if ur still reading up to this part then im sorry

just a few things straight* people need to never do again

since i’m feeling extra bitter tonight!

  • don’t call ppl gay as a joke/insult, this is 101 level shit friends!

  • DEFINITELY don’t call homophobes gay as a joke/insult. this goes TRIPLE for homophobic politicians etc who deliberately torture, or endanger/end the lives of, LGBT+ people. fuck your putin memes!!!

  • don’t suggest that violent homophobes are just closeted self-hating gay ppl or that “the worst ones are always secretly gay”. that places the blame on us for our own oppression which is a cruel move

  • don’t bring up the fact that “LGBT+ people aren’t all perfect, they can be abusers too!!” because we know, you paint us all that way in order to justify our oppression, and you literally cannot handle that conversation with nuance because of that history - so leave those discussions to us.

  • don’t say making a butch-coded character a lesbian would be “a stereotype” so it’s somehow more Progressive™ to have yet another straight character who just happens to take all her fashion cues from lesbian culture. we need rep more than you do, straight girls with short hair!

  • don’t insist that it’s somehow wrong to be LGBT+ and fulfil stereotypes, as though the negativity in those stereotypes doesn’t nearly always come directly from straight people being uncomfortable with people being visibly LGBT+ and having our own cultures and ways of identifying ourselves to each other

  • don’t act all offended when someone mistakes you for one of us. take some time to think about why you think they should know you’re straight, and why you think it’s so bad to be seen as one of us.

  • don’t make AIDS jokes. what the literal fuck. it was a fucking genocide you monster.

  • don’t defend the way we die on screen all the time. don’t write stories where we can’t be alive and happy and LGBT+ all at the same time without being punished for it by the narrative.

  • don’t go making or joining in on our jokes about how straight people are the worst. that’s you too, buddy, no matter how big your rainbow backpack is.

  • don’t talk about how there are straight people and Straight People™ and you’re better than those other Straight People™. that’s not your fucking call and if you think it is you’re definitely Straight People™

  • don’t assume that everyone in your life is straight. odds are a lot of people just aren’t out to you. it’s your job to learn to be a person they can feel safe being honest with, and to act like that person even when you think you’re only interacting w straight ppl.

  • don’t assume that all LGBT+ people are adults who always knew. be aware that in most groups of children, some will be lgbt+, and be respectful of that possibility in how you talk to them

  • don’t out us. don’t speculate on whether someone you know is lgbt+. don’t mention us in conversation purely to get Cool Credit for knowing A Gay, that’s weird and uncomfortable even if it’s not to someone we know/will ever meet. other lgbt+ ppl see u doing that and we are creeped out.

  • don’t pretend you can be privately creeped out by/uncomfortable w/disapproving of our existence without being a homophobe. you’re a homophobe. you don’t have to stay that way.

  • don’t fetishize relationships between ppl of the gender you’re attracted to. our sexuality and our relationships are not for your consumption and us loving/fucking each other is explicitly not about you at all!

  • stop talking about same gender relationships like they’re dirtier or more sinful than yours. stop pretending gay fanfiction is dirtier than straight fanfiction.

  • shipping isn’t activism, porn isn’t activism, and it’s homophobic to pretend voyeuristic fetishization of our existence is remotely supportive. especially if you’re still uncomfortable w gay & bi people of your own gender.

  • like it’s 100% ok to ship gay relationships but it doesn’t make u an activist or exempt from homophobia, and u do need to examine how u interact w those stories to make sure you’re not objectifying oppressed ppl for ur own pleasure - we’re not fetish objects, we’re people

  • stop showing up to gay bars uninvited. stop having your bachelor/ette parties at gay bars. stop treating our only places to meet each other like your personal zoos.

  • don’t hit on gay men or lesbians, in earnest or as a joke. This includes hitting on gay ppl of your own gender bc you think it’s funny or bc you want to turn on your partner. don’t fucking ask us if you can watch us having sex. stop asking for sexual interaction altogether from people you know aren’t attracted to your gender. you will not be an exception.

  • don’t pressure ur bi partner to engage in a threesome they haven’t said they actually want. definitely do not hit on LGB+ ppl on behalf of your bi partner. wtf dude.

  • straight women, please stop calling your platonic female friends “girlfriends” or people you admire as “woman crushes”. Take some time to think about why you think just indicating she’s a girl is supposed to make it clear that your feelings toward someone are actually platonic, and how that makes lbpq women you know feel.

  • when someone comes out to you, don’t act like they’re suddenly a predatory pervert w no self control. don’t stop inviting them to events or start acting differently around them. we interact w ppl of our own gender all the fucking time w/o making it sexual, stop interpreting every interaction w a gay person as sexual in our minds, it’s almost certainly not. ur not that irresistible, stop making it weird.

  • don’t pretend our existence is 100% about how we have sex. that means stop making excuses to not tell children about us! don’t act like we shouldn’t be gay in public! don’t act like your weird kinks make your experience remotely equivalent to ours! (stop ‘coming out’ as kinky you creeps!)

  • don’t demand we present a desexualized and platonic image of our existence and relationships at all times. we have wildly varying sex lives and levels of complexity in our relationships to sex, just like you do.

  • don’t ever EVER use the word h*m*sexual, it’s considered a slur bc it was used for medicalized justifications for our torture. there’s a reason 99% of the usage of that word today is by anti-gay groups.

*tbh this is really just @ straight cis ppl even tho it’s abt gayness since honestly most of these do not apply to straight trans ppl, bc straight trans ppl are an integral part of the same communities/face many of the same issues - and almost always have better fucking manners.

kicking you out

for the anon who asked for a groupchat celebrity au with twitter. ik this isn’t exactly what you asked for, but i will do a proper celebrity au one day. probably. dedicated to my wife @jiilys bc she deserves all this and more


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: thanks for tuning in last night! check us out next week when we’ll be discussing whether sand dollars should be a viable form of currency

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: james no one cares about ur stupid fuckign radio show

James Potter (@jimsradio) retweeted: ur the co-host

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: i dont see how thats a relevant piece of information


Remus Lupin (@remuslupout) tweeted: @jimsradio why do you have pine trees listed as your topic for next week

James Potter (@jimsradio) retweeted: why not

James Potter (@jimsradio) retweeted: theyr an important part of our capitalist, consumer-driven society

Remus Lupin (@remuslupout) retweeted: is this just because you couldn’t come up with a better topic

James Potter (@jimsradio) retweeted: r u insinuating that i had no ideas and decided on pine trees bc there happens to be one outside peters bedroom window

Remus Lupin (@remuslupout) retweeted: yes

James Potter (@jimsradio) retweeted: fair


James Potter to radioheads: how about we have remus as our special guest next week

Sirius Black: i have legitimately never heard of a worse idea

Remus Lupin: good luck driving yourself to the lido next week then dickhead

Sirius Black: i already lost that job

Remus Lupin: why am i not surprised

Sirius Black: jokes on u lupin, ur the one who’s been driving me 40 minutes out of your way every morning for nothing

Remus Lupin: fucker


Remus Lupin to James Potter: we need more advertising

James Potter: ?? we have plenty of advertising

Remus Lupin: we have the same ad for your dad’s hair gel playing every break on a ten minute loop

James Potter: ?? what’s ur point


Peter Pettigrew to james you know i love monty but we need more advertising: guys 2, 141 people listened in last week

Remus Lupin: are you kidding

James Potter: result!!!!

Sirius Black: was that the one where we talked about freaks & geeks conspiracy theories

Remus Lupin: no that was the one where you talked about crunchy chips vs squishies

Remus Lupin: do you even listen to the show

Sirius Black: im the co-host thank you very much

Remus Lupin: could’ve fooled me

Sirius Black has removed Remus Lupin from the chat.


Sirius Black (@blacksheep) tweeted: @petepettigrew i still cant believe u prefer squishies to crunchies

Peter Pettigrew (@petepettigrew) retweeted: what?? theyr more flavoursome


James Potter to Sirius Black: remus has been our special guest for the past five episodes i think we need someone new

Sirius Black: what about pete

James Potter: pete does sound

Sirius Black: then get someone else to do sound

James Potter: u, my friend, are a genius


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: we need someone with tech experience to do our sound booth pls and thank


Peter Pettigrew to fifa plays would make a shitty topic: I thought I was sound technician??

James Potter: u can still be sound technician we’re just having u as our special guest

Sirius Black: im not sure i can handle having a special guest who thinks squishies r better than crunchies

James Potter: ??? u were the one who suggested pete in the first place

Sirius Black: i was?? funny that

Peter Pettigrew: i hate u all


Lily Evans (@liljane) tweeted: @jimsradio i have two years worth of tech experience and can do friday evenings if ur still looking for a sound technician


James Potter to shitdick central™: holy shit check out the chick who just applied for techie

Peter Pettigrew: who is she

Remus Lupin: lily evans

Remus Lupin: she had her own radio show a couple of years back with this really awful guy

Remus Lupin: it was really popular

Peter Pettigrew: the radio show or the guy

Remus Lupin: ?? the radio show

Remus Lupin: the guy turned out to be a massive racist

Remus Lupin: in her last interview she called him ‘an abusive fuckface’

Sirius Black: i say we hire her

James Potter: seconded


Remus Lupin to James Potter: is the only reason you want to hire her is because you think she’s hot

James Potter: do you really think i’m that shallow

Remus Lupin: yes


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: @liljane you’re hired. i’ll dm you the details


Sirius Black to i’m not shallow remus i just have an appreciation for the finer things in life: i cant believe that you both literally and figuratively slid into her dm’s

James Potter: im blocking u


James Potter to what the fuck is an aardvark anyway: that went rather well if you ask me

Sirius Black: ?? it was a fucking atrocity

Sirius Black: you were staring at her the whole time

James Potter: no i wasn’t

Remus Lupin: you missed five of your queues

James Potter: ok, so maybe i was a little off

Sirius Black: there were more awkward silences than that one time peter tried to pick up rosmerta at the three broomsticks

Peter Pettigrew: you promised you wouldn’t bring that up again!!

Sirius Black: sry pete, desperate times call for desperate measures


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: make sure to check us out at our new time of 7:00pm fridays!!

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: you do realise no-one actually watches this show

Lily Evans (@liljane) retweeted: he’s right you know

James Potter (@jimsradio) retweeted: i hate both of u


Lily Evans to James Potter: can u stop making jokes about lamps

James Potter: i don’t know what u filamean


Peter Pettigrew to wes anderson is better than quentin taratino and you know it james: ALMOST 10K PEOPLE LISTENED IN LAST NIGHT

James Potter: HOLY SHIT

Lily Evans: james u owe me $50 and your 1st edition copy of the great gatsby

James Potter: i’d rather die

Lily Evans: then die, jim

Remus Lupin: christ

Sirius Black: u called??

Peter Pettigrew: what even is this group chat


James Potter to Lily Evans: was that u tearing up i saw in the sound booth when i was reading out my piece about foreshadowing in the simpsons

Lily Evans: i was tearing up over how bad it was

Lily Evans: there was something in my eye

Lily Evans: i think it was your complete lack of a writing style

James Potter: stop it


Lily Evans (@liljane) tweeted: petition to kick sirius out of the group chat bc he won’t stop talking about scooby doo conspiracy theories at 3am

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: i can scooby do what i want

Lily Evans (@liljane) retweeted: blocked


James Potter to Sirius Black: WHERE ARE YOU WE’RE ON IN 5

James Potter: sirs

James Potter: where r you

Sirius Black: ran in tp regulus at the cineplex

James Potter: where are you now

Sirius Black: field next to cneplex

James Potter: don’t move


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: sorry that there was no show this week folks!! sirius got mauled by a bear and i had to drive up to toronto to help amputate his right arm

Remus Lupin (@remuslupout) retweeted: @jimsradio who’s going to wank you off now

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: @remuslupout bitch im left-handed


Sirius Black to velma, daphne and fred: i’m sure evans would do it for you james

Lily Evans: you want to lose the other arm black


Peter Pettigrew to cry me a river lupin: maybe we should make our group chats accessible to the public to get more hits

James Potter: i would but no one wants to see screenshots of sirius in a bra

Sirius Black: by no-one do you mean everyone


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: thank you guys so much for 20k hits the other night!! more content coming


Sirius Black to bitches bitchin: GRAHAM NORTON TONIGHT BITCHES

Lily Evans: are you sober

Sirius Black: am i ever sober

Lily Evans: good point


James Potter to sirius stop changing the group chat name while graham is in the middle of asking you questions: i think that went well

Lily Evans: james im leaving you for graham norton

Sirius Black: not if i leave him first


Severus Snape (@halfbloodprince) tweeted: @jimsradio feel like keeping your hands off my co-host you wanker??


James Potter to i haven’t been able to listen to eyes on fire by blue foundation since they played it over bella and ryan’s scene in eyewitness: how are we gonna handle this

James Potter: my vote is firmly rooted in manslaughter

Lily Evans: leave it to me

Lily Evans: but keep manslaughter as a backup


Lily Evans (@liljane) tweeted: @halfbloodprince i wonder what it’d be like to not be so ridiculously self-involved as to impose yourself where you’re strictly not wanted?

Lily Evans (@liljane) tweeted: @halfbloodprince stay out of my life or you’ll be receiving numerous calls from my lawyer


Lily Evans to manslaughter: yes or no: its sorted

Sirius Black: you don’t even have a lawyer

Lily Evans: he doesn’t know that


James Potter to Lily Evans: whats a rlly interesting and extensive subject we could cover this week

Lily Evans: milk

James Potter: excellent


Lily Evans to tangled is so much better than frozen: im at the studio and i have liquor

Sirius Black: be there in 5

Peter Pettigrew: can u pick me up

Sirius Black: McNo™

Remus Lupin: i regret the day i gave u that keyboard shortcut

Sirius Black: i dont


James Potter to Lily Evans: r u ok

Lily Evans: fine just sistet stuff

James Potter: u sound trashed

Lily Evans: thsts bc i Am

James Potter: where r u

Lily Evans: blcony

Lily Evans: jim

Lily Evans: can u tak e me hpme

Lily Evans: jaems

Lily Evans: i love you


Lily Evans to James Potter: what did i say last night

James Potter: nothing its fine

James Potter: don’t worry about it

Lily Evans: i am worried about it

James Potter: don’t be

James Potter: see you at work


Remus Lupin to James Potter: whats goin on between u two

James Potter: ???

Remus Lupin: you know what i mean

Remus Lupin: you keep looking at her and looking away

Remus Lupin: she keeps forgetting to give you your queues

James Potter: probably distracted by that hickey on your neck

Remus Lupin: i TOLD you i FELL OVER


Lily Evans (@liljane) tweeted: thank you guys so much for 100k! i’ve made @jimsradio promise to change his username if we make it to 1mil in the next two months

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: he should change it to @wanker

Lily Evans (@liljane) retweeted: i checked its already taken by @halfbloodprince


Sirius Black to james potter and co: can you and evans stop eye-fucking during the sets

James Potter changed the chat name to i dont know what you’re talking about.

Sirius Black changed the chat name to yes u do.

James Potter changed the chat name to do not.

Sirius Black changed the chat name to do too.

James Potter changed the chat name to do not.

Remus Lupin: you guys know she’s getting all of these right

James Potter: shit


Lily Evans to James Potter: u have something u want to tell me

James Potter: i’d rather do it in person,,,,,if thats ok

Lily Evans: only if we announce our engagement during a set

James Potter: deal


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: we hit 1mil! also @liljane and i are fucking

Remus Lupin (@remuslupout) retweeted: about time

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: you don’t say

Remus Lupin (@remuslupout) retweeted: i do say

Peter Pettigrew (@petepettigrew) retweeted: im blocking both of u

Lily Evans (@liljane) retweeted: r u gonna hold up your end of the bargain @jimsradio

James Potter changed his username to @lilandjimsradio.

