if u dont know what im talking about thats good just ignore me

1 New Message (Part One)

pairing: connor murphy x reader

word count: 2800

genre: angst

warnings: suicide talk, swearing

summary: you are a poet on an online forum and connor murphy has been a big fan of your work for… well, for a long time. one day, he finally gets to the courage to send you a message about it - except it turns into more conversations about more than just the art.

a/n: ahh!!! this one is a bit more abnormal and all dialogue, with no actions or feelings or explanations etc!! if this isnt your thing then dont feel obligated to read it. but it is rlly natural and kind of fun to read at points and i feel like its very connor-esque. this will be split into 2 parts for your easy reading because text talk format might get annoying after a while (and ignore any mistakes i make in the format set up its a lot of work) but… enjoy ?? <3 btw all poetry is mine dont steal xoxo


July 31st

1 new message.

From monnorcurphy: Hey

From you: hey!!!

From monnorcurphy: This probably sounds creepy but I just wanted to tell you that Ive been following your poetry for a really long fucking time

From monnorcurphy: And I think that your newest poem is the best fucking thing ever

From monnorcurphy: Like it is actually perfect

From you: oh my gosh!!! thank u so much i didn’t really think anyone saw that

From monnorcurphy: I did and I thought it was really good

From you: well thank u so much!!!

From monnorcurphy: I really like the line about

From monnorcurphy: Hang on let me go find it

From you: haha ok

From monnorcurphy: “Every breath is a bell sounding loud in her head”

From monnorcurphy: I feel that so hard

From you: oh god, tell me about it

From monnorcurphy: I wish I could write poetry as good as u can

From monnorcurphy: Mines such garbage

From you: im sure its not omg

From you: can i read some???

Keep reading

answering asks!

just picked 20 this time. ill open asks again next week

some of the questions i got were answered in the faq too! pls read that before sending questions, even if you think your question wont be there.. it probably is JKFLD;JFS

Keep reading

Post-It Notes, ch9

on Ao3

ch1 | ch2 | ch3 | ch4 | ch5 | ch6 | ch7 | ch8 | ch9 

IT’S BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! honestly posting this is making me super nervous because it’s been such a long wait? which im very sorry about? so i owe yall a really good chapter in return for u guys being so lovely and patient <333 

thank you to @sadrien and @reyxa for being the best cheerleaders ever, love you guys <3 also HUGE shoutout to sadrien for beta-ing (ish??) for me. god bless i lov u 

as always, comments and reblogs are very much appreciated!!! (please reblog omg i want 2 know what u guys think!!!) 

enjoy!!!


Adrien is drowning. The harsh blue of the memory of her eyes pull him in deeper and deeper, and Adrien doesn’t know if he wants to stay above water anymore. He now knows for sure that the post-it notes had been Marinette, but he still almost can’t believe it. It feels like a dream that is too good to be true, but Adrien hasn’t woken up yet.

Adrien is so in love. And he is so fucked.

Adrien sinks into his chair as he spins in it absentmindedly. The words “I love you” scrawl their way across his vision again and again and again. He hugs the note to his chest.

“I love you,” he murmurs, swooning a little as he says it.

“Aw, Adri-chou! I didn’t know you felt that way about me!” Plagg coos as he zips into view.

Adrien rolls his eyes. “Plagg, you know I hate it when Chloé calls me that.”

“Adri-fromage, is that fucking better?”

“I hate you.”

Keep reading

~ still not gay ~

Word Count: 2 800

Genre: chat fic, coming out, coming to terms with sexuality, humour

Pairing(s): phan, tiny mention of kickthestickz

Warnings: swearing, so many spelling/grammar mistakes (all on purpose as it’s a chat fic), mentioned homophobia, sexual humour (not a lot)

Summary:

crabstickzzz has added PJ to the chat.
PJ: what?
dannyboy: chris and co. think im gay

A/N Shout out to the (formerly) ~ still not gay ~ chat, thanks for not believing I was straight. (Loosely based off my own unconventional coming out.)

Keep reading

dating jisung!!

this and one or two more willl be the last of the dating series….

BY THE WAY THIS IS PORBS MY SHORTEST SO FAR SORRY

anyway, lets go!


- whoo boi

- ok so

- you r in the same dance class as jisung

- btw you’re actually bETTER than him!!1

- the teacher is ike trying to teach a dance but!! wait!!

- jisung doesn’t know how to do a series of moves

- so,,, the teacher orders you do go into another dance studio and teach him

- which you don’t really wanna do cause he’s so cute  but you do anyway

- so now y'all r in the dance studio

- “ok so what part of the dance are you struggling with?”

- “erg,,,the,,,uh-the part where-,,,y’know,,, where this part of the song comes on”

- “jisung thats the chorus it happens like 3 times during the song”

- anyway so ya he was finally able to explain

- and you’re teaching him

- it was pretty tiring cause it was a high energy move and you had to repeat it like 4848498 times

- after you congratulate him is when he notices your beauty

- yOU HAVE THIS CUTE SMILE AND DJDSJKJSKJS

- so for the nest 3 weeks jisung ignores you

- and u get a lil emo cause u have a teeny weeny crush on dis boi

- jk u have une massive crush 

- so u confront him about it

- “hey,,,so why r avoiding me?”

- jisUNG FELT SO BAAD CAUSE YOU LOOKED SO SAD AND CONCERNED

- so he pretty much confessed right then an there

- he kept on apologizing so

- yOU cUt hIM oFF w A kISS

- jakjkjkajkjak yalls faces were so red

- anyway

- jisung always hugs u after dance

- like 

- no matter what, he gotta get his goodbye hug

- “y/nnnnnn”

- “no ur gross and sweaty”

- he didn’t sign up to be bullied when he asked you out

- OMG WHEN HE OFFICIALLY ASKED YOU OUT

- he prepared a dance and got the whole dance crew

- when u showed up at the studio NO ONE WAS THERE

- until

- you see jisung walk in

- and start dancing SJSKSJKJSK

- THEN THE WHOLE TEAM COMES IN WITH FLOWERS ANAD A SIGN THAT SAYS “WILL YOU BE MY GIRLFRIEND”

- DHHEDJHDJH YOU COULDNT STOP SMILING

- so u go in for a hug

- aND JISUNG TEARS UP A LIL OSSKOKSOKS

- moving on

- jisungs a giant rite

- so ur short compared to him (depeNDING ON HOW TALL U R THAT CAN CHANGE)

- when u hold hands u can’t even see your hands

- and he lets u wear his sweaters n shit 

- THEY SMELL SO???GOOD??

- like h OW

- jisung is a rly emotional boi ok

- dont hurt his feelings cause

- just don’t

- jisUNG LOVES ESKIMO KISSES

- HE JUST COMES UP TO U AND NUZLES UR NOSE EAJAKJ

- k tbh when you guys first met he was shorter than u

- and he has pics of it an d teASES U 25/8 

- “ahhehhahHHAH you were taller than me look at me now”

- “stfu atlas i can dance”

- “i- true”

- YOURE HIS #1 BESTIE ON SNAPCHAT

- YOU GUYS ALWAYS somehow reply right away

- kind of creepy but its guc

- once for a date, jisung suggested a horror movie 

- cause his hyungs said to

- big mistake

- JISUNG WAS MORE SCARED THAN YOU

- HE WAS LITERALLY SQUEEZING YOU AND LIKE HIDING HIS FACE IN THE CROOK OF YOUR NECK

- you thought it was cool until u feel smth wet on your shoulder

- jISUNGIE IS CRYING FUCKSKS

- you stop the movie an d cuddle

- that!was!your!first!time!cuddling!ever!!

- you were the big spoon

- but then you became the small spoon within a couple of minutes

- lMAO OK SO ONCE JISUNG WAS EATING WITH NCT

- AND YOU WALK IN THE RESTAURANT NOT KNOWS HE’S THERE

- y'all make eye contact for 0.00000001 seconds and suddenly all his hyungs r whistling and teasing him

- man all he wanted to do was eat some fries in peace

- lMAO ALL YOUR FRIENDS WERE PUSHING U TO TALK TO HIM

- u were ready to die tbh

- once u challenged jisung to a dance battle

- and beat him

- and he cried

- the suddenly taeyong comes and challenges u

- u also beat him

- and he cried

- JSJSKJKSJ IM SORRY

- jisung is such a cute bf though

- he will do anything for u

- like dye his hair green cause u told him u like grass

- LMAO TRU STORY

- but u made him dye it back to his natural colour

- jisung loves back hugs

- so much 

- he just wraps his arms around u and rests his head on your shoulder

- JISUNG IS BORN IN 02

- HE IS NOT 

- going to have a “fun time”

- he can’t even be kissed on the cheek with out blushing and stuttering

- y'all aint slick 

- anyway

- jisung is a precious bby

- he loves u with all his heart 

- and u love him too

————-

tbh im kind of emo cause i can’t write scenarios FOR SHIT sjkalklksl and I’m gonna stop doing dating au’s 

maybe i should do a drabble game? but its too hard to think of ideas cRAP

whatever imma just see what happens i guess

- emma

anonymous asked:

expand a bit on that au I'm curious

im very glad at least one person cares

  • ok so retail drug store AU!! im 100% shamelessly basing this off of my own job
  • about 1/3 of the store is cosmetics, skincare, bath & beauty, etc. the rest is pharmacy, OTC, food, and other general drug store stuff
  • have u seen drake’s video for ‘started from the bottom’? thats where i fuckin work
  • ANYWAY

this is really long. im sorry

allura

  • allura owns the store. she’s also the head pharmacist
  • which is always the owner of the store
  • in a permanent state of “my employees are fucking incompetent i should fire them” but never does only reprimands them
  • the cameras in the store show her everything thats happening she has a big screen that show all of the 24 areas. sometimes when shes bored and it’s slow she’ll sit there and watch the employees 
  • she calls lance several times and tells him to stop fucking around bc he’ll just be hanging around the front cash bugging the fuck out of keith and pidge and hunk, if he’s there
  • theres a betting pool w the staff on when she and shiro are finally going to hook up
  • she deals with customer complaints when shiro isn’t around; a lot of customers see her pretty face and think she’ll be lenient on them , but oh boy. ohhh boy are they wrong
  • she’ll fuckin shred em
  • she’s stern but a very kind and understanding boss

