if we stand for nothing we fall for anything

Am I like the only one who has imagined Lance finding Keith in the control room with that galaxy simulation thing open just trying to take it all in, searching for something, anything maybe nothing, to find Shiro. 

And Lance finally breaks the air and lets Keith know he’s there “Keith? What are you doing up, you should be resting-” but his voice trails off when he realizes Keith is crying. The indestructible boy finally collapses, sliding down to the floor against a control panel, voice breaking and tears falling he just barely stutters out “He’s gotta be here somewhere right? We gotta find him, Lance- we h-have to find him.” 

Lance just stands there at first not knowing whether or not Keith is okay with being comforted, but eventually, he decides to slink over and sit next to him, his arms scooping his friend nearly in his lap, “Yeah buddy we’ll find him, shhh, we’ll find him.” 

And none of the other paladins comment on finding them in the morning, and they definitely don’t comment on the evident tear tracks dried out on Keith’s face, however, everyone is silently more compliant and try not to be too harsh on him from there out. 

Like seriously am I the only one?

Waste Away

Pairing: Reader x Pietro Maximoff

Prompt: You and Pietro had been each others casual one night stand type pair for a while. You two would see each other some days during briefings but never talk. You would share the occasional glance and nod during the meetings or one of Tonys lavish parties, but never actually speak to each other. One night it all becomes too much to handle…for both of you.

Warnings: Language, mentions of sexual stuff, drinking, I think thats it…

Word Count: 1,650

Song: Wasted by MKTO

Originally posted by dailywandamaximoffs

You both lay on your backs staring at the ceiling. The fan rotates slowly above you two and all you can think is how it symbolizes the relationship between the two of you. The slow endless circles that you both go through. You see each other, one of you caves into the need, you have sex, one leaves. The next week, or couple days even, its back to the start again. At first you were okay with it, hell you even enjoyed it! It really did help you feel better when you felt alone. But after awhile it just made you feel empty. You would look at him and smile, and want him to pick you up and hold you, nothing more than hold you like he did sometimes after you two were spent. You wanted to lay and gaze into his eyes and talk with him. However, you knew that couldn’t happen. He didn’t feel the same. You knew it.

“Y/N? You awake over there?” Pietro jokes as he rubs his hand down his face. You nod slightly and roll to face him. He does the same and leans up on one elbow.

“What are we doing? This? Why do we keep doing this?” you ask with a slight laugh. You were testing his waters to see exactly where he stood on the situation. He nods and slightly looks down at you.

“We are being there for each other. We are allowing each other to feel better when their down, we are being friends. We keep doing it because we don’t like to see each other sad, and I mean its pretty damn good, not going to lie.” He says. He seems less convinced than he sounds. You watch him for a moment before laying back on your back and sighing.

“Don’t think about it too much alright? I’m going to head home. You what to do if you need me.” Pietro says kissing your forehead. He stands and pulls his boxers and jeans back on before he grabs his jacket and shoes. He leaves your room and shuts the door quietly. You turn your head and look at the door.

All you wanted was to be held…and you couldn’t have that.

Pietro’s P.O.V.

Walking away from her is something I hate doing, but something I’ve grown accustomed to. Don’t get me wrong it kills me every time I have to do it, but it would kill me even more if she walked away. I have no real idea of how to get this out of my system, this pain, guilt, loss? I don’t know what I’m feeling but I need it to stop, and I need it to stop now.

I walk down to my room and walk in, throwing my shoes against the base of the wall and my jacket over the couch. I slowly make my way to the cabinet above the fridge and pull down the bottle of Jack Daniels. Luckily Tony hasn’t “confiscated” this one yet. I open the top and pour a small glass. Its a long night and I only have half the bottle to get me through. Best to make it last as long as I can.

Y/N’S P.O.V.

You hold your phone in you hand and stare at the screen that shows the messages you two have sent. You have a message typed and ready to send, you just can’t seem to press that little green arrow. You lock your phone and throw it to the other side of the bed. You want to talk to him, you want to stop this feeling, you want to come to terms with how you feel for him, and you can’t do that without telling him…in person. Standing from the bed, you slip on a blue pair of pajama shorts and a white tank top that you had shed earlier that night. You slip on a pair of socks and walk out into the hallway. You walk to the end of the hallway to pietros room and knock slightly.

“Hey, Pietro you in there? I need to talk to you.” You say quietly. After a couple more knocks he opens the door and rubs his cheek before shaking his head slightly.

“Hey, what’s up? It’s only been like an hour, you want to go again?” he asks with a laugh. Your face stays straight and he stops laughing.

“Come in.” he says stepping aside. You walk in and wait for him to close the door. The room smells of whiskey, heavily. You glance to the table and see the now empty bottle you knew was at least half full when you were here last. You then look to Pietro and see that his eyes are glossed over and they are slightly red. He was drunk, for sure, but had he been….crying?

“Look we can’t keep doing this…I-I can’t, I can’t keep this up piet. It takes so much out of me every time you leave, and don’t get me wrong I LOVE what happens behind my bedroom door, I do, but it hurts too much when its over. When you leave I go right back to how I was before you came, hell I feel worse. I just can’t keep putting myself through it.” You say. You begin biting the inside of you cheek to keep yourself from crying.

Pietro has his eyes trained on your face but says nothing. He glances to the half full glass in his hands and then downs the remaining bit of whiskey. He drops the glass on the table and you’re surprised it doesn’t shatter. He pulls a chair in front of you and sits so that he is closer to face level.

