if u aint got no money

@septemberfirst1989 asked for my unpopular bob’s burgers opinions and im both sick and a little turnt so im gonna do it.

Louigan is bad. Just bad. Smely. Not good. Bad ship.

Louise is bi but mostly likes girls. Shes aro but would still be in a relationship but it wouldnt be conventional.

Louise and rudy??? Grow up and are very good friends and he seems the type to marry and have kids and she’d be a cool aunt to them bc rudy has no siblings.

Can u tell i like louise a lot

Gene is panromantic ace-spec and when he grows up writing music and jingles and songs and whatnot he has a few kids with some guy or gal or person he loves and theyre sp happy and hes so good with kids bc he gets them and even as an adult he never loses that special magic and humor about him.

Gene and linda are both add and they kinda relate over it sometimes

None of the belchers are heterosexual sorry

My eye is twitching violently hang on

Tammy eventually works on herself and after a lot of development and ultimatums from friends she sorts her shit out.

Jocelyn is a lesbian and i love her i love my 80s valley girl lesbian daughter.

Zeke is like one of the best characters i love him

Tina and jj doesnt work well as a ship to me but id love to see them grow as friends and then maybe?? Something?

Jimmy jr is trans and jimmy almost cried when lil jimbert wanted to be called jimmy jr.

Gene is nonbinary or genderfluid

Bob and warren fitzgerald kinda tried bein boyfriends in high school but didnt want to ruin their friendship.

Bob is bi bi bi (bi bi)

Calvin is arospec pansexual and wpuld probably consider himself a demiguy or nb if he knew about that.

Felix spent his inheritance on sleek postmodern design and the best transitioning money could buy.

Cal was pretty active in the lgbtq+ scene in his younger days and always rly wanted to end up on broadway but life happened and also he got stabbed in the face when he was like 18.

Linda was punk a s f u c k when she was young and she aint let bob forget it.

The kids watch old movies with bob a lot and it influences some of their stories. Bob rly likes 70s and 80s stuff.

This isnt exactly unpopular opinions but whatever

Im belchoeder ot3 garbage but we already know that

Bob has hemophilia and highkey worries abt his kids bc theres a chance they may have it or carry it.

Bob is a spoonie he also has stomach issues and depression.

Linda had a miscarriage before she was pregnant with louise and it affected her a lot even tho she tried not to let on that it did.

Linda prolly had a gf or two at some point.

Teddy deserves all the kindness of this earth also teddy would be a really amazing stepdad.

Morts jewish dammit and hes bi with a preference for dudes and and and sometimes his work gets to him so the belchers leave him like a nice basket of things to cheer him up.

Bob is cute hes so damn cutw im so damn gay id marry that boy if i could hot damn

Wrev is so gay folks hes off the deep end here i go whoosh i go quietly into that gay night good night

flintings  asked:

ok so im rewatching s1 and the bit where gates says the crew won't be happy with $8 each and ok so i did some maths and thats the equivalent of around $640 USD in today's money, or around 600euro, or £520 like thats not a bad amount assuming they make semi regular hauls like that (and assuming thats at the lower end of their usual haul considering gates' displeasure) like wtf are they complaining about they aint got phone bills to pay they aint got taxes to pay pirates are greedy bastards

im laughing so hard

flint: im gonna give u 5 million spanish dollars

the crew: WELL WE WANT 5 BILLION SPANISH DOLLARS

flint: well thats a little unrealistic. this is hard work. 