coran

  • coran is one of the front store managers (meaning he’s one of the managers of everything that isn’t pharmacy and cosmetics).
  • he’s also the product receiver
  • has to do a lot of cycle counts and damage reports bc customers drop things, especially cosmetic things, so often
  • its expensive
  • permanently stressed
  • jokes around a lot
  • will come check up on employees and see if they’re working or not
  • usually doesn’t do much if they’re not
  • just tells them to get to work but like doesnt actually do anyhing about it
  • one time he walked into the cosmetics department and saw lance giving hunk an impromptu makeover and said “dont do that on store time!” but lance offered to give him one too so coran was like ‘oh yes’ and never actually gave lance shit
  • very smart and suggests a lot of ways to improve customer service, ignores keith whenever he says ‘or we could not do that’
  • VERY protective of the staff, will fight anyone who treats them poorly

shiro 

  • shiro is the head front store manager, meaning he’s above coran but below allura
  • (fs managers wear blue collared long sleeve shirts and ties. pciture shiro wearing that. thank u for ur time)
  • the store is severely understaffed so shiro is permanently stressdt
  • because he’s the one that deals with hiring and raises and wages and whatnot
  • is literally the Team Dad™ and the employees go to him a lot when they have issues/are being harrassed by a customer
  • since they cant tell customers to fuck off they get shiro to do it instead bc shiro is the manager and can do what he wants
  • (shiro never tells customers to fuck off. not explicitly. he’s too kind for that. hes very good at subtly telling them off though. kindly.)
  • takes naps in allura’s office a lot 
  • is also in charge of what products get brought in
  • wants to go for a yearlong nap when lance and pidge keep suggesting all these weird sex toys and lubes
  • “look at this thing it looks like a BANANA shiro can you bring it in i’m gonna fucking sell this to that cranky ass old dude–” “NO, pidge, we are not bringing in a banana sex toy. jesus christ.”
  • “YOOOO I’D GET A THIRTY PERCENT DISCOUNT ON THIS LUBE ITS STRAWBERRY FLAVOUREDO OOHH” “i dont want to hear about your sex life, lance.”
  • no one knows how tf he got his scar or lost his arm but everyone always asks if he can robot punch the dick customer in the face and shiro always has to firmly tell them that’s rude and also, no, but only because theyd get fined

hunk

  • hunk is the best merchandiser (stock person basically, the ones putting products out and whatnot)
  • often climbs the shelves in the receiving room bc although he doesnt look it hes super nimble 
  • the toilet paper is always on the top shelf and customers always want it bc its always on sale so hunk is perpetually climbing the shelves
  • sometimes he gets stuck up there and isnt let down until shiro hears him screaming, sometimes hours later
  • shiro leaves him in charge of signage and sale tickets which is fine bc hunk always bums off half of them to lance (who always whines bc he has enough to do in cosmetics which is a lie because theres nothing happening there ever)
  • deals with a lot of shit in general
  • “are you sure you dont have any more of this in the back?” “well ma’am, you see, this thing here” (handheld device) “tells me we have zero in stock, so, like, yeah. im sure” 
  • has a small crush on one of the regular customers called shay, who will hang around and talk to him until shiro comes around the corner and says “Get back to work”
  • whenever he sees one of his coworkers being bothered by a customer he’ll come up and very cheerfully say “can i help you??” as said coworker makes a break for it
  • a VERY hard worker, always gets compliments from customers and even hugs sometimes from the regulars
  • always brings in cookies or donuts he baked and leaves them in the staff room for everyone to share; they always tell him to quit his job and open a bakery
  • hunk flushes and beams but would never leave this shit hole of a place, he says
  • spends like 70% of the time he’s in the receiving room dancing and singing loudly along with the radio, pidge joins him sometimes
  • so does lance and theyll play impromptu basketball with garbage and empty boxes
  • dabs at lance when he sees him across the store

pidge

  • pidge is the cash supervisor meaning theyre the one who deals with counting the safe, covering breaks, and dealing with customers when shiro, allura and coran have gone home
  • since the managers usually dont work night shifts, pidge is in charge almost every night from 2pm to close, at midnight
  • literally dead inside, makes jokes about it a lot
  • “hey pidge can you bring me a roll of toonies when you have the chance?” “sure, keith, i’m not doing anything anyway, only taking care of this entire fucking store on my own and wanting to die” “same” “nice”
  • will enter the staff room and announce “i hate my fucking life” and do a shot of chocolate milk
  • the tills crash a lot, and pidge gets at least 6 calls a day from lance especially because the tills are shit in the cosmetics department
  • “my cash crashed again” “just fucking leave it lance i dont give a shit” “i have customers” “okay ill come reboot it but only because youll cry if i dont” “Thanks pidge love u” (pidge has hung up already)
  • very small but always ready to fight
  • will literally tell a customer to eat a dick if they deserve it
  • one old guy was harrassing keith because he didnt have enough lottery tickets and keith was trying to remain polite (which he sucks at) and pidge came up and said “sir kindly calm down or leave this store immediately and dont come back”
  • covers lance’s breaks, since the department cant be unattended, and will shout across the store when they see lance stopping at front cash on the way back to flirt with keith
  • “YOURE NOT BEING PAID TO FLIRT WITH KEITH LANCE GET UR ASS BACK HERE” (customers stare)
  • got called “she” after specifying they want “they” pronouns multitple times, and then refused to serve the customer again

keith

  • is that stereotypical cashier that literally wants to die
  • “hi welcome to quiznak did you find everything you were looking for?” *customer bitches about sale prices and blames keith as though he personally chose the price* “okay”
  • its always dead from 7pm to midnight so he’ll just stand there and read a book, and pidge will be like “u cant do that” and keith will be like “too bad” and pidge is like “tru”
  • has stupid competitions with lance, will often compete with him for Worst Customer Ever Stories
  • lance: “this woman told me i shouldnt work in cosmetics because im a guy!! what kind of bullshit!! i didnt give her free samples” keith, flatly: “a man yelled at me for five minutes solid because we don’t sell duracell batteries and then threw his empty coffee cup at me and walked away”
  • the uniform is a short sleeved t shirt but keith always wears a black shirt underneath it and no one cares enough to stop him
  • he also wears his skinny jeans instead of work slacks but again no one cares
  • this pleases keith because he knows his ass looks great in those jeans, and he knows lance stares at it from across the store
  • gay
  • actually has terrible apathy and poor social etiquette and is bad at reading social cues which hes working on with shiro’s help
  • a customer sadly said “i lost my husband” and keith blankly says “did you find him” and shiro, who’s there for whatever reason, gives him a pained look, until keith says “oh god im so sorry i didnt realise oh god”
  • when its really slow and pidge is on cash he’ll leave to go “straighten up” the aisles but hes actually going to visit lance in the cosmetics department bc arguing with lance is fun
  • literally doesnt care about makeup or skincare but lance does and keith thinks its cute
  • if theres no customers pidge will get on the PA and say GAYYY for the whole store to hear
  • hunk will join in from the receiving

lance

  • okay so im a cosmetician so this is entirely based off of my experience
  • lance is one of the only cosmeticians. there are 4 running the entire department. lance suffers everyday. he might as well be the fucking manager
  • knows so much about skincare that it’s lowkey terrifying. has amazing skin. “Whats your secret???” asks a customer. lance will never reveal. (its glycolic peels and a good moisturiser)
  • also is incredible at eyeliner, gives shiro a run for his money
  • “youre a guy why are you working in cosmetics” “because im beautiful”
  • the cosmetician uniforms are all black, long sleeve blazers and black pants. lance looks really good because he’s tall and slim, and pidge always tells him what a gay look it is
  • “im BI, pidge” “i know but its a gay look because its a GOOD look”
  • its always fucking HOT in the cosmetics department because its far away from the freezers and the lights for the makeup make the entire dpt like a sauna
  • lance will cry about it at any given time. he BEGS allura to change the AC settings but she never does
  • goes to front cash to steal bags a lot because they run out a lot at cosmetics but mostly actually goes to say some kind of pickup line to keith, or to whatever cute girl is waiting in keith’s line (earning himself a savage glare)
  • always has makeup swatches up and down his arms and all over his hands and smudges on his cheeks; somehow still looks flawless, and he knows it
  • shamelessly applies makeup in the middlle of his shift, earning himself calls from allura and shiro telling him to work andstop doing that
  • he doesnt stop
  • when hes bored hell leave the department and go hang out with hunk in the back for like a half hour and claim he was printing signs when asked
  • “i may hate my job and want to die most of the time, but at least i look good” *finger guns* *keith rolling his eyes*
  • a pretty girl or cute boy enters the department looking for a consultation and lance flirts the whole time, partially because hes a flirty dude, and partially because he KNOWS it’ll up his sales. also he likes making people smile.
  • makes faces at keith from across the store when keith is standing at his cash looking like a zombie. keith responds and they have an ugly face contest

bonus:

  • after close, pidge, hunk, and lance will grab the trolleys and race down the aisles, often crashing into shelves or each other. keith joins sometimes and fucking slaughters them all
  • allura: i should fucking fire you all

title: build a home in me (i’ll give you a place to hide)
pairing/characters: promptis if u tilt ur head
rated: g
summary: Sometimes Noctis just wants a place to hide from the endless cacophony that is being the next in line for the Lucian throne. Prompto doesn’t have much to offer, but he does his best.
alternatively, how prompto accidentally became a willing accomplice to noctis’ self-kidnapping from all the pressure that is his life.

i can’t believe i’m back with more ffxv fanfiction but here you go, something soft because friendship is really important to me and i’m a sucker for hurt/comfort, also honestly let noctis rest already, i will Fight

>ao3 link <


Prompto waves goodbye to the other members of the photography club, humming to himself as he turns to head home. But when he turns the corner, he finds a familiar figure leaning against the wall.

“Noct! You’re still here?”

Noctis glances up at him. “Hey, Prompto. You done with club?”

“Yup! You wanna go somewhere?”

“Can we go to your place?” Noctis is already walking down the stairs, expecting Prompto to follow.

Prompto blinks at his friend’s back. They usually go over to Noctis’ apartment, since it’s closer and Noctis has all of the latest consoles and also just. Ignis’ cooking. But Prompto doesn’t voice his questions out loud. Instead, he bounds after Noctis. “Sure! Is your ‘guard giving us a ride?”

Noctis’ shoulders immediately go up. “Let’s take the train,” he says shortly.

