if this is real i am so screwed

Remember how I said I wrote an essay breaking down Tendou's character? Well here it is

So let’s talk about Tendou Satori. When he was first introduced, he was automatically deemed as a villain. Although, as the season commenced, bits and pieces of his back story were unveiled, revealing as to why he could be seen as malicious. Many people still portray him as such, although, he’s far from it. Tendou Satori is broken. He’s been hurt all his life up until high school. Tendou Satori is broken, but he’s brave, he’s shattered but he’s strong. Tendou Satori is arguably the most complex, enigmatic character in the whole show, and it’s about time someone cracked the enigma.

When Tendou Satori was in elementary school, presumably when he was nine or ten, he was bullied. Before the scene begins, you get a little visual of young Tendou. The audience can already infer what kind of child he was. Naturally, he’s awkward. He’s gangly, has wide eyes and a tired face, a bowl cut, and undeniably looks a little bit like a horror movie child, but you can’t help but love him, because any sensible person knows what this child is going through, if your first thoughts of him were negative. Riddle me this, how do you expect a nine year old child to react to someone more powerful than him referring to him as a monster? How do you expect a mere child to handle years of torment, years of being cast out of doing something he loves because of who he is? He breaks. This torment was the first shatter in Tendou’s heart, and by far, the largest fracture. Of course, it isn’t implied, not much is implied besides the fact that he is bullied, but we can infer that Tendou took this bullying rough. You can expect tears, and tantrums and trauma. To many, being cast out and bullied away from a sport or hobby would overall make said person hate said activity, but Tendou didn’t quite give up. It isn’t shown, but somehow, Tendou got his way into playing a match against his bullies and presumably, he won. Can you imagine Tendou Satori, the nine year old boy who has been bullied for so long, finally feeling a sliver of power? He knows the pain these people have put him through. The tears, the deprecation. The nine year old boy who was learning to hate himself far before he should ever start feeling any insecurity. To finally, finally see the slightest bit of pain in the tormentor’s eyes was enough to make up for all the pain that dwelled in his. He was happy, of course, who wouldn’t be? In that moment he knew what these kids would do, only because he’s done it so many times himself. They would go home, upset. They’d drop their bookbags by the door then storm to their bedroom and cry. They’d cry out the frustration, the embarrassment, the welled up hate. For Tendou, imagining other people finally experiencing relative torment was better than any apology. This is the first turning point in Tendou’s personality, that Guess Block of his. Tendou got a feeling of pride after this, and of course, naturally, he was going to hold onto the only thing that made him feel powerful. The Guess Block. The wonderful, magnificent move that would bring him to power. Right?

As Tendou moved onto middle school, it is evident that he has been accepted, but only in the slightest. During his last year, it shows that he has styled his hair differently. Automatically, its remorseful. His demons haven’t abandoned him, and to be accepted, Tendou tried to fix the only part of him that could be easily fixed, his hair. Although, fixing his hair doesn’t bring him to acceptance. He keeps the Guess Block close to him, after five years he still uses it as his crutch, and people don’t like it. A woman, presumably his coach, yells at him for it. Tendou tries to argue that it’s helping them score points, but she disagrees. This doesn’t get Tendou down, though. The Guess Block is the only thing he takes pride in, and like hell anyone is going to take that away from him. As his coach yells at him, he smiles. To him, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with this block, and because of it, the coach gets frustrated, and ends practice early. The episode then cuts to a scene of Tendou walking up to a storage closet. Inside, there are two other boys, his teammates, talking behind his back. The first thing they say is a blatant attack at his looks and personality. In that moment, you can see Tendou’s mood just drop. Unlike the Guess Block, there’s absolutely nothing about his body or mind that he can take pride in. That deep crack in his heart from when he was a kid shatters just a bit more. Now it wasn’t just complete strangers, bullies who he was trying to fit in with. These were his teammates, people he was supposed to get along with, work with, play with. Now that his own teammates were calling him that same taunting name ‘Monster’, Tendou feels more betrayed than before. The teammates continue, saying things such as how he doesn’t cooperate, and how practice “always ends early when Tendou’s around.” This was a jab at his Guess Block. Although his views of it didn’t change, you can see that later on, he was starting to get a bit insecure over the thing he loves most.

When Tendou applies for the Shiratorizawa volleyball team, his nerves are evident. After the whole incident in middle school, he had began to grow a bit wary of the Guess Block, although he’s still very confident. If he wasn’t confident, he wouldn't’ have put a suit and tie on, marched down to Washijou’s office and requested to be put on the team, but he did. He did because he was confident. During the meeting with Washijou, Tendou looks sullen talking about his Guess Block. For a moment, he expects an immediate rejection, although, when he’s greeted with acceptance, he’s shocked. There was a look in his eyes that scared me. In that very moment, dressed in uncharacteristic clothes and sweaty palms, his nervous gut roiling and walls that felt like they were going to close in on him, he felt free. This has probably been the first time in Tendou’s life that he had been accepted by someone outside of his family. He was not only being accepted for his Guess Block, but him. He was being accepted for Tendou Satori, the nine year old boy who couldn’t play volleyball because he looked like a monster, the fourteen year old boy who was stabbed in the back by his own teammates. He was being accepted for him. Can you imagine the wave of happiness that rushed over him? He hadn’t quit, he never gave up on this sport. Tendou Satori loves volleyball, and now, after fifteen years of never playing it with pure happiness, he finally will. Acceptance into Shiratorizawa was a giant plaster over all the wounds in his heart.

You can presume that Tendou continues his next three years of high school with happiness, although it’s evident his scars have yet to heal. Tendou is a beautiful person, he really is, despite his pent up persona of being a sadist. He wants nothing more than the happiness of other people. You can see this when he butts into Shirabu and Goshiki’s argument. He knows Shirabu is a confident, he should be, so his time praising him is limited. Goshiki, however, is somebody Tendou can read. Tendou sees himself in him, and although it’s subliminal, it speaks a lot. Tendou is fast to compliment not only Goshiki’s game technique, but his hair. Now, Goshiki has the same haircut as Tendou when he was a child, so naturally, it would tie to some bad memories. I think Tendou never really wanted to style his hair differently. If it were up to him, he would’ve kept it the same, he would’ve kept everything the same, really, but he had to change. He forced himself to change because he wanted to force his way into being accepted. Tendou doesn’t want Goshiki to end up in the same pit as he did. Tendou is going to be there to be the acceptance that Tendou never received. Other people on the team gently tease Goshiki for being so enthusiastic, but never once does Tendou put him down. If you look into Goshiki’s character he shows very positive signs when he’s being complimented, once even going as far as stating that he loves to have a fuss being made over him. Tendou never had that, so can you imagine the happiness he must feel seeing Goshiki feel proud over words he says? On this team, Tendou does feel a lot of acceptance. Him and Ushijima are good friends, amazing friends, at that, and thst can imply that Ushijima was Tendou’s first real friend. Despite the positive atmosphere Tendou is in, there’s one thing that still spikes his insecurity, his nickname. Although “Guess Monster” may seem badass, it isn’t to him. It enraged his everytime he hears it, although it isn’t shown. Its taking his rock, the Guess Block, and pairing it up with the very demise of his existence. It’s bittersweet. He likes to be recognized for the move he’s spent years perfecting, but when it’s tied to the very bane of his existence, it automatically becomes a negative term. Something inside Tendou is still very attached to that malicious child nostalgia. He becomes kind of a perfectionist. Although his Guess Block is either 0% or 120%, he always wants it to be at 120%. He feels as if it isn’t always perfect, isn’t always scoring points, he’s useless, even if it is one point. He was accepted on this team to score points, and if he can’t do that, he might as well be the awkward, nine year old boy standing on the side of the court, holding back tears while being called a monster. There are scenes in which Tendou says things that are familiar to me. I’ve been in situations like this where I try to play off my mistakes as a joke so people can look beyond them. The whole cry of, “I screwed up!” and trying to change the topic away from the move he guessed wrong are things I’ve done to mask my failures. I could tell you exactly what he’s feeling, embarrassment. It’s a cold sweat over his skin, his stomach tightens up and he hopes nobody, especially not his coach was paying attention. He wants people to forget he’s flawed, forget he can do any wrong. This cold sweat will keep breaking out until he redeems himself, until he’s back up at 120% again, and all images of deprecation subside.