Lily Evans (@liljane) retweeted: nice

been reading a lot of klance fics lately so i thought i’d share it w you guys!! here’s 14 of them and definitely my favorites. comes with the title (duh), description, a review by yours truly, and link to the fic. the writers of said fics also have some gorg other masterpieces so be sure to check those out!

1. ) Smile for the Stars by maIikcutie

description

Though he’s been dealt many bad cards, Lance isn’t sure he can handle this one: winding up stranded, a million lightyears away from home, with only Keith to keep him company.
The universe is cruel.

review

amazing a+++ fic but i strongly advise not to read this unless you are willing to live the rest of your life broken hearted and Sad. i promise ur heart will be wrecked but in the best way possible!!! a buncha artists on tumblr made art for this so be sure to check those out & also there’s a epilogue-ish thing for this that dulls the pain a lil less and its called The Stars Smile Back in case yall were interested

2. ) Dirty Laundry by Gibslythe

description:

“Two whole months of free laundry in exchange for two weeks of being my fake boyfriend. Deal?”
Keith hesitated for a moment. Was this really worth it? Hardly. Lance was an asshole, and he wasn’t sure what fake dating would entail. But, free laundry was free laundry, right?
“Alright, it’s a deal.”
Or: Lance makes the mistake of telling his Mom he has a boyfriend coming home with him for Christmas. Keith makes the mistake of agreeing to be Lance’s ‘fake boyfriend’.

review:

if u love slow burn then BOY ur gonna love this !!!! mama lance is so warm i luv her !!! fake dating aka one of my fav tropes so 11/10 and i just rly love this ok im in tears

3. ) call me, beep me by safra

description:

(00:31) Do you think she gave me the wrong number on purpose?
(00:31) Or was it a genuine mistake?
(00:32) Like maybe she writes funny and I misread it?
(00:32) Some of the numbers do look a little dodgy…
(00:33) Cause, you know, her threes couldvery easily be poorly formed eights? And maybe she writes her sevens like her ones?
(00:45) What
(00:46) The
(00:46) Fuck??
(00:47) Oh good, you are awake!
where lance messages the wrong number and things kind of snowball from there

review:

i love through-chat fics therefore i am so in love with this!!!!!! your everyday "wrong number” trope but so so so much better!!! cute and happy

4. ) Seasons by fairietailed

description: 

“Do you think we’ll be together, still, by the time we make it home?”
Lance is quiet for a moment, thinking. Then he says, “That depends. Do you plan on going somewhere?”
Keith laughs, threading his fingers through Lance’s hair.
“No, I suppose I don’t.”

review:

their relationship is just SO PURE AND SOFT and so well written i’m in luuuv but the open ending will shatter and will most likely rip u apart

5. )  Don’t Break Connection, Baby by princedeadend

description:

Keith works part-time as a phone sex operator and receives a prank call from Lance. This does not go as planned for Lance. Thus begins the adventure of our dear sweet idiot continuing to call Keith to fuck with him (but not like fuck fuck with him…at least not yet). And y'know, eventually having legit conversations with him and getting attached and growing on Keith.
aka the phone sex operator fic no one asked for

review:

this is soooooooooo cute and adorable and wow i luv ittttt!!! made me smile so hard it hurts

6. ) He Who Fights Monsters by magisterpavus

description:

In a world where monstrous dragons terrorize humanity daily, the Garrison trains valiant Knights to slay the evil beasts and defend Earth. But when Knight cadet Lance Espinosa is kidnapped by a strange red dragon who kills its own kind, certain truths are revealed…and so are the true monsters.

review:

oh my god the buildup may be slow but i promise it’s worth it like everything just falls perfectly into place !!! and its so adorable and creative and just wow not ur usual klance fanfic and that just makes it 1000x better and also,,, dragons !!

7. ) Bonding Time by magisterpavus

description:

“Shiro, I fucked up,” Keith blurted, wringing his hands.
Shiro paused mid-punch, shooting him a quizzical look. “What? What happened?”
“I think,” Keith whispered, “I think I accidentally roofied Lance. With my dick.”

review:

galra keith will always and forever be my fav au so this is a definite fav for me !!! i love the other 3 sequels it comes w too!! and nsfw content too dont even lie ik u guys are thirsty for that

8 .) Just Static by Jessadilla

description:

–Static—-
-iro, Hunk, Kei—, nybody? I’m—-
-static–
–I’m sorry guys. This is all my–
–static–cc–
—I found my coordinates. They’re–
-stttcc-
-guys. I hear something—
–scccc-
-end transmission-
Alone on a hostile planet, transmissions aren’t getting through. How did it come to this?

review:

this fic got me sad and crying in the middle of the night )’: wont leave u too sad tho the ending is pretty nice

9. ) What a Healing Pod Can’t Repair by Remember_Me

description:

The compromised wormhole was ripping apart at the seams, sending everyone spiraling away in completely different directions. Lance could feel himself being pulled and bent in ways he was definitely not supposed to be.

Stitching the team back together after everyone is separated is difficult, and for one Paladin rescue wouldn’t be coming for a very long time.

review:

no words. literally no words. this was so painful and just wow the buildup will shatter u i swear )’: also poor bb lance i sob. comes with cool-looking art which makes it a whole lot better

10. ) Seen: 5:29 by SpeedOfSins

description:

AU where Keith is some important guy who has a business suit, and lance is a good housewife. (tha ts a lie, i honestly dont have a summary but this fic hurts, i have been told by at least 3 people)
Written in text format

review:

will wreck u, beware!! may be short but enough to bring u to tears honestly

11. ) On Thin Ice by Minadora

description:

Once upon a time, two Canadian nerds decided to start a figure skating au about their two space sons and their wonderful misfit friends. Ten pages of headcanons later we finally put electronic pen to electronic paper and created this monstrosity. This multi-chapter fic chronicles the lives of a hockey player named Keith who gets forcibly enlisted into figure skating lessons by his brother, Shiro, to “work on his footwork”. There he meets a pompous - yet talented - figure skater named Lance and gets swept away by both the sport and the skater.
Enjoy the ride because it’s only just started.

review:

the description says it all !!!!! a fic beloved by the vld fandom and gosh whats not to love honestly???? also the whole gang is so happy !!! (sidenote: this is unfinished and its killing me)

12. ) I bet you look good on the dancefloor by xShieru

description:

“So like in 'Step Up’?” Allura shrugs. “Now that you put it like that - yes. I guess it’s just like in 'Step Up’.” The smile that she sends Shiro’s way - followed by a shy wave, eugh - is sickening to say the least, and Lance still doesn’t believe in dance camps.
-
Lance McClain’s dancing career begins and ends with Keith.
Keith just wants to find out what Lance’s deal is.

review:

if u love step up ur gonna LOVE this !!!! i love it so so so so much can i just say and wow keith is so hot ffs

13. ) thunderstruck by xShieru

description:

Lance doesn’t pine for anyone ever, Keith’s never been to a dance, Hunk tries his best to be supportive, Shiro is very done, and Pidge steals a car.But hey, it could’ve been worse.

review:

space prom!!!!!!! and cute pining gays!! whats not to love about that?

14. ) In English, Please

description:

Lance thinks he can get away with flirting with Keith if it’s in Spanish. Lance thinks if he says the words angrily enough no one will catch on to the ruse. Lance thinks his secret crush is safe. Lance, my friends, is very…very wrong.

review:

two words - too. cute. i can’t even with this fic

Lonely Blue Boy

ive been reading Hamlet in class, which is a really epic tragedy where everyone dies, and i thought of some langst stuff bc why not? So i decided to share my pain with you all! Hope you enjoy!(or not cuz ur hearts can break like mine) OHH and the name for this AU??, iguess, is caled “Lonely Blue Boy.”

*NOTE* i think this is going to be in parts cuz this is already long af and the dying part will come out later?? ii guess. 

*NOTE* Mhhhhh idk if i like it alot but i guess…. it was really hard for me to write it so bear with me!

  • Lance didn’t know, didn’t understand, didn’t comprehend how it had happened. He did however, understand that one moment everyone was fighting together. He understood that Keith was recklessly going into fights slashing and cutting every Galra in his way with Shiro calmly protecting him from any attacks that Keith wasn’t able to see. And Pidge, Pidge was sliding between Galra and electrocuting any who crossed their path with Hunk right behind them throwing off anyone who tried to go behind Pidge. And Lance? Lance was far away, but not too far, up in a tree, shooting anyone who dared get behind his team. He understood that he had to keep shooting and aiming and shooting and not paying attention to anything else. (bc who else could have their backs except their sharpshooter?) 
  • Which is why he didn’t understand how he ended up on the ground with his lungs struggling to breath and his ears ringing and his eyesight spotted and his whole body in pain. He didn’t understand why he couldn’t get up or why he couldn’t feel his leg. What had happened? He wasn’t able to hear. Why couldn’t he hear? Why did his throat hurt so much? Why couldn’t he feel his leg? Where were the others? What had happened? 
  • Lance was in a state between being conscious and unconscious. He tried so hard to stay awake but would succumb to the darkness. He couldn’t hear or see. He couldn’t move. He didn’t know what was happening around him. Where was Hunk? Why wasn’t he here? Why weren’t the others coming over? Didn’t they see that Lance was hurt? He didn’t know how long it had been since he fell. Was it minutes or hours? Did they forget about him? God, he hoped not, he thought as he passed out.
  • He woke up throwing up. He threw up until there was nothing else to throw up. After finishing his deed, he looked around and decided that the best thing to do was to drag himself up to a tree. Bad idea. As soon as he started to move, his head spinned and his eyesight got spotted. But he really needed to sit against a tree. Needed to see what was around him. Needed to see how injured he was. So slowly but surely he made his way to the neared the tree. It would have been much more easier if he could walk but at the moment he was sure that was not possible. After a few agonizing seconds, or minutes, Lance was leaning up against a tree. 
  • And god, was he in really bad shape. His leg. Dios Mio. His leg. Was his leg ever this flexible? Twisted at a totally not safe angle, his leg had a cut running from his mid thigh all the way to his lower calf. That was definitely the worst part of his injuries. Yeah he had other minor ones, including a concussion,maybe, but they weren’t nearly as bad as his leg. Lance tried his best to patch up his leg but just slightly touching it made him scream. Through the pain, Lance managed to somewhat patch up his leg to stop the bleeding. Once he was done, he passed out again. 
  • This time he woke up delirious and in pain. How long had it been? Hours? Days? Lance had waited. He waited and waited and waited. And while he waited, he noticed that the ringing in his ears had stopped. The ringing had stopped but it was eerily quiet around him. He still couldn’t hear. Were his eardrums busted? Or did he hit head too hard? He looked down to the patch on his leg and found it already covered in blood. He felt sick again. Where was everyone? What had happened? Were they okay? He was about to pass out again when he saw something from the corner of his eyes. He weakly scrambled for his bayard but the pain made it hard for him. So he resigned and looked up at the approaching figures. 
  • Allura and Coran. They were here. They came for him. But was it too late? Lance couldn’t hear what they were saying and could barely make out their faces. It hurt, alot. Everything hurt. All Lance wanted was to close his eyes. So he did. 
let me love you (jefferson x reader x alex)

request : modern au??? angsty stuff !?? ooH basically ur eliza and Alex cheats on u and then u get pissed & break up w him and then go hook up w Jefferson to piss him off but then that becomes a thing and now Alex regrets everything (-anon)

warning : slight smut , angst, cussin, alex cheated so 

a/n : wooo writers block send me more requests. also its not v anon i know who sent this bc she kept on texting me to do it. 


“alex? what the fuck is this?” you choked, throwing your phone at him. Maria had texted you. is this y/n? im so sorry that i had to let you know this way. i just found out you are with alexander… we have been hooking up for about two months. im so so sorry he told me he was single. 

Keep reading

Every Time You Call

*click through to read on ao3!

written by: Mel | @caramelkru

prompt: ‘modern day fic where bellarke decide to send nudes to each other even though they’re just friends? ’ for anonymous

word count: 1406


[10.42pm] bellamy?

[10.45pm] Clarke

[10.45pm] ok good. just making sure u’re holding ur phone

[10.46pm] … What??

[10.47pm] Clarke sent an image

[10.49pm] Uh

[10.49pm] That is

[10.50pm] stop typing n backspacing n typing again u can ditch the awkward idk-whats-goin-on spiel i just needed to vent

[10.51pm] With a picture of your boobs?????

[10.51pm] … Those are YOUR boobs, right?

[10.53pm] yes very much mine

[10.54pm] i’m making up for all the unsolicited dick pics out there in the world

[10.54pm] By sending an unsolicited boob pic?

[10.54pm] boob pics are always solicited

[10.55pm] Fair point

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I know you have already done a lot of the ship posts (and they are all phenomenal and accurate af) but can you pretty please do Jesper and Wylan from six of crows/crooked kingdom? Xoxo <3 <3 I can't get enough of your writing tbh! Your such an inspiration, dude. <3 <3 <3 <3

I’m SO sorry this took so long, you’re such an absolute sweetheart and also christ I’ve never been called an inspiration before holy.. god

also heck i love wesper this is a treat

SEND ME A SHIP AND I’LL TELL YOU… 

who is more likely to hurt the other?

don’t.. do this

they’re genuinely so good neither of them would ever TRY to hurt the other, and they’re both so tender and apologetic if they ever do. I think I’m gonna have to say jesper though just because. he’s still a little stirred by his addiction (to trouble! to bringing two guns to a gun fight! to gambling! to love!) and he’s got some jealousy and sensitivity baked into him, bless him. I feel like he’d run a risk and break Wy’s heart by accident, a little bit

who is emotionally stronger?

a genuine toughie bc they’ve both survived and persevered so MUCH. I think in terms of immediate reactionary instincts, Jes is better at letting bad vibes roll right off of him. He’s made of smiles. He’s trouble and a good time rolled into a waistcoat. If you insult him he only gets stronger. Wy was raised in silk and champagne but he was raised BY an absolute monster so. he’s a very bruised peach. criticism pierces him v easily. Though in a more fundamental way, wylan has fashioned his past trauma into a shield. by the end of ck he’s building himself new emotional strength with his bare hands

who is physically stronger?

ohhh man. They’re both noodle boys. Wylan is too smart for exercise. Jesper does his fighting at a 20 metre distance from his target. Jesper is bigger than wylan but most of his size is gangly and delightful and awkward. I think jes could probably still beat wylan in a pinch, but I’m more caught up in how funny it would be to see them try to fight it out

who is more likely to break a bone? 

man I’m tempted to say jesper just bc he seems like he would be…… brittle. I think he gets into scrapes a lot. I think wylan starts to get into p frequent scrapes by nature of being the sixth crow. I think the both of them are so busy worrying about each other’s fights that they neglect their own and trip off a building or smth

who knows best what to say to upset the other? 

I think wylan can be a nasty piece of work when he’s pissed enough. like he may be a silk eared puppy but he’ll chew your shoes and track mud around if you forget to feed him. jesper doesn’t have a malicious bone in his body man, I think he’s a sarcasm queen and a joker but he’s definitely not mean

who is most likely to apologize first after an argument? 

