if this is real i am so screwed

Thank you.

I don’t even know if you pay attention to this but… I need to say that, kay? Thank you for creating such an amazing character like Ink. Seriously, he’s great. He’s so great that I finally decided to start working on reaching one of my biggest dreams - yea, I really wanted to become a nice digital painter or even an animator since few years. But I have never found any motivation or inspiration, until now. Nowdays, when I’m sitting at the desk with a pencil in my hands, I’m feeling that I can finally do it. And when I’m starting to think “oh my god, why I am even doing this, I’m so bad, screw it”, I’m reminding myself of Ink. “Golly, I can feel he’s watchin’ me, I can’t give up, what would he think, I’d better get back to work before he throw something at me”. You know, that’s really weird - how fictional persona can affect on real people. But for every fictional character stands a real person with good attitudes (in this case it’s you).
Well, I know it isn’t really related to Ink’s birthday and I can’t even draw something for him (‘cos I still suck at it,  I’m starting from zero) but I was waiting sooo long to write this. You’re an amazing person. Ink is an amazing character. And I promise you, next year I’m going to draw something really good for you both, but now everything I can say is “Happy Birthday, Inky. Please, do not stop watchin’ me”.

This really touched me, love, like, it hit deep man. This is all really freaking nice to hear and it makes me happy. Thank you for taking the time to write this, although you’re showing you’re grateful for my character, I’m very grateful for reading such nice words ;_; And it’s not a problem if it’s not related to Ink birthday, it’s still a nice day and I’m looking forward to seeing your work <3 Never lose that determination and believe in yourself if you feel like it’s the thing you want to do, it’s the key to personal success :) <3

Remember how I said I wrote an essay breaking down Tendou's character? Well here it is

So let’s talk about Tendou Satori. When he was first introduced, he was automatically deemed as a villain. Although, as the season commenced, bits and pieces of his back story were unveiled, revealing as to why he could be seen as malicious. Many people still portray him as such, although, he’s far from it. Tendou Satori is broken. He’s been hurt all his life up until high school. Tendou Satori is broken, but he’s brave, he’s shattered but he’s strong. Tendou Satori is arguably the most complex, enigmatic character in the whole show, and it’s about time someone cracked the enigma.

When Tendou Satori was in elementary school, presumably when he was nine or ten, he was bullied. Before the scene begins, you get a little visual of young Tendou. The audience can already infer what kind of child he was. Naturally, he’s awkward. He’s gangly, has wide eyes and a tired face, a bowl cut, and undeniably looks a little bit like a horror movie child, but you can’t help but love him, because any sensible person knows what this child is going through, if your first thoughts of him were negative. Riddle me this, how do you expect a nine year old child to react to someone more powerful than him referring to him as a monster? How do you expect a mere child to handle years of torment, years of being cast out of doing something he loves because of who he is? He breaks. This torment was the first shatter in Tendou’s heart, and by far, the largest fracture. Of course, it isn’t implied, not much is implied besides the fact that he is bullied, but we can infer that Tendou took this bullying rough. You can expect tears, and tantrums and trauma. To many, being cast out and bullied away from a sport or hobby would overall make said person hate said activity, but Tendou didn’t quite give up. It isn’t shown, but somehow, Tendou got his way into playing a match against his bullies and presumably, he won. Can you imagine Tendou Satori, the nine year old boy who has been bullied for so long, finally feeling a sliver of power? He knows the pain these people have put him through. The tears, the deprecation. The nine year old boy who was learning to hate himself far before he should ever start feeling any insecurity. To finally, finally see the slightest bit of pain in the tormentor’s eyes was enough to make up for all the pain that dwelled in his. He was happy, of course, who wouldn’t be? In that moment he knew what these kids would do, only because he’s done it so many times himself. They would go home, upset. They’d drop their bookbags by the door then storm to their bedroom and cry. They’d cry out the frustration, the embarrassment, the welled up hate. For Tendou, imagining other people finally experiencing relative torment was better than any apology. This is the first turning point in Tendou’s personality, that Guess Block of his. Tendou got a feeling of pride after this, and of course, naturally, he was going to hold onto the only thing that made him feel powerful. The Guess Block. The wonderful, magnificent move that would bring him to power. Right?

As Tendou moved onto middle school, it is evident that he has been accepted, but only in the slightest. During his last year, it shows that he has styled his hair differently. Automatically, its remorseful. His demons haven’t abandoned him, and to be accepted, Tendou tried to fix the only part of him that could be easily fixed, his hair. Although, fixing his hair doesn’t bring him to acceptance. He keeps the Guess Block close to him, after five years he still uses it as his crutch, and people don’t like it. A woman, presumably his coach, yells at him for it. Tendou tries to argue that it’s helping them score points, but she disagrees. This doesn’t get Tendou down, though. The Guess Block is the only thing he takes pride in, and like hell anyone is going to take that away from him. As his coach yells at him, he smiles. To him, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with this block, and because of it, the coach gets frustrated, and ends practice early. The episode then cuts to a scene of Tendou walking up to a storage closet. Inside, there are two other boys, his teammates, talking behind his back. The first thing they say is a blatant attack at his looks and personality. In that moment, you can see Tendou’s mood just drop. Unlike the Guess Block, there’s absolutely nothing about his body or mind that he can take pride in. That deep crack in his heart from when he was a kid shatters just a bit more. Now it wasn’t just complete strangers, bullies who he was trying to fit in with. These were his teammates, people he was supposed to get along with, work with, play with. Now that his own teammates were calling him that same taunting name ‘Monster’, Tendou feels more betrayed than before. The teammates continue, saying things such as how he doesn’t cooperate, and how practice “always ends early when Tendou’s around.” This was a jab at his Guess Block. Although his views of it didn’t change, you can see that later on, he was starting to get a bit insecure over the thing he loves most.

When Tendou applies for the Shiratorizawa volleyball team, his nerves are evident. After the whole incident in middle school, he had began to grow a bit wary of the Guess Block, although he’s still very confident. If he wasn’t confident, he wouldn't’ have put a suit and tie on, marched down to Washijou’s office and requested to be put on the team, but he did. He did because he was confident. During the meeting with Washijou, Tendou looks sullen talking about his Guess Block. For a moment, he expects an immediate rejection, although, when he’s greeted with acceptance, he’s shocked. There was a look in his eyes that scared me. In that very moment, dressed in uncharacteristic clothes and sweaty palms, his nervous gut roiling and walls that felt like they were going to close in on him, he felt free. This has probably been the first time in Tendou’s life that he had been accepted by someone outside of his family. He was not only being accepted for his Guess Block, but him. He was being accepted for Tendou Satori, the nine year old boy who couldn’t play volleyball because he looked like a monster, the fourteen year old boy who was stabbed in the back by his own teammates. He was being accepted for him. Can you imagine the wave of happiness that rushed over him? He hadn’t quit, he never gave up on this sport. Tendou Satori loves volleyball, and now, after fifteen years of never playing it with pure happiness, he finally will. Acceptance into Shiratorizawa was a giant plaster over all the wounds in his heart.

