she walked over to you and gave you a hug.“I’m scared mom,” you admitted. “What if I fall down while walking? What if I forget my vow? What if Luke hates my dress? Even worse what if Luke doesnt wanna get-"you blabbed to your mom before she cut you off."Y/N, I promise you that once you get out there it wont be so bad. When I was getting married I had jitters just like you. And sweety, Luke loves you and wouldnt care about what your dress looks like. He loves you and he always will. Now come on you have to put your dress on now.Slowly you stepped into your white, beautiful dress and your mom buttoned you up in the back while one of your bridesmaids fixed your hair. With 2 minutes left everyone rushed into their positions waiting for the music to begin. As the first pair walked out the big wooden doors, your nerves returned and you had began to pick at what was left of your nails. Your father notices this and quickly grabs your hand in attempt to calm you down seeing that it was almost time for the bride to walk down the aisle. Seconds later the music had begun and for the finale time the doors had been opened allowing all of the guests to see you and you to be able to see them. You gripped your fathers arm tighter and took your first step careful to make sure you didnt trip over your dress. As you continued to walk forward, Lukes eyes never left yours. Something seemed off. Luke didn’t look excited or happy even. Instead he looked scared. Like something was wrong. Finally you able to stand in front of him and your father gently handed you over to Luke. You kissed your dad on the cheek before turning to face Luke. "Today we are here to celebrate the love of two people, Y/N and Luke” the preist began. He continued to talk but you were too mesmerized by Luke eyes.“Luke you take Y/N to be your wedded wife? To cherish, to hold and to love through sickness and health?” You looked Luke thoughtfully in the eyes waiting for him to answer. Seconds had gone by and everyone was now staring at Luke curiously. The priest cleared his throat. “Luke?” He seemed to step out of what ever trance he was in and finally answered.“I, I, I cant.” You looked up at Luke with a confused expression. “What?” Luke cleared his throat. “I’m sorry Y/N. I just cant get married to you.” Before he was able to finish though, you were already halfway out of the room. Somehow you knew this was going to happen.

Ashton: “I can’t do this anymore Y/N!” You and your fiance Ashton had been arguing non-stop since last weekend. The two of you thought it was just the stress from the wedding that was in about a week away, but the two of you also seemed to be growing apart. As realization of he said sank in, you had stopped screaming. “ What are you talking about Ashton?” He sighed and ran a hand through his messy hair. “ I’m sorry Y/N but this obviously isn’t working anymore. I mean we’ve been screaming at each other for a week now not to mention we hardly ever do anything together anymore” he stated. Tears started pouring out of your eyes as you realized were this was going. “Ashton come on we can work this out. It doesnt have to end this way.” You covered your mouth with your hand to muffle the sobs that had escaped your lips while watching Ashton pack clothes into a bag. “Ashton please dont leave me. I love you and you know that.” By now you could barley see from your tears clouding your vision. He finished stuffing clothes in his bag and quickly zipped it up. You didn’t even know if he had heard you. Finally you figured out that no matter what you said you wouldn’t be able to change his mind. As he pushed past you, you just simply followed his down the stairs, both of your feet thumping with each step that you took. Ashton had now reached the door and you stood a few feet away. “I’m sorry Y/N but it’s over. ” And that’s all he said before walking out the door and out of your life forever.

Calum: Tomorrow was the day of yours and Calums wedding. You were beyond excited but Calum seemed a little on edge. So for the past few days you had decided to leave him alone and you took care of the last minute wedding decisions. As you were double checking the guest list you saw that two people hadn’t RSVP yet. And those people just happened to be Calums parents. Maybe thats why he’s cranky you though. So you decided to go and ask him. “Calum?” You had found him sitting in his chair that was in his music room. “What fo you want Y/N?” Calum snapped at you. “Did you know that your parents hadnt RSVP to the wedding yet?” He looked at you surprised thinking you would be coming to ask him a question about which centerpiece he liked better. “Oh yeah..um…thet said they cant come. Something about having to go out of town” he lied. “Come on Cal. You don’t have to lie to me.” He sighed loudly. “ They said that I made a mistake asking you to marry me” he stated not really caring about seeing your reaction. You were indeed surprised. “But your family……they always seem so happy to see me” you said. By now Calum was fuming at how dumbfounded you were being. “My god Y/N! It was set up! My parents paid me to ask you out and get you to like me because of your dad. I want supposed to actually fall in love with you let alone marry you and now I have to stand up for you against my parents.” You could not believe what thou had just heard. Never would you have thought your love life was set up because your daddy had a ton of money. Now you stood up angrily glaring at Calum. “Well please don’t let me stand in the way of your precious family” you sneered. “Let me make this easier for you Calum. Go ahead and break it off. Go ahead and end everything I thought we had.” Calum stood up angrily too. “Fine! Were’re over then!"he yelled before drinking away.

Michael: You and Michael had just gotten engaged last week. And to celebrate the rest of the band was going to take you guys out to celebrate. Of course though they had to pick a club to take you guys to. So you dressed up in you little nlack dress that reached your mid thighs and slipped on a pair of black pumps while leaving your hair down. Mikey went casual and just went in a pair of tight skinny jeans, one of his nice and not so dirty button up shirts with a pair of converse. As the 5 of you sat in the car, the boys were singing quiet loudly to the music that was blaring from the radio. Finally after another 10 minutes you guys arrived at the club. Cautiously you walked inside with Michael by your side. Honestly you were never much of a drinker and the boys knew that and promised to be careful and not get to drunk. Of course that promise was broke quickly. Ashton and Calum were already on their fourth drink Luke was close behind with only drinking three. As for Michael you lost count after 4 and a half. After wondering around for 10 minutes your feet started to hurt so you sat down at the bar. The bar tender walked up to and asked you what you wanted. You just simply ordered a coke and he went off to go get you what you ordered but not without a flirty wink at the end which you just ignored. Staring out at the dance floor you saw a couple swaying their hips to the music while grinding on each other. As you looked closer you saw a familiar white head. Michael. Angery you stood up and marched over to Michael. "What the hell do you think your doing?"you questioned Michael ignoring the glare you were getting from Mrs.Crayola Box. Rolling her eyes she walked away going to find some other drunk person to dance with. "Come on Y/N loosen up a little!” Michael slurred. “Michael you know how I feel about alchol.” Your eyes wandered from left to right glancing at the people who were already wasted. “Michael come on your clearly drunk. Lets go get the rest of the guys and head home” you said to him while pulling on his arm. “No Y/N! You always have to ruin things for me. You never let me do anything without whining that I need to just stop and go home.” By now many people had stopped dancing to see what the kaos was all about. “Michael I was just,” you started but got cut off by a very angery Michael. “No you know what? That’s it, I’m done with you! It’s over!” After Michael’s outburst you didn’t know what to say so you ran out of the building and hailed a taxi hoping to get as far away from Michael as possible.

Let me know if I should do a part 2!