After the final match with Karasuno ends, Tendou is seemingly calm, but he’s not. Tendou is a tempest, and enigma, somebody who’s built up so many walls to shelter his real emotions. He doesn’t want to be seen as vulnerable as he was back then. But he knows damn well the moment he gets home, he’ll break down into pieces. When Tendou says ‘Goodbye my paradise” this refers to many things. Firstly, it refers to the sport of volleyball itself. While stretching with Ushijima, Tendou tells the latter that he won’t be continuing volleyball after high school, and is going to leave that to Ushijima. In all honesty, the comment seems light hearted. This could be seen from the perspective that Tendou just doesn’t want to continue, that he doesn’t think he’ll be good enough for college, but that’s not it. Tendou Satori loves volleyball more than Ushijima, more than Hinata, more than Oikawa or Kageyama or anybody. To Tendou, volleyball is his entire life. The reason why Tendou has decided to drop volleyball is because he doesn’t want to dwell in that deep dark pit again. Shiratorizawa was Tendou’s safe haven, and inarguably the best three years of his life. Tendou doesn’t want to go back to vying to play volleyball or trying to be accepted all over again. He knows he won’t be as lucky with other teams as he was with Shiratorizawa. Tendou knows the moment he tries to get on other team, they’ll cast him out. Of course, he might have a title, people would definitely take him in, seeing that he was from the infamous Shiratorizawa boys volleyball team, but acceptance necessarily doesn’t mean acceptance. It would be like middle school all over again. The arguments with the coach, the hate behind his back. Tendou wants to leave volleyball with the wonderful experience he’s had at Shiratorizawa, and not another team that despises his very being. He wants to love volleyball for what he had, not what he tried to have. Volleyball at Shiratorizawa was his paradise, it was the place where he had first made friends, where he first was praised, where he first was able to play however he wanted, be whoever he wanted. “Farewell, my paradise” just shatters my heart. He’ll be going back into the real world, where people don’t accept him like people did at his school. The vacation is over for him. He’s bracing himself for the usual torments, the comments, the hate. Tendou, more than anyone, more than his pissed off coach, and sobbing Goshiki, despises this loss. That drop of the ball on his side of the court was the soft meding plaster that covered his wounds being ripped off fast and hard without warning. It stung.

Tendou Satori is an incredible character. He’s broken, beaten, bruised inside out, but until the very end, Tendou powers through it. Tendou Satori loves volleyball. He loves it through his pain, he loves it through his betrayal and begins to love it even more as his glory days arrive. Tendou, despite his portrayal as a sadistic, cold blooded villain, is soft. He’s human, he has more scars than anyone, and tries to mend these scars all he can. He’s absolutely incredible. He has a sadder story than everyone, even Tsukishima, Yamaguchi and Kageyama. He’s more powerful than everyone, even Hinata, Oikawa and Ushijima. He’s kinder than everyone, even Sugawara, Asahi and Akaashi. Tendou Satori is dirt caked and broken, but with polish, he’s ethereal.

13 Reasons Why this show makes me slightlyyyy salty

1) Why does it take Clay this long to listen to the tapes? TV Show Clay is a wimp and Book Clay is a masterpiece. I’m QUITE salty
2) Realistically, Clay would not be out on his VendettaTM because he would be too preoccupied with figuring out what HE did to Hannah. He doesn’t throw the rock at Tyler’s house and this is an important aspect of his character 3) All these people are too cool to talk to him and in the books they mostly ignored him. And honestly why tf did they have to steal his bike? That was such an empty subplot.
4) All these fucking tattoos
5) Okay I’m very happy with the diversity but? two straight white protagonists? I get they want to stay relevant to the books but not much was relevant to the books so why not screw that??
6) Tony’s trophy boyf is without backstory. Although I am secretly proud of this because he and Clay are absolutely shippable, you can’t just throw in a character to make him gay, that’s pointless? You can be gay without a boyfriend??
7) THANK YOU GOD FOR NOT ERASING THE CUTS ON HIS FACE but they’re weirdly black and perfect and it’s unsettling
8) Sheri instead of Jenny? Tf?
9) Okay but real talk: the show drags on for far too long. Tortoise-Clay beside the point, some of the scenes were over-explained. You may not agree, but it’s your stereotypical high school drama where everything takes far too long to resolve
10) There were not enough naturally blonde people
11) Did you notice how many people were wearing the same sort of lip product? because I don’t think I’m imagining it? Tony especially has this subtle dark pink-purple lip going on (and it’s H.O.T.) but it’s also weird how everyone is going for the same shade. Except for Skye since she is TarotPunkTM. AnywAaaay it’s too coordinated
12) You don’t just end a series with the protagonist and his besties driving off into the distance unless you a) are the producer of Supernatural or b) add a scene where Tony gazes lovingly at Clay and Clay is oblivious
13) I still don’t know Alex’s fate and he is my cinnamon roll and I’m crying (plus Tyler is acting weird af and I think he’s a serial killer)

edit: I clearly like the book version better but it is a good show. & I’m being petty, I realize, y'all chill :)

This Valentine’s Day I’d like to share a few things with you. I’m 19 years old and:

I have never had sex in my life
I have never dated anyone in real life (so not on the Internet)
I have never kissed anyone
I have never been on a date
I have never even held hands with someone romantically
I literally have never even been close to dating anyone in real life

Not because I don’t want to or because I’m picky. Because no one has ever asked me out or showed affection for me or even flirted with me. I don’t think anyone irl has ever fancied me, or if they did they never let me know in any way.

And you know what? I don’t care. I moved on from feeling abnormal and broken and not whole. I refuse to connect my value as a person to those things. I will not allow myself to think of myself as less because I have never done any of those things. Yes maybe my self-esteem still relies on my uni grades or good reviews of my works but I finally stopped thinking that there is something wrong with me for not experiencing those things.

I feel happy and whole anyway. I survived every crush who didn’t return my feelings and every instance of being attracted to someone and knowing they do not like me back. I survived and moved on.

And today I’d like you to turn to things you really value in your life. Your jobs and talents and hobbies and passions. Your family and friends and pets and even house plants. Your favorite books and bands and TV-shows and video games. Your favorite ice-cream and favorite pair of jeans and favorite plush toys.

There are so many people and things you love. There are, I hope, things that make you happy. Focus on them. And screw the society that tells you that you need relationships to know that you are loved. You are already loved. Don’t let society ever persuade you otherwise.


Originally posted by under-the-moonlight-sky

Originally posted by out-in-the-open

“C'mon, Dean.” I shoved my laptop back to his side of the table urging him to look at it. “Three people have suddenly gone missing in the last two weeks all from the same part of town.”

Dean gave me an annoyed look, “Y/n, will you stop. We aren’t going. You’re just getting over the flu, you still need rest. Some other hunter will get it.” He stood to get another cup of coffee.

“I’m fine, Dean. I can handle this.”

Dean looked to Sam for help who was sitting at the end of the table with his nose in a book.

Feeling Dean’s eyes on him he looked up and shrugged, “We’ve hunted for less. Besides, a little fresh air could do her good.”