“Please understand that when I say this, it is nothing against you. Y/N, we can’t be anything more than what we are now, no matter how bad either one of us wants to be…we can’t. Do you think I enjoy having to leave you behind every other night? After what we do? The way I feel after it? The love I have for watching you slowly fall asleep in my arms when I do stay for the remainder of the night? No, I can’t stand it. But I know that something will go wrong if I get closer to you than I already am…I’ve never been able to make a relationship go right, there are so many times I’ve been with someone who just wants me as a way to relieve their sexual needs and its terrible, but I didn’t mind because they weren’t anything to me. I didn’t care what they did afterwords because I didn’t care enough about them. Doing this with you has shown me that there is always that one that comes along and changes everything. I lay in bed at night and think about all the things we could have if we were more, but I also know that I could mess it all up, so easily…and I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if we were something real, and we wasted away just like my past relationships.” He says. His eyes glance to the floor and he shakes his head. He looks up to the bottle and groans when he realizes its empty. You place your hand on his knee and he looks to you.

“You don’t know what will happen until you try. You can never be the sole reason a relationship doesn’t work, because a relationship is between two people. I want to try this with you. I want us to be more than just the casual fuck okay? Every time you walk out my door, it feels like my hearts getting ripped out of chest. I want you to be able to come over and we just do normal things, watch movies, eat dinner, cuddle for God’s sake I don’t care! I just want it to be US instead of whatever we are now…I want us to always have love rather than only make love. Thats all I’m asking.” You say. The inside of cheek tastes of blood and tears slowly fall down your face. Your vulnerabitly showed through and now all you wanted to do was hide away from everyone and everything. Pietro gazed into your eyes and looked back to floor. This wasn’t going anywhere.

“I’m going to go.” You say softly. You quickly stand and walk to the door. You get it open just slightly before you feel the rush of his past you slamming the door shut and his eyes look into yours again.

“You’re not going anywhere Y/N.” He says. His hands cup your cheeks and his lips press against yours softly. This was the softest they had ever been against yours and you smiled into the feeling of it. He breaks apart from you and places his forehead on yours. Your eyes flutter closed and then open again.

“You have no idea how badly I want all of that with you darling. I want it and we are going to make it work. No more nights of me leaving, no more nights of three a.m. phone calls, more nights of sex, definitely more of those,” he says. You both laugh slightly. “But those nights will always end with both of us together, until morning. We are going to try this, and I’m going to do everything I can to make sure it works for as long as I can. I promise babe.”

“WE will make it work, both of us. Now please kiss me again damn it.” You say. He laughs and pushes his lips against yours more forcefully this time. With this, you know he was fully prepared to keep every part of his promise, and you knew it would work.

————————————————————

Again thank you to @ifoundlove-x0vanessa0x for her help on this and on so much stuff, YOU ARE GR8

Please? Part 20

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16

  • Daryl Dixon x Reader
  • 765 words
  • Warnings: nothing

Rick leaves and puts Daryl in charge. He claims he will only be gone for a day, maybe two. Even after leaving, Rick thinks Daryl is a good guy, the best guy to hold down the fort while he goes off in search of baby stuff and other supplies.

When you wake up, Rick, Carl, and Michonne are already gone. Beth says Maggie and Hershel are outside, keeping an eye on the place. Glenn is taking a little rest in his bunk, trying to get a little shut eye after a long shift last night. You don’t see Daryl anywhere, but Merle is wandering around outside, taking out walkers that are too close to the fence with his knife.

“Carol?” You walk over to her. She’s making some soup for her breakfast. You still haven’t eaten, not since lunch yesterday. All this mess with Daryl, it has you too worried to eat. “Can I talk to you?” You made sure no one was around. Beth has Judith elsewhere, trying to sing her to sleep. You hear the faint sounds of her singing.

Carol nods and glances your way after spooning some soup into a bowl. “Sure, love. What’s up?”

You take a seat and hug your knees up to your chest. You aren’t sure where to start… “Daryl’s done a lot for me. I know our relationship isn’t perfect, but it was pretty damn good. Should I let him walking away before get between us?” You watch her as she takes her own seat and blows a little on the soup that’s still steaming a little.

She licks her lips and looks over at you, dropping her shoulders some. “Since that night on Hershel’s farm… I knew you two were the perfect match. Even before, the way he looked at you and watched you. I tell you, I thought he was no good when him and Merle joined our group. I remember Shane… One night he wanted to throw them out, leave them on their own. That’s when you came in and changed everything.” Carol smiles at you.

“I did?” You are shocked to hear that you had such an impact on things, especially with Shane in charge.

“Mhm.” Carol smiles. She take a bite of her soup and swallows it, tapping her spoon against the bowl. “I would even say that Daryl Dixon fell in love that night. You were all he cared about. Making sure you had a spot to sleep and enough food for the day.”

You feel a smile spread across your face. You recall the night you came to the camp, the first camp. It was nice to have the feeling of a little community and you wonder if you will ever have that feeling again, once everything here is settled. “I always liked Daryl… But I think it was that day on the farm. When he called for me. I think I knew then…”

“Then you go and you get that boy back. Couples have their fights and what have you. It’s the ones that are meant to be that always find their way around them. Or something like that.” Carol giggles, the corners of her eyes crinkling in. In that moment, she feels more like a mother to you than anything else.

You stand up and walk over, throwing your arms around her. “Thank you…” You smile.

***

It doesn’t take too long before you find Daryl. He’s sitting in one of the guard towers, his feet dangling off the edge as he points his crossbow at a couple of walkers, never actually pulling the trigger. He seems to be deep in thought, which you think about leaving alone, but this was probably a bit more important.

“Hey,” you walk over and stand in the doorway.

Daryl turns around, lowering his weapon so he can see you. He shields his eyes from the sun with his hand and sets his crossbow down. “Hey.”

“Can we talk?” You ask gently.

He shrugs, not saying anything. He returns his attention back to the gang of walkers outside of the fence.