You can presume that Tendou continues his next three years of high school with happiness, although it’s evident his scars have yet to heal. Tendou is a beautiful person, he really is, despite his pent up persona of being a sadist. He wants nothing more than the happiness of other people. You can see this when he butts into Shirabu and Goshiki’s argument. He knows Shirabu is a confident, he should be, so his time praising him is limited. Goshiki, however, is somebody Tendou can read. Tendou sees himself in him, and although it’s subliminal, it speaks a lot. Tendou is fast to compliment not only Goshiki’s game technique, but his hair. Now, Goshiki has the same haircut as Tendou when he was a child, so naturally, it would tie to some bad memories. I think Tendou never really wanted to style his hair differently. If it were up to him, he would’ve kept it the same, he would’ve kept everything the same, really, but he had to change. He forced himself to change because he wanted to force his way into being accepted. Tendou doesn’t want Goshiki to end up in the same pit as he did. Tendou is going to be there to be the acceptance that Tendou never received. Other people on the team gently tease Goshiki for being so enthusiastic, but never once does Tendou put him down. If you look into Goshiki’s character he shows very positive signs when he’s being complimented, once even going as far as stating that he loves to have a fuss being made over him. Tendou never had that, so can you imagine the happiness he must feel seeing Goshiki feel proud over words he says? On this team, Tendou does feel a lot of acceptance. Him and Ushijima are good friends, amazing friends, at that, and thst can imply that Ushijima was Tendou’s first real friend. Despite the positive atmosphere Tendou is in, there’s one thing that still spikes his insecurity, his nickname. Although “Guess Monster” may seem badass, it isn’t to him. It enraged his everytime he hears it, although it isn’t shown. Its taking his rock, the Guess Block, and pairing it up with the very demise of his existence. It’s bittersweet. He likes to be recognized for the move he’s spent years perfecting, but when it’s tied to the very bane of his existence, it automatically becomes a negative term. Something inside Tendou is still very attached to that malicious child nostalgia. He becomes kind of a perfectionist. Although his Guess Block is either 0% or 120%, he always wants it to be at 120%. He feels as if it isn’t always perfect, isn’t always scoring points, he’s useless, even if it is one point. He was accepted on this team to score points, and if he can’t do that, he might as well be the awkward, nine year old boy standing on the side of the court, holding back tears while being called a monster. There are scenes in which Tendou says things that are familiar to me. I’ve been in situations like this where I try to play off my mistakes as a joke so people can look beyond them. The whole cry of, “I screwed up!” and trying to change the topic away from the move he guessed wrong are things I’ve done to mask my failures. I could tell you exactly what he’s feeling, embarrassment. It’s a cold sweat over his skin, his stomach tightens up and he hopes nobody, especially not his coach was paying attention. He wants people to forget he’s flawed, forget he can do any wrong. This cold sweat will keep breaking out until he redeems himself, until he’s back up at 120% again, and all images of deprecation subside.

After the final match with Karasuno ends, Tendou is seemingly calm, but he’s not. Tendou is a tempest, and enigma, somebody who’s built up so many walls to shelter his real emotions. He doesn’t want to be seen as vulnerable as he was back then. But he knows damn well the moment he gets home, he’ll break down into pieces. When Tendou says ‘Goodbye my paradise” this refers to many things. Firstly, it refers to the sport of volleyball itself. While stretching with Ushijima, Tendou tells the latter that he won’t be continuing volleyball after high school, and is going to leave that to Ushijima. In all honesty, the comment seems light hearted. This could be seen from the perspective that Tendou just doesn’t want to continue, that he doesn’t think he’ll be good enough for college, but that’s not it. Tendou Satori loves volleyball more than Ushijima, more than Hinata, more than Oikawa or Kageyama or anybody. To Tendou, volleyball is his entire life. The reason why Tendou has decided to drop volleyball is because he doesn’t want to dwell in that deep dark pit again. Shiratorizawa was Tendou’s safe haven, and inarguably the best three years of his life. Tendou doesn’t want to go back to vying to play volleyball or trying to be accepted all over again. He knows he won’t be as lucky with other teams as he was with Shiratorizawa. Tendou knows the moment he tries to get on other team, they’ll cast him out. Of course, he might have a title, people would definitely take him in, seeing that he was from the infamous Shiratorizawa boys volleyball team, but acceptance necessarily doesn’t mean acceptance. It would be like middle school all over again. The arguments with the coach, the hate behind his back. Tendou wants to leave volleyball with the wonderful experience he’s had at Shiratorizawa, and not another team that despises his very being. He wants to love volleyball for what he had, not what he tried to have. Volleyball at Shiratorizawa was his paradise, it was the place where he had first made friends, where he first was praised, where he first was able to play however he wanted, be whoever he wanted. “Farewell, my paradise” just shatters my heart. He’ll be going back into the real world, where people don’t accept him like people did at his school. The vacation is over for him. He’s bracing himself for the usual torments, the comments, the hate. Tendou, more than anyone, more than his pissed off coach, and sobbing Goshiki, despises this loss. That drop of the ball on his side of the court was the soft meding plaster that covered his wounds being ripped off fast and hard without warning. It stung.

Tendou Satori is an incredible character. He’s broken, beaten, bruised inside out, but until the very end, Tendou powers through it. Tendou Satori loves volleyball. He loves it through his pain, he loves it through his betrayal and begins to love it even more as his glory days arrive. Tendou, despite his portrayal as a sadistic, cold blooded villain, is soft. He’s human, he has more scars than anyone, and tries to mend these scars all he can. He’s absolutely incredible. He has a sadder story than everyone, even Tsukishima, Yamaguchi and Kageyama. He’s more powerful than everyone, even Hinata, Oikawa and Ushijima. He’s kinder than everyone, even Sugawara, Asahi and Akaashi. Tendou Satori is dirt caked and broken, but with polish, he’s ethereal.

Player: Tyler Seguin – Dallas Stars



Mentions: Jamie Benn, Patrick Sharp, Antoine Roussel 

Warnings: A swear word maybe? I don’t remember.

Preview: The next day, no one waited for you outside the building. You took in a sigh of relief but somewhere deep down, you were disappointed. You continued your day as normal.

Characters: 1760 Words.

Originally posted by sonnnnygray

After the little run-in with Tyler, you were being bombarded from every angle. The text messages never seemed to come to a halt. You had even considered changing numbers.

And every morning like clockwork, Tyler or one of the boys were waiting for you in front of your office. You had thought about coming in earlier to ignore your morning pests, but you already didn’t get enough sleep.

You grabbed your bag from the car and started to make your way to the office. You tried to mentally guess who would be waiting for you today. You tried to blend in with the crowd on the busy sidewalk but your baby bump lent you no favors.

“Y/N!” You heard Antoine call out in a singsong voice. You groaned making your way to the side of the building where he and Jamie were waiting.

“Coffee?” Jamie asked pushing a coffee your way.

“Cant.” You quipped pushing it back.

He just nodded putting the coffee back down by his side.

“How are you feeling today, Cherie?” Antoine questioned putting a hand on your stomach. You quickly swatted his hand and gave him a look to dare him to try it again.

“I am fine, a little tired but that’s something I should get used to.” You noted.

“You would be less tired if you had help, from someone like I don’t know…. The baby’s father.” Jamie tried.

You sighed. “When am I ever going to get rid of you.” You turned towards the entrance to your building.

“At least tell us what you are having,” Antoine called after you.

“It’s a boy.” You headed inside the building leaving away from your routine frustration.

The next day, no one waited for you outside the building. You took in a sigh of relief but somewhere deep down, you were disappointed. You continued your day as normal.

You looked up from your place at your desk to the vibrations coming from your phone.

Katie: I saved you from the Dallas Idiots, meaning you owe me lunch.

You rolled your eyes as you typed out your response.

Y/N: When & Where?

The reply came quickly.

Katie: Meet at my place next Sunday? 11 o’clock?

You quirked your eyebrows expecting a restaurant during the week but you were glad she hadn’t already started to talk about Tyler.

Y/N: Sounds good. See you then.

You placed your phone back down and got back to work.

You should have been suspicious when no one showed up for the rest of the week.

You walked up to Katie’s front door and knocked. You hopped the maternity dress you had bought earlier in the week was dressy enough for the place Katie had planned.

You should have known better. You should have seen the surprise coming. When the door opened, there stood all the Dallas Stars WAGS you had become close with over the years.

“Surprise!” Katie cheered.

“What in the world is happening?” You questioned as she pulled you inside.

“It’s your baby shower. I know you haven’t had one, and every new mom needs one.”

“You didn’t have to do this you know.”

“I wanted to, plus Tyler asked me to”

“Tyler asked you to do this?” You couldn’t believe that a guy like Tyler had requested Katie to throw you a baby shower.