I smiled at Sam thankful that it was two against one.

Dean looked back at me and I gave him my best puppy dog eyes. “You’re a persistent pain in my ass, you know that?”

“Is that a yes?” Excitement grew inside me.

Dean ran his hand down his face “Yes. We’ll leave in the morning…”

“Yes!” I pumped my fist in the air.

“But if you so much as look pale, I’m putting Garth on it.” He pointed his finger at me.

I nodded and darted off to my room to pack for tomorrow.

We got up early and left. The day was filled with sitting in the car listening to rock music and Sam complaining to turn it down. We finally got to the motel around 9 pm. Sam instantly dived into his laptop and Dean collapsed on one of the beds. I stole the keys to the impala and said I was going to get food and hurried out the door before Dean could protest.

My phone rang after a little bit and I answered to a very tired sounding Dean.

“Don’t forget the pie.”

“Don’t worry, Dean. I won’t forget the pie.” I rolled my eyes.

“That’s what Sam always says.” I could just imagine the look he’d be shooting Sam as he said that.

“Yeah, well, I’m not Sam. Besides I want pie too. So there’s no way I’ll forget it.”

“That’s my girl.” He said before he hung up.

I shook my head and tossed my phone back on the impala’s seat and focused on the road ahead.  It was a dark country back road. No street lights, not many houses, most of which are abandoned, and no other cars.

The lack of light is probably the only reason I noticed the soft blue hue that suddenly emanated from the window of one of the long empty farm houses. My curiosity took over, I just had to check it out. I knew I should just keep driving, get the food, and go back to the motel, but the urge to know what made that light was just too strong.

I pulled over across the street from the house, turned off the engine and went to the trunk to retrieve my pistol just in case. And then I started my walk down the long driveway. I entered the house cautiously, ready to shoot any threat that came my way.

The entry way seemed safe enough so I continued down the hall into the kitchen. The house was quiet, the only sound was of me breathing, which is why the floor creaking under my foot startled me a little. I cursed myself for making noise and then continued to the small hallway where I had two opinions, go down stairs to the basement or turn left where it looked like the bedrooms were.

I decided left was a better option, I’d go down once the upstairs was clear. I was about to turn when I heard the same creak of the floorboards. I swung around aiming my gun at a boy in his teens covered in tribal tattoos. My eyes grew wide when the said tattoos and his eyes started to glow blue.

Definitely a monster. I just didn’t know what monster he was. But you know, shoot first ask questions later.

Unfortunately this monster wasn’t really phased by silver. He lunged towards me, attempting to grab my arm. I dodged, but hands from behind me grabbed hold of my arms and pulled them behind my back.

There’s two. I am so screwed… If these monsters don’t kill me, my brothers certainly will…

The boy reached out and placed his hand on my forehead.

I woke up slumped at a desk I hadn’t sat at in years. It was cluttered with papers and books all relating to lore. I shot up in the chair and looked around. It was my old room at Bobby’s house. But that house had burned down.

“No way… This can’t be real.” I mumbled to myself.

“Y/n?!” Bobby’s voice traveled into the room.

I spun around and rushed to the door but tripped over my boots which were carelessly tossed on the floor just like they always used to be. I smacked face first into the door frame as Bobby appeared in the doorway.

“It’s real.. It’s real.” l mumbled, holding my hands against my forehead.

“What’s real?” Bobby asked me.

I stared at Bobby in disbelief. “But you’re supposed to be dead…”

“Did you fall asleep reading again?”

I looked back at the cluttered desk. Did I?

Bobby only shook his head, not waiting for my answer. “C'mon, it’s time to eat.”

I followed Bobby down the stairs and into the kitchen. He handed me a bowl of the stew that he had made and we sat down. We ate quietly for a moment. I had no clue what was happening. I looked at Bobby. I had always gone to him when I couldn’t figure something out, maybe I should try that now.


“Yeah?” He answered without looking up at me.

“Uh, is there a monster than can change reality?”

“What do you mean?”

“Is there some type of creature that can make the world as we know it change?”

“I’ve never heard of anything like that. Why are you asking?”

“Oh, you know, random thoughts.” I said disappointed he had no information for me. Maybe Sam or Dean would be more helpful. “So, where are Sam and Dean?”

“Who?” He gave me a weird look.

“Sam and Dean. You know really tall, always getting into trouble.” He stared at me blankly so I continued. “Winchester.” I said, growing confused myself.

“Relatives you haven’t told me about?” He guessed, genuinely not knowing who I was talking about.

I thought for a minute. If this world was different from mine in the way that Bobby and the house are still here then maybe it changed in more ways than just that. Maybe my father had never met Bobby. Maybe he had never gone into hunting at all and the boys had normal lives.

Something occurred to me. “Is there a creature that can make wishes come true?”

“What? Like a genie?” Bobby chuckled.

“Well, yeah I guess. Are they real?”

“No, they’re not real.” Bobby acted like I should’ve known that fact. “Is something going on that I don’t know about?”

“No, nothing. I was just wondering.” I focused on my food hoping he wouldn’t see through my lie.

Bobby only shrugged and went back to his dinner. I didn’t say anything for the rest of night.

After eating I went back to my room hoping that when I woke up the next morning Bobby would still be there.

The next morning after I made sure everything was the same as last night, I packed a bag. I had to know what had become of the boys, what their lives are like in this world, if they were safe…

I ran down the stairs, eager to start the drive to Lawrence but Bobby’s voice made me stop in my tracks.

“And where do you think you’re going?”

I turned from the door and saw him standing there with his arms crossed over his chest and a stern look on his face, just like all the times he’d caught me sneaking out when I was younger.

“There’s a case in Lawrence, Kansas. Just a simple salt and burn. I’ll be back in a few days.” It wasn’t a complete lie. I was going to Lawrence and I would most likely be back in a few days.

“So you were just going to leave and have me wondering where you were?” He raised his eyebrows at me.

A smile spread across my face. “Aw, Bobby, would you be worried about me?” I joked.

“No, you idjit. I just want to know what to tell someone if they come by.”

I laughed. “Like who?”

“Like Cas.”

“So he does know about me..” I mumbled.


“Nothing. I’ll see you in a few days.” And with that I shot out the door and jumped into my truck before Bobby could stop me.

About an hour into the drive I started to doubt if my brothers were even in Lawrence. I should have looked into it before rushing out but I wasn’t thinking. If they weren’t in Lawrence I could always go to Lebanon to see the bunker.

“Hello, Y/n.” Cas appeared next to me.

I swerved a little. “Dammit, Cas! How many times have I told you not to pop in while I’m driving?”

“Fifteen.” He said simply.


“You’ve told me-”

“Nevermind.” I cut him off. “What are you doing here?”

“Bobby was worried. You know he doesn’t like you going on cases alone.”

“Does he always send you to check up on me?”

Cas looked at me confused. “Yes.”

“So does this mean you’ll be coming with me?” I asked.

“That is what Bobby asked of me.”

I sighed. Great. How am I going to pull this one off…

“You don’t seem very happy about that. Usually you enjoy my company on hunts, do you not?”

“Of course I enjoy your company, Cas. It’s just this case… It’s well, more personal.” Cas gave me a confused look so I continued. “It’s not a salt and burn like I told Bobby. In fact I don’t think there’s anything supernatural going on in Lawrence.”

“Then why are you going?”

“There’s some people I have to see. My brothers.”

“I didn’t know you had siblings.”

“I didn’t either for a while. My dad, he had two boys before me. If his wife hadn’t died I probably wouldn’t be here. I just have to know who they are. I can’t really explain it, I just have to know.”

“And Bobby doesn’t know.”