I think jesper’s constantly assuming he did something wrong and he sits down with wylan 100% serious like ‘babe.. im so, so sorry. I never wanted to be the sort of person who made you look sad like that, we’re past that, I truly made a promise–’ and wy would be like ‘what no I was sad bc a screw on my flute is loose and I couldn’t practice today’. but also yeah if it’s a serious fight they make up in a rush, and they laugh at themselves, and they use their energy for something better

who treats who’s wounds more often? 

here’s the thing about the crows man, they’re always sustaining minor injuries as a team and it’s a win if they live, right? All I can picture is the roar of activity when they pull off a job and they come back limping and bleeding and swearing and crowing w joy, and jes and wy take their seats opposite each other and clean wounds, kiss foreheads, smooth back sweaty curls, squeeze hands, make promises. the routine, u kno

who is in constant need of comfort? 

uhhh both of them (it’s always both my guy jot that down). Wylan has 16 years of shitty imposed self loathing to unlearn, and traumatic experiences all over him. jes has lost a lot (including his mom) and he struggles with addiction so like. yeah they both need comfort. they both wake up w the phantom feeling of a mother’s arms around their shoulders. they’ve both seen the very worst of humanity. They’re just two nervy, high stress kids trying to figure things out

who gets more jealous? 

lmao WYLAN VAN ECK did y’all read his scenes in crooked kingdom that boy is NOT SHARING. he glared real holes in kuwei’s head guys. jesper tbh is a terrible flirt and a HANDFUL and wylan is happy. to have his hands full. no one else.

who’s most likely to walk out on the other? 

mmm nahhh

who will propose? 

u bet ur ASS it’ll be jesper. Imagine wylan’s blushing face…… he’d do it for that alone. tbh there’s probably a point in their relationship where jesper’s outrageous flirting isn’t enough to get that pretty blush from wylan like he’ll roll his eyes and shove jes in the shoulder and w/e but they have to have increasingly ridiculous conversations about kinks or w/e until that blush comes out. jesper’s like ‘dang. guess I gotta step up the romance. what’s the most romantic thing? marriage? marrying wylan? son absolutely where do i sign’

who has the most difficult parents?

lmao lm a o lmaooo Lmao LMAO lmao

who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public? 

I feel like depending on the social climate of Ketterdam, hand holding might not be on the table?? especially for two criminals associated w the bastard of the barrel like idk man I can’t picture it. they don’t want to draw attention to themselves (well i mean. jes wants to. but they can’t). I think they’re all about sly glances and the most obvious smirks you’ve ever seen, and brushing shoulders!! brushing shoulders are their makeouts

who comes up for the other all the time? 

they’re always together man bf’s that blow shit up together and live together stay together so like they rarely have the opportunity to talk about each other. howEVER jesper probably mentions his boyfriend in the middle of a hand of poker w an inappropriate smile or gushes to w/e prisoner he’s breaking out of jail or makes Kaz’s day weird by trying to confide in him

who hogs the blankets? 

wylan is exhausted w luxury and jesper is a child who wants to be held so he rolls over and then over again so that wy always wakes up to a lapful of boyfriend and a roll of blankets and he has to wait for jesper’s heavy sleeper ass to arise so he can get up to pee 

who gets more sad? 

booooth – jesper is understated sad with a side of unnerving frowns, wylan is a wobbling mouth and clenched fists. Sometimes they stay in the Wylan Van mansion and lock the doors so the maids can’t come in, and they bring the lavish decorative pillows into a heap on the carpet and feed each other sweets and rub each others backs and laugh and laugh the darkness away. wylan sketches. jesper poses. there’s scheming & kaz impressions. jesper is a storyteller and he imagines out loud what nina or inej are up to at that very minute, controlling gravity and hearts and the sea and their lives 

who is better at cheering the other up? 

see above ^^ they both go pro at the comfort olympics. Jesper is that little bit better though. He’s a sweetheart with all the right words in his pockets. He knows how to chop wylan’s dad down like the overgrown dead tree that he is. he knows how to flirt a smile onto wy’s face. he maybe lacks delicacy sometimes, but he’s so fun and wholehearted and warm that he can’t really go wrong

who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?

this is canon y’all, jesper is a lecherous bastard and wylan is equal parts disdain and delight. he absolutely will slap a boy

who is more streetwise?

god bless wylan but he knows a hell of a lot less about the streets than jes. He’s learning fast by the end of ck, but he’s still very sheltered in a lot of ways. Jesper has a few years under his belt, and he’s.. like tbh he’s a part of a gang so. He’s seen a lot. He’s participated in a lot. He has a pretty steep list of kills, same as every other survivor out there. He’s detached from the deaths but he’s been on the other side of a lot of bullets that have crumpled people up and thrown them in the trash. He knows his business, too. He knows Ketterdam. Well. Wy knows the half of it Kaz wants him to see.

who is more wise?

Wylan is utterly brilliant and Jesper is wholeheartedly here for it. What was that line again? ‘you’re cuter when you’re smart’? Wylan can think his way out of just about anything, the world belongs to him. jsyk

who’s the shyest? 

Wylan absolutely what a sweetie. I mean a lot of it stems from unfortunate self esteem issues and a history of being burnt but a lot of it is pure soul deep candy sweet embarrassment and not knowing what to do w his own cute face. He doesn’t know how to deal w people a lot of the time. he knows sheet music & formulas. he does not know how to look at a boy with beautiful lips all curled up at him and not pass out

who boasts about the other more? 

jesper is loudmouthed usually and he’s that much more loudmouthed when he’s in love, catch him talking to anyone who will listen about wy’s stupid face 

who sits on who’s lap? 

jesper would definitely try it, don’t even test him, he would fold all his crane limbs into wylan’s lap and say ‘hello peaches’ and wylan would have to slide both of them onto the floor to escape his embarrassment. on a good day, jes’ll scoop wylan into his lap and he’ll feel quiet, for a while

Muse - “Crazy Hypotheticals”

oh my god!!!!!!!!!!!! an update!!!!!!! finally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i’m so sorry this took forever it’s almost 5am as i’m writing this and i love u and i really hope u like it because if you don’t or do, pls let me know bc my heart grows when you do and if u hate it i still wanna hear from ya bc i love a good roast !!!!
also: i hit 200 followers and i know it may not seem like much to some of you but i’m so new here and your support as been OVERWHELMING i absolutely adore all of you thank you thank you thank you thank you
this !! is !! 4 !! u !! og bitches !!!!

ANYWAYS PLS ENJOY THIS AND HAPPY OSCARS YOU GUYS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR UR LOVE AND SUPPORT AND *WIPING TEARS* I JUST LOVE U A LOT OK HERE WE FCKIN GO

summary: *to the tune of ‘what’s this’ from a nightmare b4 christmas* first date? first date!! there’s magic in the air! first date, firs- wait!!!! Karen, what should i wear!!!!!!!!!!
word count: 5600+ lmao kill me 
warnings: swearing !! as per usual i’m sorry yall i cannot help myself - also drinking, bad dancing, some terrible spanglish!!! lots of stuttering !!!! terribly formatted texting + facetime, lots of dopey smiles + way too many commas


part one / part two / part three 
               masterlist

HERE WE GO YALL CROSS YA FINGERS

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I know u don't rly do shinee but it's my birthday and it as wondering if you could do headcanons for what the members would be if they weren't idols? With maybe some romance mixed in? Your hcs are just rly good but if you don't want to do them then it's fine!!

hsfdc this is late, but i hope it is still ok!!! 
again, i usually don’t write for shinee but some others actually sent me asks asking for more of these guys and since it is your (quite late) birthday - here you go!!! 

shinee x career!au 

Onew

  • emergency room surgeon 
  • is insanely good under pressure and makes quick, good decisions and isn’t afraid of leadership roles. he keeps his whole team well managed and even in life or death situations for his patients - he never gives up on them or jumps to conclusions. if there’s even a one percent chance of surgery saving them, he’s willing to take those odds
  • looks really REALLY good in scrubs and like all the nurses argue over who’s going to work the ER night shift just so they can see doctor onew
  • everyone at the hospital assumes he’s a classic gentleman, and ok sure he might dress like one, but then you go out drinking with him and he’s all dad jokes, messy eating, and totally a goofball 
  • you’re on one of the night shifts at the hospital and it’s pretty dead, just people coming in with the stomach flu and what not so the surgery department is pretty much falling asleep where they stand 
  • and you’re walking by with some snacks that you brought down for them
  • and once you get to Onew you’re like “Doctor, are you hungry?”
  • and Onew gives you this random smile, one that looks way too excited and you’re like ???
  • and Onew shrugs and then goes “How can I be hungry, when I’m Doctor?”
  • and everyone around you groans because god how much more cheesy can you get 
  • but you - you damn near drop all the snacks you’re holding because you laugh so hard you try to use your hand to slap your knee but everything tumbles out of your hands and Onew gives you this shining grin because FINALLY someone has acknowledged his comedian side
  • and he helps you pick up the snacks and he’s like ‘want to hear another good joke?’ and you’re like yes please oh my god
  • and he tells you jokes the whole night because no surgeries come in and you end up in tears at how bad, but funny they all are
  • and when shift changes come along, Onew offers to go buy you breakfast if only so he can tell you more jokes (and you know,,,,,get to know you a little better because hey you think he’s funny and you’re mega cute)  

Key

  • dog show judge 
  • know way too much about dog fashion. like way too much. like no one should have this much knowledge on such an obscure topic
  • is universally feared and respected through the dog show community and anyone who participates is always worried about him because he has the highest standards
  • loves poodles. has a poodle shaped pen that he takes notes with when studying the contestants
  • if Key takes a photo with a dog, that dog becomes internet famous
  • owns 53 different ties all with different breeds of dogs on them
  • you’re a novice when it comes to dog shows, but your friend really wanted to enter her toy poodle in an upcoming event - too bad she got sick the day of and begged you to fill in
  • so you’re standing there in line and being judged by a bunch of well….other people with dogs
  • and your friends dog is dead about to roll over and fall asleep on your shows and you don’t know the first thing about dog show etiquette and you’re just a mess
  • and when you go up you see this handsome man in front of you whose eyes are piercing your soul and you’re like gulping and he’s like
  • “Well, what is your dogs name?” and you almost forget your own name when he speaks to you because wow dear god he’s - stunning but you mumble out the dogs name
  • and Key examines the dog like it’s some invaluable work of art and you see a small smile and you’re like ok ok ok he likes the dog
  • but then the portion where you have to walk the dog around the ring comes and you’re like trying to get the pup to budge but it wont and you can feel all these eyes on you and you’re like c’mon please,,,,,,
  • but then all of a sudden your friends dog bolts and pulls you along with the leash and you lose your footing and almost fall face first to the floor
  • but thankfully someone catches you around the waist, supporting you back to your feet and you look up and Key gives you a chuckle and he’s like
  • “First time?” and you nod your head, looking at him like a lost puppy and he’s like “You’re lucky you and the dog are cute.”
  • and with that he takes a hold of the leash from you, makes a clicking noise and the dog follows his commands perfectly as he walks the ring with it
  • and everyones whispering like oh MY god,,,,Key helped them out,,,, K E Y of all people,,,,
  • and when the show is over, your friends dog manages third place and you’re happy with that but when Key hands you the ribbon he slips in something else before leaving with a sly smile
  • and you look down to see a number on a piece of paper and it says ‘third place for a first timer is ok - but call me, and we’ll make that pup a winner.’
  • is Key asking you out because he thinks you’re adorable or because he thinks your friends dogs is adorable? im sure you’ll find out on your date~

Jonghyun

  • movie director 
  • aesthetics, a e s t h e t i c s, A E S T H E T I C S 
  • “how can such a loud voice come from such a tiny body?”
  • gives actors acting advice without ever having acted himself but the advice is actual super good tbh he’s very in demand for movies nowadays
  • loves directing tragedies. he lives for the Drama 
  • will openly criticize bad script writing and will demand changes if he thinks things aren’t working out
  • he basically tries to do 23354 jobs at once, but his passion for good movie making is why any movie he directs ends up being a blockbuster
  • you work on the lighting crew for jonhyun’s latest film and everyone around you is always complaining about him having a ‘stick up his ass’ because he’s a perfectionist 
  • but you always feel uncomfortable talking about him that way because you know how hard he works and how much effort he puts into things and so most of the time you just don’t take part of the conversation
  • until one day one of the interns turns to you during break and is like ‘what’s the directors problem? he keeps badmouthing the male lead - but that actor has like ten years of experience. the director is so damn full of himself’
  • and you want to just keep eating your sandwich but you’re like no Time to Spill the Tea
  • and you’re like “that actor has ten years of experience of bad acting. he debuted with a movie that was a flop and has only starred in flops since. jonghyun is trying to save his ass from another flop so really we all need to shut it and let him do his job because without him - that actor would probably be done for.”
  • and with that you excuse yourself and get up to go get some coffee from the refreshments tent but you walk straight into someones chest and you’re like eep- im sorr-
  • and you look up to see jonghyun and you’re like gfdkhlslfd oh m y god im sorry director-
  • but he just grins and suddenly puts his arm around you and is like “do you mean that? that im that actors saving grace?” and you’re like oH YOU HEARD
  • and jonghyun gives you a toothy grin again and is like “you don’t think i need to get off my high horse?” and you like shake your head like “tbh i dont think you were on a high horse in the first place, that actors just on the floor compared to you.”
  • that makes jonghyun laugh and he ruffles your hair a bit and you blush like,,, what’s he doing,,,,,
  • and jonghyun is like “it’s nice to have someone on your side in the crew - remind me to hire you again for my next movie.”
  • he gives your hair another ruffle and you’re like omgomomog he likes,,,me,,,enough to want to keep working with me omomomg
  • and tbh you can’t help but do a little victory cheer for yourself and jonghyun’s going back to re-read the script but he can’t stop himself from smiling because he’s like “who knew we had such cute people working for us,,,,,” (you. he’s talking about you)

Minho

  • sports broadcaster 
  • everyone loves him because he starts off relatively calm and you know he’s making comments about the teams strategy
  • but halfway into the game he’s pulling his tie loose and yelling into the mic and losing his goddamn mind over a game of soccer
  • and whenever korea gets a goal he belts out like half the national anthem and is like KOREA 4 LYFE
  • and he basically gets super hyped and in turn it gets everyone else super hyped and it becomes a party
  • once ripped his pants jumping up onto the announcers desk and almost mooned every1 on tv,,,,,,beautiful 
  • you’re his makeup artist and every time you’re like ‘Minho if you sweat a lot the concealer might come off-’ and he’s like ‘ok i promise i won’t start getting overworked’
  • but LOL that doesn’t last by the next commercial break you have to run over and wipe the sweat of and touch up his whole face
  • and you’re always grumbling like Minho,,,,you are killing me,,,,,
  • and he’s always apologetic giving you the damn puppy eyes and you’re like thAT DOESNT WORK JUST CALM DOWN AND DONT SMUDGE UR MAKEUP
  • but then the next break comes and you’re back over there to touch him up and one day you’re just like “i swear you’re worse than idols who have to sweat when they’re dancing - you’re just here getting worked up over-”
  • but then you feel his arm come up to touch your cheek gently and he’s like “really, i know it’s hard but im really happy you bare with me.”
  • and you look at him, a small bit of sweat still apparent over his brow and his deep set pretty brown eyes and you swallow like
  • oh,,,,,it’s nothing i was just saying that because,,,
  • and Minho’s lips curl up a bit into a smile and he’s like “after this don’t fix my makeup - just get your things so we can go get dinner.”
  • and your heart jumps but you’re like gflkgljfe ok 
  • and the camera man is like we’re back on in 5 seconds and you need to scramble off the set, but then you catch Minho’s eye and he winks and you’re like,,,,,,,,,oh,,,,,,
  • and you’re like he really is a sweet perso- and then he starts yelling and you can see him touching his face with his hands and you’re like MINHO YOUR MAKEUP GOD  DAMMIT