“The kid’s book theme was his idea, he said you had always loved kids’ books and that it was the one thing you were always excited to do with your own.” She nodded towards the pile of brand new kids’ books by the gifts table.

“He said that?” you questioned so softly you weren’t sure Katie heard.

“He did, we tried to make sure not to get any doubles, Tyler has a nursery filled with them.” She noted leading you further into the party.

“Nursery?” You couldn’t believe Tyler had a nursery. You hadn’t even thought about it.

To be honest you hadn’t even bought more than a few items. Here you were almost seven months pregnant and suddenly you couldn’t feel less prepared. You couldn’t hold the sob back. Katie snapped her head towards you.

“Y/N, are you crying?” She questioned quickly.

You tried to get some words out but you couldn’t find them, you settled for a nod. She led you to a back bedroom and she sits on the bed, motioning for you to follow.

You sit down and wipe the tears that had escaped from your eyelids.

“What’s going through your mind honey?” she asked rubbing your hands.

“I’m not even remotely do this Katie. I don’t even have a room in my apartment to put a nursery. I think I have one outfit? I don’t even know what a baby needs.”

“Y/N. You don’t have to do this alone. You have an entire hockey team wanting to stand behind you. I know you don’t know about Tyler as a boyfriend, but you should give him a chance to be a father. If I have to listen to one more newborn fact, I may never have children.”

You nod allowing a smile to play across your features. “You’re right. I don’t know where we stand as a couple, but I need to include him in this. Maybe he can teach me something.” You chuckled using the tissue she handed you to wipe your face.

“I will go talk to him when I leave here.” You stated standing up and composing yourself.

“You probably won’t have too, I told them not to crash this baby shower but we both know they all are.”

You both shared a laugh and joined the other girls in the main room. She placed the pretty blue flower crown on your head. “Let’s Celebrate Baby Mama.”

You had played a few games and you had caught up with some of the girls. That’s when Katie’s prediction had proved itself correct. In walked Tyler, Jamie, Antoine, and Patrick. They all dawned their best-shocked expressions.

“Oh, no was this today?” Jamie tried.

You watched Katie roll her eyes. “Don’t even try it.”

They all looked at her sheepishly, making their way inside. You offered them small smiles. Tyler kept his distance. He knew this party was meant for you and he didn’t want to ruin it.

You made small talk with the others and continued with the party.

“Let’s do gifts!” Katie exclaimed with a clap.

You nodded and followed her towards the couches and chairs. She sat you in the middle on the ottoman. You glanced towards the space left next to you.

“Tyler? Do you want to help?” you asked

You watched Tyler shockingly glance up from his place at the food table.

“Yeah… I would love to.” He made his way over to you and sat down next to you, giving you as much space as he could.

You looked at the huge pile of gifts that sat in front of you. You decided to dive in and you and Tyler began opening presents. Halfway through the pile, you became more comfortable and had slipped the flower crown onto Tyler. Tyler was opening a gift when the baby started kicking. You grabbed Tyler’s hand and placed it on your stomach. You couldn’t help it as your heart melted watching the expression of pride and joy grow on his face.

“There’s a baby in there…” he said softly.

“I’m quite aware you, he doesn’t let me forget it. Little power forward in there.” You giggled.

The baby continued to be active so opening gifts turned into a baby feeling session. Everyone crowded around you, taking turns feeling your belly ending the moment between you and Tyler. You sent him a sympathetic look as you watched him walk outside. You followed where he headed the moment you could escape. Everyone got the hint not to follow.

You found him sitting on the patio with his head in his hands.


His head snapped up and you could see the tear streaks and somehow it stung.

“I was just collecting myself out here.” He tried.

“It’s okay you can be honest with me, Tyler.” You sat down next to him.

“I haven’t been around for your whole pregnancy and that’s my fault. I screwed us up. I ruined everything. But feeling the baby in your belly, it just made everything so real. I put together a nursery, I have read every book I can find, and I think he has more clothes than me now but it didn’t set in till I just felt him. I am going to be a dad and I am begging you Y/N. I know you haven’t forgiven me and I want nothing more than to be with you but please at least let me help you with this. Let me be a part of this.” He had grabbed your hands and looked towards you expectantly.  

“I talked to Katie earlier and I realized I do need help. I need lots of help, and the only person I should be asking is you. I don’t know if we will ever be a couple again but no matter what we are going to be parents.”

“I will prove it to you every single day, I promise you. And if somewhere along the lines you forgive me, I’ll prove that too.”

You once again allow yourself to smile. “Don’t push it, Seguin. Now please tell me you have pictures of that nursery.”  

He stumbled to pull out his phone. “I actually was going to send them to you but I didn’t want to scare you off.”

“But you and the rest of your team waiting outside my job didn’t do that?”

“Yeah, that was a little much.” He handed you the phone and the pictures took your breath away. The nursery was a gorgeous mixture of Green and yellow hues. Hockey hints here and there but still looked modern.

“You did really good Ty.” You quip, handing him back his phone.

“I hoped you would like it.”

“Well maybe once the baby comes, we can come and stay with you. I think that would be a much better fit then sharing a room with me.”

Tyler’s smile grew bigger. “I would love that.”

“Just until I… We figure something out”

“Yeah. Of course. Till we figure something out. He stated with a smirk putting the flower crown back upon his head and walked

13 Reasons Why this show makes me slightlyyyy salty

1) Why does it take Clay this long to listen to the tapes? TV Show Clay is a wimp and Book Clay is a masterpiece. I’m QUITE salty
2) Realistically, Clay would not be out on his VendettaTM because he would be too preoccupied with figuring out what HE did to Hannah. He doesn’t throw the rock at Tyler’s house and this is an important aspect of his character 3) All these people are too cool to talk to him and in the books they mostly ignored him. And honestly why tf did they have to steal his bike? That was such an empty subplot.
4) All these fucking tattoos
5) Okay I’m very happy with the diversity but? two straight white protagonists? I get they want to stay relevant to the books but not much was relevant to the books so why not screw that??
6) Tony’s trophy boyf is without backstory. Although I am secretly proud of this because he and Clay are absolutely shippable, you can’t just throw in a character to make him gay, that’s pointless? You can be gay without a boyfriend??
7) THANK YOU GOD FOR NOT ERASING THE CUTS ON HIS FACE but they’re weirdly black and perfect and it’s unsettling
8) Sheri instead of Jenny? Tf?
9) Okay but real talk: the show drags on for far too long. Tortoise-Clay beside the point, some of the scenes were over-explained. You may not agree, but it’s your stereotypical high school drama where everything takes far too long to resolve
10) There were not enough naturally blonde people
11) Did you notice how many people were wearing the same sort of lip product? because I don’t think I’m imagining it? Tony especially has this subtle dark pink-purple lip going on (and it’s H.O.T.) but it’s also weird how everyone is going for the same shade. Except for Skye since she is TarotPunkTM. AnywAaaay it’s too coordinated
12) You don’t just end a series with the protagonist and his besties driving off into the distance unless you a) are the producer of Supernatural or b) add a scene where Tony gazes lovingly at Clay and Clay is oblivious
13) I still don’t know Alex’s fate and he is my cinnamon roll and I’m crying (plus Tyler is acting weird af and I think he’s a serial killer)

edit: I clearly like the book version better but it is a good show. & I’m being petty, I realize, y'all chill :)
Reactions and asks

I had lots of messages stored so let me go through this real quick~

I love that the reactions focus on Sans being a jerk, and then just… Grillby.

Sans is always 7/10 screwed all the time. He’s a jerk almost all the time and Papyrus, [and other people] don’t like that.

Sadly I am not referencing that great AU. No, Grillby is just honestly pleased that he has, for once, a polite customer. Sans is gross most of the time, so this is appreciated.

This Sans prefers mustard! He appreciates ketchup too, but mustard is the main beverage for him.

Indeed they didn’t know! Sans kept calling Papyrus “boss” all the time, and they’re pretty different, both physically and personality-wise, so Frisk didn’t even imagine they were related! Just because they’re skeletons, it doesn’t mean they’re family!

I WOULD show you this… if Frisk did it whatsoever. But Frisk wouldn’t just annoy Papyrus like that. Maybe on a neutral run…

First step: Awesome and good-looking. Then, bones and lots of sparkles. Amazingness and the root square of spike. Add some spicy edge and then throw a whole cinnamon roll in the recipe. Then serve it in a royal guard lieutenant plate. And spice it with yelling! There’s never enough yelling.

Awww, cutest ask QuQ You’re a cinnamon roll!! <3333 Asks like these make me so happy <33333 You make me feel determined!!

When I'm gone. Harry styles imagine

He smacked his hand on table “shut the hell up for a moment” immediately I close my mouth. Not because I’m scared of him, it’s because I never saw him like this. I can’t even remember how the fight started but it soon turned into a Tsunami.
“It’s just a fucking book y/n. I can buy you thousands of those and you still act like this over a fucking stupid book. That shit wasn’t the most precious thing” he said and that was enough to break my heart.
The book he’s talking about is the most precious thing in world for me and I thought he felt the same as well.
Tears fall down of my face. The first month we saw each other I was so into the book, After I finished it we decided to talk our cheesy conversation over book by marking the words. So the book includes our thoughts and emotions and he just gave the book to one of his friends that she lost it as well.

“But it was important to me” I whispered “I told you I’ll buy thousands of them. Just stop it right here. I know you’re just jealous. So stop this childish behavior because I’m fucking tired of you and your stupid behavior” he shout as he waltz over the mess he made.
After two years dating I thought I meant something for him but I’m so stupid.

“So you’re tired? Yeah?” I get into room as he was hot on my heels “the hell I am ” he said start unbuttoning his shirt. I pull out a suitcase , decided it’s not my place anymore. He look at the suitcase and my clothes “it’s the exactly what I’m talking about ” he laying on bed “maybe it’s for better” he mumbled before closing his eyes.
I don’t know how harry turned into this heartless man he is right now but it happened and before I know I was in airplane going back to my parents house back in America. My heart is in million pieces and I know it never gonna heal.

Harry’s POV

she left and I was so scared to even stop her. I was under so much pressure because of media and my new album and the idea of engaging to y/n was over my head. I was so scared to decide so soon and without thinking, I was scared of everything and everyone and there was thousands “what if’ in my mind, what if the love is temporary? What if she finds out she can do better? Times pass and things changes so people so what if we change?
I was so scared that I didn’t even notice how I pushed the love of my life away until she’s mikes away from me.
"Earth to harry” Mitch waves his hand in front of me, I look around “sorry, I was, I was in …. let’s start again” I start playing guitar but Mitch didn’t budge.
“I think you should call her” he said “what?” He shakes his head “before it’s too late, you need to win her back, if you still have feelings for her”
Of course I do have. She’s still the biggest part of me and now thousands miles away. How can I survive without my soul?
What if she never forgive me because I hurt her so bad that I can’t even forgive me.
“I need to go” I stand up and unlock my phone, it’s now or never “hello Paul, book me a flight to France, as soon as possible”

“Ok stop it now” my mom came into room with this sentence “stop what mom?” I start reading again not really care what she want to say “stop being like this, stop being depressed” I sighs , I’m not as outgoing as I was but it doesn’t mean I’m depressed, I’m just not in the mood “I’m not depressed mom” she shakes her head “look y/n, your my only daughter and I’ll do anything for you, even if it means I kick you out so you can take a breath, if you know what I mean” I nod at her “I know mom”
She close the door behind her and I close my book as well. Without harry is so tough , without him everything is pointless, even sunrise!
I’m so broken , mostly because I can’t hate him.
Bell rings and I heard mom opened the door downstairs, minutes later she was in my room “this is for you” she gave me a packet. I look at it but there was no name on the packet “from who?” I ask but she was no where to be found.
I opened the packet and there was a book, not every book, it was our book, mine and Harry’s. and a tiny pink paper was in between pages

‘I know I screwed up, but give me a chance. If yes then open your window. H’
“What?” I put the book down and stand up from the bed walking to my window while my heart was beating so fast. Is this real? Am I sleep?
There was standing harry with a guitar in his hands “I know here isn’t Spain but we’re pretty close so” he looked in my eyes as his lips start moving while his hands play the guitar
“I can’t go on and
Let you lose it all
More than I take
Who will ease your pain?
And who is gonna save
You when I’m gone?
And who watch over you?”
He sings and I cried “y/n I know I was a dick” he starts “you were” I cleared my tears but it’s pointless “I know I am a joke but I want you to be the one to forgive me and I want to be the one to forgive you because I can’t promise you I’m not gonna act crazy because I’m madly in love that I’m losing my mind” he said
“So will you forgive me my amor?”
I nod how can I not “I forgive you harry”

Hope you enjoyed, this was one of the old requests I had, I’m sorry if it’s too late to post it but I hope whoever that request it still want it. All the love. Della

This Valentine’s Day I’d like to share a few things with you. I’m 19 years old and:

I have never had sex in my life
I have never dated anyone in real life (so not on the Internet)
I have never kissed anyone
I have never been on a date
I have never even held hands with someone romantically
I literally have never even been close to dating anyone in real life

Not because I don’t want to or because I’m picky. Because no one has ever asked me out or showed affection for me or even flirted with me. I don’t think anyone irl has ever fancied me, or if they did they never let me know in any way.

And you know what? I don’t care. I moved on from feeling abnormal and broken and not whole. I refuse to connect my value as a person to those things. I will not allow myself to think of myself as less because I have never done any of those things. Yes maybe my self-esteem still relies on my uni grades or good reviews of my works but I finally stopped thinking that there is something wrong with me for not experiencing those things.

I feel happy and whole anyway. I survived every crush who didn’t return my feelings and every instance of being attracted to someone and knowing they do not like me back. I survived and moved on.

And today I’d like you to turn to things you really value in your life. Your jobs and talents and hobbies and passions. Your family and friends and pets and even house plants. Your favorite books and bands and TV-shows and video games. Your favorite ice-cream and favorite pair of jeans and favorite plush toys.

There are so many people and things you love. There are, I hope, things that make you happy. Focus on them. And screw the society that tells you that you need relationships to know that you are loved. You are already loved. Don’t let society ever persuade you otherwise.

Filled with rage towards God

Anonymous Struggling Christian asked: Hey Glen, I’m in a bad mental space about God. I don’t go to church or my bible study anymore. Reason being, I’m filled with rage every time I think about Him. I’m gay but I’m not supposed to be. God does nothing, and I hate Him for it. He’s more absent than my real dad. I’m stuck in this place and I’m not sure how to move on. I’m considering walking away from my faith completely. A new perspective would be appreciated.

Unka Glen answered: Okay, let’s make a few things clear from the start…

  1. I don’t blame you for being filled with rage
  2. Neither does God
  3. It’s time you got an apology from Christians, so let me say be the one to say it: I’m deeply sorry for the way Christians have treated you

God takes me as I am, despite how messed up I am, and He takes you too. Screw everybody else. They don’t get it, they ain’t in on this, and they don’t get a say-so.

Christians owe you (and, frankly, the rest of us) an apology for giving us the almost laughable idea that if Jesus sat down at our kitchen table to discuss our life with us, the first thing, or perhaps the only thing He’d want to talk about is our sex life.

In your case, He’d want to talk with you about your dad being absent from your life. This has impacted nearly every aspect of your life, and it would be cruel for God to judge you for any of the problems and struggles that are related to your dad not being around. Even if those struggles include feeling angry at God.

God accepts you. Right now. As you are. He has plans for you, and a calling, and a purpose, and if you follow Him, it will be an amazing journey through all kinds of twists and turns.

Your sexuality, like everyone else’s, will eventually come up in the conversation, and at that time God will strengthen you to make changes to that sex life, so that it can become more fulfilling and enjoyable.