Sighing, you take a seat just behind him, not wanting to feel like you are falling. “We’re a great team. Nothing should ever come between us. We never let anything before, why should we now?” You nudge him with your shoe and smile. “I believe I owe you a kiss.”

Daryl huffs and looks over his shoulder at you. “Yeah, ya do.” He may not want to show it, but you notice a little smile sneaking up on his lips.

When I Met BTS in Atlanta. Pt. 3 (9/26/15)

so it was over, but it wasn’t over. Get me? The people came on the mike and was like, “all the people who does not have the hi-touch wristband may leave.” Basically, if you don’t know what a hi-touch is, it’s where we got to meet them and give them high fives.

And guess what we had? 😏 oh yes. The wrist band boi! We were so excited. This was going to be our chance to finally meet BTS and nothing could ruin that. So they escorted the VIP people who were on the floor down to meet them first and everybody else would follow.

When it was time for us, I was so nervous. I didn’t want anything to mess up this moment. We got closer and closer to where they were….when we finally walked in and met them.

*angelic voices*

I don’t quite remember the order they were in, so I’ll do my best. I believe it was Jin, Suga, JHope, RapMon, Taehyung, Jungkook, then Jimin. I know for sure Jin was first and Taehyung, Jungkook, and Jimin were the last three, in that order.

I’ll go through each one.

JIN is so effin tall in person. Like he was so tall man. Can’t even describe it. He was just tall. And more good looking in person as well. Many fans saw that his expression was kind of sad and blank during the hi-touch, but I didn’t see him sad. He was more than likely tired.

SUGA is actually really pale. I mean, I knew he had white, milky skin, but up close, the lights on the ceiling was shining down on him…..he looked like a mf ghost. That’s how pale he was. I was just staring at him in awe. Boy.

JHOPE was extremely happy to meet us. He kept a smile on his face the whole time. He even told me and my sister, “thank you for coming!” of course I smiled back because he was just so happy and cute.

RAPMON. This dude is freakishly UP THERE. like..I told y'all Jin was tall. Rapmon was tallER. I literally had to look all the way up just see him. And knowing that I was short, he bent his arm down so I could give him a high five. (HaHa RapMon.)

TAEHYUNG. I got to him and was staring at him nonstop, and I actually said, “oh my god.” while staring at him and he started to smile at me as I hit his hand. Like GAWD DAMN TAE. That boy was so good looking in person. THEY ALL WERE MAN.

😖 JUNGKOOK WAS MF NEXT. This was my chance to say something to him because I was wearing his button that these fans gave out while we were waiting in line. and I wanted him to see that. 😒 but I didn’t say shit. I was so disappointed in myself. That is my mf bias and I went mute. But I did get a grin out of him.

JIMIN. Boy oh boy. Y'all know he short, right? I know that. You know that. We all know that. BUT NOT THAT SHORT BOY. I am 5'1 originally, but because I was wearing wedges, I went up like three inches, so like 5'4. I was next to him, and I guess he must have left his shoe lifts because that boy was no taller than me. Like…I was at his damn earlobe. 😂 That’s how specific it is. Y'all think he’s like 5'8, 5'9…basically what his profile says. ✋ Nah son. Nope.

So yes..it was crazy! I waited for my sister, which wasn’t that long, damn security were rushing us. It was so fast. We were basically fangirling because of what happened when I sort of tripped because of those damn wedges and the guard next to us was like, “uh uh, move it along. Go do that somewhere else.”

……you want me to trip and fall somewhere else? Like..PLEASE don’t make me get on your ass. He didn’t even try to help me up or anything. Fucking rude. 😡

That was the end and we’re walking out the arena when we saw a boatload of people standing outside waiting to get in.

We were so confused because we were thinking, “is BTS having a second concert or something?” which was crazy because they said nothing about a second concert for Atlanta. So let me tell you why they were really out there.

Apparently TGM, the shitty company that was handling everything, oversold too many tickets for the concert and the people outside were actually waiting to get inside. Meaning..there was no second concert. I felt really sad for them because while we were inside getting lit, they were outside the venue IN THE FUCKING RAIN. None of us in the venue knew of them being out there, but basically they been out there for quite a while.

Eventually, they got to go inside after everyone else left out because they didn’t want them out in the rain. ( Now they care about them. 😒 ) but they did something really fucked up. Those fans were walking inside thinking that they were going to meet BTS or at least see them.

TGM already fucked up earlier that day when they ran out of posters for the fan sign and made BTS give autographs to the fans on a fucking piece of paper.

But once they got inside, the staff informed the fans that they weren’t going to meet BTS and they were actually leaving as they speak because they had to go back to their hotel. Being furious at that moment was truly an understatement. Girls started crying. Others had started to cuss out the staff. Especially this one woman..( you can look all of this up on YouTube. Its all there. Just type in BTS Highlight Tour Atlanta. )

SHE.WENT.OFF..

Like..she was seriously pissed. Because it just didn’t make any sense how they treated Atlanta fans at this concert. They didn’t even inform BTS that there were like 80 more fans outside waiting to meet them. They knew they oversold their tickets and didn’t do shit about it. As a matter of fact, I don’t even think the ones who didn’t get a chance to see BTS or even the least bit of their performances got a refund for their money back. AND THIS WAS LITERALLY A YEAR AGO.

So basically, TGM cheated them out of their money and is, say it with me folks, A SHITTY COMPANY.

Moral of the story: Don’t trust companies like TGM because they will fuck you over.

We were just lucky enough to come back in time and have friends that saved us a spot in line.

Because if it wasn’t for them…..we would have been one of the people who wasn’t fortunate enough to meet them.

All in all, it was a worthy experience that I shall remember forever in my mind and heart and I hope they come back and have a FULL concert so the fans who were left out the first time can have another chance at meeting these great group of boys.

Falling in Love

Pairing: Josh Faraday x Reader

Author: @star-pratt

Words: 2606

Prompt: I told you not to fall in love with me.

Author’s Note: Alright, here’s the second one from the prompt list that I have divided that would fit Chris’ characters! I hope you guys enjoy it! Thanks to @mf-despair-queen for proofreading this and helping me with the idea. :)


Originally posted by fuckyeahchrispratt


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We hate ourselves because that’s what others do. We love what we don’t want to love because everyone says that it’s great. We change our personalities based on the people we spend our time with— even if we dislike them. We surround ourselves with those who don’t fit because we want to feel like we belong. We always try to be good to everyone but ourselves and we live to impress. We aren’t worth anything unless others think so. If the person that we like doesn’t like us back, we aren’t good enough and we will never be. We don’t eat enough, we don’t laugh as loud as we want to, we don’t believe in what we stand for and fall for nothing.
—  I wish 13 year old me would’ve realised how ridiculous this sounds so I hadn’t walked down that path
Haven *A Klaroline Fanfiction* NEW CHAPTER /CHAPTER UPDATE

A/N , HEYYYYYYY GUYS!!!!! I know its been ages since I last updated this, but so sorry and here I am…. THIS UPDATE IS THE LOVELY @caritobear , Carolina’s BELATED BIRTHDAY PRESENT!!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY , MAY YOU HAVE MANY MORE LOVELY BDAYS!!!

Thanks a lot for all the reviews, favs and follows. Please review if you like it.

LET YOU BE MINE

He stood watching her from the balcony. Her golden hair spilling down her back. Her fingers lazily drawing shapes in the white sand, a vision, a picture of serenity soothing his inner turmoil. How did he feel this foreign sense of calm just by looking at her? What was about her that pulled at him, tore at him? Perhaps tore him, left him wide open and yet he felt strong.

He gripped the stone balustrade. His need to reach out and hold her overwhelming him. He knew he was attracted to her but lust had never before made him feel this commanding need to possess a woman. To claim her and protect her. Even with his superstitious mothers upbringing he had never been a big believer of fate or destiny. And now he was tempted to believe that this was fate’s design. Her being here, close to him, where he could witness her smile, her shy eyes and the stubborn tilt of her chin, was all fate.

He was meant to save her and she was meant to hold onto him, just him. She was his destiny. The one woman he didn’t know he was waiting for.

He saw Kol sit beside her and he wanted to fling his brother off into the ocean. Such visceral jealousy, such possessiveness he felt was new but would always be usual where she was concerned.

Vaguely aware of Aurora joining him on the balcony he stood tense still watching his cabron brother flirt with Caroline. Dammit she was his.

Caroline laughed and he felt a smile form on his face, surprisingly because he was unaware of why she was laughing.

Aurora held his arm, “Klaus?” he spared her a glance, annoyed that he had to look away from Caroline.

“Yes.” he responded looking back at Caroline.

“What is going on?”

“I fail to understand your meaning.” Klaus gripped the railing again this time jealousy running like acid through his veins when Kol kissed Caroline’s cheek, her very soft cheek.

“I mean with this girl. Who is she? Why are you so obsessed with her? I thought she was Kol’s gf”

In that moment Klaus realized fate wanted him to decide. Aurora’s question was fate’s way of making him confess what he had recognized the first moment, when he had clutched her close to his heart and she had asked him to “save her”.

So suffused with a new urgency and determination he answered, “She’s mine.”

Unaware that the same instant Caroline had decided to give up hope, watching him standing beside Aurora.

Seeing the formidable certainty in Klaus’s eyes Aurora backed away. She understood the desire and emotion swirling in Klaus’s eyes but it’s intensity was unique, hence her hands around his arms loosened.

It was beautiful the passion she witnessed in her best friends eyes. Perhaps she had wished to see the same potent response from Klaus directed at her, which at the moment had surfaced for Caroline.

Aurora saw how Klaus was mesmerized by Caroline. He kept watching her until Caroline got up and went inside the house.

Awkwardly Aurora squeezed his arm once, wondering was he even aware of it, and left.

::::::;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Klaus was still seething and pacing. He had been for the last hour in his office since he had seen his brother kiss Caroline, on the cheek, on the cheek , it was just, a hopefully platonic kiss on the cheek and nothing more, he kept reminding himself.

His phone rang. He pressed the speaker button and Finn’s secretary Sage spoke, “Mr Mikaelson.”

“For the last time Sage. Call me Klaus. Mr Mikaelson was my father.”

“I’m sorry Sir. Mr Finn insisted on that title when he was here. It would take some time for me to get used to calling you Mr Klaus. ”

“Klaus. Just Klaus. And I’m sorry. You’re right it’s just been a few days that I’ve been handling padre’s company. Take your time.” he said reasonably but it grated on his nerves being called by his father’s title.

A father who had expected so much from a son so unworthy of his expectations. Someone like Klaus, who had always been a disappointment but his father had never voiced nor believed what his people gossiped about his favorite son.

“Ah Sir. There is a message from your mother. Mrs Esther wanted me to inform you that Bonnie and Ayana just arrived. And she expects you home an hour before dinner.”

“Gracias. Sage. Are there any other appointments i might have forgotten about?”

“An online meeting at four with our Asian suppliers.”

“Could you re-schedule it for tomorrow? I’ve had enough business for one day.” He halted his agitated pacing and sat in the office chair.

“Yes sir.”

“And inform Tony I wish to leave in ten minutes.”

“Okay. Sir.”

“Sage?”

He leaned back and sighed before continuing, “Did you have the password for Finn’s log in?”

He felt her hesitate before she replied, “I did. But he changed it before he left.”

“Uh. Thanks.” and he hung up. Then he got up and packed his laptop in his briefcase. A moment later Tony showed up took his laptop and Klaus exited his office.

:::::;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Bonnie Bennett was the bane of his existence, had always been. From the age of ten when she had moved next door in London to now when she sat stoic faced in the back seat of his car.

He had received Ayana, Bonnie’s grandmother and his mother’s one of very fast friends and Bonnie from the airport twenty minutes ago.

He had expected Bonnie to lash out, or demand answers for what had passed between them the last time they were in each other’s company, but her silent treatment of him and her refusal to acknowledge his presence was grating on him like sandpaper.

Ayana asked him about the weather in El Sagrario and he gave a courteous reply about humidity and hot air being abundant this time of the year. Whereas Bonnie never gave him an ounce of attention and continued to stare out of her the window.

He drove past another car and gritted his teeth when he saw her still engrossed with the view outside. What was so damn fascinating about a corn field? He fucking hated the corn right now. Was he really jealous of a field of vegetables?

Dear lord, it was her fault. She made him feel like this. From her unruly mass of brunette ringlets, her sexy smile, and those soft delicious lips, everything about her tugged at him, made him uncomfortable. He was privy to what he felt for her but she was betrothed to his brother and he couldn’t do anything about it. It was his mother’s wish, she had chosen Bonnie for Nik. And it hurt, it freaking eviscerated him everytime he thought about it. Perhaps if Bonnie had reciprocated his feelings he would have fought for her but she loathed him so he had no choice but to see the love of his life marry his brother.

:::::::::::;::::::;;;;;;

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anonymous asked:

I think you've said the songs on the playlist are not all the ones you have for CFAU. I've now listened to all of them and I think they're amazing and so fitting to the story. Can you share any more?

I’ll give you one that FUCKS me up all the time. This plays out in my head as a literal conversation between Clarke and Lexa.

Imagine the bold is Clarke, the italics is Lexa, and -nothing- is both.

The sun is filling up the room
And I can hear you dreaming
Do you feel the way I do right now?

I wish we would just give up
Cause the best part is falling
Call it anything but love

And I will make sure to keep my distance
Say, “I love you,” when you’re not listening
-And how long can we keep this up, up, up?-

Please don’t stand so close to me
I’m having trouble breathing
I’m afraid of what you’ll see right now

I give you everything I am
All my broken heart beats
Until I know you’ll understand


And I will make sure to keep my distance
Say, “I love you,” when you’re not listening
-And how long can we keep this up, up, up?-

And I keep waiting
For you to take me

You keep waiting
To save what we have


So I’ll make sure to keep my distance
Say, “I love you,” when you’re not listening
-And how long can we keep this up, up, up?-

Make sure to keep my distance
Say, “I love you,” when you’re not listening
-How long ‘til we call this love, love, love?-

5

• “I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion’.”
— Muhammad Ali

• “A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination.”
— Nelson Mandela

• “We can’t change the world unless we change ourselves.”
— Martin Luther King Jr.

• “A man who stands for nothing will fall for anything.”
— Malcolm X

• “If today were the last day of your life, would you want to do what you are about to do today?”
— Steve Jobs

Fifteen crosses for fifteen people. They call their presence a memorial. The community brings them flowers, which is as much a plea to come back as it is an apology. There are words humming in the air around the crosses, singing their anger and their grief in blackest black upon their wood, and it feels like the world itself has stopped to listen.

They say that crosses are markers for the dead. They say that the names written on these crosses are all that encompass someone’s being. We are nothing but our names and the date upon which we left this Earth. Even when the crosses are torn down, these names and that date hallmark some turning point in time.

Crosses are, in all honesty, markers for the living. Their entire meaning comes from the struggle of life itself. We have been told that we all have our own cross to bear. That we shoulder our own cross throughout all the days of our lives. That we sometimes stumble under it, and fall, and get back up again. And a standing cross upon a gravesite becomes nothing more or less than the symbol of completion. A row of fifteen crosses in the centre of a community marks nothing else than the recognition that fifteen people planted their life’s cross upon the Earth and walked away from it forever.

None of these crosses say anything about the people they immortalise. They don’t speak of their brightest days. They don’t remember the cry of a newborn baby, or the laughter of a child. They don’t know which bones were broken, which scratches and scrapes were kissed and tended to, which worries were soothed in the dead of night. They didn’t sit with terror upon waking from a dream that foretold the end of the world. They didn’t hear a whispered prayer of please and thank you. They don’t recall moments of failure or victory. They don’t recall what it feels like to be embraced and loved throughout all the days of life.

Those memories are for the living. These memories are the ones scribbled upon the crosses of the people that were left behind. They walk hand in hand with those other memories that are nothing but That Day and After That Day. Some remember That Day and After That Day more than they remember Before. That Day is always remembered today, on a day in April, and we all live within the After.

I would like to think that Before is primarily the domain of parents, of friends, of loved ones. Before are the photographs on the wall, the handwritten cards, the drawings from childhood years, the memories that make the dead come to life again. Before inspires the fight that takes place After. Sometimes, however, Before is the entire world’s domain in fleeting smiles dancing before our eyes and long-gone voices whispering nothing of import in our ears. Sometimes, Before becomes a waking companion in the dead of night when the loss of fifteen souls becomes the loss of fifteen universes.

Sometimes, Before is all I see when looking at fifteen crosses.

Sometimes, Before erases the divide between thirteen and two.

I have no crosses with which to mark the passing of That Day. I have nothing but names and infinite stories great and small to share.

Rachel Scott
Daniel Rohrbough
Kelly Fleming
Lauren Townsend
John Tomlin
Matt Kechter
Isaiah Shoels
Daniel Mauser
Corey DePooter
Dave Sanders
Kyle Velasquez
Steve Curnow
Cassie Bernall
Dylan Klebold
Eric Harris

I have nothing but the thought that I would have liked to know you.