complements & pick up lines for the mbti types

istj - r u a 90 degree angel, cuz yer looking finnnne- oh shit, right, yer lookin right
estj - is yer body from micky d’s? cause imma about to mcfreakin lose it
isfj - i rate u a 5 outta 10 & im also a 5 outta 10, and that means we’re equals
esfj - if u were a traingle, yu’d be like, the best one.  i swear man, yeah.
istp - are u made of copper and tellurium? crap i really gotta study for this test
estp - i got skittles in my mouth you wanna *chokes* oh fuck nvm
esfp - ur outta this world! cmon back sometime bro, love to hang out sometime…
isfp - r u a keyboard ? cause i could play you like a fiddle, oh wait fuck no w ait
entj - id offer u a cigarrette but like i don’t smoke, so… ?
intj - yer single, im single, coincidence ? no i think maybe yer the problem. 
entp -  i brought my librayr card so i can -  wait.. its at home.. its at home
intp - r good ppl in china ? caus im “china” find you! i fucked up i fucked up
enfj - i know what you shuld be for halloween , like a zombie, man they cool
infj - i aint got no money… nah srsly u know anywhere thats hiring?
enfp - nice pants, like for reals bro where’d you get em?
infp - ur hella cute and hella fine, but whoops u already got a valentine T-T

anonymous asked:

Flizzy my girl just left me and said she had another boyfriend for at least a month now, she just "forgot" to tell me.... bruh what the fuck do I do now, she acts like we never even met

aiight heres what u do.. grab a set of keys and a strong knife

wait till aboutt….november 23rd 24th  (ill tell u why in a sec)

around 2-3 am

park your car 4 blocks from where she lives  cause u dont want no one to see u

find her car, key the fuck out that shit not like one ring make it look like a 1 yr old was scribbling on that bitch

do that on the hood and all the doors and the windows too

then u take the knife pop all 4 tires

… might as well take the hub caps too..

then u get up outta there run make sure you’re not being followed get in your car and go home

reason i told u to do it november 23rd is u just fucked up christmas fam

she gonna need to repair all that shit she aint gonna have no money for christmas gifts right before black friday

in turn this leads to

her little cousins hating her

her siblings hating her

cause they aint get gifts

she gets sad :(  and cant enjoy christmas

you win

and the first person her friends are gonna say is i bet it was your ex

when she calls you u gotta say something like

her: andrew did you key my car

you: 

“aint nobody thinking bout you i got so many hoes now u leaving me was a blessing i got hoessss… i got hella hoes.. i got hoes ”

if taeyong happens to get on we got married let him be, dont you want to see him reffering to his wife as ten by accident

Flizzy Files pt 7

couple years ago i was on one of those sites where u make a profile and you meet people and shit so i made mines few days later i see this badddd chick so i write her we talking for a couple mins shes like call me so i call her we talking for 10 mins and shes like so when u tryna come see me ?  im like this chick is bad as hell she ready to fuck hella quick i thought i looked that good so im like shit u free tonight she was like ok what u tryna do..

i tell her a whole bunch of freaky shit she like hell yeah we can do all that gave me the address shorty gave me a hotel im like damn she rented a hotel room just for us.. this chick is sexy as hell  and said she was gon eat my ass and suck my dick from the back at the same time soon as i hung up the phone i was like

so i go over there she open the door in this lace bra and panty set with the socking body was flawless she got abs and a bellybutton ring im like whewww

so she like sit down, she start rubbing my back im like fuck all dat i grab her put her on the bed slide her panties off eat her for 25 mins no breaks didnt come up for air one time then i ate the ass for like a good 10 mins, she starts topping me off crazy, head so good it sound like when u flush the toilet, head so good it sound like when u let all the water out the tub, head so good sound like when u using a straw to suck up the last bit of soda in the bottom of the cup under all the ice, so then we fuck or whateva… then she like wanna go again ? im like hell yeah so we go again for another hour… im like i put in work, i was ready to wife this chick… so then she goes that was great that will be 725 i thought she said hi 5 so i put my hand up like

shes like no silly 725

i look at her like

what that mean…

shes like money u aint read my profile ? she pulls up her profile shorty and escort and it has prices in her little about me section ….. u know niggas dont read profile we just look at the pictures.. so im like i ain even see nothing like that.. im like why u aint tell me that before i came over shes like i had to make sure u werent a cop im like shawty… but too mee i seen hbo specials so im like arent u supposed to ask for the money before hand shes like no cause u could be a cop… im like shawty i aint got no money i ain even know she starts wilding out goes and stands by the door and blocks me in saying i aint leaving till she gets paid im like fuck it im calling the cops you’re not allowing me to leave she say call em, so i dial 922 i fake dialed i aint really bout to call no cops and get arrested even though technically i aint know i was soliciting so im fake talking to the operator im like yes this woman is trapping me in a room and wont let me go yes im like yes she says she has a gun too

