Okay but imagine Yuuri retires from competitive figure skating at 27, and he decides to go back to college to become a teacher.
So this boy walks into class sporting the just-rolled-out-of-bed look with the sex hair and the big comfy sweater and the starbucks cup in one hand.
And you know, he’s enjoying his life, he makes friends in his program and on the weekends he helps his husband teach cute little kids how to skate and they have this cozy little house together in a nice neighbourhood. He probably has girls and guys falling for him left and right.
And then one day, Yuuri’s out with his friends, and they’re at a cafe or something.
And a group of girls comes up to them, and they’re all blushing and nudging each other saying “You talk first!”.
So Yuuri just turns this absolutely blinding smile on them and asks, “Autographs?”
The girls squeak, and nod furiously.
“Sure!” he says, reaching out for the notebooks they’re holding out for him to sign.
And about ten minutes later, after several selfies and autographs and a lot of gushing and squealing and “Please let Viktor know we’re looking forward to Yuratchka’s upcoming season,” the girls leave.
So Yuuri turns back to his friends, and they’re all just staring at him with wide eyes and gaping mouths.
Yuuri kinda wonders if there’s something on his face.
The first thing that comes out of anyone’s mouths is, “…who’s Viktor?”
And Yuuri’s kinda confused as he replies, “….my husband?”
“YOU’RE MARRIED!?!?!?!?” his friends all shriek.
Yuuri looks down at his hand to make sure his ring is still there. “Yeah?” he says, holding his hand up.
“I thought that was just a fashion statement!” one of the girls exclaims.
“Why did they want your autograph though?” asks another of his friends, and Yuuri just looks away sheepishly.
“I’m…uh….a retired competitive figure skater?” he asks, his voice going higher with embarrassment. “And I…uh…got 2 golds in the Grand Prix…and 2 golds in Worlds….and maybe a silver in Pyeongchang?”
His voice gets progressively quieter as his face gets even redder.
His friends are staring at him in horror and shocked disbelief now.
And he thinks he might as well get it all out now.
“And…my husband might be the most decorated athlete in figure skating history?”
Fics based on this post:
- A Name I’ve Heard Somewhere by GwenChan (@gwen-chan)
- A Prince in Disguise by lourthor (@kurtdontcurr)
- A Real Life Cinnamon Roll by Seito (@seitosokusha)
- And the answer is… by nessiesaur
- anonymous by eu_nao_sou_um_chapeu (@eu-nao-sou-um-chapeu)
- Comfort Zone by BertholdvonMoosburg
- Did I Forget to Mention… by nevereverever
- Ethical Dilemmas in Sports Psychology: When Googling Your Friend Gets Weird by Adrianners (@adrianners)
- How do you not know? by missykristy
- icebreaker by Cesare
- It’s like some surprisingly inclusive and irritatingly sugar-coated rom-com by RocioWrites (@rocioandthatsall)
- Long time no see by ddugeun (@chukichi)
- My Fun Fact Is: by stillmadaboutpetra
- New Friends by viktuuri (@softvictory)
- Now I Know by CassidyMoffett (@sweettigerotakureviews)
- Of College Classes and Googling Friends by IceIceSkaters
- Outed By Victuuri Smut by Anonymous
- Storytime: Celebrity Blindness by likestoimagine (@likestoimagine16)
- Tale of the Russian Punk and the Japanese Cinnamon Roll by JamieAvenBell
- The Internet Exists for a Reason by tomorrowsdreams
- The Moment of Truth by little_miss_laughs_alot
- The Secret Life of Professor Katsuki by FreakingOutGirl
- This is Why You Google People by StarlightPhoenix (@cleverlittlejay)
- Trivia Night by RinaRose (@marina-and-the-fandoms)
- Wait, What? by @realisticallycynical
- Yuuri Katsuki-Induced Feels by @i-w-p-chan
~If you want to officially gift your work to me, my AO3/FFN penname is SkyGem!~
Tumblr posts/additions for this post:
- Hilarious addition by @p3hero
- Adorable continuation by @deadlychildartemis
- Comic by @lauravian
- On why Yuuri’s friends don’t know about Viktor by @blindiemac
- Retirement au: Yura edition
- Retirement au: Viktor edition by @rocioandthatsall
Translations of this post: