if u want to stop smoking ... then u should watch this video

dating nct johnny!!1!1!1!!

• “i can see why ten calls you a fatass”
• “girl wys”
• him being more of a best friend than a boyfriend, usually
• “johNNY’S FASHioN, EVALUATION-”
• “johnny please stop”
• “who’s ur favorite nct member, babe”
• “ten.”
• you begging him to sing for you all the time oh my gosh
• to the point where all the other members go “UGH-”, drop everything, and leave the room when you ask johnny to sing.
• lotta hugs and hand holding and, idk why but squeezing like, everywhere, not like, all perverted, like, sometimes he’d just squish your cheeks and be like “lol u look like a duck”
• pointing to food, to, food, yes food, and saying “dat u”
• “guRLLLLL-”
• “johnny stfu”
• lots of weird text messages like, johnny is literally afraid to turn his phone on at the end of the day.
• he mimics you a lot
• you mimic him mimicking you and, it’s just, one thing leads to another and you two end up forgetting what you were doing
• when it’s your birthday he goes all out and he does a little, special something extra that makes you cry
• he once pretended that he had nothing planned and kissed your forehead and was like “sorry babe, practice was hell last night, i couldn’t get anything special for you” and you were like “oh- oh god, johnny that’s ok don’t worry about it. i love you-”
• and that was overall true but he still got jaehyun and taeyong to cook something special and got the baby rookies to get you cake and a pretty little birthday card
• and he made his own card for you and he got his guitar and decided to sing you a song
• all the members signed the card the baby rookies got for you
• johnny called you over bc he “felt bad and thought you should still at least have dinner w them”
• you come over ands everyone’s like “haPPY BirtHdAY.” and throws confetti everywhere and holds a cake up in your face and jisung starts laughing really hard and jaemin’s like “for goodness sak- BLOW THE LIGHTS OUT. THE FIRE ALARMS GONNA GO OFF BC OF THE SMOKE” and mark throws the card at you like it’s a ninja star
• and you’re like “a- whATT?”
• but you don’t see johnny and you’re like “where the fatass at”
• and johnnys like “iMHEREBABY!!!!!!!”
• and starts singing w his guitar
• and you’re like “someone pls explain what’s happening why is no one explaining anything” but you’re smiling bc aw this is cute and you love everyone and you love johnny so much.
• and finally he gives you a nice warm hug and kisses you and he’s like “happy birthday babe” and gives you the card he wrote and you start reading it and start crying
• everyone’s like “U MADE HER CRY ON HER BIRTHDAY UR A MONSTER”
• “whA- NO”
• lots of cute, quiet little cafe dates
• holds your hand a lot
• holds your hand when you’re scared
• you wear his button up shirts and johnny’s either like “shit ur hot” or “what the hell that’s my favorite shirt take it off, you-”
• he’s kidding tho. he likes seeing you in his clothes bc johnny’s huge and his clothes are like blankets on you and it makes you look like a baby, and you are a baby, his baby
• he is so into meeting your family
• “are u nervous?”
• and he’s like “lol no who do u think i am.”
• but he’s a little kitty in the dark on the inside and you know it so you hold his hand the whole ride
• your family loves him
• everyone loves him. even your pets.
• but he’s still kinda awkward around them and zones out
• “johnny, where are you from?”
• “oh- no thank you.”
• he looks at you funny everytime you play pokemon go
• you wanna take cute selfies w him but he won’t stop making derps
• you scream and call out johnny’s name everytime there’s a bug
• “you don’t even scream my name that loud when we’re having sex”
• “JUST KILL IT”
• sexy time w johnny is all the time
• johnny tries to seduce you, a lot, but when he actually tries it’s just- no.
• but when he’s in a very needy position and n e e d s it, he just, goes for it and oh my mamas, that’s hot.
• SLEEVELESS JOHNNY.
• “did u leave ur shirt sleeves at home.”
• but you love it
• you watch cartoons w him and johnny’s so into that, surprisingly
• you two also watch shows like pretty little liars together.
• during season one y'all are like “WHO IS A.”
• “MY MONEY’S ON ALISON”
• “U DUMB, SHE DEAD AF”
• random english/korean breaks that confuse you bc it’s like “yes baby like, taeyong wanted to touch the 호랑이 when we were at the 동물원 but the 아저씨 working there was like "죄송합니다, 얘가좀 소심해서 사람을 잘 무는 경우가 있어서…”
• “johnny”
• “oh, right- sorry”
• he always grins really wide when he says “i love you” or puckers up his lips while saying it and you’re like “uGH. yES. ME toO.”
• “do you want a son or a daughter?”
• “i want both, as long as they look like you.”
• “and if they don’t look like me?”
• “THEN THAT MEANS THEY LOOK LIKE ME AND I’M HOT AND ADORABLE SO THERES NO PROBLEM THERE.”
• he sends a lot of cheesy texts but you know he cringes hardcore while sending them
• sometimes he’s so in love with you and just, the thought of you that he has no shame sending these cheesy messages
• video chats w johnny are, so… idk how to explain it but there’s a member that comes on screen that’s like “yeah so i was like "holy shit is that really an alien?” but turns out it was just ten wearing pants in the dorm for once- OH SHIT HEY (Y/N)“ every 5 seconds.
• ten is like your best friend bc you two lowkey love teasing johnny and it annoys johnny so much
• ten ships you two so much he just, cant.
• ten once told johnny that you should name your first kid after your ship name.
• "ten, shut up”
• random singing outbursts it’s just, “oh yeah so- CHEER UP BABY CHEER UP BABY-”
• “oh i love this drink so muc- CALL ME BABY-”
• johnny loves you lots lots lots lots
• you love him lots
• he kisses you so much and you always turn into mushy jelly and he knows it and he’s proud
• his kisses are super super rough sometimes and super super nice and short and sweet sometimes, you love both.
• JOHNNY CAN KISS. VERY WELL.
• CUDDLING W JOHNNY IS SUPER AWK AT FIRST BUT SOON IT’S JOHNNYS FAVORITE THING EVER AND HES SO WARM AND COZY AND YOU’RE HIS TEDDY BEAR.
• “i love you”
• “mhm. me too.”