But here’s a fact that Christians don’t want you to hear: even if you make none of those changes, even if you run away from God, He will still love you. And if you make all these changes He will not love you more. He can’t love you more. You are loved to the uttermost, and your behavior does not have the power to change that.

And I love you. Right now. As you are. There are plenty of other Christians who feel the same way. It may take some looking to find them, and that looking may involve some heartbreak, but that’s what finding quality relationships is all about.


Ahhh, Sunday!  Earlier this week the husband asked me what we had going on this weekend, and as I started listing the things off for Saturday, he said, “I hope you’re going to say we’re doing nothing on Sunday because I am socialized out.”  I had been considering having some friends over to swim/grill, but I am SO glad that the husband requested a quiet day because I need it, too.  We’re not really big planners or very social people…but somehow it seems our entire summer calendar is getting packed with activities and it’s making time feel like it’s passing all that much faster because we barely have a second to catch our breath.  So thankful that the most exciting thing on my to-do list today is grocery shopping and sitting down with a (hopefully) good book.  I picked this one up at my work’s community book swap yesterday. :) Conner is having friends over, but fortunately teenagers are fully capable of entertaining themselves–as long as there’s a pool, snacks, and drinks, they’re happy. I’d been averaging 10-12 books a month until things got crazy in May, and I need to up my reading game if I’m going to make it to my 100 books goal by the end of the year! :D

Despite working a “real” work week again this week–dammit I miss part-time life–I am going to have a 100% success week for this evening’s Sunday Progress Update (unless I royally screw it up today…).  I even went to a dance class this week for the first time in a while and although it wasn’t quite as fun since I had to constantly focus on foot placement because I hurt my right foot, it was still so nice to dance again!

Fingers crossed that next week will be a far calmer work week–and at the very least I’ll enjoy Monday because I took the day off! ;)  

I have a story! It came up recently on a Facebook group I’m part of and I realized I’m pretty sure I have never shared this story on Tumblr. Here is the story. I work at a pet store that only sells male rodents. This is to prevent any hanky-panky from happening. The store where I go to visit Chinese hamsters keeps all the siblings together, male and female, which seems like bad news if you decide to go in there and get a female hamster, so I’m pretty happy with our system. Since there’s no hanky-panky allowed we get our animals from an outside breeder and the outside breeder sexes them before sending them and in the almost 4 years I’ve been there, we’ve never had an oops female mixed in.

EXCEPT for this one time when a female Russian dwarf hamster slipped in and nobody noticed. Here is protocol for receiving new hamsters: They come in batches of 6. We split them into two groups of 3. They live in a bin cage in the back room for several days to reduce stress and so we can monitor for signs of illness (at which point they would be isolated and taken to a vet). And if after this little quarantine they’re all clear, they can be moved to the sales floor, UNLESS there is no room out there, which was the case with this hamster and the 2 friends we isolated her with. They were back there for 3 weeks, which incidentally is exactly how long it takes a litter of baby dwarf hamsters to gestate.

Things you generally expect you might find upon realizing you have a female hamster who’s given birth in a bin cage with TWO (2) males present:

  • Mom has attacked/killed the encroaching males
  • One or both males has attacked/killed the babies
  • Everyone has attacked each other
  • Everything is bad

Here is what my coworker found when she opened their bin cage that morning:

  • Two extremely proud daddies
  • One ferocious mama in a fluffy nest
  • 9 healthy, eeping jellybeans

Nobody could account for the bloodlessness of the scene. Everyone was hale and happy and Mom was ready to kill all the world to protect the jellybeans, EXCEPT for her two husbands.

I mean of course we unfortunately had to split the little family up because of the tenuousness of having 9 jellybeans in a bin cage with two male hamsters. We removed them both. The jellybeans became furry beans remarkably quickly. They looked like this (not my pic):

“This is great!” we said. “We can start taming them as soon as it’s safe. We’ll have the nicest Russian hamsters ever!” Not so. Like Mom, as well as being plain as dirt, all the babies were ferocious monsters. As soon as their eyes were open and they could coordinate their limbs to a passable extent, they were chasing our hands around with their tiny needle teeth.

At 21 days when they were fully weaned, we sexed all our babies (and triple-checked) and separated them and were glad we would no longer have a flock of 10 tiny landsharks descending on our hands every time we reached in to remove their food dish. Phew! Remember how long the dwarf hamster gestation period is? We came in the following morning to 9. more. jellybeans. That was how we learned that (unlike Syrian hamsters) dwarf hamsters can mate immediately after giving birth. The mind boggles - did the two males form a polite line? We didn’t think too much about it, though, given we had 9 tiny monsters to adopt out to the unwitting public, and another 9 soon to follow. They all found nice homes and so did Mom, never to have to produce babies ever again, and that was the end of the hamster baby saga.

A little while ago, I was doing some reading on wild Campbell’s hamsters, and what I learned made me think of that incident:

  • In the wild (not recommended in captivity), unlike other hamster species, the male is present for the birth of his babies
  • He takes an ACTIVE ROLE in the birth and helps to clean the babies and even pull them from the birth canal if Mom runs into trouble
  • He makes sure Mom has enough food and when it’s over, he guards the nest.

I am pretty sure that’s what happened with this tiny polygamous family. I assume the dads weren’t sure who was Real Dad and so they made a team effort to help out and that makes them better than most human dads I know. Anyway, that’s your story of irresponsible pet store breeding! I just thought everyone could appreciate the visual of a dwarf hamster giving birth with two dad hamsters cheering her on. These days I personally check all the rodents when they arrive so it doesn’t happen again, but as far as I know that was our breeder’s one and only screw-up. So, thank goodness it happened to Campbell’s hamsters!

It’s 2 o’clock In the Morning.

About an hour ago ,I opened a bottle of Snapple and read the fact on the lid. Apparently, the moon is 81 billion tons. I told my mom and she claimed it was pure supposition because there is no way to weigh the moon. This lead me into explaining the mathematical process they probably used to make a guesstimate, which ended up with us discussing gravity.

  • Is the moon actually several times heavier than it is, since there is such low gravity in space?
  • Would a jackhammer work at the same speed on the moon?
  • Would a Bubblehead Charm work in space?

I then proceeded to wonder about the space suits because I would like to go to space but not have to wear the stupid suit. Which then prompted the question:

  • How do they deal with their waste?

This prompted my mom into searching because ‘if you never ask, you’ll never search, and you’ll never learn’. I proposed the idea of catheters because it takes a long time to get the suits on and the lack of gravity kind of slows everything down.

We found out:

  1. Astronauts in the 60s(who were all men) wore bags with straps on their asses and condom like pouches over their dicks to deal with their waste.
  2. Nowadays, they wear adult diapers and are expected to deal with it for hours at a time.
  3. It can take more than 45 minutes to put a space suit on properly.
  4. They routinely dump their waste into space.(Which got mom thinking about Superman getting hit in the face with it at some point, and aliens wanting to destroy us because some dude’s shit from the 60s managed to travel light-years and slapped someone in the face.)

So yeah, weird and gross imagery.

A few moments later, I opened another bottle of Snapple and found out that president James Madison had a pet parrot that ended up outliving him. Mom then goes, ‘who got the parrot when he croaked?’. An interesting question, I will admit. No answer was forthcoming.

I simply shrugged and said something about what if there was a parrot in the White House now. She starts cackling and says, ‘What if the Russians think they’ve got a spy or something, and it’s just a fucking parrot?!’

I proceeded to mimic parrot noises and said, ‘They probably don’t know everything about American accents, so when the parrot makes that weird noise at the beginning and end of every sentence, they probably assume it’s some odd dialect or accent.’

This spiraled out of control it uproarious laughter and me mentioning a, ‘big red button, AUK!’.

I then tell her that some parrots are good dancers, to which she replies, ‘I would prefer a parrot as a president. At least its coiffure would be real!’