Taemin 

  • museum tour guide 
  • “what did you study in college Taemin, art history?”
  • “I studied Egyptology with a minor in mortuary science. Do you want me to tell you exactly how it was that they made mummies? I even know the step-by-step intestines extracti-” 
  • weird facts enthusiast 
  • refuses to wear the ‘suggested uniform’ of the museum staff which is light and friendly colors he’s fine wearing his black eyeliner, black jeans, and black large sweater that swallows him whole
  • tells kids about how the god seth murdered osiris and when parents are like isn’t that a bit explicit Taemin is like ‘death is a part of life, they know that - right kids? we all die, isn’t that fun?’
  • how he hasn’t lost his job is a mystery 
  • you’re at the museum looking for something fun to do for a freelance project and you’re like trying to gain inspiration from all the cool ancient gods but nothing’s coming to mind
  • and Taemin notices how you keep scrunching up your nose and writing things down only to cross them out hastily and curmple the paper
  • so he like comes over and is like ‘Need help? (—-:’ and you’re like sighing like ,,,,, no not re-
  • but then you look up at him and you’re like in your head like o wait no ur hot and so you’re like ‘yeah!! do you know anything cool about the Egyptian gods-’
  • Taemin puts up his hands and is like ‘Say no more. I’m the man you’ve waited for your whole life.’
  • and you’re a bit red like,,, oh,,,w-what and Taemin is like my shift ends in 5 minutes wait here
  • and that’s how you end up in a cafe across the street where Taemin unleashes the longest explanation of ancient gods that you ever thought you’d ever hear in your life
  • but somehow it is super entertaining, maybe because Taemin is so passionate or maybe because the topic is actually much cooler than you expected
  • and Taemin somehow finally stops and you’ve got a whole half book of notes and he’s like hope i helped!!! and you’re like you did more honestly how can i ever repay you 
  • and Taemin scratches the back of his neck and he’s like ahhh,,,wanna go see this new documentary coming out on King Tut with me? Unless that’s bori-
  • but you’re like YES let’s do it it’s a date and Taemin is like cracking out into this big smile because usually people don’t want to be around him when he’s geeking out over stuff he likes but you seem so eager and he’s just like before you leave he’s like 
  • “can i kiss your cheek?” and you’re like omg ,,,sure but why did you ask?? and Taemin is like “Goddess Isis would not be pleased if I didn’t ask you first-” and you’re like hehe cute 
~ still not gay ~

Word Count: 2 800

Genre: chat fic, coming out, coming to terms with sexuality, humour

Pairing(s): phan, tiny mention of kickthestickz

Warnings: swearing, so many spelling/grammar mistakes (all on purpose as it’s a chat fic), mentioned homophobia, sexual humour (not a lot)

Summary:

crabstickzzz has added PJ to the chat.
PJ: what?
dannyboy: chris and co. think im gay

A/N Shout out to the (formerly) ~ still not gay ~ chat, thanks for not believing I was straight. (Loosely based off my own unconventional coming out.)

Keep reading

Late nights - Reggie x Reader oneshot

Authors note,

hey this is my first fanfiction ever so please don’t kill me lol and it’s such a creative name hah I didn’t know what to name it but it’s just a fluff oneshot really, I don’t really know what this will categorize into oops and it’s a Reggie x Female Reader yay! Also please send me request I’m open for anything :)

Words - 1,237

Warnings - cussing oops



2:03 AM

I woke up to several messages by my boyfriend of 10 months. I clicked my phone on and saw his name.

Mantle


That was the name that popped up on my phone. I never called him by Reggie, not since 6th grade when I found out his last name. I unlocked my phone and read the texts he sent me.

“my baby sister keeps crying I can’t sleep my mom is literally so tired im gonna take over for her :/ ” delivered at 2:00 AM

 

Reggie’s mom had a baby just 2 months ago, I come over to babysit with Reggie every once and a while when her hands were full. I knew having a little sister made his family sleep deprived, and it showed during school.

 

“wish me luck lol” delivered at 2:00 AM

“I wish u were here, u have the magic touch when it comes to her, she wont stop crying.” delivered at 2:01 AM

“oh god she’s needs a diaper change” delivered at 2:02 AM

 

I facetimed him to see if he was okay.

“(Y/N)?”

“Mantle, you woke me up with your texts and I wanted to see if you were okay.”

I heard the sound of Julia crying at the top of her lungs through the phone.

“Julia hush please, I have school tomorrow and this really big test come on give me a break. (Y/N) I need you right about now, my mom and dad won’t mind, actually they might, but my parents like you too much and mom knows you can calm Julia down just like she can.” He whispers.

“Aw Mantle you know if I could I would, my mom is way too strict to let me go anywhere at this time.” I say looking at him trying to carry Julia and hold the phone at the same time. “please don’t drop the baby, put your phone down!” I tell him groggily.

“(Y/N) go to sleep.” he mumbled. “I need both of my girls happy and healthy.”

“You need it more than me. You have that huge ass test in 1st period!” I exclaim.

“Hanging up now (Y/N), I won’t pick up if you call. Baby go to sleep I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” He replies.

“But-“ I soon got cut off by him hanging up.”

I text him right after.

“you know ihy right?” sent at 2:34 AM

Mantle replies with,

“I love you too, goodnight”

With that I soon fall asleep.


I woke up suddenly to my alarm which read

7:35 AM (Y/N) get ur ass up

I got up quite lazily and began to do my morning routine.

A few moments later I go downstairs and greet my mom and dad. They know Reggie picks me up for school every morning so they are used to him.

Then my phone vibrates.

Mantle

“I’m coming up to your house now” delivered at 7:54 AM

“Mom, dad, Reggie is coming up to get me.” I only ever called him Reggie in front of my parents and his.

My parents nod in response. Then as if on cue I hear familiar knocks and open the door to a very cute but tired Mantle.

“Hello Mr. and Mrs. (Y/L/N)”

“Good morning Reggie, nice to see you again.” My mom says. My dad nods in response I still don’t think he is very comfortable with Mantle yet.

“(Y/N) you ready?” he asks.

“Yeah just let me grab my backpack.” I smile sweetly.

After grabbing my stuff, I say a quick goodbye to my parents and Mantle does the same, in a kiss ass way, he wants my parents to like him, not just tolerate him, but I know they like him well, at least mom does, dad is unclear.

While walking up to his car I ask him,

“Did you get any sleep? Did you eat? How’s your mom?”

He chuckles and says, “I got a solid 4 hour nap, no I didn’t eat, my mom is stressed but is doing a lot better I’ll tell her you’re thinking about her.  Also do you want to pick up donuts?”

“Mm yes please, I’ll go in and get them.” I say excitedly.

“(Y/N) I got it keep your money.” He says while opening the door for me to get in.

“Ha, you’re funny you literally paid the last 3 times.” I exclaim.

“Fine, (Y/N) only because I have no energy to argue with you, but little missy I’m paying the next time, and next time, and next time.” He grins while closing the door.

“Thank you.” I mouth while he goes to the driver’s seat.


Soon enough he’s in the car holding my hand while the other one on the wheel, I happily hand feed him donuts with my free hand. We soon walk into school and are greeted by Archie, Veronica, Betty, and Jughead.

“Hey guys, and Suicide Squad.” He smirks looking at Jughead.

I elbow him and glared at Reg harshly.

“Sorry.” He says immediately, I smile.

“Hey (Y/N) and Reggie.” Veronica, Betty, and Archie say while Jughead rolls his eyes saying Reggie’s name.

“I still wonder how you two ever got together, you both are so different but yet are perfect for each other.” Jughead admits.

The rest of the gang gives little statements agreeing to Jughead.

As if on cue, the bell rings for first period. Reggie walks me down to my class like he always does, hand in hand firmly.

“I’ll see you at lunch yeah?” I say to him tip toeing to peck him on the cheek.

“Of course (Y/N) I wonder why you even ask.” He replies sleepily.

Class went by so slow, Cheryl was in most of my classes, which did made it somewhat bearable. We’d always laugh at stupid little jokes.


Soon enough it was time for our hour lunch, we had an hour because we could go to tutoring or something for part of the lunch and eat. Everybody ate lunch at the same time. I meet up Mantle and he’s talking to Moose and his gang about whatever it is they talk about and I steal him away from them.

We sneaked food into the library and picked our usual spot on the floor, since the library is packed for the hour lunch and there were usually no seats at the table he puts his bag down and plugs his charger to the outlet we were sitting next to.

“How was the exam?” I asked him while pulling out notes to study for a test that was next period.

“I totally fucking failed it (Y/N).” He shrugs.

“I need to help you study Mantle.” I whisper to him.

“I’d be 100% passing all my classes if you helped me study.” He chuckles while trying to open a bag of chips quietly, but failing of course. The librarian didn’t even care.

“But for now, (Y/N), I want to take a nap.” He says and shuffles to put his head in my lap, finishing up the bag of chips. I kissed him on the forehead once he got comfortable

I ran my fingers through his hair and studied at the same time while he slowly fell asleep on my lap at the library like he seemed to do more and more since Julia was born. He looked comfortable on my lap so that was what happened while I listened to music on my earphones and studied.

Wow I love this man.  

anonymous asked:

Leela! my queen! i love your analyses so so much! ive been thinking about a little moment in the festive ditl where they are randomly predicting each other futures and joking around, phil says "you're gonna have dreams" and dan says "you're gonna have sex" was this a form a flirting? or were they just being silly, i have so many thoughts, cuz like its kinda represents their personalities, idk if im making sense but i would love to know ur thoughts on it! <3

omg you kind angel thank youuuuuu. hahah that part of festive ditl is so funny!!!! well i mean i think everything they do is a bit flirty so let’s just clear that up to begin with. but also, in this case they were reading the words off of that wheel! i don’t think a lot of people realize that? it’s really hard to see clearly bc of the lighting but under each segment there is a word written! here are some screenshots: 

as you can see there are words written in each little segment. right above dan’s arm it says “dreams” then on the right you can see “partnerships” “health” “duty” and “drama.” the one that says “sex” is literally impossible to see even with just contrast turned up as i did in that screenshot so i did some weird funky editing to make it a tiny bit easier: 

sorry if you already knew all this btw but i didn’t see it until like my fiftieth rewatch of this video so i just thought i would share it in case some people didn’t know! so yes, it’s not just the first thing that occurred to dan’s brain to say–he’s just reading it off of the wheel. that being said i think it’s still a pretty flirty interaction because dan kind of moves his hand to point to sex specifically and then obvi giggles at phil in that cute way right afterwards and then theres a v glaring jump cut so ??? ? ya. draw ur own conclusions people

