if this isnt perfection then what on earth

autisticdominator-deactivated20  asked:

tell us about the "really gay family au" because those are always the best au's please

the best kind of aus tbh be honest

ok so like i was gonna draw something for this au but im tired so im just gonna rant about it maybe ill draw somethin later

so like remmber these two girls from the Legend

theyre like 2 of my favorite minor characters in the entire show (their names are Angela and Melodie for those who have forgotten) (i love them a lot)

well one day during Wander and Sylvia’s usual shenanigans, they come across these two girls again, who seem to be separated from their family. they have nowhere to go or anyone to stay with, so Wander and Sylvia are happy to take care of them and help them find their folks. The problem is, tho, that wander and sylvia don’t exactly have safe living accommodations??? like they just sleep on whatever random planet they can find which is ok for them but its not exactly doable when theyve got two children tagging along??? so they need to find temporary living quarters just so that these kids are safe and warm and happy

And what place is safer than the skullship

I don’t know HOW Wander and Sylvia would convince Hater + company into letting them and these two random children stay on their ship. Maybe hater has a soft spot for kids??? maybe Hater has just given up to the point were he doesn’t care that wander just has these children on his ship???? idk the reason but either way there are these children on this ship and this is where the Familial Shenanigans begin

like???? from what the episode the Legend tells us, Angela is a nonverbal little kid and she probably frolics around the skullship and cant sleep w/out her stuffed animal (its a comfort item) and shes a delightful child and then theres Melodie whos the Teenager and she isnt necessarily a moody teenager but she’s a teenager nonetheless

and just???? Dad Wander who sings lullabies at night w/ his banjo and is super supportive and gets REALLY ANGRY if someone dares implies that these kids arent perfect angels who graced this earth wander is a canon pta mom listen. Awkward Dad Hater who isnt very… dad material but he just kind of… understands kids??? Like Melodie groans in frustration (as teenagers do) and haters like “UGH same” and he lets Angela climb on him and hes just??? Surprisingly rlly good with kids bc hes got a high pain tolerance and just kind of understands them rly well and plays video games w Melodie and stuff?? and then theres lesbian Aunt Sylvia whos super cool and both kids feel rlly safe around her and she lets them ride her back and shes just. rlly cool and rlly great. and then theres Gay Uncle Peepers who is the last person to get used to the fact that oh hey suddenly we’re taking care of these kids but once he gets used to it, he becomes the SUPER mom (hater and wander are both the Cool parents who let their kids do anything, so its up to sylvia and peepers to step up to the plate MOSTLY peepers) and he’s the one making sure that these kids get healthy meals and arent being super pampered??? especially then theyve got like HUNDREDS OF WATCHDOGS who love these kids and???? family shenanigans. i love it so mcuh

(also all of this Parenting brings hater and wander a lot closer??? like hater’s train of thought is like “i cant destroy wander today, he’s taking Melodie to that arcade tomorrow, he promised” and its rlly gay and theyre both repressing these hardcore crushes on each other super hard and im dying)

but its also kind of Sad because the entire time, all of them are aware that this is all just temporary, that they’re looking for Angela and Melodie’s family. but then it gets even Sadder when melodie tearfully reviews to Wander that their family has been dead for ages, long before she even bet wander and syl to begin with, that she has been the sole provider for angela for all of these years and she feels bad intruding on everyone’s hospitality like this but she had nowhere else to turn and she just wants her sister to be safe, and Wander’s response to all of this is a resounding:

and????? Yeah theres probably a lot more to this (like when they enroll melodie and angela into school anD WANDER AND HATER GO TO PTA MEETINGS OH GOD) but yeah and while writing this i realized that this is all just one big fuckign Despicable Me AU like big evil guy raising these foster daughters and his minions (watchdogs) help to raise them and christ look at Gru and his fuckign love interest if this isnt some lowkey hater/wander shit right here

anyways thats the au and its rlly gay and bad but im gay and weak and love family shenanigans idk

also please consider: scary aunt lesbian Dominator who tries to win over these girls’ favor with lavish gifts as if she didnt destroy their home planet that one time

“Because of what you did to my colony! Because of what you did to my planet! Because of what you did to my Diamond!”
Okay, let’s get down to business;
So not only is Jasper one of my favorite villains in Steven Universe but she definitely is my favorite gem altogether so seeing her so defeated (and having to resort to fusing with a corrupted gem) and corrupted is heartbreaking. The cracks in her voice and absolute SADNESS in her tone just isn’t like her at all and this scene reminds me of Azula’s downfall in ATLA.
Now onto the fun part; What I (we) learned/know has been confirmed so far from Summer of Steven:
Rose Quartz is a Quartz Warrior from a Kindergarten Colony on Earth, is NOT Pink Diamond at all (my theory for that is sunk) and is a former member of Pink Diamond’s Court.
Rose did something awful to Jasper’s colony (in Jasper’s eyes) and what I think that means is she means the entire EARTH and Rose Quartz’s rebellion ruined Jasper’s perfect world. Rose and the CG’s also probably destroyed the other quartzes from Jasper’s kindergarten.
Jasper is (was) a perfect Quartz Warrior
Uncorrupted and corrupted gems CAN fuse, but corruption is contagious and will lead to the corruption of the uncorrupted gem.
Steven CAN fuse with the other gems and not just humans, so I’m glad I and many others were right about that (I love Smokey Quartz.)
Now onto a little theory I have; “What you did to my diamond! …PINK DIAMOND!” So I strongly believe that Pink Diamond was in command of all of the Kindergartens on Earth and Rose didn’t like that so my theory is that, to start the rebellion, Pink Diamond was shattered by Rose Quartz in a duel, and was the first and last gem Rose would ever shatter and she kept secrets so maybe she didn’t even tell the CG’s about it. POSSIBLY.
I was like crying an hour after this episode aired because of this scene. I love Jasper so much as a character and she just wanted revenge for her “family” ;_; I hope somehow Steven and the CG’s can help her, maybe put her in Rose’s fountain? And maybe we can get some more backstory!