LOL THIS WAS FUN TO WRITE IF YOU GUYS HAVE ANY REQUESTS, MESSAGE ME OR ASK ME!!!! :“)

svtkmg  asked:

how would the members ( + v) dance when they're at a club ? (zen dances like a white dad even though he probabbly knows how to dance)

(a/n i know this says dance but i expanded it to just them being drunk at the club and i included dancing because its funny lolol pps i got invited to a party as i was writing this so)

Yoosung

  • initially he comes to pick you up from the club because he’s intimidated by the people at clubs because ‘they’re cool(they’re really not)
  • hes really scared walking in
  • but he’ll wants to make sure you’re home safe so he conquers his fear (ง'̀-‘́)ง
  • he sees people chanting for you to down a drink and he meets ur gaze and its just like yoosung h e l p
  • so he comes over and chugs the drink down and wow i saved her!!
  • buuuut he’s a lightweight so he starts giggling
  • a lot
  • he loves ‘sex on the beach’ 
  • its FRUITY i should take it to class it’s one of my 5 a day
  • no yoosung its really not
  • but i taste oranges and and 
  • :(
  • a hyper white man on the dance floor 
  • does the boogie and failed moonwalks and wow look at mee mc loook!!
  • he thinks he’s really good oh my poor child
  • he’s so addicted to LOLOL that he probably runs around screaming at one point because i am a drAGON WARRIOR
  • ends up being SUPER paranoid 
  • when you sober up you try find him but where tf is he where has he gone omg he’s lost call the cops
  • security finds him hiding under a truck what the hell
  • apparently he heard sirens and he thought they were after him??? 
  • THEY’RE COMING FOR ME HELP
  • …why would they be-
  • MC..I AM THE WARRIOR THEY’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR 
  • probably passes out in the car
  • cries the next morning because what is a hangover???
  • why am i dying call 999 i’d like a red coffin please tell my mum i love her