College!AU Hoshi
  • major: acting 
  • minor: sociology 
  • sports: tried out for baseball team with seokmin but dropped it freshman year 
  • clubs: on campus dance team, theater ensemble 
  • like his best friend seokmin, hoshi is incredibly popular on campus. everyone knows him because he’s always being goofy w/seokmin or reciting lines from his memory in the quad while standing atop on of the benches
  • anyone who’s walked from one class to another has probably met hoshi on their way and hoshi probably gave them a flyer advertising the theater ensembles next performance and then made them pinky promise to come
  • and like people always go because hoshi is a natural born actor who manages to captivate people like magic and it’s obvious he’s going to make it 
  • choose sociology as a major to better understand human relationships and situations brought about in the real world and how to display them accurately through the characters he plays 
  • people are always telling him to audition for movies or tv shows and the thing is hoshi is much more in love with theater than he is with being on tv. his favorite thing ever is musical theater and aside from being the lead almost all the time , he also choreographs a lot of the dancing in the college productions 
  • everyone in the acting major calls him ‘genius 10:10:’ and one of his classes starts at 10:10am and the second he walks through the door he’s just like *finger guns* “it’s hoshi time”
  • the professor: no it’s ‘contemporary women playwrights’ class time. hoshi sit down
  • sometimes he’ll do method acting and come into class with a british accent or he’ll come in wearing a hakch’angui and everyones like ???? but hoshi has literally no sense of embarrassment 
  • makes business major mingyu practice his lines with him during lunch and mingyu’s like “literally. id rather be studying finances right now.” and hoshi’s like “read your lines.” and mingyu *trying to mimic a high pitched voice* “o-oh prince of my dre-” hoshi: “no no no, say it more romantically.” mingyu: “…….i will kill you.”
  • the theater majors have parties every time they complete one of their shows and honestly it’s like the most lit even on campus because everyone’s dancing around in the empty theater drunk out of their mind, playing around with props, and still in campus and whoever told you theater majors don’t know how to have fun is a LIAR hoshi tried to climb the curtains at one of the parties while still wearing his outfit from ‘peter-pan’ and claiming he was searching for captain hook, who, coincidentally had passed out in one the dressing rooms. tl;dr: theater majors get WILD
  • but otherwise hoshi’s the outgoing guy on campus who everyone wants to befriend or hangout with because he’s funny, cute, can dance, and will imitate your favorite actors if you ask him 
  • and you know him, you’ve been to a couple of the college theater’s shows and you’re impressed by him like everyone else. you never really think about approaching him though because his circle of friends is big enough so it’s more of like you know the name hoshi, but beyond that you two are strangers
  • which is why when you drop by the theater to ask if anyone has seen your friend who’s also part of the ensemble you’re surprised to see that hoshi is alone there pacing up and down the stage in a panic
  • and you call out to him like ask if he’s seen your friend around
  • and hoshi turns to you and jumps off the stage and makes a damn beeline to where you’re standing near the last row of seats and like
  • you’ve never seen him up close but now he’s standing like 4 feet away from your face and hurriedly he explains that your friend canceled on practicing with him because of a test and now there’s no one here to practice with and opening night is tomorrow and he’s basically like a frantic mess
  • and you’re like ?@@?@?!?@?!?!?/ “im sorry????? can’t you ask someone else-” and hoshi is shaking his head like “mingyu’s at study hall, wonwoo’s not answering his phone, minghao never reads lines with me, and seokmin- that rascal - he’s got a baseball game!” 
  • and then ………. and then hoshi snaps his fingers and his face completely changes and he’s like “are you free right now?”
  • and you can tell where this is going and you want to lie and be like “oooo i have lab gtg” but then again you don’t have lab and also you don’t want to lie to this person whose obviously in need of help and so you swallow and nod and hoshi smiles 
  • and stretches out to take your hand and put the script he’s holding into it 
  • and that’s how you find yourself standing on stage. alone. with hoshi. 
  • and out of all the plays it’s pride and prejudice (the musical version apparently) and the lines hoshi needs to practice the most are from darcy’s famous confession and like
  • as he’s getting into character you’re like sweating stammering over ur lines as elizabeth and like when ur done hoshi suddenly changes from a lively smiley boy you know him best as to this cold look in his eyes and he takes a step forward confidently and like 
  • the lines of the confession are really mature and use a lot of large words and hoshi sounds so eloquent and his tone drops to be lower and you’re honestly spellbound when he reaches out to touch your face and you’re supposed to smack his hand away but like ,,,, you can’t 
  • this serious side of hoshi, although it’s for the character he’s playing, has you basically starstruck and after a minute of just staring at him with your mouth open hoshi backs away and starts laughing like 
  • “are you frozen??” and you feel yourself turning red and you’re like “n-n-no!! i just- you got close so-” and hoshi points to the script like “yeah, i have to get close. but…..ill let you off since this is your first time doing a read-through. let’s try it again?”
  • and so you stand there on the stage with him and time passes and after a while you find yourself having a lot of fun, mostly do in part to how playful and encouraging hoshi is
  • like you’ve never acted in your life and all he needs you to do is read the words on the paper and do basic movements, but hoshi makes it fun and he compliments you on even the slightest thing and you’re like “he’s being friendly, don’t fall for it.” buT HOW Can you not 
  • his smiling face, his ability to make you feel at ease, the way he’s just so so so nice about everything
  • your heart just,,,,,,it just cracks 
  • finally you check your watch and see that’s already past 8 and you’re like fRICK i need to get to my dorm and start studying for tomorrows class and so you bow to hoshi and say you have to go
  • but before you grab your bag and run he takes a hold of your hand and pulls you back and is like “remember how i said tomorrow is opening night? promise you’ll come? the shows at 10!” and you nod like yeah yeah but you’re not thinking straight because you’re in panic trying to remember if tomorrow’s class has a quiz or not
  • and so you run out after he lets you go and you don’t see because you’re busy trying to sprint across campus but hoshi grins to himself and thinks he needs to put on a really good show tomorrow, better than usual, since someone he likes will be watching 
  • but the next day the fact that hoshi’s show is opening completely escapes your mind because it turns out there was a quiz and you’re so tired because you got to the dorm late and ended up studying the wrong section of your book and now you’re like im getting a ZERO its over and like everything else escapes you
  • it’s only when it’s around 10 pm and you get a text from your roommate that’s like “im gong to be late, @ the theater for pride and prejudice (:” and you’re like “ahhh sounds so fun………”
  • and then as you’re literally in bed in your pajamas about to Knock Out your eyes open and you’re like 
  • THE SHOW
  • HOSHI
  • I PROMISED HIM HDGKLW
  • but before you rush out in your mickey mouse pj’s you fall back on your bed and mumble that hey, you two aren’t even that close, he won’t mind or care
  • and with that it’s light out for you
  • but at the theater hoshi keeps scanning the crowd and seokmin’s whose backstage to wish him luck is like ??? my dude what are you looking for ?? and hoshi’s like “do you know this person……” and he says your name, describes how you look and seokmin’s like yEah i know them but why - you’re friends?? and hoshi’s like “if you see them, tell them to come backstage after - i owe them a thanks.” and seokmin shurgs like ok got it
  • but the show comes to an end and seokmin’s like sorry they didn’t show and hoshi’s smile falters and it’s the first time the rest of the theater ensemble has ever seen him look so defeated after opening night
  • and for the week after hoshi keeps thinking maybe you’ll stop by one of the shows but you never do because you think hoshi’s long forgot about your favor for him
  • until you’re sitting in the campus cafe with your laptop and someone taps your shoulder and you turn around to see minghao who you know from one of your classes and you’re like ??? and minghao gives you a note and he’s like
  • “hoshi told me to give this to you. i don’t know why he couldn’t do it himself, but he paid me so here i am.” and you take the note and open it and its tickets to the theater ensemble’s show + a message that says for you to stick around after the show is over and honestly you’re Confused
  • and you ask minghao if he can tell you where hoshi is right now and minghao’s like “sorry, hoshi paid me not to say that either.” 
  • you: how much 
  • minghao: 25 bucks. you wanna best the offer?
  • you:……………nvm then
  • and like minghao waves and leaves and you’re looking at the tickets and the note and you’re just like maybe he did notice the fact that i didn’t come to opening night?? 
  • but like you don’t want to jump to conclusions so you’re like you know a little hesitant in even going but you decide it’d be rude to pass up so you go
  • and the show, as expected, is amazing. hoshi does such a good job he makes the audience cry and people are going up at the end to hand him flowers and praise him and everyone’s chattering about hoshi and his parts
  • and you nervously stand around near the back row, unsure of what exactly you’re supposed to do since hoshi told you to stick around when suddenly the girl who played elizabeth comes up and takes your hand and is like “c’mon!” and you’re like AH?? and she’s like giggling and dragging you beind the stage
  • and the rest of the students, still in costume, greet you and finally she stops in front of someone with their back turned and she’s like “i brought them - Mr. Darcy!”
  • and you’re like ????? what the hell is this a movie?? am i dreaming?? am i on prank’d-
  • and the person turns and it’s hoshi still in costume (this story takes place in 18th century england so please imagine hoshi in breeches w like those coats and a puffy neck scarf p l e as e) and you’re like holding back a laugh and suddenly he starts speaking lines from the confession 
  • “in vain I have struggled. It will not do. my feelings will not be repressed. you must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire-” 
  • and someones from the back is like “WE GET IT DARCY JUST ASK THEM ON THE DATE”
  • and hoshi is like im GEtting TO it 
  • and tbh like it’s hoshi he wanted asking you out on a date to be dramatic and extra by literally asking you out in character but you know his theatermates are right he needs to get to the point
  • and so hoshi is like “im glad you could make it this time, but because you technically broke the promise you made to meeeeeeeeeeee how about making it up with dinner??”
  • and you’re Shocked to say the least 
  • because you’re not sure /why/ he’s asking you out like the only time you ever got relatively close is when you helped him and that was just the case of being in the right place at the right time 
  • BUT it’s not like you’re going to say no because hello it’s hoshi and you shyly nod and the entire ensemble breaks out into applause and hoshi tries to say something again in his character voice and you’re like “please don’t come dressed like that to dinner, i will pretend not to know you” and hoshi’s like “noted”
  • the dinner date is nothing like the actually invitation, it’s surprisingly nice and in this cozy little restaurant and hoshi tells you about himself and asks you about you and you’re like this is so calm and ………..unexpected
  • and tbh you’re a little like “this isn’t what i thought he’d be like.” and as hoshi is walking you to your dorm he’s like “listen, seokmin said that i need to tone it down sometimes so i hope this date was ok and i didn’t annoy by blabbering or something-” and you’re like 
  • “did seokmin suggest you take me to the restaurant?” and hoshi’s like “yeah, how’d you know?”
  • and you bite your lip to not laugh and you’re like “it’s just……it’s just so not your style!” and hoshi breaks into his own chuckle and he’s like “i kNOW right! i wanted to take you to dance practice with me but seokmin said that’d be too overwhelming or something like that!”
  • and you’re like “hey, second date - how about you teach me some dance movies or theater lines?” and hoshi grins and leans in a bit closer and he’s like “this is why i knew i liked you!” and he’s close and you’re kinda like akhflekjw but then you lean in and peck his cheek like “the date was still fun because it was with you anyway text me bye”
  • and you run inside and hoshi touches his cheek and like five minutes later you get a text 
  • but when you open it it’s a selfie of hoshi and he’s drawn a little heart on his cheek and he’s like “thank you~~ see you soon~~you’re the cutest~~ im gonna tell seokmin im taking you with me to dance and that he’s always wrong about everything~~”
  • after the second date, in which hoshi introduced you to everyone on the campus dance team and then proudly threw his arm around your shoulder and was like “you all better not get any ideas, they’re mine.” and after dancing for like two hours straight tackled you in a sweaty hug, it was safe to say that you two were a thing
  • hoshi telling anyone you guys are dating: “yeah, we’re dating. i made up a victory dance for the occasion, wanna see it?”
  • hoshi? you mean king of pda 
  • kisses on campus, nuzzling your face with his own in the library, surprise bear hugs when you visit him during theater practice, holding your hand under the table when you’re out to eat with the theater kids or seokmin, swinging your hands happily as he walks you to class
  • let me repeat: KING OF PDA 
  • everytime he’s got theater practice he like calls you to ask your opinion on his emotion through the phone like he’ll make everyone stop what they’re doing, just to call you and repeat a line and be like “is it good? do i sound emotionally distraught about my ship sinking?” and you’re like “yeah, you sound great captain hook.” and hoshi’s like im nOT PLAYINg captain HOOK thO
  • you’re his go to person to practice lines on and everyone in his friend group is so damn thankful until once when you were away on a trip and seokmin was like “hey, mingyu listen-” and mingyu was like oh god oh no oh god
  • makes jokes all the time that nearly give you heartattacks like he once was like “im gonna get a nose piercing for my next role, maybe dye my eyebrows green too to really get into chara-” and you were like “if you do ill shave your eyebrows off.”
  • whenever you’re sitting beside each other hoshi has to have his arm around your waist and he always tries to get away with putting his head in your lap to sleep
  • lots of people perceive hoshi as this endless ball of energy and at first you did too but then you learn that he deals with not only theater practice, but papers for his sociology minor and also competitions for dance and ontop of that he’ll take weekends to teach dance afterschool at a local middle school
  • and so when he is dead tired and literally just flops down and falls asleep with his face against your arm or in your lap you can only brush his hair from his face and whisper that you’re so proud to be dating someone so selfless 
  • he does this thing where he’ll be gently kissing down your neck and you close your eyes onLY to fEEL him lift you up over his shoulder and start running in circles and you’re like H O S  H I and he’s laughing like “are you dizzy??” and you’re like are we fIVE 
  • minghao voice from somewhere: yes, yall are five
  • hoshi will sometimes be like “im sorry i cant take you on more fancy dates” and you’re like “im fine just watching you rehearse for a show or practice dancing, it’s fine as long as im with you.” and hoshi just tackles you and kisses your face all over and everyone’s like grOSS except dino whose like !!!!!! TRUE LOVE IS THE BEST!!!!!!!!
  • you come over to his dorm and you guys steal seokmin’s + jeonghan’s blankets to build a fort and they’re both like can you not but you and hoshi in your blanket fort you built in the communal living room: “you’re just jealous and lonely. we’re gonna cuddle now.”
  • hoshi surprises you by getting tickets to a musical in the city and you get to see his fanboy side come out as he excitedly names all the actors and singers in the musical and like when the dance parts come on you see his eyes like flash with stars
  • and once you saw a musical with this singer from one of hoshi’s favorite groups, and when you get the signature hoshi can’t stop talking about it he’s like “babe….BABE……onew signed my fan with his face on it….BABE”
  • sends you selfies of him getting fitted by the fashion majors for the costumes for their next show and he sent a selfie shirtless and then was like “oops!! accident!!” 
  • (it was not an accident lmfao)
  • sometimes when he’s sleepy and trying to stay awake he becomes super like serious and charming and he’ll just sleepily look at you and be like “you know you’re stunning right, like i could look at you all day.” and you’re like akhgoew hoshi read your textbook and he’s like “ok………but seriously i love looking at you.” 
  • puts notes into your books when you’re not looking that are like cute reminders that he loves you and it’s sentimental because this all started with a note and it’s just,,,,, it’s cute
  • you: hoshi where do you get this cute as hell stationary?
    hoshi: steal it from dino
  • now when hoshi has an opening night you make sure to be there in the front row,  cheering him on! you always get him flowers to give afterword but he’s like “you know what else i want?” and you roll your eyes and kiss him hehe
  • everyone on the dance team keeps trying to lock you two in the dance practice room overnight but hoshi’s like you rascals what the hell do you think we’d do and he always scolds them for it (while blushing a  L O T)
  • hoshi: let’s take slow dancing lessons together
  • you: we don’t have time hoshi
  • hoshi: well we’re gonna have to know for when we get married???
  • seokmin: that’s so corny. It actually hurt me
  • when you finally get around to asking hoshi what it is that made him like you in the first place he’s sitting with you on the stage after rehersal and everyone’s gone and he like pulls you so you’re sitting in his lap and he’s like “you’re the only person kind enough to not lie to me when i asked for your help, and even when you just had to read the lines you put in effort for me - someone you barely knew and i thought to myself this person is a lot like me.” and you’re like ??? a lot like you and hoshi kisses the side of your face and he’s like “willing to help anyone and everyone out, even if they’re some weird boy who asked you to rehearse romantic lines with him for a play.”

college!vixx (here) & college!bts (here)
find college!woozi (here),  college!wonwoo (here)college!seunghceol(here),  college!seokmin (here) , college!jun (here) college!mingyu (here) & college!jeonghan (here)
find special college!jb (here), college!mark tuan (here)
and please look forward to more college!seventeen + special college!aus

consider this: SMH & one direction

i just wanna talk about smh and 1d ok im so sorry this wasnt supposed to be this long i have no control 