“No. And I don’t want him to. At least not yet.”

“Then I will not tell him. But I am coming with you.”

I smiled a little. “Thanks, Cas.”

We got to Lawrence around midnight and the first thing I did was check into the nearest motel. Despite Cas saying that I should get some sleep, I started looking for anything I could find on the Winchester boys. I found out that Sammy had graduated top of his class, which wasn’t at all surprising. He’d gone on to law school, but this time I bet John was proud and didn’t tell him to never come back. And now he was a lawyer in Lawrence. I discovered that Dean dropped out of highschool and had gone to work with John as a mechanic, no surprise there either. So coming here wasn’t a total waste after all.

I leaned back in my chair with a satisfied smile on my face. Cas was giving me a weird look but I paid him no mind as I went over to one of the beds to get a few hours of shut eye before tomorrow morning.

The next morning I jumped out of bed excited to get a move on. I couldn’t wait to see the boys. I wanted to see just how happy they were. I hadn’t seen them truly happy since before Bobby died. I quickly got ready and called to Cas to hurry up as I ran out the door.

The mechanic shop was closer so that was my first stop. I parked across the street where we hopefully wouldn’t be as noticeable. I spotted the impala right off the bat. She hadn’t changed a bit on the outside but I bet the trunk was completely different.

“What are we doing here?” Cas asked.

“This is where my oldest brother, Dean, works.” I explained.

My eyes were glued to the front of the shop. I was so focused on seeing Dean that it never occurred to me that my dad might be here and I was surprised when I saw him walk up to the shop. He looked just as surprised when he saw me.

I started the truck. “Time to go, Cas.”

“What? Why?”

I drove away from the shop a quickly as I could. “That was my father and I really don’t feel like talking to him at the moment.”

“You seem angry with him.” Cas observed.

“That’s because I am.”

Cas didn’t push the issue but I could tell he wanted to.

I drove straight back to the motel no longer in the mood to sit outside of Sam’s work for a glimpse of him.

I sat down at the table in the motel room and ran my hands down my face.

“Are you ok, Y/n?” Cas sounded concerned.

“What was I thinking?” I said more to myself then to Cas. “It’s not like they know who I am. What would I have even said to them anyway? ‘Hey, I’m Y/n, your long lost sister. I kinda just stalked you on the internet so I could find out what your life is like.’ Yeah, that would’ve gone over well.”

Cas just stared at me.

“What do you say we go to Lebanon tomorrow?” I asked eager to change the subject.

“Whatever you want.”

I spent the rest of the day looking for actual cases to chase after but had no such luck.

The next day Cas and me went to a dinner so I could get something to eat before we headed out to Lebanon. Cas of course didn’t order anything being an angel and all.

“Y/n.” I heard a deep and stern voice say behind me making me cringe.

I tried to control my anger and turned in my seat to look at him. “Hello, John.”

He sat down in the chair next to me. “What are you doing here? Where’s your mother?”

“Dead. But it’s not like you cared enough to know about that.” I scoffed.

He seemed taken aback by my answer. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

I threw some cash on the table and looked at Cas. “C'mon, Cas, let’s get out of here.” I stood and started to walk out but John caught up to me.

“Wait, Y/n.” He grabbed my arm as I walked out the door. “Tell me what happened.”

Cas stiffened but he didn’t move. He knew I wanted to handle this myself.

We got out of the way of the doors. “I don’t really know what happened.” I said without looking at him. “She was torn apart. I don’t know what did it.”

He looked sad, which surprised me but it wasn’t gonna make me let him off easy. “When?”

“I was ten.”

He looked shocked. “Who have you been living with?”

“A friend of mom’s.” I said simply.

“Back to my earlier question. What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to see who my brothers were. Oh, thanks by the way for telling me I had them.” I started to walk away again.

“Y/n. Hear me out. I didn’t want them to know about what your mom was into.”

I turned back, surprised. “You know about that?”

“The boys. They deserve their innocence.”

“That I agree with.” I started to leave again.

“Why do you hate me?” John pulled me back.

“That’s what happens when you abandon a child. They grow up hating you.” I said without missing a beat.

I drove Cas back to the motel. “I’m gonna go on a walk, Cas. Alone.” He nodded knowing it was no use to argue with me, especially with the mood I was in and I left.

I had no destination in mind. I just wanted to get fresh air and clear my head. I hadn’t seen my father since my mom died and he dropped me off at Bobby’s. That was another world but I still couldn’t forgive him for my mom’s death or abandoning me.

Tears started to run down my face as the memories of losing my mom rushed through my head. The worry I felt when she didn’t come back to the motel after a week. The fear I felt when I opened the door to my father. He told me what happened but nothing more. And then I was at Bobby’s. Bobby was the one who tried to comfort me the best he could. He was the one to take care of me and raised me. The one to deal with me through my moody teen years and the one to help me through broken hearts and homework and the one who taught me to hunt. He was the one who acted like a father should.

Someone bumped into me. “Oh I’m sorry ma'am. I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

That voice. I know that voice. I looked up to the face of my big brother.

“Hey, are you ok?” Sam asked.

I shook my head and dried my eyes. “I’ll be fine.”

“Why don’t we go get a cup of coffee and we can talk about it ok?” Sam offered.

“No. It’s fine. You probably don’t want to hear the problems of a stranger anyways.”

“C'mon. It’s on me.” He insisted.

The look in his eyes told me I wasn’t going to get out of this one so I nodded and let him lead me to a nearby coffee shop.

“So, what was the cause of all those tears?” He asked as we sat down at a table after ordering.

“I ran into my father that I haven’t seen in years.”

“That bad, huh?”

“You could say that. He ditched me and my mom when I was really young. I was kind of an accident and I think he’s ashamed that he ever got with my mom after his wife died. I probably just remind him of the mistake he made.”

“Your dad sounds like a jerk if he thinks of you like that.”

“Yeah he kinda is. He didn’t even know that my mom died and that I was raised by her friend. I don’t know why I even care. Bobby was more of a father to me than my actual dad ever was. Bobby always tells me that family doesn’t end in blood but…”

“It still hurts though. Being rejected by your family.” He finished for me.


“Well,” He paused not knowing my name.


“Well, Y/n, I can tell you you’re not alone in having a father who rejects you. My father resents me for not going into the family business and becoming a lawyer instead.”

My heart fell when he said that. I was hoping their relationship was different now. “Most parents would be thrilled about their kid becoming a lawyer. What did your dad want you to do?” I said even though I knew the answer already.

“He wanted me to be a mechanic.”

“Really?” I said with fake disbelief.

“Yeah. He was just mad that I don’t follow orders like my brother.”

I laughed at that. “Sounds like we both have daddy issues.”

A comfortable silence loomed over us as we drank our coffee just enjoying each others company. 

“So did your brother became a mechanic?” I asked in an attempt to strike the conversation back up.

“Yep. He usually does what dad tells him. Always trying to please him.”

“Did he want to though? Become a mechanic I mean.”

Sam shrugged, “Dean’s always liked cars.” He took a drink of his coffee then held his hand out to me. “I’m sorry, I haven’t even told you my name. Sam Winchester, it’s nice to meet you.”

I laughed and shook his hand. “Nice to meet you too, Sam.”

When it came time to leave neither of us really wanted to go. I liked doing something normal with my brother, no talk of the supernatural or anything like that. The only problem being he thought I was some random girl he happened to bump into on the street.

“So, do you live around here, Y/n?” Sam asked.

I shook my head. “I’m just passing through.”

“Where you headed?”

“I don’t know yet. I just go wherever the wind takes me.”  

He smiled. “Well, I would love to talk to you again before you leave. You’re an interesting person and I feel like you’re someone I can be friends with.”