And basically, this has been one hell of a night and it’s only 2:20 AM.


Originally posted by under-the-moonlight-sky

Originally posted by out-in-the-open

“C'mon, Dean.” I shoved my laptop back to his side of the table urging him to look at it. “Three people have suddenly gone missing in the last two weeks all from the same part of town.”

Dean gave me an annoyed look, “Y/n, will you stop. We aren’t going. You’re just getting over the flu, you still need rest. Some other hunter will get it.” He stood to get another cup of coffee.

“I’m fine, Dean. I can handle this.”

Dean looked to Sam for help who was sitting at the end of the table with his nose in a book.

Feeling Dean’s eyes on him he looked up and shrugged, “We’ve hunted for less. Besides, a little fresh air could do her good.”

I smiled at Sam thankful that it was two against one.

Dean looked back at me and I gave him my best puppy dog eyes. “You’re a persistent pain in my ass, you know that?”

“Is that a yes?” Excitement grew inside me.

Dean ran his hand down his face “Yes. We’ll leave in the morning…”

“Yes!” I pumped my fist in the air.

“But if you so much as look pale, I’m putting Garth on it.” He pointed his finger at me.

I nodded and darted off to my room to pack for tomorrow.

We got up early and left. The day was filled with sitting in the car listening to rock music and Sam complaining to turn it down. We finally got to the motel around 9 pm. Sam instantly dived into his laptop and Dean collapsed on one of the beds. I stole the keys to the impala and said I was going to get food and hurried out the door before Dean could protest.

My phone rang after a little bit and I answered to a very tired sounding Dean.

“Don’t forget the pie.”

“Don’t worry, Dean. I won’t forget the pie.” I rolled my eyes.

“That’s what Sam always says.” I could just imagine the look he’d be shooting Sam as he said that.

“Yeah, well, I’m not Sam. Besides I want pie too. So there’s no way I’ll forget it.”

“That’s my girl.” He said before he hung up.

I shook my head and tossed my phone back on the impala’s seat and focused on the road ahead.  It was a dark country back road. No street lights, not many houses, most of which are abandoned, and no other cars.

The lack of light is probably the only reason I noticed the soft blue hue that suddenly emanated from the window of one of the long empty farm houses. My curiosity took over, I just had to check it out. I knew I should just keep driving, get the food, and go back to the motel, but the urge to know what made that light was just too strong.

I pulled over across the street from the house, turned off the engine and went to the trunk to retrieve my pistol just in case. And then I started my walk down the long driveway. I entered the house cautiously, ready to shoot any threat that came my way.

The entry way seemed safe enough so I continued down the hall into the kitchen. The house was quiet, the only sound was of me breathing, which is why the floor creaking under my foot startled me a little. I cursed myself for making noise and then continued to the small hallway where I had two opinions, go down stairs to the basement or turn left where it looked like the bedrooms were.

I decided left was a better option, I’d go down once the upstairs was clear. I was about to turn when I heard the same creak of the floorboards. I swung around aiming my gun at a boy in his teens covered in tribal tattoos. My eyes grew wide when the said tattoos and his eyes started to glow blue.

Definitely a monster. I just didn’t know what monster he was. But you know, shoot first ask questions later.

Unfortunately this monster wasn’t really phased by silver. He lunged towards me, attempting to grab my arm. I dodged, but hands from behind me grabbed hold of my arms and pulled them behind my back.

There’s two. I am so screwed… If these monsters don’t kill me, my brothers certainly will…

The boy reached out and placed his hand on my forehead.

I woke up slumped at a desk I hadn’t sat at in years. It was cluttered with papers and books all relating to lore. I shot up in the chair and looked around. It was my old room at Bobby’s house. But that house had burned down.

“No way… This can’t be real.” I mumbled to myself.

“Y/n?!” Bobby’s voice traveled into the room.

I spun around and rushed to the door but tripped over my boots which were carelessly tossed on the floor just like they always used to be. I smacked face first into the door frame as Bobby appeared in the doorway.

“It’s real.. It’s real.” l mumbled, holding my hands against my forehead.

“What’s real?” Bobby asked me.

I stared at Bobby in disbelief. “But you’re supposed to be dead…”

“Did you fall asleep reading again?”

I looked back at the cluttered desk. Did I?

Bobby only shook his head, not waiting for my answer. “C'mon, it’s time to eat.”

I followed Bobby down the stairs and into the kitchen. He handed me a bowl of the stew that he had made and we sat down. We ate quietly for a moment. I had no clue what was happening. I looked at Bobby. I had always gone to him when I couldn’t figure something out, maybe I should try that now.


“Yeah?” He answered without looking up at me.

“Uh, is there a monster than can change reality?”

“What do you mean?”

“Is there some type of creature that can make the world as we know it change?”

“I’ve never heard of anything like that. Why are you asking?”

“Oh, you know, random thoughts.” I said disappointed he had no information for me. Maybe Sam or Dean would be more helpful. “So, where are Sam and Dean?”

“Who?” He gave me a weird look.

“Sam and Dean. You know really tall, always getting into trouble.” He stared at me blankly so I continued. “Winchester.” I said, growing confused myself.

“Relatives you haven’t told me about?” He guessed, genuinely not knowing who I was talking about.

I thought for a minute. If this world was different from mine in the way that Bobby and the house are still here then maybe it changed in more ways than just that. Maybe my father had never met Bobby. Maybe he had never gone into hunting at all and the boys had normal lives.

Something occurred to me. “Is there a creature that can make wishes come true?”

“What? Like a genie?” Bobby chuckled.

“Well, yeah I guess. Are they real?”

“No, they’re not real.” Bobby acted like I should’ve known that fact. “Is something going on that I don’t know about?”

“No, nothing. I was just wondering.” I focused on my food hoping he wouldn’t see through my lie.

Bobby only shrugged and went back to his dinner. I didn’t say anything for the rest of night.

After eating I went back to my room hoping that when I woke up the next morning Bobby would still be there.

The next morning after I made sure everything was the same as last night, I packed a bag. I had to know what had become of the boys, what their lives are like in this world, if they were safe…

I ran down the stairs, eager to start the drive to Lawrence but Bobby’s voice made me stop in my tracks.

“And where do you think you’re going?”

I turned from the door and saw him standing there with his arms crossed over his chest and a stern look on his face, just like all the times he’d caught me sneaking out when I was younger.

“There’s a case in Lawrence, Kansas. Just a simple salt and burn. I’ll be back in a few days.” It wasn’t a complete lie. I was going to Lawrence and I would most likely be back in a few days.

“So you were just going to leave and have me wondering where you were?” He raised his eyebrows at me.

A smile spread across my face. “Aw, Bobby, would you be worried about me?” I joked.

“No, you idjit. I just want to know what to tell someone if they come by.”

I laughed. “Like who?”

“Like Cas.”

“So he does know about me..” I mumbled.


“Nothing. I’ll see you in a few days.” And with that I shot out the door and jumped into my truck before Bobby could stop me.

About an hour into the drive I started to doubt if my brothers were even in Lawrence. I should have looked into it before rushing out but I wasn’t thinking. If they weren’t in Lawrence I could always go to Lebanon to see the bunker.

“Hello, Y/n.” Cas appeared next to me.

I swerved a little. “Dammit, Cas! How many times have I told you not to pop in while I’m driving?”

“Fifteen.” He said simply.


“You’ve told me-”

“Nevermind.” I cut him off. “What are you doing here?”

“Bobby was worried. You know he doesn’t like you going on cases alone.”

“Does he always send you to check up on me?”

Cas looked at me confused. “Yes.”

“So does this mean you’ll be coming with me?” I asked.

“That is what Bobby asked of me.”

I sighed. Great. How am I going to pull this one off…

“You don’t seem very happy about that. Usually you enjoy my company on hunts, do you not?”

“Of course I enjoy your company, Cas. It’s just this case… It’s well, more personal.” Cas gave me a confused look so I continued. “It’s not a salt and burn like I told Bobby. In fact I don’t think there’s anything supernatural going on in Lawrence.”