  • dex grew up with sisters (let me have this he has a bunch of sisters ok) so not only was he completely unable to escape one direction he was not allowed to get away with any sort of ‘bands that have mainly young female fanbases are not real music’ misogyny that lots of teen boys and adult males have 
    • so he likes 1d he doesnt advertise but he had to listen to them a lot so he knows their entire discography and what they have some good songs ok bro 
    • so yeah they find their way into his workout playlists so fucking what man they’re fucking hype songs 
    • his fave is niall bc hes chill and just wants to drink beer and play his guitar and listen to dad rock and he’s irish (dex is irish and is grandma loves niall bc she’s irish and what a sweet young lad) he’s not like die hard niall stan but he knows all of the 1d discourse from his sisters debating (im willing to listen to other opinions my back up is louis bc hes a punk) 
    • he save up one year (and got help from his fam) to get tickets for his sisters to see a wwa concert as a birthday/christmas/every holiday present bc theyre expensive and they dont have a lot of money 
      • his mom technically bought the tickets he just helped pay for them and the girls surprised him with a ticket for him to come with (mama poindexter: well i cant let them go alone who’s gonna watch them you have to go make sure they dont get arrested for doing something stupid) dex played it cool but it was such a fun concert and so fun to hang out with his sisters tooo
  • nursey now is a goddamn hipster u cant tell me he isnt into a bunch of british alternative bands and bc of his brit music phase he knew about one direction from the very start at the x factor stage (he definitely mentions this all the goddamn time when they start becoming popular but he chills out through the years)
    • hes been to at least one concert for every tour (he even got tickets to the madison square garden show) - he went to every concert with his sister but it was his idea to go and she was just there to keep an eye on him
    • also a big reason he got into the band was zayn like heres a pakistani muslim boy who’s super talented with these white dudes and that representation is super important (i also hc nursey as muslim or at least partially but zayn is a brown muslim boy killing it so yeah its awesome) 
    • but nurseys fave tho is harry especially when harry is a total hoe with long hair and jewelry and those red carpet looks like nursey is in love but also in awe bc those sparkly boots and that floral suit like those are iconic Looks™ and nursey loves it bc gender isnt real and he loves hoe looks (zayn is like 1.5 tho bc nursey is in love)
      • nursey tries to serenade dex with little things one day when they’re chilling by the pond on the grass and dex punches him bc nursey is making him emo even when he knows dex doesnt have emotions (in public in front of people who can see him cry)
  • bitty likes them they’re no beyonce but theyre fun and attractive and yeah hes gonna have some fun dancing to them he isn’t really up with all the drama and disc*urse until the boys have 1d nights and they watch this is us and the concert dvds bc he learns a lot 
    • he loves 2013 era harry and all the time liam (that boy is thicc and bitty 100% does not swoon)
  • holster like come tf on holster loves them he unironically and passionately loves one direction completely unashamed he does not care for your opinions and no one makes fun of him bc he’s a 6′4 fucking big ass hockey player who could drop kick u across campus if he wanted to
    • he claims he doesnt have a fave but he would die for all of them 
    • his fave rotates seasonally and he has a different fave for each era 
    • he went to the tmh tour and he’s gone to every tour since - he goes with his sisters bc its a bonding topic for them he sits at the edge of the floor or at the end of a row on the sides bc hes so tall he feels so bad and he tries to stay out of the way of the little girls behind him but hes nice to them and talks to them and so they like him even if hes a giant
    • but really he and his sisters are so close bc they have a lot of similar interests and they talk about pop culture stuff and its hard to keep intouch when hes away so much but they have group chats about 1d and tv shows and stuff so its so nice for them to keep up a strong bonding time 
  • ransom is a britney bitch and holster dragged him into 1d. he’s in it for the memes and the drama really. (he likes the songs and thinks its fun but he wouldnt have been a fan and gone to concerts if it wasnt for holtz)
    • holster takes him to the wwa concert and they have a blast 
    • holster also drags his ass to see this is us opening night (they both cry)
  • chowder just loves everyone and he doesnt understand why people hate 1d (or other pop artists with majority young female fan bases that ppl hate bc misogyny) when theyre so fun he’s not an active /fan/ until smh has team bonding nights involving one direction jam sessions and concert dvd watching and drunk history
  • on such 1d nights they put on one of the dvds and it accidentally turns into a drinking game (mainly drinking bc this part of my god did u see that !!! THAT NOTE CHANGE !!!! and ZAYN WHY !!!! and other painful parts) and some of them *cough* nursey dex and holster *cough* get possibly the most drunk they ever get bc of this 
    • theres loud awful drunk singing along and some sobbing (this is definitely not based off of any sort of personal experience whatsoever nope never done this before) 
    • after the movie when everyone is so drunk they talk about 1d history which is how the veterans teach the others about the exciting drama and disc*urse  
  • lardo is a bad bitch who is tough as fuck and manages a division I mens hockey team and every single one of them is afraid of her. AND she would not let any bro tease her for liking one direction bc why the fuck not. 
    • she has plenty of their songs thrown in arting playlists and in pump up playlists 
    • and she knows theres nothing better to cheer holster up when he’s having a rough day than a 1d dance sesh 
    • dont forget where you belong is the first song on her team bonding playlist bc its a love song to ur bandmates which transfers very well to love songs to ur teammates 
  • shitty unapologetically loves 1d and boy bands and girl bands and he supports all things that young girls love but are not taken seriously bc girls like them 
    • he’s written at least 3 papers/projects on the misogyny surrounding young girls and their interests and involvement in fandom and also boybands (he tries to fight all guys who disrespect girls’ interests and the power of teenage girls)
    • he’ll randomly show up to a 1d night bc obvi he’s in that gc and he’s ready to party and express emotions and dance and talk drama 
    • he loves harry bc “THAT FLOW MAN!!! HIS FLOW IS SO SICK!!!”
    • he cried when harry posted the pic of the hair he chopped off and cried when he saw the another man shoot where harry was defying all sorts of societal norms it was beautiful and his flow is still so nice even this short its ok it’ll grow back better than before
  • one friday night the lax bros sneak over to try to prank the haus and peak in the window and see half of the hockey team in the living room drunk off their ass singing loudly to a one direction concert on the tv - holster and nursey jumping around attempting to dance along, ransom clinging to bitty on the floor crying about a ‘hiatus’, bitty soothing ransom, dex forgetting about the drink in his one hand to drink rum from the bottle, shitty naked (not surprising) and slow dancing with a life sized cut-out of harry styles with tears streaming down his face (more surprising), and chowder lying on the couch singing through mouthfuls of pie 
  • they walk back to the lax bro house without executing the prank and they never mention it again
hip hop unit when you’re on your period

mingyu:

  • he probably made plans for the day but you texted him in the morning telling him you can’t make it bc you’re bleeding and you didn’t have the mood :(
  • he would be disappointed but being the sweetheart he is, he would come over to take care of you
  • that includes buying you your favourite snacks
  • you’ll probably be clingy when he’s here but he isn’t complaining
  • he LOVES it when you’re all clingy and pouty so he can take care of you
  • lots of kisses
  • but no cuddles bc you can’t lie in that position you might stain the sheets
  • and as much as you wanted to cuddle mingyu, you won’t have the energy to wash everything
  • binge watch movies
  • romance movies just bc
  • you have to keep leaving in between movies to go to the toilet
  • “babe don’t leave”
  • “i have to change”
  • “no you don’t”
  • “shut up kim mingyu i will bleed on you”
  • you hit his shoulder and then push him away so you can go to the toilet
  • “STOP FOLLOWING ME OH MY GOD”
  • “but i miss u” mingyu will be all pouty and shit
  • “…….we r literally in the same house…… and i’m going to change my pAD ITS DISGUSTING”
  • “it isn’t disgusting bc ure my girlfriend”
  • and then he’ll smirk and ure like…. ???
  • anyways you will push him away and run to the toilet AND LOCK THE DOOR
  • phew it’s so hard to get mingyu away idk if its good or bad
  • and he’ll be outside the toilet calling you asking if you’re done and when you open the door he will try to scare you
  • “BOO” he’ll suddenly jump out
  • when you roll your eyes at him he’ll hug you like a teddy bear and carry you onto the sofa and continue to kiss you
  • “i hope ure always on ur period”
  • “why??”
  • “bc then i get to take care of u and kiss u, and u won’t run away bc u r lazy”
  • you’d be too tired to even reply him and entertain his shit
  • but u still love him 

vernon:

  • he’s chilling at home and you texted him asking if he can get you pads and come over
  • tbh he would be pretty reluctant and hesitant but too bad he loves u and ure cute
  • “ure lucky I love u so much to be doing this”
  • when he’s at the store he’ll freak out and send u pictures of the pads and ask u which ones u want
  • “babe which”
  • and after u tell him he’ll grab and pay very quickly, trying his best not to be obvious that he’s awkward
  • he’ll get some food along the way
  • after he reached your house he’d rant about how awkward the situation was when he was getting the pads
  • you’ll just laugh bc he’s so cute
  • “what’s so funny??” and you’re like nothing and he starts to tickle u
  • “STOP IT VERNON IM BLEEDING”
  • and he’s like “oH shit I forgot SORRY” 
  • he’ll make sure u aren’t in pain
  • y'all will eat lunch while he surfs the net blasting raps
  • and you’ll be taking boyfriend pics of him
  • “babe stop and eat” then he’ll cover ur phone lens
  • “nO VERNON let me take more pictures of u”
  • “but I’m shy”
  • “STOP FRONTING” 
  • he’ll start rapping his part in fronting and you’re like /heart eyes/
  • lots of selfies with weird faces
  • if you’re having cramps he would stop whatever he was doing and pull u closer to him and let u lay ur head on his shoulder and will ask u if you’re alright
  • if u fall asleep on him he’ll smile and take girlfriend pictures of u ;-)
  • when u wake up he’ll show u those photos and
  • rip chwe hansol

seungcheol:

  • we’re looking at a boyfriend material right here
  • he knows exactly what to do when u’re on ur period
  • he already knows which types of pads you use after you told him once
  • he’ll buy so many packs though
  • “you need to store these up in case of emergency”
  • and u’re like “wow u sure know more about this than i do”
  • when you want to drink iced drinks he’ll be like “nO WHAT DO U THINK URE DOING RIGHT NOW”
  • u’re like ???
  • and he will talk about how you shouldn’t drink cold drinks when you’re on your period
  • ………who’s the one bleeding now……… u never know
  • and you’re like “but i rly wanna drink it”
  • and you throw in a few pouts
  • “nope, you’re gonna have cramps later on, YOU’LL REGRET UR DECISION”
  • and before you can continue to argue further he pushes you out of the kitchen and brings you into your room and tells you to rest
  • even though you’re fine
  • HE JUST WANTS YOU TO REST HE DOESN’T WANT YOU TO GET HURT OR ANYTHING
  • “cheol i’m perfectly fine, i’m not in pain”
  • he shushes you and goes to the kitchen to cook lunch for you
  • isn’t he such boyfriend material
  • just marry him already
  • he’ll bring the food into your room and treats you like a princess
  • he might even feed you U NEVER KNOW U WILL NEVER KNOW
  • you’ll catch him staring at you and when you ask why he’ll just say that you’re beautiful and he just needed to have a good look
  • “you feeling ok?” “you need anything?” “i’ll do it” “rest baby” “do u want to cuddle if u want just let me know i’m here”
  • ok i’m ending this here before i spill tears everywhere where do i get a seungcheol

wonwoo:

  • i have a feeling he’ll search about periods when he’s alone
  • “why do girls bleed”
  • “why do girls have mood swings when they bleed”
  • “why does cramps hurt”
  • “what to do when your girlfriend is in pain when she bleeds”
  • when he’s over at your house he’ll ask you a lot of questions about it
  • “wonwoo, are u ok? why do u need so much info”
  • “because…… it’s important to know about girls’ needs, and their pain…. and especially now that i have a girlfriend, i just need to know”
  • “but u can’t help much”
  • “how do u know i cant help u have to tell me first”
  • and after you explain everything to him he’ll nod and pout
  • “i’m sorry” he’ll apologise out of nowhere
  • “what for??”
  • “for not understanding what girls go through… and sometimes being angry at you when you have mood swings, i didn’t know things are this hard”
  • awww wonwoo uGH MY HEART SO PRECIOUS PROTECT HIM AT ALL COSTS
  • “its fine, at least now u know”
  • he’ll ask if you’re hungry and he’ll order anything you want
  • pizza! time
  • after lunch y’all will be doing ur own things aka him sitting beside you on your bed while reading his book while you’re probably decorating your diary, pasting some polaroids that you and wonwoo took together, and snapchatting
  • when he wants to take a break from reading, he will hug you like a koala and make clingy noises
  • “babe i’m sleepy”
  • you’ll pat his head and let him lie on your lap
  • playing with his hair is one of your fav thing to do
  • and you’ll use your fingers to trace his features and he’ll fall asleep
  • aHHH SO CUTE its always so cute when he falls asleep on your lap
  • but it wouldn’t be cute if you need to go to the toilet to change before it overflows and you can’t bc wonwoo is in deep sleep
  • but its still cute
2

HamBurr Grindr AU

Having missed crossing paths with each other during their undergrad years (at Columbia and Princeton respectively) Burr and Hamilton stumble across one another in a very unexpected way…


Alexander and Aaron are both attending the same law school when they come into contact with each other. They’re the same age, but Aaron is probably a year or so ahead of Alex in the program (thanks to the whole prodigy thing). They probably pass each other on the way to class uncountable amounts of times, since the buildings aren’t exactly that extensive when you’re focusing on one discipline. Aaron has no idea who Alexander is by sight, though maybe he’s heard his name circling around–because there’s no way Alexander goes completely unknown anywhere he goes. Alexander has certainly heard of Aaron Burr because of the Burr legacy, but likewise has no idea what he looks like.

So here comes the kicker.

Alexander’s been on Grindr for at a year or two, probably since the app first got big. He’s become a Grindr Expert™ by now and 85% of the time he’s scrolling through the app he considers deleting it. That percentage rises every time he gets a DTF message from some white 18 year old who insists he’s “into latinos haha :)” He rarely even uses it anymore, but some nights, God forbid, he’s horny and feeling like a one night stand, so he keeps the app.

Aaron, on the other hand, has never downloaded the app until (let’s say Angelica bc I love that friendship) Angelica takes his phone from him and downloads it for him one night after deciding she’s tired of Burr’s drunken complaints about not knowing how to find gay men. Burr’s charming with the ladies, ofc, (and men, too, when he gets the chance) but he’s not out of the closet so approaching men in person is always a risk he’s unwilling to take unless he’s at a specific type of club or bar. 

Needless to say, Aaron is Overwhelmed by all the hyper-masculine, attractive men he finds on the app. They’re all so close, too. He recognizes a few and that…that’s insane. Who knew his Constitutional Law TA was gay?  He gets a few messages almost instantly, most of them asking for facepics or just sending him unsolicited dick pics and Aaron gets a big fat Reality Check about the Truth about Grindr. It’s a shallow hookup app and Aaron quickly learns how to discern the various men and stops expecting too much. He mostly uses it to flirt in chats, letting himself relax because it’s not like he has anything to lose. His face isn’t entirely in the profile photo and he doesn’t talk to anyone he recognizes. He’s going to be safe; no one will find out who he is.

Alexander, in the first few months as a law student, has a lot less time to be involved in the app. He honestly forgets about it for a long while. Then, one Friday night, Alexander is feeling decidedly horny and mostly free of homework so he opens the app. Being in a new place gives him new faces to scan through, though there are still too many faceless abs for his tastes–not that Alex has anything against the abs, but it’s the principal of the thing. He’s not ashamed to be on the app and would scroll through it for shits and giggles with John or Peggy in the line for Starbucks without giving a fuck if anyone saw. His sexuality is no secret and he isn’t a fan of the anonymous culture on Grindr. After all, if you do hookup, it’s not like you’re not going to eventually see each other, so it’s pointless unless you’re just catfishing.

Anyway, back to this Friday night.

He’s scanning the prospects of the new geographical location with a critical eye from the comforts of his room. Like everywhere else, there are jocky white guys who didn’t want any messages from Asians or Hispanics. Alex blocks them to get them out of the way up front. 

That’s when he stumbles upon Aaron’s profile.

Technically it’s a headless photo that Alexander would normally dismiss automatically. But something about the fact that he’s still wearing clothes makes him tap to view more information, and then Aaron’s stupidly attractive grin with his hoodie string between perfectly straight teeth catches his attention even more up close. Everything about the body posture is casual, but Alex can’t seem to look away from Aaron’s mouth. It’s probably the whole reason Aaron chose to have that as his photo. Alexander finds himself desperately wanting to see the expression in his eyes above that smile.

His description informs Alex of exactly why he’s amongst the headless torso crowd: “Not out, no hosting.” At least he’s honest about it, while everyone else just allows their chiseled abs to speak for themselves about their insecurity. Despite not being out, the rest of Aaron’s profile is certainly…confident. If not cheesy and cocksure. Someone in Aaron’s life had laughed at those lines and he’d rolled with it. As much as he would normally scoff at such a description (and he still sort of does), something about this one felt more charming. Alexander blames that smile.

Aaron’s pretty close, a little less than two football fields distance away. They’re the same age, and Alex can’t help but wonder if they go to the same school. Nothing on his profile reveals anything about it, but he lets himself fantasize anyway. He spends five minutes going through more profiles before coming back to Aaron’s like a beacon. He’s throwing out his facepic rule, but he’s interested enough that he doesn’t let his pride get in the way of sending Aaron a message.

Aaron is as charming as his profile leads on, but not nearly as cheesy. They go back and forth with each other for nearly an hour, playing off one another in ways that get Alexander’s gears turning mentally and physically, so he takes the plunge and offers to host for the night.

Aaron has yet to actually sleep with anyone from the app. He stares at the last question from Alex for five minutes, wondering if he should make some excuse like he always did when that question was brought up in chat. He’s not even sure why Alex asked that question, or why he messaged Aaron in the first place. The first line in his description knocks Aaron’s profile out of the running, but for whatever reason he’d talked to him anyway. He wasn’t going to ask why that was, and Alex didn’t mention it. The cautious part of Aaron’s brain told him not to agree with it and just bow out, but Alex had caught Aaron’s attention, too, and he seriously considered it. It looked like Alex was close, and what would be the point of having the app if he didn’t actually use it the way it was intended? Alex didn’t seem nearly as creepy as most of the other guys on the app; he was clever and quick witted and a bit infuriating and… He texts Angelica, telling her his plans before he even messages Alex back. She sends back a row of clapping emojis and Aaron takes that as a sign to just go for it. He promises to message her as soon as it’s over and then finally replies to Alex’s message. “What’s the address?”