Advocacy in Nursing....what will you stand for?

Nurses tolerate a lot. It comes with the territory, but over time you begin to learn what you won’t tolerate. Two things I’ve come to learn one shouldn’t keep quiet about; bullying, and safe staffing. Speaking up about bullying, and it continuing despite my concerns,resulted in me resigning from a position earlier this year, and speaking up about safe staffing resulted in me being terminated this week.

When I first began working ICU about 5 years ago, every shift the nurses were expected to take 3 patients. That’s 3 critical patients. Perhaps one downgrade, but then with the revolving critical door, you get a cardiac arrest, or trauma that necessitates one on one care, let alone…3 patients. It’s unsafe, yet just like many coworkers, I learned to tolerate it, until one day I learned that apathy was more frightening than tolerance.

A week ago, the assignment they gave me included a post arrest, a combative GI Bleed with a tanking BP (I’m sure many of you can picture this one well), and a Hepatic Encephalopathy planned for extubation (failed twice, and labored breathing that day). I voiced a concern. I voiced it is unsafe. I voiced I do not have the option as a full timer to protest the assignment, hence no union to protect me if something goes wrong. The response? The charge nurse got it. She requested another nurse to our unit from nursing office . The other nurses got it. They were in my shoes too many times with too many protests unheard. The doctors got it - ICU doctors are some of the most supportive I’ve encountered. The nurse manager didn’t get it, and this is a greater concern when a manager does not support his/her nurses. A manager, who does not value concerns of safety. A manager who doesn’t remember what it’s like to be a bedside nurse. The concerns aren’t for my assignment alone. We can take the patients, but care is compromised. The concern is for patients who won’t receive nurses at their optimum, the concern is for fellow nurses, and future nurses who should not have to endure this to the point of complacency, burnout and quitting the profession.

When we ignore a nurse’s concern for safe staffing ratios, we not only undermine their vital role in patient advocacy - we also devalue the quality of care that administrators so adamantly profess as our mission, and we devalue the lives we are entrusted to care for. As a profession, we need to bring it back to basics of care, and it begins by hearing the nurses when they protest unsafe staffing.

I had a quote running through my head that morning, ironic really, or perhaps foreboding since I had a feeling it would be a 3 patient day; “Those who stand for nothing, fall for anything.”

Speaking up isn’t just about quotes though, it’s action. It’s risk. It doesn’t feel pretty, it isn’t neat, it doesn’t make you feel proud. It gets you in trouble. It pisses people off, and it sometimes leaves you feeling defeated.

But it feels right.

anonymous asked:

Hi! You could recommend me some lxlight fanfics? Thank you! :D

*screaming internally*

I will gladly do that, thank you.

Have you ever heard of “Light Likes Cock”? That’s my favorite fanfic EVER, and it never gets old for me. It’s so pornographic and well-written. Here’s a link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5046290/1/Light-Likes-Cock

Normally I would stop there, but there’s more.

Anything by halfpromise is great, but one of my favorites is A Cure For Love. It’s just like any Yotsuba arc classic plotline fanfic, but this one is so unique and I really like how Laura wrote L and Light’s relationship as something very twisted. Just like I thought their relationship should be: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6673293/1/A-Cure-for-Love

If you want something fluffier, check this list:

And a special mention goes to anything that Dotti55 has written so far. One of my favorite by hers is Into The Night because is her most suspenseful yet. The order of stories goes as follows: Something To Think About, Putting It All Together, Into The Night, Out of This World, and Obsessed. And she also has a boarding school AU called Metamorphosis which is very great so far.

And now for the angst:

Okay, I haven’t read them exactly, but, Those Who Stand For Nothing Fall For Anything by halfpromise, and Nights by FreezeDryedGorgeous (a.k.a. The Lovely Jaye) are excellent according to my friends, and I want you to read them, please!

And because I’m an attention whore, I’m recommending my Crack Fic, Nothing Like A Good Hand, which does have LxLight (wait until Chapter 4), but also includes LightxMisa and LightxTakada. Did I mention that Light screws everyone? Because he does. It only has two chapters so far and I promise to add chapter 3 soon!

Wow, that was long. I hope you enjoy any of these fics, Anon!

KHR Starters { Version Vongola Songs }
  • “If you’re lonely, you’re welcome into my world.”
  • “For the distant tomorrow, let’s make a promise.”
  • “I am ready to support you at any time!”
  • “Until your tears are gone, it’s okay to cry.”
  • “The truth is I’m always trying to convince myself.”
  • “No matter who the opponent is, I won’t give mercy.”
  • “I’ll protect it to the end.”
  • “Come recognize it, your destiny.”
  • “I will comfort you if you wish for it.”
  • “I’m happy to meet you, somehow it’s too cliché.”
  • “We’ll definitely meet again somewhere, right?”
  • “If you judge me from my appearance, you’ll get hurt.”
  • “Fate is something you have to change yourself.”
  • “There’s nothing to be afraid of.”
  • “I don’t even know where I can go back to.”
  • “I want to convey all my thanks to you.”
  • “I have people who are dear to me.”
  • “Nothing will begin if we stop.”
  • “The place we aim, here is not the end.”
  • “My favorite attraction, the freefall.”
  • “Please understand my feelings.”
  • “Please answer my feelings.”
  • “I’m dying of love for you.”
  • “When I meet the person I want, my heart races.”
  • “This is the law of love.”
  • “I believe in the red strings.”
  • “I’ll follow you wherever.”
  • “I wonder what is waiting to face us.”
  • “No matter how many times you fall, stand up again!”
  • “I’ll be waiting for you at the promised land.”
  • “When I’m alone, I can’t do anything.”
  • “It’s okay to be lost.”
  • “Don’t be discouraged by it.”
I and Love and You

Prompt: You’re just my roommate and I’ve wanted that to change for the longest time.

a/n: In honor of fanfiction writers appreciation day I wanted to write this and just let all you writers out there know that you are all truly amazing and inspiring and you have no idea how much I appreciate you all pouring your heart and soul into every single word you write.