“Oh really?” I smiled back up at him. I pulled a pen out of my pocket and grabbed his hand, scribbling my number across acrossed his palm. “Well in that case, here’s my number. I’ll probably be here for a few more days and we can set something up.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Sam agreed.

“Your mood has improved.” Cas stated as I walked into our motel room.

“I had a very good walk.”  I told him with a smile.

“When should we leave for Lebanon?” He asked.

“Lebanon can wait a few more days.”


“You never listen do you?” Hissed Sherlock as he strode to Irene, furious, “I told you to stay put, and of course you chose to run after him! You could’ve –”

“I could’ve what!” She interjected, looking up at him in defiance, arms crossed and impatient.

“You could –”

“What, Sherlock! What is it that you’re insisting I could’ve done, because I honestly don’t think there was a single alternative that would’ve stopped him from getting away! ”

“You could’ve got yourself killed!” He yelled. Realising that he was now gripping her shoulders, their proximity alarming, he dropped his hands and turned around abruptly, striding out of the alley.

Another day, another trope in the FBI partners (formerly thief vs. agent) AU. Several days after the the undercover first kiss. Warning: rating at the end will be between Teen+ and Mature.


A few hours later, they were back at the headquarters, separately being angry at each other. Sherlock was in his office on the 19th floor whereas Irene ended up in a lift with John, who was carrying a box of files and clearly heading to the lower levels (i.e. opportunity for Irene to see the FBI archives and assess the security).

John cleared his throat and went, “So I heard about what happened today.” Irene gave him a quirked-eyebrow look. John chuckled, “I take it you two are always at each other’s throats?” “It’s not uncommon, no.” Then silence for a few minutes.

“He seems to like you, you know. Sherlock. That outburst today wasn’t because you didn’t follow orders. It was because he was scared. Of losing you.”

That evening Sherlock arrived at his flat and found Irene leaning against his door, waiting.

“I suppose I should be grateful that you didn’t just break in. If you could please move, I’d like to get inside.” Irene stepped aside and watched him turn his key, his brow was constricted and his jaw was set. He pushed the door open and stepped through. Irene swiftly slipped in behind him.

“Is there a reason you’re following me?” He asked, slight hint of bitterness in his tone.

“I thought we could talk about what happened today, as you obviously think I did something wrong.” Irene crossed her arms.

“You did. You completely ignored my order. Your job is to provide insight into the criminal mind, it is mine to chase them down and arrest them.”

“What difference does it make whether it is you or I who catches them, if it leads to the same result?”

“The difference, is that I am armed and trained to take them down, whereas you, run after them without thinking.” He clenched his teeth. (Sherlock was not being very reasonable here. Irene’s far from careless in her actions. The incident earlier that day just was a dangerous situation and he was worried.)

Their argument continued and was becoming increasingly heated when she snapped, “Well I don’t need a badge and a weapon to be able to do what I know is right. And I can take care of myself as I make my way in the world, Sherlock. I’ve been doing it for a long time.” She headed towards the door, her hand inches away from the handle.

“How would you know anything about what is right or wrong? You are a criminal. Your parents would’ve been proud if they were alive. Knowing that the daughter they raised is a professional thief and is taking foolish risks so that she can get herself killed just like they probably were.” (I should mention that no one knew Irene’s backstory or her real purpose for cooperating with the FBI. Not even Sherlock, despite having his suspicions.)

Everything in her halted, body and mind. She felt as if she had been slapped. She turned back to him, flames in her eyes.

“Wait, I.. I am sorry. Irene. I didn’t mean that.” He suddenly looked uncertain, all traces of anger leaving his eyes.

Irene: (Screw calm.)

“Irene.. I’m sorry. Please, could we –”

She swiftly closed the distance between them, her fist already swinging towards him. It made contact with his cheekbone and she ignored the pain spreading through her hand. She allowed the anger and hate and pain that she was feeling to drive her as she continued to throw punches at him.

Sherlock grabbed one of her wrists trying to stop her. Irene drove the elbow of her other arm into his stomach. Air was driven from his lungs as he groaned. She freed her wrist and continued her assault.

He blocked her right fist. But when her left followed up, not only did he misguide it past his torso, his own hand also made an instinctual offensive move, swinging towards her.

He realised what he was doing and opened his fist, the instant before contact, a last-second attempt at lessening the blow. But she stumbled back a step, pain spreading over her cheek.

“It was an accident!” He held up his palms, his expression genuinely apologetic.

Her eyes narrowed.

“Irene.” He warned.

She went at him again in fury. He was focused on stopping her throws, not noticing her leg sweeping under him. He did, however, manage to grip one of her wrists, pulling her down with him.

They hit the floor, and before Irene could react, Sherlock rolled and pinned her beneath him with his body weight, gripping her wrists above her head.

Both were breathing heavily as he looked straight at her while she struggled, his face inches from hers. “I am sorry.” He said firmly. She could see the sincerity in his eyes.. Along with something else.

After a few moments she could feel the hatred flowing away, with each passing second. Her brow relaxed and she stopped struggling to free her hands. She saw his eyes briefly glance down at her lips before returning to hers. She watched as his face slowly became closer, his eyes never leaving hers.

And then he was kissing her. Her hands slid out of his grip and trailed down until they were wrapped around his neck, holding him to her.

Sherlock pulled away first, heart rate accelerated, a growing panic in his eyes as they searched hers. He started to shift his weight off of her. Irene’s lips twitched in the beginning of a smile. Immediately she took hold of his shirt and brought him back, connecting their lips once again.

Emotions he could not identify were rushing to the surface of his mind, controlling his actions. Everything that he had previously ignored and pushed aside because he did not know how to deal with, was being unleashed. All he wanted to feel and could feel was her. Something inside him, something that had perhaps been there all along, was taking over.

She gripped tightly to him and rolled them so that she was straddling his waist.

Whatever was happening, it was electric and magnetic. Compulsive. He wasn’t sure if he had the strength to stop it. And he wasn’t sure he wanted to.

He couldn’t recollect how, but at some point they managed to migrate from the floor, when soon what they were doing wasn’t enough. Far from enough. An ensuing frenzy led to buttons skittering across the floor, along with irritating pieces of clothing that formed the only remaining obstacles between them.

Her back hit a wall as he continued his assault on her neck, his hand gripping her waist, driven by an indescribable force.

It was as if an imaginary steel cord within him, one that had resisted and resisted against gradated tension, had finally snapped, and there was no hope of returning.

She pushed him back and they stumbled into the next room, twisting and turning, without breaking contact. She felt the back of her knees hit something and fell backwards onto soft duvet. He fell with her, the vertigo sweeping them up once more.

Thank you to everyone who read, liked, and/or offered support for (via comments/tags) this universe :D Special thanks to @elinorx and her message box for welcoming the atom-by-atom construction and adding to the fun!

Seems my weak spot for crime/action (gunfire involved) Adlock is shared amongst fellow crew to a much greater extent than I’d thought. Cool.

Behind The Scenes Pt. 19

Summary: The reader is Jensen’s girlfriend (fiancé) and also a cast member of the show. Discover their journey to parent hood and marriage as they go.

Author: deanwinchester-af

Characters: Jensen, Reader, Jared and Cast Cameos.

Pairings: Single!Jensen x Actress!Reader

Words: 1.8k+

Warnings: None.


A/N: One part before it’s hiatus for this series…  Please, check this announcement. Hope y’all like this, feedback is appreciated it.



“I’m not leaving you alone, Y/N!” Jensen shouted.

You burst into laughter when Jensen messed up his line by saying your name. He hid himself from the camera by resting his head on your shoulder. His lips touching your neck as he laughed. Your dark curls covering his face.