He can’t believe he’s actually doing it, but he arrives at Alex’s apartment with his STD test results in his pocket and nerves pulsing through his body. He’s read plenty of horror stories and while he’s pretty fit and can protect himself to an extent, he has no clue what’s really awaiting him behind the door. Of course, it’s Alex, looking just like his profile photo, innocently wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt, and he pulls Aaron into his apartment with an eagerness that betrays his initially calm outward expression. They exchange some greetings and a few words, but Alex gets right to the point and they share their test results: both clean. “I have condoms, either way,” Alex informs him nonchalantly, returning the papers and turning his piercing gaze back on Aaron.

Alexander is definitely pleased with the rest of Aaron’s face. He’s not smirking like he was in the photo, but he’s just as handsome without it. After stripping Aaron of his button-up, Alex finds that his shirtless torso is also worthy of Grindr anon fame, and it makes Alex all the more heated to know that he’s getting the chance to see it in person. The sex is intense, with waves of slow, almost cautious tenderness that builds in passionate, desperate urges. Aaron walks away considering his first Grindr hookup a smashing success with that smirk stretching his lips and Alex watches Aaron leave knowing he’ll be messaging him again in the near future.

Insert Alexander casually at Starbucks with one of his classmates before his first class the next week. He’s in line to order when his classmate spots Aaron Burr in the back of the room, focused intently on his laptop with headphones in his ears and textbooks surrounding the table.

“I’m not surprised he works like that. He’s the guy who got into Princeton at 17,” his friend supplies, even though Alexander has already heard of the story of Aaron Burr, is perfectly aware of those facts, thank you very much.

He was not aware that Aaron Burr was on Grindr. Until now.

Alexander frantically pulls up his phone, shoving his classmate ahead of him in line because he has way more Important Things to check right now. He opens the app and taps on Aaron’s profile to check the distance.

25 feet away.

He had sex with Aaron fucking Burr.

He had sex with the prodigy of Princeton college.

Ditching his classmate, he books it so fast out of Starbucks he nearly takes out an entire table of girls before he makes his escape. Thankfully, Aaron’s headphones make him oblivious to the commotion.

After his class Alexander probably calls John or one of the others to scream about how he accidentally had sex with Aaron Burr and John (sarcastically) informs him that if he’d only looked at the name on the STD papers he’d know who he was having sex with and Alexander hangs up the phone. John is right, but Alex isn’t here to talk about his oversights right now.

Alexander can’t stop thinking about that Friday night. He wants to message Aaron again, but knowing who he really is has his fingers itching to bring the topic up. He’ll never be able to see Aaron on campus again without doing so—and besides, they’re most likely going to run into each other at some point! They’re both law students. He should just say something now.

So he finally works up the nerve to just message Aaron later that day. He can be the instigator again, no big deal. Maybe Aaron will be cool about it.

Aaron checks his phone in the middle of his Constitutional Law class when he feels it vibrate in his jacket pocket. He sits up front (the nerd) so he has to be discrete, but when he sees the Grindr notification a flash of fear goes through him and he jerks his eyes up to the TA; please don’t let him be messaging Aaron in the middle of class.

Thankfully the TA doesn’t spare him a glance, so Aaron feels a little safer. Either way, he turns the brightness on his phone all the way down so no one can see the screen besides him and opens the app. It’s a message from Alex and this time Aaron feels a much more pleasant flutter before he taps open the chat.

That pleasant feeling instantly crumbles; his heart feels like its dropping to the pit of his stomach when he reads the message.

“So…you’re Aaron Burr?”

[Honestly there are a MILLION different ways to approach this AU, and I came up with about a hundred in my head as I was writing this. If you have any ideas please feel free to talk to me about it/add to it/make your own cause I wanna see all of it.]

*photos edited by me

anon:answer part 2

EYO IM BACK this is part 2 of this 

Anyway since im calm rn, I’ll spare y’all from my rants (sorry for pouring my heart out in prev part), so this is gonna be only “theory”. No rants. No me nagging like a bitter ahjumma. Hope you enjoy (especially you, the anon who had asked me about this, once again sorry for keeping you wait, shit has been hectic ;__; don’t worry tho I will finish the quest you have given to me)

Note#1: this part will contain jelly!kaisoo (even tho this is supposed to be from “jongin’s perspective” only, as the asking anon has requested, but since there are other anons who have asked me about jelly!kaisoo, I’m gonna add jelly!soo here too)  

Note#2: as always, this is gonna be long, prepare ur eyes dear ship-mates, and sorry in advance for profanities, grammar mistake, typos (sorry if my English is weird sometimes, especially when I try to explain things) and ofc lots of delushit.

I will begin this ‘so-called-theory’ with the moment that had managed to intrigue me into this life path of a [kaisoo] shipper. anyway, prepare your

lets zoom in a little

of course, it had crossed my mind that jongin looked at luhan’s hand bc it was moving (bc usually someone’s eyes instinctively would move to the nearest moving object) and perhaps that was it, perhaps there was no jealousy intention at all, perhaps we all reading too much things in this

BUT, why his eyes instinctively looked down at the hand? Why he blinked and looked down while before he was staring at other direction (where other members were talking)? Why he didn’t just blink but still keep his eyes remaining in the same position as before? Why he casted his eyes down at that hand? If the true cause of this was indeed “the nearest moving object” like I have said, why his eyes looked down there tho? I mean he was staring at other direction, his eyes were looking straight at the left side (his head tilted to that way), I mean, the hand was far from his focus stare, why he just blinked down automatically there?

And I know there were some of you who think “he didn’t look at the exact direction of luhan’s hand, his eyes were slightly directed to the empty space beside ksoo ”, bc I thought like that too at first (I had to zoom this mothafucking gif and stared at it for few minutes), but ksoo wasn’t sitting exactly next to him; ksoo did sit beside him but ksoo’s body was leaned forward while he was leaned back (jongin rested his back on the sofa); from this camera angle we can see ksoo’s body covered/shielded his left shoulder from the camera and jongin’s head was tilted to the left side. Meaning he had some distance from ksoo’s back/luhan’s hand, imo that was why if u zoom this gif his eyes pupils looked like they were staring at the empty space beside soo (due to the distance and tilting head direction issues), while he was actually staring at luhan’s hand on ksoo’s shoulder.

Since this is a pict, and like someone had said, a pict only needs a right angle and moment to give us the magic /roll eyes/, I wouldn’t say much shit about this. ok maybe I would. Let me elaborate, the right angle of this pict: as you can see, the main subject of this pict is jongin (pretty obvious since chansoo was blurred), and the pict was taken from the front angle –the most honest angle of them all, it’s pretty hard to play trick and cast magic with this angle since you can see everything cuz there is no blind spot– so it’s pretty safe to declare that this angle doesn’t play its filthy trick on our eyes, dearest ladies and gentlemen. 

Now, the right moment of this pict: no matter in what angle, the right moment can do wonder to our eyes. maybe jongin didn’t stare with burning holes and piercing eyes when this moment happened, but he still did look at them soo – we didn’t know if he did stare or if he just glanced. yes I said he looked at soo, bc frankly I see his eyes were focusing at soo, but since im deluded, my eyesight cant be trusted

yes this gif is slowed, but what if I told you that the gifs often slowed so we could see dem goddamn moments easily (bc our red, tired and strained eyes couldn’t capture such things in normal speed yo) not bc we want to add sparkles and unicorns shit there – anyway, you could see his smile falter a little bit, it looks like he was annoyed/irritated seeing suho pulled that stunt (and looked at soo ducked his head and moved his head away from suho). Jongin was smiling, but then his smile stopped even tho perhaps only for a millisecond when suho ducked his head to be closer to soo, after that jongin smiled again at the crowds (idk what suho tried to do here, at first i tho he wanted soo to sing along w/ him but then i notice he pointed on soo’s tie? or did he point on his own wrist?), and let me remind you that jongin was behind them and if we were in his position we could have mistaken the sudo couple wanted to do a fake kiss

its pretty obvious that he looked at chen’s and soo’s fingers (he stared at their fingers then at chen)

soo looked at chen and then their interlaced fingers briefly, then it seems his stare was empty – like he didn’t really look at their fingers again, meanwhile jongin still darted his eyes back and forth at the fingers and chen

his eyes were moving down (to the fingers) and up (to chen)

it seems he inhaled a quite deep breath from his mouth then exhaled through his nose – usually when a person does this, it’s bc they are upset/angry and trying to calm themselves. And the way he fixed his jacket too, feelin a lil bit hot there jongin?

I don’t understand whats up with chen’s thirst for soo that day, anyway soo removed chen’s hand

then jongin did it and soo didn’t do shit (look at soo’s right shoulder just stilled)

actually, I feel there is another part before this part (just look at suho grabbed the water bottle, the loop doesnt fit with the prev gif, yeah? Or is it just me? the gifset aint completed ;___; ), it looked like jongin had slightly removed his palm off soo’s thigh? In prev gif it seems jongin just put his palm like he was softly slapping [like dropping his palm on soo’s thigh] the middle part of the thigh ((?) this is just assumption tho since we cant see shit from this angle) but in this gif his hand seemed had moved away slightly, but his hand was still rubbing at soo’s outer thigh? And is it just me but I see him looking at chen when he did this to soo?

Also happened on the same day (not jelly!kaisoo)

I don’t think this gifs were slowed, look at the camera flash (so he did stare on soo - the rainbow-ness that we feel right now isnt created by some mere magic of slowmotion effect then)

Soo smiled at the end

jongin’s foot was under soo’s 

that smirk… now lets see non slowed gif

why soo put his hand in that position tho? as if it was a barrier between him and chen, it was a quite awkward position to be made right? and it seems the position was deliberately made, I remember I made this hand position at school bc I didn’t want my friends to see my doodles/or copy my answer (yes i was such a cheap bastard back then), and there was no wall/things for soo’s hand to lean on, so wasn’t this hand position was uncomfortable? why soo had his hand prop up like that? (btw jongin still had that smirk on his face)

it seems jongin was feeling their shaved hair part? Bc he patted/rubbed his palm on soo’s shaved part and then he did the same to his own

just one whisper from soo and look what happened to him

sure perhaps jongin’s forefinger was hurting and soo only wanted to relieve the pain, but judging from his face… idk man, idk… like yeah he scrunched his nose perhaps bc it was painful but then it seems he mouthed an ‘ah’, is this what guy friends do to each other? Bc quiet frankly ive never seen one do this to their friend, like ive never seen my male friends asked their other male friends to message the ‘boo boo’ away… or perhaps jongin’s finger wasn’t hurting? But then why he lifted (and then wiggled) his forefinger? Then why soo grabbed it? also in recent moment jongin showed soo’s his front tooth (it seems he did this cuz it hurt)…

so would soo make the ‘boo boo’ away then? cuz when jongin showed his forefinger, soo grabbed (messaged) it, so why not, right? lol

Idk if this is counted as jelly moment (since we cant see his expression here), but the way kaisoo clasped their hands together just intrigue me. perhaps this means nothing to some of you (warning this will sound like I read into things too much a.k.a overanalyzing a.k.a just another delushit in stronger dose)

ksoo was holding suho’s hand, and jongin did look at their direction, but his head was indicating that he looked at “the head” area, not “below head/shoulder” area, when ksoo’s hand was near his, he offered (opened) his palm for soo to grab – yet his head still didn’t move (look down), sure perhaps his eyes/peripheral vision made him acknowledged soo’s outstretching arm (perhaps his eyes were aware of the movement of ksoo’s shoulder, thus made him realize that soo was trying to reach him), but still, the way he offered his palm for soo to take was just adorable for me.

bc usually ‘the hand grabber’ would just grab the hand and the owner of the hand wouldn’t offer their hand to the hand grabber, like they would just let their hand limps to be taken (not doing offering whatsoever), especially if this thing is done between a pair who aren’t close to each other at all. Jongin didn’t look down at soo’s hand, yet he flipped open his palm so then his palm would fit with soo’s, I mean how did he know that soo’s hand was in “top” position while he kept his vision range above shoulder to head. also even tho ksoo was the one who stretched the arm first, it seems it was jongin who clasped their hands together. have I drown you in my leaking delulu-ness yet? HAVE I?? oh, I have? Good.

So idk perhaps bc my vision is flogged with so much deluluness, but in near the end of the gid I saw ksoo didn’t hold suho’s hand anymore… so when he held jongin’s hand, he let go of suho’s? hmmmmmmmm

jongin looked at soo (and manager’s hands on soo’s forehead)

why he did this? why? if he wanted to go through why he didn’t go through the noona that fixing the costume (look at prev gif), he could just say excuse me, then slipped through between the manager and the noona, then went through behind the manager… but he didn’t. another option was, why he didn’t wait for the manager to finish grooming ksoo? He didn’t even say anything when he did this (not ‘sorry’ nor ‘excuse me’, I mean look at his mouth, his lips were tight-sealed), was he mad? Also is it just me but I see the manager shook his head lightly after that, and the manager didn’t continue his work of grooming ksoo, I mean it looks like his grooming wasn’t actually finished, but as soon as jongin cut in, the manager was like “you know what? fuck this” /shake head and go away/

“I couldn’t look at jongin [when we were talking] bc I have astigmatism” this guy didn’t even blink when the host talking. jongin stared at soo

yeol looked at baek and jongin looked at the camera then at soo

yeol still looked at baek. jongin still looked at soo too

ksoo finally nodded and blinked. sehun bit his lower lip. jongin looked pissed off. Believe me, I was giggling while staring at this gif set, idk why but I find this hilarious

Then this happened

jongin looked at soo ft yeol

OMGHYUNGSOADORABLEWHENHEMAKESAHEARTSHAPEADgiggles

I cant believe this guy is 22 y.o, I mean just look at him so squishy

yeol seemed to want to attack ksoo back? (as a revenge of shocking him from behind) but jongin grabbed soo’s bicep as soon as yeol wanted to do that and manhandled soo to move forward and it seemed yeol looked at jongin for a sec and then yeol stopped to bother soo, Why he retreated ? wouldn’t he usually bother soo a lot on stage?  it was such a perfect opportunity to do so, bc soo attacked him first, but he just let it be after that… was it bc there was jongin? – speaking of this i once have watched a fancam – it was happened on the day when jongin had a towel on top of his head and whispered to soo [this happened in their concert in china, thanks to the awesome and informative anon for telling me that] – where soo chasing yeol but then jongin grabbed soo to stop him, also there was this gifs where baek annoyed soo, soo wanted to chase him but jongin stopped him, sadly I don’t have the gif, but I have the pict (I think)

Basically baek annoyed soo, soo wanted to chase him (baek was already circling the group to avoid soo and soo wanted to follow baek) but nini stopped soo. idk if this pict is the right one/match with the gifset I’ve seen ( `~`)

this is more like protective jongin than jealous one tbh… luhan was attacking ksoo with his coca cola bottle, ksoo didn’t like it when luhan was shoving the bottle to his face

nini to the rescue! He didn’t even smile when he was “playfully” shoving/punching luhan… and ksoo smiled at the end of the gif lmao

while the girl was mesmerized by yixing, jongin just casually passed by at the sight chen opened his arm for soo, jongin saw this first and decided to walk away, but then when ksoo nodded his head and went to chen’s embrace, jongin turned away and walked to them…

…and then he wanted to hit chen’s head but chen blocked the hit, chen retaliated by attacking jongin without any pillow (with his bare hands), yeol tried to help jongin by trying to hit chen’s back with the pillow (but I think his aid fail bc even tho the pillow did hit chen, it didn’t do much since chen was already moved a lil bit far to feel the impact), then yeol got distracted with ksoo’s swaying butt, and baek hit that butt with his pillow

Yeah, prob cuz of right angle and right moment and all that jazz, but it still means that jongin did look pissed off even tho for a few micro second when he saw chen back-hugged soo, right?