“Then why are you going?”

“There’s some people I have to see. My brothers.”

“I didn’t know you had siblings.”

“I didn’t either for a while. My dad, he had two boys before me. If his wife hadn’t died I probably wouldn’t be here. I just have to know who they are. I can’t really explain it, I just have to know.”

“And Bobby doesn’t know.”

“No. And I don’t want him to. At least not yet.”

“Then I will not tell him. But I am coming with you.”

I smiled a little. “Thanks, Cas.”

We got to Lawrence around midnight and the first thing I did was check into the nearest motel. Despite Cas saying that I should get some sleep, I started looking for anything I could find on the Winchester boys. I found out that Sammy had graduated top of his class, which wasn’t at all surprising. He’d gone on to law school, but this time I bet John was proud and didn’t tell him to never come back. And now he was a lawyer in Lawrence. I discovered that Dean dropped out of highschool and had gone to work with John as a mechanic, no surprise there either. So coming here wasn’t a total waste after all.

I leaned back in my chair with a satisfied smile on my face. Cas was giving me a weird look but I paid him no mind as I went over to one of the beds to get a few hours of shut eye before tomorrow morning.

The next morning I jumped out of bed excited to get a move on. I couldn’t wait to see the boys. I wanted to see just how happy they were. I hadn’t seen them truly happy since before Bobby died. I quickly got ready and called to Cas to hurry up as I ran out the door.

The mechanic shop was closer so that was my first stop. I parked across the street where we hopefully wouldn’t be as noticeable. I spotted the impala right off the bat. She hadn’t changed a bit on the outside but I bet the trunk was completely different.

“What are we doing here?” Cas asked.

“This is where my oldest brother, Dean, works.” I explained.

My eyes were glued to the front of the shop. I was so focused on seeing Dean that it never occurred to me that my dad might be here and I was surprised when I saw him walk up to the shop. He looked just as surprised when he saw me.

I started the truck. “Time to go, Cas.”

“What? Why?”

I drove away from the shop a quickly as I could. “That was my father and I really don’t feel like talking to him at the moment.”

“You seem angry with him.” Cas observed.

“That’s because I am.”

Cas didn’t push the issue but I could tell he wanted to.

I drove straight back to the motel no longer in the mood to sit outside of Sam’s work for a glimpse of him.

I sat down at the table in the motel room and ran my hands down my face.

“Are you ok, Y/n?” Cas sounded concerned.

“What was I thinking?” I said more to myself then to Cas. “It’s not like they know who I am. What would I have even said to them anyway? ‘Hey, I’m Y/n, your long lost sister. I kinda just stalked you on the internet so I could find out what your life is like.’ Yeah, that would’ve gone over well.”

Cas just stared at me.

“What do you say we go to Lebanon tomorrow?” I asked eager to change the subject.

“Whatever you want.”

I spent the rest of the day looking for actual cases to chase after but had no such luck.

The next day Cas and me went to a dinner so I could get something to eat before we headed out to Lebanon. Cas of course didn’t order anything being an angel and all.

“Y/n.” I heard a deep and stern voice say behind me making me cringe.

I tried to control my anger and turned in my seat to look at him. “Hello, John.”

He sat down in the chair next to me. “What are you doing here? Where’s your mother?”

“Dead. But it’s not like you cared enough to know about that.” I scoffed.

He seemed taken aback by my answer. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

I threw some cash on the table and looked at Cas. “C'mon, Cas, let’s get out of here.” I stood and started to walk out but John caught up to me.

“Wait, Y/n.” He grabbed my arm as I walked out the door. “Tell me what happened.”

Cas stiffened but he didn’t move. He knew I wanted to handle this myself.

We got out of the way of the doors. “I don’t really know what happened.” I said without looking at him. “She was torn apart. I don’t know what did it.”

He looked sad, which surprised me but it wasn’t gonna make me let him off easy. “When?”

“I was ten.”

He looked shocked. “Who have you been living with?”

“A friend of mom’s.” I said simply.

“Back to my earlier question. What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to see who my brothers were. Oh, thanks by the way for telling me I had them.” I started to walk away again.

“Y/n. Hear me out. I didn’t want them to know about what your mom was into.”

I turned back, surprised. “You know about that?”

“The boys. They deserve their innocence.”

“That I agree with.” I started to leave again.

“Why do you hate me?” John pulled me back.

“That’s what happens when you abandon a child. They grow up hating you.” I said without missing a beat.

I drove Cas back to the motel. “I’m gonna go on a walk, Cas. Alone.” He nodded knowing it was no use to argue with me, especially with the mood I was in and I left.

I had no destination in mind. I just wanted to get fresh air and clear my head. I hadn’t seen my father since my mom died and he dropped me off at Bobby’s. That was another world but I still couldn’t forgive him for my mom’s death or abandoning me.

Tears started to run down my face as the memories of losing my mom rushed through my head. The worry I felt when she didn’t come back to the motel after a week. The fear I felt when I opened the door to my father. He told me what happened but nothing more. And then I was at Bobby’s. Bobby was the one who tried to comfort me the best he could. He was the one to take care of me and raised me. The one to deal with me through my moody teen years and the one to help me through broken hearts and homework and the one who taught me to hunt. He was the one who acted like a father should.

Someone bumped into me. “Oh I’m sorry ma'am. I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

That voice. I know that voice. I looked up to the face of my big brother.

“Hey, are you ok?” Sam asked.

I shook my head and dried my eyes. “I’ll be fine.”

“Why don’t we go get a cup of coffee and we can talk about it ok?” Sam offered.

“No. It’s fine. You probably don’t want to hear the problems of a stranger anyways.”

“C'mon. It’s on me.” He insisted.

The look in his eyes told me I wasn’t going to get out of this one so I nodded and let him lead me to a nearby coffee shop.

“So, what was the cause of all those tears?” He asked as we sat down at a table after ordering.

“I ran into my father that I haven’t seen in years.”

“That bad, huh?”

“You could say that. He ditched me and my mom when I was really young. I was kind of an accident and I think he’s ashamed that he ever got with my mom after his wife died. I probably just remind him of the mistake he made.”

“Your dad sounds like a jerk if he thinks of you like that.”

“Yeah he kinda is. He didn’t even know that my mom died and that I was raised by her friend. I don’t know why I even care. Bobby was more of a father to me than my actual dad ever was. Bobby always tells me that family doesn’t end in blood but…”

“It still hurts though. Being rejected by your family.” He finished for me.


“Well,” He paused not knowing my name.


“Well, Y/n, I can tell you you’re not alone in having a father who rejects you. My father resents me for not going into the family business and becoming a lawyer instead.”

My heart fell when he said that. I was hoping their relationship was different now. “Most parents would be thrilled about their kid becoming a lawyer. What did your dad want you to do?” I said even though I knew the answer already.

“He wanted me to be a mechanic.”

“Really?” I said with fake disbelief.

“Yeah. He was just mad that I don’t follow orders like my brother.”

I laughed at that. “Sounds like we both have daddy issues.”

A comfortable silence loomed over us as we drank our coffee just enjoying each others company. 

“So did your brother became a mechanic?” I asked in an attempt to strike the conversation back up.

“Yep. He usually does what dad tells him. Always trying to please him.”

“Did he want to though? Become a mechanic I mean.”

Sam shrugged, “Dean’s always liked cars.” He took a drink of his coffee then held his hand out to me. “I’m sorry, I haven’t even told you my name. Sam Winchester, it’s nice to meet you.”

I laughed and shook his hand. “Nice to meet you too, Sam.”

When it came time to leave neither of us really wanted to go. I liked doing something normal with my brother, no talk of the supernatural or anything like that. The only problem being he thought I was some random girl he happened to bump into on the street.

“So, do you live around here, Y/n?” Sam asked.

I shook my head. “I’m just passing through.”

“Where you headed?”