“Don’t you dare to leave me alone, Jay!” You shouted with an over dramatic tone.

Everyone around you were laughing their ass off. It wasn’t any day when Jensen messed up genuinely. Usually it was just to make you laugh in the middle of a scene. Today was an exception, Jensen was messing up his lines. He step back after kissing your neck softly and getting back into his mark.

“And… Action!” Bob shouted.

You breathed in, waiting for Jensen to storm into the room with his Dean’s frustrated scowl. Jensen slammed the door open, making your character step up from the bed quickly. Jensen give you his best Dean’s hurt eyes. You sighed, acting sad because Katherine already know Dean’s knows.

Keep reading

Was it a kiss? Yes, of course!

I know there’s been some debate on whether or not it was really a kiss, since no one actually explicitly saw their lips touch. 

But I’m strongly against the whole, “they did not kiss” argument, and here’s why!

When Yuuri was breaking down, Victor was wondering how he could calm Yuuri down. He asked casually, ‘should I just kiss you or something?’

This is significant for a few reasons.

1) Victor considered kissing as a way to help Yuuri calm down.

2) It was explicitly stated and a clever use of foreshadowing.

3) I’m not sure on the direct translation, but by using the word ‘just’ was fascinating in itself, and here’s why:

Victor says “Should I just kiss you?” casually, because kissing clearly wouldn’t do enough to calm Yuuri down. Kissing him to shut him up would not be the way to effectively calm Yuuri down or make him feel better. It was just another way for Victor to get the truth out of Yuuri, which he blurted out immediately after.

That is yet another indicator that their love is deeper than simple romance, that it is more than that. A kiss is what a simple lover might do, and they might not go the next step to really care and comfort their partner. Victor cares about Yuuri too much- he’s not going to hush Yuuri. He wants to hear Yuuri’s heart.

Now, on to the moment.

First of all, the two rush to each other- Victor running to the proper location, Yuuri looking around for him frantically, then quite literally scrambling to Victor as soon as he spots Victor again.

We then hear the music halt to silence to emulate a sense of breathlessness. This is clearly to help the viewer feel that heart-stopping, breath-taking moment directly before a kiss like this one. It goes silent, reflecting the way Yuuri’s mind must blank for those split few seconds. This was very intentional and 100% meant for the moment of a kiss.

So first, we get this incredible visual of their lips, hardly inches apart, parted and shiny. Yuuri is especially flushed (from the skating, of course), and his eyes are wide with shock. Victor looks incredibly seductive in this shot.

There’s a frame of Yuuri’s complete shock as Victor closes in.

And then, Victor closes his eyes.

There’s no doubt that the camera is angled this way to show that they are indeed kissing.

Then, we get this frame.

The positioning of their heads is a bit questionable. it seems unlikely that Victor’s lips could actually be on Yuuri’s- from this angle, it looks like his lips are against Yuuri’s cheek that we cannot see. Not to mention, Victor’s arm is blocking the actual connection.

This could have just been an animation fault, but despite that momentary shock, the reactions seal the deal for me.

Minako looks totally shocked and excited to see this, reflecting her persona of constantly sexualizing Chris and even Victor. And now, to see them kissing- of course she would look as flushed and excited as this.

But most of all, the reactions of the family. (My favorite reaction is Yuuri’s mom, who just looks pleasantly surprised). They’re all shocked, and hilariously, Yuuri’s sister looks a bit disgusted- if you have a sibling, of course you’ll be grossed out at seeing them kiss someone else; people with siblings understand that overreacting to the smallest things is totally necessary ;) but really, it’s for humor.

 The reactions are certainly convincing, but what did it for me is what Victor said.

So, people may say that since they landed with Victor’s head tucked by his ear, it’s proof that Victor did not kiss him.

But honestly, that makes no sense. No, they did not share a long, drawn-out kiss (which I believe will happen at the Grand Prix). But they definitely had a peck on the lips at the very least.

Why would Victor say that this was the only thing he could think of to surprise Yuuri more than Yuuri’s surprised him?

If it was just a hug, that would not make any sense. They have hugged before, many, many times, and even in front of the media, in front of others. No one would be so shocked to see that, and if that scene was meant to be a hug, there’s no way the scene would have went silent, that the angles shown would be shown, and the foreshadowing would have even happened.

One could argue that this was just fanservice, but we’ve already proven that Yuri on Ice is not one of those shows. It is not one to make a real relationship into just fujoshi bait. The fanservice is Chris- he is definitely sexualized, I’d argue, but to be fair, he is the one sexualizing himself and controlling his sexuality, so even that argument can be made. But regardless, Victor and Yuuri’s relationship is anything but shallow fanservice.

This is real, and they are not screwing around. 

To me, this was painfully obvious since as early as episode 2, but especially by episode 3.

We’ve just barely made it past halfway through this season (and with this show’s success, I would pray there will be a season 2, a movie, both, just something). We’ve been proven every week that Yuri on Ice can continue to shock us, to take it a step further, and to show Victor’s and Yuuri’s relationship developing even more.

So what else will they do for the next 5 episodes? Oh, I am so excited to see, and I have no doubt it will continue to make history, as it has proven now for 7 consecutive weeks!

Signs as Dr. Venture quotes
  • Aries: Well. I want a second opinion. Oh wait, I'm a doctor! I can give myself one! You suck, and I'm leaving
  • Taurus: I'm going to turn around now and you'd better be on fire. You're standing there in flames and the only person who can put you out is me! Because that is the only conceivable reason that you would wake me up like this!
  • Gemini: Oh come on! You're going to kill me because I had fake sex on graph paper with a girl who barely spoke to you in real life?!
  • Cancer: Screw the boys! I wanna stay here with my new family and their "feel good candy"! 
  • Leo: Crap, who am I kidding, my looks are going down the toilet faster than an unwanted pregnancy on prom night
  • Virgo: Fine! I don't like your dimension anyway. It's an /asshole/ dimension, how do you like that?
  • Libra: You put me in a bag and knocked me out to bring me 50 yards?!
  • Scorpio: So you see, by applying the basic principles of the scientific method to the matter, we learn very quickly that the myth of the chupacabra is just that - utter crap. Now, if you apply the same principles to Catholicism, an interesting thing occurs...
  • Sagittarius: Officer? There's a man in a butterfly suit shooting my robot with a laser beam.
  • Capricorn: Uh, no, it's fairly common for some men to lactate involuntarily in situations of extreme stress
  • Aquarius: Dean! Have you been injecting dope into your scrotum?! I'm your father, you can tell me anything!
  • Pisces: Long story short, I pissed in god's eye... And he blinked.

How am I already seeing Tony Stark hate on my dash for simply being in the Spider-Man movie lmao?

This is the Tony we deserve (not the Tony who has been used to make Steve look like the one true hero who never screws up because that’s Tony’s job)


I wanna enjoy this movie and I wanna stay away from the endless Tumblr discourse so 😂😂 If anyone posts Tony hate I am unfollowing tbh but if u love fatherly!tony and ur excited for him being Peter’s big uncle then hmu so I can followww 😱😆

anonymous asked:

Your a habs fan how can you say your happy for the leafs

Okay, real quick I just want to say this: to all the salty people out there calling the leafs fans “annoying” and complaining about them. Honestly, screw off. So what if you don’t care or you’re unhappy that the leafs made the playoffs. Let others be happy!! Of course they’re going to fill your dash with posts, let them! They deserve this!!!!!!
As for myself, I am happy they made it! Seeing this team struggle and work hard for so long, it’s great to see them in this spot. And I’m happy for the fans as well. They’ve also been through a lot, so I’m very happy for them.
Of course I don’t want them to win it all. Because, yes, I’m a habs fan and that hope is all for my team. But I’d like to see the leafs go far. ☺️

When Music Meets Lyrics (Part 1)

        Character: Min Yoongi & OC (lyricist) 
         Type: Mild angst? 