It’s nearly 2 AM and he’s trying his best to be as quiet as possible. Except that this stupid old door, in this stupid dusty apartment with the stupid creaking floorboards, is locked. And he can’t remember where he put his key. He’s never been more thankful than he is at that very moment for her control freakiness and insistence on keeping like 12 spare keys in case either of them lost one. Because as usual, she’s right again and there’s one hidden under the small cactus plant she got him for his birthday.

“Of all things, did you really have to get me a cactus. A pack of beers would’ve sufficed?”

“It’s prickly and likes to be left alone all the time… ” she teased. “I’m sure you two will get along swimmingly.”

He pushes the door open and puts the spare key back underneath the plant when he sees his own set on the table. Each step he takes is ear-splitting. Like nails on a chalkboard and he’s almost certain he’s woken her up.

He’s not used to the silence. It’s pretty much been a forgotten concept ever since he met her. Caroline Forbes. Roommate and best friend, but nothing more. She’d made that abundantly clear.

“I only have two rules.” She smiled. She’s always smiling and he’s not sure if he’s mesmerized or completely aggravated by her constant positivity.

“Rule number one: If either one of us has ‘company’ over. He or she should inform the other beforehand so that it isn’t awkward.”

“What about shameless one-night-stands?” He asked, clearly pushing buttons he was sure weren’t meant to be pushed.

“If you even bring up that term again, you can sleep in the street.” She said, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

“Okay. What about rule number two?”

“No matter what changes during the course of this agreement. We remain friends. Nothing more. Never anything more. We are just friends and if that starts to change, our contract is void.”

“Are you saying I can’t fall madly in love with you?” He asked, mocking her more with each letter that left his lips. “Cause I was really looking forward to that.”

“Nope.” She said, popping the ‘p’ and ignoring his attempts at pushing her. “There will be no falling in love. Deal?”

“Deal.”

He should’ve known then how far he would fall. Spelled by her, just like every man that had ever or would ever cross paths with her.

He tiptoes his way to the threshold of her bedroom and just stands in the door frame watching her. She’s beautiful. Her breathing is heavy and he can see from here that the bags under her eyes are heavier than they were when he left. She hasn’t stopped crying. Not since her mom got diagnosed. Granted, it wasn’t that long ago. She had just always seemed like the type of person who would never fall apart and yet that’s all she’d been doing for the past week.

He thought he knew better, but when she woke up that morning with a smile on her face and a skip in her step, he couldn’t stop himself from hoping.

“You’re looking better.” He exclaimed, taking off his earphones and throwing on an old hoodie. If there was one thing he’d never get used to it would be morning jogs in December.

“I am.” She said, her usual smile gracing him with its presence on her face. He hadn’t seen that smile in a while. He’d missed it. More than he ever thought possible. “I spoke to my mom and the doctors may have a plan to operate.”

“That’s great, Caroline.” He said, catching her gaze. It’s short lived as she turns around quickly as he sees smoke appearing behind her. She’s cursing and carrying a pot to the sink before he even registers what’s going on.

It’s thirty minutes later when she finally chirps. “Disaster averted.” He’s taken a seat on the couch and yes, it’s only ten AM but so what if he has a beer in his hand. “I was thinking of driving down to see my mom today. She’s got another doctor’s appointment and I really wanna be there for her, you know.”

He does. It’s another reason he loves her. Caroline Forbes would rather sell her soul to the devil than not be there for someone she cared about. Because it’s who she is. And her heart is gold. “Do you want me to drive you?” He asked. He knows full well that’s she can do it herself. But he’d never be stupid enough to give up an opportunity to spend time with her. His beautiful, talented, constantly optimistic best friend.

“No.” She answers fast. Too fast. He raises an eyebrow at her and she does what he least expects her to do. She lets out a laugh. It’s melodious and perfect and it’s a song he hasn’t heard in too long. “I’m sorry. It’s not that I don’t want you to come. It’s just… It’s a Saturday night, Stefan. There are hundreds of hot girls getting ready right now to go to parties that’ll only end when the sun comes up tomorrow. You’re hot and single, and you're… Well, you’re you.”

“Not sure where you’re going with this?” Not sure where he wants her to be going with it. Maybe another outcome. An outcome in which the end of that sentence consists of three words. Namely, I and love and you.

“You’ve spent the past two weeks with me.” She said, eyes never straying from his. “I mean, I know I can be self-absorbed sometimes, but even I would be sick of me by now. Go out. Have fun. I’ll still be sad, little Caroline when you get home.

”He wants to say “you’re beautiful and I hate to see you sad.”

But all he gets out instead is “Okay” and “Call me when you get there.”

He makes his way over to her bed and sits down gently beside her. There’s a strand of hair that’s fallen out from her messy ponytail and he makes it his job to gently bring it back behind her ear. She stirs and her eyes open.

Her chest rising and falling, her blue eyes boring into his, she scoots over and makes room for him to lay down next to her.

“How was your day?” He asks. He’s not sure if he’s ready for the answer. Screw that, he isn’t. ready for the answer.

“Horrible.” She says, and he doesn’t need an elaboration. “Yours?”

“Horrible.” He laughs and she shifts so that her head is resting on his chest.

“What went wrong?” She asks, genuine concern on her face. “I thought we had a fool proof plan.”

“We did.” He said, tracing circles around her back as he felt himself relaxing. “Except the only girl I wanted to dance with wasn’t there.”