this bitch like why u lyingggg omgg comes over to get the phone… soon as she grab the phone im like… shorty smh i cant believe you would…

run for the door i get out she chasing me im too fast i was like a track star, got in the whip and pulled off at like 70 mph soon as i get home she sent me mad messages going off so i look at her profile and i see mad dudes commenting “ had fun with u tonight” “had fun with u this afternoon so i realize i just ate this hoes puussy for 30 minss and i ate her ass too and i was problably the 10th dude who ate and fucked her that day…. on god that night i brushed my teeth, rinsed my mouth with baking soda, mouthwash and tears… for like an hour..

moral of the story: Read girls full profile

anonymous asked:

My bf and I broke up like 2 weeks ago and idk if I should keep trying to get him back, I really liked him 😔, but he's been texting back like he doesn't even care when he claiming he still likes me a lot and cares for me. I just don't see why he broke up with me if he says he still likes me. I've showed most of my close friends what he's been replying recently and they said he's an asshole and that I should just stop bc I'm only gonna keep getting hurt.I like him so much and its just so hard 😞

he seems immature and unsure of what he wants…if he wants u, he wants u. simple as that..if he dumps u then give him what his indecisive ass wants and move on! AINT NOBODY GOT TIME FOR DAT SHIT MAKE MONEY AND FIND A REAL DOWN ASS LOVER

kittycunny reblogged your post:

nigger

why do yall continue to do this to yourselves i was gon let it slide … but im too prideful

smart move deleting your theme code before people could send you hate mail and research your transgressions on your blog… but…. you forgot one minor detail …

you fucked up young

where u fucked up at was u aiiin know all a brotha had to do was type archive into your url and your history came at me like a pop up book

im not even gonna talk about endless amounts of cartoon furry animal porn on your blog because imma man of honor

why u got no sheets on your bed ? i know your skin hurt when u wake up … static shock is a bitch aint it young ?

hair look like it smell like Rottweiler paws

you think u a model huh wit yo cute ass nipples they’re so adorable

you look like scott disick if he hadnt showered in 3 years, didnt have all the money, the good looks, was addicted to meth and lived in a trailer park with his mom who’s also his aunt

this you or nah ?

exhibit b

yeeeeeoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

so i understand you’re gay or bisexual thats cool and all but idk why you showing your flapjack pancake top 3 flattest things on the planet national geographic ass 

have some decency Archibald nobody wanna see that

i guess it aint only white girls who got no booty

who u tryna turn on with this malnourished ass a gay dude cant even grab a handful while he hitting it, hand gon slip off the slide and all dat

do some squats or sum'n young this is depressing

imma chill though have a good day ihop

He says I aint worried bout nothing Rihabilitation just got me worrying bout fuckin. MONEY DECISION making got me worry bout stuntin, $he worrying bout me her nigga worrying bout cuffin. I wanna see her body $he said get inside of me, I wanna feel u baby just bring the animal right out of me. We lovin she lovin, especially when I go down on her. Now we fuckin she thuggin, GETTIN LOUD.

Made with SoundCloud

anonymous asked:

well if i was ur boyfriend i'll never let u go keep u on my arms girl u'll never be alone i could be a gentleman anything u want if i was ur boyfriend i nvr let u go imma take u places u aint nvr been before bbay take a chance girl u'll never ever know i got money in my pocket that i'll really like to blow swag swga swag on u chillin by the fire while we eatin fondue i dont know about me but i know abt u so say hello to foswaggie in three two swaggie i'd like to be anything u want hey girl lemme

anonymous asked:

R u a feminist/antifeminist? (or neither of that)

haha i dont get how anyone can be anti feminist? i want women to be equal with me so they can pay for their own shit i aint got money for that