Keep reading

Typed transcripts of Eric's Entire journal: 4-10-98 to 4-3-99

I hate the fucking world, to many god damn fuckers it in. to many thoughts about societies all wrapped up together in this place called AMERICA. everyone has their own god damn opinions on every damn thing and you may be saying “well what makes you so different?”. because I have something only me and V have, SELF AWARENESS, Call it exortenstiolism or whatever the fuck u want. we know what are to this world and what everyone else is. we learn more than what caused the civil war and how to simplify quadratics in school. we have been watching you people. we know what you think and how you act, all talk and no actions. people who are said to be brave or couragous are usually just STUPID then they say later that they did it on purpose cause they are brave when they did on fucking accident. GOD everything is so corrupt and so filled with opinions little and points of view and peoples’ own little agendas and shedules. this isnt a world anymore, its H.O.E. and [no]one knows it. self awareness is a wonderful thing. I know I will die soon, so will you and everyone else. maybe will we be lucky and a comet will smash us back to day 1. people say it is immoral to follow others, they say be a leader. well here is a fuckin news flash for you stupid shits, everyone is a follower! everyone who says they arent a follower and then dresses diff. or acts diff. … They got that from something they saw on TV or in film or in life. no originality, how many JO MAMMA jokes are there and how many do u think are original and not copied. KEINE. Its a fucking filthy place we live in. all these standards and laws and Great Expectations (webb) are making people into robots even though they might “think” they arent and try to deny it. no matter how hard they try to NOT copy someone I still AM! except for this fucking piece of paper right here, and B.T.W spelling is stupid unless I say. I say spell it how it sounds, it’s the fuckin easiest way. hey try this sometime, when someone tells you something, ask “why?” eventually they will be stumped and cant answer anymore. thats because they only know what they need to know in society and school, not real life science. they will end up saying words to this “because! Just shut up!” people that only know stupid facts that arent important should be shot, what fucking use are they. NATURAL SELECTION. KILL all retards, people w/ brain fuck ups, drug adics, people cant figure out to use a fucking lighter. GEEEAWD! people spend millions of dollars on saving the lives of retards, and why. I don’t buy that shit like “oh hes my son though!” so the fuck what, he aint normal, kill him, put him out his misery. he is only a waste of time and money, then people say “But he is worth the time, he is human too” no he isnt, if he was then he would swalow a bullet cause he would realize what a fucking waste and burden he was. – 4/10/98


as I said before, self awareness is a wonderful thing. I know what all you fuckers are thinking and what to do to piss you off and make you feel bad. I always try to be different, but I always end up copying someone else. I try to be a mixture of different things and styles but when I step out of myself I end up looking like others or others THINK I am copying. One big fucking problem Is people telling me what to fuckin do, think, say, act, and everything else. Ill do what you say IF I feel like it. But people (I.E. parents, cops, God, teachers) telling me what to [arrow points to do, think, say, act, and everything else] just makes me not want to fucking do it! thats why my fucking name is REB!!! no one is worthy of shit unless I say they are, I feel like GOD and I wish I was, having everyone being OFFICIALLY lower than me. I already know that I am higher than almost anymore in the fucking welt in terms of universal Intelligence and where we stand in the universe compared to the rest of the UNIV. and if you think I dont know what Im talking about then you can just “ßUCK DICH” and saugen mein Hund! Isnt america supposed to be the land of the free? how come, If im free, I cant deprive a stupid fucking dumbshit from his possessions If he leaves then sitting in the front seat of his fucking van out in plain sight and in the middle fucking nowhere on a Fri fucking day night. NATURAL SELECTION. fucker should be shot. same thing with all those rich snotty toadies at my school. fuckers think they are higher than me and everyone else with all their $ just because they were born into it? Ich denk NEIN. BTW, “sorry” is just a word. it doesnt mean SHIT to me. everyone should be put to a test. an ULTIMATE DOOM test, see who can survive in an environtment using only smarts and military skills. put them in a doom world. no authority, no refuge, no BS copout excuses. If you cant figure out the area of a triangle or what “cation” means, you die! if you cant take down a demon w/ a chainsaw or kill a hell prince w/ a shotgun, you die! fucking snotty rich fuckheads [Censored by J.C.Sheriff Office] who rely on others or on sympathy or $ to get them through life should be put to this challenge. plus it would get rid of all the fat, retarded, crippled, stupid, dumb, ignorant, worthless people of this world. no one is worthy of this planet only me and who ever I choose. there is just no respect for anything higher than your fucking boss or parent. everyone should be shot out into space and only the people I saw should be left behind. 4/12/98


ever wonder why we go to school? besides getting a so called education. its not to obvious to most of you stupid fucks but for these who think a little more and deeper you should realize it. its societies way of turning all the young people into good little robots and factory workers thats why we sit in desks in rows and go by bell schedules, to get prepared for the real world cause “thats what its like”. well god damit no it isnt! one thing that seperates us from other animals is the fact that we can carry on actual thoughts. so why don’t we? people go on day by day. rutine shit. why cant we learn in school how we want to. why cant we sit on desks and on shelves and put our feet up and relax while we learn? cause thats not what the “real world is like” well hey fuckheads, there is no such thing as an actual “real world”. its just another word like justice, sorry, pity, religion, faith, luck and so on. we are humans. if we dont like something we have the fucking ability to change! but we dont, atleast U dont. I would. U just whine/bitch thoughtout life but never do a goddamn thing to change anything. “man can eat, drink, fuck, and hunt and anything else he does is madness” - Based on Lem’s quote. boy oh fuckin boy is that true. when I go NBK, and people say things like, “oh it was so tragic,” or “oh he is crazy!” or “It was bloody!” I think, so the fuck what, you think thats a bad thing? just because your mommy and daddy told you blood and violence is bad, you think its a fucking law of nature? wrong, only science and math are true, everything, and I mean everyfuckingthing else is man made. my doctor wants to put me on medication to stop thinking about so many things and to stop getting angry. well, I think that anyone doesnt like me is just bullshitting themselves. try it sometime if you think you are worthy, which you probly will you little shits, drop all your beliefs and views and ideas that have been burned into your head and try to think about why your here. but I bet most of you fuckers cant even think that deep, so that is why you must die. how dare you think that I and you are part of the same species when we are sooooooo different. you arent human you are a Robot. you dont take advantage of your capabilites given to you at birth. you just drop them and hop onto the boat and headdown the stream of life with all the other fuckers of your type. well god damit I wont be a part of it! I have thought to much, realized to much, found out to much, and I am to self aware to just stop what I am thinking and go back to society because what I do and think isnt “right” or “morally accepted” NO, NO, NO GOD FUCKING DAMIT NO!I will sooner die than betray my own thoughts. but before I leave this worthless place, I will kill who ever I deam unfit for anything at all. especially life. and i fyou pissed me off in the past, you will die if I see you. because you might be able to piss off others and have it eventually all blow over, but not me. I dont forget people who wronged me. like [Censored by J.C. Sheriff Office] he will never get a chance to read this because he will be dead by me before this is discovered – 4/21/98


The human race sucks. human nature is smuthered out by society, jobs, and work and school. instincts are deleted by laws. I see people say things that contradict themselves, or people that dont take any advantage to the gift of human life. they waste their minds on memorizing the stats of every college basketball player or how many words should be an a report when they should be using their brain on more important things. the human race isnt worth fighting for anymore. WWII was the last war worth fighting and was the last time human life and human brains did any good any made us proud. now, with the government having scandals and conspiracies all over the fucking place and lying to everyone all the time and with worthless pointless mindless discraceful TV shows on (scratched out) and with everyone ub-fucking-sessed with hollywood and beauty and fame and glamour and politics and anything famous, people just arent worth saving. Society may not realize what is happening but I have; you go to school, to get used to studying and learning how youre “supposed to” so that drains or filters out a little bit of human nature. but thats after your parents taught you whats right and wrong even though you may think differently, you still must to have more of your human nature blown out of your ass. society trys to make everyone act the same by burying all human nature and instincts. Thats what school, laws, jobs, and parents do If they realize it or not and them, the few who stick to their natural instincts are casted out as psychos or lunatics or strangers or just plain different. crazy, strange, weird, wild, these words are not bad or degrading.. if humans were let to live how we would naturaly it would be chaos and anarchy and the human race wouldnt probably last that long, but hey guess what, thats how its supposed to be!!!!! society and goverments are only created to have order and calmness, which is exactly the opposite of pure human nature. take away all your laws and morals and just see what you can do. if the goverment was one entity it would be thinking “hey, lets make some order here and calm these crazy fucks down so we can be constructive and fight other goverments in our own little so called self created "civilizied world” and get rid of all those damn insticts everyone has" well shit I’m to tired wright anymor tonight, so until next time, fuck you all – 5/6/98


It has been confirmed, after getting my yearboook and watching people like [censored] and [censored] the human race isn’t worth fighting for, only worth killing. give the Earth back to the animals, they deserve it infinitely more than we do. nothing means anything more, most quotes are worthless, especially the rearranged ones like “dont fight your enemies, make your enemies fight” you know, quotes that use the same phrase just rearranged, Dumbfuck shit [illegible] wear. its funny, people say “you shouldn’t be so different.” to me, and 1st I say fuck you dont tell me what I should and shouldn’t be and 2ND mother fuckers different is good, I dont want to be like you or anyone which is almost impossible this day w/ all the little shits trying to be “original-copycats”, I expect shits like you to criticize anyone who isnt one of your social words; “normal” or “civilized” - see tempest and Caliban. allyou degrading worthless shits. all caught up and brainwashed into the 90’s society. “what? you AREN’T going to college, are you are crazy!” holy SHIT that is one fucking BIG Quote that just proves my point. step back and look at yourself fuckers, I dare you, maybe I’ll get lucky and you’ll step back to far like Nick in Elm3. w/ the same concequence. – 5/9/98


wooh, different pen. HA! alright you pathetic fools listen up; I have figured it out. the human race strives for exellence in life and community always wanting to bring more =good= into the comm. and nulify =bad= things. anyone who thinks differently than the majority or the leaders is deamed “unusual” or weird or crazy. people want to be a part of something; a family, a service, a club, a union, a community, whatever. thats what humans want. who cares waht you as an individual thinks, you must do what you are told, whether it is jump of a bridge or drive on the right side of the road. protesters in the past protested because the human race that was dominant (Ghandi and the Brits or the king and the americans) wasnt working out = they had fault = they failed = their ideas didnt work. humans dont change that much, they only get better technology to do their work quicker/easier. people always say we shouldnt be racist. why not? Blacks ARE different, like it or not they are. they started on the bottom so why not keep em there. it took the centuries to convince us that they are equal but they still use their color as an excuse or they just discriminate us because we are white. Fuck you, we should ship yer black asses back to Afri-fucking-ca were you came from. we brought you here and we will take you back. America=White. Gays….well all gays, ALL gays, should be killed. mit keine fragen. lesbians are fun to watch if they are hot but still, its not human. its a fucking disease. you dont see bulls or roosters trying to fuck do you? no, I didn’t think so. women you will always be under men. its been seen throughout nature, males are almost always doing the dangerous shit while the women stay back. its your animal instincts, deal with it or commit suicide, just do it quick. thats all for now. – 5/20/98


