if you can dodge a wrench you can dodge an alien

anonymous asked:

Can I get some Pidge and Coran headcanons

Coming at you with that NICHE MARKET

  • Coran will never admit it but he’s like 70% sure Pidge is actually eight-years-old (or the equivalent in Altean years). He thinks Pidge is like, a super-accomplished baby.
    • Lance: Okay but like… He’s not wrong lmfao (dodges a wrench) Hey! Coran, Pidge is throwing a tantrum again!!!!!
    • Coran: Oh dear, looks like Pidge is overdue for a nap :( (dodges a screwdriver)
    • Pidge: I hate this fucking family!!!!! >8C
  • Pidge offhandedly mentions during dinner that she’s trying to learn Altean and Coran is like (slams down spork) I WILL BE YOUR TUTOR. He gets very into it. He even codes up a space version of kahoot. He also baby proofs the Castle’s version of Killer Rosetta Stone®
  • Coran: Oh, hello Pidge! I’ve been looking all over for y-
    Pidge: (bolts)
    Coran: (immediately gives chase) YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE OF US THAT CAN FIT IN THE VENTS, PIDGE!!
    Pidge: I’M NOT CLEANING THE FREAKING VENTS AGAIN, GO AWAY CORAN.
    • Pidge: Why do the vents even need to be clean, I hate this family so much
    • Lance: I’ll trade med bay duty with you for a day if you want
    • Pidge: Deal.
  • Coran brings Pidge along every time he goes hunting for ship parts because Pidge can cry on command. It’s a very effective tactic for speeding up negotiations.
  • Pidge: (downs a cup of nutritional goo like a shot)
    Shiro: What are you doing?
    Pidge: (slams cup down) Coran keeps calling me ‘Number 5′ and I am determined to prove him wrong. 
  • Pidge is honestly blown away by Coran’s brilliance?? Like, the space uncle is usually used as comedy relief, but he’s honestly so freaking smart and Pidge is like (tears in her eyes) I Would Die For You Coran.
    • Coran is equally impressed by Pidge, because she’s so small and young but so brilliant? He constantly tells her how she would’ve fit in and even shone on Altea. 
    • At first Pidge thinks he’s being patronizing, ‘oh look at how hard the Earthling tries’, but then she realizes that no. Coran honestly thinks that highly of her. He gets misty-eyed whenever he talks about how Pidge and Hunk would’ve flourished in the classrooms on Altea.
  • Coran: Okay, but are you sure you don’t have any Altean blood in you? At all? A great-great-great-great-great to the eighth degree great grandmother, perhaps?
    • Pidge: Nope. I’m from the midwest. Which probably makes me some kind of alien, but still a human one.
  • Coran tries to stealth-parent Pidge, but Pidge always manages to turn it around on him.
    • Coran tries to convince Pidge to take a break and eat. Five minutes later he’s in the kitchen making tea for them both and he has no idea how he got there.
    • Coran tries to get Pidge to take a nap. Ten minutes later he’s giving her and Hunk a crash-course lesson on how to maintain the Lions in a worst-case-scenario pinch.
    • Coran: ????
  • Pidge: (cackles as she programs the training bots to chase Lance around the training room)
    Shiro: Oh geez, don’t worry Coran I’ll stop her.
    Coran: (smiling fondly) (glances over at Allura) Ah, don’t worry Shiro. The Princess used to be just like this when she was younger, and she turned out alright!
Who’s Faster Part 3/? (Pietro Maximoff x Reader x Barry Allen crossover fic)

Author’s Note: Hey guys, I’m sorry I didn’t post Friday like I promised, but my ACL surgery kinda threw a wrench in plans. I’ll try to post another part pretty soon to make up for it. Enjoy!! :)

Summary: It’s your average day in the Avengers Tower in New York City when something extraordinary happens–and that’s saying a lot since you work with the Avengers.

Other Characters: none

Warnings: Slow burn … yeah sorry about that.

Word Count: 700

Originally posted by british-fa99ot

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