Her eyes meet his and they’re having another one of those moments. The moments you see in movies or read in novels and fairy tales. Those moments when he’s so sure she feels the same as he does.

A moment that ends the second her eyes begin to flutter closed and whispers against her hair. “Get some sleep.”

And it’s not until she’s pulled off into oblivion and he’s intoxicated by her that he has the courage to whisper “I love you.”

4

JACK: I mean, it turns out the white things are tusks and I mean tusks! And it’s woken, and it’s not happy. 
DOCTOR: How could you not know it was there? 
JACK: And we’re standing there, fifteen of us, naked 
ROSE: Naked?! 
JACK: And I’m like, oh, no, no, it’s got nothing to do with me. And then it roars, and we are running. Oh my God, we are running! And Brakovitch falls, so I turn to him and I say 
MICKEY: I knew we should’ve turned left! 
JACK: That’s my line! 

So one time at church we were planning for girls camp or something and we were discussing ways that we could help the other girls gain faith and when we came to a good conclusion I added “If we stand for nothing we’ll fall for anything” and they were all like really impressed but little do they know that that was an All Time Low lyric and I am trash

2

Sam: Dean, have you found anything that gives you an idea on what took her?

Dean ran his hands through his hair, looking down at his father’s journal.

Dean: No, nothing.

He set the book down on the table and looked back to Sam.

Dean: Have you found anything at all?

Sam: No. Nothing. We weren’t on a hunt, so it couldn’t have been something we were after at that moment…

His voice drifted off as he wiped his hand down his face and leaned back in his chair as Dean sighed and took his feet off of the cooler, and standing as he loosened his tie.

Sam: Nothing.

Sam whispered this, his head falling in disappointment. 

Just A Dream (Robbie Kay Request)

REQUEST: You have a very vivid nightmare that robbie is killed and you wake up screaming and he rushes in to comfort you.

:) enjoy.

***

You tapped your foot on the ground constantly, knowing full well you were probably annoying everyone around you. People all around you were waiting for news too. Everyone wanted to know if their loved one survived the crash. You held onto your phone, expecting Robbie’s family to call and find out information since they were away. You held on tightly, half expecting Robbie to text you and say this was a lame, stupid, ridiculous prank. But it wasn’t. You were sitting in the hospital, surrounded by people who were just like you: completely terrified.

Suddenly the doctor showed up in front of you and you refused to look up. The lady sitting beside you nudged you, encouraging you to listen to the news because at least it was news. Your heart sunk knowing, not registering the lady at all. “Come with me Y/N.” The doctor spoke. How does he know my name? It didn’t matter. You followed the doctor and he led you to a room. You stopped in your tracks, not wanting to enter. You knew who was inside. Robbie.

You took a deep breath, wondering why no one was telling you anything. When you walked in, you felt your heart break. You had never seen anyone in this condition except in TV shows. Now you were the loved one, falling to your knees beside the hospital bed. He was broken, he was ghostly. His face drained and bruised, and tubes going inside him helping him survive.

You turned to the doctors, waiting for them to tell you something. Anything! You grabbed onto Robbie’s hand, which was nothing but ice cold. You could feel yourself heaving from crying, shaking and struggling to stand. The beeping from the heart monitor going from slightly irregular beats to a long, painful flat line.

Then the doctor spoke, “We’re sorry for your loss. We did everything we could.”

You felt yourself screaming, and someone shaking you lightly, screaming your name…

***

Robbie POV:

I smiled as she fell asleep beside me. She always did that when we watched a movie so late, even when she said she wouldn’t. I decided to go downstairs and get some of the cookies we had made that afternoon.

I got downstairs and noticed that she had left her phone on the counter. I pressed on the button to light it up, and saw that the picture was one she had taken of me while we were cooking that same day. I smiled, not knowing she had taken pictures. As I grabbed a couple cookies, I heard the most terrifying sound ever: her screaming. My heart dropped down to the ground as I dropped everything and ran back up.

I entered the room, seeing that she was still dreaming. I panicked, not knowing how to wake her up. I ran to her, shaking her shoulders lightly, screaming her name back at her.

“Y/N! Wake up!”

***

Your eyes shot open, your face completely wet from crying and your body still shaking. Robbie was right in front of you, his eyes filled with concern.

“Oh my god you’re not dead,” You cried harder and threw yourself into his arms, holding him tighter than you ever did, “You’re not dead.” You whispered repeatedly.

“Of course not, I’m right here.” He whispered back, stroking your hair lightly. He waited until you let go before releasing the hug, knowing you needed it.

His hand moved to your face, wiping off the tears. He looked you in the eyes, making sure you were okay. You sighed deeply, catching your breath.

“What happened?” He asked, so softly it was almost a whisper. You rested your head in the crook of his neck, and he wrapped his arms around you.

“There was a crash, and you were so hurt. You were dead, your heart just stopped. I thought I had lost you.” You said, shaking again.

He held you tighter as you spoke, closing his eyes too afraid to admit that he would be as afraid of losing you. “Shh… Y/N, love, it’s okay. It wasn’t real. Just a dream.”

His voice reassured you, and you smiled and kissed his neck softly. You both lay down, not moving. Your head now resting against his chest, hearing his heartbeat. His arms still wrapped around you, holding you tightly. “Promise me something Robbie?”

“Anything.” He said, rubbing your back.

“Don’t ever leave me.” You said, holding onto his shirt tightly with one hand, as if you were afraid that he would disappear.

“I wouldn’t dare. As long as you promise the same thing to me, love.”

You lift up your hand, sticking out your pinky finger, “Pinky promise?”

You felt him chuckle lightly beneath you, and tied his finger to yours, “Pinky promise.” 

You closed your eyes once again, both of you falling asleep not letting go of your fingers.