“I don’t know yet. I just go wherever the wind takes me.”  

He smiled. “Well, I would love to talk to you again before you leave. You’re an interesting person and I feel like you’re someone I can be friends with.”

“Oh really?” I smiled back up at him. I pulled a pen out of my pocket and grabbed his hand, scribbling my number across acrossed his palm. “Well in that case, here’s my number. I’ll probably be here for a few more days and we can set something up.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Sam agreed.

“Your mood has improved.” Cas stated as I walked into our motel room.

“I had a very good walk.”  I told him with a smile.

“When should we leave for Lebanon?” He asked.

“Lebanon can wait a few more days.”


Positivity Post

1. I was hoping to finish writing the next chapter of Sweet Little Lies tonight but I am genuinely exhausted. I did write a good 1500 words today though!

2. On the plus side, my friend Ben from Cambodia cane to visit me. I haven’t seen him in years - so it was really exiting to catch up! (He did fire breathing at my wedding 10 years ago - the guy is amazing!)

3. I got banoffee pie today from a friend at work. I’m supposed to be dieting. But screw dieting when banoffee pie is on the table! I will kill for that shit! ;)

4. I love my friends. Fandom friends, online friends, real life friends, work friends. This week was an eye opener for how lucky I am to have so many special people in my life! I love you guys!

ed1505  asked:

Kara rescuin an orphan alien baby during a mission with the DEO and deciding to take care of her/him. Alex helping her with the baby and falling in love with him/her and even more in love with Kara as a mother. ;)

It’s a spur of a moment decision, really, and before she fully comprehends what she’s doing she’s already flying from the scene, baby clutched tightly to her chest.
What surprises her even more, or, maybe it shouldn’t have surprised her after all, is that she doesn’t go back to the DEO. Instead, she finds herself at home, standing in the middle of her and Alex’s living room, baby still in her arms, shaken out of her daze when the little girl starts squirming in her arms.
And that’s when it really sinks in for her. The baby in her arms, still very much a tiny, squirmy newborn, really, had been left behind when they had to take down its mother, an act that had left all of them shaken up, and as her instincts had kicked in Kara had picked the girl up to take her away from the gruesome scene while the others were still cleaning up after the fight that had ensued.
Alex had watched her take off, had wanted to shout after her, but she was too fast, of course, and somehow she had just known where she would find her.

So, she isn’t surprised when she finds Kara at home, but she is most definitely surprised by the look of fear written across her face when she slowly turns to her, her body suddenly very still, her features tense.
“Kara, hey - is everything okay?”, she carefully approaches her, wondering what was frightening the blonde so much.
“Alex-”, Kara just breathes out as she looks up at her and then back down at the baby.
“She’s so tiny”, she eventually whispers and it’s then that realization dawns on Alex.

“It’s okay, Kara, you won’t break her”, Alex’ voice is gentle and she comes to stand right in front of Kara and carefully runs her fingers over the girl’s head, touching soft baby hair, taking it all in.
“But- she’s so fragile, Alex. How-”, words fail her as she keeps staring at the girl in her arms, who is starting to drift off again, surrounded by Kara’s warm body and Alex’ gentle touch.
“She’s okay, Kara, you’re okay. She’s safe and she’s okay. She trusts you”, a soft smile crosses Alex’ face at that and she watches Kara hold the girl, so gentle, so soft.

It’s then that Kara finally seems to relax and she lets out a long breath, letting Alex help her adjust her hold on the girl as she finally falls asleep.
“Alex, I-”, Kara’s voice falters and a look in stormy blue eyes tells Alex what she’s trying to say.
“I want to keep her, Alex, I want to give her a home”, at this her voice finally cracks and the pain becomes evident, the pain of a girl who was alone when she came to earth, who had no one to look out for her, to care for her, to love her, until she had found a family, a home, in Alex and her parents.

Alex’ first instinct is fear, the overwhelming feeling that they weren’t ready for this, not yet, their lives were always at risk, their relationship still adjusting to the changes. But then, there probably wasn’t a better place for this little girl. A place with people who could protect her, love her, raise her and who could tell her that it was okay to be different in a world where aliens were often hated and hunted for their differences.

And then there was Kara, sweet, gentle, soft Kara. So scared a moment ago, so tender now, as she stared down at the sleeping baby in her arms, all tension drained from her body, a gentle strength taking its place instead.
It was perfect, Alex decided, Kara, the girl, them. A family. They could be a family. Alex knew that Kara had longed for this for so long, a family of her own, and this girl seemed to complete them in a way Alex hadn’t thought would be possible.
So instead of worrying, instead of telling Kara about the extent of this decision, she just wraps her arms around her, around them, and whispers, ever so softly “welcome home, baby girl”.

Behind The Scenes Pt. 19

Summary: The reader is Jensen’s girlfriend (fiancé) and also a cast member of the show. Discover their journey to parent hood and marriage as they go.

Author: deanwinchester-af

Characters: Jensen, Reader, Jared and Cast Cameos.

Pairings: Single!Jensen x Actress!Reader

Words: 1.8k+

Warnings: None.


A/N: One part before it’s hiatus for this series…  Please, check this announcement. Hope y’all like this, feedback is appreciated it.



“I’m not leaving you alone, Y/N!” Jensen shouted.

You burst into laughter when Jensen messed up his line by saying your name. He hid himself from the camera by resting his head on your shoulder. His lips touching your neck as he laughed. Your dark curls covering his face.

“Don’t you dare to leave me alone, Jay!” You shouted with an over dramatic tone.

Everyone around you were laughing their ass off. It wasn’t any day when Jensen messed up genuinely. Usually it was just to make you laugh in the middle of a scene. Today was an exception, Jensen was messing up his lines. He step back after kissing your neck softly and getting back into his mark.

“And… Action!” Bob shouted.

You breathed in, waiting for Jensen to storm into the room with his Dean’s frustrated scowl. Jensen slammed the door open, making your character step up from the bed quickly. Jensen give you his best Dean’s hurt eyes. You sighed, acting sad because Katherine already know Dean’s knows.

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I promised a thank you post and the way I plan to do this is to promote/thank blogs I have interacted with here (ic + talk to fairly normally ooc). If I have interacted with them on my primary blog as well, I will keep my promo short & sweet (marked with *) here as I plan to eventually do something like this on mikasita-ackerman!

I would like to start with thanking all the people who follow me, like my stuff, reblog me, and put up with me!! I appreciate it so much! 

Thank you to some of the more serious rp blogs interacting with me on here! I really appreciate it! If anyone is interested in following these blogs, please read this post to familiarize yourself with rp etiquette. ^^ The promos and honorable mentions are down below: 

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tiny-smallest  asked:

My favorite thing about Cerberus (besides the pure unadulterated fluff) is the fact that it's actually plausible for him to exist! The Pluto to his Mickey. And I know you didn't make him for the OTR au, but I am tempted to write Henry making him real for Bendy following the circus trauma to help Ben recover from that. It'd mean more work for Henry but dogs don't have existential crisises and Ben seems like he's REALLY traumatized after the big top nonsense, so screw it, let's try this.

Oh man… tbh, I never really thought of including Cerberus in my Over the Rainbow AU, but… omg, Henry getting Bendy a therapy puppy… oh nooooo, that’s very tempting because like–

The only way he’d be able to create Cerberus would be if he used Ink… from the Ink Machine… back in the Studio. 

Ok, now I’m picturing Henry literally digging up the remains of the ink machine to gather up a bucket’s worth of ink to create Cerberus and ohhhh imagine the CONSEQUENCES, Henry. 

…Screw it, I’m including it in canon. 

after a three year detour to the community college from hell (which was only supposed to be two years but i got screwed over), i am happy to say i am officially DONE as of today 🍾🍾🍾 and last week i got accepted to the university i want to transfer to, so hopefully this is the beginning of a better chapter of my life

Ma mère-grand, que vous avez de grandes dents ! / Grandmother, what big teeth you have got!