Zen

  • he’s planned this night out for weeks but he’s paranoid ur going to die or something??
  • remember if someone offers you a dri-
  • i know say i have a muscular bf that will beat u up blah blah lets gO
  • thats my mc
  • you enter the club and he literally pulls out a flask of his pants and ur just like ????
  • listen, drinks are expensive and i’m not spending that much on strong flavoured water 
  • true & me too
  • at first he’s super cool as he hangs out with his old biker friends in the smoking area and you nope outta there
  • but when he sees that you’re drunk he literally jets back into the club and drinks with you
  • drunk zen oh god oh boy
  • he’s either bussing out boy band moves or either jumping up and down like a freak theres NO inbetween
  • either way you run away
  • he definitely acts cute/flirty to get free drinks that girls buy him and ur hella pissed off at him
  • but you hear him rambling to the girls about how much he likes you and quickly takes his drinks and shares them with you
  • winks @ u because this mf knows how to get free drinks how sly
  • u scared the undying shit out of me you drunk cunt don’t flirt again :((
  • he somehow ends up talking to his vodka glass when you leave him to dance
  • and he’s reciting his lines and acting dramatically - its a full on performance 
  • wow…i have a v attentive audience thank you guys I appreciate it
  • oh he’s also the drunk person who takes 100 snapchats and everyone hates him cos of it i know i would
  • when he wakes up the next morning you find him watching a youtube video of his drunk self last night and he just groans smacking his forehead
  • my manager is going to kill me
  • pout

Jumin

  • he’s still in his suit so he looks very out of place
  • LOWKEY EXCITED 
  • ah- this is a commoner club 
  • dissapointed when he sees sweaty teens just grinding on each other
  • oh christ thats a lot of leg
  • whines A LOT
  • i thought it would be empty mc..
  • jumin - its a club why would it be EMPTY you dumbass
  • literally jets to the vip section where there’s less people and relaxes for a bit
  • but he ends up sipping a little too much wine
  • tries vodka in his tipsy state and he looks like a baby who’s tried a lemon 
  • oh god o non nonon o non why DO PEOPLE DRINK THIS noNOo 
  • … actually give me 7
  • he’s so out of it now
  • doesn’t dance he just bobs his head really out of time to the music 
  • talks to everyone and everything (yes he talks to objectsabout cat wine
  • and *hic* you know cat wine *hic* will make a profit *hic* of 3 million *hic* kitten pounds *hic*
  • wtf is kitten pounds oh god what are u planning
  • leaves his card in the normal club area and everyone uses his card to buy drinks
  • um sir.. ur bill is £9867.37…
  • lol *hic* i want another water drink please 
  • you drag him out because he’s a mess gET OUT TRUST FUND KID
  • no no no i have more clients to talk to i’m doing business
  • you were talking to a chair before i dragged you out movE IT
  • in the morning you show a video of jumin hiccuping and rambling and he just straightens out his suit and walks away in shame
  • whispers to himself…what have i become

Jaehee

  • the club has an offer where all drinks are half priced and u just drag her along but she vows not to drink
  • lol
  • a ranting angry drunk who lets every thing in her head just come out
  • it’s roast jumin night
  • listen i hat ehis damn *hic* cat wine and his cat i mean *hic* that cat isn’t even cut e *hic* that cat hair is everywhere *hic*
  • stops mid sentence
  • hey you’re *hic* cute
  • she realises what she’s said in her drunk state and covers her mouth and u just laugh because same ur still getting embarrased 
  • she just word vomits everything but her thoughts are so jumbled up that she can’t finish her train of thought so its just random phrases and you can’t get a word in at all
  • i would quit my job but the pay is go-
  • YOU KNOW WHAT ACTUALLY
  • I DESERVE A RISE
  • YEAH
  • i caught trust fund kiddo with a pocky stick in his mouth on the floor trying to get elly to ea-
  • omg
  • isnt that animal abuse???
  • I CAN GET HER TAKEN AWAY
  • what the number i’ll call the-
  • you have to grab her phone out of her hand or else jumin would kill her but damn she was close
  • doesn’t dance but she just stares at people from her seat judging people verbally nd really loudly - enough for them to hear
  • she’s awful
  • shut up jaehee where are your manne-
  • but she has 2 left feet an-
  • you just drag her out because the girls are so close to clawing her face 
  • tuts the whole way home mumbling about kids these days but jaehee ur like 5
  • int he future she doesn’t even let u bring up that night because she lost 5 clients and jumin managed to hear what she said and he was v.v.v pissed 
  • throws a shoe at your head when you mention going to a club together