If you recall your history the Nazis came up with a “final solution” to the Jewish problem… kill them all. well incase you havent figured it out yet, I say, “K I L L M A N K I N D” no one should survive. we all live in lies. people are saying they want to live in a perfect society, well utopia doesnt exist. It is human to have flaws. you know what, Fuck it. why should I have to explain myself to you survivors when half of the shit I say you shitheads wont understand and if you can then woopie fucking do. that just means you have something to say as my reason for killing. and the majority of the audience wont even understand my motives either! they’ll say “ah, hes crazy, hes insane, oh well, I wonder if the bulls won.” you see! it’s fucking worthless! all you fuckers should die! DIE! what the fuck is the point if onlu some people see what I am saying, there will always be ones who dont, ones that are to dumb or naive or ignorrant or just plain retarded. If I cant pound it into every single persons head then it is pointless. fuck mercy fuck justic fuck morals fuck civilized fuck rules fuck laws… DIE manmade words…people think they apply to everything when they dont/cant. theres no such thing as True Good or True Evil, its all relative to the observer. its just all nature, chemistry, and math. deal with it. but since dealing with it seems impossible for mankind, since we have to slap warning labels on nature, then… you die. burn, melt, evaporate, decay, just go the fuck away!!!! YAAAAAH!!!! - 6/12/98-

KEIN MITLEID

“when in doubt, confuse the hell out the enemy” - Fly 9/2/98

wait mercy doesnt exist….


heres something to chew on….: today I saw a program on the discovery channel about satelites and radar and aircraft and stuff, and at the end of the show the narrator said some things that made me think “damn, we are so advanced, we kick ass, america is awesome, we have so many things in our military, we would kick anyones ass.” for a minute I actually had some pride in our nation…. then I realized, “hey, this only the Good things that I am seeing here. only the Pros, not the cons. maybe thats what people see, only the Pros, and thats why they are under control. but me, I see all… you can only blind me for so long. but alas, I have realized that Yes, the human race is still indeed doomed. It just needs a few kick starts, like me, and hell, maybe even [censored]. If can whipe a few cities off the map, and even the fuckhead Holding the map, then great. hmm, just thinking if I want ALL humans dead or maybe just the quote-unquote "civilized, developed, and known-of” places on Earth. maybe leave little tribes of natives in the rain forest er something. hmm, I’ll think about that. eh. done for tonight -REB- 6/13/98


As part of the human race, and having the great pleasure of being blessed with a brain, I can think. Humans can do whatever they want. There are no laws of nature that prevent humans from making choices. maybe from actually DOING some of those choices, but not from making the choice. If a man choosses to speed while driving home one day, then it is his fault for whatever happens. If he crashes into a school bus full of kidies and they all burn to death, its his fault. Its only a tragedy if you think it is, and then its only a tragedy in your own mind. so you shouldn’t expect others to think that way also. it could also be a miracle for another person. maybe the bus stopped the car from plowing into a little old lady walking on the sidewalk. one could think it was a “miracle” that she wasnt hit. you see, anything and everything that happens in our world is just that, a HAPPENING. anything else is relative to the observer, but yet we try to have a “universal law” or “code” of what is good and bad and that just isnt fucking correct. we shouldn’t be allowed to do that. we arent GODS. just because we are at the top of the food chain with our technology doesnt mean we can be “judges” of nature. sure we can think what we can think what we want, but you can “think” and “believe” you can judge people and nature all you want, but you are still wrong! why should your morals apply to everyone else. “morale” is just another word. and thats it. I think we are all a waste of natural resources and should be killed off, and since humans have the ability to choose… and I’m human… I think I will choose to kill and damage as much as nature allows me to so take that. fuck you, and eat napalm + lead! HA! only Nature can stop me. I know I could get shot by a cop after only killing a single person, but hey guess the fuck WHAT! I chose to kill that one person so get over it! Its MY fault! not my parents, not my brothers, not my friends, not my favorite bands, not computer games, not the media. IT is MINE! go shut the fuck up!
-REB- 7/29/98


someones bound to say “what were they thinking?” when we go NBK or when we were planning it, so this what I am thinking. “I have a goal to destroy as much as possible so I must not be sidetracked by my feelings of sympathy, mercy, or any of that, so I will force myself to believe that everyone is just another monster from Doom like FH or FS or demons, so It’s either me or them. I have to turn off my feelings.” keep this is mind, I want to burn the world, I want to kill everyone except about 5 people, who I will name later, so If you are reading this you are lucky you escaped my rampage because I wanted to kill you. It will be very tricky getting all of our supplies, explosives, weaponry, ammo, and then hiding it all and then actually planting it all so we can achieve our goal. but if we get busted any time, we start killing then and there, just like Wilks from the AlIENS books, I aint going out without a fight.
Once I finally start my killing, keep this in mind, there are probably about 100 people max in the school alone who I dont want to die, the rest, MUST FUCKING DIE! If I didnt like you or if you pissed me off and lived through my attacks, consider yourself one lucky god damn NIGGER. Pity that a lot of the dead will be a waste in someways, like dead hot chicks who were still bitches, they could have been good fucks. oh well, too fucking bad. life isnt fair… not by a long fuckin shot when Im at the wheel, too. God I want to torch and level everything in this whole fucking area but Bombs of that size are hard to make, and plus I would need a fuckin fully loaded A-10 to get every store on wadsworth and all the buildings downtown. heh, Imagine THAT ya fuckers, picture half of denver on fire just from me and Vodka. napalm on sides of skyscrapers and car garages blowing up from exploded gas tanks…. oh man that would be beautiful. – 10/23/98


you know what, I feel like telling about lies. I lie a lot. almost constant. and to everybody, just to keep my own ass out of the water. and by the way (side note) I dont think I am doing this for attention, as some people may think. lets see, what are some big lies I have told; “yeah I stopped smoking,” “for doing it not for getting caught,” “no I’m havent been making more bombs,” “no I wouldn’t do that,” and of course, countless of other ones, and yeah I know that I hate liers and I am one myself, oh fucking well. Its ok If I am a hypocrite, but no one else. because I am higher then you people, no matter what you say if you disagree I would shoot you And I am one racist mother fucker too, fuck the niggers and spics and chinks, unless they are cool, but sometimes they are so fucking retarded they deserve to be ripped on. some people go through life begging to be shot. and white fucks are just the same. if I could nuke the world I would, because so far I hate you all. there are probly around 10 people I wouldnt want to die, but hey, who ever said life is fair should be shot like the others too. - 11/1/98


heh heh heh. I sure had fun this weekend. lets see, what really happened. before going to the Rock n Bowl we stopped by King Soopers and one and [censored] picked up some big ass stoges. we then went to the Rock n Bowl and I had a few cigarettes and one of brand new cigars. we then went back to [censored] house where her mom had previousely bought us all a fuck load of liquor. personally I had asked for Tequilla and Irish cream, Vodka got his vodka, and there was beer, whiskey, schnopps, puckers, scotch and of course, orange juice! so we had some fun there playing cards and making drinks. we eventually made it to bed at about 5AM. got up at 10, went to safeway got some donouts and then I took Vodka home. the bottle of Tequilla is almost full and is in car, right by my spare tire and right by the bottle of irish cream. heh heh. I’ll have to find a spot for those. and by the way, this nazi report is boosting my love of killing even more. like the early Nazi government, my brain is like a sponge, sucking up everything that sounds cool and leaving out all that is worthless, thats how Nazism was formed and thats how I will be too!
11/8/98


Fuck you Brady! all I want is a couple of guns, and thanks to your fucking bill I will probably not get any! come on, I’ll have a clean record and I only want for personal protection. Its not like I’m some person who would go on a shooting spree…. fuckers. Ill probably end up nuking everything and fucking robbing some gun collectors house. Fuck, thatll be be hard. oh well, just as long as I kill a lot of fucking people. Everyone is always making fun of me because of how I look, how fucking weak I am and shit, well I will get you all back: ultimate fucking revenge here. you people could have shown more respect, treated me better, asked for my knowledge or guidence more, treated me more like senior, and maybe I wouldn’t have been as ready to tear your fucking heads off. then again, I have always hated how I looked, I make fun of people who look like me, sometimes without even thinking sometimes just because I want to rip on myself. Thats where a lot of my hate grows from, the fact that I have practically no selfesteem, especially concerning girls and looks and such. therefore people make fun of me… constantly… therefore I get no respect and therefore I get fucking PISSED. as of this date I have enough explosives to kill about 100 people, and then if I get a couple bayonetts, swords, axes, whatever I’ll be able to kill at least 10 more. and that just isnt enough! GUNS! I need guns! Give me some fucking firearms!
11/12/98