It seems suho told them to stop hugging “okay stop now before your husband gets jealous”

Jongin looked at soo for a sec

This was how jongin looked like when the hugging happened

And this how soo looked like after the hugging happened, this boy was so asking for it.

he looked at suho then soo then suho again

suho patted soo’s shoulder, then when jongin looked at him, he nodded and the patting stopped, jongin still looked at him, and when jongin gave him a small nod and a small smile suho nodded and looked down for a very brief moment… (staring is one of ways to assert dominance and it is not only applied for animals but human too – basically the one that looks away loses the dominance, and I didn’t make this shit out since this was in some sciene show, I don’t remember in what channel I watched it… yes in case u don’t know already im a sucker for shows like that – anyway, do you get my point by stating this fun fact? /wiggle eyebrow/),

…then jongin smiled widely and turned away from him. suho kept smiling, but how he smiled was… off for me, bc his smile was a tight-lipped one, (while before, when he did the thumb up, he had a broad smile on his face - with teeth showing), 

usually this tight-lipped smile would be given for a brief second and used for small greeting (like when you meet your neighbor/acquaintance, u don’t wanna stay for chat but u want to stay polite so u just give them this kind of smile), also this type of smile is often to be interpreted as secretive/dishonest smile, and some people say that this is also can be interpreted as nervousness?

also notice the way soo’s smile started to change when jongin gave suho small nod/smile, and then soo’s lips were sucked in (I read this thing indicates nervousness… Like something bad has happened? I do notice some of my friends – even me myself – would do this if ‘oh shit’ moment happens), also i do notice sehun did this too, but it seems he did this bc he wanted to moist his lips? like a habit (habit out of boredom since he seemed to be out of his mind in this gif), while soo’s sucked in lips movement was deliberate/slow, bc soo ‘let go’ his lips in slower movement, while sehun just ‘sucked in’ and then ‘popped out’ his lips back… IDK MAN MAYBE IM JUST DELUDED AF oh btw baek’s expression describes so many shippers when they see this gif so well

Idk this is so blurred I cant see much in this… soo and sehun were kinda hugging each other but then jongin hit soo’s arm so he could have soo’s attention? Idk perhaps he wanted to say something to soo, but I don’t have the rest of the gif so idk man idk

it seems he was looking at soo when he opened the bottle, yeol looked at him, idk what suho looked at (prob the host?), while soo smiled and looked at the host then looked at the bottle that in jongin’s hands

suho and soo looked at the host while smiling, yeol just looked, nini flicked his eyes at soo (when soo pointed the host) then at the floor(?) or maybe the table(?), imo he couldn’t see what the host was doing in that standing position (bc the host had his back facing him), why he didn’t step forward so he could look at what the host was doing? Why he looked at soo for a sec then flicked his eyes down?

when this happened (suho had his hand on soo’s neck/shoulder, from this angle, it seems he was kinda leaning on soo, even tho his nose tip wasn’t touching soo’s neck, but it seems their distance was quite close?)

this was how he looked like. he blinked twice, and he looked surprise when he saw suho did this to soo, and it looks like he said “mwo-ya” (뭐야) which is equivalent to “what the hell?” - idk maybe this just me - when he smiled (also his smile was a lil bit off for me, maybe this is me just being delulu trash like always, but his smile wasn’t wide [cheerful] when he said this, it was then when he was starting to face the crowd (why he looked away anyway? it was just a fanservice, some of their members had done this a lot on stage, this shouldnt be uncommon to see, right?), his smile grew to a grin, 

anyway my delushit state of mind interpret this as a ‘pissed off smile’, you know sometimes shit happens to you and all you do is smiling (and prob saying “what?” or “oh great” for the irony effect) bc you’re so fucking pissed off but there is nothing you can do to prevent/undo it), oh btw it seems when jongin said ‘mwoya’ that was when soo opened his eyes (look at prev gif)

Again prob bc of the right timing/angle but still im gonna put this here

Idk what happened here, since the gif’s loop is too short, but in this gif jongin did look pissed off when soo giggled at xiumin

I cant say he is jelly since the gif’s loop is too short, also while soo was singing he looked pretty happy/excited to be jelly, but hey like I’ve said even tho the moment was short-lived doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. Come to think about it again, he looked excited but then as soon as soo leaned to yeol he got quiet for a moment (like in this gif) ? But then he got excited again after that… idk maybe I got it wrong, just check/watch the show again on YT if you want to

[that chinese group thingy6, 1-2]

he looked excited and he pointed soo while turning to see other member (xiumin or prob someone next to xiumin); to tell them that soo was singing? But it doesn’t make sense then, like ofc the other members know it was soo (by soo’s voice), so doesnt that mean he pointed at soo while turning to the other member to tell them to pay attention to soo?

look at him clapping, yes other member clapped too (luhan and xiumin) but jongin lifted his arms high while he did the clapping

Also in this show [@37:19], when soo and yeol needed to compete in office chair race (on their last round), jongin (as the referee) out of nowhere came in and blew the whistle to told chanyeol to fix his stance/start position bc yeol had his feet placed over the yellow line, then he pointed his finger to yeol (and yeol looked offended at this) and then he walked to soo, then he fixed soo’s stance bc soo had his feet placed before the yellow line (the distance between soo’s feet and the line was prob 2-3 cm/ an inch), 

and let me remind you when he told yeol, he bent down and tapped yeol’s feet (to move back behind the line) but when he did it with soo, he grabbed soo’s right foot (to place it exactly behind the yellow line – no distance like before) and then soo’s left foot followed the movement  and then the ahjuma host (idk this lady’s name) and zhoumi were ‘YAH!’-ing him. and luhan was like lol, and chen had this ‘of course he would do that’ smile IDK IM SO BIASED MAYBE IT AINT MEANING ANYTHING BUT DAMN THIS MADE ME GIDDY YO

look at jongin in all these pictures… he stared at soo when soo whispered to yeol. Yes I said he stared, not just a mere glance/look bc he had different poses/position but his eyes still glued at soo, so this was staring.

Lets compared it with yeol’s reaction when soo whispered to jongin

look at jongin blinked fast and he looked at laysoo for a micro second

in the video, it was soo and jongin who played crotch grabbing war at first, but then lay came and barged in between them, soo wanted to stand next to jongin but lay told him no, and told soo that soo need to stand there [between him and sehun], then lay played crotch grabbing war with soo (while jongin continued playing with suho), when it was chanyeol’s turn to speak, soo added something [he commented] (Idk what he said but I think that was the cause of) lay [kissing] pecked soo’s cheek

tbh Idk if jongin was jelly when lay did this since after that he acted indifferent (?), like ‘nah its not a big deal’, but he blinked fast when this happened, but when I show the clip to my mom, she said “this one [point at jongin] looked pissed off [when the kissing happened]” lol (yes my mom knows that im a kaisoo trash)

also when this happened (@4:15), suho ducked his head bc of embarrassment, sehun was shocked (I think he wanted to smile/grin but he held himself back and tried to distract himself by speaking to yeol), chen xiumin baek snickered, yeol didn’t realize shit (bc he was talking), while tao looked so distracted from the beginning till the end of this interview, this interview is really hilarious for me Ive watched this more than 3 times even tho I don’t understand what were they saying

[Jelly nini ft insungi hyung full and 1-2]

this actually a revelation moment for me, since before I was in doubting state (“they’re prob just friends, prob this all just bromance, why am I wasting my time doing this? what am I doing with my life? /sobbing/”) then this thing happened. I would like to thank suho for this revelation of mine, bc his reaction was… very legit for me tbh. He was laughing/gasping “aahhhh” while covering the side of his mouth, then he looked back.

I assume he was originally looking at jongin even tho for a brief second, but then yeol started to laugh and say “insungie-hyung”  and that was when his head tilted slightly to the left (where yeol was), then his head went back to face xiusoo direction and then he held back his smile/giggle, just look at his mouth. Look at it. why he did that? Why he didn’t continue his snicker? Why he decided to clamp his mouth and hold back his smile?

And look at jongin. 

why the other members were all lols and giggles yet he only offered a very small smile? I mean the others were all OMGOMGINSUNGIEHYUNGLMAOLOLOL (they were so excited, just look at the feet of the person who sat beside yeol), but jongin was just quiet… I mean in other occasions where ksoo says/does something usually he would be the one who does the overhype, like that time when ksoo with the green doll (when yeol was told to re-enact exo next door scene), or when soo does aegyo ‘bbuing bbuing motherfucker’, or when soo sings, or when soo asked something about DNA in some show (I don’t remember what the show’s name), or when soo read that oranghae poem, heck even saying ksoo’s name repeatedly (in showtime, when they were inside the car) made him giggle, then why when soo was talking about his ‘new hyung’ he didn’t look so thrilled, hm? Also, perhaps this is just me and my delushit way of thinking but I see ksoo took a glance at jongin(‘s reflection on the monitor) when he was talking about his ‘insungie-hyung’

I think that’s it for jongin’s part, I don’t have any more stash of him being jelly, so let’s move on to soo

lets see another version

Honestly, soo did look pissed off, he looked so… restless? Idk as if something was bugging him, usually in radio interview he is pretty calm, I notice he would just stay still/quiet, he wouldn’t try to fix the mic (except when it’s his turn to speak/sing) but when he’s idle, he would just stay quiet prob reading the script, but he never does something like this (as far as I know), also he didn’t say goodbye to the caller noona…hmmmmmmmm also this was one of the revelation moment for me (since why would someone got jelly – to the point he acted rude [not saying goodbye] – if his veryplatonic-hommie-bro got a call from some chick? Shouldn’t that person be happy if they were just a pair of very close friend? but hey what do I know anyway… a trash’ mind is deluded after all

As soon as the noona wanted to hold jongin’s arm, soo’s smile fell. I don’t have long explanation about this bc this shit is pretty obvious

soo looked at jongin, who was looking (while biting lips) at taemin giving speech

after being hit for a few times, jongin finally tilted his head back to look at soo

tae let go of jongin

soo got his bae back

this pict was taken after taemin let go of jongin, look at taemin’s face. Look at his eyes, and it seems he held back a smile? Like he tried to contain his smile to break out, and look at jongin’s smile. and the smile Im talking about is not a cheerful kind of smile but smug smile/grin (for both of them, not only jongin), bc tbh that was what im seeing here (“pffftt, bro, it looks like ur man got jelly” “lol ikr, but that means he likes me, right?”—that’s how I imagine the situation here but since im deluded, sooooo yeah, don’t listen to me folks!)

I know this is not requested buttttttt… allow me this time

where was jongin? didn’t he see his hubby flirted with his bro

look at him immediately place his hand on soo’s waist then it did a small caress (up), honestly where was jongin? tbh whenever I see taesoo it reminds me of some ridiculous slogan I once saw on some ad, basically it says something like this “where would your ex be right now? in your bestfriend’s embrace” im sorryyyy 

… Ermm, anyway lets move on

The caption says it all, why soo looked at them? why jongin moved away when soo looked at them? why soo looked away when jongin finally moved away from the manager’s touch?

Again, what else need to be pointed out?

In this gif we can see that soo said “hajima” (means don’t, right?) while he pulled sehun’s arm, then jongin quickly undid/untied the gold ribbon by himself

Aww he looked like a kicked puppy

I think that’s it for jelly!soo, I don’t have anything left about dem being jelly in mah stash, so yeaaaahh, and originally I wanted to talk more stuff (not just about their jellyness) on this post, but this thing has gotten too long and im afraid it would crash again (like before) if I force all dem gifs + my delulu words in a single post, so yeah, ill continue on later part (prob the last part)

btw sorry for those who have asked me things but I haven’t replied since time is such a bitch to me right now

as always, this is not a fact, I do not know these boys personally, this is just how I perceive things, I could be wrong, they could be just friends /cackle sardonically/ …the point is this is just some post that is written by some faceless stranger on internet, there is no credibility on my words, I am not a an expert nor trained in human behavior/body language field and im a very biased trash shipper so shit I’ve said might have been influenced by my feels, so don’t take this seriously folks

and also gifs/picts aint mine, credit to the owners! 

Kuroo/Reader [insert title here]

Was supposed to be a part of a larger fanfiction but I’ll never finish it. I also don’t have a title for it. Reader is female, sorry.

Using the doorframe to keep your balance, you quickly slipped on your shoes. The sound of wind and raindrops striking the windows gave you a pretty decent idea of the weather outside.

“Kuroo, you’re not coming with me. I can get home just fine." 

His light footsteps were no match for your keen hearing; you could tell he’d tried to sneak up behind you and slip his shoes on as well. 

"Look, I’m not going to get eaten, or gobbled up, or lost. The weather isn’t bad compared to the rain where I come from. I will be completely fine.” Before he could protest, you continued, “No, I won’t stay here either. If I’m planning to live here- which I am, I’ll have to get around without anyone helping me- which I’m about to do right now.”

“Tch.” You could feel the shit-eating grin form on his annoyingly attractive face. “Wait here." 

The gentle thump of footsteps trailed away from your current position. They were followed by the squeak of a door being opened. While keeping a tab on mister tall, dark, and handsome, you pulled on the light hoodie previously kept in your bag.

Just as you bent over to close your satchel, Kuroo returned. In one fluid motion, he tossed a thicker, gray hoodie over your head.

"Kuroo! Hey-”

“Since my little princess wants to go without her dark knight, he might as well make sure that she doesn’t catch a cold.”

You hastily removed the article of clothing from your head and stood up straight, glaring daggers at the male despite your flushed cheeks.

“I’m not your princess, I’m not a princess, and you’re definitely not knight material,” you snapped, putting on the oversized jacket. It was so large, it almost covered your skirt completely.

“What do you say?” He picked up your backpack and handed it to you.

“Thank you for the jacket..” It came out as more of a barely understandable mumble; you’d turned your head and redirected your gaze as your blush got a bit darker.

“If you get lost, I’m not going to let you live it down. Text me when you get home.” His eyes followed you as you readjusted the straps on your shoulders and made your way to the door.

“That’s why I won’t get lost.” You swallowed back the growing anxiety in your voice as you opened the door. “See you tomorrow. Thanks for having me.”

“See you.”

Keep reading

title: how to get a boyfriend: a comprehensive guide by kuroo tetsurou
fandom: haikyuu!!
pairing: kurodai
word count: 2311
summary: kuroo asks daichi out thru texts, then regrets it: the fic

for @maskyoursmile! i hope this is everything that u wanted!!

here on ao3


Daichi lets out a long, relieved sigh as he finally finishes his homework for the weekend. It’s only Friday, but he’s always found it much easier to do all of his homework as soon as he gets home from school instead of leaving it until Sunday night. It makes it a lot easier to enjoy his weekend, he finds, so even though the guys poke fun at him for it, he sticks to his routine because it’s something that works for him.

After a nice stretch of his arms and spine that leaves his bones feeling pleasantly melty, he reaches for his phone. He always turns it on silent and leaves it facedown while he does his homework to avoid any distractions, but Suga always sends him messages anyway so he figures he should probably check them and get back to him.

When he turns his phone over, however, he finds the screen flashing with an incoming call from Kuroo Tetsurou.

Keep reading