 Summary: Min Yoongi had been having trouble creating music lately, especially coming up with meaningful lyrics. But that all changes when he hears the words of a new mysterious lyricist.


 The first time he held a piece of paper with a rap that wasn’t his - he was frustrated. Yes, he had been having a terrible block as a lyricist, but he knew the pressure would clog up his creativity one day. He knew it right from the beginning when his first self-composed song became a crowd favorite. He would soon be squeezed like a child excitedly pouring every last drop of his favorite juice. Except in his case, they wouldn’t be able to buy new creative juices for him. There was no replacement…or so he thought.

           He was dumbfounded. How could he sing someone else’s rap lyrics? How would he be able to connect?

           "It’s just a proper guide song for now. The lyricist would rather not have their voice presented.“ the producer spoke to him in the booth.

           Yoongi nodded curtly. It was part of the job. He exhaled and placed the overly large headphones on.

           "Let me take a listen to what they have so I can get the rhythm.”

           "Sure thing.“

           And soon, his entire body froze as raw emotion thundered into his ears.

“How many things did you lie and keep from me you little piece of crap?

I feel like more surfaces every single day.
Well, good riddance.
I am so over it that nothing surprises me anymore. Like your name might not even actually be your real name for all I know. Ha.

I’m totally okay now honestly. I’m so much better without a jerk like you stabbing me in the back consistently.
I don’t need a jerk. I don’t need a liar. And I certainly don’t need a cheater.
I finally see the real you… and I honestly don’t need it. I don’t want it. Ever again.
You really screwed me over.
But I’m done with you and your lies.
I’m gonna be the better person that I always was. So you go continue your little charade and think people haven’t figured you out yet.

Keep thinking people didn’t notice how much you cheated on me even before I found out about it. Keep thinking people didn’t notice that you obviously took me for granted.

Keep thinking you never do anything wrong and losing everything from that close-minded, selfish perspective.
I’m gonna be as genuine as I always am.
When I loved, I REALLY loved. When you loved…did you really even love me? You don’t lie to the one you love so maybe that was a lie too.
I pray to God someone will come and help you fix yourself and your life.
Maybe this is always going to be the real you. But I’m not staying to find out.

Peace. ”


           It took his manager’s voice to bring him back to reality. His heartbeat quickened. He had felt like a character in the story. He felt angry at whoever it was that hurt him. He was livid…and he also felt empty.

           "Wh-who did you say was the lyricist?” he stammered, unable to recover.

           "They prefer to be secretive. Only a few people in this company have really seen this person, but apparently, they’re a genius. The song they presented to the CEO made him cry, and you know how he is.“ the manager explained.

           Yoongi shook his head, trying to overcome the wave of emotions that were crawling up inside him. It was as if the lyrics of the song had some sort of mechanism that implanted a life he’s never lived, a scenario he had never encountered into his mind and wrenched into his heart.

           "I need to find this person.” he mumbled under his breath.

           He wasn’t sure what it was, but his legs moved on their own out of the booth. Nights of frustration at not being able to figure out what to write about flooded into his thoughts. Nights where he laid in the studio feeling empty because he was numb. Because he had no more emotions to spare and certainly none to share. What did normal people his age feel? What did they do anyway? It had been years since he had even gone outside to simply grab coffee with a normal childhood friend.

           Gratefulness. Righteousness. Swagger. Pride. Happiness. Confidence. Worry. Fear of not being good enough.

           Those were the emotions that circled his life and seeped into his words, but it had begun to be redundant. He wrote and wrote. He watched movies. He listened to other songs. Trying to grasp at some new emotion, something that would fill this monotony in his life, to fill the void in him that he covered up with bright smiles, laughter, and sarcasm when other people were around.

           But all of that shifted with a simple rap verse.

           He needed to know more. He needed to find this lyricist. Maybe they held the answers he was seeking, the solution to this stalemate between his heart and mind.

           His feet took him down to the hall designated to the company’s lyricists. Briefly bumping into someone, he ran to the door that he had always glanced at in passing, knowing it was this particular lyricist’s office. It was always closed and unwelcoming with an air of mystery. He had always been curious if someone was actually there, but now he knew for sure.

           He caught his breath briefly, trying to collect himself. Then, with only a slight hesitation, he turned the knob, and opened the door.

Originally posted by yoo-ngie

alright but real talk like how did anyone not suspect that Marty Mcfly was so in love with doc in the telltale game (in the movies he in love with him either way bUT STILL) IM JUST SAYING LIKE HOW DID THOSE TWO NOT BE IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER IM SO MAD I MEAN IN THE VERY BEGINNING OF THE GAME MARTY LITERALLY MISSES HIM SO MUCH IM SO MAD IM GOING TO

anonymous asked:

Caesar, he has screwed both you and A over and look what happened to Sarin. The Merchant needs to die now. (theorcabatter)

“Y-you don’t need to tell me that. That monster said so much to me r-recently that I…I don’t even feel real anymore. He created the person I am now. All of what I am was his doing. He is the reason I am this…and the reason s-she…” 

He backed away and shook his head. 

“No, I won’t talk about this anymore. I don’t need to be reminded of what happened again!!!” 

like imo the reason why kimono is NOT cultural appropriation is because:

- multiple sources of japanese people say they have absolutely nothing wrong with it, in fact they actually encourage it

- real cultural appropriation happens when an aspect of a culture is taken out of it’s necessary cultural meaning and significance. e.g. wearing native headdresses because those have a specific cultural meaning and they aren’t just a thing that random people can wear. you have to earn it, and it’s very important culturally to a lot of native people (hopefully i said this right. i know very little about native cultures so i might have screwed up here. correct me if i am wrong or said something incorrect) 

- kimono is literally for every one to wear. this is kind of hard to explain because in a sense, everyone wears kimono (it literally translates as ‘thing to wear’) but not everyone wears specific types of kimono. married women wear kimono for married women. unmarried women have kimono specific for them, too. so do brides, and children, and men, and geiko, maiko, etc

- as long as you follow the rules (following the rules 100% is literally impossible because there are thousands of rules that are impossible to memorize that have changed over hundreds of years and there are different kimono schools that disagree about certain things) BUT as long as you follow the basic ones like folding left over right and try to do your best to dress yourself with care, you’re good. like, don’t drape the kimono improperly over yourself and say you’re a “sexy geisha girl.” just don’t. 

- kimono is unfortunately a dying art in japan. nowadays, and the majority of kimono makers are very happy that the art they love is being appreciated by young people, whether they are native japanese, or a westerner. 

- 99% of people who wear kimono are respectful and see it as an art. there are some rude and disrespectful people out there of course, but honestly almost everyone is super nice and do the best they can to research a lot. 

tl;dr it’s an awesome community filled with people from all over the world and it’s sad that some people on tumblr can’t seem to understand this and instead resort to being hateful and mean to people who like kimono. 

Professor Snape: Human Being

So. Over the past few months, I’ve read a lot of both anti-Snape and pro-Snape posts on Tumblr (all over the internet, really). I am personally a Snape fan, and yet, I’ve found that I have issues with both sides and their arguments. Normally I use this blog for social activism … but as these fictional issues relate to real-life issues, I’m going to say this anyway.

I don’t believe Snape was a bad person. I also don’t believe he was a good person. I believe Severus Snape was an incredibly human person, and potentially a lesson in cycles of abuse, human nature, emotional health, and long-term effects of trauma.