HATE! I’m full of hate and I Love it. I HATE PEOPLE and they better fucking fear me if they know whats good for em. yes I hate and I guess I want others to know it, yes I’m racist and I don’t mind. Niggs and spics bring it on themselves, and another thing, I am very racist towards white trash p.o.s.s like [censored] and [censored] they deserve the hatred, otherwise I probly wouldnt hate them. Its a tragedy, the human nature of people will lead to their downfall. Peoples human nature will get them killed. whether by me or Vodka, Its happened before, and not just in school shootings like those pussy dumbasses over in Minnesota who squeeled. throughtout history, Its our fucking nature! I know how people are and why and I cant stand it! I love the nazis too… by the way, I fucking cant get enough of the swastika, the SS, and the iron cross. Hitler and his head boys fucked up a few times and it cost them the war, but I love their beliefs and who they were, what they did, and what they wanted. I know that form of gov couldn’t have lasted long once the human equation was brought in, but damnit it sure looked good. every form of gov leads to downfalls, everything will always fuck up or yeah something. its all DOOMed god damnit. this is beginning to make me get in a corner. I’m showing too much of myself, my views and thoughts, people might start to wonder, smart ones will get nosey and something might happen to fuck me over, I might need to put on one helluva mask here to fool you all some more. fuck fuck fuck it’ll be very fucking hard to hold out until April. If people would give me more compliments all of this might still be avoidable… but probably not. Whatever I do people make fun of me, and sometimes directly to my face. I’ll get revenge soon enough. fuckers shouldn’t have ripped on me so much huh! HA! then again its human nature to do what you did… so I guess I am also attacking the human race. I cant take it, Its not right… true… correct… perfect. I fucking hate the human equation. Nazism would be fucking great if it werent for individualism and our natural instinct to ask questions. you know what maybe I just need to get laid. maybe that’ll just change some shit around. thats another thing, I am a fucking dog. I have fantasies of just taking someone and fucking them hard and strong. someone like [censored] were I just pick her up, take her to my room, tear off her shirt and pants and just eat her out and fuck her hard. I love flesh… weisses fleisch! dein weisses fleisch emegt mich soo… Ich bin dech nur ein gigilo! I want to grab a few different girls in my gym class, take them into a room, pull their pants off and fuck them hard. I love flesh… the smooth legs, the large breasts, the innocent flawless body, the eyes, the hair; jet black, blond, white, brown. ahhh I just want to fuck! call it teenage hormones or call it a crazy fuckin racist rapist… BJ ist mir egal. I just want to be surrounded by the flesh of a woman, someone like [censored] who I wanted to just fuck like hell, she made me practically drool, when she wore those shorts to work.. instant hard on. I couldnt stop staring. and others like [censored] in my gym class, [censored] or whatever in my gym class, and others who I just want to overpower and engulf myself in them. mmmm I can taste the sweet flesh now… the salty sweat, the animalistic movement… Iccchhh… lieeebe…… fleisccchhhh. who can I trick into my room first? I can sweep someone off their feet, tell them what they want to hear, be all nice and sweet, and then “fuck em like an animal, feel them from the inside” as Reznor said. oh… thats something else… that one NIN video I saw, broken or closer or something, the where the guy is kidnapped and tortured like hell… actual hell. I want to do that too. I want to tear a throat out with my own teeth like a pop can. I want to gut someone with my hand, to tear a head off and rip out the heart and lungs from the neck, to stab someone in the gut, shove it up to the heart, and yank the fucking blade out of their rib cage! I want to grab some weak little freshman and just tear them apart like a fucking wolf. show them who is god. strangle them, squish their head, bite their temples into the skull, rip off their jaw. rip off their colar bones, break their arms in half and twist them around, the lovely sounds of bones cracking and flesh ripping, ahh… so much to do and so little chances. – 11/17/98

“weisses
fleisch”
- perfect
- song
- for
- me


Well folks, today was a very important day in the history of R. Today along with Vodka and someone else who I wont name, we went downtown and purchased the following; a double barrel 12ga. shotgun, a pump action 12ga. shotgun, a 9mm carbine, 250 9mm rounds, 15 12ga slugs, 40 shotgun shells, 2 switch blade knives, and total of 4 - 10 round clips for the carbine. we……. have…. GUNS! we fucking got em you sons of bitches! HA! HAHAHA! neener! Booga Booga. heh. its all over now. this capped it off, the point of no return. I have my carbine, shotgun, ammo and knife all in my trunk tonight and theyll there till tomorrow… after school you know its really a shame. I had a lot of fun at that gun show, I would have loved it if you were there dad. we would done some major bonding. would have been great. oh well. but, alas, I fucked up and told [censored] about my “flask”. that really disappoints me. [censored] I know you thought it was good for me… in the long run and all that shit, smart of you to give me a such big raise and then rat me out, you figure it was supposed to cancel each other? god damn flask, that just fucked me over big time. now you all will be on my ass even more than before about being on track. I’ll get around it though, If have to cheat and lie to everyone then thats fine. THIS is what I am motivated for, THIS is my goal. THIS is what I want to do with my life! you know whats weird, I dont feel like a punching through a door because of the flask deal, probly cause I am fucking armed now. I feel more confident, stronger, and more Godlike. I have confidence in my ability to dese(cei)ve people. hopefully Ill make it to April, but that might not happen. Ug, Its been a busy weekend, I need to sleep, I’ll continue tomorrow.
11/22/98


yesterday we fired our first actual firearms ever. 3 rounds from the carbine. taught that ground a thing or 2. I even had the 2 clips in my pocket while talking to vodkas dad about senior ditch day. God it felt great firing off that bad boy, and hopefully I’ll be able to get more than just 4 clips for it. I dubbed my shotgun “Arlene” after Arlene Sanders from the DOOM books. She always did love the shotgun. Vodka’s DB is looking very fucking awesome, all cut down to the proper lengths. this is a bitch trying to keep up on homework while working on my guns, bombs, and lying. by the way, I bought that flask in the mall and I had a friend fill it up w/ scotch whiskey, only had about 3 swigs in the 3 weeks I had it. plus monday I gave my T and IC to Vodka, just in case. I never really did like alcohol, just wasn’t my thing, but It felt good to just have around. that argument on the 22nd was a real bitch, but I think I should have won a fucking oscar. I even quoted a few movies, remember “what the hell am I gonna do now man?! what am I gonna do!?” thats good ole Hudson from aliens. Sounded good too. and hey goddamnit I would have been a fucking great marine, It would have given me a reason to do good. and I would never drink and drive, either. It will be weird when we actually go on the rampage. hopefully we will have plenty of clips and bombs. Im gonna still try and get my calico 9mm. just think, 100 rounds without reloading…. hell yeah!

We actually may have a chance to get some machine pistols thanks to the Brady bill. If we can save up about 200$ real quick and find someone who is 21+ we can go to the next gun show and find a private dealer and buy ourselves some bad-ass AB-10 machine pistols. Clips for those things can get really fucking big too.
12/3/98


Woohoo, I’ll never have to take a final again! feels good to be free. I just love Hobbes and Nietzche. Well tomorrow I’ll be ordering 9 more 10 round clips for my carbine. I’m gonna be so fucking loaded in about a month. the big things we need to figure now is the time bombs for the commons and how we will get them in and leave then there to go off, without any fucking Jews finding them. I wonder if anyone will write a book on me. sure is a ton of symbolism, double meanings, themes, appearance vs reality shit going on here. oh well, it better be fuckin good if it is writtin.
12/17/98


heh, get this. KMFDM’s new album is entitled “Adios” and it’s release date is in April. how fuckin appropriate, a subliminal final “Adios” tribute to Reb and Vodka. thanks KMFDM… I ripped the hell outa the system
12/20/98


jesus christ that was fucking close. fucking shitheads at the gun shop almost dropped the whole project. oh well, thank god I can BS so fucking well. I went and picked up those babies today, so now I got 13 of those niggers. WOOHAH. the stereo is very nice, but having no insurance payments to worry about so I could concentrate of BOMBS would have been better. oh well, I think I’ll have enough. now I just need to get Vodka another gun.
12/29/98


Months have passed. Its the first Friday night in the final month. much shit has happened. Vodka has a Tec 9, we test fired all of our babies, we have 6 time clocks ready, 39 crickets, 24 pipe bombs, and the napalm is under construction. Right now I’m trying to get fucked and trying to finish off these time bombs. NBK came quick. why the fuck cant I get any? I mean, I’m nice and considerate and all that shit, but nooooo. I think I try to hard. but I kinda need to considering NBK is closing in. The amount of dramatic irony and foreshadowing is fucking amazing. Everything I see and I hear I incorporate into NBK somehow. Either bombs, clocks, guns, napalm, killing people, any and everything finds some tie to it. feels like a Goddamn movie sometimes. I wanna try to put some mines and trip bombs around this town too maybe. Get a few extra flags on the scoreboard. I hate you people for leaving me out of so many fun things. And no don’t fucking say, “well thats your fault” because it isnt, you people had my phone #, and I asked and all, but no. no no no dont let the weird looking Eric KID come along, ohh fucking nooo.
4/3/99

Direct Message | 2

Originally posted by bts-is-best-bias

1 2  3 4

Every single instance in which you were foolish enough to think that two hours of sleep was a sufficient amount to be a functioning, productive human being came back to bite you in the ass the very next day, no matter how many times it happened. Decorative rings of purple-blue hung beneath your eyes like the crescent moon you were so fond of staying up for, and your hair stuck out out in directions you didn’t think to be possible. But fuck, was it totally worth the satisfaction of beating out the giant rock in space as the sun swallowed it, bringing on a new day and an extensive amount of the stress that came with insomnia. You reasoned that an all-nighter was a necessity; you wouldn’t be prepared for your test had you not pushed the boundaries and tested the limits of the body’s ability to lumber on in spite of the fatigue it was plagued with.

Keep reading

Who should you fight from Yuri!!! on Ice

sorry its really late and im just sitting there laughing at myself

dunno if there’s something like that already lmao

also they’re all athlethes so i just ignored that for the sake of story

enjoy


Yurio

you should totally fight this kid. he’s, like, 2 feet tall?? 15 years old??? all bark but no bite??? also a lil’ rude motherfucker, i can understand why you’d wanna wreck him. just catch him while hes not wearing his knife shoes and keep from jolting, he wont be able to do shit. also watch out for his gay parents and psychotic fans. THEN you can kick his fuckin tiger socks off.


Otabek

Please don’t fight this man, he just wants to have a real friend and maybe to be introverted in peace. Unproblematic fave? Silent philosopher on ice?? Why would you wanna attack him in any way??? also kind of feel like he’d try to avoid fighting you with any way known to men, but would totally 100% beat the shit outta you if could not get away (have you even SEEN these muscles????). 

do yourself and everyone else a favor and dont fight otabek altin.


Viktor

Are you mad?? He’s, like, the vogue’s most wanted man of the last decade. You really wanna feel the wrath of the entire population of his fans??? Other than that he seems pretty fightable, but I’d still reconsider. 

Why you even wanna fight him in the first place? He’s just a bit silly, but otherwise outstanding man who likely just wants to live peacefully with his soon-to-be husband and lots of poodles, probably in a house with a big garden or some sentimental romantic bullshit like that. leave the gay man be.
(also he seems like a guy who might have some connections to mafia. if i was you i would not check if thats true.)