Saeyoung

  • takes you to some weird underground club for officals n shit with a secret password to get in and everything??
  • where are we saey- holy shit whY IS THE GUARD BREATHING FIRE
  • you learn that they’re robots that he created - well ofc that makes sense now
  • all the drinks in the club are just rainbow coloured and weird and theres blaring techno music where am I
  • recommends you every drink and he’s also one of the lightweights so soon enough ur both somehow singing to screamo (just screaming random syllables)
  • he’s that IDIOT who screams “DRINKS ON ME”
  • oh my god saeYOUNG NO
  • gets into a dance battles (does white boy dance moves) and he loses and breaks his glasses may I add
  • but its normal because he says he has 137 more?? wdym..?
  • when people hit on you he ends up joining in and hitting on you as well because u know.. drunk logic
  • are you a calendar because dATE ME
  • we’re already dating idiot wh-
  • oh well it did it hurt; when.
  • …when..?
  • when you fell for me
  • dies on the floor laughing at his own joke 
  • then after a while he’s literally really weird like
  • weirder than usual
  • if sunflower oil is made from sunflower seeds.. and sesame oil is made from sesame seeds.. whats virgin oil made from??
  • oh god th e government is giving us viRGIN DRIINKS
  • GUYS I HAVE AN ANN-
  • you cover his mouth quickly because theres probably government officials in here u IDIOT shut it
  • compliments random strangers while doing the finger gun action as u drag him out
  • points at stranger “u have.. nice shape d teeth *hic* me likey
  • probably laughs the next day because those drinks don’t give you hangovers (he created them) and he compliments his own shitty dancing on camera before pulling another pair of glasses out of thin air
  • bitch tf where did that come from?????

V

  • he tells you off for drinking at the club 
  • but ends up drinking himself
  • okay wow seriously the RFA have no logic - rika u hired idiots
  • he becomes really artsy and he acts knowledgeable 
  • but he don’t know shit
  • you know where rum comes from?
  • uh yeah isn’t it like a by product of some sugar process thing and its fer-
  • no. i’m going to tell you the unspoken truth.
  • you get a glass of water from the mountains, put it on the table, clap 3 times, spin around 4 times, say rummyrumrum and then it becomes rum.
  • (please bare in mind he says this super seriously with the straightest face and the calmest tone)
  • he’s wandering around the club and people think he’s sober but he’s really not he just looks normal
  • ends up taking thousands of photos on his phone until theres no more memory left
  • the photos are worse.. than jumins (collective gasps)
  • but at the time he’s genuinely freaking out because 
  • omg these pictures are golden i’m literally going to make millions
  • …they’re all blurry feet.
  • probably lets to bartender ramble about his job to him because thats v and he’s nodding his head slowly at him 
  • he’s not listening btw
  • suddenly gets up (srry mr bartender) and realises he has to take pictures of you because wow ur beautiful (he’s STILL cheesy when drunk)
  • those ‘pictures’ are just confused selfies because how do cameras flip again??? technology is hard :((
  • his form of dancing is nodding his head like jumin with some jazz hands from time to time 
  • zones out a lot at the club - everyone is convinced he’s high and avoids him
  • the next morning he erases all the pictures and literally pretends the night didn’t happen 
  • acts super clueless 
  • lol whats alcohol? i only know of green tea!!