anyway im sweaty because i just finished year one of pre-med and i was thinking like ‘yea im pre-med but im a Fucking Idiot and a Fool and ill never get into medicine anyway’ but im doing well in my classes and im volunteering at a nursing home/the local hospital n i rlly enjoy the environment like holy shit…this is a thing now…it could realistically happen….doctor gabi..im gonna faint
“We look not at what can be seen, but we look at what cannot be seen. For what can be seen is temporary, but what cannot be seen is eternal. For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God. A house not made from hands, eternal in the heavens.”
Once you graduate high school, you see who your real friends are. People change. Someone who you thought was your best friend will cut you off completely. Some of us enter high school with plenty of friends and end with only a few close ones. Others of us enter high school with only a few close friends and end with no friends at all. It’s just how life is. It’s like that sometimes. It sucks but it happens to almost everyone.
real friends // excerpt from a book I’ll never write #14
i keep trying to memorize every detail of the moments i live in. in the soreness of my legs from standing so long at a concert, the chill of the night, the patterns of a tablecloth, the oily texture in my mouth after eating fried bananas. i keep trying to memorize the feelings, the quiet contentedness, the laughter, the excitement. i keep trying to memorize the people, their smiles, the way they speak, what makes them laugh. i’m constantly on the cusp of the next part of my life and that’s just so.. strange. but it makes it so much easier to find happiness no matter what’s happening to me, in a way? because i’m already kind of looking at life with those rose-colored glasses of nostalgia, simply because i know these are times i’ll never be able to live again, and these are people i might not always have, and that makes it so much easier to appreciate everything i might miss later.
I honestly don’t know how people can just watch shows and not get completely obsessed over it and all the characters involved?! I really wish I could watch a show and move on without ending up spending all my time thinking about it and rewatching scenes and basically dedicating my life to it lmao
i have literally no sense of time beyond a couple days, either forwards or backwards
something happened a week ago? sure, but it feels the same to me as if it was three weeks ago, or three days. something else happened? ok, but i cant tell you if it came before the other thing, or after, or even on the same day
& if something is more than a week in the future, it just doesnt exist. i cant plan for it. i cant remember any plans people tell me about it. i cant prepare for anything beyond the horizon
its never had too much of an impact on me, but im scared of whatll happen if im a suspect for a crime
‘what were you doing 8pm last friday?’ something, im sure. maybe nothing. honestly i feel like ive only existed this second. ‘you told us this sequence of events before, but now youve changed the order. are you lying?’ i mean im not trying to deceive you but theres a 90% chance that anything i tell you is a false memory. isnt there someone else you can ask? if i try to give you the story again, itll be different again