Yuuri

Please, do not fight Yuuri Katsuki. He might seem anxious and too kind-hearted for that shit, but believe me, he’s not the kinda guy you would wanna fight. he’s pretty competitive, wont take any shit from you, wont let you disrespect him or his precious gay family. have you seen what kind of shit he did at that banquet after some champagne? i bet my ass he would take pleasure in beating you up if you did him/his fiancee/their angry smol child wrong. its always the quiet dudes. 

100% he has something up his sleeve. Do not fight Katsuki Yuuri.


JJ

are you joking? go for it. this guy probably cries when someone calls him bitchbaby, spends more money on cosmetics than food and has his butt on a life insurance. nobody likes him (expect his fiancee and fans). he’s a professional pissoff. and you know what? you certainly can thrash his self-obsessed ass. youre welcome!


Chris

if i was you i would not fight him. dude seems kinda chill, but also fucked up. like, who the fuck comes on ice?? thats a whole new level of fuckupery. he might not have any inhibitions and i dont know if you wanna deal with that. also there’s a big chance he might try to sexually harass you while you struggle to beat him up. if you don’t feel uncomfortable/just want to get in his pants and dont know any other way to gain his attention than fight him, just do it.

so I’d say 50/50.


Phichit

Try beating that sunshine child up and I’ll fucken end u.


Guang Hong Ji

Such a good, sweet kid. His hugs probably can cure cancer. His smile gets rid of an acne and dandruff. His posts on social media clear skin and water crops. Do not fight him, befriend and then use him to make money of his magic healing abilities.


Leo

Another nice guy. If you decide to fight him he won’t stand a chance. But I don’t think that you two would actually get to the fighting part, there are so many things to talk about and selfie and you seem like a swell guy let’s go on a brunch what are you allerg-


Seung-gil Lee

Weird dude. Most likely knows all of your weaknesses as soon as he sees you, but also seems kind of air-headed? You might try if you really want. I would highly recommend catching him by surprise. 75% chance of winning then, i’d say.


Georgi

You probably can, but why? Just roast him. Tell him mean shit about his relationship with Anya. Tell him that hes a dumb cryboob. Make him reflect his whole life. He’ll cry. He’ll lost all his motivation. Become depressed. Then you can wave your black cloak for the last time and walk towards the sunset. Maybe kick him for a good measure, if you really need to.


Michele

He would really beat the flying shit outta you, but only if you tried assaulting his sister. You could send him official invitations for a fight ten fucking years every day and he wouldn’t get it at all. Try only if you have a way of destroying him emotionally. Like, Sara agreed to date you or smth.


Minami

Easy thing, but why? Maybe if he really iritates you, give him a lil’ slap of a some kind, but don’t be too mean, he’s a good kid. Also, his menthor might cut a bitch if you do him any real harm. Maybe try a balaclava? Idk dude just dont


Mila

Don’t even try. She’s beauty she’s grace she’ll give you a fucking run for your life and make you regret all your life decisions. She’s a real queen DO NT FIGHT MILA BABICHEVA IF YOU VAL;UE YOUR LIF E


SUMMARY:
RATHER FIGHT: Seung-gil Lee, JJ, Yurio
CAN FIGHT BUT AT YOUR OWN RISK: Minami, Chris, Viktor, Phichit, Leo
DONT NEED TO FIGHT TO DESTROY/USE: Georgi, Michele, Guang Hong Ji
DO NOT FIGHT: Mila, Yuuri, Otabek

And so the fam quotes saga continues

-K I SCREAMED PUSSY ASS BITCH OK
+You have levelled up to level 27!

‘‘Can I be a blade of grass
Bc blades are for emos and no one understands me’’

-Do I want a ‘‘botique and crafted’’ moodbiard, a ‘‘friendly’’ moodbiard, a ‘‘colorful and flat’’ moodbiard or a ‘‘hip and minimal’’ moodbiard
-Decisions decisions
+Make a ‘‘gay’’ moodbiard

-MY FRIENDS BUS DRIVER QUOTED SPOMGEBOB AND SAID WEESNAW 
-AND I WANTED TO CRU
+C RU
-SHUSH UR SPAMISH FUCK
+SPAMISH
-FUCK YOU IM NOT TRYING MY BEST
-UM NOT SUCC EEDING
~thats accurate bc youre spanish and you spam
~therefore
~spamish
+omg

-IBDONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS BUT I’M CRYING
+l i c c
~(:V) >:) =:O (:V) :-} :-[ :-P :-/ ;-) {·:-D ^x ]º ¿~´+2`3´-+12`3+`´+`)&%&)
-Aaaaaw, I love you too, honey

-THE BEST MOMENT TO WEAR A STRIPPED SWEATER IS
+now
-ALL TH3 TIIIIIIIIIIIIME
~WEESNAW

-and ry is drunk or smth
+ ;-;
~IM DRUNO ON YOUR LOVE
·RYAN WHY
+TWUE WUVE

-Nature is gay
+Of course
-I’d let her bone me tbh
~Gay is nature
+Nature gay is
+I love how we all ignored Babas comment about how they would totally fuck nature 
-I mean

‘‘im a tree fucker
aka a squirrel’’

‘‘Why does my phone autocorrect Nel into Nein jfc’‘

-Do you know the muffin man, the muffin man, the muffin man. Do you know the muffin man who lives on Drury Lane? Yes I know the muffin man, the muffin man, the muffin man. Yes I know the muffin man who lives on Drury Lane.
+Mythie I swear one of these days you’re gonna tell us what hallucinogens you’ve been using

‘‘I can’t belive the Cambridge Dictionary has siesta and fiesta into it jfc’‘

-We’ve got a tall uside down U
+yeah well you can go fuck yourself on that tall upside down u because i dont give no fucks about your motherfucking arches in the middle of your field you call a state

-Isn’t Pennsylvania like a part of Romania
-WAUT
-THAT’S TRANSILVANIA
+PFFF
~lmao

-When I Was A Young Quesadillamissouri is a fucking field with road signs 
-best name 2017
+Me
+I’m changing my name
~Quesadillamissouri
+stormy sierra sky Skaggs is now When I Was A Young Quessadillamissouri is a fucking field with road sings
-catchy

‘‘My mom: R u studying for the presentation?
Me, with doulingo in my computer: ,,,yes’’

‘‘Oh 13 yo me if you only knew
How gay you’d become’’

‘‘CRIES hes so cute he was eating a banana he noticed the camera he waved at it and continued eating the banana literally good 40 seconds of this whole vid is him eating a banana’‘

-i want to be vored by mothman so i dont have to exist in this fucking world anymore
-thats my mood rn
+I was having my Italian lesson in Duolingo and I tipped gay instead of day
+That’s my mood rn
-i was trying to be smooth when talking to someone and say mi life is better with them in it but autocorrect damned me to eternal hell by changing the sentence to say that my life is wetter with them in it
-thats my side mood
+LMFAO

‘‘Oh no not bagged drinks’‘

‘‘blinking is like your eyelid’s verson of clapping’‘

‘‘They tried to shove banana chips into my mouth’‘

-I love salt 
-I’m always a slut for salt
+I love death
+Im always a slut for death
-Relatable
~Same

-Why is that a thing 
-What are Americans doing with something as good as food
+Thats a thing everywhere
-It’s not a thing here
+Theyre in like the places you dont look at trust me

‘‘WAIT IS SHREKS BLOOD ACTUALLY 10% ONION JUICE’‘

‘‘SPONGEBOB PORN??
IT’S WEIRD CUZ I WAS JUST TALKING ABOUT THAT IN MATH’’

‘‘I was trying to look up gary come home but out of habint I typed gay
What does this mean’’

-I just read Fucking In The Kitchen with the straightest face while eating pizza I might have seen too much
+same

-I’ll always be a Texas girlllll
+Good thing I’m not a girl then
-YODELAYEO YODELAYEO YEDELAYEEEEE YEYOOOOH
+Why is she even yodeling
+We don’t yodel
~[Romania’s Eurovision song flashbacks]

‘‘and now i’ve created a character by accident whos called ‘‘Father America the Fifth’‘ and he needs a backstory’‘

‘‘tfw you randomly start humming something and then it turns out that youve been singing a religious song
i mean that was kinda expected since i spent 1/7 of my childhood at church’’

‘‘i just took a long nap and i woke up thinking it was the next day bc it was dark in my room and i almost started getting dressed s;kflsdfk;adf’‘

‘‘what is this feeling of not wanting to pass out every second of the day’‘

‘‘hello yes i have slept 12 hours what is this’‘

-wow
+?
-im expressing my emotions
+ah

‘‘go fuck your bathtube dolphin boy’‘


@prongs-chan @stammi-ravioli @makkakill @plushy-minami @space-asylum @rolord @ask-ageswap-viktor @spring-gay @ask-a-skater-fan @askyoungvitya @ask-yoi-viktor-nikiforov @phantasmagoricalcoffee @hatelikingbatman @ask-ice-family @nocturnal-narcissus @yuuri-on-heelys 

title: how to get a boyfriend: a comprehensive guide by kuroo tetsurou
fandom: haikyuu!!
pairing: kurodai
word count: 2311
summary: kuroo asks daichi out thru texts, then regrets it: the fic

for @maskyoursmile! i hope this is everything that u wanted!!

here on ao3


Daichi lets out a long, relieved sigh as he finally finishes his homework for the weekend. It’s only Friday, but he’s always found it much easier to do all of his homework as soon as he gets home from school instead of leaving it until Sunday night. It makes it a lot easier to enjoy his weekend, he finds, so even though the guys poke fun at him for it, he sticks to his routine because it’s something that works for him.

After a nice stretch of his arms and spine that leaves his bones feeling pleasantly melty, he reaches for his phone. He always turns it on silent and leaves it facedown while he does his homework to avoid any distractions, but Suga always sends him messages anyway so he figures he should probably check them and get back to him.

When he turns his phone over, however, he finds the screen flashing with an incoming call from Kuroo Tetsurou.

Keep reading

bts ships

Anonymous said: hi! i’m fairly new to the bts fandom and i was just wondering what are the ships in bts and the most popular ones? thanks for answering if you do!! love you and your blog!!!

ANON UR SO CUTE PLS OMG THANK U ILY TOO but anyways this post isnt about me…. its about the beauty of ships…. now this is gonna be long…. i dont know the most popular ships really but ill just tell u my personal favorites (with an *)! gifs are not mine!!