I could literally write several essays on this man, so I’ll stick to the points that seem to be brought up the most. There are other points, including Snape’s upbringing, growing up in Slytherin, being a Death eater, being a spy, and Dumbledore, but I’ll just deal with these three for now.

The Marauders: I fully, 100% believe that the Marauders were cruel, relentless bullies toward Snape. Does this make them evil? No. But having been a victim of bullying myself—for a shorter time and much lighter bullying than what Snape endured—I can attest that it deeply affects those who suffer through it, especially those with no support system (which Snape didn’t have). Even if the Marauders changed (and there’s still debate as to how much they did, but that’s another topic), that doesn’t change what they did to Snape. Snape still had to suffer for it. And no, I don’t believe that him fighting back makes it not bullying. That’s the same way so many schools operate today: that unless you literally stand there and let them abuse you (and sometimes not even then), you are just as guilty. The Marauders sought Snape out and attacked him, four on one (or at least two on one). This is bullying, and at least counts as verbal abuse, and probably some physical, with the flipping him upside down, stripping him, and choking him with soap. And what Sirius did? I don’t care if Sirius didn’t intend it that way: in Snape’s eyes, that was attempted murder (not to mention extremely cruel toward Remus).

Lily: J.K. Rowling has said numerous times that Snape truly loved Lily, and I agree, whether it was friendship or a romance. Was this the kind of love you would want in a healthy relationship? Not particularly. Lily was literally everything to Snape, and that doesn’t tend to lend itself to healthy relationships in the long run. He was desperate and lonely and had minimal social skills and didn’t understand a lot about how to be a good friend. But I do not think he harassed her. I do not think he stalked her (where did this one come from, really?). His way of speaking around her was awkward and sometimes rude, but definitely not as bad as the things James said (“I’ll leave him alone if you go out with me” and “Don’t make me hex you, Evans,” for instance). I think what he felt was love. He had just had far too rough a life to be in a relationship, at least at that point in his development. And though I do think he genuinely regretted the “mudblood” incident and sustained no racist prejudices in the long term, I think Lily had every right to end their friendship. He was getting involved in a crowd she could see was going down a very dark path, and Lily couldn’t pull him out alone.

Potions Professor: Okay, this is where I disagree with at least some Snape fans. I fully believe that what Snape did counts as verbal abuse, just like what the Marauders did counts as abuse (although Snape never dangled one of his students upside down and pants-ed them). At the very least, it was bad bullying. Snape had greater social power and took advantage of it over innocent children (who began fighting back, a bit like Snape did). Is his attitude understandable given his life circumstances, his trauma, his spying, his lack of positive role models? Definitely. But that makes it no less unacceptable. I am very adamant about acceptable ways of treating children, and Snape falls below the line by about a mile. Just as I’ve been bullied, I’ve also been treated poorly by teachers, even singled out, and not nearly as bad as Snape did to his students. It can screw you up. I don’t condone it, and if Snape were real and living, and if he was teaching a child of mine, I would march right into his office and lecture his ears off, then pull my kid out of his class so fast the chair would probably catch fire.

However …

He did wonderful things at the same time. He was a huge jerk to Harry, but also risked his life to save not only Harry, but many others who he had made no promise to save. Lily was dead, and eventually Dumbledore was dead, too: he had nothing to gain from serving the cause except seeing what she wanted in the world realized. And he ended up dying for the cause, even while believing that all he had done to protect Harry was for nothing. Without him, chances are that Voldemort would have won, and Harry very well may have died in first year. He is a bully, but he is a hero.

(And to be frank, a lot of the Hogwarts professors do things that are … rather awful, actually. McGonagall’s animal cruelty Transfiguration class and locking Neville out of the common room while Sirius Black was on the loose, to give two examples. So it seems like Hogwarts as a school condones student maltreatment, to an extent. Not to mention the blatant unfairness and favoritism of several professors.)

In addition to all of this, Snape’s character makes sense. What happens when you are neglected and possibly abused at home and no one saves you? What happens when you are tormented at school and only one person ever cares? What happens when you are nearly killed and your near-murderer is allowed to go free, while you are sworn to secrecy and your trauma brushed aside as a “childish grudge” or “overreacting”? What happens when you realize how badly you’ve screwed up with your life choices, try and fail to save the one person you love, and are then guilt-tripped into spending seventeen years making up for it? You become bitter. You become angry and vengeful and you take it out on anyone who ticks you off because you’ve never learned a better way. You believe that life isn’t fair and think that everyone has to deal with that fact. You can’t stand anyone who makes your job more difficult, because you’re constantly on the edge of losing it. Especially, you look at the people who remind you of yourself, who remind you of those who tormented you, and deep down, you’re still afraid. Afraid of the bullies. Afraid of yourself. So you take it out on them, so that they can’t hurt you. Because you hate them, and because you hate yourself.

Severus Snape is the cycle of abuse incarnate. He is what happens when we don’t help the victims of bullying and abuse. It. Keeps. Going. He is a testament to both human strength and human limits.

And … that’s my two cents.


double rainbow by bethaboo

Sebastian has to remind himself: Bucky Barnes does not exist. Bucky Barnes is a figment of his imagination. He created Bucky Barnes.

But Bucky Barnes is right here, like he’s a real person (a real person who looks exactly like Sebastian does) and that real person has real questions. Like: “why aren’t you and Chris screwing across the seven continents?”

the Evanstan/Stucky matchmaking fic that literally nobody ever asked for.

Ok I wasn’t sure if I was gonna make this post but. I guess I am.

I relate very heavily with so much that is going on between Jack and Kent (specifically Kent ok) and I’ve seen a lot of people talking about Jack minimising what happened. Which I think is true. 

You just have to remember that there’s no way Kent isn’t pulling the reverse himself. He has built everything up so much in his head. If you asked them, really asked them, what happened, their stories might even hardly match up.

What I’m trying to say is that these boys are NOT OBJECTIVE. They have both gone through a LOT and for Jack, reducing what happened in order to compartmentalise and deal with the other things he had (and has) going on is a defence mechanism. For Kent, going over it all again and again in his head until everything means more than it did, until Jack loves him back, at least in his mind (and yes, Kent is deluded. I’ve been there) is also a defence mechanism. 

They’re different people who deal with different, very shitty situations in different ways. In doing so, they hurt each other. This is so painfully real and normal. They were children. They’re still young now (and did not have a healthy development by any means, what with growing up so embroiled in hockey culture) and they screw up. It’s not okay, they need to fucking communicate, but it’s not condemnable. 

You don’t have to like either of them, just understand that neither of them carries any kind of overarching blame. At the end of the day they’re just boys who want different things out of each other.

  • Aries: “Bite the future and fuck the past” - I Hate Jimmy Page
  • Taurus: “For what it’s worth, I’d do it again” - What Do They Know?
  • Gemini: “I dress myself in fuckin' lies- I don't care” - Eveningwear
  • Cancer: “There is nothing you can do that I have not already done to myself” - Never Wanted to Dance
  • Leo: “Better than this, better than that; Better watch out when you get me goin'“ - On It
  • Virgo: “You know what I need is--And you're never gonna be it” - Issues
  • Libra: “She was a good girl and it felt great to be a liar” - Molly
  • Scorpio: “If I’m so wonderful then why am I so misunderstood?” - Kill the Rock
  • Sagittarius: “i will never be young; i will never be loved; i will never be wrong” - Royally Fucked
  • Capricorn: “Don't feel sorry for me feeling sorry's been my life's devotion; Anyway, screw you, my sentiments the same my friend” - Bed of Roses
  • Aquarius: “ ‘Fuck you man’ don’t mean nothing any more” - Played
  • Pisces: “Some, some other way, Some other place, I could be real important” - Keeping up with the Kids