*NAMJIN (namjoon x jin):

Originally posted by namjinkiss

also known as my parents. namjoon taking on the manly father role whilst jinnie is the loving mother to bts and me. they are married and no one can tell me different just look at how he’s looking at him in the gif im screaming and they even have the same last name. you know who shares last names? married couples and family but theyre not family bc theyre married and meant to be together forever

Keep reading

wanna chat? pt. 14

on ao3
1
| 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14

i got my harry potter nerd on for this chapter, mostly because i wanted to write and didn’t know what to write about

also, i’m glad you all liked the previous chapter <3

dipshit = adrien
fergie = alya
no = nino
dancing queen = mari

enjoy~


16:30

fergie: its 2 quiet in here
time for the #discourse

no: no

fergie: shit im blanking
i need a topiC
@the babs: someone pls

no: i refuse to support this

dipshit: Anything?

fergie: yes

dipshit: Ok give me a second

no: fuck dude i just wanted a day of chill

fergie: babe with friends like us thats just not possible

dancing queen: What are we doing??

dipshit: Hogwarts house discourse
Go

no: i cant believe i have to break up with you

fergie renamed this conversation to “hogwarts house discourse”.

Keep reading

Title: Something More
Fandom: Haikyuu!!
Pairing(s): BokuAka, KuroKen (endgame); KuroAka
Ch. Word Count: 5.3K
Total Word Count: 5.3K
Summary: The one where Bokuto gets a text message from a wrong number only to find that maybe, just maybe, something wrong can lead to something right.
A/N: inspired by that one episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. and a convo with @shizuos about my need to have Bo in a box as an apology to Kuroo. also inspired by @meruems-thighs fic and this secondhand serenade song.

On AO3

Multichapter | CH1

Received From: Unknown
[9:06]: I’m sorry I can’t make it tonight.
[9:06]: Work ran a little late and I had some clients that had gotten… difficult.
[9:07]: How about tomorrow? Maybe I’ll let you give me a massage instead.

Sent To: Unknown
[9:12]: OHOHOHO WAY TO START OFF THE CONVO
[9:12]: that’s too bad
[9:12]: sucky clients suck!

Received From: Unknown
[9:16]: Yeah, well. It’s part of the job.
[9:20]: So… sushi tomorrow? I’m really too tired tonight. I’ll even treat this time.

Sent To: Unknown
[9:28]: not that i dont appreciate the invite
[9:30]: and now im really REALLY craving sushi
[9:31]: but u maybe wanna give me ur name first or?

Received From: Unknown
[9:35]: Wait, who is this?
[9:36]: I dropped my phone and had to get a new one and I could’ve sworn this was the right number.

Sent To: Unknown
[9:39]: oh man thats a bummer!
[9:39]: im BOKUTO btw bokuto koutarou
[9:40]: whoops idk why it capslocks my name
[9:40]: i guess i yell about myself a lot HAHA
[9:41]: nice to meet u! well it will be once u give me ur name :D

Received From: Unknown
[9:45]: Akaashi Keiji. Nice to meet you too, Bokuto-san.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

winteriron prompt: bucky runs advice blog and tony stumbles upon it, reads it and sees how nice this 'james' person is. so he shoots him a message as well. he sends all his messages on anon, signed -T. It's simple stuff at first like 'how to make perfect roast' but with time their conversation turn deeper and tony opens up abt a lot of things for the first time ever (they dont know who the other is) they talk and fall a bit in love, and one day tony forgets to choose the anon option & freaks out

Here’s nearly 2k of MIT-era tumblr nerds. Enjoy. You can also read this on Ao3.


Tony Stark has done quite a few embarrassing google searches in his time. Far too many, really. In the grand scheme of his embarrassments, this is hardly a ping on the radar, but he feels his face flush red as he types the words into the search bar. After all, Rhodey trusted him with watching his niece for the evening while he’s out with Carol, and here Tony is, searching how to hold an infant properly.

The first few articles that pop up are various family or maternity sites, coaching young mothers on how to take care of their delightful newborns. Tony skims them, eyes flickering from his phone screen to Lily (who is still blissfully asleep in her crib, thank god.) 

The articles were clearly written for people more competent with children than Tony, however, and he clicks from article to article with increasing desperation. Finally, one catches his eye - “How To Take Care of Babies - A Guide for Emotionally Stunted Men.” It’s on tumblr, more sarcastic than clinical, and exactly what Tony needs. The author has younger sisters, apparently, and the post talks Tony through holding Lily, feeding her, changing her diaper (ew) and keeping her entertained with minimal fuss.

Rhodey doesn’t try to hide his surprise when he comes back to find Lily clean, well-fed, and sleeping peacefully. “I’m good with kids,” Tony protests, of course. “I can’t believe you doubted me. Wait, you doubted me and left me with an infant anyways! That’s negligence!”

Rhodey laughs and promises that he’ll call on Tony next time his sister his out of town and he needs a baby-sitter. Tony bookmarks the blog.

Keep reading

scarednoises  asked:

Hi yes hello. I love Galra!Keith and if you have any thing to say about that please do, because I have been looking places for that and I have yet to find long headcanons for him. Also, love your blog.

im so sorry this took me so long to get to aaaaa but omg yEAH i have things to say about galra!keith he is *makes fists in the air* so good

  • first of all i like the theories of him not necessarily having another galra form, u feel
  • like… there’s no “Going Galra” and turning into his other form he’s just keith ft. galra
  • i am also a fan of the “keith’s mom was a commander taken prisoner by the galra on a mission and ended up falling in love with one of them" idea
  • so poor mama kogane… i love her and i dont even know her, she was probably super headstrong and extremely clever and just full of energy
  • she was gonna fight for that baby till the very end
  • she hid him the best she could and the other prisoners were honestly super helpful in keeping him a secret from the guards but that can only go on for so long yknow
  • they eventually find out and the galra can’t allow prisoners to have children in captivity because they have no use for babies and they have to rip that child right out of her hands kicking and screaming 
  • she could not bear it honestly i bet she went sadistic on her captors, yelling and begging and demanding that they give her her child back 
  • they sent young keith down to earth and left him at an orphanage, On the Doorstep in a Basket in the Pouring Rain Style those galra are so fukin cheesey
  • and that’s where our dear keith stays for a few years, as he gets a little older he can sometimes notice that he’s just different from the other kids (sharper teeth, sharper nails, pointy ears) and that’s when he starts to kinda hang back from everyone
  • he becomes a little reclusive bc no one looks like him and all the other kids keep their distance and he doesn’t understand why he’s being left alone to play by himself 
  • he’s been there for seven years when he starts acting up bc no one ever pays any attention to him and just wants to be noticed
  • he starts doing all these things like throwing toys out the windows on the third floor or knocking over the block towers that other kids built and when disciplinary action isn’t enough anymore they have to kick him out and send him somewhere else
  • new orphanage, same problems :(
  • now he’s in his early teen years so once he gets to like…. 12-14 he is getting a ton of weird changes that none of the other kids are going through (slightly glowing eyes, purple hair sprouting up in places, u feel)
  • and now since the other kids are older too they start making fun of him instead of just ignoring him
  • he’s… so lonely he just wants friends he just wants to play he just wants to understand
  • when he’s a little older he starts hopping from foster family to foster family, it usually goes okay at first and he starts to wonder if this is what a real family feels like but then they’ll catch something about him thats very galra and they’ll get confused and angry and keith will get scared and he will run away until he finds a new family
  • but.. this cycle keeps repeating and its starting to get ingrained into keith’s head that nothing is permanent and everyone leaves and im different and i don’t know why
  • after one bad last fiasco he hears about the galaxy garrison and signs right the fuck up because its something and right now he has nothing
  • i dont feel like i need to go into a lot of detail about his time at the garrison other than that succeeding so well in flying made him actually feel really good for once in his life and gave him something to work towards, his instructor/mentor shiro filled him with lots of hope about what he was capable of, he learned through his studies about who he really was (and had a damn hard time coming to terms with it), and that after the news of the loss of the kerberos mission was released, he snapped and demanded answers and stirred up too much commotion and got booted
  • booted from the garrison, booted from foster families, booted from the orphanages, he should’ve known that nothing is permanent and everyone leaves because thats the way it always is and thats the way it always will be
  • THIS POOR KID IM SO SAD
  • let’s skip ahead to where he thinks its time to tell the team about who he is
  • it took keith a hell of a lot to come to this point but god, after they went through all that shit with the galra, he’d fee like he’s been lying to his team the whole time and he can’t have that
  • because maybe, if he tells them instead of them figuring it out for themselves, maybe they won’t leave and maybe they’ll still care about him and maybe itll be okay
  • so far this team has been the most permanent thing in his life and the closest thing to family he’s ever known so he has to tell them, he wouldn’t be able to stand it otherwise
  • so… he tells them
  • and i know there’s a million hc’s out there already of how THAT goes down
  • i personally like the “initial shock, then anger, then understanding” pattern
  • the anger coming from our younger paladins who don’t quite get it but just know that this means he’s One of the Bad Guys and can’t be trusted
  • the understanding coming from shiro, who had his doubts back at the garrison, but tells the team that he isn’t really One of the Bad Guys and should absolutely not be treated any differently than how he was before
  • i wouldn’t expect the team to accept it right away, but i could totally see them at least saying that night that they’ll work on it and then over the next week it all starts to fall back into place and soon enough they’ll even start defending him if he gets any trouble for it and what do you know, everything is okay, everything is okay
  • keith is just… so happy that they stuck by him… he was probably just so terrified that they were gonna leave him again, just like everybody else did, but they didn’t and he’s finally starting to know what a family feels like and ggggga aaahhh this kid is making me so emotional i need to end this

i just realized that this is all angst but to be fair, galra!keith is not an angst-free topic but just for shits and giggles here’s this:

  • i am a firm believer of “keith will follow any laser pointer if u try hard enough” 
  • keith: *has to literally put a sticky note that says Do Not Touch on his ears bc of lance*
  • who’s that walkin down the hall at 2 am and accidentally stares hunk down with his glow eyes until he passes out from pure fear? its our guy keith give him a round of applause everyone

anonymous asked:

Please give me some hcs about Jason/Cass/Steph

YES sure my friend, they’re my kids.

(also thanks to my buddy  @officialprincesszelda, who came up with some of these, ily)

  • Okay so Jason might have some beef with the batboys™, but he actually gets along pretty well with Steph and Cass.
  • At first both parties were reluctant of trusting each other, but Cass has saved Jason’s ass a handful of times when he was too stubborn to ask for help and Oracle called her to comeafter him, and Jason decided to keep an eye out for her and her better half as a payback. 
  • (her better half being steph, of course)
  • Anyway, one day the three of them ended up working on the same case (“hood? What the heck are you doing here???” “Excuse me?? I was here first, fucking eggplant” “listen to me you-” “less chat and more ass kicking” “…fine” “whatever you say, big bad bat”) and when they were done, they accidentally had a sleep over at Jasons place.
  • (A.k.a his safehouse was nearer, Stephanie wasn’t on good terms with Bats that week, and Cass wanted to make sure both of them were alright)
  • Somehow tending each other’s bounds ends up on making fun of Nightwings finger strips, bad Batman imitations (dont let cass fool you, she makes a mean imitation, but steph and jason sucks) (Jason’s sounds like Darth Vader, and Stephanie cant say two words without laughing), and Jason ordering pizza while Cass and Steph try to find some of his old shirts to wear as pajamas.
  • ( “How many wonder woman shirts do you have, todd??” “if you dont want them you can use a batman one, brown” “its fine”)
  • It becomes a thing.
  • “I’m dead on my feet, whose place today?” “I will purposely ignore that joke, and mom’s out of town, you guys can stay over”

[From Zombie Boy the First, 04:24AM] Roy wants to binge watch the x files, I’m bailing out on you.

[From Eggplant Girl, 04:26] wtf what happened with batgirls befores fuckboys

 [From Zombie Boy the First, 04:29] a) that doesn’t even Rhyme are u even trying at all b) scully is my spirit animal, im doing it for her

 [From eggplant Girl, 04:33] we’re coming over, Cass brings the pizza

 [From Zombie Boy the First, 04:35] cockblocking much? But sure whatever, don’t forget the pinneaple

 [From Eggplant Girl, 04:37] don’t be fucking gross

  • Okay listen they have tons of nicknames for each other. 
  • The first time Cass calls Jason “Zombie Boy” , deadpan and in front of the rest of the Bat Clan, Bruce looks into the camera like in the office.
  • Back to the sleepovers, on their fifth one, Cass is trying to braid Stephanies hair when Jason burst in throughthe window, holding Chinese takeover and ice cream.
  • “What the fuck are you doing” he asks completely deadpan.
  • “Braiding her hair” Cass answers, giving him a look, clearly asking if hes blind.
  • Trying to” Steph corrects her, grimacing when Cass does something with her hair that makes her wonder if she will have to cut it off.
  • Jason rolls his eyes, and drops the takeover bags on the coffe table “Let me, batsy”
  • “Where the fuck did you learn to do this?” Stephanie asks later, amazed by whatever Jason did with her hair “did Talia teach you this??”
  • “Dont be ridiculous, Kori saw a girl with a hairdo like this once in venecia and fell in love, so Roy and I  watched a few tutorials online”
  • thats sweet
  • yeah, dont tell anyone, it will be ruin my reputation
  • what reputation
  • fuck you
  • Since then, both Cass and Steph make Jason do their hair when they have important stuff to do.
  • The hairdo Steph had on prom? A Todd™ original.
  • As a payback for the braid, Steph and Cass paint Jason’s nails.
  • Do you think you could spell ‘Fuck u Bruce?’”
  • Hell yes we can
  • Steph no
  • Steph yes
  • Jason no
  • People think Steph is dating both of them. Sometimes at the same time.
  • Tim has asked Jason at least four times if he’s dating her. (“That’s like incest what the fuck is wrong with you Drake”)
  • Bruce has given Cass -very awkardly- the  “if you like girls i would still love you” speech ten times already.
  • (Yes, she’s counting)
  • (no, she doesnt deny any kind of relationship)
  • Steph thinks its hilarious and says shes starting a harem, she keeps telling Jason next time she will come for Roy and Kori
  • the three of them are ??? so protective of each other ??
  • Steph and Jason are like “FUCKING FIGHT ME”, and Cass just appears behind either of them like “…lay a single finger on them and you will have your ass kicked”
  • Cass and steph probably steal 80% ofJason’s clothes.
  • STOP STEALING MY SHIT BROWN” “you boys have POCKETS” “THAT DOESNT GIVE YOU A FREE PASS TO STEAL ALL MY SHIT” “YOURE LETTING CASS TAKE THEM” “BECAUSE SHE     GIVES THEM BACK! WASHED! AND WITH CHOCOLATE ON THE POCKETS!!!”     “That…that was Alfred…actually..” “” “he says he would like to have a cup with you sometime, too” “...thats-BROWN IM SEEING YOU PUTTING MY CLOTHES IN YOUR BAG”
  • Listen to me, they’re the only ones besides Babs who can contact Jason 24/7. 
  • “We need information about this area” “Red Hood probably knows, maybe Oracle can find his current-” “No pro, i will send him a text” “…” “No wait, i didnt bring my phone” “I can do it” 
  • ( “From ‘Nightwing is trying to get me to talk about my feelings’ to ‘The Joker is out of arkham’, how bad is the situation?” “Mmmm, i would say ‘even Cass is ready to punch B on the face’” “shit, arsenal and i will be there in five”)
  • Steph cut one of his Wonder Woman shirts into a crop top once,  and he wore it just to spite her
  • She took photos, of course.
  • Jokes on you, Brown- my stomach looks amazing
  • Stephis obsessed with snap chatting their adventures
  • The day she switched Cass and Jason’s faces was the day she got an eight pack from laughing too hard
  • She probably got a picture of cass doing Jason’s nails
  • Jason says she declared war the day she posted the picture, because the nails were with the Nightwing symbol
  • (he lost a bet okay!? nobody can bet Steph on mario kart)
  • Jason’s snaps are of Steph doing mundane things, with looooots of zooming on her face while narrating the things shes doing
  • Steph’s are snaps of Jason doing silly things, like dancing in the living room while singing Call me Maybe, on his Wonder Woman underwear
  • and Cass’ snaps are mostly she looking directly into the camera completely serious while Steph and Jason do stupid stuff on the background
  • (yes, she snapchatted that time they accidentally set the kitchen on fire)
  • or at first its her looking completely serious, then she pans to her left and you see Steph stuffing marshmallows into Jasons mouth, while laughing histerically. She pans back again to her face while shaking her head, but smiling.
  • Basically they’re nerds together okay
vampire!hoshi

ITS MY BIRTHDAY TODAY AND IM PLANNING ON IGNORING MY MATH TEST TOMORROW AND MAKE PLENTY OF VAMP!AU FOR YOU GUYS BC IM A ROMANTIC PERSON this boy is just uGh u dont understand he’s been climbing my bias list since idk when:

  • vampire!hoshi tho he’s not even scary
  • morning dance routine
  • ok but every morning youre gonna turn on the radio while making breakfast for urself and when some song came up he’s gonna be like “JAGIYA LETS DANCE” and he doesnt care if its a slow song or not he’s just gonna blast with u ;;_;;
  • i can see him randomly taking your hands in his and started slow dancing with no music wHYHWYWWH
  • him showing you the choreo for their next comeback
  • “ok honestly do u think that was good”
  • watching random dance videos
  • you being able to read the hoshi’s note
  • “now thats why youre my girlfriend”
  • showing you his fangs to scare you but you only laugh bc seriously
  • but one time youre home and the lights are off and its raining outside+thunder you’d call his name and he wouldnt answer bc he’s about to scare the hell out of u
  • you literally screamed and was so frightened he apologized after that but you gave him a 24 hours silent treatment
  • it was like hell to him
  • “iM SORRY ILL NEVER DO THAT AGAIN PLS JAGI LETS JUST CUDDLE”
  • halloween with soonyoung tho ;;-;;
  • “can we be cat and dog for halloween?”
  • “no”
  • “ok what about mickey and minnie”
  • “nope”
  • he’d suggest some more costume ideas but theyre like so cheesy and weird
  • “OK THIS IS MY LAST IDEA EVER”
  • “what is it”
  • “lets be ash and pikachu”
  • and youre like “hmm ok id be ash and you be pikachu” but he’s like “NOPE YOURE THE PIKACHU so i can be like i choose u” nope not today soonyoung dont mess with my feelings
  • ok so u ended up being pikachu with this cute yellow dress and he even bought you the tail and the headband “MY JAGI IS SO CUTE” but you know what else he thinks of you beside cute????? sUPER HOT
  • 101001010100101 cute selfies taken of u with him
  • the other 12 will be staring at u for too long and he’d snap at them telling them to back off jeAlous soonyoung
  • making out with soonyoung hm.. …. … …no comment
  • i can see him playing a song as u guys make out probably on the table
  • and he’d purposely bite your lip and youll let out a whimper and it will encouraged him more aND MORE SOMEONE STOP ME
  • WOULD HE BITE YOU? YES ABSOLUTELY WITHOUT ASKING
  • well he’d maybe ask you first and when you said ‘yes’ he’ll go straight for it
  • and youre gonna grip his shirt as he pulls your body closer ;-; and its gonna be so intense and wowowoowoeei
  • “you tasted really sweet”
  • he will kiss you after that letting you taste your own blood in his mouth nPOE
  • dancing at 3 in the morning
  • “lets get a dog and a cat in the house”
  • “its cuddle time”
  • “i deserve a kiss for that amazing dance tho”
  • nose kisses bc he’s soonyoung
  • him being afraid of u leaving him just bc he’s different
  • “i promise ill never leave youre different so what? ill love you still” AND HE WILL BLUSH SO HARD AND BE LIKE “YAH WHY ARE U LIKE THIS IM SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE MAKING U BLUSH”
  • random pillow talks at midnight when you both cant sleep and he’d seek revenge being extra cheesy than usual making your ears turned pink and he’d just casually tease you about it but think that youre super cute and he just wants to kiss you
  • he’ll kiss you at last second and it might or might not lead to something else but i dont need to talk about that tho ;;;)
  • when he’s away or like practicing with the others your image will pass through his head and he’s smiling like an idiot thinking how lucky he is to have u
  • “WAHHH SOONYOUNG HYUNG IS THINKING ABOUT HER AGAIN”
  • “youre just jealous you dont have someone to think about like me”
  • HONESTLY HE’D JUST SO HAPPY TO CALL U HIS AND ONLY HIS HE IS SUPER WHIPPED I TELL YALL

ok im hurting my own self this is nice for more vampire!aus click here and can someone be a wonwoo or coups anon or basically anyone i really nEED THIS GUYS THIS IS UNHEALTHY BUT I NEED THEM HELP ME THANKU